I can't with 3rd story dude. He never even mentioned how he hurt his fiancé, only how she's this heartless/ruthless woman that can't see things from his perspective. The lack of self awareness this dude has is insane. This might actually be the first story that actually pissed me off!
Last story: that level of cheating and the duplicity and ease with which they did it. No remorse to this day, it qualifies the statement “once a cheater always a cheater”.
I think the compulsive cheater is not gonna cheat mainly due to the way he described the story. He's not sorry, he doesn't see anything wrong with his behavior, he asked for comprehension when he did nothing to amend it and he sees limits as something negative. Finally, the worst part to me is the fact that he compares his new partner with the old one as if the other partner DESERVED the cheating. No, no one deserves it
He's gonna cheat* I don't know why I got it wrong at the beginning HAHAHAHA but he implies that there are people who deserve cheating sooooo when her girlfriend gets boring to him, he will start cheating again
3rd Story: I don’t blame his fiancée whatsoever because the saying, “the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior”, totally applies here. Besides that, infidelity is a form of emotional and psychological abuse i.e gaslighting. So OP doesn’t only have a history of serial infidelity, but also one of abuse. He’s now being arrogantly dismissive and is entirely unrepentant and unwilling to admit culpability. His past actions and all his current LIES OF OMISSION prove that he cannot be trusted because he’s inherently dishonest and disloyal. Yes, cheaters can be reformed, but only with a lot of soul searching, intensive therapy, and hard work. He has obviously done none of that, otherwise he would’ve already told his fiancée the whole truth when they first became an exclusive couple. He really is the worst type of duplicitous partner and should probably stay single until he sorts out the many flaws in his character.
What bothers me most about the third story is that based on his reaction to her wanting to break up and buy him out I suspect that he will not tell future partners the entire reason behind her breaking up with him. I get the feeling that he will probably play the victim. Maybe and hopefully not, but just the vibes he gives out with his "This was such a shock" comment.
As someone who HAS dealt with story number two with the cheating list and broken friendship. A ***middle school*** friend of both me and my best friend stole my best friends fiance. So no. I wouldn't keep talking to them. And I don't 🤷♀️ I think they're disgusting and disrespectful af. I would never be friends with someone that I can't trust. Someone who does something like that and acts like they did nothing wrong. It's disturbing. Easy cut off no questions asked. And I quite frankly question the morals of anyone who disagrees.
1st story - I’m honestly wondering if she was messaging those guys ‘professionally’ because even for a serial cheater, 30 is a LOT of people to juggle. (100% still not ok to do without your partner’s knowledge)
I was thinking this. absolutely no judgement on sex work but if she can keep up with all that she might be able to make bank. Keep it moderately legal and go at it but most of all inform. your. partner!
Yeah the only time I've messaged 30 guys was when I was an escort. Its very hard and overwhelming to speak to 30 men regularly. NO ONE is doing that for fun 😂 but that's why she was depressed. She felt stuck. This is how I met my now husband but I was honest with him from the beginning. She should have been honest. Dude sounds like he even wants to work it out so that also tells me he knows it's not just for pleasure. He's clearly not working to be able to look through her phone and sounds like he never leaves the house at all... probably why she thought he was cheating 🤷🏾
1st story: if they are in the UK they may be in for some common law rights but OP has to research it. Common Law is still a thing in the UK and Canada I believe. I wouldn't dna test the kids because of the common law stuff. 3rd story: Bruh. You had years to tell her about this little friend circle you had. I understand him not wanting to sabotage a relationship by unveiling his past but you have no idea. Maybe she could have been forgiving and accepted you but you don't know that because you robbed her of the chance. How you worded your story you don't sound as remorseful of what you did as you do now that you lost your relationship with this girl.
The last OP isn’t sorry for cheating and gaslighting his exes and lying to his now ex-fiancé about his past. He’s sorry because he got caught and is now facing the consequences of his actions.
You guys are sooo good at relationships😂. You should totally start up another business as life coaches.😉 You guys make me laugh. I'm not good medically and so those unexpected bursts of laughter and having my mind taken off of my situation is a nice break. Take care! I hope you guys and/or anybody else that reads this has a great day/night❣️🌸
The first OP needs to divorce that cheater and get himself tested for STDs and STIs. Who knows what that woman’s carrying. The last OP deserves to be alone for the rest of his life. It wouldn’t have mattered what he said to her. You can never trust the words of a cheater because they are liars by default. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was or if he feels bad about it. He’s supposed to feel bad. Guilt and time aren’t a get out of jail free card. It’s clear that he doesn’t love anyone but himself as he didn’t tell any of his exes what he did and he didn’t even have the decency to tell his last partner about his past so she could make an informed decision. He’s scum and he deserves to spend the rest of his worthless life alone and miserable. The only reason you should call that worthless manslut is to verbally rip him apart for his actions.
I am going to disagree with that statement of once a cheater always a cheater. Some people make mistakes and learn from them. A lot of cheaters do happen to fit that bill, of course. It just depends on how they go about the situation. In this case, the OP in the third story probably has no remorse for what they did and to make matters worse, they gas lighted all their partners lying to them saying nothing was happening. At the point one has to guess if the OP will repeat the cycle with the new relationship if someone better came along. The OP learned a lesson the hard way (hopefully). I'm also going to suspect the former relationships probably want nothing to do with the OP so apologies most likely won't happen so it's best if OP moved forward and maybe live along for a while thinking how his actions affected those people. Perhaps admitting that he was in the wrong and how horrible he made his partners feel would be a starter. Idk I'm not a therapist so I'm not sure what the best course of action would be. I just hope for the best for the OP's ex. It's best not to deal with a cheater who lied to their partners making them feel like shit. Anyway, that's my 2 cents on the post and once a cheat always a cheater comment. 👍
If he loves the kids and wants to be their dad regardless… it may be better if he doesn’t get the test. It could make it harder for him to get custody.
I cheated on my ex husband after he cheated on me (not an excuse). Ive been the cheater and the cheated. It felt so bad and I never EVER want to feel that way again. Its been 12 years and I've avoided all cheating possibilities. If a man flirts, I remember how awful and guilty I felt back then and I very politely set boundaries and make it clear that I'm not available for anything
To me, there's someone who cheats and there's cheaters. Someone who cheats may change, or at least have remorse or acted on a bad impulse. Repeat cheaters rarely repent or feel bad for who they hurt/what they did. Even "reformed" serial cheaters tend to relapse at some point in some small way or another; in my experience, cheating one time is one thing, but in my experience.. Recurrent cheaters don't ever change, no matter how much they believe they did.
That bride who let her friend who she caught cheating with her ex boyfriend has NO BACKBONE. What’s in it for her to invite a “friend” who clearly does not respect her?
If your friend is okay sleeping with other friends boyfriends, it’s just a matter of time before she goes after your man. Some women want what they can’t have and get off on sneaking around
It wasnt really a list of people who cheated on the 2 girls in the 2nd story about the wedding. Each woman had just one girl who their exs cheated with.
OH! OH!!!! Invite the wife of the first story to meet the OP of the last story!!! they're the only ones who can be with either of them! like a spinning wheel of filth... 😆😆😆
Story 3. Yta actions have consequences and he's getting a dose of the consequences. I'm so happy she dumped his cheating but. He has no respect for women or relationships because if he did he wouldn't be doing stuff
The 3 one is damn near everyone’s story. Minus the fucking each other. Most of us know cheaters and allow it to happen all the damn time because of the “it ain’t our business attitude.” But y’all gonna switch games now? Lmao It shows me y’all will accept cheating until it gets to that point. How about we have the same energy about EVERY cheater and not just this one.
first OP wasn't married which was the problem, he ain't protected legally and honestly guys after one child its the deadline to propose and resentment build up when you don't marry your partner it means basically you are not sure this is the one aka you open to finding someone else why do you need to be really to run at whatever point? We wanted to be affirmed as your partner and secured specially if there is ANY children.
Stories about me after my dog that I had since I was a newborn died the day after she died best friend left me and she left me like a hundred times for my bully I meant you just ditched me and I have never seen her since my dog died in 2021
I think OP was trapped in a group dynamic and attracted to narcissistic partners which made him comfortable in that cheating lifestyle which started at his late teens. There is a 3 years gap between the ending of the friendships and dating his fiancée, which can be enough time to grow and heal from his previous life and start a healthy relationship. Finally the fiancée has every right to chose her peace of mind and end the relationship.
Last story I think the fiancé is overreacting completely ending things when it happened ages ago and everyone moved forwards not to mention she didn’t even know the people that were involved since op distanced himself from the group before he even met her and people absolutely can change it just takes a lot of working on themselves and with their partner but it sounds like op has been loyal and the fiancé might have past experience of being cheated on so it might bring back those feelings and it would explain her reaction but she shouldn’t treat op like he cheated on her when he’s been faithful
Okay… story 3… unpopular opinion… he’s nta for not telling her. The only part I didn’t agree with was that he didn’t apologize to his former partners for cheating… I think that’s really heartless but who cares. He’s with you now. Have the convo and move on. Honestly I think she was looking for an out. Let the past be the past.
Good God....I would love to know what kind of things his fiance did in the past that she never brought up..... because it's in the PAST and he was likely a DIFFERENT Person with a DIFFERENT lifestyle. The fact he bought a house and wanted to marry her and settle down is a massive indicator that he grew up and just wanted her. If anything the only thing the fiance had a right to ask is, were you ever unfaithful during OUR relationship. And if she has doubt, have him do lie detector test to put her mind at ease. It's despicable to judge or condemn someone for what they did or who they were before you meet them (within reason; obviously I don't condone being a serial killer, rapist, child molester, etc) that's one of the reasons I HATE when men OR women ask about your body count on a first date....ick 🤢 🤮 if anything ask if they've had a recent std test.... THAT'S what you really should be concerned about.
If you talk about the last story, I don't think she judged him just by his past, but by the fact that she found out from someone else, by how OP minimizes his bad actions, by how he seems to imply that the reason why He wouldn't cheat on her because she is "special", because the only reason this dynamic of cheating ended was because one of the girls decided to leave. Your partner shouldn't judge you for your past, but your past actions and decisions reveal a lot about you as a person.
Body count question is a fickle question, I’ll agree (and impossible to verify). But we have to judge character by their past. Our past shapes us into who we are. If OP wasn’t honest before, why’d anyone expect honesty from him now?
@@Emptytopfloor glad you agree with me! But the person who commented prior to you I think didn't quite understand the valid point I was trying to make....if OP's fiance was worried that he had been unfaithful in THEIR relationship, it's easily proven with a lie detector or voice stress analysis test. Its absolutely absurd and completely ridiculous to punish someone for cheating in the PAST. Especially without the context of the dynamic of the past relationship, and the obvious indication that he's grown and matured. This is an issue that is near and dear to my heart because I've undergone a COMPLETE transformation personality wise and morality wise as well. I was an intravenous meth and heroin addict for about 7 years and.did some horrifically gross things that in hindsight make me a bit quesy and put this man's cheating phase to shame.....but I've been clean since April of 2019, and even in the height of my addiction had regular std tests. I met my current husband during the pandemic and he moved from Connecticut to AZ to be with me. He knows I used to be an addict, (because that would be disingenuous to not tell him that, plus I DO still have faint track marks on my arms) but I can't see their ever being a time where it would be necessary OR productive to inform him about any specifics regarding me being with a drug dealer, or running a trap house or prostituting, dancing etc. And if he were to break up with me for something that had occured before I even knew him I would be completely outraged! And I suspect thats what this woman is doing to OP, and I get what Charlotte was saying about how he should have been remorseful, but I can also see why he would immediately get defensive because why would it possibly be any of her concern or business whether his girlfriend from YEARS ago knew he cheated or not?! Like I said, what matters is, is he faithful and good to her, and is he a good man NOW. She was FULLY prepared to be with him for life before hearing about some insignificant experience from his past. I don't think it was the right choice at ALL, and I think she was being too hasty and SUPER judgemental.
@@hollistersurferdude thank you for opening up about your traumatic past. If it’s okay with you, can you tell me whether you trust yourself around drugs (whichever you were into) and the other vices you’ve been through?
@@Emptytopfloor absolutely! Because part of truly successful recovery is being able to exist in the world, AND recognize that just because I retired, there's still drugs anywhere I go, AND I even have people that I love that still use, so I have to limit the time I spend with them....but I didn't think it would be fair to go fully no contact. Some people DO stop associating with all of their old friends/family that still use; (and I understand that FULLY) but my sister still does meth, and I love her very much and I'm afraid to ghost her cuz often when you completely turn your back on women addicts, the likelihood of them dying on the streets becomes more likely....I specified female addicts because they often OD easier, and they're often taken advantage of, ripped off, and killed😿 I'm not being sexist.
I can't with 3rd story dude. He never even mentioned how he hurt his fiancé, only how she's this heartless/ruthless woman that can't see things from his perspective. The lack of self awareness this dude has is insane. This might actually be the first story that actually pissed me off!
This is how narcissists slowly drive people crazy. The mindf*ck is never ending.
You must not have listened to a lot of these stories then lol because a ton of them are so infuriating and frustrating
Last story: that level of cheating and the duplicity and ease with which they did it. No remorse to this day, it qualifies the statement “once a cheater always a cheater”.
I think the compulsive cheater is not gonna cheat mainly due to the way he described the story. He's not sorry, he doesn't see anything wrong with his behavior, he asked for comprehension when he did nothing to amend it and he sees limits as something negative. Finally, the worst part to me is the fact that he compares his new partner with the old one as if the other partner DESERVED the cheating. No, no one deserves it
He's gonna cheat* I don't know why I got it wrong at the beginning HAHAHAHA but he implies that there are people who deserve cheating sooooo when her girlfriend gets boring to him, he will start cheating again
You are 100% right, this will always be an alternative for him.
@@HweienthusiastYou should edit your original comment.
3rd Story: I don’t blame his fiancée whatsoever because the saying, “the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior”, totally applies here. Besides that, infidelity is a form of emotional and psychological abuse i.e gaslighting. So OP doesn’t only have a history of serial infidelity, but also one of abuse. He’s now being arrogantly dismissive and is entirely unrepentant and unwilling to admit culpability. His past actions and all his current LIES OF OMISSION prove that he cannot be trusted because he’s inherently dishonest and disloyal.
Yes, cheaters can be reformed, but only with a lot of soul searching, intensive therapy, and hard work. He has obviously done none of that, otherwise he would’ve already told his fiancée the whole truth when they first became an exclusive couple. He really is the worst type of duplicitous partner and should probably stay single until he sorts out the many flaws in his character.
And once a person cheats, the percentage is higher that they will again vs. a person who has never cheated before.
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Can we kick that last guy out of the OKOP gang?
What bothers me most about the third story is that based on his reaction to her wanting to break up and buy him out I suspect that he will not tell future partners the entire reason behind her breaking up with him. I get the feeling that he will probably play the victim. Maybe and hopefully not, but just the vibes he gives out with his "This was such a shock" comment.
she found out from someone else as well so he was never going to tell her anyway. so icky
As someone who HAS dealt with story number two with the cheating list and broken friendship. A ***middle school*** friend of both me and my best friend stole my best friends fiance. So no. I wouldn't keep talking to them. And I don't 🤷♀️ I think they're disgusting and disrespectful af. I would never be friends with someone that I can't trust. Someone who does something like that and acts like they did nothing wrong. It's disturbing. Easy cut off no questions asked. And I quite frankly question the morals of anyone who disagrees.
1st story - I’m honestly wondering if she was messaging those guys ‘professionally’ because even for a serial cheater, 30 is a LOT of people to juggle. (100% still not ok to do without your partner’s knowledge)
I was thinking this.
Edit : I'm also thinking he's not working.
I was thinking this. absolutely no judgement on sex work but if she can keep up with all that she might be able to make bank. Keep it moderately legal and go at it but most of all inform. your. partner!
No, she is definitely an escort.
Yeah the only time I've messaged 30 guys was when I was an escort. Its very hard and overwhelming to speak to 30 men regularly. NO ONE is doing that for fun 😂 but that's why she was depressed. She felt stuck. This is how I met my now husband but I was honest with him from the beginning. She should have been honest. Dude sounds like he even wants to work it out so that also tells me he knows it's not just for pleasure. He's clearly not working to be able to look through her phone and sounds like he never leaves the house at all... probably why she thought he was cheating 🤷🏾
I've NEVER been this early I love the show and if I ever figure out how to use reddit I'm going to post and hopefully get to hear you two read it
We have a call in number now :0 check our TikTok haha. Thanks for being early!
Same 🤌🏽🤘🏽
I wake up in the afternoon and watch them to start my day and laugh 💯
1st story: if they are in the UK they may be in for some common law rights but OP has to research it. Common Law is still a thing in the UK and Canada I believe. I wouldn't dna test the kids because of the common law stuff.
3rd story: Bruh. You had years to tell her about this little friend circle you had. I understand him not wanting to sabotage a relationship by unveiling his past but you have no idea. Maybe she could have been forgiving and accepted you but you don't know that because you robbed her of the chance. How you worded your story you don't sound as remorseful of what you did as you do now that you lost your relationship with this girl.
I think the OP of last story needs to get cheated on and gaslit about it... just so he can learn empathy.
The last OP isn’t sorry for cheating and gaslighting his exes and lying to his now ex-fiancé about his past. He’s sorry because he got caught and is now facing the consequences of his actions.
She’s only invited to be a bridesmaid because the Bride ran out of friends to fill for the wedding party
You guys are sooo good at relationships😂. You should totally start up another business as life coaches.😉
You guys make me laugh. I'm not good medically and so those unexpected bursts of laughter and having my mind taken off of my situation is a nice break. Take care!
I hope you guys and/or anybody else that reads this has a great day/night❣️🌸
Thank you so much! We try our best :)
The first OP needs to divorce that cheater and get himself tested for STDs and STIs. Who knows what that woman’s carrying.
The last OP deserves to be alone for the rest of his life. It wouldn’t have mattered what he said to her. You can never trust the words of a cheater because they are liars by default. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was or if he feels bad about it. He’s supposed to feel bad. Guilt and time aren’t a get out of jail free card. It’s clear that he doesn’t love anyone but himself as he didn’t tell any of his exes what he did and he didn’t even have the decency to tell his last partner about his past so she could make an informed decision. He’s scum and he deserves to spend the rest of his worthless life alone and miserable. The only reason you should call that worthless manslut is to verbally rip him apart for his actions.
I am going to disagree with that statement of once a cheater always a cheater. Some people make mistakes and learn from them. A lot of cheaters do happen to fit that bill, of course. It just depends on how they go about the situation. In this case, the OP in the third story probably has no remorse for what they did and to make matters worse, they gas lighted all their partners lying to them saying nothing was happening. At the point one has to guess if the OP will repeat the cycle with the new relationship if someone better came along. The OP learned a lesson the hard way (hopefully). I'm also going to suspect the former relationships probably want nothing to do with the OP so apologies most likely won't happen so it's best if OP moved forward and maybe live along for a while thinking how his actions affected those people. Perhaps admitting that he was in the wrong and how horrible he made his partners feel would be a starter. Idk I'm not a therapist so I'm not sure what the best course of action would be. I just hope for the best for the OP's ex. It's best not to deal with a cheater who lied to their partners making them feel like shit. Anyway, that's my 2 cents on the post and once a cheat always a cheater comment. 👍
@@pinkpeonies3236are you a former cheater too?
@@pinkpeonies3236 Judging from his words in the update, OP hasn’t learned his lesson at all.
@@pinkpeonies3236 only a cheater would not want to believe that once a cheater is always a cheater.
Dna test kids
STD + STI test for OP. God knows what that bitch might be carrying from her affairs.
If he loves the kids and wants to be their dad regardless… it may be better if he doesn’t get the test. It could make it harder for him to get custody.
Call a great divorce attorney. She’s a serial cheater and she will never stop. Plus, get yourself checked out for and STD.
I cheated on my ex husband after he cheated on me (not an excuse). Ive been the cheater and the cheated. It felt so bad and I never EVER want to feel that way again. Its been 12 years and I've avoided all cheating possibilities. If a man flirts, I remember how awful and guilty I felt back then and I very politely set boundaries and make it clear that I'm not available for anything
I absolutely love this show. I love how invested you both are. keep up the great work
Yes, call!!!
To me, there's someone who cheats and there's cheaters. Someone who cheats may change, or at least have remorse or acted on a bad impulse. Repeat cheaters rarely repent or feel bad for who they hurt/what they did. Even "reformed" serial cheaters tend to relapse at some point in some small way or another; in my experience, cheating one time is one thing, but in my experience.. Recurrent cheaters don't ever change, no matter how much they believe they did.
That bride who let her friend who she caught cheating with her ex boyfriend has NO BACKBONE. What’s in it for her to invite a “friend” who clearly does not respect her?
If your friend is okay sleeping with other friends boyfriends, it’s just a matter of time before she goes after your man. Some women want what they can’t have and get off on sneaking around
Last story: His lack of accountability and persistent gaslighting, gosh. You deserve to be alone for life, dude
It wasnt really a list of people who cheated on the 2 girls in the 2nd story about the wedding. Each woman had just one girl who their exs cheated with.
There was no list it was just the two people who they caught people cheating candy and ali
That’s still a list.
OH! OH!!!! Invite the wife of the first story to meet the OP of the last story!!! they're the only ones who can be with either of them! like a spinning wheel of filth... 😆😆😆
Story 3. Yta actions have consequences and he's getting a dose of the consequences.
I'm so happy she dumped his cheating but. He has no respect for women or relationships because if he did he wouldn't be doing stuff
I’m just glad that she found out before the wedding
@@Emptytopfloor yes exactly
😂 lmao I'm starting to think all this toxic friend groups are normal
I really believe that no one in a committed relationship should me snapping anyone of the opposite sex
The 3 one is damn near everyone’s story. Minus the fucking each other. Most of us know cheaters and allow it to happen all the damn time because of the “it ain’t our business attitude.” But y’all gonna switch games now? Lmao
It shows me y’all will accept cheating until it gets to that point. How about we have the same energy about EVERY cheater and not just this one.
first OP wasn't married which was the problem, he ain't protected legally and honestly guys after one child its the deadline to propose and resentment build up when you don't marry your partner it means basically you are not sure this is the one aka you open to finding someone else why do you need to be really to run at whatever point? We wanted to be affirmed as your partner and secured specially if there is ANY children.
Love how we’re comparing ex cheaters to ex cons
The wedding story. Im pretty so I might of tried to get in touch with Candy and give her my invite
What about the people who are outside the usa can they call?
Stories about me after my dog that I had since I was a newborn died the day after she died best friend left me and she left me like a hundred times for my bully I meant you just ditched me and I have never seen her since my dog died in 2021
Damn I'm early 😂
I think OP was trapped in a group dynamic and attracted to narcissistic partners which made him comfortable in that cheating lifestyle which started at his late teens. There is a 3 years gap between the ending of the friendships and dating his fiancée, which can be enough time to grow and heal from his previous life and start a healthy relationship. Finally the fiancée has every right to chose her peace of mind and end the relationship.
U are so blurry! hehe.. Like PS1 vs PS5 graphics.
Last story I think the fiancé is overreacting completely ending things when it happened ages ago and everyone moved forwards not to mention she didn’t even know the people that were involved since op distanced himself from the group before he even met her and people absolutely can change it just takes a lot of working on themselves and with their partner but it sounds like op has been loyal and the fiancé might have past experience of being cheated on so it might bring back those feelings and it would explain her reaction but she shouldn’t treat op like he cheated on her when he’s been faithful
Okay… story 3… unpopular opinion… he’s nta for not telling her. The only part I didn’t agree with was that he didn’t apologize to his former partners for cheating… I think that’s really heartless but who cares. He’s with you now. Have the convo and move on. Honestly I think she was looking for an out. Let the past be the past.
Nah, if you don't care that your partner cheated in all their previous partners, that's fine and dandy, but not everyone is that way.
Good God....I would love to know what kind of things his fiance did in the past that she never brought up..... because it's in the PAST and he was likely a DIFFERENT Person with a DIFFERENT lifestyle. The fact he bought a house and wanted to marry her and settle down is a massive indicator that he grew up and just wanted her. If anything the only thing the fiance had a right to ask is, were you ever unfaithful during OUR relationship. And if she has doubt, have him do lie detector test to put her mind at ease. It's despicable to judge or condemn someone for what they did or who they were before you meet them (within reason; obviously I don't condone being a serial killer, rapist, child molester, etc) that's one of the reasons I HATE when men OR women ask about your body count on a first date....ick 🤢 🤮 if anything ask if they've had a recent std test.... THAT'S what you really should be concerned about.
If you talk about the last story, I don't think she judged him just by his past, but by the fact that she found out from someone else, by how OP minimizes his bad actions, by how he seems to imply that the reason why He wouldn't cheat on her because she is "special", because the only reason this dynamic of cheating ended was because one of the girls decided to leave.
Your partner shouldn't judge you for your past, but your past actions and decisions reveal a lot about you as a person.
Body count question is a fickle question, I’ll agree (and impossible to verify). But we have to judge character by their past. Our past shapes us into who we are. If OP wasn’t honest before, why’d anyone expect honesty from him now?
@@Emptytopfloor glad you agree with me! But the person who commented prior to you I think didn't quite understand the valid point I was trying to make....if OP's fiance was worried that he had been unfaithful in THEIR relationship, it's easily proven with a lie detector or voice stress analysis test. Its absolutely absurd and completely ridiculous to punish someone for cheating in the PAST. Especially without the context of the dynamic of the past relationship, and the obvious indication that he's grown and matured. This is an issue that is near and dear to my heart because I've undergone a COMPLETE transformation personality wise and morality wise as well. I was an intravenous meth and heroin addict for about 7 years and.did some horrifically gross things that in hindsight make me a bit quesy and put this man's cheating phase to shame.....but I've been clean since April of 2019, and even in the height of my addiction had regular std tests. I met my current husband during the pandemic and he moved from Connecticut to AZ to be with me. He knows I used to be an addict, (because that would be disingenuous to not tell him that, plus I DO still have faint track marks on my arms) but I can't see their ever being a time where it would be necessary OR productive to inform him about any specifics regarding me being with a drug dealer, or running a trap house or prostituting, dancing etc. And if he were to break up with me for something that had occured before I even knew him I would be completely outraged! And I suspect thats what this woman is doing to OP, and I get what Charlotte was saying about how he should have been remorseful, but I can also see why he would immediately get defensive because why would it possibly be any of her concern or business whether his girlfriend from YEARS ago knew he cheated or not?! Like I said, what matters is, is he faithful and good to her, and is he a good man NOW. She was FULLY prepared to be with him for life before hearing about some insignificant experience from his past. I don't think it was the right choice at ALL, and I think she was being too hasty and SUPER judgemental.
@@hollistersurferdude thank you for opening up about your traumatic past. If it’s okay with you, can you tell me whether you trust yourself around drugs (whichever you were into) and the other vices you’ve been through?
@@Emptytopfloor absolutely! Because part of truly successful recovery is being able to exist in the world, AND recognize that just because I retired, there's still drugs anywhere I go, AND I even have people that I love that still use, so I have to limit the time I spend with them....but I didn't think it would be fair to go fully no contact. Some people DO stop associating with all of their old friends/family that still use; (and I understand that FULLY) but my sister still does meth, and I love her very much and I'm afraid to ghost her cuz often when you completely turn your back on women addicts, the likelihood of them dying on the streets becomes more likely....I specified female addicts because they often OD easier, and they're often taken advantage of, ripped off, and killed😿 I'm not being sexist.
I love rhyming for fun as a mom to throw one in there and see my teens cringe, but hell yeah John the poet 🤌🏽🤘🏽