OP1 got lot of hate for pretending for 4 months while his ex was pretending for an entire year and planning on fooling him to raise another man's kid. She is the psychopath in this story.
But he doubled down and sunk down to her level so he is just as bad in my opinion. The same way if a girl was SA'd she wouldn't then go and SA the person who did it to her to get even. Or if somebody is murdered you don't then murder to get back at the person, you call the cops and you put them in prison for the rest of their life. You have to rise above the bullshit and stay above the bullshit otherwise you're just more of the bullshit that you hate. You become the very thing that you don't like and the very thing that hurt you. Becoming more of the problem doesn't make the problem cancel itself out like math it's not a negative times a negative equals a positive here folks
@@shadowykitty5588no he didn't. I mean if he's into self torture than fine. Remember she doesn't really care, she was just sad one of her options left and that was bad for her ego, cos she turned back to Brian asap anyway (and got rejected lol). In my opinion she's a sad woman, even if OP was not a good partner, she could have, you know, communicated with him instead of CHEATING
Story 1: I would hesitate to call the guy a psychopath you think 4 months is along time to hide something the girl hid hear relationship for a a WHOLE YEAR
Story 1: I honestly think OP went a little light on his cheating ex. She was about to pass a kid along as his. Years of bonding and betrayal that would have been, thankfully avoided. I honestly would have been much more cruel. He isn't an a**hole for what he did imo. He pretty much just told her that he knew and bounced. He could have done so much more, so much worse but went along with a simple "I know and you're on your own, bye". He isn't a psychopath. Just hurt and straightforward with his simple revenge.
Story 1 - NTA. I think Sam & John are being overly harsh on OP. They seem to have glossed over the fact that when he was initially talking to Bryan, he said OP's wife's desire to keep this secret was due to not wanting to lose her perfect life, and to avoid Brian having to raise the child. No mention of not wanting to hurt OP, or the usual "this would destroy him" stuff. Brian comes across as a decent guy as he, at least, does appear to have a conscience, and it looks this never sat right with him, hence him finding OP. I think you're a bit quick to label OP a psychopath. For one, it's a medical diagnosis. Secondly, while the 4 month wait and telling the wife on birth day may look like the actions of a psychopath, other things described go against that diagnosis (he doesn't want to be involved, but genuinely wishes Brian and the kid well for the future).
Yes, a medical diagnosis that seems accurate. Man's entire life was blown up and he had such little feeling over it, other than his own seething anger, that he was able to suppress his feelings for 4 months just to get revenge when she was most vulnerable. Insane. Absolutely insane. I can't imagine why she would have cheated. He sounds emotionally unsafe. Many women with guys like that seek out a more emotionally stable partner, but she likely felt like she couldn't leave.
@minxymoo2325 So you're just going to ignore the fact that SHE was the one pretending for an entire year that the baby was his because she wanted to stay with him and keep her "perfect" life and that's all she cared about? i think she's more insane for that. people do react with anger at being lied to, believe it or not. you trying to paint the op out like this solely because he's a man and turning a blind eye to what she did and trying to justify her cheating is just nasty.
Aw! The small part about actually proposing when the birth happened, changes the whole view on the situation. NTA you can’t call the guy a psycho when she was gonna go through the whole 18 years acting he’s the father!
I mean...two wrongs don't make a right. Being a psycho to an A-Hole is still being a psycho. It was a clear example of an Everyone Sucks Here situation.
@@davidharshman7645 he might be an asshole to others but he was hurt & she had no regard to his feelings why should he. I get it was mean but how long would she go on with the lie?
yeah and she tried to pass off this kid as his. that is a terrible thing to do and the truly psychopathic behavior. he pretended for a few months. she pretended for a year would have forever.
What a weird double standard. She cheated on him and was fully willing to make him raise a child that wasn't his so she could keep her "perfect life" but *he's* the psychopath?! She was willing to use this guy as a tool for the rest of his life, but *he's* the psychopath?! She saw him as nothing but an ATM, but he's the psychopath?!?! He wanted revenge for being used but apparently he's not allowed to have even that little satisfaction...
Story 1: Sam, I feel like you have a tendency to always side with the cheater lol this man’s life was destroyed and you’re like “He’s the psychopath” lol I think he’s justified. NTA LOL I feel turnabout is fair play.
Seriously. Dude was happy about being a dad and thought he was the father for 6 fucking months. HALF A YEAR! Plus the time he spent with his ex. That was a huge betrayal of his trust, I totally understand what he did. I don't agree with it, but I still don't blame him, but that doesn't mean he's a psychopath.
It’s so weird that he always sides with the cheater in these stories.. especially because he’s talked at length about the trust issues he has because one of his girlfriends in highschool cheated on him(🙄) like I would assume someone who’s been cheated on and wasnt a cheater themselves to be on the side of the person who’s been cheated on but for some reason he always seems to lean in favor of the person doing the dirt behind their partners back… super odd
While he said he wanted to inflict the most pain possible by waiting, what he did was best for the baby because if she got stressed during pregnancy it could affect the baby, as a side note!
I don't think story 1 guy was a psycho. He basically supported a woman who betrayed him until her baby was born. He made sure the baby had a father figure to take care of him. He basically supported he up until it was time to sign the birth certificate. Also telling her he was planning on leaving beforehand could have stressed her out and harmed the baby, so whatever his intentions may have been, he actually showed his ex and the baby far more compassion than anyone in this story showed him. Painting him as the worst person in the story is wild.
There can be many reasons for long engagements: saving money, venue availability, size of families/guest list, general planning (a ton goes into weddings, including a lot of things you don’t think of) etc. COVID also backed up weddings considerably, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some venues and vendors have a 2+ year waiting list still
If a women wanted to hurt their man for cheating, it would be empowering. Good for him. Also, the baby could have been affected by stress if he did it during the pregnancy.
SO op is a bad person for being cheated on by somebody who was supposed to love him and then tried to trap him with a baby that wasnt his and she knew he was wasnt the father
He did not lie .. Lol SHE DID ... SHE LITERALLY STEPPED OUT ON HIM !! IT’S CALLED SWEET REVENGE . SHE HURT HIM DEEPLY ACTING LIKE IT WAS HIS CHILD SO HE STILL SUPPORTED HER FOR 4 MONTHS AND THE CAME CLEAN ..
Yall are so soft, OP was not the AH, she cheated for a whole year, wanted to trick him with a child and you all think he's an AH for not confronting her for 4 months, after that level of betrayal he's free to deal with it however he wishes, so what if it was psychological, she deserved no pity
Story 2: OP should tell the wife and then tell her friends in a group message so everyone knows what happened at once. I would apologize for not telling my friends earlier but explain of was embarrassed by my own naïveté and didn’t want to admit I was tricked and broken hearted.
first story nta she went behind his back for a year and was just gonna make him believe he was this kids dad.honestly waiting 4 months to hurt her with that is karma, fuck around and find out
Sams opinion to story one just kind of irked me I feel like Sam just spills out random shit and doesn’t realize it could be insensitive or just sounds stupid
🤔I would think that a woman pretending that someone else is her baby’s father for nine months is *way* more psychopathic than that man pretending *NOT* to know for a couple of months😒…but hey, what do I know?
Sams opinion to story one just kind of irked me I feel like Sam just spills out random crap and doesn’t realize it could be insensitive like she was gonna baby trap him And then, with the nice guy Comment like he just found out this baby isn’t his and the girl he was gonna marry cheated on him like what She was literally going to lie to him for the rest of her life idk just my opinion Granted him waiting four months to tell her that he knows in the delivery room was not the best idea Either Definitely not excusing that part Y’all definitely cutting the wife a lotta slack Four months compared to a whole lifetime is kind of a big deal I don’t agree with how he went about it, That’s all I wanted to say I love the show, but sometimes I just think Sam’s opinions are just a little silly
Someone even mentioned in another comment, what if he told her during the pregnacy and stressed her. Stress is not good for anyone much less a pregnant woman. While the girl is an asshole the baby deserves to be born healthy. The waiting might have even been better imo
Getting engaged is an expensive process especially weddings. Some people want a long engagement, have kids and wait until they’re financially stable. /fiancée and mother of four engaged nearly four years.
i think long term engagements are more about the promise of being together even if you don’t have the funds to get married in a years time, if that makes sense, i had friends that were engaged for five years, and then got married because at the time of engagement they didn’t have enough to throw the wedding of their dreams.
Me and my fiancé got engaged 2 years ago on the 27th of this month, and we haven't even entertained the idea of planning for a wedding. Basically, my fiancé was in a major motorbike accident the year we got engaged. The Police had even closed off that entire section of the motorway because they were sure they would be dealing with a death, miraculously however my fiancé did survive with no broken bones, though he does have long term amnesia, nerve damage and some spinal damage which makes it hard for him to walk (he was hit off of his motorbike by a drunk driver at close to 100mph.) Six months later, for the first time since his accident, he was able to bend down on one knee and propose to me on our anniversary. We already knew we would be getting married, and the accident shook him so much he wanted to propose to me and show his love if anything were to happen in the future. Also, money 😅 We're now trying to build a business seeing as his condition has made it difficult to be employed, so we want to be financially stable before spending out on a wedding.
I've been engaged for nearly six years now. There can be so many reasons to delay marriage. For us, there's some financial things that he needs to take care of. And once we do marry, we'll probably have to file our taxes separately because of this financial obligation. Doing that will decrease how much I get back. But if we filed together, we might not get anything back. For mainly this reason, we have not gotten married. We live together as if we're married in every aspect except for the paper that makes it official. A house, two kids, shared vehicles, everything. So it does happen. I do want to be married to him, but I don't want this financial obligation to hold me back the way that it holds him.
Long engagement is usually a money thing tbh. My engagement was long because we wanted to pay for everything in advance and not take on a ton of debt. Weddings are pricey! We managed to pay off everything before the ceremony, so the longer engagement was worth it for us.
By the time my fiance and I get married (2025) it will have been a five year engagement. We got engaged in 2020, and planned originally to take two years to plan the wedding. Later that year though, we had the opportunity to buy a house. We talked it through, and decided it was too good an opportunity to miss, because it would also be an improvement in life for our daughter. We knew this would set the wedding back, but we prioritized. If you know you want to marry someone, who cares if you also know it will be a while before you can financially have a wedding? The point is to declare the desire to spend the rest of your lives together. Sometimes, saving for the wedding you want takes time.
Story 1 not a psychopath, yall are being too hard on the dude ... like wtf she cheated. Had baby she wanted to pass of a child to him ... OkOP Yall are the assholes
Hey sam and john ik this might get lost on the comments but just wanted to say I hope you guys dont do audio recordings in every video. One of the reasons i subscribe to your reddit stories is because you have good to listen to, non AI voices and isnt audiually distracting. I've watched every video to date much love from the UK
I came from Fb just to comment lol. Story 3: So im a 24 yr old my partners 26 and have been in a 4-5 year engagement. The reasons we want to wait are to get our depts sorted ( so that we don't burden eachother with them), it would be nice to have enough savings (each) to purchase a house together and actually afford a wedding due to not having any family we won't get financial help and we won't be those people to ask friends to help pay ( even tho it would be something small anyway its more the honeymoon) and we would like to make sure we arent going to divorce because that is stupidity expensive for some reason, plus we dont even really care for weddings in our eyes we might as well be married. We have a child together, we have pets and we have been together 8 years this year. We are in it to the end with eachother but yet if something where to happen we dont want to have to pay to separate when that money could go towards our child.
*I proposed to my fiancée and she said "yes!"* If she was a fiancé…doesn’t that mean he has *already* proposed??🤔😭🤣 Sorry guys I’m big on semantics🤦🏾♀️🤣
Maybe it depends on the culture. Where I’m from, it’s common for couples to talk about marriage plans before anyone actually “pops the question.” I always thought it was weird to ask about wedding plans before asking if they even want to marry you. Maybe it’s less intimidating to ask if they want a big wedding instead of asking if they want you there. 😂
NTA. How can you fault him for waiting for 4 months when she kept quiet and cheated for a whole 12 months? And was going to stay quiet for decades? Plus in those 4 months you didn't factor in how long it took for paternity results to come in. He had every right to deliver the news when he wanted to. Y'all the assholes for siding with the cheater.
They are not siding with the cheating. The ex is still are horrible person. They were just saying it takes an unhealthy mind to lie and bide for 4 months pretending you love them. I never heard them say what she did was OK. Just b/c you knock on the other person it's doesn't mean you are on the other's side. This is such a problematic take at it's foundation.
I've been engaged for almost 10 years. 8 ½ years to be exact. Lol there just has never been a reason big enough to rush it. In all regards we're pretty much married, just not on paper. It works for us. Like if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Ya know?
For the story about the guy who waited until his cheating wife had her baby to dump her, idk I’m not sure if it’s so wrong to seek vengeance on someone who not only broke their vows and cheated on you but was also totally fine lying to you and was going to allow you to raise a whole ass child that isn’t yours… like yeah waiting 4 months to drop the bomb that your aware of her lies right after she gives birth is playing the long game for sure but revenge IS a fish best served cold and I think that what he did totally pales in comparison to what his lady is guilty of like if anyone has sociopathic tendencies it’s the person who cheated and got knocked up by the affair partner but still was going to play off the child as her husbands like that’s some dastardly shit right there idk why it’s considered wrong or being an asshole he could’ve done something soooo much worse like the fact that he just waited a few months until she gave birth to confess his knowledge of the situation to her seems super benign to me. Yeah he was actively seeking to make her suffer but I think he’s justified in that and I can understand why he would wanna ruin what’s supposed to be the happiest moment of her life because she ruined it for him it was supposed to be the day he welcomed his son into the world but instead he got to hold some other man’s child knowing that his wife was totally cool to play him and lead him to believe this kid is his child so that he’ll stick around and raise/provide for them. That’s some downright betrayal right there idk how anyone could blame him for wanting to rob her of her happiness in that moment the way she robbed him of his. Maybe I’m just a vengeful bitch, so be it I guess but it’s wild to me that people are saying what he did is worse than his literal wife cheating on him and being okay to lie to him and have him raise a child that isn’t his
A guy cheated on his woman with me. He was stupid enough to introduce her to me. I asked her how long they were together and then immediately told him off in front of her.
It’s a sentimental thing. The first teddy I ever bought for my daughter was what Mae it all really for me. That I had a physical thing I could hold an talk to when I wasn’t showing or feeling movement. It is that deep. He is an ass for doing it at the hospital. She wasn’t lucid. That’s not okay.
Story 3: 4 year engagement is crazy to me. IMO, one year tops to plan and get your venue, vendors, etc. These long engagements always blow my mind, it’s like they aren’t sure they are ready to actually get married which should be decided BEFORE the engagement. The only exception to the rule may be if you’re young (18-22) and are trying to save up for your big day.
The first guy is not a psycho but a heartbroken man who had been betrayed in one of the worst possible way. Plotting revenge does take time. Sure they can say the OP is an a-hole but I have no sympathy for the ex for her deception.
Bout the engagement thing. It's better to say fiance than my ~giiirrrlll friend ~ there's just something thats gruff. Plus it's like the married part but without the regrets of marriage
Marriage isn't important for my partner and I. Despite that he proposed because it was the clearest way to communicate his devotion to our relationship, specifically for our extended family who for religious reasons believes is the most natural course. Even though there are no persistent Happy marriages in either of our fams. 😂 so we've technically been engaged for 6 years, together for 10 maybe we'll have the party at 20.
OK, I've seen a lot of comments here basically saying what a great revenge OP got in story 1 and Sam is completely wrong, which is very revenge reddit pilled posting. I am going to first say that OP's ex was a absolutely terrible person and what she was going to do to OP horrendous. Do I think that breaking up after the birth was too much? Well all revenge is a psychotic without context, and what she was doing and was going to do is REALLY bad, so yeah it's probably warranted, us not really sure. If OP had been informed a weeks beforehand this really won't need more of a look. What's really the issue is OP waiting and pretending to still want to be with the ex for FOUR MONTHS. This is somewhat psychotic behavior to repress and lie this intimately for this long. I'm not going to talk about morality compared to what the Ex did, I'm just talking about mental health and mindset to be able to do this. It definitely is very worrying, regardless of the acts of the ex. The facts that people don't see this, I'm going to assume they likely read a ton of revenge stories on Reddit and don't really think of the mindset required to do more of those crazy retributions. Also to all who actually were like, yeah that's a bit cray cray, I hear yah.
@@danganryanne9499 This argument is so bad, it's completely a whataboutism. Of course the ex is horrible (I even stated this in the beginning) and could be argued that she was doing was sociopathic in a sense. I was clearly more cornered for OP as that was the focus of the post and we can listen to his thinking. I just don't like the pro-revenge comments that don't think it is a bit unhinged for the OP as well.
@@danganryanne9499 That's definitely not the reason why the OP did that. I mean he explicitly did it to hurt the ex the most that he could in OP's mind (very clear intentions in the post). So nothing I said is invalidated by that.
For the first story I agree OP is an asshole but, given what his partner did (and probably planned on hiding forever) I don’t feel very sympathetic towards her.
Sophia and John?? Oooooo I feel spoiled again with their beautiful manes and beautiful style choices. Even with John's pure ORANGE, because like an orange he's juicy n delicious Especially with Sam objectifying him.
1st story: as someone who has never cheated on anyone, I think it's super messed up for people to cheat. But its also really messed up to wait until after your wife gives birth for those 4 months after knowing. If you think about it she would be vulnerable for post partum depression statistically as well. So he wouldn't just be harming his wife but also the baby, since she is really the sole caretaker now. Luckily the bio father will step in which is to me the only good thing abt this story. Anyways, love u guys!!
I'm sorry I don't agree with the woman's actions in the first story but I also don't agree with the retaliation in a woman's most vulnerable time while she's pregnant is so many things could have gone wrong from her getting postpart and depression after the pregnancy from her killing herself to even killing the child I'm sorry but I'm going to say that was an a-hole move on your part other than that everyone else was the a-hole.
Story 1 - sounds like two very immature passive-aggressive adults with issues had a baby… . He could’ve handled this better, sure, but she also had plenty of opportunities to come clean and do the right thing. She wasn’t thinking about what’s best for the baby, which is pretty scary too. I I’m glad Bryan chose to be the adult and say something. Expecting him not to be involved like an honorary donor or something is selfish and unrealistic.
I think hes an asshole and that is kinda psych behavior, HOWEVER severe stress during pregnancy can really fuck up the baby, so it IS better for the baby that he waited to do that. But that wasn't his intention so idk if he deserves points for that
Idk why everyone thinks op #1 is in the right that’s insane I absolutely agree the wife is just as bad for keeping it a secret and about to have him raising a child that wasn’t his without him knowing but for him to go all the way to the birth and even be there AS she gave birth when she needs to be focused on the baby not a breakup is seriously deranged he knew that he would be throwing her off of being a mother it’s disgusting on both ends but he should’ve left a lot sooner. 😅
![Kodak Black - Catch Fire [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A4ch-olIuZo/mqdefault.jpg)
OP1 got lot of hate for pretending for 4 months while his ex was pretending for an entire year and planning on fooling him to raise another man's kid. She is the psychopath in this story.
But he doubled down and sunk down to her level so he is just as bad in my opinion.
The same way if a girl was SA'd she wouldn't then go and SA the person who did it to her to get even. Or if somebody is murdered you don't then murder to get back at the person, you call the cops and you put them in prison for the rest of their life. You have to rise above the bullshit and stay above the bullshit otherwise you're just more of the bullshit that you hate. You become the very thing that you don't like and the very thing that hurt you. Becoming more of the problem doesn't make the problem cancel itself out like math it's not a negative times a negative equals a positive here folks
@@shadowykitty5588no he didn't. I mean if he's into self torture than fine. Remember she doesn't really care, she was just sad one of her options left and that was bad for her ego, cos she turned back to Brian asap anyway (and got rejected lol). In my opinion she's a sad woman, even if OP was not a good partner, she could have, you know, communicated with him instead of CHEATING
@@shadowykitty5588"so he is just as bad" bruh she's the one that cheated. She is definitely worse.
That’s what I was thinking!! A whole freaking of cheating and then trying to pass the baby as his… Why is he considered a psychopath?
Story 1: I would hesitate to call the guy a psychopath you think 4 months is along time to hide something the girl hid hear relationship for a a WHOLE YEAR
And would have for the rest of his life
Story 1: I honestly think OP went a little light on his cheating ex. She was about to pass a kid along as his. Years of bonding and betrayal that would have been, thankfully avoided. I honestly would have been much more cruel. He isn't an a**hole for what he did imo. He pretty much just told her that he knew and bounced. He could have done so much more, so much worse but went along with a simple "I know and you're on your own, bye". He isn't a psychopath. Just hurt and straightforward with his simple revenge.
Story 1 - NTA. I think Sam & John are being overly harsh on OP. They seem to have glossed over the fact that when he was initially talking to Bryan, he said OP's wife's desire to keep this secret was due to not wanting to lose her perfect life, and to avoid Brian having to raise the child. No mention of not wanting to hurt OP, or the usual "this would destroy him" stuff. Brian comes across as a decent guy as he, at least, does appear to have a conscience, and it looks this never sat right with him, hence him finding OP.
I think you're a bit quick to label OP a psychopath. For one, it's a medical diagnosis. Secondly, while the 4 month wait and telling the wife on birth day may look like the actions of a psychopath, other things described go against that diagnosis (he doesn't want to be involved, but genuinely wishes Brian and the kid well for the future).
Yes, a medical diagnosis that seems accurate. Man's entire life was blown up and he had such little feeling over it, other than his own seething anger, that he was able to suppress his feelings for 4 months just to get revenge when she was most vulnerable. Insane. Absolutely insane. I can't imagine why she would have cheated. He sounds emotionally unsafe. Many women with guys like that seek out a more emotionally stable partner, but she likely felt like she couldn't leave.
@minxymoo2325 So you're just going to ignore the fact that SHE was the one pretending for an entire year that the baby was his because she wanted to stay with him and keep her "perfect" life and that's all she cared about? i think she's more insane for that. people do react with anger at being lied to, believe it or not. you trying to paint the op out like this solely because he's a man and turning a blind eye to what she did and trying to justify her cheating is just nasty.
Aw! The small part about actually proposing when the birth happened, changes the whole view on the situation. NTA you can’t call the guy a psycho when she was gonna go through the whole 18 years acting he’s the father!
I mean...two wrongs don't make a right. Being a psycho to an A-Hole is still being a psycho. It was a clear example of an Everyone Sucks Here situation.
@@davidharshman7645 he might be an asshole to others but he was hurt & she had no regard to his feelings why should he. I get it was mean but how long would she go on with the lie?
Its crazy that he's being called a psycho. He was still nice to her and the other guy. He got a little revenge and suddenly he's crazy?
yeah and she tried to pass off this kid as his. that is a terrible thing to do and the truly psychopathic behavior. he pretended for a few months. she pretended for a year would have forever.
Am I the only one who thinks cheating should be against the law?
Hes more like a masochist 😮
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING. He’s a dude who’s whole life got blown up… I would have done way more😂
Its rather the 4 months of pretending that he knows nothing and is happily in love - part
What a weird double standard. She cheated on him and was fully willing to make him raise a child that wasn't his so she could keep her "perfect life" but *he's* the psychopath?! She was willing to use this guy as a tool for the rest of his life, but *he's* the psychopath?! She saw him as nothing but an ATM, but he's the psychopath?!?! He wanted revenge for being used but apparently he's not allowed to have even that little satisfaction...
Story 1: Sam, I feel like you have a tendency to always side with the cheater lol this man’s life was destroyed and you’re like “He’s the psychopath” lol I think he’s justified. NTA LOL I feel turnabout is fair play.
Seriously. Dude was happy about being a dad and thought he was the father for 6 fucking months. HALF A YEAR! Plus the time he spent with his ex. That was a huge betrayal of his trust, I totally understand what he did. I don't agree with it, but I still don't blame him, but that doesn't mean he's a psychopath.
THIS literally every time
It’s so weird that he always sides with the cheater in these stories.. especially because he’s talked at length about the trust issues he has because one of his girlfriends in highschool cheated on him(🙄) like I would assume someone who’s been cheated on and wasnt a cheater themselves to be on the side of the person who’s been cheated on but for some reason he always seems to lean in favor of the person doing the dirt behind their partners back… super odd
While he said he wanted to inflict the most pain possible by waiting, what he did was best for the baby because if she got stressed during pregnancy it could affect the baby, as a side note!
Story 1: NTA.... He just likes the long game of exacting that sweet sweet revenge
I don't think story 1 guy was a psycho. He basically supported a woman who betrayed him until her baby was born. He made sure the baby had a father figure to take care of him. He basically supported he up until it was time to sign the birth certificate. Also telling her he was planning on leaving beforehand could have stressed her out and harmed the baby, so whatever his intentions may have been, he actually showed his ex and the baby far more compassion than anyone in this story showed him. Painting him as the worst person in the story is wild.
There can be many reasons for long engagements: saving money, venue availability, size of families/guest list, general planning (a ton goes into weddings, including a lot of things you don’t think of) etc. COVID also backed up weddings considerably, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some venues and vendors have a 2+ year waiting list still
If a women wanted to hurt their man for cheating, it would be empowering. Good for him.
Also, the baby could have been affected by stress if he did it during the pregnancy.
SO op is a bad person for being cheated on by somebody who was supposed to love him and then tried to trap him with a baby that wasnt his and she knew he was wasnt the father
He did not lie .. Lol SHE DID ... SHE LITERALLY STEPPED OUT ON HIM !! IT’S CALLED SWEET REVENGE . SHE HURT HIM DEEPLY ACTING LIKE IT WAS HIS CHILD SO HE STILL SUPPORTED HER FOR 4 MONTHS AND THE CAME CLEAN ..
Yall are so soft, OP was not the AH, she cheated for a whole year, wanted to trick him with a child and you all think he's an AH for not confronting her for 4 months, after that level of betrayal he's free to deal with it however he wishes, so what if it was psychological, she deserved no pity
Story one nah she was gonna never tell him
Story 2: OP should tell the wife and then tell her friends in a group message so everyone knows what happened at once. I would apologize for not telling my friends earlier but explain of was embarrassed by my own naïveté and didn’t want to admit I was tricked and broken hearted.
first story nta she went behind his back for a year and was just gonna make him believe he was this kids dad.honestly waiting 4 months to hurt her with that is karma, fuck around and find out
Sams opinion to story one just kind of irked me I feel like Sam just spills out random shit and doesn’t realize it could be insensitive or just sounds stupid
🤔I would think that a woman pretending that someone else is her baby’s father for nine months is *way* more psychopathic than that man pretending *NOT* to know for a couple of months😒…but hey, what do I know?
Sams opinion to story one just kind of irked me I feel like Sam just spills out random crap and doesn’t realize it could be insensitive like she was gonna baby trap him And then, with the nice guy Comment like he just found out this baby isn’t his and the girl he was gonna marry cheated on him like what She was literally going to lie to him for the rest of her life idk just my opinion Granted him waiting four months to tell her that he knows in the delivery room was not the best idea Either Definitely not excusing that part Y’all definitely cutting the wife a lotta slack Four months compared to a whole lifetime is kind of a big deal I don’t agree with how he went about it, That’s all I wanted to say I love the show, but sometimes I just think Sam’s opinions are just a little silly
Someone even mentioned in another comment, what if he told her during the pregnacy and stressed her. Stress is not good for anyone much less a pregnant woman. While the girl is an asshole the baby deserves to be born healthy. The waiting might have even been better imo
Story 1: OP is not psycho-he gave her a taste of her own medicine.
Getting engaged is an expensive process especially weddings. Some people want a long engagement, have kids and wait until they’re financially stable. /fiancée and mother of four engaged nearly four years.
1st story - NTA. He is the victim. Cheater is always at fault.
I've been engaged to my partner for 3 years now, weddings are expensive long engagements to save up money for the ceremony of your dreams.
Sam.... where's your orange shirt!?
i think long term engagements are more about the promise of being together even if you don’t have the funds to get married in a years time, if that makes sense, i had friends that were engaged for five years, and then got married because at the time of engagement they didn’t have enough to throw the wedding of their dreams.
1st story, she tried to entrap him with someone's else baby. He did do something that was messed up as well. They're both the a hole.
GO RYAAAN!! Saved OP from a demon
Story 1: is just sweet revenge, and yes sometimes it takes time to ruin someone. Because it takes some time doesn't mean it is not worth it.
Me and my fiancé got engaged 2 years ago on the 27th of this month, and we haven't even entertained the idea of planning for a wedding.
Basically, my fiancé was in a major motorbike accident the year we got engaged. The Police had even closed off that entire section of the motorway because they were sure they would be dealing with a death, miraculously however my fiancé did survive with no broken bones, though he does have long term amnesia, nerve damage and some spinal damage which makes it hard for him to walk (he was hit off of his motorbike by a drunk driver at close to 100mph.)
Six months later, for the first time since his accident, he was able to bend down on one knee and propose to me on our anniversary. We already knew we would be getting married, and the accident shook him so much he wanted to propose to me and show his love if anything were to happen in the future.
Also, money 😅
We're now trying to build a business seeing as his condition has made it difficult to be employed, so we want to be financially stable before spending out on a wedding.
I've been engaged for nearly six years now. There can be so many reasons to delay marriage. For us, there's some financial things that he needs to take care of. And once we do marry, we'll probably have to file our taxes separately because of this financial obligation. Doing that will decrease how much I get back. But if we filed together, we might not get anything back. For mainly this reason, we have not gotten married. We live together as if we're married in every aspect except for the paper that makes it official. A house, two kids, shared vehicles, everything.
So it does happen. I do want to be married to him, but I don't want this financial obligation to hold me back the way that it holds him.
Long engagement is usually a money thing tbh. My engagement was long because we wanted to pay for everything in advance and not take on a ton of debt. Weddings are pricey! We managed to pay off everything before the ceremony, so the longer engagement was worth it for us.
By the time my fiance and I get married (2025) it will have been a five year engagement.
We got engaged in 2020, and planned originally to take two years to plan the wedding. Later that year though, we had the opportunity to buy a house. We talked it through, and decided it was too good an opportunity to miss, because it would also be an improvement in life for our daughter. We knew this would set the wedding back, but we prioritized.
If you know you want to marry someone, who cares if you also know it will be a while before you can financially have a wedding? The point is to declare the desire to spend the rest of your lives together. Sometimes, saving for the wedding you want takes time.
Story 1 not a psychopath, yall are being too hard on the dude ... like wtf she cheated. Had baby she wanted to pass of a child to him ... OkOP Yall are the assholes
Hey sam and john ik this might get lost on the comments but just wanted to say I hope you guys dont do audio recordings in every video. One of the reasons i subscribe to your reddit stories is because you have good to listen to, non AI voices and isnt audiually distracting. I've watched every video to date much love from the UK
Pre-ordered puntang 🤣
Story 2: the fact that both of you don't understand why he introduced his wife to his girlfriend warms my cold dead heart. He's so icky 🤢
I came from Fb just to comment lol.
Story 3: So im a 24 yr old my partners 26 and have been in a 4-5 year engagement. The reasons we want to wait are to get our depts sorted ( so that we don't burden eachother with them), it would be nice to have enough savings (each) to purchase a house together and actually afford a wedding due to not having any family we won't get financial help and we won't be those people to ask friends to help pay ( even tho it would be something small anyway its more the honeymoon) and we would like to make sure we arent going to divorce because that is stupidity expensive for some reason, plus we dont even really care for weddings in our eyes we might as well be married.
We have a child together, we have pets and we have been together 8 years this year. We are in it to the end with eachother but yet if something where to happen we dont want to have to pay to separate when that money could go towards our child.
*I proposed to my fiancée and she said "yes!"*
If she was a fiancé…doesn’t that mean he has *already* proposed??🤔😭🤣
Sorry guys I’m big on semantics🤦🏾♀️🤣
I was wondering about that too lol
Maybe it depends on the culture. Where I’m from, it’s common for couples to talk about marriage plans before anyone actually “pops the question.” I always thought it was weird to ask about wedding plans before asking if they even want to marry you. Maybe it’s less intimidating to ask if they want a big wedding instead of asking if they want you there. 😂
NTA. How can you fault him for waiting for 4 months when she kept quiet and cheated for a whole 12 months? And was going to stay quiet for decades?
Plus in those 4 months you didn't factor in how long it took for paternity results to come in. He had every right to deliver the news when he wanted to. Y'all the assholes for siding with the cheater.
They are not siding with the cheating. The ex is still are horrible person. They were just saying it takes an unhealthy mind to lie and bide for 4 months pretending you love them. I never heard them say what she did was OK. Just b/c you knock on the other person it's doesn't mean you are on the other's side. This is such a problematic take at it's foundation.
I've been engaged for almost 10 years. 8 ½ years to be exact. Lol there just has never been a reason big enough to rush it. In all regards we're pretty much married, just not on paper. It works for us. Like if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Ya know?
If you're in the states, if something happens to either one of you, the other has zero rights over medical decisions, property and assets, nothing.
For the story about the guy who waited until his cheating wife had her baby to dump her, idk I’m not sure if it’s so wrong to seek vengeance on someone who not only broke their vows and cheated on you but was also totally fine lying to you and was going to allow you to raise a whole ass child that isn’t yours… like yeah waiting 4 months to drop the bomb that your aware of her lies right after she gives birth is playing the long game for sure but revenge IS a fish best served cold and I think that what he did totally pales in comparison to what his lady is guilty of like if anyone has sociopathic tendencies it’s the person who cheated and got knocked up by the affair partner but still was going to play off the child as her husbands like that’s some dastardly shit right there idk why it’s considered wrong or being an asshole he could’ve done something soooo much worse like the fact that he just waited a few months until she gave birth to confess his knowledge of the situation to her seems super benign to me. Yeah he was actively seeking to make her suffer but I think he’s justified in that and I can understand why he would wanna ruin what’s supposed to be the happiest moment of her life because she ruined it for him it was supposed to be the day he welcomed his son into the world but instead he got to hold some other man’s child knowing that his wife was totally cool to play him and lead him to believe this kid is his child so that he’ll stick around and raise/provide for them. That’s some downright betrayal right there idk how anyone could blame him for wanting to rob her of her happiness in that moment the way she robbed him of his. Maybe I’m just a vengeful bitch, so be it I guess but it’s wild to me that people are saying what he did is worse than his literal wife cheating on him and being okay to lie to him and have him raise a child that isn’t his
A guy cheated on his woman with me. He was stupid enough to introduce her to me. I asked her how long they were together and then immediately told him off in front of her.
Story 2: almost same thing happened to me, except I didn’t find out til after 2 years! She didn’t visit during that time because of covid.
This story is a YIKES! 😮
It’s a sentimental thing. The first teddy I ever bought for my daughter was what Mae it all really for me. That I had a physical thing I could hold an talk to when I wasn’t showing or feeling movement. It is that deep.
He is an ass for doing it at the hospital. She wasn’t lucid. That’s not okay.
My husband and I got married 13 years after being engaged
Story 3: 4 year engagement is crazy to me. IMO, one year tops to plan and get your venue, vendors, etc. These long engagements always blow my mind, it’s like they aren’t sure they are ready to actually get married which should be decided BEFORE the engagement. The only exception to the rule may be if you’re young (18-22) and are trying to save up for your big day.
Nah. Get married when you want. We took 2 years…still married 8 years later.
How about 18 years of engagement? I know one case and I would bet everything they never will marry
Who are these “mutual friends” who knew this dude was married and didn’t mention anything??? Sis needs some new friends.
The first guy is not a psycho but a heartbroken man who had been betrayed in one of the worst possible way. Plotting revenge does take time. Sure they can say the OP is an a-hole but I have no sympathy for the ex for her deception.
I mean. . . She wore her poker face for a year 🤷
Me too!
Yes! Get rid of the orange shirts!
Bout the engagement thing. It's better to say fiance than my ~giiirrrlll friend ~ there's just something thats gruff.
Plus it's like the married part but without the regrets of marriage
Marriage isn't important for my partner and I. Despite that he proposed because it was the clearest way to communicate his devotion to our relationship, specifically for our extended family who for religious reasons believes is the most natural course. Even though there are no persistent Happy marriages in either of our fams. 😂 so we've technically been engaged for 6 years, together for 10 maybe we'll have the party at 20.
WOO HOO 🙌
OK, I've seen a lot of comments here basically saying what a great revenge OP got in story 1 and Sam is completely wrong, which is very revenge reddit pilled posting. I am going to first say that OP's ex was a absolutely terrible person and what she was going to do to OP horrendous. Do I think that breaking up after the birth was too much? Well all revenge is a psychotic without context, and what she was doing and was going to do is REALLY bad, so yeah it's probably warranted, us not really sure. If OP had been informed a weeks beforehand this really won't need more of a look.
What's really the issue is OP waiting and pretending to still want to be with the ex for FOUR MONTHS. This is somewhat psychotic behavior to repress and lie this intimately for this long. I'm not going to talk about morality compared to what the Ex did, I'm just talking about mental health and mindset to be able to do this. It definitely is very worrying, regardless of the acts of the ex. The facts that people don't see this, I'm going to assume they likely read a ton of revenge stories on Reddit and don't really think of the mindset required to do more of those crazy retributions.
Also to all who actually were like, yeah that's a bit cray cray, I hear yah.
Then what about the ex then? she pretended for entire year to love him, and planned to pretend for the next years after that the baby was Op's
@@danganryanne9499 This argument is so bad, it's completely a whataboutism. Of course the ex is horrible (I even stated this in the beginning) and could be argued that she was doing was sociopathic in a sense. I was clearly more cornered for OP as that was the focus of the post and we can listen to his thinking. I just don't like the pro-revenge comments that don't think it is a bit unhinged for the OP as well.
@@jboy804Imo OP did what’s best because that baby could’ve died if the ex was under a lot of stress from the breakup
@@danganryanne9499 That's definitely not the reason why the OP did that. I mean he explicitly did it to hurt the ex the most that he could in OP's mind (very clear intentions in the post). So nothing I said is invalidated by that.
@@jboy804 Okay? Ik that wasn’t apart of his intentions, I’m just saying that the amount of stress could happen would’ve put the baby in danger
lol OMG why are Sarah’s always the AH when they are in stories.
Thought you did marry and this was the honey moon did i miss understand you confirmed it a while back saying yes we did.
For the first story I agree OP is an asshole but, given what his partner did (and probably planned on hiding forever) I don’t feel very sympathetic towards her.
Im so early
Four months of torturing yourself to create more pain does seem pretty unhinged. Not that she isn't an AH, but I think they both are, at this point.
Sophia and John?? Oooooo I feel spoiled again with their beautiful manes and beautiful style choices. Even with John's pure ORANGE, because like an orange he's juicy n delicious
Especially with Sam objectifying him.
Hahaha. That made me giggle -Sam
@@OKOPShow 😎 ayyyeeeeee! Remember it's shits and giggles not giggles and shits - Servana
1st story: as someone who has never cheated on anyone, I think it's super messed up for people to cheat. But its also really messed up to wait until after your wife gives birth for those 4 months after knowing. If you think about it she would be vulnerable for post partum depression statistically as well. So he wouldn't just be harming his wife but also the baby, since she is really the sole caretaker now. Luckily the bio father will step in which is to me the only good thing abt this story.
Anyways, love u guys!!
I'm sorry I don't agree with the woman's actions in the first story but I also don't agree with the retaliation in a woman's most vulnerable time while she's pregnant is so many things could have gone wrong from her getting postpart and depression after the pregnancy from her killing herself to even killing the child I'm sorry but I'm going to say that was an a-hole move on your part other than that everyone else was the a-hole.
Story 1 - sounds like two very immature passive-aggressive adults with issues had a baby… . He could’ve handled this better, sure, but she also had plenty of opportunities to come clean and do the right thing. She wasn’t thinking about what’s best for the baby, which is pretty scary too. I I’m glad Bryan chose to be the adult and say something. Expecting him not to be involved like an honorary donor or something is selfish and unrealistic.
Everyone sucks in story 1.
The op is an asshole. How long were they together that he was waiting till she gave birth to propose. I don’t know. He seems off the rocker.
I think hes an asshole and that is kinda psych behavior, HOWEVER severe stress during pregnancy can really fuck up the baby, so it IS better for the baby that he waited to do that. But that wasn't his intention so idk if he deserves points for that
Idk why everyone thinks op #1 is in the right that’s insane I absolutely agree the wife is just as bad for keeping it a secret and about to have him raising a child that wasn’t his without him knowing but for him to go all the way to the birth and even be there AS she gave birth when she needs to be focused on the baby not a breakup is seriously deranged he knew that he would be throwing her off of being a mother it’s disgusting on both ends but he should’ve left a lot sooner. 😅