Thank you very much for this conversation about grief and the importance of not categorizing bereaved people as having pathological (complicated) grief. There is now research on the stigmatisation of bereaved people who are labelled as having Prolonged Grief Disorder (see the works by Maarten Eisma in the Netherlands). As a grief researcher and clinician since more than 20 years, I've never seen the ads of diagnosing bereaved people for their grief reactions/"symptoms": neither for them (although recognizing, acknowledging and unconditionnally accepting their suffering is, and this means that we, as therapists, can bear and regulate our own emotions with regard to death, separation and loss), nor for a differential choice in the treatment principles/strategies that I "use". While William (Bill) Worden's work on the four tasks (not stages!) of grief is essential reading, I also found the work of Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut on the Dual Process Model of Coping Bereavement (1999, 2010) a well empirically-supported framework that is very inspiring for my clinical work. It stresses, among other ideas, the importance of not addressing only grief work (for those who might be "stuck"), but also seeing/acknowledging/understanding the benefits of avoidance, even denial, but also distraction, respite, oscillating between loss- and restoration- (i.e., secundary to the loss) stressors. One size doen't fit all. This is specially true for helping and accompanying bereaved/grieving individuals. The psychotherapeutic relationship that involves a secure presence (base), that entails congruence, empathic understanding, unconditional positive regard (right rythm, neither too quick, nor too slow; intensity, neither too much, nor too few; timing, neither too early, nor too late; attunement, neither too close, nor too distant) to each client's idiosyncratic responses and (cultural, individual, interpersonal) frame of reference will be the most effective.
Interesting conversation. I'm a previously practising psychologist and a bereaved mom. Marvin's story about the lady who felt better after allowing herself to grieve makes sense from an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (and its philosophical underpinnings) perspective. I utilised ACT at work and later, it helped me grieve the loss of my son. It's all about facing head on the loss, guilt, missing, anger and any other emotion that shows itself.
Doidge in his book. 'The Brain That Changes Itself' has an example of a man who lost his mother and other significant people and places very young and who never grieved it. He grieved it in therapy in his 60's and it had a major impact on his healing.
Being pathologized and medicalized into a diagnosis following a non-fatal life-quake… well, now I’m making the final preparations to end my life. I needed time and support to grieve and I never got it. No one needs me now, so F staying alive.
Thank you very much for this conversation about grief and the importance of not categorizing bereaved people as having pathological (complicated) grief. There is now research on the stigmatisation of bereaved people who are labelled as having Prolonged Grief Disorder (see the works by Maarten Eisma in the Netherlands). As a grief researcher and clinician since more than 20 years, I've never seen the ads of diagnosing bereaved people for their grief reactions/"symptoms": neither for them (although recognizing, acknowledging and unconditionnally accepting their suffering is, and this means that we, as therapists, can bear and regulate our own emotions with regard to death, separation and loss), nor for a differential choice in the treatment principles/strategies that I "use". While William (Bill) Worden's work on the four tasks (not stages!) of grief is essential reading, I also found the work of Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut on the Dual Process Model of Coping Bereavement (1999, 2010) a well empirically-supported framework that is very inspiring for my clinical work. It stresses, among other ideas, the importance of not addressing only grief work (for those who might be "stuck"), but also seeing/acknowledging/understanding the benefits of avoidance, even denial, but also distraction, respite, oscillating between loss- and restoration- (i.e., secundary to the loss) stressors. One size doen't fit all. This is specially true for helping and accompanying bereaved/grieving individuals. The psychotherapeutic relationship that involves a secure presence (base), that entails congruence, empathic understanding, unconditional positive regard (right rythm, neither too quick, nor too slow; intensity, neither too much, nor too few; timing, neither too early, nor too late; attunement, neither too close, nor too distant) to each client's idiosyncratic responses and (cultural, individual, interpersonal) frame of reference will be the most effective.
Interesting conversation. I'm a previously practising psychologist and a bereaved mom. Marvin's story about the lady who felt better after allowing herself to grieve makes sense from an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (and its philosophical underpinnings) perspective. I utilised ACT at work and later, it helped me grieve the loss of my son. It's all about facing head on the loss, guilt, missing, anger and any other emotion that shows itself.
Thank you both for sharing this conversation. I found it very helpful.
Doidge in his book. 'The Brain That Changes Itself' has an example of a man who lost his mother and other significant people and places very young and who never grieved it. He grieved it in therapy in his 60's and it had a major impact on his healing.
If I could give this discussion five thumbs up , I would ! Thank You
Thank you!
What is DSM please!??? TIA from Uk 🇬🇧🙋♀️
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR (TM))
Being pathologized and medicalized into a diagnosis following a non-fatal life-quake… well, now I’m making the final preparations to end my life.
I needed time and support to grieve and I never got it. No one needs me now, so F staying alive.
Sorry to hear this :( Are you still with us??
I also don’t have a support system (other than my therapist and the local help line). I’m here if you want to talk.