Start the new year with purpose! Experience personalized courses on avoidants, live webinars & Q&As, and more for FREE for 7 days! attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?Ux_OR5RYcOA&el=youtube
Yassss thank you Thais, please do more secure content, we have a lot of information of what our insecurities look like😂 we need more content of how and what a secure person functions and interacts so we can learn and grow into becoming one with guidances❤
Could you please do a video on how to bring up secure kids? You brought up single parent households. I know you talk in depth about how attachment styles are formed, but I think a comprehensive video directly aimed at parents would be so valuable. As a single mum of teenagers, I'm deeply worried that it might be too late and that being single and having a couple of partners leave, has already had a negative impact. Many thanks! ❤
I want a video about "how to rewire our mind to choose the secure ones" because we all know the right partner we should choose but keep attracted to wrong people
There are a lot of videos about that on the channel, but the best approach is to enroll in the personal development school. I would recommend shadow work to start. Once you rewire your relationship to self, all that misbehavior just starts to make no sense. I wish you the best.
I'd like to thank you for uploading this video when it felt I needed it. In the last year, I've been doing a lot of self-work and a few women I'd gone on dates with in the last year presented avoidant tendancies. In my old patterning, I may have continued persuing them, but instead, I had intentionally ended those relationships, framing them as incompatibility. I have since been on the lookout for someone who appears secure, has a few similar interests, and shares my values. I've got a few positive thread to follow and that's been quite exciting! But I'm thankful for you and your work, as well as various books on Attachment that I had read in recent months. So, thank you Thais!
Thank you, this video showed me, that I am, being a FA, actually trying very hard to act secure in my relationships. It's not easy for me, but it's my goal. However, my current partner acts very hurt and resentful every time I don't fulfill his needs. He acts like him fulfilling his own needs is a big problem and I should feel bad that I "made him" do it. I'm so, so tired because of it, to be honest. He's a good man, hard-working, loves my son, but this situation and all the stupid fights we have make me so sad. Yesterday he lashed at me just because I was preoccupied with thoughts about an important event in my life and forgot to put dishes in the dishwasher... God, I just want piece.
1. Great communicator! I love words 2. Dont sleep on a bad day for me 3. Sometimes it’s easy sometimes vulnerability is hard 4. I maybe too empathetic tho 5. Yes yes yes!! Got that in spades just don’t go away ever! lol oops.
I do #2 to address things, #3 I can be vulnerable #4 I am learning my to set boundaries, # 5 I have really worked for this through therapy. I still am working on #1 The person I was in relationship of some sort with doesn’t do 2, 3 or 5. He puts everything under the rug and just cuts off or won’t apologize to work through things and disappears for 2 weeks. He calls me exhausting but I’m actually exhausted by him now and I’m slowly becoming quieter and moving on. I’m finding it now a waste of my energy trying to talk about things w/ him I have been a fearful avoidant but I’m slowly rewiring. I’m still scared but I am practicing
I definitely want to see more videos on secure attachment. So many of the conclusions I came to about navigating life seem to come back to secure attachment. Also, If like to get the opinion of the "triggered brigade." Bull dog, where you at? 😂 That said, I do need to work on positive framing. Not because I lash out at others, but because I can ramble on explaining context. This actually got me in trouble at one point in college where the professor yelled at me and I went off on him. I guess he didn't have the patience for me to explain and I didn't have the patience for his attitude. 😂 However, after I went to his office hours and threatened him with a lawsuit he got some act right and I was able to finish the class. I should've done that from the start, lol.
My last lover was fearful avoidant. We were in an on and off relationship cycle for 2 years,as usually, hobeymoon stage of the relationship was fantastic. He gone last March . Blocked me from phone. And after months he moved to other relationship. And I think after months that relationship is going exactly like the earlier pattern. His past relationships was also like push pull relationships.I feel he will come back to me and he understand about his relationship pattern and problems. (Iam anxious person not too much clingy type , but I feel anxious when he avoid , I don't irritate or chase always typically like anxious. ). Is this my imagination or intuition?. I don't know!!! Is there any possibility? He is really a emotionally fucked up man . I can't let him go, feels like I want to grow with him for both of our better version.
In push pull relationship it takes two both doing the push pull. You can have a person push you away then let them but not pull them back. In that case it just push
@@chrismaxwell1624 I never pushed or pulled him. He always do like that. During his anxious time he pushes me to him and during his avoidant phase he pulls away.
@@RitaP41you have to be vulnerable to show empathy? false. you have to be vulnerable to work through a challenge? false. we seem to have different definitions of vulnerable.
Vulnerable is very risky and can make a bad situation worse if it’s not used properly…especially for a man. Empathy is not something that is risky and doesn’t even have to be shown to others it can just be felt and then reacted with…if I’m correct then vulnerability must be shown or expressed in one way or another.
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Start the new year with purpose! Experience personalized courses on avoidants, live webinars & Q&As, and more for FREE for 7 days!
attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?Ux_OR5RYcOA&el=youtube
Yassss thank you Thais, please do more secure content, we have a lot of information of what our insecurities look like😂 we need more content of how and what a secure person functions and interacts so we can learn and grow into becoming one with guidances❤
Could you please do a video on how to bring up secure kids? You brought up single parent households. I know you talk in depth about how attachment styles are formed, but I think a comprehensive video directly aimed at parents would be so valuable.
As a single mum of teenagers, I'm deeply worried that it might be too late and that being single and having a couple of partners leave, has already had a negative impact.
Many thanks! ❤
I want a video about "how to rewire our mind to choose the secure ones" because we all know the right partner we should choose but keep attracted to wrong people
There are a lot of videos about that on the channel, but the best approach is to enroll in the personal development school. I would recommend shadow work to start. Once you rewire your relationship to self, all that misbehavior just starts to make no sense. I wish you the best.
@@malindarayallen I am now taking course about beliefs programming and emotional mastery , thank you for you recommendation I will take it too
I'd like to thank you for uploading this video when it felt I needed it. In the last year, I've been doing a lot of self-work and a few women I'd gone on dates with in the last year presented avoidant tendancies. In my old patterning, I may have continued persuing them, but instead, I had intentionally ended those relationships, framing them as incompatibility.
I have since been on the lookout for someone who appears secure, has a few similar interests, and shares my values. I've got a few positive thread to follow and that's been quite exciting!
But I'm thankful for you and your work, as well as various books on Attachment that I had read in recent months.
So, thank you Thais!
I thought I was insecure but I seem to do what you say. incredible !
I told my partner what I do need and he did the complete opposite. He's now an ex.
Thank you, this video showed me, that I am, being a FA, actually trying very hard to act secure in my relationships. It's not easy for me, but it's my goal. However, my current partner acts very hurt and resentful every time I don't fulfill his needs. He acts like him fulfilling his own needs is a big problem and I should feel bad that I "made him" do it. I'm so, so tired because of it, to be honest. He's a good man, hard-working, loves my son, but this situation and all the stupid fights we have make me so sad. Yesterday he lashed at me just because I was preoccupied with thoughts about an important event in my life and forgot to put dishes in the dishwasher... God, I just want piece.
1. Great communicator! I love words
2. Dont sleep on a bad day for me
3. Sometimes it’s easy sometimes vulnerability is hard
4. I maybe too empathetic tho
5. Yes yes yes!! Got that in spades just don’t go away ever! lol oops.
I do #2 to address things, #3 I can be vulnerable #4 I am learning my to set boundaries, # 5 I have really worked for this through therapy.
I still am working on #1
The person I was in relationship of some sort with doesn’t do 2, 3 or 5. He puts everything under the rug and just cuts off or won’t apologize to work through things and disappears for 2 weeks. He calls me exhausting but I’m actually exhausted by him now and I’m slowly becoming quieter and moving on.
I’m finding it now a waste of my energy trying to talk about things w/ him
I have been a fearful avoidant but I’m slowly rewiring. I’m still scared but I am practicing
Brilliant as always! I’ll watch this again and again. 💜✨💜
Very useful relationship tips..modelling the gold standard. Thank you
I definitely want to see more videos on secure attachment. So many of the conclusions I came to about navigating life seem to come back to secure attachment. Also, If like to get the opinion of the "triggered brigade." Bull dog, where you at? 😂
That said, I do need to work on positive framing. Not because I lash out at others, but because I can ramble on explaining context. This actually got me in trouble at one point in college where the professor yelled at me and I went off on him. I guess he didn't have the patience for me to explain and I didn't have the patience for his attitude. 😂 However, after I went to his office hours and threatened him with a lawsuit he got some act right and I was able to finish the class. I should've done that from the start, lol.
this channel rules!
Great content! Thanks ❤
I love when she says And (pause) in every video lol
My last lover was fearful avoidant. We were in an on and off relationship cycle for 2 years,as usually, hobeymoon stage of the relationship was fantastic. He gone last March . Blocked me from phone. And after months he moved to other relationship. And I think after months that relationship is going exactly like the earlier pattern. His past relationships was also like push pull relationships.I feel he will come back to me and he understand about his relationship pattern and problems. (Iam anxious person not too much clingy type , but I feel anxious when he avoid , I don't irritate or chase always typically like anxious. ). Is this my imagination or intuition?. I don't know!!! Is there any possibility? He is really a emotionally fucked up man . I can't let him go, feels like I want to grow with him for both of our better version.
In push pull relationship it takes two both doing the push pull. You can have a person push you away then let them but not pull them back. In that case it just push
@@chrismaxwell1624 I never pushed or pulled him. He always do like that. During his anxious time he pushes me to him and during his avoidant phase he pulls away.
Wish you'd use an example of healthy Coregulation for Interdependence instead of self-soothing for all the DAs in the comments.
Can someone please tell me where the needs course is? Cant find it. Thanks! ❤
Just go to the 7-day trial link. The trial includes the needs course.
I am: #1,2,3,5
Hence need work on: #4 when my emotions are violated
My past pers. is: #2 limited, 4,5
Hence needs work on: #1,2,3
Yo, Thais why did you stop talking about us fearful avoidants 😢
#1 Yes, #2 Yes, #3 no desire to, #4 yes, #5 only with certain people
Can't have 2, 4, or 5 without 3! So you only have 1.
@@RitaP41you have to be vulnerable to show empathy? false. you have to be vulnerable to work through a challenge? false. we seem to have different definitions of vulnerable.
Vulnerable is very risky and can make a bad situation worse if it’s not used properly…especially for a man.
Empathy is not something that is risky and doesn’t even have to be shown to others it can just be felt and then reacted with…if I’m correct then vulnerability must be shown or expressed in one way or another.
@@WrittenMysteriesglad today was more your speed Mysteries and have a vulnerable weekend as well.