AITA for sending a venmo request for babysitter, hotel and uber reimbursement after a dry wedding?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 4 июл 2024
- Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @dustythunder
Dusty Thunder narrates stories from Reddit, follower submissions, and other sources and provides reactions.
AITA for sending a venmo request for babysitter, hotel and uber reimbursement after a dry wedding?
bit.ly/4bQEfLM
Website - www.dusty-thunder.com/
All the Links - linktr.ee/dustythunder
Swag - dusty-thunders-swag-shop.mysp...
Spotify - open.spotify.com/show/7JrhzQr...
Jot Coffee - SAVE 20% with code DUSTY20 - jot.co/
Submit Your Story - www.dusty-thunder.com/submit-...
Dusty's Subreddit - / dustythunder
#storytime #redditstories #storyreaction #voiceover #asconscale #aita 
Развлечения
It’s crazy that alcohol is the only reason he would attend the wedding. That’s not a friend.
Exactly! No one is owed booze at a wedding nor is anyone required to list whether it would be dry or not a wet wedding. Guest are supposed to be there to celebrate the happy day, not get tipsy.
Yeah... I've been to 4 weddings in my life... Three have been wet. The last one was a BYOB (Bring your own Booze), so it was pretty dry.
*Shakes Head*
You can have fun and games without alcohol. However, it was wrong for the Bride and Groom in this story to not inform anyone it was a dry wedding on the invite themselves. Ascon 3 I think is what they deserve... but for OP to send a venmo request, during the dinner party because "If I knew there wasn't going to by any alcohol I wouldn't have come"... yeah. They are the bigger AH.
It wasn't about the alcohol. It was a case of they wouldn't of got a babysitter, hotel and uber. He probably would of driven there and back in the same day. I think it would be polite just for them to mention it to the guests
OP admitted he wouldn't have RSVPed if he knew it was dry. Basically told the couple "I only like hanging out with you when I'm drunk."
Is he seriously saying he can't enjoy an evening out with his wife without alcohol?
If you can’t have a fun night without drinking then you have a drinking problem.
@@MAJORQUEENBITCH101 I came here to say EXACTLY this!
I kinda feel bad for OP's wife. They had a kid free night at a hotel and he wasted the opportunity to turn it into a romantic date with a happy ending to go out and get drunk with his college bros. He shelled out all that money (hotel, babysitter, etc) so he could get drunk and when all was said and done he got his wish. No reason to reveal to the groom he's not really your friend, just someone to mooch off of.
As an Al-Anon, it truly bugs me how brides and grooms can throw a multi-thousand dollar party with food, drinks, entertainment, and be regarded as POOR HOSTS for not supplying alcohol.
If instead of a cake the couple wanted to serve different pies, are they morally obligated to tell everyone in advance so guests can bring their own cake? Or if all the courses were gluten or sugar free?
Alcohol is estimated to be the cause of 178,000+ deaths a year in the US. And for many Al-Anons the only hope of having family sober at an event like this is to quietly make it dry PRECISELY so guests don’t preemptively sneak booze in.
People who say they wouldn’t have come if they knew there wouldn’t be alcohol… are you a friend or just a drinking buddy? And do you have friends, or just drinking buddies? Take away the booze and find out.
For me its thats its OPs mentality that this was supposed to be *his* night out sponsored by the wedding party.
Like he still went out and had drinks with buddies and got his night out, but is still offended he couldn't get drinks at the reception.
This exactly.
We went to a very long dry wedding and we did not know in advance that it was dry. Similar situation where the venue didn’t allow it. I’m not a big drinker but it was such a long day and a drink would have been well placed. We ended up getting alcohol and drinking in turns outside. The Venmo request is super rude unless sent as a good ribbing.
Yeah was gonna say - weddings are long days and sometimes having a drink helps with Stamina !
I don't get why you need alcohol to have fun. It's kind of sad
I feel like they should have said there would be no booze. But dude it’s one night and they didn’t make you drop a bunch of money on stuff. OP sounds like they have a drinking problem. OP is an ascon 2 if not a 1.
ESH. If your wedding is themed, dry, child-free, or something else out of the ordinary, it's common curtesy to tell people. But throwing a temper tantrum and sending the groom a bill for your expenditures is ridiculous. Also, if you are only going to a function for free booze, there are cheaper alternatives.
OP's berating and charging his friend (the groom) because his (OP's) expectations and assumptions weren't met. The audacity to expect a bride and groom to run their wedding and reception plans by him for approval to garner his RSVPing and attendance at *their* wedding. His intolerable, immature behavior with the entire Venmo thing is insulting, greedy and vindictive. The married couple will remember this guy's immaturity and selfishness long after he will remember it himself. His actions are purely self serving and reek of vindictiveness for a perceived slight. He took it personally that there was no alcohol at the wedding: as if bride/groom did it just to annoy him. His Venmo behavior was a child's temper tantrum after not getting his own way at someone else's wedding! He wouldn't have RSVP'd if he had known it was a dry wedding? What makes him think he's so special he's deserving of being told anything at all about their venue? It isn't any of his concern and they don't need his seal of approval to do what they want with their event. The entitlement and resulting snit when it wasn't the way he ASSumed it would be is suffocating. So his friendship with the groom is predicated on the groom supplying alcohol for OP to over indulge himself under the guise of actually being happy that his friend found the love of his life. What a tool. That's a friendship I would reconsider deeply. And if he's so pathetic as to bemoan the money he spent pampering his wife for once with a babysitter, hotel stay and an Uber to give her a break from her daily grind, his behavior is all the more shameful. I hope bride and groom go NC with this guy and don't even consider his demands.
We had a dry wedding. Then again, my husband and I are not drinkers. But I have family members who do drink, but not being a drinker, I wasn’t about to deal with drunk people and the one person I remember making a comment about it, but she still came and didn’t ask me to pay her anything for not having alcohol. Everyone still had a great time. If you’re going to have a dry wedding, and this applies any time you don’t drink, it’s no one else’s business why, but it’s not a bad idea to give people a heads up when hosting a dry gathering.
I dunno, I live with an alcoholic and someone who will binge and can't control himself while drinking. By contrast, my partner and I rarely ever drink at all; our families drink more than enough for both of us.
We plan on having alcohol at our wedding for the sake of our extended families, but we'll be watching our heavy drinking family members like hawks, ready to cut them off.
I would not mind a dry wedding at all. If you can't have fun without alcohol, there's a problem that you need to work on, because you should not need a drug (which alcohol is) to enjoy yourself. That's not a good sign. OP is absolutely, without a doubt, a huge asshole who needs to get his shit together.
The wife's family including alcoholics is MORE THAN ENOUGH of a reason for a dry event. The alcoholic in my household isn't going to be there, which is the only reason I feel okay having drinks available.
You don't put an addict in a room with their drug of choice and expect things to turn out okay, you just don't. That is not a loving thing to do, and I applaud them for taking that into account.
Not that I automatically judge people who drink; I don't. Heck, I even brewed my own alcohol to give away as gifts until the alcoholic relative moved in with us during the pandemic. I'm all for enjoying a glass now and then. But you shouldn't NEED it to enjoy yourself.
If you need alcohol to have a good time, then OP needs to seek help.
So I am a recovered alcoholic celebrating 30 years this year and I will be having a wedding in the next few years. It probably won't be dry, but will be light and of course communicated. You have to communicate if it's not the norm.
YTA! IMO if you can't have a good time going out without alcohol, maybe you too have a problem. Should the couple have made clear the wedding would be dry? Perhaps, but why would you automatically assume it would be wet? I find it telling you had a couple of drinks BEFORE attending the wedding.
As someone who had a dry wedding (I get extremely anxious and panicky around ppl drinking and didnt want to have those feelings on my wedding day). I never made it known that it was going to be dry but everyone who knew us knew it would be dry. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves we had smash bros and Mario kart instead of a dance (we are huge gamers) and everyone that I've talked to absolutely loved our wedding. It was also on Friday the 13th with a hand fasting and I had a red and black wedding dress so it was definitely a unique wedding but no one cared that it was dry and respected our choices!
We also had custom mocktails in place of alcohol as well.
It always baffles me how alcohol drinkers can never have fun without alcohol.
I once was at a wet wedding and chose not to drink to support someone who’s in recovery. And guess what…I still had fun! Do I enjoy drinking at weddings? Yes. Do I need to drink to enjoy the wedding? No. Because you know why I’m there? To celebrate the happy couple! OP basically just told his friend he wasn’t at the wedding for him (the friend), he was there for the booze
Why does everyone need alcohol when it’s a celebration? And is it the bride and grooms fault you cant go out and party so often? No, if you’re a good friend you have fun no matter if you can drink or not. YTA
If the question was "aita for being annoyed that my friend had a dry wedding and didn't tell us ahead of time" then I think we could be pretty close to unanimous on NTA. But asking him to pay for you to attend because there wasn't alcohol? Actually sending a venmo request and you were serious? Imagine explaining to people why the friendship broke up. Wouldn't you feel stupid saying the words out loud? " We aren't friends because he wouldn't send me money when I got butt hurt that his wedding didn't have alcohol and I had to pay for my night out and didn't get my way ." How are you not embarrassed with yourself? How did you think that was okay?
I think the alcohol makes it less socially awkward at a wedding but good grief if it’s a deal breaker that’s terrible
When people are parents, they are not many opportunities to have drinks at home. I do not believe that OP has a drinking problem: instead, I see it that he saw it as an opportunity to let his hair down and have some drinks because he can't do it that often. Should he have asked was it dry or not? Yes. Is he an AH? Definitely, and the groom was right to call him AH.
OP is allowed to be disappointed, but sending a Venmo request is a d*ck move. Maybe the friend should have mentioned it was a dry wedding on the invite. But also, the fixation so many people have on “needing” to drink at social events seems really problematic to me.
If you absolutely HAVE to drink, go to a liquor store and get something to drink. What is people's deal with felling obligated to be provided with alcohol?
He …. got a hotel for a wedding that was only 45 minutes away? I get wanting to make it a fun weekend but it’s not on the bride and groom to provide that experience for them.
So I've been to a few dry weddings, some I was aware of and some I was not. Had fun at all of them. You never know what's going to happen or not at weddings. Found out reasons behind a few of those. Bride and groom recovering alcoholics, alcoholic families that get nuts when drunk or really mean..or parties get too out of hand and the bride and groom didn't want the stress...
I've been to many dry weddings. No mention that it was a dry wedding and no one expected it to be wet. You really can't go to one wedding without getting sloshed? You're there to celebrate your friends' marriage, not get smashed.
It’s pathetic that people “can’t have fun” without alcohol.
If you can’t celebrate your friends marriage and have fun with them without alcohol, then that’s sad. I would even question your relationship to alcohol if you need it that badly. I’ve been to so many dry weddings and had a blast, because I loved them and it was well-planed with games and shows and happiness.
THAT WOUKD HAVE NEGATED THE POINT OF THE DDY WEDDONG IN THIS CASE! HALF THE FAMILY IS RECOVERING ADDICTS! HOW DO YOU EXPECT THAT TO WORK OUT?! SOMEONE IS GONNA END IN JAIL THATS HOW.
He would care if that caused his new family to relapse. 😠
OP is right that when anticipating alcohol consumption you'll pay for a room (to recover from hangover), require babysitters (so your children are safe while you're incapacitated), and an Uber (so you aren't driving while under the influence).
If the celebration is alcohol free, then its unlikely you'll need a room (especially if the event is over the same day), you may not need babysitters or at least, for not as long, and you're able to drive safely.
However, OP handled this situation in the worst way possible. You don't invoice the groom for your expenses, nor do you offer such a flimsy excuse as something akin to "your wedding was dry which sucks so pay me."
Sure, talk to the groom about it, but in private and from the perspective of figuring out where the communication breakdown occurred and how this put you in a bind (or at least, some discomfort).
Be sympathetic when they mention former alcoholic guests were in attendance. Emphasize how you would've liked to have known ahead of time so your expectations could better line up with the mood of the occasion.
Lastly, mention how you feel embarrassed that you weren't appropriately prepared. Either the groom will agree that notification of changes such as a "dry wedding" is necessary for guests, or at the very least, sympathize with OP's feeling of embarrassment.
This route may not change the groom's mind regarding compensation, but at least he'll understand how OP feels without being placed on the defensive.
Op is entitled AH!!!
@@testaccount01336 read the whole comment before disagreeing with someone who agrees with you.
Just because you may need to drink to have fun, does not mean everyone around you is having fun seeing you like that. Bad things happen when people get drunk. The couple is responsible for everyone's safety, and on a night like a wedding it is hard to control what happens.
For good security, and transportation, to deal with all the drunks it costs a lot of money, and many couples can not afford that. Locations that do not allow drinking is probably because something happened in the past, and the site does not want to deal with that kind of situation again.
if you can't go to a wedding and not be fine without alcohol, you have a major problem. You don't need alcohol to have fun.
Bro, if you have an expectation of alcohol at a social event, you're an alcoholic.
Tell me you're an alcoholic without telling me you are an alcoholic.
Wow! You need alcohol to have fun? How sad for anyone with this mind set.
Wow. He is incredibly entitled, weird, and rude. An actual “friend” would just go drinking afterwards.
DISAGREE with Tony! Dry wedding isn't a bad move.
I got married age 20, we're nondrinkers. Had a dry wedding. Dad and uncles bought flasks (which was funny 😂) didn't bother us or guests one bit.
Let's be adults, if you go to a wedding it's to celebrate the couple. To be clear, bring a flask!!! If alcohol is so important to you!
And agree get a cooler and keep it in the car it'll add to the fun of the evening.
(still married 22 years later... Still non drinkers 😉)
It would of been nice of being told up front.
Alcohol does not equate fun! Point blank period!
Yep,he is. If this is a major reason to attend ,then that's alittle sad. Sorry Tony
My wedding was dry because we had it in a park
On one hand, it's a sad reality that many people go to weddings for the open bar, so it's a faux pas on the couple's part for not telling their guests it would be dry, but it isn't unforgivable. On the other, to say that he wouldn't have gone even for the ceremony because there was no liquor makes OP an asshole. OP and his wife even pregamed with a few cocktails, and if they wanted to enjoy their time without the kids, who's to say they couldn't have gone out for drinks after the wedding? But OP chose to spend that money on the wedding, so for him to say "yeah, I'm gonna need reimbursement" to his "friend," that's an ascon 2 offense, at minimum.
YTA. My wedding wedding was a dry wedding because my mother-in-law was an alcoholic. However, we made it known on the invites that it was going to be a dry wedding. That didn’t stop my in-laws from asking us to open up the bar. Which by the time of the wedding was not allowed because we would’ve had to pay for a bartender in advance. Either way we didn’t open the bar. No one else in the party except for mine now Husband’s parents were drinkers.
If the presence or absence of alcohol is the deal breaker for if you attend you’re not attending the wedding for the right reasons. Stay home and save them the cost of what it would have taken to feed you or let them have the cake you don’t deserve. A wedding is for the bride and groom not a grand party to please every guest. It was dry because family members struggled with alcohol addiction and instead of understanding their struggle all OP could do was whine about their own fun. OP is an A1 for the Venmo and caring more about their entertainment than someone else’s alcohol addiction problem.
I went to a wedding where the brides side were alcoholics but it wasn’t a dry wedding…the behavior of the alcoholics and the people who just drink extra when it’s a wedding was so gross that both my brother and I looked at each other and said we’d eventually have limited alcohol at our weddings- champagne and wine for toasts but cash bar for anything else. No one could have fun due to the behavior of the people who drank a lot and since we’d been to a lot of weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs where there wasn’t alcohol or it was limited before the dancing started and everyone still had fun we had no need for alcohol to be a huge feature. Granted neither of us have yet gotten married but I am still baffled people can’t have fun without it. Maybe I just know more fun people who don’t need it to let loose and dance and celebrate.
Didn't know alcoho I was seen as a default
OP should seek help
Groom shouldve probably told people, but OP should have asked before booking a room & a babysitter and an uber. I mean, at least ask "is it open bar or cash bar?" if free booze is that important to you. I agree that weddings are boring af, but you're there to support a friend. If you just wanted a night out to party, then you could have done that and just sent a gift to the wedding instead of attending. But you wanted *free* booze. And you're mad because you had to pay for your booze as well as the other things. When all you had to do was ask a simple question before making your assumptions and subsequent plans & you'd have saved yourself a lot of money (and maybe a friendship).
But who asks if there will be alcohol? Ppl even put on the invite if you have to pay for drinks.
@@testaccount01336 If I care about XYZ at an event, enough for the presence or absence of XYZ to dictate whether or not I can have a good time, whether or not I will spend extra money on accommodations and other things, I ask about XYZ. 🤷🏼♀️ Sure, it could've been on the invite and probably should've, but maybe they didn't put it out of respect for the same alcoholics that made them have a dry bar.
I’m in two minds about this - sending the venmo request was rude no doubt about that. On one hand if I was going to a wedding - I’d be pure buzzing for a drink and a dance I’d be disappointed if I got there and found out it was dry . On the other hand - it’s not your circus not your monkey , if the couple wants a dry wedding they can have a dry wedding. But I am Scottish so the concept of a dry wedding is frankly quite bizarre to me and I know Americans can be dead weird and uptight about Alcohol
Wedding groom and wife have final say ! They don’t have to tell you it’s not a requirement. If you absolutely 💯 need alcohol to have fun then might I suggest going to AA.
The couple should send a copy of the venmo request, and OP's original response, along with AA's info not only to OP, but to OP's wife.. ask her if she understands that her husband can't have a good time with out with her unless he's drinking. Maybe send her some alanon info? the contact # for a divorce attorney and then block them both. IF YOU MUST HAVE ALCOHOL TO HAVE A GOOD TIME, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND THOSE THAT DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND YOU.. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.
Tiny sparks, then you have a problem. If you can't have fun without alcohol, you need to seek help. That's not normal. Im not being a troll. Im being serious. Please seek help while it'll be easier to manage instead of waitong till its an actual problem. I just had an alcoholic in my house, and he put us all in danger because he took that idea to the extreme. He ended up in jail, and the only reason i found out is cause i filed a missing person report. I was terrified he was dead somewhere. Just turns out he lied to us again.
💙❤️🧡
Oh so the alchohol is a reward for being there for your friends happiest moment of their lives? I thought the reward was BEING ALLOWED TO BE THERE. A group of drunk people does not sound like fun. It sounds like a threat. I would feel like i was in danger, especially if the majority of drunk people were men. Alchohol has a huge potential to make people violent. No thank you.
He got a hotel to avoid driving 45 minutes? He's an asshole and shouldn't have sent an uber request but I kinda get why the hotel was a waste if there wasn't alcohol.
YTA. Tell your friends you hate them unless you're shnockered without telling them you hate them unless you're shnockered. Don't go to a wedding if you're only there for the booze.
You should be going to the wedding cause they are family or friends not because you get free alcohol. OP sounds like an alcoholic. I would have a dry wedding and then I would know who really wants to be there to celebrate this new chapter of life.
I’m sorry but other peoples wedding are not about you, whether you’re a MIL, MOH or Guest. It’s about the couple and a celebration of love. You’re an AC1 when you wrecked a nice night out with your wife while upsetting another persons wedding night all because you couldn’t get drunk. Like JC hit up a meeting if drinking has this much power over you.
OP is Ascon 1 period. Complete dick move on his part. It's the equivalent to throwing a temper tantrum like a 3 year old child because you didn't get your way. Shame on OP.
I do think it should have been stated on the invitation to manage people's expectations as people generally don't expect a dry wedding. IMO that was a small mistep on the couple's part.
They had family whom are recovering alcoholics and made a decision to be respectful to them. Their wedding, their choice. PERIOD.
BTW, I'm a bartender and have seen a lot go wrong both at weddings and bars I've worked at all in the name of "having a good time".
It sounds like OP went for the alcohol and not for the friends.
Oh and don't bring drunks around alcoholics.
It is NOT DEFAULT! Why would you ever think it's the default? If it was the default alcohol would be free or at least closer to the price of a soda pop. Alchohol is expensive and yall need help. Like literally. Seek addiction help, op.
Why is alchohol supposed to be a given? I would be more surprised if they did have alchohol after not mentioning it. Alchohol is not required to have a good time, and it's not a given at any event. Personally, I would never have thought to mention alchohol or think that my my guests are expecting it. Yall are fucking weird about it. My family just never ever put any emphasis on alchohol (except to be careful with drinking since we are super Irish and my grandma didn't want us to turn into drunks). Even the matriarch of the family would have ONE glass of a weak wine any time she "drank." Maybe yall have a problem? Get help. This is not normal. Also alchohol is expensive. Why would you want a host to spend money on it when they are already spending so much on the event itself? Were you planning on paying for your alcohol, and if so, why? It's EXPENSIVE! Yall are fucking weird for not being able to have a good time without it.
I Don't agree with these comments. Enjoying alcohol and its effects does not make you an alcoholic.
Also. Booking a hotel room is not just for out of towners. Some people use it because they dont want to drive an hour home or take an uber that long. The hotel is usually a few miles away
He is an entitled AH!!!!
@@willreviewsketo I think people are more focusing on OP’s declaration that if he had known there wouldn’t be alcohol, he wouldn’t have gone to the wedding at all. This more than implicitly suggests he was really only going for the assumed open bar, which is indicative of more than just enjoying alcohol.
Let’s switch it up a bit… I’m invited to my friend’s birthday dinner. I LOVE cake, and before heading over I have several slices at home. I get to the party, and there on the table is the birthday… pie. Not cake, but PIE a La Mode.
I later tell my friend quite seriously that she should’ve TOLD ALL OF US there wasn’t going to be any cake, it was therefore a waste of an evening, and if I had known, I wouldn’t have bothered coming at all because who throws a birthday party and doesn’t supply any cake?! Party sucks, she’s the worst, and I deserve my evening back.
We are all defenders of Cake on this channel. HOWEVER… I think it would be more than reasonable for people to suggest my behavior to my friend was super rude, and approached Cake in an obsessed, unhealthy way, possibly even indicative of an eating disorder.
Hoping this differentiation and alt example helps?
@testaccount01336 he is. I'm not saying that he isn't. Asking the couple for the money for his Uber and hotel is unhinged. What I am saying is that being upset about no alcohol when that is expected. It is a valid feeling. It sucks to learn that because of one person or a couple, your right to consume what you want has been taken away.
Also, why couldn't that be on the invitation? Do you know why? Because a lot of people would reply no. Or ask the question, "Can we drink in the parking lot?" The bride and groom wanted a full wedding and chose not to tell on purpose so everybody would come.
I have been to a dry wedding. I have never seen so little people on a dance floor. The only ones on it were children and the super social people. Everybody else kinda just stayed at their tables. Also, people left early because. They ate saw the wedding and were bored. The reception was supposed to be 5 hours. It was over in about 4 because out of 200 people. 20 were left.
@@willreviewsketo My niece had a wet wedding and there were still nobody on the dance floor. The DJ was a friend of the couple who played the music they wanted AND IT SUCKED TO DANCE TO!! Apparently being drunk wasn't enough to get people up to dance (the exception being the groom's sister who danced around the room at the end of the evening, while everyone else was cleaning up. There was no music playing at that point so I guess her mental playlist kept her going).
@kelseyregank-drawproductio9510 im not saying he isn't an asshole and his behavior is unhinged. It absolutely is and is atrocious. My point is that receptions are expected to have certain standards. "Cocktail/ appetizer hour" for one. Dinner, dessert, dancing and an open bar. All that are reception standards. If there is gonna be one missing. It should be mentioned beforehand.
NTA, if they had known a head of time, they would have done things differently.
1. No need for a hotel
2. No need to pay a babysitter for 2 days
3. No need for Uber so they don't drive drunk.
It's not about being dry. It's about not being told it was dry.
people should be honest, it just a excuse to get drunk and demand free alcohol. Op and his are full of crap. 45 minutes away and needs a hotel and babysitter, FOR TWO DAYS.
There was no need for any of that because OP said he would not have come to the wedding if he knew ahead of time that there was no alcohol.
@@hrobinson9701 That called showing you're true self. You're not going to for them. They just wanted a BS excuse to get drunk and act like they're not adults. Op told on himself. He when thier buzzed.
Why do people always assume there will be alcohol at weddings? Many people do have alcohol, but not everyone. It alcohol is the deciding factor, then maybe someone isn’t going to the wedding as a friend, just for the alcohol.
Yup you bring your own bar to a dry wedding