1. You can take a compliment. 2. You're not overly nice. Not too polite. Not too available. 3. You're not trying to prove yourself. 4. You speak up in groups. 5. You can say no. 6. You're comfortable alone. 7. You feel good about yourself because of who you are ❤.
Exactly! And I am finally realizing that I was more of a people pleaser than a kind person, not saying I'm not kind, but I definitely was a people pleaser.
As an introvert, who is also on the quiet side.. Some people think of me as an arrogant, intimidating person and some tell me to be more confident.. Meanwhile I'm just minding my own business.. I think most people equate 'confidence' to dominant/assertive and outgoing nature.
True. Confidence can be quiet and you don’t feel the need to say “I’m confident” either. Some people who are loud are trying to overcompensate too. Confidence shows in different ways.
I agree! There's a book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (audiobook on Spotify!) and this book helped me understand how important introverts are in our society. We all have value!
True, others think that because people are so quiet we are shy, I just don't waste my time speaking to idiots when I can have a more intelligent conversation with myself, or a non-living object if it gets to that point.
yeah i'm quite quiet and as a kid, some adults said i'd be off-putting or could come across in a way that i'm not, but...i was just existing🤷🏾♀️ not bothering people or being in their business. but i also had genuine friendships and was acquainted with many people so like?? the heck were they on about? moral of the story: some people are just wrong and being dumb. don't dumb yourself down.
Facts!! I am very quiet in my school and I don't communicate with anyone so some girls in my class has complaint to my teachers that I am very rude and cold..like girl-?...
As a recovering people pleaser, I have been working on this exact thing for the past year or so. I’ve made leaps and bounds of progress with my self worth, starting with recognizing and then banishing negative self talk (turns out, those weren’t even my own thoughts, but words said to me that I had internalized). But it’s a journey. Those reflexive “muscles” of not taking compliments well - and saying sorry - are oh so strong! It takes time.
Oh, and it takes practice! This video is exactly the reminder I needed to check in with my mental health and self image to make sure everything is still healthy.
what really hurts me is it just sounds like i've always been confident at a young age, i've just had way too many close nasty family members who kept perceiving me in such a judgmental way growing up that i thought it meant i was doing wrong when it really wasn't about me at all...
You know, I'm starting to think that is my story as well. I always thought something was wrong with me but once I'm by myself, I'm confident in my decisions. It's just until I get outside input (that I don't even ask for) that I second guess myself.
Saying no is even more difficult with family. They don't understand that sometimes saying no is not hating them, but loving ourselves and they take it personally.
I used to be the friend who was always available and even sacrificed my sleep for others, but it was never reciprocal. Not because my friends were bad, they just valued their time more. When I realized I could still be a good person and put myself first, my confidence skyrocketed.
You are not the only one here I was also like this..I often stayed up at night and even if I had a test or exam the next day I would be playing games with them just to appear "nice" and a fun loving person....
I needed to hear this comment thank u❤❤ I'm just now coming out of thinking I'm a bad person for having to cancel things I should of never put in my over booked schedule. It's okay to say no. No is an option no one's gonna "eat you".
I used to be overly nice, like really too nice, too kind. And a lot of people told me that, but I didn’t care I just wanted to be really kind, after some time I realised that I was unintentionally people-pleasing. I still wanna be really kind to people but I don’t wanna people please, they should respect me and not use (I nearly got used once (but the girls in my class protected me and after a week I was really really really happy and grateful that they stopped me from getting used).
I’ve never realized how confident I am until I went to this STEM camp. One of my friends mentioned how she thought I look very “scary”, she meant that I was kind of intimidating, but decided to say scary lol. Anyways, I had been called scary/intimidating before then, but had never asked what they meant. I thought it was just cause I have an rbf, but after asking other people it turns out that a lot of my friends I made there were pretty intimidated by me because of how confident I seemed. I don’t know, I still find it funny how I can be intimidating when I’m relatively quiet, and kind of just goofy around people I know.
I was the same way growing up. After getting to know me better multiple people have told me they thought I was really intimidating or scary when they first met me and I always thought that was strange considering I’ve always had such bad social anxiety. But I tend to be very quite and when I do speak it’s very blunt and direct which I guess comes across confident? But I’m also super goofy with people I’m comfortable with. Finding out peoples perception of you is always strange
It's so strange for me too, it's actually complicated since I do like leadership tasks. However, even though I open myself to other people, they're still intimidated by meand it often leads to misunderstanding 😭
the transactional friendship thing is so real. like no, don’t have the expectation that i should give you a pencil or my answers. it’d be nice if someone would just talk to me because they want to get to know me instead of always wanting something from me. thanks for the reflective video!
this video absolutely did it for me! as an ex-people pleaser (lmao) lately i felt that ive been becoming a little too full of myself when really i finally reached a level of confidence that i honestly can’t explain. it took a lot of work, a lot of forgiving myself, forgiving people who’ve wronged me in my past, setting boundaries, and going on this self discovery journey that’s made me be so confident and have so much love and respect for myself. younger me would’ve have never thought 🤣 but honestly if she were to see how well i turned out she would’ve been amazed. thank you for this video and for anyone who feels that they aren’t confident yet, it truly takes time, effort, and patience on yourself. the point is to have discipline even when you don’t feel like your best self. but it is possible 💕
The group thing CALLED me out. As a college student, I do value smaller classrooms because u can have more 1 on 1 time with your teacher, and etc. But having eyes on me is the perfect phrase. Because I like attention, but I also don't. It's this weird paradox. It's why I avoid eye contact, and learning how to retain eye contact is the HARDEST thing for me to learn. When I start talking in a group setting, and ppl start to look at me I start to fumble my words, and forget what I was about to say.
Im usually ready to help simply because im bored and its something to do or i enjoy being kind and helping people out, being a very ready to help person doesn't always mean low self esteem if im stressed i say no but if i have energy and time to spare i genuinely enjoy helping people
The compliment part i agree we should learn to take a compliment but its just commom curtesy to give one back in my opinion if its honest. For me i see someone complementing me as a way to thank them and tell them a compliment ive been wanting to say to them as well but never found the time for it
yes ma’am, and to add on to that i think humility can come into play here. rejecting compliments in a sense doesn’t alwayssss have to be a lack of confidence. someone could compliment me on a achievement i’ve done and i could say thank you for sure, but by being humble because you know nothing could be possible without God - you’re not - not confident. you’re just humble and know where the praise should really go. if that makes sense
I’ve actually noticed some of this stuff with some of my past friendships, where the more I would do for them, the worse they would treat me. I’m happy to say I eventually figured their narcissism out, blocked them, and cut them out of my life. I would rather have no friends than be surrounded with friends like that.
I'm never negative to myself. Absolutely never, not even when I do something embarassing. I grew up with undiagnosed adhd. A lot of people were mean to me. I had to learn to self soothe. Had to learn to be kind, gentle and uplifting to myself. And it worked out quite well for me.
I just realised I'm more confident than I think! Two years ago I used to have a low self esteem and no confidence at all because of school, bullying and stuff like that, but I changed for the better and I'm most glad that I'm not a people pleaser anymore! Thank you for the video, I love your content
1:51 thank you for this. I have been such a people pleaser, and still am. I’m dealing with/trying to recover from a lot of toxic shame & I particularly had a hard time with it today, but you pointing this out has made me realize that at more recent times where I’ve anxiously looked back on my own behaviour maybe being “too harsh” or “cold”, I was maybe just being neutral, and it’s a new aqcuired sense of feeling grounded with myself…which actually feels very comfortable. this gives me a perspective that I’m actually unlearning being a people pleaser.. and not mean. so, thanks ❤
I’m someone who thinks I don’t need anyone because of bad experiences with people. So since this is rare, thank you, for giving a message that I think I needed to realize how far I’ve come. Sometimes you need a sign you’re on the right path.
I feel good about who I have become as a person. I cried other day thinking about how much I have grown. But I still am insecure and seek external validation to some extent but I am more comfortable in who I am now.
On the topic of saying no; notice how colloquially as a society we DO generally use the term "yes man" in a negative sense. Because always saying yes and kissing ass is actually not what makes people respect you- the opposite, actually. And it shows you don't respect yourself and subtly gives people permission to not respect you. Say no if you want to say no.
Very first video I actually watched throughout. I usually just skip through the important bits. EVERYTHING about this video hit me on a deeper level. I was always told to pretend being confident even when I'm not. Thank you for convincing me that confidence comes from within. I'll learn to do better. Promise.
I am working on becoming self confident and I find its so important for me to be able to live freely in my own skin without feeling this fear of perception, or this self doubt, especially now that I am in college, (It's my first week in college as a freshman) and I really loved every word you said, you are very intelligent!! I am applying many of the new things I am learning to my life and I am seeing a real postive change in my life and how I carry myself.
Yep beeen confident all my life thanks to my early up bringing. Nice to see my qualities on this list 😊 I was made to feel safe to be who I was an express myself when I was in a particular foster home. I loved them so much they are still my family. By the time I was adopted no one could project their insecurities on me because from 2-6 years old o already developed who I was
this is the first video i've watched of you and i'm inmediately suscribing, you're so articulate and easy to listen. Thank you for making this video, i think some of these were things i used to have and i feel like i'm losing, or losing sight of what made me the person i am today, i needed a reminder like these.
This resonated so much with me. Yk sometimes you just need to hear things you already know deep down. Great video ❣️ the way you talk to full of compassion and internal reflection is very special!
Damn the part when you said you might have had the instinct to help instantly, or do things for others because maybe you didn't feel worthy of their friendship... That hit hard, I never thought about it. I do this all the time! I always feel like people wouldn't be interested in befriending me unless I help them, or I'm useful to them. That certainly attracts toxic people.
This is so important to me. I was always taught that my value would come with my achievements and that I should do things that backed my existence as a person. For my father, if you can't reply to "who you are, what have you done" with tangible evidence then you are no one or someone who settles for mediocrity. Even though I always knew that this way of thinking was not like me, I have fought so hard to not get it into my brain but sometimes this was futile and I even found myself judging others by this standard without realizing it. I'm currently writing a story about this, trying to get all of this poison outside and try and heal my inner child and adult, I couldn't have found your video in a better situation, thank you so much! 💝💝💝
The last point makes so much sense. A lot of people measure their worth by what they've done, what they earn etc and than can make you feel like a failure when you see other people specially who are around your age doing far more "better" things and having achieved a lot more than you. That's why people get intimidated by other people right bcoz they think this person is better than me as they are more "Succesful". That surely happens with me and I think also with a lot of people. But if you become comfortable in your own skin, be proud of who you are or who you're becoming, be proud of being open minded and ready to listen to others, connect and learn things, being sure of yourself, not comparing yourself to others, that would definetly give you an unshakable confidence and ease.
4:19 “Sure, people are ‘portraying an image,’ but it’s often more about survival and self-expression. 🌟 Personal brands are the new way to make a living in a tough economy 💼✨"
I’m knit picking. I own that.😂 So, Not caring about how people perceive you for wearing the same outfit twice is so so. Sometimes you don’t care out of necessity. Sometimes the reason for wearing the same outfit is circumstantial and presenting nonchalant about it is an effective way to not get pressed out about it and cuts collateral damage to the ego down to a minimum.
Added: The things that anyone can achieve like material possessions and money being viewed as confidence. You’re like those things are easy to obtain but not like real confidence insinuating that confidence is a bit more challenging to obtain. True enough but get this. Confidence is challenging to obtain as it requires people to look inward into themselves and find acceptance of themselves from themselves. This is the EXACT reason people look to the external things for confidence because it’s easier to obtain. Overall great video
@@exceptionallyriso Ironic that your whole existence is to point out the pointless. Simple misspell that YOU UNDERSTOOD but here we are. Your dry humor because you do what others do and troll in the same predictable lame azz way everyone else on the internet does.
i'm 16 and start a new year of school tomorrow, i discovered your content like last night and i watched some of your videos. ive been telling myself all summer that this year i will make an effort and try to be more social and i feel like your channel gave me a small confidence boost for tomorrow. i just wanted to thank you, even if it isn't much :)
As an INFJ it is quite hard to socialize outside of my friend group, because it’s not small talk that is difficult: actually I don’t want to do it. I’m still carrying the remnants of past trauma even though I’m healing, yet it still has a strong hold on me. I’m learning to take compliments and not let people use me anymore.
It's interesting you mention being not too nice as a sign of confidence, because in my case, I HAVE been not too nice... but my toxic trait was to feel overly bad about it. Like if I wanted to not care about people, I could do that, provided I was honest with myself about being a bad person and I had to learn to live with that. It's scary to think that I can NOT punish myself for being a blob who sometimes does nice things and other times doesn't like a perfectly normal blob. The sacrilege! 😂
I was today years old when I found your channel I think you are a genuine person I don't find people like you so often I find you beautiful and lovely thanks for sharing such topics with us may allah bless you sweet girl❤
I never had many friends and people always think I'm not cool enough, but something I've been very proud of since I was a kid is the ability to stand alone and say no. My opinion is always the opposite of the group 😂
I normally don’t watch videos on confidence because the normal takes on it be so lame and repetitive. But your take shows genuine thought and originality. Thank you for this because it resonated with me very well 😊❤. Now I gotta check some more of your content 😁
I`m a big introvert, but I feel so heard and speak well in groups. Most of the time I find people leaning on me to lead them genuinely. I didn`t know it meant confidence like that
Im confident yet super humble, I have nothing but love and compassion to offer to the world however Im introverted and my quiet nature seems to leave many uneasy for some reason. Never understood why- makes absolutely no sense! However it seems like people today are quick to label those they dont understand rather than taking the initiative to learn about others. Strange times!🤷
I think a confident person receives a compliment and gives it back not because they’re not used to positive affirmation but because they’re being nice and kind, or maybe because the person complimenting them genuinely deserves it? That’s just my opinion
Just when I thought I improved and learned how to love myself a littler better, i dont tick any of these signs😫😂 quite the opposite actually but I still love your content!
Hey I’m a 5th year medical student & I enjoyed this video I like your authenticity and I think you inspired me in many aspects even though I have information about literally everything aspect you talked about but you said it differently so thank you for showing up to us💞
Ah i loved this video 💕 I used to struggle with self esteem as a teen and I find the older I get, the more I flex my ‘no’ muscle, the more confident I get. It’s about knowing yourself, even if others can’t see it, you know you’ve got it
Wait pause you’re a doctor!? You’re so young, beautiful, and intelligent! Congratulations Girl!🎉 That’s Amazing! 🙋🏽♀️First time watching one of your videos! Great content! 💕
i debated the second/'overly nice' one for a while. I believe the good I do for people doesn't stem from validation but from being happy that i made their day a little better or easier for them. I like sharing with ppl and GENUINLEY complimenting them. I can take a compliment but for some reason the ONLY compliment i cant take is when someone says 'youre so nice/kind/sweet' cause personally dont believe I am since im just being myself. I wondered deep down who I would be if i wasnt that type of person though, but i realized over time that being that way will always be a part of me. Ive been getting out of my people pleaser era, aka staying with friends that arent good for me, but i l wasnt that much of a people pleaser to begin with. I love doing good for ppl and when ppl ask me 'why?" i always respond with "why not?" because if its not hurting me or others then why not?
Thank you for this video Christina. I've been feeling down lately, but this video helped me realize that I'm much stronger/confident than I was a year ago.
I wouldn’t consider myself confident. I grew up with a lot. A LOT. Of self image issues because I was heavily bullied. And I think that unconsciously I started correcting those aspects of me that I was picked up on, in some way of self defense and prevent people from making fun of me. And I’m baffled to think that me suppressing all my emotions and desires makes me look confident. Now that I moved to another country, people I’ve met have told me that they are impressed by my personality, and how “strong I look” and that I am confident and comfortable being on my own. And when I thought about that, this behavior comes from me isolating myself because literally no one else was interested in me up until university. I learned that I am stuck with myself, better to make peace with me and find ways to entertain me because no one else is going to. I am deeply wounded and my isolation is the only way that keeps me alive and, for the outside world, happy. Edit: also. Because I know how awful feels to be treated poorly, I try to treat people with kindness. God knows I wish I had that when I was younger. We all want validation and to be understood, but some people choose the most harmful route to get it.
Gee thanks, this was really validating... For a bit, insecurity was starting to creep up on me again, but your video reaffirmed that there's no need to hunt for the next saucy thing I can post on social media. In fact, I enjoy experiences so actively that I even forget to take pictures and end up with not many that I can post 😅
how can i stop being overly nice when its my genuine kindness and personality and that's why my friend who had social anxiety turned into a overly exrtrovert guy and said im better than his therapist, like seriously howw??😭
4:28 yk sometimes I used compare my instagram followers.. and sometimes/rarely I still do. Because I remind myself like “no one is like you, that’s your power” and I created my own little concept, which already exists, but like Numbers don’t define me and Numbers also don’t define everyone else, what defines them is what they like, how they treat other people and how they treat themselves. Not their instagram followers.
1. You can take a compliment.
2. You're not overly nice. Not too polite. Not too available.
3. You're not trying to prove yourself.
4. You speak up in groups.
5. You can say no.
6. You're comfortable alone.
7. You feel good about yourself because of who you are ❤.
Saved 15 minutes. Genuinely grateful❤
Wow I love that
1. "I love that outfit."
Me: "Damn right."
Love this. Thank you for sharing.
I think being nice should be done from a place of doing good not for validation.
agreed
Yess!!
This. Having a generous soul/gratitude heart
I am nice because that’s how I would like to be treated. You get what you give.
Exactly! And I am finally realizing that I was more of a people pleaser than a kind person, not saying I'm not kind, but I definitely was a people pleaser.
As an introvert, who is also on the quiet side.. Some people think of me as an arrogant, intimidating person and some tell me to be more confident.. Meanwhile I'm just minding my own business.. I think most people equate 'confidence' to dominant/assertive and outgoing nature.
True. Confidence can be quiet and you don’t feel the need to say “I’m confident” either. Some people who are loud are trying to overcompensate too. Confidence shows in different ways.
I agree! There's a book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (audiobook on Spotify!) and this book helped me understand how important introverts are in our society. We all have value!
True, others think that because people are so quiet we are shy, I just don't waste my time speaking to idiots when I can have a more intelligent conversation with myself, or a non-living object if it gets to that point.
yeah i'm quite quiet and as a kid, some adults said i'd be off-putting or could come across in a way that i'm not, but...i was just existing🤷🏾♀️ not bothering people or being in their business. but i also had genuine friendships and was acquainted with many people so like?? the heck were they on about? moral of the story: some people are just wrong and being dumb. don't dumb yourself down.
Facts!! I am very quiet in my school and I don't communicate with anyone so some girls in my class has complaint to my teachers that I am very rude and cold..like girl-?...
As a recovering people pleaser, I have been working on this exact thing for the past year or so. I’ve made leaps and bounds of progress with my self worth, starting with recognizing and then banishing negative self talk (turns out, those weren’t even my own thoughts, but words said to me that I had internalized). But it’s a journey. Those reflexive “muscles” of not taking compliments well - and saying sorry - are oh so strong! It takes time.
Oh, and it takes practice! This video is exactly the reminder I needed to check in with my mental health and self image to make sure everything is still healthy.
totally! it takes time, letting go of rushing to become 'that' version of myself makes the journey easier
Omg I recognise me sooooo much
I have that same internalized dialogue that came from someone else!
For all the women out there, I would strongly recommend to read "The Art of Seductive Power by Juliet Arden". I have studied men before.
what really hurts me is it just sounds like i've always been confident at a young age, i've just had way too many close nasty family members who kept perceiving me in such a judgmental way growing up that i thought it meant i was doing wrong when it really wasn't about me at all...
It’s never about you. Don’t let them get to you or dim your shine. They judge you because they see you sparkle ✨
Exactly. This right here ✊🏾✊🏾
You know, I'm starting to think that is my story as well. I always thought something was wrong with me but once I'm by myself, I'm confident in my decisions. It's just until I get outside input (that I don't even ask for) that I second guess myself.
thats exactly my story
Saying no is even more difficult with family. They don't understand that sometimes saying no is not hating them, but loving ourselves and they take it personally.
"What you think about yourself always matters more than what others think of you" I love that so much
I used to be the friend who was always available and even sacrificed my sleep for others, but it was never reciprocal. Not because my friends were bad, they just valued their time more. When I realized I could still be a good person and put myself first, my confidence skyrocketed.
You are not the only one here I was also like this..I often stayed up at night and even if I had a test or exam the next day I would be playing games with them just to appear "nice" and a fun loving person....
I needed to hear this comment thank u❤❤ I'm just now coming out of thinking I'm a bad person for having to cancel things I should of never put in my over booked schedule. It's okay to say no. No is an option no one's gonna "eat you".
A confident person Treats the RIGHT PEOPLE WELL and the people who deserve to be treated right.
a confident person will always treat you with respect even if, objectively, you don’t deserve it.
I used to be overly nice, like really too nice, too kind. And a lot of people told me that, but I didn’t care I just wanted to be really kind, after some time I realised that I was unintentionally people-pleasing. I still wanna be really kind to people but I don’t wanna people please, they should respect me and not use (I nearly got used once (but the girls in my class protected me and after a week I was really really really happy and grateful that they stopped me from getting used).
I’ve never realized how confident I am until I went to this STEM camp. One of my friends mentioned how she thought I look very “scary”, she meant that I was kind of intimidating, but decided to say scary lol. Anyways, I had been called scary/intimidating before then, but had never asked what they meant. I thought it was just cause I have an rbf, but after asking other people it turns out that a lot of my friends I made there were pretty intimidated by me because of how confident I seemed.
I don’t know, I still find it funny how I can be intimidating when I’m relatively quiet, and kind of just goofy around people I know.
I was the same way growing up. After getting to know me better multiple people have told me they thought I was really intimidating or scary when they first met me and I always thought that was strange considering I’ve always had such bad social anxiety. But I tend to be very quite and when I do speak it’s very blunt and direct which I guess comes across confident? But I’m also super goofy with people I’m comfortable with. Finding out peoples perception of you is always strange
@@peyton3364 literally lol
It's so strange for me too, it's actually complicated since I do like leadership tasks. However, even though I open myself to other people, they're still intimidated by meand it often leads to misunderstanding 😭
@@kowigatzzz7062 oh my gosh, literally
the transactional friendship thing is so real. like no, don’t have the expectation that i should give you a pencil or my answers. it’d be nice if someone would just talk to me because they want to get to know me instead of always wanting something from me. thanks for the reflective video!
This was needed. I’m confident as hell
slay
lmao slay but teach me too
@@ChristinaAaliyah thank you for this video . I realized where I'm lacking at . Can you please make a video about to how to come out of it ?
A whole new world was revealed to me by the phrase “be proud of who you are and not what you do”
I am listening to this and I still don't know if I'm confident or not.
Like this confirmed I'm so average. Feels good.
Another day to remind the world kindness is not weakness. Its ok to be person that makes effort to please others . Its no weakness. Selah
- “This colour looks so good on you!” -“Thank you, that’s my favourite colour!”
The more you say no, the more you become a confident person.
Agreed. 💯
this girl is a gem. the way she talks is so impressive.
this video absolutely did it for me! as an ex-people pleaser (lmao) lately i felt that ive been becoming a little too full of myself when really i finally reached a level of confidence that i honestly can’t explain. it took a lot of work, a lot of forgiving myself, forgiving people who’ve wronged me in my past, setting boundaries, and going on this self discovery journey that’s made me be so confident and have so much love and respect for myself. younger me would’ve have never thought 🤣 but honestly if she were to see how well i turned out she would’ve been amazed. thank you for this video and for anyone who feels that they aren’t confident yet, it truly takes time, effort, and patience on yourself. the point is to have discipline even when you don’t feel like your best self. but it is possible 💕
this warmed my heart :')
The group thing CALLED me out. As a college student, I do value smaller classrooms because u can have more 1 on 1 time with your teacher, and etc. But having eyes on me is the perfect phrase. Because I like attention, but I also don't. It's this weird paradox. It's why I avoid eye contact, and learning how to retain eye contact is the HARDEST thing for me to learn. When I start talking in a group setting, and ppl start to look at me I start to fumble my words, and forget what I was about to say.
Im usually ready to help simply because im bored and its something to do or i enjoy being kind and helping people out, being a very ready to help person doesn't always mean low self esteem if im stressed i say no but if i have energy and time to spare i genuinely enjoy helping people
Yes!
right
The compliment part i agree we should learn to take a compliment but its just commom curtesy to give one back in my opinion if its honest. For me i see someone complementing me as a way to thank them and tell them a compliment ive been wanting to say to them as well but never found the time for it
Sooo truee!!!
yes ma’am, and to add on to that i think humility can come into play here. rejecting compliments in a sense doesn’t alwayssss have to be a lack of confidence. someone could compliment me on a achievement i’ve done and i could say thank you for sure, but by being humble because you know nothing could be possible without God - you’re not - not confident. you’re just humble and know where the praise should really go. if that makes sense
I love the ending. It's not about being confident about what you do but confident of who you are
I’ve actually noticed some of this stuff with some of my past friendships, where the more I would do for them, the worse they would treat me. I’m happy to say I eventually figured their narcissism out, blocked them, and cut them out of my life. I would rather have no friends than be surrounded with friends like that.
I'm never negative to myself. Absolutely never, not even when I do something embarassing. I grew up with undiagnosed adhd. A lot of people were mean to me. I had to learn to self soothe. Had to learn to be kind, gentle and uplifting to myself. And it worked out quite well for me.
this made me realise i’m confident af lmao i’ve come a long way! feeling very proud of myself rn, thank you for giving me a space to recognise that ❤
My takeaway:
"Be proud of who you are not by what you do or have, this unlocks self confidence"
Thank you for this!
her room is a vibe . i loved it !
I agree with the fact that confidence is more of who you are not what you do. And I believe that true confidence comes from within 👌
I just realised I'm more confident than I think! Two years ago I used to have a low self esteem and no confidence at all because of school, bullying and stuff like that, but I changed for the better and I'm most glad that I'm not a people pleaser anymore! Thank you for the video, I love your content
I’m proud of myself for improving my confidence after traumatic experiences up until this point 💗
1:51 thank you for this. I have been such a people pleaser, and still am. I’m dealing with/trying to recover from a lot of toxic shame & I particularly had a hard time with it today, but you pointing this out has made me realize that at more recent times where I’ve anxiously looked back on my own behaviour maybe being “too harsh” or “cold”, I was maybe just being neutral, and it’s a new aqcuired sense of feeling grounded with myself…which actually feels very comfortable. this gives me a perspective that I’m actually unlearning being a people pleaser.. and not mean. so, thanks ❤
this video just proved i have a lot of work to do😭
Don't give up! 💪
I’m someone who thinks I don’t need anyone because of bad experiences with people. So since this is rare, thank you, for giving a message that I think I needed to realize how far I’ve come. Sometimes you need a sign you’re on the right path.
I feel good about who I have become as a person. I cried other day thinking about how much I have grown. But I still am insecure and seek external validation to some extent but I am more comfortable in who I am now.
On the topic of saying no; notice how colloquially as a society we DO generally use the term "yes man" in a negative sense. Because always saying yes and kissing ass is actually not what makes people respect you- the opposite, actually. And it shows you don't respect yourself and subtly gives people permission to not respect you. Say no if you want to say no.
Very first video I actually watched throughout. I usually just skip through the important bits. EVERYTHING about this video hit me on a deeper level. I was always told to pretend being confident even when I'm not. Thank you for convincing me that confidence comes from within. I'll learn to do better. Promise.
when im just taking the compliment without downplaying or anything, thats because im so flustered, i forget how to word
I am working on becoming self confident and I find its so important for me to be able to live freely in my own skin without feeling this fear of perception, or this self doubt, especially now that I am in college, (It's my first week in college as a freshman) and I really loved every word you said, you are very intelligent!! I am applying many of the new things I am learning to my life and I am seeing a real postive change in my life and how I carry myself.
ty! good luck at college! hope you have the best time
@@ChristinaAaliyah thank you!
Yep beeen confident all my life thanks to my early up bringing. Nice to see my qualities on this list 😊 I was made to feel safe to be who I was an express myself when I was in a particular foster home. I loved them so much they are still my family. By the time I was adopted no one could project their insecurities on me because from 2-6 years old o already developed who I was
this is the first video i've watched of you and i'm inmediately suscribing, you're so articulate and easy to listen. Thank you for making this video, i think some of these were things i used to have and i feel like i'm losing, or losing sight of what made me the person i am today, i needed a reminder like these.
This resonated so much with me. Yk sometimes you just need to hear things you already know deep down. Great video ❣️ the way you talk to full of compassion and internal reflection is very special!
Being proud of your achivement is the hardest! Everytime I accomplish something it's just a "what's next" or "anyone could do it"
Damn the part when you said you might have had the instinct to help instantly, or do things for others because maybe you didn't feel worthy of their friendship... That hit hard, I never thought about it. I do this all the time! I always feel like people wouldn't be interested in befriending me unless I help them, or I'm useful to them. That certainly attracts toxic people.
As an ambiverted quiet guy, this is the video I really needed. Wow! I really am confident after all. Thank you.
I honestly loved this , you have great points.
Keep it up Christina, I'm a new subscriber
thanks so much!
This is so important to me.
I was always taught that my value would come with my achievements and that I should do things that backed my existence as a person. For my father, if you can't reply to "who you are, what have you done" with tangible evidence then you are no one or someone who settles for mediocrity. Even though I always knew that this way of thinking was not like me, I have fought so hard to not get it into my brain but sometimes this was futile and I even found myself judging others by this standard without realizing it. I'm currently writing a story about this, trying to get all of this poison outside and try and heal my inner child and adult, I couldn't have found your video in a better situation, thank you so much! 💝💝💝
Needed this thank you ☺️
The last point makes so much sense. A lot of people measure their worth by what they've done, what they earn etc and than can make you feel like a failure when you see other people specially who are around your age doing far more "better" things and having achieved a lot more than you.
That's why people get intimidated by other people right bcoz they think this person is better than me as they are more "Succesful".
That surely happens with me and I think also with a lot of people. But if you become comfortable in your own skin, be proud of who you are or who you're becoming, be proud of being open minded and ready to listen to others, connect and learn things, being sure of yourself, not comparing yourself to others, that would definetly give you an unshakable confidence and ease.
4:19 “Sure, people are ‘portraying an image,’ but it’s often more about survival and self-expression. 🌟 Personal brands are the new way to make a living in a tough economy 💼✨"
I say this with the utmost respect for everyone’s unique journey and the creative ways people are finding to thrive. 😊
Girl!! just thank you for that last part. Something has clicked in my mind and my heart with what you said
i'm so happy
I’m knit picking. I own that.😂 So, Not caring about how people perceive you for wearing the same outfit twice is so so. Sometimes you don’t care out of necessity. Sometimes the reason for wearing the same outfit is circumstantial and presenting nonchalant about it is an effective way to not get pressed out about it and cuts collateral damage to the ego down to a minimum.
Added: The things that anyone can achieve like material possessions and money being viewed as confidence. You’re like those things are easy to obtain but not like real confidence insinuating that confidence is a bit more challenging to obtain. True enough but get this. Confidence is challenging to obtain as it requires people to look inward into themselves and find acceptance of themselves from themselves. This is the EXACT reason people look to the external things for confidence because it’s easier to obtain.
Overall great video
Isn't it nitpicky?
@@exceptionallyriso nitpicking in context to what I said not nitpicky. There, I fixed it. You happy now..
@@Frainkey it was a bit ironic that you misspelt nitpicking, had a chuckle
@@exceptionallyriso Ironic that your whole existence is to point out the pointless. Simple misspell that YOU UNDERSTOOD but here we are. Your dry humor because you do what others do and troll in the same predictable lame azz way everyone else on the internet does.
i'm 16 and start a new year of school tomorrow, i discovered your content like last night and i watched some of your videos. ive been telling myself all summer that this year i will make an effort and try to be more social and i feel like your channel gave me a small confidence boost for tomorrow. i just wanted to thank you, even if it isn't much :)
As an INFJ it is quite hard to socialize outside of my friend group, because it’s not small talk that is difficult: actually I don’t want to do it. I’m still carrying the remnants of past trauma even though I’m healing, yet it still has a strong hold on me. I’m learning to take compliments and not let people use me anymore.
It's interesting you mention being not too nice as a sign of confidence, because in my case, I HAVE been not too nice... but my toxic trait was to feel overly bad about it. Like if I wanted to not care about people, I could do that, provided I was honest with myself about being a bad person and I had to learn to live with that. It's scary to think that I can NOT punish myself for being a blob who sometimes does nice things and other times doesn't like a perfectly normal blob. The sacrilege! 😂
I was today years old when I found your channel I think you are a genuine person I don't find people like you so often
I find you beautiful and lovely thanks for sharing such topics with us may allah bless you sweet girl❤
I’m speechless…in the best way possible
I never had many friends and people always think I'm not cool enough, but something I've been very proud of since I was a kid is the ability to stand alone and say no. My opinion is always the opposite of the group 😂
I normally don’t watch videos on confidence because the normal takes on it be so lame and repetitive. But your take shows genuine thought and originality. Thank you for this because it resonated with me very well 😊❤. Now I gotta check some more of your content 😁
thanks so much
Thank you for this video you have inspired me and you have given me a lot to think about on myself as a person.
I`m a big introvert, but I feel so heard and speak well in groups. Most of the time I find people leaning on me to lead them genuinely. I didn`t know it meant confidence like that
Im confident yet super humble, I have nothing but love and compassion to offer to the world however Im introverted and my quiet nature seems to leave many uneasy for some reason. Never understood why- makes absolutely no sense! However it seems like people today are quick to label those they dont understand rather than taking the initiative to learn about others. Strange times!🤷
I think a confident person receives a compliment and gives it back not because they’re not used to positive affirmation but because they’re being nice and kind, or maybe because the person complimenting them genuinely deserves it? That’s just my opinion
Just when I thought I improved and learned how to love myself a littler better, i dont tick any of these signs😫😂 quite the opposite actually but I still love your content!
Thank you for this and the content you post! Congratulations on becoming a doctor! All the best i your career and life endeavors!🎉❤
This cane on my feed. And I gotta say, very practical knowledge shared and it's very good, so I immediately subscribed lol. Great video! 👌
I'm confident af! and I'm only 15.... damn.... I never knew.... this just boosted my confidence even more
hahaha love you!
I confidently admit I’m a people pleaser 😅😅😅 I can take compliments but I also love complimenting people.
I never knew these traits of mine were a sign of confidence. I always thought not having stage fear is confidence.
Hey I’m a 5th year medical student & I enjoyed this video
I like your authenticity and I think you inspired me in many aspects even though I have information about literally everything aspect you talked about but you said it differently so thank you for showing up to us💞
Just so true. You’ve said it.
This video made me realize I am confident. I just have insecurities to work through
Ah i loved this video 💕 I used to struggle with self esteem as a teen and I find the older I get, the more I flex my ‘no’ muscle, the more confident I get. It’s about knowing yourself, even if others can’t see it, you know you’ve got it
Here Girlies ,May we all have the super duper future life as we imagine ❤
Oh my goodness the friend nice to you one on one then not in public hit home for me!!!
This video was the confidence-booster I needed! Thank you for sharing ❤.
Wait pause you’re a doctor!? You’re so young, beautiful, and intelligent! Congratulations Girl!🎉 That’s Amazing! 🙋🏽♀️First time watching one of your videos! Great content! 💕
i debated the second/'overly nice' one for a while. I believe the good I do for people doesn't stem from validation but from being happy that i made their day a little better or easier for them. I like sharing with ppl and GENUINLEY complimenting them. I can take a compliment but for some reason the ONLY compliment i cant take is when someone says 'youre so nice/kind/sweet' cause personally dont believe I am since im just being myself. I wondered deep down who I would be if i wasnt that type of person though, but i realized over time that being that way will always be a part of me. Ive been getting out of my people pleaser era, aka staying with friends that arent good for me, but i l wasnt that much of a people pleaser to begin with. I love doing good for ppl and when ppl ask me 'why?" i always respond with "why not?" because if its not hurting me or others then why not?
but i dont know how to divide who I am from what i do? like who am I if i dont do good things?
Your voice and explanations are so clear, congrats on your communication skills, really enjoyed the video
I’m so happy I’m on the right path to become more confident 😊 thank u for the video, it really helped
This is very wise ❤ wow thank u so much ! Great work
Thank you , needed to hear that 🤍🤍
Thank you for this video Christina. I've been feeling down lately, but this video helped me realize that I'm much stronger/confident than I was a year ago.
I really needed this, Thank youuu💗
such a good video, u have a great energy like i would listen to u for hours 💗
I wouldn’t consider myself confident. I grew up with a lot. A LOT. Of self image issues because I was heavily bullied. And I think that unconsciously I started correcting those aspects of me that I was picked up on, in some way of self defense and prevent people from making fun of me.
And I’m baffled to think that me suppressing all my emotions and desires makes me look confident.
Now that I moved to another country, people I’ve met have told me that they are impressed by my personality, and how “strong I look” and that I am confident and comfortable being on my own.
And when I thought about that, this behavior comes from me isolating myself because literally no one else was interested in me up until university. I learned that I am stuck with myself, better to make peace with me and find ways to entertain me because no one else is going to. I am deeply wounded and my isolation is the only way that keeps me alive and, for the outside world, happy.
Edit: also. Because I know how awful feels to be treated poorly, I try to treat people with kindness. God knows I wish I had that when I was younger. We all want validation and to be understood, but some people choose the most harmful route to get it.
Gee thanks, this was really validating... For a bit, insecurity was starting to creep up on me again, but your video reaffirmed that there's no need to hunt for the next saucy thing I can post on social media. In fact, I enjoy experiences so actively that I even forget to take pictures and end up with not many that I can post 😅
This is a video for me omg!
Hello Christina! Could you make a video on how to overcome procrastination? Thank you!!
yes this is such a good idea
unrelated but i love the way you speak your vids will be my new way of speaking exercise hehe
Beautiful message❤
how can i stop being overly nice when its my genuine kindness and personality and that's why my friend who had social anxiety turned into a overly exrtrovert guy and said im better than his therapist, like seriously howw??😭
❤ like this
. It also seems I'm now more confident than I thought. I was the exact opposite
4:28 yk sometimes I used compare my instagram followers.. and sometimes/rarely I still do. Because I remind myself like “no one is like you, that’s your power” and I created my own little concept, which already exists, but like Numbers don’t define me and Numbers also don’t define everyone else, what defines them is what they like, how they treat other people and how they treat themselves. Not their instagram followers.
I think I am already quite confident but this made me realize that I still got some work to do. Thank you for that video it rlly helped me :)
i'm so glad
I love this video! So engaging and everything is beautifully put! Love the examples too, so well put together. Definitely subscribed 💗
I KNOW IM CONFIDENT.....
JUST CLICKED TO CONFIRM😭DAMN I PASSED
slayyyy
Such a beautiful video.
Thank you, lovely. ❤️