I Suffered Female Genital Mutilation & Was Forced Into Marriage | Extraordinary Lives |
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- Опубликовано: 26 апр 2024
- Shamsa Sharawe was born in Somalia, where she was subjected to female genital mutilation aged 6. Scared by this experience, Shamsa was then brought to the UK and navigated her life there, slowly realising what happened to her.
Trying to come to terms with it all, Shamsa went back to Somalia aged 17, but was forced into a marriage, which resulted in sexual and physical abuse.
Warning: this episode contains content you may find distressing.
We speak to people with a unique life story to tell. From a North Korea escapee to an undercover cop, a Cold War spy to a shipwreck survivor. Hosted by LADbible's Ben-Powell Jones, this series is a window into remarkable experiences - with stories that paint a picture of extraordinary lives.
Thanks to Shamsa for taking part! Follow her charity Garden of Peace, her youth work and love for truth and healing.
Instagram: shamsaaraweelo
Charity Instagram: Gardenof.peace
Tiktok: shamsa.araweeloo
Host: Ben Powell-Jones, Twitter: @BenPowellJones
00:00:00 - Introduction
00:01:28 - Types of Female Genital Mutilation & the History of the Practice
00:06:00 - Growing Up In Somalia & Going Through FGM
00:22:45 - Moving to the UK & Facing Western Culture
00:23:47 - Having Periods With FGM, Health Implications That Followed & Being Examined By UK Doctors
00:29:46 - Realising She Wasn't Like Other girls & Teenhood
00:38:40 - What Should a Health Professional Do If They Suspect Someone Has Been Subjected To FGM?
00:40:00 - Going Back To Somalia
00:49:37 - Meeting Her Uncle, Being Controlled By Him & Marriage Arrangements
00:58:00 - Meeting Her Future Husband For The First Time
01:02:38 - The Wedding Day
01:05:44 - The First Night & the Beginning of Sexual & Physical Abuse
01:13:50 - Living With Her Husband & Her Escape Back To The UK
01:19:00 - Coming back To Terrible News
01:21:15 - What Shamsa Is Doing Now
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Thanks to Shamsa for taking part! Follow her charity Garden of Peace, her youth work and love for truth and healing.
Instagram: shamsaaraweelo
Charity Instagram: Gardenof.peace
Tiktok: shamsa.araweeloo
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@@noongourfain amazing! Thank you
L
Beautiful and brave woman.
A place. A place for women who are experiencing abuse to run toward beyond a shelter. A place for survivors to live together. A place of hope and healing. A community for survivors...because we need respite from our memories and proof that love and compassion are real. I would create it if I had the means.
I worked as a Specialist Gynaecology Nurse for around 3 1/2 years in a small town in the UK. I saw around 30 cases of FGM, it was horrific and heartbreaking. The worst of it was some of the female’s were young girls who came in with their mothers, and when I told them I’d be making a referral to the safeguarding team and possibly the police (dependent on the case), the mothers would scream at me that I had no right to tell them what was wrong and right regarding their parenting decisions, their religious beliefs, culture and what was best for their daughters future. I also saw adults who were embarrassed, scared, suffered severely with smear examinations, menstruation and intimacy with their partners. With adults a referral to safeguarding is still made, consent or not and rightfully so, as they can still offer counselling services, referrals for surgery to help with complications and very importantly help to ensure the cycle is not repeated with their own children. Even if a female has a clitoral piercing safeguarding is informed as it is classed as a form of FGM.
Every case of FGM completely broke my heart, I cried every time I saw a case after my shift ended and I’d be at home reflecting on what I’d seen and the complications it causes, no matter the age of the patient. Not only that the torture the patient must have endured during the procedure.. After that 3 1/2 years I moved into Specialist Dialysis nursing. However, not long after I left the Gynaecology unit a doctor was arrested in the neighbouring city around 30 minutes from me who’d performed FGM procedures in an NHS hospital. Sick, twisted and evil, but described by his co workers as a wonderful person with a kind heart. It’s happening under our noses.. and we don’t even see the evil in front of us. My heart is with this woman and every woman and child that has gone and will go through FGM 💔😢
I don't know why this comment doesn't have more likes. It should be pinned.
An NHS doctor was doing FGM in the NHS???
Frey’s, you are very courageous to give your testimony and I am pleased to know that the law is getting involved in theses affairs in these type of countries. You wiLl be in my prayers for peace of mind. There is no doubt you were challenged just by being present in the room during the procedure.
She said she is in her 30,s and have a daughter. Is the daughter from her forced marriage. ? She did not say.
@@twinnishHe's breaking the Hippocratic Oath, committing a crime, and mutilating girls. He always had other options, options which would have protected his patients from mutilation.
As a Somali woman, I cried my eyes out listening to this story. I was born and raised in Canada, and my parents don’t believe in the barbaric practice of FGM. But it tears my heart to pieces that my own mother, Shamsa, and so many women had to go through this 💔
Really where in Islam says to do this with females yes we know that many jews and Christians and all muslims do it for boys for health reasons but in females i don't believe why they do this this isn't Islamic but maybe their cultural practice
That’s not true, women do not go through this in Somalia. That’s a lie and she just wants attention.
@@cowboycerrone2348 please get out my replies.
@@ariyassin3035 🤡 she capin
Anything for the UK citizen
every time i hear someone say “the world no longer needs feminism” i think of stories like this. the amount of abuse women and girls still face everywhere around the world is horrific.
Western world was doing good then I read comments about doctors doing this in taxpayer hospitals in Europe. It must stop!
True. And yet, you have the same world crying “men are lonely”, “society failed men”, with the countless articles, supporting andrew tate and whatnot at the same time ironically, claiming how “men have it worse than women” all the time
Exactly.
@@Whatsthepoint223 you are comparing apples and oranges. Two completely different societies. The Middle East and anyone who believes Islam’s rituals and female destroying ways def need feminism and LGBT rights.
@@Whatsthepoint223 it's true what they say "men suffering is a tragedy, and women suffering is normal".
I am glad this gal gave lots of details. People need to completely understand this if they are to change it. Genital mutilation and forced rape marriage destroys every part of a person. So, so horrible. 😭
The r@p# whilst the thing is still sewn, I cannot imagine the pain 🤢
This is probably one of the worst stories of gender based violence and abuse I have ever heard. It was honestly a culture shock. Shamza did such a vulnerable thing sharing this story and opening up like this, the fact that she’s sharing this to improve futures of other woman’s like her, amazing well done
Sex based - gender is a social construct whereas sex is the biology a person is born with
@Nomopoly 2 and that’s how manipulation works lol Violence disguised as “love”. Abusers use the same excuse when they abuse their partners and say “it’s only because I love you so much”.
Read Ayaan Hirsi Ali's self biography, it says some of the same things. I have great difficulty understanding, what these people want here in the West, when they STILL take their children to Somalia and put them thru ordeals like this!
@Nomopoly 2 because there brainwashed ! If it was such a good thing it wouldn’t be illegal and it would happen in all places
Shamsa*
The guy doing the interview is exceptional! He allows the conversation to flow, interjects only when necessary, shows genuine sympathy and emotion, very polite, really first class well done ! This is why I lean towards channels like this and all the more so as MSM continues to pander to "celebrity".
Shamsa shows unbelievable courage to open up in what is a harrowing story, excellent content!
Love this comment, I was also stuck by how respectful he was and how he allowed her to shine and share her story. Sometimes less is more.
Great interviewer! I agree.
So horrendous😢.
@@fritnat so your point is? She should shut up and She should NOT talk about her experience?
He is a fantastic interviewer
As a Somali now woman who under went this unthinkable thing. I agree with my sister shams on a lot of the things she experienced because it happened to me too. I will never forget that day though I have forgiven my late mother (God rest her soul). It’s something that has been done to my mom and every woman in my family and will never happen to my little girls. It’s honestly shocking especially when what’s happening to you is not even explained to you. I can remember the feeling of my “parts” being cut and sewn. I don’t remember beyond bit and pieces but I remember having a hard time peeing ext… please help q as support against this!
I'm so sorry , i have no words
We must make sure the world knows so this will be stopped !!!
😭😭😭
Thank you for ending this generational suffering. You are an intelligent, very strong woman and your children are extremely lucky. You have done a great thing for many generations to come. 🌹
Im so sorry! I fought at my Capital of lawmakers to make it illegal here.
I was naive thinking Arab were the greatest lovers bc they could handle a harem. This is so wrong!
How sick !
Thank you for ending the cycle by not forcing this on your own girls! I imagine you only remember fractions of this experience due to the intense trauma it must have caused you at such a young age. I’m so sorry you went through this 😢
I truly remember this very vividly, I am a mother of two and I would literally choose to go through labor nine more times than go through FGM again, my heart breaks for all the little girls who went through this and will go through this
Thank you for sharing ❤
After having 4 children and going through the pain of being torn, cut, sewn all with medication, i can NOT imagine going through that as a child & without so much as a numbing agent! The level of cruely and abuse, there are no words for it. My heart goes out to these women. I hope one day this can be stopped.
It will , because it's what I came to do before I die. My bucket list's a little different.
@@jenniferbloh-michael8662 I wish I can join in ur cause
@@jenniferbloh-michael8662
Well I hope you can make a change in some way.
@@jenniferbloh-michael8662you have a great bucket list then
😢the women make ££££_ from carrying FGM inAfri😅ca
Born and raised in a small remote village in Kenya , I understand where she is coming from, I remember I had my periods at age 13, I was terrified, no one ever talked about it, no one wants to talk about it, no pads to say the least. Only torn old clothes and blankets, leaves and chicken feathers... My mom never even cared, she wouldn't spend a coin to get pads for me. I remember I stole one pad from her drower and she almost killed me. Just bleeding with nothing like pad was a nightmare, I wished I was born a boy back then, I hated everything about being a girl. Some things hurt differently, some pain pain hard. Even today whenever I think about some of the things I went through as a young girl I get upset. 😢 Am so sorry about this story she went through hell I can't even imagine 😭
As a somali we african have so much childhood traumas it breaks my heart. I have so many childhood memories with my mom and siblings that are so harsh hard to believe unless you are an African in Africa. I came to uk young and I’ve seen other communities and how they treat their kids esp their daughters. It’s amazing. I have seen many mothers with so much love and passion for their kids. Even the moment they see them they greet them and kiss them and ask about things. I have never had such experience with my mom. feels so good to even just observe their interactions. I visited my mom after 10 years of living in Europe and all she was concerned about was how much money I had come with bcos our relatives will come and ask for money and how she doesn’t want to be embarrassed. Many other issues time wont be enough to mention. Our African mothers are hardhearted and merciless. They lack compassion perhaps that’s the only way they were raised and don’t know any other way. That’s not even an excuse bcos I have 3 kids and I’m making sure no one treats them like I was treated. My kids can’t even live a day without me they would not allow that that’s how much they love me. I can’t even travel without them bcos they won’t accept it lol
I am so, so, so sorry. So sorry.
I am so very sorry you both went through that 😢
I always say I hate being a girl..not fair 🥵 I'm sorry for your experiences..sending you some hugs & strength 🤗😘👸
@HanaBaba-mo9yv omg seriously you saw your mum for the first time in ten years and all she wanted from you was money to give to other people that had nothing to do with you so she wasn't embarrassed 😳 I'd have told her no and that she doesn't want to be embarrassed she should give her own money to them and they wanted money that badly they should get off their arse and go work for it like you had to. I hope you didn't give them penny, I also hope you turned around and walked out and didn't go back because that's exactly what I would have done !! Im sorry but your mother sound toxic, entitled, sociopathic and narcissistic and trust me you are better off without her as she made it very clear you mean nothing to her other than a atm where she can take all the money she can get because she thinks entitled to have it and it doesn't matter that you worked hard for it and that it's your. That is disgusting behaviour, and I truly hope you went no contact as you really dont need people like that in your life. I hope you are happy and well and living your best life. If you ever need to talk or rant about toxic families, feel free to contact me. Trust me, i probably have as many stories as you do about toxic families, lol take care stay safe xx
I went to school with a young lady that had this done to her. I cried so hard for her. You could see the pain in her eyes
5, 6, and 7 year old little girls?! What?! How could a mother do that to her little girl?! Full well knowing the trauma of that experience because she went through it herself as a little girl.
The men and women are all complicit. The women encourage it because the husband will get angry if it isn't done.
social and cultural pressure and people not wanting to stand out or be seen to disobey or be seen as less than or "dirty,shameful"....many cultures have ways of making people conform to norms,they may not all seem as brutal or as obviously abusive as this but all cultures have ways of making people conform to cultural norms.
Its horrific though...not that long ago in Britian rape inside marrigae was not illegla or viewed as "rape",domestic violence not that long ago was seen as just an issue between a husband and wife.
Even now look at how hard it to bring "rape charges"or proescutions........it may seem a million miles away from FGM or forced marriage but these changes have only happened in the last 50 years or so.
Dreadful and horrific . How can parents think this is " in their child's interests " ?? Don't the THINK for themselves?
I just saw that in Gambia, they were performing FGM on babies. BABIES.
It’s a tradition as old as the pharaohs so it’s not as surface level as ‘the mother not caring’. It’s all they knew, all their mothers and their mothers knew. My mum knows it’s wrong but it was done to her entire generation. Fortunately, majority of the practice has died off now, as it should.
Wow, I was so humbled to hear Shamsa's story. As a WHITE BRITISH female social worker who has helped safeguard children and young people against both FGM and Forced Marriage/Honour Based Violence/killings in the UK, I cannot thank Ladbible TV enough for allowing Shamsa the time, safe space and opportunity to tell her lived experience in order to raise awareness. I remember a 10yr old child describing to me her "cutting party" as a 5 year old, and thought she was going to die from the pain. This is something done for purely for sexual gratification of men, to heighten their sexual pleasure, no benefit to the woman whatsoever, other than horrific pain, with many often dying from sepsis shock or major infection. Shamsa, you truly are a survivor. Thank you for your honesty and your bravery. Much love and peace to you xxx
Curious why the colour of your skin was relevant to your post?
@@princemishkin1601lol same and why is it in capitals? 😂
Actually no it isn't done purely for sexual gratification of men. She even stated that it's done for cultural reasons and is done as a religious requirement. Male circumcision isn't done for sexual gratification of women either, it's done for the same reason as FGM. It's done as a religious requirement, and as a rite of passage in most cultures.
@@Swiftiefan354 Also male circumcision is done for medical purposes, there’s that factor that people always forget. As a kid i had a cousin who got a major infection that almost cost him his penis simply because he wasn’t circumcised and was born in a 3rd world country where just simple clean water to drink is an issue, and with all these bacterias running around, if they get trapped in the penis you can’t clean them off of a baby. So yeah, there are medical situations that male circumcision is necessary. But I understand your point and it’s valid too. ( sorry for the long comment)
@@Swiftiefan354 idk there's a reason for it, beyond what you mentioned, without getting into too much graphic detail. It's the way she described the marriage consummation, that it's like a "gift" for the guy because they have to tear or cut in order to proceed with the act. It must be a very painful ordeal and I feel very sad for these women to have to go through all that and the guys seem to take it as a given, normal, so why not.
This is an incredible yet moving narrative. My sympathies to her. No woman should ever have to go through this. It's just brutal.
8000 girls a day. 8000. Sooooo many people on earth don't even know right from wrong. Extreme gender-based violence from ignorant people.
AND WHAT IS THE REST OF MEN AND WOMEN TO DO ABOUT THIS? I AM SHOCKED THAT PRESIDENTS DON'T UNITE AND DECLARE WAR TO THESE COUNTRIES AND DESOLVE THEIR AUTHORITIES. DON'T COUNTRIES GO TO WAR TO CONQUER NEW LAND? WAR OVER POLITICAL ISSUES (NOW UKRAINE AND RUSSIA) BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO CHILDREN...IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT?
As is it horrible to cut off the end of a baby boy’s penis. If God/ Nature didn’t want a little girl or a baby boy to be formed the way they are formed, they would be formed differently. There is no medical reason for any child, girl or boy to be cut like this …horrible, horrible, horrible! I do not understand how any woman who has had this done to her would let this be done to her child. I have even heard of children dying after this horror. The WHO…the World Health Organization…should OUTLAW this procedure as well as male circumcision.
I can’t imagine how extremely painful sex would be later after a girl got married……Oh, my God!
I feel so very, very sorry for this poor woman and all women who have undergone this horror.
The interviewer asked all the right questions and especially sensitive. Very thorough Shamsa so proud of you. Can't even imagine what you went through.
This woman is so damn lovely. My heart and brain can not wrap around the fact that after all she’s been through she is so well spoken and strong. I am so proud of her for becoming who she has become and “proud” feels like such unworthy word for what I actually feel for her.
My mother had FGM, and when my gradmother (her mother)said that we (granddaughters) was going to have it, my mother and father said NO. They got so mad. All the Girl I have meet, my age doesn’t have FGM. Only the woman (my mother age) who had it
I'm so glad your parents protected you and more girls are being protected.
I AM SO GLAD YOU WERE SPAIRED!!!
I remember learning about this, NOT in this detail when I was 5 or 6. My mom told me what some cultures do to girls my (then) age.
It was terrifying...and I remember thinking...how sensitive that area is on my body and how my mom manipulated that area on me during "cleaning"...and then thinking of what other girls my age were going thru, so much pain, it hurt my heart then...and now, I'm 49 and just learning the absolute heinous crimes that were done to these little girls...some zero age!?
It's satanic, demonic...that isn't "culture" to be praised or held up, it's evil.
Messi, I am so glad your parents stopped that horrendous cycle for you💜
I'm sickened over my "glpbal family" and the crimes they carry out on the very precious gifts (their children) entrusted to them.
If we were in person, I'd be crying and hugging you...already crying and sending love and hugs and appreciation for telling your experiences and happiness that you escaped!!!!!
💜❤️🩹💜
@@Lyddiebits are you saying your mother molested you? Cleaning is cleaning. It's not "cleaning". My mother never once ever extensively touched my genitals for cleaning
@@Lyddiebits What is a "glpbal family"? Did you mean to say "global family"? Thanks.
Thank God you were spared.
How anyone could think it is ok to touch another human in this horrific way is beyond me
Much love to you Shamsa
As a mother this is heartbreaking. How can any parent/mother/grandmother see their child go through such suffering?
I was almost killed by my grandmother. I'm convinced that these people are controlled by demons. Not all mothers are capable of love. It's not universal.
As a mother this is heartbreaking? As a fucking human being this is heartbreaking.
I honestly think I got second hand PTSD just seeing this interview. I want to hold my dear friends closer, I know some of them have been abused. So much respect for Shamsa for surviving those horrors and keeping her heart and soul and, 'a pint, a chat and a laugh'-too amazing. LADbible you showed sensitivity and still asked the right questions, bravo.
Omg same here 😢
I know. I realized my muscles were all tensed up while listening to her experience.
I feel physically nauseous. Are humans even worth saving if we are capable of shit like this?
shamsa is one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever seen. To be abused as a child in the most violating, painful way but still be a beautiful person with love for mankind is inspiring. thank you for bringing her back. She is a FABULOUS activist indeed ❤
How can any parent take part in this, it's horrific.
That's how I feel. I would leave if I was made to feel I was being pressured by the whole community to mutilate my baby. Especially if I had it done myself as a young girl too.
Their misogyny and the patriarchy are way above basic human empathy. They don't care, they believe girls somehow "deserve" this and all of the hate/violence they get.
For her case, her mom was against it, but she wasn’t there to protect her. She was in a different country trying to get her and her sister out. But it also sounds like the mom was neglectful in getting her help after the fact. And towards her trip back to the country alone. Getting over cultural systems and norms is a beast. And it’s confusing too. Sometimes my mom seems so liberal on these issues, but then something happens and she freezes, her default is to rely on culture to get through life when traumatic things happen. Then she will speak against it when she knows it’s just us and we are safe. It’s a confusing thing to understand and even empathize with the parents when you haven’t lived in that community and experienced the tricking and coercion. Hope this helps
keith m we take it for granted that we have so much individualism and independence in our culture, yet in other parts of the world it's expected to fit in, in order to be part of the community which is very often a case of the woman's survival depending on it; otherwise you end up old and alone with no one to provide for you.
I can’t believe this is still a social norm anywhere 🤦🏼♀️
I can’t even begin to imagine the fear and pain. I’m so sorry for your experience. So many tears for you, your sister and your cousin.
Hearing her go through everything just for her to finally go back home to losing her mom absolutely crushed me. She is a pillar of light and resilience
It’s beyond comprehension that there is such evil in this world. I’m so sorry she had to experience this and completely amazed at how articulate she was explaining her story. She’s so strong and well done her for coming out the other side and raising awareness, can’t be easy.
Crown Princess Mary of DEnmark is an internatioNal leader , who uses her influential position to help to stop FGM in Africa. She has worked with Margaret Kenyatta/ aka Margaret Kamau , the wife of the previous President of Kenya to help to stop this practice in Kenya. CP Mary went to Burkina Faso last year to establish a work there but unfortunately there was a revolution, so the Princess's work never came to fruition.
42:36 @@sheilanixon913
Well, what do you think transgender surgery is? Same old same old mutilation.
@elaine1034 did you listen to what you just said when you were typing? Did you read it back before you hit "done"?? Transgender surgery is OPTIONAL, so that's a completely competent ADULT who's CONSENTING to have gender reassignment surgery. Being forcefully and unable to decide having FGM ISNT ANYWHERE NEAR, gender reassignment surgery. I'm literally shocked, a tad angry but super confused at how you could even THINK to put these 2 things in the same category. Please, unless my comment couldn't confirm or clear up how much/how far, each of these couldn't even be put in ANY category together, please do some research and educate yourself more regarding the 2 topics before giving a very misleading statement, such as the one you made above, please 🙏
@@chiquittabeezkrazykinky Educate myself? Sounds like you don't know what mutilate means. It's to injure and disfigure. As a former OR nurse, I saw things that gave me nightmares. Both FGM and transgender surgeries are genital mutilation regardless of optional or forced. And teenagers are not adults!! You ought to learn the difference between why they would circumcise males and why a female. BTW, suicide rate alone for males post transgender surgery was like 42%. For females, painful sex for the rest of her life and 90% of the time includes physical abuse by her husband. Gender dysphoria cannot be cured by surgery!! Your praying hands emoji belies what you truly are and believe.
Its stories like this that make me appreciate the times and the society I was born into. I can't imagine the suffering. She is an amazing survivor
Same. I have my own issues with my parents, but one thing I love about them both SO much is that they were fierce proponents of my sexual autonomy. They taught me what to expect about puberty before it happened. After it happened, they taught me about how no means no, to trust my judgment around other people, and that any attack on me should be reported immediately and would NEVER be my fault.
If someone had tried to do that to me, my parents would have killed them.
@@BeckBeckGoYou are also lucky to live in a culture that supports these values.
The social norm of circumcision of baby males in US is THE SAME THING.
@@susanmurdie7701no it is not - some religions do that to newborn males. But it does not affect them as far as having sex. They are no different in any way and I respect that it is a religious thing. And I have never heard of anyone saying oh I wish that had not been done to me. Women can’t enjoy sex and that is wrong and there are plenty of stories like this so no it is not the same at all.
@@debbiesmith4186And circumcision does not require the removal of ALL the skin of the penis, and does not interfere with sexual pleasure later in life, nor interfere with urination, which can and does cause infections in victims of FGM. And, of course, as boys, it doesn’t interfere with menstruation and childbirth. All of that happens with FGM. Women who have had FGM also have higher rates of maternal death in childbirth. So, while I understand the argument against circumcision, it is nowhere near the same as FGM.
What a brave lady telling her horrific story, I just can't imagine having to go through that pain and suffering, and I would imagine a lot of the girls that are put through this butchery suffer from PTSD, what a traumatic experience for them all. It's disgusting!!!!
This is so horrifying brings me all the way back to secondary school when a friend of mine told me she was sewn up. I was so confused at the time, but I could see that she was really distressed and also confused. I felt so sad for her. I just didn’t know what to say. I think she just wanted to tell someone at school. Thanks for sharing your story and sharing to bring awareness to others
What a brave, beautiful, strong woman. I'm absolutely disgusted by FGM - it is barbaric and anyone caught doing it/participating should face a mandatory 50-year jail sentence.
I doubt that will ever happen since they don't get that long for taking another person's life. They may say they get life imprisonment yet in reality that only means 25-30 years its very rare life means life anymore 😕
I never hear soo,peinful hostories😢 special that part,is so tender,my God, stock me,
They should be flayed over a period of days.
What a horrific culture. Just hearing about the amount of abuse, deliberate deception and betrayal by her own family, manipulation, and pain this young woman has gone through is distressing. Living through it all must have been hell. Her resilience is incredible!
its.done for the men..idiat.relative's helping
Circumcision is practically genitalia mutilation but it is consider normal and not horrific cause it’s done in the western world
@@Lu-dt5le I agree with you that male circumcision is also inhumane, but you have to see how between the two, FGM is particularly awful. At the very least male circumcision can have a medical reason supporting it (e.g., phimosis or balanitis), even though 99.9% of circumcisions done to young boys is not medically necessary, it is an understood and medically sound procedure that does not effect the fertility of the boy, it does not induce incontinence, and most importantly it doesn't cause reoccurring pain and infection. There is no medical reason to ever remove a girl's clitoris, let alone to sew her labia together in sch a way that prevents normal, healthy biological processes to take place.
@@Lu-dt5le
Circumcision is, while I think is bad if not medically necessary, still tame compared to usual FGM.
Usual fgm literally cuts of the entire clit and other parts, its like cutting the tip of the p*nis
The worst is sewing
@@Lu-dt5lewell thank goodness for the western world. These perpetrators are sub human reprobates
Sitting here listening to what this poor woman and so many others have endured is so heartbreaking! I'm sick to my stomach just hearing about it, imagining these children having to go through this. She's incredibly strong and brave to speak about this 👏
My daughter started to learn about female genital mutilation at her secondary school and I found wonderful they talk to the girls about that. I looked for some videos online with some testimony like this lovely lady in this video and my daughter asked to stop playing it. She felt very upset to know how these young girls suffered. My heart can not understand how a mother/grandmother/untie, anyone that has your blood let you go through such a despicable, horrible monstrosity! Such a beautiful and powerful video❤️
Completely horrifying and barbaric practice, shocking to hear that anyone has gone through this. Thanks to Shamsa for sharing the story.
Poor guy, he‘s so empathetic. He looks like he‘s gonna faint any second when she describes the procedure of female genital mutulation.
Imagine Shamza. She is reliving it and has to live with it daily
My heart breaks for Shamsa, her siblings and relatives. I can't imagine the pain they suffered. I always knew it existed and was horrible but to hear her tell her story, I feel horrible. She is very strong coming out and telling us her story. My prayers out to her and all women who are victims of this horrible practice.
Absolute POWERHOUSE of a woman!!
Thank you for choosing to be so open and allow your pain to be a voice that tells your story and informs the world and educates others. Very traumatic but moving. Thank you
This woman is so truly strong, to be telling her story and teaching others about her mental and emotional pain caused by family/culture. I’ll never understand how anyone can ever carry out such a brutal torturous procedure or even arrange for it to happen to someone you love, a child. Hearing of these inhumane procedures will forever break my heart.
BUT "SUCH A BRUTAL TORTUROUS PROCEDURE KEEPS ON BEING DONE TO CHILDREN" AND WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT? JUST SAY "AWFUL.? WE ALL ARE JUST AS CRUEL AS THOSE DOING IT FOR "RELIGIOUS" PURPOSES.
It's only the countries that follow this practice who can stop it .
Mother's who have had this done need to stop allowing their daughters to go through this.
Advise can be given from other countries but can't enforce it.
FGM is not allowed to be done in the UK.
Her story is frightening, horrific and heartbreaking. She’s come out of the deplorable abuse a lovely and strong women. Hopefully now she’s is living a good life helping and educating others.
Thank you Shamsa for being such a brave warrior. I have heard and read about the practice of FGM, but this has really helped me to understand how widespread this horrific practice is. It brings tears to my eyes to know you, and other little girls, went through this terribly traumatic abuse. 😪 It is easy growing up in the Western world (I was born and bred in Australia and now live in USA with my husband) to believe such things rarely happen these days. I think many who grow up away from the threat don't want to think about it, but need to be made more aware of it to help fight it. I am more aware now thanks to you! It makes me angry! The thought that such abuse happens all over the world makes me even angrier! I hope we'll see more arrests and focus on stopping the practice - more re-education too - from now on. May there be an end put to these horrific crimes against female children and women soon! 😡
I handle my past trauma with laughter as well. It's often assumed that I'm lying about it but it's the only way I can explain things without ADDING triggers, etc. How Shamsa delivered her story was BRILLIANT! Thank you!!!
Her mother started changing the cycle and she finished changing the cycle. Her mother got her daughter out (just a couple years too late) and she never let her daughter go back. It's a beautiful story and she is such a hero. I pray that God blesses the rest of your beautiful life ❤.
This makes me sick with fury. How can humans be so vile and evil and do things like that. I am so furious that Shamsa and so many women had to go through this and still do.
Me too. They still 'burn witches'.
All the little boys in the US and around the world that go through this at just 10 days old as well. Any circumcision to a child
And they call The West :
"A disgrace!" "A shame!"
It's world upside-down!
@@linds3904although I don't agree with either boys or girls having this done against their will, the big difference here is that when the boys have theirs done at least they do it when they are babies and they don't remember it therefore they are not traumatised by it, and more importantly it's very very rare they are left with serious trauma and health problems as a result of having it done.
@@linds3904 both are bad but fgm is much worse and done for much worse reasons
I'm in awe of her resilience and grace. Thank you for so fiercely standing up for girls and young women!
My God! How she survived these horrific violations and tragedies is beyond my comprehension… I nearly fainted just listening to the brutality of it all. I desperately hope she’s at peace.
You are an extremely brave lady. I pray that your future life will be a much happier one than the one you have lived. May God always be with you. May I say what an attractive lady you are. Why was a male given the job of interviewer - this subject is extremely sensitive for women - why not have a female host. You (at the station) were clearly not thinking of your visitor’s feelings at being asked such intimate questions by a male. I think that young lady deserves an apology from your station. You disgust me.
U be surprised how many women got this done to them in Africa, including my sister.
I went through the same thing and I was very pregnant almost 8 months and the pain was unbearable, and I suffered even after child bearing. I will never forget.
I go through the same
What happened with you
Wow. I am so sorry.
I hope you can get surgery to help you.
They do it to women who are ALREADY pregnant? It gets worse and worse! No, no, NOOOOO! I can't imagine going through both at the same time!
I'm 23 years old my first time ,i was 6 years old still remember the pain
Thanks for talking out about it
Such a strong and articulated woman
Incredible! Man's inhumanity to women, also perpetrated by women. Thank you for this heart-rending interview. This story must be told & heeded.
This makes me think of footbinding in China. I mentioned this in another comment. It was meant to make women more desirable to men, but it was the WOMEN who forced it on their little girls. Naive me, Canadian girl, who learned this as a teenager, kept thinking “all the women had to do was flat out refuse to do this to their kids.” But this went on for a THOUSAND years. I don’t think it would have crossed their minds that refusing to disfigure their daughters was even possible.
@@BeckBeckGoAnd those women were brainwashed into it, since it's well known women have been denied the right to education for most of human history, which made them ignorant and gullible.
Often mothers were/are forced by husbands, fathers-in-law and other relations. One threat being used now is to remove the children from mother’s care, do the fgm anyway. In China, sometimes a professional binder was used because they wouldn’t be gentle like a loving mom would. But, on the other hand, it sure looks like generations of women, victims of abuse, somehow get hardened to it and perpetuate the abuse on their own children.
phyllis: the truth about this is that cruelty, violence, mutilation is a human problem, not a male problem.
Men and women are equally capable of violence.
Either sex may initiate, either sex may facilitate the assault.
@sheilasmith7779 My apologies, you have misunderstood me. My point was that both men and women are to blame so we do in fact agree.
She's a strikingly beautiful woman. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, thank you for making us aware of what is happening.
It is super important that we talk about her sexual attractiveness to you.
This was such an eye opening and painful watch but can I just say the interviewer was brilliant- the definition of empathy and compassion. He was so respectful and safe bravo to him for creating a safe space without judgement and with respect for her to tell her story of pain and resilience.
Both Shamsa and Ben did a masterful and riveting interview and are to be congratulated for bringing such barbaric practices into the light. It did occur to me about half way through Shamsa's story that this, yet again, is all about power, terror and fear that the girls who escape this form of torture might somehow gain the upper hand. Bravo to Shamsa and her late mother.
This guy is so good handling such a sensitive subject. Good for him.
I waited a long time for a longer interview with this lady. I have watched her first interview a thousand times it was so eye opening. Wish her all the best!
SHAME THAT IS ALL WE CAN DO "WISH HER ALL THE BESST". I THINK WE NEED TO PUT PRESSURE TO ALL BUROCRATS TO PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES TO TAKE OVER THOSE COUNTRIES AND DISOLVE THEM AS SUCH. THOSE COUNTRIES THAT ALLOW THESE CRIMES ...ARE NOT "COUNTRIES".
L
4:49 ll
Is this an Islamic tradition? Because they are so good to their woman.😢
I am beyond grateful that this woman has the courage to come forward and tell her story, her whole story to help others. Shamsa is so beautiful inside and out. I could listen to her all day.
Found out about FGM from National Geographic Magazine in 1989. I was 10. It was very traumatic for me to know that was happening to girls my age, in a different part of the world. I prayed for them. Then I went to college & learned even more about it when I was getting my degree. That was 20 years ago. It's disappointing to know that nothing has changed.
I learned about it when I was about 15YO, in my shrinkologist's waiting room . . . reading it in the Reader's Digest.
I'm 49 now.
Sad this stuff is still going on. The misogyny of the world is upon us women.
I saw that National Geographic too. I'll never forget it. Still makes me nauseous to remember it.
Proof that prayer doesn't work.
Things are changing, just too slowly! I learned about it as a young teenage girl and was appalled, when I was 20 I bought Alice Walker's book 'Warrior Marks' (also 'The Color Purple') to my surprise my husband read it and got very upset about his own circumcision! Because of the knowledge we've gained, both of us routinely speak against any type of circumcision!
It was a major win when California's Medicaid stopped covering circumcision, not only did that privatized the procedure forcing households to pay for it on their own but it also had the added bonus of knocking it off a lot of other private insurance companies premiums also. That's hundreds of thousands of babies born without being circumcised simply because the insurance company stopped paying for it! Massive WIN!
I’m emotionally overwhelmed by her story, her strength and courage as a woman with this horrid trauma. ❤ She is incredibly beautiful, both inside and out. I hope she reads this and knows that strangers are here for her and prayers heading her way. 🙏
How can a family treat one of their own like this! Where is the love, where is the protection and the caring? Sad that this interview was still censored. Words bleeped out. Why?
@@annettewalter2273 because of their Islamic beliefs
Hearing all this just infuriates me. I am not of her culture or any country that condones this, but being raised in the US, and a totally different culture, I would rather die than live that life. I would run away too. Women are still very much vulnerable and I hope that this experience of this women empowers other women to learn and understand what abuse is and they do not have to accept it. Women need a safe house to go to and escape these barbaric practices, in any country. I know it's not always realistic but I wish there was a sanctuary for women forced into these practices.
@Annette Walter All 💯 agree with your comment!
I'm guessing those cuss words were bleeped out because of the cultural sensitivity of those who ascribe to today's political correctness culture. That's something I kept thinking of throughout the rest of the interview when she started cussing. It's utterly ridiculous how that type of censorship has gotten out of hand really from since about the early- to mid-1990s or so and has only gotten worse in the currently prevailing socio-political atmosphere, climate and environs. It's ludicrous. I, for one, have rather for a long while now wanted to listen to and hear the actual cuss words - no matter how strong and/or vile they might be - in video, audio and typed posts like this one of this kind in general instead of the actual bleep sounds so I could get as much informative context as possible instead of trying to figure out later what they had said at certain times in these kinds of posts. (However as just an aside, I can still do without the cussing in posts of the kind where the cusser is cussing for no (apparent) constructive reason/s. You know what I mean? 🙃)
Anyway in the comment just below yours, I can also now understand why the censorship because of the cultural norms of Muslims although that never occurred to me until now. 😐
Take care and God bless you and yours.
This is very common from the region I come from. They had it done when I was 7 and measured the hole to kidney bean🫘 so I can only pee from that. It take long to pee and when I was married off to old man I have to bleed at night till all the bed sheets is full of 🩸. You are expected from that in order to have honor within the community and your parents are respected from your torture. Today I am free from that educated and never allowing my daughters to go through that.
My god. What a despicable form of child abuse it makes me sick to think of young girls going through this 😭 I can’t even imagine the fear, the pain, the continuous health issues for life. Absolutely disgusting! These poor girls it’s just heart breaking. This has to stop! Just because other family members have this done doesn’t mean the cycle should continue. As a mother you know in your heart that you shouldn’t hurt your children, how mothers can let this happen is just horrific. Thank you Shamsa for sharing your story to educate us all on this, I’m so sorry you had to go through FGM and all of this suffering 😢
And we say it's ok for boys to have sex change same thing different name they call it
@@yolandgibson1233huh
@@yolandgibson1233 Are you stupid? Who even does a 'sex change' on a boy, that's not legal. The most that's allowed are puberty-blockers, which aren't even hormones, but operations are _for adults only_ and _voluntary_ and _done under _anesthetic._ Please don't compare your first world problems to this kind of crime, it's just disgraceful.
Not just girls- male genital mutilation needs to stop anyway! It's barbaric, has zero medical benefits and kills thousands of babies every year!!!
Unbelievable journey. Shamsa is very courageous and outspoken woman in her heart wrenching personal story. I will never understand why horrific customs continue thru the ages. I believe in Shamsa’s mission to end this horrifying practice!!.. love to you Shamsa!!
Unbelievable 😢. You are here for all the women that won’t have to go thru this horrible practice, and for the ones that have. Bless you for all you’ve gone thru. Maybe your story will wake up more people! Much love to you! 💕
The description of the process was the most excruciating thing I could ever imagine. This lady is so articulate, I'm so sorry you had to endure that completely unnecessary procedure. I just want to give you a big loving hug 💔
Oh gosh I thought the FGM would be the worst of it. This is absolutely horrific. I'm so sorry she had to go through this
Shamsa you are such an inspiration! The fact that you can share such a traumatic story and advocate for others who have gone through similar experiences, shows what a resilient fighter you are! Thank you for sharing and educating others, like myself, about these terrifying practices still going on today! I wish you all the best in the future!
I admire your bravery!! You’re such brave woman to speak up about your experience.God Bless You !!
Good grief this is absolutely horrific. As she was telling the story i sat here in tears, thinking what they were going through. What trauma, its just unreal its actually a thing. Those behind the process and including the mothers that put their kids through that should face imprisonment. My wife is from the Philippine's, she tells me this is a thing there too. But typically only done in middle class or more wealthy family's. She grew up in a very poor neighbourhood so escaped this.
@@fritnat Well said. Thank you.
@@fritnat With boys it's different because it's the removal of the outer skin. Can be beneficial in preventing infection. Female circumcision is the equivalent to cutting off the head of the penis; and according to scientific fact there are more nerves in the female parts. It also makes the woman more susceptible to fatal infection, unlike with males if it's done correctly and with appropriate hygiene of course.
@@fritnat No dear, do understand where I'm coming from. Most of the female circumcision is the removal of the whole thing, because that part of the woman is tiny and it'd be real difficult besides pointless (in terms of the reasons for them performing this) to take a nick of skin off. The cultural purpose behind this is to remove a woman's sexual desire and to make the vagina really narrow in order to heighten the future husband's pleasure, besides she won't want to lose her virgin until forced because of simply the thought of all that pain. Circumcision of males is the removal of the foreskin and it's performaned by males on other males. It does not affect a man's ability to perform sexually or experience pleasure. Huge difference. Whether I'm against male circumcision or not is beside the point; it's a tribal custom in my country and I am none to interfere, although I believe the elders should be qualified in hygiene practice. It is not the removal of the head of the organ. Please do look up whether the clitoris or penis has more nerves in it, and then come argue once you have the facts, otherwise you risk making make a 'nana out of yourself.
@@fritnat stop spreading misinfromation!! Ashton is right. Cutting of the clitoris is not just a skin removal neither is the stiching of the vagina (cutting off the labia minora). You know that a woman with FMG cant have an orgasm right? If you want to spread your misogynistic rhetoric go somewhere else. This is a place for this womans pain. She deserves respect not lies.
Also "preventing infections" just say that you are pro-FMG. Educate yourself and stop helping the pain to spread.
The one time someone was lucky to not grow up in a house of opportunity and wealth. I can’t imagine what this torture is like for these children and women. It’s literal sexual assault, an assault on female sexual identity and their sexual freedom.
I genuinely cannot process how anyone could do such horrific things to anyone, let alone little girls and teenagers. From you own family furthermore. This woman is incredible. The way she speaks about all the mutilations, the abuse, the violence she not only witnessed but also experience herself and yet still manages to keep such a beautiful smile on her face is beyond admirable. She is out of this world. And massive kudos to the interviewer for being so respectful and empathetic, and also allowing things to be said as they should be said: truthfully, even if the truth can be brutal sometimes. We need this to understand what is going on, why it's important to educate people and how we can either prevent it or what to do if we witness it.
Thank you Shamsa for educating us all and thank you LADbible for allowing this discussion.
You're an inspirational and strong woman who've been through so much..
There are many women out there who are shattered to pieces for much less than what you've been through..
Keep up the good work, my sister and keep on smiling because you're beautiful inside out.
I can’t even begin to imagine the horror you went through. You are a remarkable young woman. Thank you for sharing your story.
It makes me horrified to know there are millions of young girls and young women around the world that your story resonates with. This practice as well as forced marriages and honor killings must be stopped!
Not gonna lie, this interview blindsided me. I had heard of FGM, never understood what it involved. Shocking. Humbled by this woman and her experience.
I’m just glad you were able to escape the horror and able to live your life safely now. It’s really sad that this is still a common practice and very very few people will come on camera and openly speak about it to educate about these topics. I’ve been educated today, thank you ❤
Yup. And there are doctors practicing it in the uk and the usa
The negligence of the doctors in the UK who did nothing to help her is crazy
Thank you for sharing and bringing an awareness to such sensitive topic. Her life should be turn into a movie that way more people will become more educated about this horrific abuse to little girls. Shamsa you are an amazing survivor, so beautiful and strong. The interviewer was incredible, blessings and thank you both.
I’m so proud of you, Shamsa. Exemplary woman.
Shamsa and I are the same age (it seems like she’s a couple months older) and I cannot even fathom the experiences she’s had. The physical and mental trauma this woman has endured is absolutely devastating. I’m glad she has the strength and courage to share, because this topic needs more awareness and education behind it.
They damaged her body but not her spirit. I hope that she can still love a good man inspite of what was taken from her, but she still has her heart, and we love with our heart first. I still can't imagine not feeling sexual pleasure...and hope that love will take care of that.
this woman is amazing, inspirational, and thank god a survivor, I wish her a long and healthy healing life, kudos to breaking a horrific cycle
What a brave lady. Can't imagine going through that and be so balanced.
I am listening to this in complete shock. The strength of these women who have endured this is out of this world. 😢
Her tiktoks kinda prepared me for this video, but man did she go through the worst kind of abuse a female can go through in her life! And she is so eloquent and so pure despite everything.. Absolutely amazing.
I really wish life is only kind to her from this moment on.
What an unbelievable story. I am so very proud of the person you have become, with all you have gone through. Bless you for sharing your story and letting the world know about these horrible things that are still happening, and your work to make a bid difference.
😅😊😅😊
As a mother I am horrified at this. My instincts tell me to take the pain for my daughter or absolutely destroy those who were responsible. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
"I was waiting for someone to listen to my no."😢😢
I really appreciate the guest being so open about the abuse she endured because of FGM. I have been speaking out about this for the last 6 or 7 years.
I have an online friend that had it done to her.
My friends story made me cry. Her husband on the wedding night took a knife and cut her open as if she was a gift or an animal to be gutted.
I think as woman we need to hear this so our voice can be heard across all the oceans.
Great interviewer and guest.
I had not known of all the problems it created like the blood ripping the skin apart.
She said the blood dried up inside so as to be massively unhealthy and then caused ripping. Tons of health issues to follow.
😅😅😅😅 4:43
@@sandyfreyman35019😅 7:18
@@sandyfreyman3501😅
Π9:27
This is extremely eye opening. Thank you for speaking about this.
What a lovely interviewer…. Empathetic, sensitive, gentle …and asked just the right questions in a truly respectful manner. And Shamsa, a lovely, brave woman!
Well that hour and a half went so quick. I was enthralled in Shamsa’s story. She is an amazing storyteller and can put your mind in the place and time she’s talking about with her vivid memory. Shamsa, you are an inspiration, not to mention courageous, brave and forthright. I’m happy that you’re using your horrific experience of FGM to educate others, especially law enforcement, helping victims, the advice for Doctors you could’ve used. I’m so sorry you had to suffer that and witness your sister and cousin suffer too. Then you have to suffer more atrocities of kidnap, rape, torture and brutal beatings. Finally you escape and lose your mother. I truly am sorry for all that you’ve endured. I’ve no doubt you have a diagnosis of PTSD too, yet you keep upbeat in telling your story as you said, not to trigger yourself. I’m very proud of you. I’m sure we’ll see bigger and better things to come. All the best. ❤️
Shamsa you were disassociating in that moment as you were going to the bedroom. I’m sure you have PTSD and I hope you are getting help. I admire that you are advocating for other victims. I wish I could help. You are an amazing woman!! My heart goes out to you! Hugs and Aloha from Hawaii!!
This woman is the perfect example of why those cultures mutilate women. They are terrified of the strength they posses. A truly inspiring woman.
Agree!!
Those cultures? As opposed to forcing little girls to give birth or looking the other way when they are abused in a myriad of other ways?
Thank you for sharing your story.. I am so sorry you went through this pain . I have been through something like this story fully awake and i screamed the entire time..then being sewn is horrible..and after the swelling makes the stitches even worse.. i understand the pain and i am so sorry you went through this at such a young age . God bless you❤
A remarkable young lady. A great interview. Thank you.
This podcast blew me away. Shamsa has so much grit and determination, such a gorgeous smile and beautiful laugh, despite all she's gone through. I wish her family members had supported her and been there for her, but they are definitely NOT cut of the same cloth.
Have a rich, fulfilled, wonderful life, Shamsa, because you deserve it!! ❤
I cannot fathom what you have been through you are the same age as me and when I was 17 18 I was out partying with my friends discovering myself not even thinking about marriage doing all the things a young girl should be doing. I am so sorry this was robbed and taken from you and thank you for educating me on this topic. I previously worked in student accommodation with numerous girls from areas of Africa came to the UK to study. At the end of their studies they left so soon and did not end their tenancy. I was worried for a few as most I did not hear back from them. I got a phone call back from one girl that she quickly had to return to Malawi to be married and won't be returning to the UK. It makes me think of those girls I saw everyday through their studies it's possible some of them could have been forced into marriage. I just really hope really they are doing okay.
When she was talking about being in Sex Ed and thinking vaginas look weird cause hers doesn't look like that I literally googled FGM genitals because I'm like what does it look like????? I know she said small hole the pictures showed TINY LITTLE holes like TOOTHPICK size. I'm shook! HOW do they have sex? HOW do they give birth? It would tear the whole thing up!!!! Absolutely horrifying.
“The little knife”
So when they ‘have sex’ (often it either starts as rape or becomes rape) the are literally ripped open.
Same for giving birth
This story was so heard to continue watching. I felt her pain as she talked about her experience. I'm so glad she got away to see there is a different life. 😢
Girl, you are a warrior!!! ❤ I can’t even comprehend the trauma you’ve been through and you’re still so gentle and positive and caring and so many more things. You’re such an inspiration. You’re one of those people that when I’m having a hard time or thinking I can’t do something , that compared to your life is trivial, I just think to myself there’s no saying I can’t, cause you show that anything is possible ❤
Cannot un-hear and/or unsee this video. Traumatized by just watching this video. Shamsa Sharawe - I have heard about 'FGM' ... never knew the details you described. I have no words ... just, thank you for shedding light on the topic.
Agreed, I'm 17 minutes in and I don't know if I can watch any more. This is brutal to hear
I am so very sorry for all you went through. This was so horrific to even hear this. Had a co-worker who was from your country who told me a little. Never knew it was to this extreme. 😢😢 Take care hope you are ok now and helping others on this topic. 🙏🏾
What a horrific tragic story! She’s amazing! Thank you for standing up and sharing your story!
Her parents were absolutely irresponsible. If I were her, I would reject them and never talk to them again.
But this was happening in every family where she grew up, to every girl. Thankfully she has broken the cycle and not continued it with her daughters. That's what has to happen.
How can you witness a child go through that and not conclude it is barbaric. Utterly outrageous.
I wanted to turn this off because of how horrific it was to hear…but I owed it to her and every single girl to whom this happened to keep watching and listening. I cannot believe that mothers would allow this to happen to their daughter 😢😢