My step daughter asked if she could call me “mom”. Dusty Reads & Reacts!
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- Опубликовано: 11 апр 2024
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My step daughter asked if she could call me “mom”.
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I bet the older daughter realized she was missing out on having a good mom when she saw what her sister had. I feel the worst for her 😢.
My (step) daughter gave me a fathers day card one year, inside she asked me if i would consider adopting her, my heart flat melted...so i understand...
😭😭😭😭
My eldest son’s best friend calls me Mom because his mother treats him badly and likes that I treat him like a son. ❤
OP is NTA! Bio-mom is ASCON 1!!!!
Yeah, my step-daughter's best friend calls me mom because her parents are a hot mess. My step-kids had a similar situation to OP's step-kids, so I've been trying to make up for it now that they're young adults even though we don't live near each other. We still talk every day and one of them has gone no-contact with their bio mom. The other is very low contact. That whole side of the family is nuts and they're finally realizing it. I'm always amazed at how even the smallest words of support and encouragement light them up like they're not at all used to it. It makes me sad for them sometimes. They really deserved so much better.
I really needed a story like this in my life tonight. I swear you guys are mind-readers. Thank you so much 🥹💙💙💙
You don’t earn the titles of “mom” & “dad” just because you made a tiny human. You get those by being the people who are doing the raising of & caring for those tiny humans.
OP earned the title of “mom” by being a compassionate & loving figure in her daughter’s life. OP didn’t treat the daughter as less than for being on the spectrum. She just made small (and mostly inconsequential to her) adjustments to help her daughter feel more comfortable.
Dad definitely found a winner & they will both be better and happier for it 💙 Bio mom needs therapy and a serious tongue lashing, at minimum.
Can we just admire that the dad stepped up and took on a special needs child to raise. As a mom with an Autistic daughter with the father not in the picture this makes me so happy. There are so many moms that I know that the fathers left because it’s too much for them, so this post had me in tears. And what an awesome (step) mom! On behalf of all single parents of special needs children thank you for accepting her and showing her what a true mom is! 🙏🏻
Bio-mom wanted the ego boost, stepmom wanted the relationship. I'm so glad that the kid has OP. There are too many parents with disabled kids who use their kids to make themselves look saintly while doing nothing/very little to actually support/validate the child. Bio-mom wants people to see her as a saint for being parent to a special needs child even though she doesn't actually parent this kid. THAT's why she got upset, not because she had anything against OP. Unlike Dusty, I wasn't expecting her to use the oldest as a spy or anything like that. I think once Dad and "step" daughter didn't respond to this b****'s tantrum, she knew she'd lost.
It sounds like bio-mom didn't want to be a parent in general (choosing the child who she thought she didn't have to care for), and the neurotypical child wasn't completely unaware of that. Even if bio-mom had tried to manipulate older sister, I don't think it would have worked after older sister got to see how an ACTUAL mom behaves.
The idea that you don't feel good enough shows how wonderful you will be. Congrats momma!
I spent a lot if years being teased because I tuck in my t-shirts. That's just me, I can't stand to have my shirts untucked, that's part of my neurodivergence. For someone to acknowledge a personal quirk because of sensory issues and not judge you for it is a big thing. It's nice to feel seen, heard and acknowledged. OP you earned that title, she call you that otherwise.
When I was a kid I didn't feel dressed if my pants weren't all the way over my bellybutton like an old man. Definitely got teased for it. Simple understanding would have gone a long way
Me waiting for it to go bad was my Reddit trauma 😂 I'm glad it didn't
My son has ASD, and this made me tear up. 😢 It is so sweet and amazing. Thank you for being her mom and not just a mother. ❤❤
I can not express how awesome it is to find someone who would not freak out, roll their eyes, or make snide comments whenever you are just acting like your authentic autistic self. OP really is a one in a million. I am surprised that OP's husband waited that long to get married.
I'm Autistic I feel the food thing so much. Some textures make me ill that others wouldn't even notice OP sounds like a good Mom.
This is the sweetest story!
I have only recently at 31 allowed myself to avoid eye contact the way I've always wanted to. It's such a simple thing to be so freeing
I can understand why you were worried with the older sibling for a bit, but I think it's more obvious when you remember the first story.
When the "Mom" was going off and being pissed off about OP being called mom, older sibling stepped in and distracted the "Mom".
I don't think she's suddenly seeing a new side of her, I think she's probably always known and has had to de-escalate and all probably all her life.
Not all kids of Karens think that's normal, some realize it's messed up.
Oh my goodness. This made me tear up
Very special lady❤
I'd be fine if bio-mom had realized she couldn't actively parent the more needs child and knew dad could do better, but it's everything about how she accepts nothing about the consequences of that decision that's pissing me off, including her apparent gigantic sized lack of development of any kind of relationship with her child.
My child is autistic, and even though she's on the light end, the increase in needs are great. You have to be incredibly creative and attentive, because you are functionally trying to teach and learn other forms of communication that connect more with your child. I have these blissful moments when I'm able to 'get it' and we have a connection. I can tell by her behavior and how she relies on me now while she's still very young that all my effort is worth it and she'll have a strong foundation to understand herself and be able to advocate for herself and communicate with others.
That this 'mom' has abdicated that responsibility but wants all the respect and admiration of a loving child to a devoted mother, it hits that button that makes me feel violent.
I’ve been in a similar situation. I’ve been with my partner for 8 years, he met my son when he was about 18 months old. When he was about 4, he asked my partner if he could call him ‘dad’, which pissed off my ex, especially with him thinking we pushed it. His bio dad hasn’t really had anything to do with our son except for school holidays, which is now whenever he wants.
I feel like the sister didn't realize that what her sister had and maybe their mom made it seem like she was just picky and weird but the sister saw it from a different side those two nights. If they didnt grow up together then they wouldn't be that close and understand each other. I hope this relationship continues to grow with the sisters.
My “step” son’s bio mom had the same reaction to hearing him call me mom… he was 3 years old at the time. 😢🤬
That was so wholesome 🥹 so glad for a happy ending for once on here. What an amazing stepparent/mom ❤
As a step dad and someone on the spectrum, this story gave me the feels. Stupid, onion chopping ninjas.
MOM (stepmom) the bio mom has no right to saying anything. Block her and do not allow bio to contact her.
Bio Mom is a piece of work but I’m glad it had a happy outcome ❤.
There were updates past that, but they're separate posts OP made on others subs. Ex-Wife called OP drunk and said a lot of shitty things including that she's going to be trying to fight for full custody back of the daughter (but that'll be hard, the girl is old enough that the courts would take her opinion and statements into account).
OP's parents are apparently awesome, they gave the daughter access to funds to increase a membership OP got to a movie theater a few times a week, so OPs struggling with some feelings around that. But, grandparents gonna grandparent.
Are there any updates on how the other step daughter is doing?
@@NeshaBoo21 Nothing past what was already stated, but OP is still active on Reddit, including other forums, so high likelihood of it being a real post and getting some type of update in the future, that ex is a bit delulu so I think we'll be hearing from OP again.
I was thinking the little sister bought something in the store for either the stepmom or the older sister, but I guess that wasn't answered.
❤❤❤
I was pretty sure based on the older daughter distracting her bio mom at dinner that she was not going to be team bio mom. She had probably been trained to treat her sister like a nuisance by bio mom and once she saw another way, realized her sister needed something else and was not a nuisance. I'm autistic and all the ableism in these and the reddit comments is pissing me right off, tho. The ones feeding the idea that OP's autistic daughter is somehow a burden and should constantly live in the state of apology and gratitude she's been living in so far. Eff y'all.
💜
I'd suggest that the daughter start referring to bio-mom as "Mother," said very very formally. OOP can stay mom.
Seems like the older daughter was left to her own devices and focused on growing up and marking a career. Now that she has secured herself, she is working on building up her relationships with the rest of her family. Doesn't seem like she was brainwashed because the bio mom was a neglectful mom. Older daughter was raising herself.
🥺🥰
Bio mom made a choice by not raising her younger daughter. It was not disrespectful at all for younger daughter to call OP mom when she's done more for her. I think OP deserves to be called mom and I think she's a great person. BIO mom is a POS
Bio-mom is ASCON 1
"Mum" has just learned the difference between giving birth to someone and then nuturing them. Motherhood,just like fatherhood , is more than a biological process. I hope bio"mum" can wrap her head around this and do better
Mom is a position not a DNA result.
And you can call more than one person by a title. I have more than one aunt and uncle, do I need to choose one set for the titles and come up with something else for the rest?
This is kind of off-topic, but we really need to stop using the term "special needs." Speaking from the perspective of a lifelong disabled person, it is othering and detrimental to disabled people. You can tell this by the way OP went out of her way to explain how her stepdaughter is not like "other special needs kids." "Special needs" has a strong negative connotation and needs to be eliminated from the way we talk about disabled people. Including austistic people.
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