THESE Parenting Mistakes Will RUIN a Child's Growth | Mel Robbins
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2024
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I had to learn some of these parenting mistakes the hard way. Now I'm sharing the lessons I learned so you don't have to learn them the hard way too...
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Parents have to focus on giving their child attention, especially in the ages between 2 to 4 years-old. Parents must mirror and reflect their child to make them feel seen, heard, acknowledged, and like they're worthy of someone's full attention... I was neglected during my toddler years, and because of that an emptiness was born inside of my heart since then. Not only was my heart empty, but it also felt like there was a gaping hole that could never be sealed, and everything i filled my heart up with always came falling out in the end... The only thing that could relieve this emptiness (which can be confused as feeling painful loneliness or severe anxiety), was a video game addiction. Video games came into my life when i was 6 years-old and i used it to cope until today (I'm 23 now). Very recently i had a successful EMDR therapy session to get down to the bottom of this, and i was able to see what, why, and how it all happened by tracing today's feelings back to the earliest memory i have of experiencing it. My inner toddler needed a parent's full attention, he needed to feel like he existed & to not be/feel alone all the time, but because i didn't i always felt empty & dead inside...That was until i (the current 23 year-old man i am now) became my own inner child's parent in my EMDR session. My inner child is my own responsibility now. And it's my job as my inner child's parent to make myself feel seen, heard, touched, acknowledged, validated, and like i'm worthy of a person's full attention. I can access & connect somatically to visit my inner toddler to play with him anytime he needs me to. Now i don't need to rely on anything externally to make me feel validated, i can do it myself now.
Thank you for sharing. I am dealing with the effects of poor parenting of my son that I coddled because of health issues and I will look into EMDR I wish I had a time machine to go back and do it right. 😔 he deserved so much better than me.
Good on you for your awareness first of all and then your actions to address it.. at such a young age too… some of us are not aware at the age of 60 and even 80 and they are walking with wounds that have never been addressed or healed… I really admire what you have done for you… So inspiring..👍🤗❤️
I so admire your wisdom!
Just know that is a very difficult thing to understand…
You are absolutely right regarding the full attention needs of a small / young child by the parent/ parents
My own daughter didn’t seem to comprehend this : despite my trying to guide her when her two children were born. We are observing the sad consequences now at ages 16 and fourteen
Thankyou for wise letter
That was powerful.
*Love this talk children reflect what they see much more than what you tell them, so first lets take that step to be the best version of ourselves only than expect the same from our kids(future kid for me)*
God bless you Mel Robbins!... Thank you, for so much! I so wish I could go back and be a better mother..to allow my children to use their voices..I was that "don't do as I do, do as I say"...God forgive us, and give us the strength to forgive ourselves, and God, strengthen our children, empower them. You've made such a positive difference in the way I think..God Bless You Mel!
Thank you Mel! All. Of. This.
We are parents in order to nurture human beings not raise cattle.
I needed your insight, intellect and compassion 37.5 yrs ago so badly.. The lack of this wisdom in that era has left me broken and its beyond attainable to put the pieces back together. There is no glue that strong.
Great show! Adding another show with your son is awesome!!
To delay immediate gratification for a worthy long term goal. Smart move.. valuable lesson. Nicely done.
Exactly what I needed right NOW!
Thank you kiddos for sharing!!!
Stellar advice. You're both amazing and this is truly helpful to parents
I suggest that Oakley have his own show and you both visit each others show. Oakley's narrative is offering advise to children in regards to relationships with parents.
I truly enjoy your videos Robin and you are truly inspiring. You have helped me in my transition to becoming my best self. Much Gratitude and Appreciation.
I’m sooooooo glad I found you!!!!!!!! Thank you sooo much!! For this video ❤️
Thank you for this. I’m a single parent of at 12 yo boy raising him on my own since he was 3. I was also raised by a rage a holic mom who I don’t have a relationship with. I see her in me in so much I do and fear that once my son can leave he will and never look back. I can only hope I still have time to stop this behavior that could potentially ruin our relationship
And the most important...that they children learn to have selflove and selfrespect and selfconfidence ...as result of feeling loved and respected and good healthy bounderies
Stopping negative things from happening is actually coming from a state of ego, we need to call over and learn to get back up or the real world will be a dark place for us 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Hey Mel! So any hardship when your a child eg: (Family Bereavement, homelessness, poverty) can be aimed back at yourself and then be carried as anxiety into adulthood? It doesn’t just have to be Molestation or the usual childhood traumas?
Love you Mel. Please let's talk when your ready I want to fix our friendship together
Exactly I’m just here to guide my kids until they are grown and ready to take off. My family doesn’t agree with the way I raise my kids because I don’t try to control them I want them to learn how to be independent from a young age.
This is the most valuable and informative video-EVER. Thank you! Live, Learn & Grow.❤
Ms Mel Robbins ; Thank you 😊 🙏 😘 💖 right on
Some Americans are SO INDEPENDENT with the education they give to their kids that family values and connections disappear. I prefer a bit more of other cultures approaches than the Americans do getting everyone with so much independence. Cultural. It might work better for working (for example latinos are more dependable ) but I’m sorry, people all do here in USA is work work work work too much and family is nowhere. It is sad.
Yes!!! You are RIGHT !!!! ❤️❤️❤️👍❤️❤️❤️ I CAN SMELL A BS LIBERAL WHO DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYTHING! ... SEE THE COUNTRY IS UPSIDE DOWN! Because there BS. REMEMBER. : MERITS NOT COLOR !!! my opinion 👁👁
@@JUSTIN-ry4dn i’m with you. Thank you !
@@JUSTIN-ry4dn remember this can be seen as a liberal way but I see it beyond LEFT and RIGHT, beyond that liberal and conservative.
AWEEE HOW FUCKING SWEET!!! good for your son, and good for you for being a great momma raising a thoughtful son🥰♥️😍👏
Thank you.
This is why I stay away from toxic family and their toxic influence my mother was toxic towards me so I rebelled I won’t do that to my kids. My grandma always taught me to ask why and to think for myself and so I am the way that I am
My question is if u have been the judgemental parent, can u change so they will trust talking to u and how long could it take
Kids are so adaptable. Sit down with them; surprise them by asking them what you can do different when addressing them. Are you a good listener? What would help you learn to be a better listener? As for that last question? That should be taken out of the equation in time spent re-connecting with your children. We would have family meetings and just that idea alone was like a door opener for conversations perhaps never had before. Kids lives matter too. They love being heard. When children are heard, they are more apt to share what's on their mind. Thoughts create reality. The mind is the all; the universe is mental. Visualize potential positive possibilities without trying hard; pulling a wagon becomes easier to pull when you have help!
Yes, We need to be just as passionate about raising, nurturing and loving our children just as much as we are about our jobs. They are our LEGACY & they will be who we BELIEVE them to be.
Nah, your children become their legacy, and whatever they did is based on them, you are just two person who give birth of them, but if God do not give you these two children, you would have not children. So you are your own legacy, your children are their own legacy. And they believe who they believe they are. One day morning, you get up the bed and get a cup of water to drink, tomorrow morning, your children get a cup of water to drink. You command your body to take that action from your thoughts, your children commander their body to take their action from their thoughts. If you believe your children is who you believe they are, then they should own all properties you have, and they shouldn't be owning the things they bought with their money. When you give them money, it becomes their money, not yours anymore
Not a parent, but the advice was excellent! Great content! Thanks Mel! And I would vote for once-a-week advice section from Oakley. He did a great job!
Mel. 1question ! Why when I feel alone I feel sad depressed I feel like I've been kidnapped.
To be honest, I thought my family was more important than friends. I looked up to them the most as a teen actually, also since they’ve dealt with adult things that I could ask advice for since I was young. My friends wouldn’t know much about adulthood. Just throwing something out there.
Fuck. I wasn’t gonna cry today. I have 2 amazing daughters and the “photo” portion of this just hit me in the gut.
Wow God just put you on, God and Jesus and my angels, thamk you so much🌻🐝🥑🔥🌲💛🌸🌻😇💚I never even knew about you until this morning wow that was God
Mel, you’re my new mommy now.
First of all we didn't have a say so back then...our parents said what it was and that's what it is. I understand that we are all individuals but also understand that kids are kids for a reason and that they dont know Jack crap 🤣🤣. That's what's wrong with the world now is we've given kids more power then they deserve or are capable of handling.
Yes kids are young and Naïve but they still need encouragement to tackle things they are not competent in yet. Giving them things to be responsible for, starting small then eventually bigger things like a car, help cultivate confidence in themselves, making them more competent and independent. Discouragement for taking on responsibilities is just about the worst thing you can you to a child. If parents truly care about their child’s growth they would know that kids deserve to always be taking on more responsibility even if it makes the parent nervous, we just gotta accept they might not do things the right way the first time. I have to respectfully disagree, its not about “power” its about responsibility and respect. Children dont owe their parents anything, parents have children accepting all of the sacrifice that will come with the children. When we give children our resources, those resources are now theirs and we have to accept that they can do anything they want with them, no matter the outcome. Detachment from outcome and unconditional love is what our children need now more than ever.
Him parents need the abbreviated version/ what parent has 3 hrs? Just sayin
This must be taught to Indian parents. Indian parenting is the opposite.
I have had parents who have always treated me like they owned me. They even tried to force me into marriage and bad-mouth me when I refused. They bad-mouthed all my good decisions and creative pursuits in life.
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Heh, I just a pet for "It", she hate cats, so born a baby, I hate my mother. I am near 40, trying, but nearly impossible to adapt in life as a independent human, Russia destroyed anyway.
That's the definition of entitlement. Not accepting no as a answer.
Saying because " I say so" is the same as " of course, we won the argument".
This is insane
I thought she was Cathy Woods with blonde hair.
okay it is probably nonsecnce buy why are you chatting on this level, but why are you not wearing a safety restrain? As an older and I mean older person who has seen a lot of young men die in single person accidents I am asking why you, you are showing no safety harness in life? that bloody lost me. nope you say one thing but do not follow it through. nah girl sorry not going to happen
Hey Mel! So any hardship when your a child eg: (Family Bereavement, homelessness, poverty) can be aimed back at yourself and then be carried as anxiety into adulthood? It doesn’t just have to be Molestation or the usual childhood traumas?
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