Trying To Date An Aromantic Person? Let’s See If You Should
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
- Trying to date an aromantic person? Watch this first because you probably need to learn some stuff about aromantics when it comes to dating. And some signs that you should stop pursuing certain kinds of aromantic people (since aromanticism is a spectrum )
-i accidentally said aromantic asexual in the beginning so ignore that. I Meant only aromantic lol -
My instagram is: bmud.angel
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Something to add -- you don't have to be demironantic or greyromantic to be interested in partnerships
Allos usually need two things for a romantictic relationship -- attraction and compatibility. But what do you do if you never feel attraction, but still want the benefits of a long-term partnership?
Green-stripe aros (a.k.a. aros that never feel romantic attraction) can still pursue relationships, and just make their decisions based on compatibility rather than attraction. Some like to call themselves cupioromantic
It's a frustration of mine when people say things like "oh yeah some aros can date, like demis and greyros." Demis and greyros are valid of course, but statements like these imply that you still need some level of romantic attraction to date, which is simply untrue. Attraction =/= action
I have a suspicion that there are a lot more romance-favourable aros out there than we realize, but they think that they can't be aro because they want a partner. Or they think that simply wanting a partner makes them demi or greyro. It's a really harmful misconception, and it disappoints me how often I see other aros perpetuating it
This is a really good point!
@@bmudangel Aw thank you
Maybe it's not a question of whether or not an aro CAN date but whether or not they WANT to date, and also, some people have Queer Platonic relationships without romance and or sex. It's really up to the person what kind of feelings they experience and what they want. Personally, I do not want a romantic or sexual relationship just to have one. Honestly, I'm perfectly happy with a lifetime supply of romantic fan fiction. I have family, friends, community, a steady income, a roof over my head, ambitions, pastimes, and all different sources of inner joy I can appreciate. I don't need a partner to "fulfill" or "complete" me.
@@christineburk4026 Yeah, many aros aren't interested in dating, and that's perfectly valid. That doesn't contradict anything I said though, and I'm confused on how that has anything to do with my comment
Honestly this isn't just great advice for trying to date an aromatic person, it's great advice if you want to date anyone.
I've been in a queerplatonic marriage for almost 7 years. I'm aro, they're ace. We're constantly chasing each other's tails.
In all seriousness, though, I'm more romance-neutral and they're sex-neutral or sex-repulsed depending on how they feel. I do romantic things (when I remember that people have romantic needs), but mostly I show my love with cooking. We meet each other's needs really well, and I think the main reason we can make it work is with clear communication of our needs. Concise. Never forcing the other person to "read between the lines".
This video was really fun and funny. I love your sense of humor! Good work with the sound and picture quality, too!
Thank you for sharing your experience with us! Hopefully it will inspire those who want to be in a qpr and know it can be done ❤️
And thanks sm :)
I love consuming aro content. I'm kind of in a weird place where I like some romantic things but not others. But also "romantic" gestures/actions don't compute as romantic to me. So my dating problems stem from the fact that my partner would feel romantic feelings towards me but I could never reciprocate and I felt guilty about it.
However, I enjoy physical affection and adult activities, which kinda makes it hard to relate to a lot of aro content since aro and ace get lumped together so often, and I don't identify a whole lot with the ace experience. But I love seeing aro focused content!
I’ll try to make more aro focused content !
wanted to pop in and say i'm the same way!! i also enjoy a lot of things that usually compute as "romantic" to people, but don't seem to compute that way for me. feels good to know i'm not alone (:
i'm asexual and i just wanted to watch this video to see what's it's like on the "opposite"/"inverse" side of the spectrum. this was a cool video! and pretty funny :) thanks for uploading it
Appreciate you broadening your horizons and THANKS SM
SAME
i'm aroace and my first ever partner is SO so understanding of it. honestly, feels like i met the one! they are so kind and patient, i can't believe they're real
That's so comforting seeing another aro person on the internet, I live in Ukraine and there are really low chances to meet someone like me, I'm really glad that I found such a cool creator!!
THANKS and Yeah meeting another aro in the wild is like meeting a unicorn lol.
Be safe ❤
@@ijustneedmyself Thank you! 💝
As a Ukrainian aro myself, I can relate. It’s really hard to find someone like me and befriend them. I am, like, the only aro I know in person
I think it's also important to remember; that just because someone is aro, doesn't mean they're not ace.
I only say this cuz I'm sure plenty of people have been like: Oh, no romance? But what if ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
And it's like... I mean I guess. But like, idk maybe, ask, them first? 😑 If they don't wanna answer, leave em alone with the intimate questions.
There's not some "hidden meaning", or "secret way", to suddenly unlock their affection. Like bro(gender neutral), quit it with shit. Respect people's boundaries. ✌️
I understand *romance-positive* as someone who doesn't feel comfortable doing romantic things but still likes romantic things in the media, while *romance-favorable* is someone who doesn't mind and like doing romantic things feeling romantic attraction or no attraction at all.
So, I'm aegoromantic, I'm romance-positive but romance-repulsed, I love romantic interpretations in the media, but in practice and real life it's a terrible situation.
*THEN:*
*Behavior: (romance-Repulsive < romance-Indifferent > romance-Favorable)*
*Personal taste: (romance-negative < romance-neutral > romance-positive)*
These nomenclatures can be very confusing for some people in the community if don't include just one meaning, they can't be the same things, it's confusing to add many words to just one meaning.
In the same way that there are asexual people who like porn, who into bdsm and have fetishes, but do not like/hate sex, only have sex to make their partner satisfied because they themselves are indifferent or are not sexually attracted to the people who are performing the act (generally attracted to the object or other stimulus), It makes you realize how complex people are.
I love the complexity of humans
as an aroace i love this viodeo sm lmaoooo i love ur humor
THANKS SM ❤️ and yeah same. Especially if your an aro who love language is physical affection, a qpr would be nice
I feel this, I want this but it's too hard to explain or ask, ☹️
I feel almost the same way! I label myself as cupioromantic, because I like to be able to name and label my feelings :)
have you looked into being lithromantic? I think it would fit the description of your feelings really well!
BRO SAME
qpr's seem so nice. i don't think i have the self dignity to allow myself to have one for some reason, lmaoao
Before I knew I was aro, one of my friends asked if I wanted to be in a relationship with them, and it became complicated lol. This is on me for not just saying “no”, I instead made a list of reasons why it probably wouldn’t work out, and they pretty much insisted that they could deal with all those things. The fact that they said it was okay if I said no but they would be really disappointed did not help lol, I get guilt-tripped so easily.
In the end, we agreed to be in a qpr just for the summer (I think I did like them in an alterous way) and - this is also on me for not really explaining what a qpr is - it was pretty clear that they saw it as a romantic summer relationship. 0 communication. I know they had good intentions but it really felt like the normal romantic things were *expected* of me and I had to try to go along with it despite being extremely uncomfortable, which is not what a qpr (or romantic relationship for that matter) is supposed to be like. Really just typical teenage relationship dumb behavior lol
Moral of the story: I know it’s hard to overcome people-pleasing tendencies but please don’t ignore your boundaries. On the other side of things, if your partner doesn’t seem comfortable with certain things and literally doesn’t even reciprocate because they’re freezing up, you should probably have a conversation about it. Take the hint, maybe they’re afraid to say something.
my girlfriend is aro-flux and I am a very romantic and clingy individual. I'm scared that sometimes it overwhelms her. We've spoken about it in the past, but I'm still not completely sure where she stands or what she's comfortable with. It's really hard but it has been worth it.
A lot of aro ppl can be fine with that sort of attention and maybe even enjoy it to an extent. If your gf says theyre fine with it , believe them. And be sure to communicate about it every one in a while if what you’re doing is okay, as you probably would in any relationship. Ofc don’t ask too many times in short periods but communicate about it every now and then to make sure you guys are on the same page.
I don't have a horror story nor success story, but i wanted to say that i love your vids and humor, i'm always watching them with a smile on my face. 💜🖤💚
Thanks so much! 🥹❤️
as an aromantic person, i often realize that people sometimes see acts of kindness as flirtation or interest and i dont know what to do? like i like being thoughtful to others without the strings attached. i dont want to be a bitch but i also dont want to unknowingly lead people on. ive carried (what i had thought to be) jokes with people that understand it the complete different way. im just not sure what to do sometimes 🤷♀
ive never met someone whos aro, but i was still curious so i decided to give this a watch, and as someone desperate for a relationship it was cool to see the other side of things.
I recently came out as Demi-Romantic a few months ago 😊. Love your content 🫶🏾
Thank you!! 😊
Im chronically demisexual and I enjoy this content dearly
I came out as bi years ago and I'm just recently coming to terms that I might be aro or ace? 😭 Like I've never really tried to think about it too much because the peers that I have are either in romantic relationships or desperately crave to be in one. I thought it would just naturally come to me, however as I've grown older, I feel like I've distanced more from feeling romantic attraction, and often feel tired when it's constantly being brought into discussions. Whenever I tried to voice this howevever, I'm always met with a "you just haven't found the right person yet." And for a while I believed that.
But now I'm starting to accept that maybe it's not just for me babes 😭 and even though I don't value romance, I still crave for companionship, whether that be with my friends, family or a potential lover. Being confused about this for a long time has made it difficult for me to navigate and properly understand my feelings on potential partnerships. But yeah, I'm on a new road of self-discovery so we'll see how this goes :)))
hello, aroace here. my first and only bf was a childhood friend. i was pretty sure he liked me, despite my low self esteem back then. i used to enjoy the idea of romance quite a lot but had never wanted to be part of it. he initiated everything, and i went along with it, because i adore him just as much as any other friend and wanted him to feel respected. stupid move since literally everything romantic we did made me want to barf. i got confused because i wanted to like him. couldn‘t though. i found your account. we‘re just friends now and he seems to be doing ok. thanks for helping me understand myself and good afternoon
Watching your videos makes me feel a lot better about being aromantic after a loooooonnggg struggle with accepting my aromantism so thank you 💜🖤 💚
Thank you ! I’m glad I could help
Love your sense of humor! 😂
Got any aromantic dating success or horror stories lol ?
Not really a dating story but when I was in first grade I thought I had a crush on this guy, but I didn't want him to like me back. I thought it was because my parents wouldn't like me dating in first grade. Now when I think about it, I didn't have a crush on him we were just really similar.
Yk I had to check myself multiple times in school when I thought the same thing. Thinking I liked someone but rlly it was just platonic or I just thought they were cool and I wanted to be their friend
not exactly a horror or dating but i when i was younger ppl (esp adults) would asssume weirdly romantic things abput me when i would hang out with boys as friends "omg you two are so gf and bf !!" "awww so cute kiss her on the cheek" "theyre gonna get married" like it made me genuinly so uncomfortable and i just wanted to have a close friend, a girl or boy or neither. i just hate heteronormativity lmaooo
i feel like because of these experiences, to this day, i feel less uncomfy being close friends with non men then men, i just dont want ppl to assume things 😔
Yeah that’s the worst man. I have no idea why adults do that cuz I’m an adult now but i remember that pure embarrassment of people assuming relationships. Even more embarrassing as an aro kid who just wants to have friends.
Multiple horror stories. So many unrequited feelings. Something about people who do not like me at all is very attractive to me. Im always respectful, but damn is it hard on my mental wellbeing.
Hard to find someone who understand aromantic
I'm not aroace or anywhere on that spectrum but I've been watching videos on asexual videos and it very interesting I've learned alot about that stuff :3 nice video btw
Thanks!
Honestly me saying well Im aroace I won't want you and The Man saying that I'm not bc he's seen how i'm singing and I'm too passionate. Like bro do you really wanna gaslight me into having feelings.
I'm aro and polyamorous
Love my partners
(Got one queerplatonic partner and one soft-romo partner)
Specifically, I'm aroflux
But yeah I love them to bits, whether in the moment it's platonic or romantic or alterous love
There have definitely been moments where I'm romance repulsed, but then it'll become romance positive later on lol
It's confusing, man
Like, my brain is like "EW DATING" but then is like "brbrbrbrbr wuv wuv wuv wuv" like ?????
But the best part is both my partners are also a-spec, so they 100% understand
RIP Godzilla
Thanks for this vid 💚🤍🖤
I appreciate your share. It's actually the only video I've found on the topic. Anyway, what I want to say, is that I don't think all the people who are under the lgbtq+ are only all about lgbtq+. And if someone actually is aromantic, he/she/they never felt a romantic attraction to someone else, the person don't understand love, can't even really understand what would it be inside them, how could this person say at what point on the spectrum are they? And first of all. Why would they bother to spend hours to find out? Someone is not interested in the topic, right? Might be, if he/she/they find a right person, might want to create a romantic relationship in the future. Person just doesn't know by defoult and if you're like 25, you still might be not sure what the future brings.
All the best for you, cheers.
Cheers
Meanwhile my cupioro ass trying to figure out how to get into an alterous relationship
edit: I’m bellusromantic
im also cupioro >:3
@@jhaneilbarnett1451 yayyy :3 I figured out, that I’m bellusromantic it’s really similar tho lol
@iupiter.161 ... would it be a funny thing to say that I might realize I'm bellusromantic through this comment.... 😭🤚@@iupiter.161
I didn't realize what it was and I was very comphet to think I wanted a relationship romantically
....
But after a realization and thus comment
I think I'm bellusromantic
@@jhaneilbarnett1451 yayyy I love that you could discover that about yourself! :))
And if the possible refuses to talk of the topic and is in denial/fear of anything other than allo ... don't force it. Friend it is until/if they're ready
6:17 LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT LMFAOOOOO
Could shoes be considered tables for ants? 🤔 /j
If you need to feel loved: DON'T
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