Girl, when I realised that I did not have to suffer like I was so someone can marry me, my decenter men journey started. I wrote a book called Journey to Wholeness, learning to value myself as a single lady. Yes women are valuable outside of a man putting a claim on them.
I used to be obsessed w men. I've finally gotten to where I'm like meh. I want to be obsessed with myself for once. Obsessed with creating and selling art. Not for fame or money just for the feeling and experience. I used to love making art. Thanks for the encouraging video.
You spoke facts! I think once women truly develop this mindset, it will bring us peace, like TRUE internal peace. Let life flow and live in your purpose.
I have always found that when I'm interested in something, fully engaged in life and happy, that's when a man comes into it. Not all of the relationships worked out, but I noticed that when I wasn't thinking about men was when they'd show up. I finally realized that my energy was more vibrant, during those times, and that energy attracted people. Desperate women repels. Positive, creative and free energy attracts. When you're excited about life, people notice.
This!! Do you become more rigid with your standards and so no to a relationship when they come or do you welcome it? I asked God for very specific signs in a man that will let me know he's Godsent. In the meantime, I promised myself to enjoy my life and fall in love with myself 😊
I am on the same journey. I have always put men and being in a relationship before myself and I have been in several emotionally abusive and draining relationships with men that did not deserve my time and attention. I am so happy to have discovered decentering men and I am now giving more love to myself by reading more, learning Italian, baking, focusing on my career, travelling and being present to my family. Good luck to you and all the other beautiful women on this wonderful journey! 💫
I'm nineteen, this year i turn twenty. I have spent the last few years of my life with the sole purpose of gaining validation from men. I realized that I had neglected my friends and family, but also my goals. That all changed when I ended my last relationship and deleted social media. it's as if I've woken up from a deep sleep. I feel guilty about how I invalidated myself and allowed myself to be treated, and who I was with. I gave importance to people who were worthless. I hope I can forgive myself one day. (since I started my healing journey I always see the number 11:11, I perceive it as a sign that I am on the right path, and I saw your tattoo💞)
Omg that’s my number too 💕 sending you so much love and support on your journey! I’m so proud of you and it’s such a blessing that you have discovered this so young! 💖 I’m happy for you! And you will forgive yourself I promise. You didn’t know what you didn’t know. Give your self grace 🙏🏾
❤THIS!! When I say God is speaking thru you 🙏🏾 bc your message is right on time! Lately I’ve been feeling so convicted bc my spirit is wanting to just focus on me for once and make for all the lost time I spent focusing and being for men. I’m learning to love myself and pour into me. I want to build my business, finish these courses, remain abstinent and cleanse my body. And it’s crazy bc I feel and want all of these things for myself but then feel bad for it, like not wanting a man is somehow wrong. You know. So, thank you again for speaking this life into me sis 🙏🏾❤️ you and your message just serves as confirmation that this is a good thing and it’s very much necessary ❤️ can’t wait to see your next video!
Thank you so much! 😊❤️ you are on the right track friend! Keep listening to your heart and your intuition and trust that you always know what’s best for you!!
first of all, you’re absolutely sooo gorgeous…. Second, Thank you so much bc ive been trying to find someone to relate to and i found your channel… im 19 and ever since I was 12 i’ve been all about boys and being kind of lonely for the past two years made me realize how I need to find something more substantial than relationships bc it has never fulfilled me, it only left me broken everytime…
You're a young lady with plenty of time to find the right one, concentrate on your education, job, hobbies , travel and have fun living your life and you'll be just fine. I'm 44 and it took me awhile to learn that men will always be there but you come first❤
For myself, it has been different. I feel that losing parents early in life has changed this concept of centering men. I understand the version who I was who didn't care about dating because my parents were my everything, has morphed into this person who is battling grief and love. I was in two relationships that gave me really strong life lessons after the dust had settled. I realized not being in touch with one's emotions would have an individual lost and spiraling for acceptance, safety, and love for not the right situations. This is a topic I feel that should be discussed, too. I am sure there are others who are going through something similar. I have always preferred my own company because it was a choice. Now that it is not a choice, it is something I am learning to adapt to again,literally for me. There are times I think about sharing my life still with someone, for now I'm truly embracing what it is like to be single, and to embark on a parentless life, while working on being my support system, and cheerleader with the help of God. Amani girl, you got this! 🙏🏾❤💐🦋
I scrolled past this video assuming it was one of those angry black woman celibacy journeys... come to find out. I'm on a similar path. Lol just haven't labeled it "decentering men". I appreciate this video. Many jewels you shared that compliment my path ❤
😂😂 at least u know there’s lots of them .. this one’s is nicer but kinda coping mechanism as well … we also need to make good choices in men and relationships cos I’m tired of hearing all these I was in toxic relationship bla bla bla
Being on a spiritual journey for myself, I learned a lot about myself. I learned the best thing for myself is self care and self love. Because I am my own person . I can travel if I choose too. I can do many task if I choose too
Great Video Amani! Please make more videos in this series. Women need to hear more specifics about how they can give to themselves the love they are seeking from poor quality men that don't deserve them! When they turn that energy inward toward themselves it is truly life changing!
I feel like we are the same person 😅 I lose myself in relationships too! My therapist who I’ve seen on and off for 10+ yrs has told me the same as yours! I decentered from men at 34 after a difficult toxic relationship. Up until then I hadn’t been single since high school. I will be 38 soon and I really enjoy my peace and I’m learning to love myself ❤️
New Subbie! Loved the vid, I’m on a similar journey just turned 31 a few weeks ago and I just want to focus on me and better myself and level up and not focus on men or relationships, when the time is right the right man will come until then we are loving ourselves, growing and having fun as well! Thank you for sharing, sending good energy and wishing you blessings on your journey! 😊
I LOVE this!! ❤ currently on my journey of de-centering men and it feels so good to be anxiety and stress free. I feel so fortunate to be on this journey.
I spent a year decentering men and relationships and I LOVED IT! Came out of it looking for love and felt like I undid all the work I had done! It’s definitely time for a redo!
I love this! This video appeared on my path just in time!!! Sending love and blessings to everyone on their healing journey. Life is fleeting, let’s spend it appreciating the one who will be with us till the end - ourselves m.
Thank u! Thank u! I really needed to hear this confirmation because I am going through this situation right now. I am learning to love me and to get to know myself. It's been a long and hard journey but I am excited about my future 🥰
Girl you are so beautiful and to see that me and you went through similar situations really breaks my heart. I feel like this video opened my mind up even more about myself and confirmed something I’ve been trying to figure out for a while. Thank you for this video 🫶🏾✨
Beautiful, thank you so much for your vulnerability. This whole convo has been inspiring. Also the background decorations are aesthetically pleasing. I loveee your cats name. Seems so fitting.
Your therapist is the GOAT. I asked myself those exact same questions a few months ago. It was TOUGH!!! That realization sucked, but I’m grateful for it. Im unraveling a lot of beliefs about EVERYTHING we’ve been fed our whole lives. Lucky me. Btw the color of that top looks greaaaaat on you 😍
8:26-8:49 not only that but great point! We cannot control it cause most marriages end up in over dtrawn out separations (too lazy or cheap to divorce ir hiding from the church etc.), many engagements are drawn out til ge stops using her as a placeholder, or leaves for someone new and marries, im not being a pessimist (just being honest! 👀🧐🤔
Happy Belated Birthday! I have never heard of it. I've never really date. I've stay with my childrens father. Letting him leave and come back whenever he wanted. I'm tried of the disrespect and feeling this way. Praying for a change. I know deep down that begins with me. I really don't know why I keep excepting it.
YOUR LIPS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. So pink and you have, what we called "natural lip liner" ...back in the day when I worked at the MAC counter. You're a lovely young lady Amani!
Hey Amani, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
5:30 I appreciate you. Just wanna know what that actually means . Losing one’s self & abandoning oneself for the other… I don’t understand pls enlighten thanks … is it by being unselfish and thinking of or caring for someone else as well? Is that a bad thing ?
2 месяца назад
This ungodly mindset... de-centering men. Totally against nature, and embracing narcissism. With a proud smile. I guess the teachings of Alistair Crawley is in effect - "Do what thy will shall be the law".
What’s ungodly about encouraging women to love themselves and not make a man the center of their life? Should god be the center of our lives by your own logic? Wouldn’t making men an idol be against the teachings of god?
Imagine being on your death bed and only being able to say that you have a wife and some kids? Never knowing yourself or being self actualized. Not knowing or figuring out your true interests etc… - nah
I saw this will 111 comments. Thank you for this video!! It was absolutely amazing and confirmation of my current phase and path. We definitely got this 🤍
![KAYTRANADA - Witchy (feat. Childish Gambino) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/jGK3YVmGZ3Y/mqdefault.jpg)
Girl, when I realised that I did not have to suffer like I was so someone can marry me, my decenter men journey started.
I wrote a book called Journey to Wholeness, learning to value myself as a single lady. Yes women are valuable outside of a man putting a claim on them.
Oooo I’ll definitely check your book out!
I used to be obsessed w men. I've finally gotten to where I'm like meh. I want to be obsessed with myself for once. Obsessed with creating and selling art. Not for fame or money just for the feeling and experience. I used to love making art. Thanks for the encouraging video.
Your welcome ❤️ sending you love and support on your journey!
Same!
Same, girl. Enjoy the journey!
This!! Same here. I finally picked my camera back up and recently started photographing again. Good luck with your art journey!
You spoke facts! I think once women truly develop this mindset, it will bring us peace, like TRUE internal peace. Let life flow and live in your purpose.
Thank you! Yes it’s time we put ourselves first!
@@Amanijwells The hard truth is no one else will. 🙏🏾❤️
Nah it just leaves us women who want love all alone and it sucks
I have always found that when I'm interested in something, fully engaged in life and happy, that's when a man comes into it. Not all of the relationships worked out, but I noticed that when I wasn't thinking about men was when they'd show up. I finally realized that my energy was more vibrant, during those times, and that energy attracted people. Desperate women repels. Positive, creative and free energy attracts. When you're excited about life, people notice.
This!! Do you become more rigid with your standards and so no to a relationship when they come or do you welcome it? I asked God for very specific signs in a man that will let me know he's Godsent. In the meantime, I promised myself to enjoy my life and fall in love with myself 😊
This is facts! 💯
I noticed since I been man less my acne been clearing up
That will happen 🤣
Less stress!!
I love that part, “marriage is not a goal most women can control.” That is so powerful. Thank you for that
Your welcome ❤️❤️
I am on the same journey. I have always put men and being in a relationship before myself and I have been in several emotionally abusive and draining relationships with men that did not deserve my time and attention.
I am so happy to have discovered decentering men and I am now giving more love to myself by reading more, learning Italian, baking, focusing on my career, travelling and being present to my family.
Good luck to you and all the other beautiful women on this wonderful journey! 💫
Good luck on your journey too queen ❤️💖 proud of you!
I'm nineteen, this year i turn twenty. I have spent the last few years of my life with the sole purpose of gaining validation from men. I realized that I had neglected my friends and family, but also my goals. That all changed when I ended my last relationship and deleted social media. it's as if I've woken up from a deep sleep. I feel guilty about how I invalidated myself and allowed myself to be treated, and who I was with. I gave importance to people who were worthless. I hope I can forgive myself one day. (since I started my healing journey I always see the number 11:11, I perceive it as a sign that I am on the right path, and I saw your tattoo💞)
Omg that’s my number too 💕 sending you so much love and support on your journey! I’m so proud of you and it’s such a blessing that you have discovered this so young! 💖 I’m happy for you! And you will forgive yourself I promise. You didn’t know what you didn’t know. Give your self grace 🙏🏾
It’s also a sense of maturity when you find your voice and your evolving identity
Society teaches that! We gotta unlearn it! Eg. Cinderella!
I don't know if a guy can convince me to give up my freedom now
Lmao sammmeee
Same!
❤THIS!! When I say God is speaking thru you 🙏🏾 bc your message is right on time! Lately I’ve been feeling so convicted bc my spirit is wanting to just focus on me for once and make for all the lost time I spent focusing and being for men. I’m learning to love myself and pour into me. I want to build my business, finish these courses, remain abstinent and cleanse my body. And it’s crazy bc I feel and want all of these things for myself but then feel bad for it, like not wanting a man is somehow wrong. You know. So, thank you again for speaking this life into me sis 🙏🏾❤️ you and your message just serves as confirmation that this is a good thing and it’s very much necessary ❤️ can’t wait to see your next video!
Thank you so much! 😊❤️ you are on the right track friend! Keep listening to your heart and your intuition and trust that you always know what’s best for you!!
first of all, you’re absolutely sooo gorgeous…. Second, Thank you so much bc ive been trying to find someone to relate to and i found your channel… im 19 and ever since I was 12 i’ve been all about boys and being kind of lonely for the past two years made me realize how I need to find something more substantial than relationships bc it has never fulfilled me, it only left me broken everytime…
You're a young lady with plenty of time to find the right one, concentrate on your education, job, hobbies , travel and have fun living your life and you'll be just fine. I'm 44 and it took me awhile to learn that men will always be there but you come first❤
Thank you ❤️😊 I’m so glad you made your way here!
For myself, it has been different. I feel that losing parents early in life has changed this concept of centering men. I understand the version who I was who didn't care about dating because my parents were my everything, has morphed into this person who is battling grief and love. I was in two relationships that gave me really strong life lessons after the dust had settled. I realized not being in touch with one's emotions would have an individual lost and spiraling for acceptance, safety, and love for not the right situations. This is a topic I feel that should be discussed, too. I am sure there are others who are going through something similar. I have always preferred my own company because it was a choice. Now that it is not a choice, it is something I am learning to adapt to again,literally for me. There are times I think about sharing my life still with someone, for now I'm truly embracing what it is like to be single, and to embark on a parentless life, while working on being my support system, and cheerleader with the help of God. Amani girl, you got this! 🙏🏾❤💐🦋
Sending you love Queen! ❤️💖 I lost a parent to so I know exactly how you’re feeling! We got this ❤️
We are together in this journey
I scrolled past this video assuming it was one of those angry black woman celibacy journeys... come to find out. I'm on a similar path. Lol just haven't labeled it "decentering men". I appreciate this video. Many jewels you shared that compliment my path ❤
😂😂 at least u know there’s lots of them .. this one’s is nicer but kinda coping mechanism as well … we also need to make good choices in men and relationships cos I’m tired of hearing all these I was in toxic relationship bla bla bla
Being on a spiritual journey for myself, I learned a lot about myself. I learned the best thing for myself is self care and self love. Because I am my own person . I can travel if I choose too. I can do many task if I choose too
The eloquence and truth in the intro is top tier. You have a powerful and necessary message. The very best to you.
Thank you so much ❤️🙏🏾❤️
Great Video Amani!
Please make more videos in this series.
Women need to hear more specifics about how they can give to themselves the love they are seeking from poor quality men that don't deserve them!
When they turn that energy inward toward themselves it is truly life changing!
Thank you!! ❤️❤️
Girl I am realizing this too and so happy to embark on this journey. For the first time in my life, I am desiring to pour into me 💯.
Love this for you!!
I feel like we are the same person 😅 I lose myself in relationships too! My therapist who I’ve seen on and off for 10+ yrs has told me the same as yours! I decentered from men at 34 after a difficult toxic relationship. Up until then I hadn’t been single since high school. I will be 38 soon and I really enjoy my peace and I’m learning to love myself ❤️
Twinsies ❤️👯♀️
New Subbie! Loved the vid, I’m on a similar journey just turned 31 a few weeks ago and I just want to focus on me and better myself and level up and not focus on men or relationships, when the time is right the right man will come until then we are loving ourselves, growing and having fun as well! Thank you for sharing, sending good energy and wishing you blessings on your journey! 😊
Thank you queen! Sending you love on your journey as well 😊
Happy belated birthday. Your a few months older than my daughter.❤
I LOVE this!! ❤ currently on my journey of de-centering men and it feels so good to be anxiety and stress free. I feel so fortunate to be on this journey.
@@Melaninqueens_read wishing you the best on your journey 🥰❤️
I spent a year decentering men and relationships and I LOVED IT! Came out of it looking for love and felt like I undid all the work I had done! It’s definitely time for a redo!
@@apeaceofdom252 you got this 🩷
First time hearing this. Decentering Men. I'm married and I'm going to try this. Thanks for sharing. New sub
Welcome ❤❤❤
I love this! This video appeared on my path just in time!!! Sending love and blessings to everyone on their healing journey. Life is fleeting, let’s spend it appreciating the one who will be with us till the end - ourselves m.
Thank you queen! I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤️ yes let’s!
Thank you for your vulnerability🫶🏽 it was informative and straight to the point 🙏🏾
So good. Resonates with my thinking and what I have gone through as well.
Glad it was helpful!❤️
And it feels good to say no to them ❤❤❤
Sure does 🤣
Thank you for sharing for truth & journey! I just turned 20 and having been on this journey of connecting with myself on a deeper level
Aaannnd subscribed ❤
I LOVE that term, “decentering men.” It’s a concept I’ve discussed with other women, but never named or had a specific name for. Thanks! 😉👌🏽
You’re welcome 🥰
Just now found your channel and am loving it already. Decentering men videos are so needed.👏🏻
Thank you!! More to come ❤❤❤
@@Amanijwells please do!💕
Friend I haven’t even watched but I already know this finna be good.
Thank u! Thank u! I really needed to hear this confirmation because I am going through this situation right now. I am learning to love me and to get to know myself. It's been a long and hard journey but I am excited about my future 🥰
I’m happy for you ❤️🥰
Girl you are so beautiful and to see that me and you went through similar situations really breaks my heart. I feel like this video opened my mind up even more about myself and confirmed something I’ve been trying to figure out for a while. Thank you for this video 🫶🏾✨
@@_jazzydre_ thank you my love ❤️❤️ I’m glad this video was able to help! Wishing you the absolute best on your joinery 🫶🏾✨
@@Amanijwells thank you so much 🫶🏾
Beautiful, thank you so much for your vulnerability. This whole convo has been inspiring. Also the background decorations are aesthetically pleasing. I loveee your cats name. Seems so fitting.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
No one has articulate anything so close to my experiences as this. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I love this video. Super encouraging 👏
Loveeee this ! Starting my journey ✨
This was right on time thank you for sharing your experience. I’m also on this journey.
Im going on this journey with you Sis
You got this!
Proud of you ❤❤❤
Thank you for this message sista ❤ we needed to hear this!
❤❤
You’re so pretty
Thank you 🥹❤️
Your therapist is the GOAT. I asked myself those exact same questions a few months ago. It was TOUGH!!! That realization sucked, but I’m grateful for it. Im unraveling a lot of beliefs about EVERYTHING we’ve been fed our whole lives. Lucky me. Btw the color of that top looks greaaaaat on you 😍
Thank you 😊❤️❤️❤️ we having breakthroughs!
This was so beautiful and timely, thank you ❤
You're so welcome!
This was a wonderful video. Thank you for your transparency and inspiration
❤️❤️❤️
8:26-8:49 not only that but great point! We cannot control it cause most marriages end up in over dtrawn out separations (too lazy or cheap to divorce ir hiding from the church etc.), many engagements are drawn out til ge stops using her as a placeholder, or leaves for someone new and marries, im not being a pessimist (just being honest! 👀🧐🤔
love this take.
Bravo well said.
All about me In a kind and respectful way. There is only the relationship with you.
Thank you! I needed this. This was nourishing to my soul❤
You are so welcome❤️
Happy belated birthday 🥳
Happy Belated Birthday! I have never heard of it. I've never really date. I've stay with my childrens father. Letting him leave and come back whenever he wanted. I'm tried of the disrespect and feeling this way. Praying for a change. I know deep down that begins with me. I really don't know why I keep excepting it.
Baby steps sister ❤️ the first step is knowing you want something to change and you’re already there!
14:28-14:58 ooh child! 😊❤
Go on, boo. Cook❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Sooo good ❤
Thank you ❤❤
YOUR LIPS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. So pink and you have, what we called "natural lip liner" ...back in the day when I worked at the MAC counter. You're a lovely young lady Amani!
Yes I’ve haven’t went on a date or anything for 6 months…. It gets easier and yes it’s peaceful!
Loved this!
Thank you 😊
❤❤❤❤
I’m with it ❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
This is good sis! 😊
New subscriber here.💜💜
@@tashannabrown1 welcome 🥰
Happy birthday!🥳
Hey Amani, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
5:30 I appreciate you. Just wanna know what that actually means . Losing one’s self & abandoning oneself for the other… I don’t understand pls enlighten thanks … is it by being unselfish and thinking of or caring for someone else as well? Is that a bad thing ?
This ungodly mindset... de-centering men. Totally against nature, and embracing narcissism. With a proud smile. I guess the teachings of Alistair Crawley is in effect - "Do what thy will shall be the law".
What’s ungodly about encouraging women to love themselves and not make a man the center of their life? Should god be the center of our lives by your own logic? Wouldn’t making men an idol be against the teachings of god?
BTW I am new to your channel channel
13:38 -13:41 huh God told.you have another 50/60 years?.
❤
Imagine being on your death bed and only being able to say that you have a wife and some kids? Never knowing yourself or being self actualized. Not knowing or figuring out your true interests etc…
- nah
🎯🎯🎯
I agree but also disagree
I saw this will 111 comments. Thank you for this video!! It was absolutely amazing and confirmation of my current phase and path.
We definitely got this 🤍