the other 10% are extremely costly and drawn-out gags, like when he actually did the clown car joke or how he told everyone he was moving to Las Vegas and then just didnt
Imagine, this: You found a new bowling alley on Google maps near your home, and you ask your friends to go there. In the location, there is just a normal home. You knock, and some random werid guy invites you to a mall inside his house. You see some shops with cashiers all angry and bored, because there is not enough place for their shop to function, but brand owners still rent the rooms for cheap prices. Werid guy shows you the garage, and you see terrible alley made from stacked catalouges and some wooden boards, and the guy just goes back upstairs and falls alseep on a bed near the stairs...
But you find that, while it is certainly weird, this Jermall, as the owner called it, is oddly comforting. At least compared to the spider-like scurrying you hear in the middle of the night, when its HIS feeding time.
@@maximuffin6395 I thought you said "cat" instead of "car" when I read that the first time, and got so damn confused why you would need 'cat' insurance, how it would get covered in paint, and how it could be "totaled" in any case...
The only employee in the entire mall is jerma, running frantically to each store cash register to service it for 5 seconds before running to the next store over.
And then he kills and murders his neighbours, makes their houses into malls as well and then interconnects them all in a huge mall network underground In the final movie scene the police should find that guy together with his mall mafia accomplices all dead 150 meters deep into the network because they have lost map of that place
>installs electrical socket >immediately covers it with cabinet >cabinet isn't flush with the rest of the sink Jerma, for the love of God, you're killing me
I love how he spent all that time putting out the paint pots to take a screenshot and use as the sign when he could have just taken literally any actual picture of ice cream flavours in like 30 seconds
7:17, fun fact is that Empyrean (The devs behind this game) are also making a game where you're a person tasked with cleaning up the evidence of murder or crime scenes. So yeah
Hold up those blood splatters are lifted straight from Viscera Cleanup Detail. I've made custom maps with it's engine and those are the exact same textures.
@@thesuperpunmaster6369 yeah, lots of games use assets from other places. You can hear a TON of Valve's noises and sound affects in other games and sometimes other media like movies or ads, especially ones from Half Life 2
Jerma’s process: • Buy a big ol’ home • Hate its layout and destroy all the interior walls • Put all the downstairs stuff upstairs • Turn the upstairs into an ice cream parlor • Turn the garage into a bowling alley • Turn the whole house into the world’s best/worst/most pathetic mall ever
When he started putting canned food and multiple jars of peanut butter on the floor is was in fucking tears. My stomach was in so much pain from laughter that I died. I am currently in the great beyond searching for a Walgreens.
6 years later I’m still revisiting this video. Is it a classic? Yes. But I always come back for the knowledge Jerma gifts in this video. I mean, it *always* works out when you do blue in PetSmart.
90% of Jerma’s jokes are just “no I can’t do that” and then he does it to an insane degree
the other 10% are extremely costly and drawn-out gags, like when he actually did the clown car joke or how he told everyone he was moving to Las Vegas and then just didnt
@@Skiivin wait, he didnt?
Coffee Cheetos Chicken
DaLivelyGhost I think it was all an incredibly elaborate joke
What is this game
Jerma went from planning a mall to forgetting entirely to building another mall.
It all comes full circle
@@ShakedownDreams it’s full circle because Jerma got lost in the mall
dimentia-ridden streamer
I love your pfp
the writers were really cookin with this one ngl
Imagine buying a new house and then being like "What the hell, there's no rice and pasta in here"
@Khaki Shorts This comment made me laugh until I choked on my steamed oysters.
That would be the first thing that came into my mind
Imagine buying a mall and then complaining about too many bedrooms
Thats what Jerma said when I was a child and he broke in my parents home. After saying it he killed my entire family before my eyes
Italian moment
The house with a Best Buy in its walls
The house with a dad in its BestBuy.
@@anarchistdora1990 The house with a dad in its walls
SpunkySpade that would explain the bloody scene lol
in its malls*
The bestbuy with a house in its dad
Ice cream shop should be named “Ben and Jeremy's”
@Willem DaFuckedUp OldBone Creamery
@@mindfloww8834 Gross
Local streamer opens ice cream shop, is arrested for being an accomplice to crime, sentenced to a month in the chair.
@@Dillon4599 only the chair is a booster seat
I read this and got a fucking Ben and Jerry's ad
She paid 230 grand because she liked the pictures on the wall.
Looking at her portrait, I'd say she paid 230 grand for her own Hot Topic...
@@MJ20202 That was just a bonus in her eyes.
They were all pictures of Jeremy
Money well spent
In my playthrough I've sold the most houses to her by covering the walls with the dumbest memes I could find.
It all started with an upstairs kitchen...
but what really happened?
get the fucking steak on there
Like ChrisChan’s house lmao
Upstairs business bathroom
Local house flipper found accomplice to unsolved murder, sentenced to 1 month in the electric chair
why give the ever so important job of electric chair seat warmer to a prisoner
@@milzyywilzyy9922 It's like a community service
They don't turn it on of course, you just sit there and think about what you've done.
@@laughablesaint2856 and if he talks shit to the one of the guards they put him on for 1:40 on low
@Kimg Komg lmao is it like a microwave
I love how the ice cream parlor is larger than the PetSmart and Best Buy combined.
As it should be
Priorities man
You get on average 2 pets. You buy maybe 6 or 7 electronics for your family. You eat ice cream all the time. Why aren't all ice cream parlors huge?
Of course the burger King is the size of a closet
Imagine, this: You found a new bowling alley on Google maps near your home, and you ask your friends to go there. In the location, there is just a normal home. You knock, and some random werid guy invites you to a mall inside his house. You see some shops with cashiers all angry and bored, because there is not enough place for their shop to function, but brand owners still rent the rooms for cheap prices. Werid guy shows you the garage, and you see terrible alley made from stacked catalouges and some wooden boards, and the guy just goes back upstairs and falls alseep on a bed near the stairs...
But you find that, while it is certainly weird, this Jermall, as the owner called it, is oddly comforting. At least compared to the spider-like scurrying you hear in the middle of the night, when its HIS feeding time.
*gets off of couch*
Whaddya want, vanilla?
*opens freezer*
@@LukeBeadles hands over entire bucket of white paint
And don’t forget the pictures of the same man
This is all happening at 2:11 AM and it’s pitch black out
Hey, it just happens sometimes, you're preparing a salad, then suddenly grandpa explodes and there's blood everywhere and you have to sell the house.
AlexTenThousand seel? Ya mean sell?
Sounds like a lyric from Weird Al's 'Everything You Know is Wrong'
happens to the best of us
It's like when your car gets covered in paint and the insurance company just says "it's totaled"
@@maximuffin6395 I thought you said "cat" instead of "car" when I read that the first time, and got so damn confused why you would need 'cat' insurance, how it would get covered in paint, and how it could be "totaled" in any case...
i want “did Picasso know what he was painting when he made starry night?” to be my senior quote
I was so confused when he said that 😭
PSYCHO streamer suggests PICASSO had DEMENTIA!
I love the idea that he didn’t set out to paint a starry night, he just set out to paint… something
@@plastiktuten3866that painting was also not done by Picasso
and "does Van go..."
Local streamer's powerful depiction of Attention Deficit Disorder captures the judges' hearts at the Academy Awards.
I like how once he gets to the indoor bowling alley the buyers just stop commenting because they’re scared of him
Until the tour where the one woman goes "great pictures"
The only employee in the entire mall is jerma, running frantically to each store cash register to service it for 5 seconds before running to the next store over.
In the Jermall of America all the indoor rides have no height limits
'You must be this compact to ride'
*moistcr1tikal Liked That.*
To the tune of big rock candy mountain
"This is in great shape, why am I flipping this"
*Walks into a murder scene*
We had the Dad in the Walls, now get ready for the Uncle in the Bunker!
Uncle Funcle, would you make me a sandwich?
My idiot self read that as uncle in the bunkle
@@pillgrimm well jerma could find fit in a belt bunkle
And a wocket in my pocket
Mom in the Kitchen
I like how the "this is gonna be a serious house" and mall ideas switched 30 secs after he entered both properties
I feel like you missed out on the opportunity to put the computer mouse inside the crib at Petsmart.
I was laughing too hard to breathe at 23:56, somehow the impracticality of a home bowling alley hadn't hit me until jerma explained the fatal flaw.
The best part is that you play bowling with a beach ball
"What do you care? You're a sicko."
I want there to be a movie where a guy turns his house into a mall (just like this one), and has to hide it from the city. Jerma can do set design
And then he kills and murders his neighbours, makes their houses into malls as well and then interconnects them all in a huge mall network underground
In the final movie scene the police should find that guy together with his mall mafia accomplices all dead 150 meters deep into the network because they have lost map of that place
wow...👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
starring Jack Black
And also acting.
@@tempname8263 You’re a genius and don’t let anyone tell you differently
6:55 Officer Jex inspects the crime scene of the infamous Sim House Massacre
He mentions that in 30 minutes he will remember the mall, and what do we have at 30:00? A mall. The genius
grandCurator
HM3 is a big-brain editor
@@bbg830 the biggest
"Fuck the bathroom, it's now a PetSmart" is the top quote of 2018
That's how the original PetSmart got started too.
>installs electrical socket
>immediately covers it with cabinet
>cabinet isn't flush with the rest of the sink
Jerma, for the love of God, you're killing me
「#1 Schemer」 holy shit I looked away for that part and now it irks me
@@metaldfriend9692 It's at about 10:03
Cabinets don't flush, dude, especially ones that attach to the sink. Whered you get your plumbing degree?
If it makes you feel any better, the game litterally would not let him put it there
@@Dillon4599 L
Sometimes Jerma is like an Alien that came to Earth and is desperately trying to replicate our culture.
Replicate? I thought he WAS our culture
"""Sometimes"""
When he put a Holiday Inn inside of a mall, I became thoroughly convinced of this
They did surgery on a grape
He's succeeded in my book
streamer gets sentenced to 1 month in the chair
Lunatic bowling alley streamer pays ten grand for a picture of himself
The lady with the picture fetish must've been happy that she got the house.
There's something so incredible about him pulling out a sledgehammer and saying "you know what? Fuck the bathroom, this is now a petsmart"
i think i meant to ask who made your profile picture like 4 months ago but forgot. you wouldn't happen to know who made it, do you?
@@vizzy61 Unfortunately not, I just found it a while ago by searching "omori phone wallpaper," I can't seem to find a definitive answer on who drew it
@VspTylore ah, that's a shame. thanks for telling me how you found it at least.
Paul Byeah: Mall Cop
great comment honey! keep it up.
syms ER ily
Wealthy MEGALOMANIAC puts touched-up portraits of himself throughout Mall of America.
I love how he spent all that time putting out the paint pots to take a screenshot and use as the sign when he could have just taken literally any actual picture of ice cream flavours in like 30 seconds
Gnome-turned-realtor suffers from property dysphoria
Imagine hiring a guy to renovate your house and you come back to the place being packed with large scale paintings of the renovation guy
the image of someone slingshoting their grandpa to get insurance money is forever hilarious and burned into my brain
they removed the lights so when they investigate the crime scene nobody can see the crime
just take off the detective's glasses, he won't be able to see then
the power draw on this house would get it investigated
Just tell ‘em you’re mining BitCoin.
i read the title as "Jamal of America", which sounds like a kids sitcom on disney channel
but like, one of those old incredibly racist ones wich you only notice is bad after a few years
@@blehh_mae exactly
Dad in the Walls vs Uncle in the Bunker
Unkle in the bunkle
vs Grandad in the Ground
Sister in the shitter
TIL Jerma practices his evil laugh in the mirror for like _4 hours_ every day. And he _still_ doesn't have it right.
The House with a Mall in its Walls
The bowling alley with a byeah in its walls
Detective Jeremy:
"SOMEBODY SLINGSHOT GRANDPA INTO THE TABLE"
"You have been working in this house for 4 hours and 56 minutes"
Holy fucking shit dude
fruitloop room, for practicing your evil laugh
This has inspired me to decorate my first home into a bunch of tiny stores that I will never sell anything out of.
The bowling room looks like a brighter version of the kinds of rooms I see in my dreams, that I remember being in but don't actually exist
Scratch that, the entire fucking house has come out of my dreams and I don't know how I feel
@HomeKitty2 well the feeling you should be feeling is quite simple.
*f e a r*
It's interesting that everyone thought the second house was the murder house, when it was clearly the Bowling Alley Bloodbath house
I had to get the chair, but at least the seat was warm.
this is the best thing anyone has ever done with this game, i love you jerma
7:17, fun fact is that Empyrean (The devs behind this game) are also making a game where you're a person tasked with cleaning up the evidence of murder or crime scenes. So yeah
Hold up
those blood splatters are lifted straight from Viscera Cleanup Detail. I've made custom maps with it's engine and those are the exact same textures.
what what
Wait really? They are probably a free or paid asset.
@@DragonsHidden wouldn't be suprising
@@thesuperpunmaster6369 yeah, lots of games use assets from other places. You can hear a TON of Valve's noises and sound affects in other games and sometimes other media like movies or ads, especially ones from Half Life 2
Aren't they made by the same people?
**Gives a family literally 2 cans of tuna and a can of beans to survive on**
"How much food do you want??"
Proceeds to give them a jar of peanut butter and two more cans of tuna
I have rewatched this video 20+ times. I literally use this to fall asleep sometimes. This is the most rewatchable video on the platform lmao.
One day Jerma should live stream him house flipping IRL, with cameras installed in every single room.
At this point it's possible
"It always works out when you do blue in Petsmart"
Jeremy Elbertson, 2018
"What the fuck am i saying? *repeats original quote in one of jermas signature funny voices*"
Jeremy soon after.
"Make a Hot Topic? Okay, we'll make a Hot Topic" lol
It's true what he says, one day we'll all be "that one guy in chat."
Local streamer sells his own frozen 'cream'.
He fed it to my son
I fed it to my wife...
@@anarchistdora1990 I fed my wife to it...
26:59 "Not bad a picture."
28:08 "Great pictures."
15:06 my man really said Picasso made the “Starry Night” RIGHT BEFORE mentioning Van Gogh separately LMAO
"somebody slingshot grandpa into the table"
Jerma’s process:
• Buy a big ol’ home
• Hate its layout and destroy all the interior walls
• Put all the downstairs stuff upstairs
• Turn the upstairs into an ice cream parlor
• Turn the garage into a bowling alley
• Turn the whole house into the world’s best/worst/most pathetic mall ever
28:11 "Great pictures"
The House with a Mall in Its Walls.
man goes insane trying to build a house
more at 10
What’s up Gamer? It’s me Greg, from NVIDIA.
ITS FREE SHIT
WANNA BE AS GOOD AS JERMA985?!!??
Resdyne banned
@@spoonzone o fuc
*Must be 5’2’’ or below to enter*
11:37 "I'm not big enough to do that." Well, at least he's finally being honest with himself.
6:56 Oh man, I love Viscera Cleanup Detail!
It smells like upgamer in here
Yuh Bo1 what’s upgamer?
@@thedumbdog1964 nothing much
@@Megaladonggg _Sick burn dog!_
@@Megaladonggg you didn't answer his question.
That's a chat bind of mine now.
I love long videos like these
Did that guy just say a bathroom isn't needed here?
Wow finally someone who I can trust.
Just shit in the kitchen sink, you’ll be fine.
@@jmmjjmmjjmmj And where am I supposed to wash my hands? Where's the toilet!?
@@tempname8263 piss on your hands afterwards. can't let it go to waste in a "toilet" or whatever. use that big brain of yours.
It makes me so happy that this is probably a huge number of people's first Jerma video.
Local streamer covers up a murder
hot topic is my go-to fetish store
*hot* topic
jerma is the saul goodman of house flipping
the "1 month in the chair" joke gets me everytime and i come back to this video just to hear it again
When he started putting canned food and multiple jars of peanut butter on the floor is was in fucking tears. My stomach was in so much pain from laughter that I died. I am currently in the great beyond searching for a Walgreens.
totally. and i should know, I've died like five times
9:17 new donation sound pls
That would be amazing.
A bit tricky to crop perhaps, but do this right and it might be even better than Orson Welles.
no
I second this decision
6 years later I’m still revisiting this video. Is it a classic? Yes. But I always come back for the knowledge Jerma gifts in this video.
I mean, it *always* works out when you do blue in PetSmart.
Imagine you wake up and every photo and panting in the world was replaced by a picture of Jerma985
theres going to be a nice light grey
nice light white
Jerma is one of the few constant things that bring me joy in life. Jerma big man
Literally same no cap
The absurdity of "It gets you one month in the chair." fucking _murdered_ me! (play on words intended)
you got it backwards, the man murdered because of the lightbulbs never being changed
I got this game because of you. Your influence affects us more than you know. I will never look at paint the same.
Streamer sells his house out to multiple businesses
Houseflipper distracts from murder scene by pulling out cabinets by 2 inches.
“F*ck the bathroom, it’s now a Petsmart.”
Lost it
11:15 "It's over!" good video right there
Ah yes house flipper shows always have the occasional murder scene clean up, adds a little spice to the mundane process.
12:31 Jerma becomes Tuco from breaking bad
jerma cleaning the murder scene and selling the house is literally a bit from American Psycho
"Did Picasso know what he was painting when he painted the Starry Night?"
Lol. Pretty sure that wasn't Picasso.
yeah you're right it was jerma who painted it
is it even possible to lose money with the auctions?
16:54 I laughed so hard for some reason when he said "Light White"
There is no other place in the world that you can get content like this.
Picasso made Starry Night, one of the best paintings in the world.
Wait
This is still one of my favorite jerma streams, years later.