Please keep in mind the following when commenting: I am unable to provide specific advice or a clinical opinion through the comments section. For this reason, please avoid giving specific details of your own personal history/struggles as I am unable to monitor how others respond to such comments. I am open to ideas and suggestions for future videos which may be relevant to a specific question you have in mind.
So true with regards to their fantasies not being fulfilled (delusions) and then the rage comes out....belittling and then the next moment being friendly....when I was in the tornado I couldn't get a grasp on what was happening to me..you know something is wrong but you can't put your finger on it....when I left..it is only that when you are out of the tornado can you begin to understand and figure out....they are not repentant with regards to their behavior toward you and blame you for the reason why they say and do what they do.....crazy making, projection, belittling, rage, wrath, physical abuse, gaslighting, I have experienced....but healing begins when you understand what you have come out of....going no contact is your best defense....
Vital Mind Psychology Hi I'm Tammy Bivens I'm from Phoenix Az. I've been in a almost 2 DECADES WITH I really don't know. I have lost everything before him while,I'm here disabled looking for work have put in a lot of app.s any way need a P.I. & get out,with low income do you have any suggestions? Thank you I know I'm grasped at straws, I have to try ask I'm trimia tiesed need help. Thank you again Tammy
Vital Mind Psychology hello, really appreciate the video. I have a question, can this be fixed, the resisting of experience and the disconnect or split of self? if the self is broken in a narcissistic person, can it be fixed?
Vital Mind Psychology so tools to protect ourselves from narcissistic personalities? all i got was look good and suck up to them. would it be possible to expand on approaches with dealing with narcissists?
Diane Matlock “They hate that NOBODY wants them...” From a young age the narcissist doesn’t believe anybody could love their true self. This is actually not true but the narcissist is full of self loathing. So they create a fake self in order to be loved. At some point their self awareness becomes so bad they actually believe their fake self to be their true self. They become lost in self delusion.
For all the trauma that myself and my family has endured I strongly believe this information should be taught in grade school. We should be taught that these people exist and how to avoid them. Im sure that it would save lives
I don’t think so! No teachers are going to enable students to become aware of how disturbed they are and so interrupt their poisonous indoctrination. Not the schools. No way.
11:30 yes they seek to be around people of status and beauty but at the same time they resent you for having things they only want for themselves and will try at all costs to sabotage those things for you so they can be in the spotlight themselvs
I also noticed they are jealous of the dumbest things and embarrassed of the stupidest things like a child. They hold us to the same standard and want us to be ashamed of being real.
They don't seem to hear your words. Pay very little attention to "your" needs. Heavy on the lying. Lots of gas lighting and selective hearing. Truly a test for your patience......
This is the best information I have ever found about what is going on inside the mind of narcissists and empaths. I have been searching for years (and I mean YEARS) and this is exactly what I have been searching for. You are an answer to prayer. Thank You.
Caroline yes it helps me when having to deal with one because I see the tantrums when don't get their way etc. How they tick. I remember firm boundaries helped and being in observer mode helped dealing with toddlers too. Can also be applied to narcs. Plus sense of humour helps. I can't help but laugh at the behavior. I ended with autoimmune type condition tho, so best policy is avoid completely. Much wiser for it and probably have a inner narc detector now. Ha ha.
Best explanation I ´ve ever heard. Unfortunately, people seem to be impressed by superiority, which give narcissists even more boost and tendency to aggressively make their way in society. I strongly support raising awareness on the problem.
I don't like to say hardwired, though too much for one person to handle. It very well could take the shared efforts of the entire planet to help one individual.
@@Antonocon Hey--I'm getting ready to move in two days but will post it here later. There's also research that discovered signs of sociopathy in babies young as 6 months. My dad, uncle, cousin and sister have that disorder and they were showing signs as soon as they started to walk.
I had 2 employees whom I fired that retaliated in ways no one could have predicted. They are dangerous and capable of anything when enraged and feel someone has done them wrong. Don't think they just go crazy on intimate partners, they will target anyone that dares to interfere with plans they have to get something they want.
Your videos are clear, succinct, informative. I have learned so much from your teaching. Also, I have been strengthened in dealing with problematic people in my family. Not only am I strengthened, but I share these videos with others in my family to educate and strengthen. So much gratitude and respect for you.
This is exactly what I have been experiencing in several family members. I have used the phrase to my husband about a brother and his wife, are so full of themselves it is agonizing to be around them. I say that "they don't want to see me, they want me to see them. " It's a long story, but I never get a sense that they have any respect for me, it is more like contempt, critical about every single thing I do and say. As though they cannot stand to validate me in anyway.
I'd love to see a video about the roles of children growing up in a narcissistic home. (Ex. Golden child, scape goat child, forgotten child.) My hubby grew up as the forgotten child, according the "narcissistic mother" website, the forgotten child clings to a best friend's or girl/boy friend's family. This is true in my hubby's case. The scape goat rebels and the golden child usually never gets free from the narc family. It's an interesting dynamic.
Narcissistic people are actually really wounded and insecure and fear based. That's where the grandiose feelings come from. I wish more people giving info would expound on that.
robertdanielmaher Narcissism doesn't =evil. It's a personality disorder. Like bipolar or schizophrenia. It's better to recognize and adjust accordingly so you yourself don't fall victim.
LittleFawn Uwoduhi this may very well be true, but in the end we all choose our own behaviour. And I would empathise more with their wounds and fears, if they had the least regard for the wounds they intentionally inflict upon others. They don't. At all. Ever.
My 32-year old daughter has competely shut me out of her life. I have always suspected something was wrong at a very young age, and noticed her selfishness, anger, tantrums, lack of compassion and empathy which I thought she would outgrow. She is extremely successful academically since grade school to this day. The last time we spoke (nearly 9 months ago) she told me I was the "worst mother ever" and that she will not speak to me until I "get help." My heart is broken. My ex-husband (not her biological father) is a narcissist, whom I divorced just recently. She has beleived every word he has said, and truly believes that I was "mean to him." We were married for 14 years, right at the time she left for college when she was 18 years old. She lives in another country attending medical school. Thanks for allowing me to comment and thank you very much for your videos.
Astral Anchor I'm am a Targeted Individual, oh my!!!! I can't believe you told her that- you could be right. I actually have a Facebook page. Selena Elizabeth (Phillips) my recent post about an hour ago is about my daughter- wow!!!!!!!!!!!! Today is her 21st birthday!!!!!!
Lauranicole84 I don't know if you are a Targeted Individual, you can see my comment below. Only YOU can connect the dots of your life sweetie and put the pieces together. But let me assure you, you are NOT a bad mother, and I will go even further.....your daughter has more than likely, most definitely been brainwashed to feel and even maybe mind-controlled to have/feel these negative emotions toward you. I'm so sorry, I truly understand your pain. Never lose hope, one day just maybe it will be differently. I don't see it for myself, but just maybe for you!!!! God is powerful!!!!! Hugs
Your narcissistic daughter is in med school? God help every person she comes into contact with because of the power that the title of "Dr." gives a person. I hope that her condition is recognized by the school advisors so she can be weeded out before getting her M.D. Please do your self-awareness work on empathic personality. Best wishes from a survivor in the medical field who did come into contact with one.
Thank you for making these videos. I firmly believe that at this point in history is of crucial importance to raise awareness of general public about so called "dark triad" : psychopathy , narcissism and Machiavellianism because people with these traits are so incredibly efficient in climbing up the social ladders and dominance hierarchies. Because of that they , as a rule, end up in leadership positions guiding organizations, nations , and the world according to their values. Every revolution failed and every religion got corrupted because these individuals cannot relate to values in the core of any humanist movement .World will never become better place for majority of people as long as we allow them to rule us .
I've just come out of a relationship with a person like this. Don't know what hit me although I knew that something was not quite kosher. Thought that perhaps a brain injury as easily angered and easily devalued and made me feel like I am nothing and I don't mean nothing. I am getting quite the education here. Thank you for posting and sharing your knowledge. Will have to educate myself, then find a way to come out of this experience stronger and smarter and feeling sane again... Battered, bruised and in disbelief at this stage.
So spot on when I look back at the deceitful, underhanded sabotage and constant smear campaign by a co-worker narcissist of other co-workers, including myself, for their own elevation.
I've been learning about Narc's for about seven years now and thought I knew a lot etc however the way you describe things is excellent and amazing. I'm always happy to keep learning about Narc's you have a new subscriber thank you very much . Where are you based?
My ex Hoovered me and I let her in my home.. you could tell she found a new supply. One of the first things she asked about was what was one of the first songs I played for her at the beginning of our relationship.. she explained what it was and I remembered and found it. She said to text it to her... and I realized she’s going to use that song for her new supply. I said, you’re going to use that song on a new guy aren’t you... and she said no with a smirk. These people are predators. She’s going to reenact how I treated her during her love bombing on the new guy. Very sad and sadistic.
Thankyou for such a clear explanation of narcissism; especially when they do not learn from their life experiences and therefore do not grow. That's something I could not work out for a long time. I assumed everyone was humbled from the wear and tear of everyday life...what a revelation. I also wonder if narcissists can be born with a pre-disposition to this disorder. Perhaps it is not entirely environmental.
Thanks for the feedback, Jenny. I am so glad the video helped clarify this key point for you. I think there are predisposing factors but none to my knowledge are prenatal - all involve disruptions to the child's bond with their primary caregivers in their formative years.
You state that regarding 'predisposing factors' that 'none to my knowledge are prenatal'. However, a recent study by a psychiatrist of fifty serial killers showed that, whereas two-thirds reported some type of childhood abuse, one-third reported that they had not suffered any type of childhood abuse, be it physical, emotional, psychological or sexual. As psychopaths are compulsive liars, how many of the two-thirds who claim to have been abused, were lying? There have also been studies which show that when normal people viewed film of another person in emotional or physical pain, the 'pain centre' of their brain reacted. Whereas, when psychopaths viewed the same film, the 'pain centre' of their brains did not react. Instead, the 'pleasure centre' of their brain reacted. Hence why psychopaths are motivated to cause pain in others, and normal people to prevent or soothe it. There is also the evidence of the 'Warrior Gene' found to be associated with psychopathy. My father and uncle had great childhoods, but both were narcissists who enjoyed using and hurting others. What are your thoughts on these recent studies?
I don't have studies to cite, either, but I believe it has been proven that information can be passed via genetics. Children can be born with the fears and faults of previous generations, or at least their memory. Anecdotally, I have 6 children of my own that I raised as a stay at home mom. I noticed distinct detachment with one child since birth, on his part not mine. I have broken through this coldness and it was dramatically obvious after thee child's baptism as a grade school child and again, later after I divorced their dad. Some kind of negative connection was broken with persistent love and separation from sources of rejection. This topic is extremely interesting to me as I am always seeking to better my own self and be a good example for my children. I did notice that my ex had some psychological issues that were completely foreign to me in that I couldn't relate to them. I had my own fears and anger issues, but this irrational coldness I could not comprehend. I believe it is the narcissist personality disorder; a complete false self. I thought that knowledge of information being transferred via genes was common knowledge by now. Thank you for your video.
Thankyou Samantha, that was interesting. I'm very curious too about this topic and am exploring all areas related to it. Another theory, is cellular memory, which is passed down through the generations and may be the same/similar to what you state about information being passed via genetic. Something else that I found also very helpful, is the MBTI personality system. You may not be familiar with this and is not accepted by some; I however, found it invaluable in understanding the problems I had with my eldest daughter. Her personality type was a perfect fit, that she was thinker (related more to males), not a feeler and thus once I understood this, I could accommodate more. Another thing I wonder about is, if we are indeed, eternal souls/spirits, perhaps some just come with their past life experiences and their own soul's blueprint, in their unconscious mind .Who knows, none of this is hard science, so much is speculation. But some concepts/theories, make sense.
The covert ones are the worst because when you realize their true colors, it is too later. The overt ones aren't hard to realize who they are. You don't need to get a high level of intimacy to catch them.
I'm really finding your videos very helpful - so thank you for them. One thing I'd like to add to description of Narcissists I know who have little to show in the way of achievements or material possessions so their 'superiority' manifests in the attitude that "everyone is an idiot" or deficient in some way...especially successful people.
Great video.... it's funny how you know what I have been through. You described it to a TEE. As soon as I established a boundary my N began the devalue stage. I needed something from the relationship and all the sudden I was to demanding, as well as many other things, according to her. I have spent months doing the whole analyzing and introspection thing. It can make one crazy.
Thanks for the feedback. It can be a very powerful relief to know that the games narcissists play have been well documented and once you know them they become much more transparent. Thanks for watching and keep in touch!
Thank you so much for taking the time to put this information out. So much information on Narcisists out there is so angry at the Narcissist (and understandably so, but very inflaming and not promoting recovery). Getting to understand the Narcissist and learning behavioral tools to deal with someone with a behavioral disorder they are not even aware they have, has proven for me most helpful and helped me achieve a neutrality that has actually effected a change in the dynamic of the relationship (and therefore reduced the toxic load considerably). I would be so grateful if you could explain Borderline Personality disorder, and contrast it with NPD, as well as share tips and tricks to identify tactics and avoid “falling” for gaslighting. Again thank you for this wonderful information.
Seems the line between narcissism and sociopathy is a fine one. From what I'm gathering the narcissistic disordered personality is less pulled together. But, I'd love for you to discuss by compare and contrast narcissism and antisocial personality. Thank you for these educational videos!
Excellent video and explanation!! Thank you so much for your insight on this thing called narcissist..' I have my narcissist radar on and will not go back down that road of craziness.. education is what I'm doing !
More important to learn about the condition, or rather than come up with degrading labels for PEOPLE who have a PERSONALITY DISORDER? You don't chastise and hate monger about people suffering from; Paranoid PD, Schizoid PD, Schizotypal PD Cluster B (Dramatic, erratic) Antisocial PD, Borderline PD, Histrionic PD Cluster C (Anxious, fearful) Avoidant PD, Dependent PD, Obsessive-compulsive PD OR atleast I sincerely hope you don't.
Brilliant explanation. I have found it hard to articulate to my family and friends the situation that I am in. I can now send this to the people that care about people that have been effected by an NPD parent or spouse, or friend or Boss, or co-worker!! Thank YOU
Thank you so much for all your insights into this condition! It helps bring clarity and affirmaation of the realities of dealing with a narcissistic personality.
Your videos are the most informative videos on narcissism that I have ever come across. Understanding what is happening in the kinds of people who have been abusing me all my life has really made me understand that it is not within my power to change these people and that it is better for me to walk away from them, no matter how I am related to them. I arrived wasn't permitted to reject the people who were abusing me, while I was growing up. I couldn't physically walk away from them and there wasn't anyone that I could go to for protection and validation. I used to fall into the traps that you describe that empaths fall into. I thought that I was obliged to change the people who were hurting me and thought that I could. I am free now. I left town, cut off contact and make firm boundaries for how people are expected to behave toward me, if they want to be in my life. Most of the people from my past have spent all of their chances to be in my life. Before you delete this comment, please know that the name on my profile, isn't my legal name and can't be used to identify the people who have abused me. Thank you so much for your videos 💚
Another excellent video Dr S, unveiling this growing disorder within our society. Absolutely fits with my awful experience of trying to live with - and now divorcing - a narcissist. Brilliant work. Thank you. Bless you.
I want to thank you for your videos on narcissism. They are extremely informative and straightforward, the type of explanation that really speaks to me now in a very non-biased manner. I'm glad you've had so much positive response to these videos, and I hope to tune into all your videos in which you speak about narcissism. The narcissist in my life at the moment is a boss at an otherwise ideal job, and though I thought I identified this person a while ago, your information seems to confirm my presumption. I certainly may have a general question or two for you, so I will probably return, but I just wanted to thank you for this, and I've now subscribed, so I hope not to miss one of your very helpful videos!
If they are miserly about the finances, that's more likely to be Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder not NPD. However, if they still spend lavishly (because narcissists want you...their arm candy...to look good and to have a beautiful home and nice cars, etc.). Narcissists want other people to admire them, so they will spend money in order to have "the finer things in life."
Thank you so much for clarifying this disorder. I was married for five weeks when I discovered my husband was a narcissist. I had never heard of the disorder previously, and his family hid their knowledge from me. Your videos have clarified everything, and it finally makes sense to me. Again, thank you.
Oh goodness. That just explained my entire last relationship. It was so nice to feel loved for ten seconds (even though I knew he was putting me on a pedestal- and I remember telling him I would only fall off if he did that). I wasn't prepared for the aftermath when he suddenly decided I wasn't as important though. That part hurt much worse than I expected. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I'm looking forward to the rest of the series.
Excellent advice...right on about narcissists,...yes we have more awareness of narcissism..now,..and as I agree moderation is key,,.a person should be neither too empathic or narcissistic..but in the middle....like caring enough,,but looking after themselves too..thankyou for the great advice... Especially on social media I met narcissists and was dumbfounded...but lectures like yours..quickly equipped me ....
My brother, in a nutshell. You've helped me understand him, his way of dealing with his choices, his behavior towards me, and my siblings, and learning of the dangers that can and have happened to me because of his disorder. It was a scary time recently, for me and it's only been a few months since and episode happened, but now I know better, as they say. It's easy to fall for their b.s. and easy to be hurt. Thank you such for your videos! Have listened and learned so much. Continue to bring them for all of us who have to deal with this type or any type if disturbing personalities 💌✨💕
Hi Abdul, I've recently found out about your channel. I just wanted to let you know that I find your videos very very good. This is by far one of the best I came across about narcissists. Thank you !!!
Thank you for emphasizing how much of this about envy, I've gone through all kinds of entire channels, lots of different articles and information online and probably up to a dozen books and audiobooks on narcissim/cluster b /antisocial. There was massive amounts of excellent info in all of that but I don't think any of them ever gave the 'envy' component the attention it deserves because it sure seems to be, from everything I have observed and learned, that it's like the most major component, biggest driving force, etc. Pretty much all the other sources give off the idea that it's just a cog in the wheel, or 1 among a very wide array of features(or symptoms, whatever). Anyways...ya great job, gonna be watching at least a few more of your videos. I appreciate the info.
yep, as soon as I would bring up her inability to self-reflect or ever own her own stuff, she discarded me. ;-) I feel so sorry for her soon to be 7 year old son.
I don't believe I was co-dependent when I met my narcissist but after 20 years of abuse two years ago I discovered that got a codependency. I'm sure the abuse LED towards the codependency I wanted to see if other people agree with this
Count me in Mike! I "was" this independent, brave, compassionate , smart individual capable of sharing my vulnerable, goofy side with people I trust, including the narc as well. 15 years of marriage( and still on) with a covert narcissist has only made me become a codependent. The subtle, slow, painful gaslighting and projections have made me into a totally different person - filled with self doubt, fear and aches. I hear you!
I understand well the truth be told these poor sick people are suffering in silent pain that cannot be express emotionally,generally .We must always remember that sick people lost an entire life due to some sort of pain .I do not condone their behavior at all but see how sad for people to never have a true self.I was victim to too many narcissism.I choose to forgive but won't forget ,I learned from experiences,I was a codependent for others ,an enabler which is just as destructive if not worse.Being an empath is how I learn ,see,understand people.Its all so 😢
Hi Dr.Saad Can you do a video discussing the rise of narcissism in our society? Your theories on the causes or development of narcissism. How we as a society knowingly and unknowingly support and maintain a narcissistic mindset in an individual maybe even ourselves. Thank you for all the work you do!
My ex was confirmed as bipolar when it turns out narcissism fits him perfectly. I am nine years past a 28 year marriage and am still learning how much damage he did. I have three daughters that I wish understood his condition as clearly as you have stated in your videos. Thank you for bringing light to a dark corner.
I have been aware of this side of me for a while now and its confusing and awful, yet i also feel like a victim too, with having had 2 narcissistic parents and no loving support anywhere. So its actuslly hopeless that i can get better. Too much conflict and the narcissistic side has the upper hand.
tanks a lot. i watched a lot of videos 'bout narcissism, trying to understand...but it is not easy to get deeper out of many videos. Here in these I get real good information that helps me a bit more to understand and hopefully let go.
What is the relationship between narcissists and attachment disorder? In my work with violence victims, it is almost always the case that there is a root of attachment disorder. I'm curious if you have seen this. - Elizabeth
They view people as extensions of themselves. That explains why they get so angry when they think you are supposed to read their mind. If you don’t do something that they never asked you to do for them, then they are extremely “disappointed” with you. And they take this as a personal attack against them😟
Learning to take responsibility is key. Some have a hard time taking that responsibility people with diagnoses people with cerebral palsy they need extra help and seldom ask for it helping them with the right resources is crucial. This includes cluster b types the fact that they often Will not make the effort to change is Also valid. This channel gives good advice and helps me love and respect to all.
Abdul, I appreciate your expertise, content and delivery :). In future uploads, can you share with us some common ways Narcissists end their careers of carnage and what retirement looks like for them? Any preparation tips for us dance partners?
They almost always end up alone. They burn all the bridge's and the people who were once close to them. Spouses, children, siblings, friends. Die alone, angry, bitter, resentful.
@@bretthartin5877 that's a lie because narcissists need people & they always have a fan club and followers no matter what. Narx get pay backs but they always have their followers
@@bretthartin5877 they don't end up being alone.. they make the empath be alone... they themselves have their own group of narcissists and laugh At the empath and get satisfied for isolating the empath...
The rage is terrifying not like a short temper or outburst. The excuse for my humiliation was a comment I had made a month before the incident took place, it was the planned attack timed to suit me being vulnerable and a long way from my home. family or friends around). The level of premeditation was so incredibly frightening, I was frozen and clueless about the reasons for this behaviour. It felt raped, violated deliberately & with nowhere to seek refuge.
Mum has been diagnosed with NPD and has codependent with Dad who has been diagnosed with BPD. Both have their disorders to an extreme. I am not going to their funerals. I have no contact all.
I get suspicious when people who don’t me well complement me out of the blue. Especially when it’s exaggerated or not quite true. It isn’t because I am bashful. I know myself really well therefore I don’t need much outside praise or censure. Narcissists’s whiplash treatment doesn’t work for me. Seek internal validation by being honest and introspective. It helps you to stand tall and firm, not likely to be a target of psychological warfare.
Your insights are helping me see and understand both him and myself in the 34 year marriage I have been in. Any insights into breaking up with or divorcing a covert narcissist would be very helpful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Thank you Abdul for your outstanding work. It's very helpful and clear. I would love to hear your professional opinion about the issues of anger on the part of narcissist abuse survivors (both healthy and unhealthy anger) and realistic forgiveness (not pie-in-the sky religious forgiveness).
You truly are the most brilliant person I've heard speak about narcissism. Speaking about RUclipsers at the very least. Question: do they have the ability to REASON, if discovered in therapy, and diagnosed with NPD; can they understand that on any functional, healthy level?
Thank you very much for this insight. So now my question is this:.What about alcoholic addiction combined with narcissism? Especially one with a past in the military who is also passive aggressive?
Dr. Saad, as others have requested: please do a video delineating the difference between ASPD and NPD, (including child-parent bonds and evolution from child to a parent, if possible).
Thank you.I always knew this man would drive me crazy and he nearly did.For an incredible 12 years i tried to find the decent man i thought was there.He was diagnosed as bipolar and is currently in he's 6th time at valkenberg capetown.It's only recently i discoverd how narsiccistic he really was.
As I listened to this, as an American who finds herself living through an era where the president of my country is a narcissist, it's been overwhelming. Truly. There's supposed to be a system of "checks and balances " to reign in abuses of power in our government. However, no one is truly activating them. There's a lot of bloviation by observers and critics, but no correction. Eventually I came to understand that the congress and senate are nests of narcissism, with no interest in reigning in his majesty the baby, because he's simply their ilk in the White House. Then, I realized that those who voted for the man child identified with and supported him, were probably narcissistic themselves. This has often produced a real sense of hopelessness for me. I've come from a family riddled with them, worked in a place full of them, and have a few narcissistic people in my family to deal with. Thank God for your videos and all of the other people who are shedding light on this issue. I'm hoping and praying that the flood of information for the public to learn from will build an awareness about how to deal with and take back our lives on every level. Thank you so much.
I appreciate your post, Catherine Beitel, and couldn't agree more. I find myself equating the American Congress (both houses) with the French aristocracy before the French Revolution in 1789--except I think that this POTUS is quite a bit worse than Louis the 16th. The French aristocracy refused to be even minimally cooperative in improving the well being of the populace. (For example, at that time, one loaf of bread cost 75% of a working family's weekly wage.)In our case, the POTUS leads the ruin and ruinous politicians come running to gain personal advantage while being conveniently weak and unmotivated to stand up to the multifarious injustices. Before the French Revolution, the dynamics were reversed. Either way, I firmly believe that the constant noise this administration is making is really a death rattle of old, heretofore unchecked abusive behavior over uninformed constituency. Congress is filled with mostly new age versions of the aristocracy--and looked what happened in the end! The entire system of monarchy and aristocracy was erased from the country. OK, it wasn't all pretty and fair and clean, and this parallel does not work from every angle, but perhaps you get the drift. This administration has a shelf life. Compassionate people of all political stripes need to engage, communicate, and drive change. The narcissists have neither motivation nor skill to effect any positive change.
...as if government and its vile bureaucracy wasn't absolutely jam packed with grandiose power hungry individuals, regardless of party affiliations. Let's try some objectivity and an honest historical survey.
Hi there and thanks for your brilliant, insightful videos. I was married to a narcopath for 15 years and ended up losing my career, health, finances, friends, home etc etc. However I've come through a far better person. I'd like you to please make a video on co parenting with these demons. It's just not possible as they treat co parenting as nothing more than another opportunity to inflict more pain, chaos and mayhem.
The only thing, that qualifies me for answering is the fact that I do have NPD and read a lot about it. Some reasons, not ordererd by importance. However, there are few studies that actually show an increase in percentages of a general society of NPD. There seems to be a general feeling of an increase (maybe of narcissism, not particular the disorder). 1. A consumerist, increasing _materially_ affluent Western society after WW2 that gave people the false hope that following generations would live an easier, "better" life and a belief, that their kids could achieve and succeed in areas that the parent generations and many generations before could not "if they truely want to" (... they should want to ...) "can become, be and get anything they want to". 2. A steady competition within this society for aqcuiring more symbols of wealth, coupled with fast progress in technology and availability (new car, new iphone ... ). Kids become symbols of wealth, too. Their achievement is another way of competing with others. Of course, they are something "special". 3. A change to self-focused and individualistic behaviour and a retreat of the collective in general - Durkheim's anomie. Which itself has self-enforcing influence on parenting styles. 4. The progress of media technology. Selfies and (un-)social media. 5. Narcissism is a predominantly a male phenomenon and as woman get emancipated narcissism gets distuinguishable and open to criticism. 6. Kids stay more at home, stay segregated and use electronics and play less with peers, and if so, adults choose which one. 7. Mobility. Not social mobility. If your narcissism doesn't work at one place ... go to another, try it again. ...
I am a psychotherapist in the US. I watch and read and constantly try to expand my knowledge. I find that many videos describe disorders but do not discuss ideas about how to treat them. Can you do, or do you have any suggestions of where i can look to get others’ ideas? I would also like to see a video about borderline personality disorder, which is not in the ICD. The closest is emotional disregulation disorder. I like how you describe the narcissist, can you do one on borderlines. Thank you.
Please keep in mind the following when commenting:
I am unable to provide specific advice or a clinical opinion through the comments section. For this reason, please avoid giving specific details of your own personal history/struggles as I am unable to monitor how others respond to such comments. I am open to ideas and suggestions for future videos which may be relevant to a specific question you have in mind.
Narcs don't feel remorse or repentance unapologetic....they do feel shame tho....
So true with regards to their fantasies not being fulfilled (delusions) and then the rage comes out....belittling and then the next moment being friendly....when I was in the tornado I couldn't get a grasp on what was happening to me..you know something is wrong but you can't put your finger on it....when I left..it is only that when you are out of the tornado can you begin to understand and figure out....they are not repentant with regards to their behavior toward you and blame you for the reason why they say and do what they do.....crazy making, projection, belittling, rage, wrath, physical abuse, gaslighting, I have experienced....but healing begins when you understand what you have come out of....going no contact is your best defense....
Vital Mind Psychology Hi I'm Tammy Bivens I'm from Phoenix Az. I've been in a almost 2 DECADES WITH I really don't know. I have lost everything before him while,I'm here disabled looking for work have put in a lot of app.s any way need a P.I. & get out,with low income do you have any suggestions? Thank you I know I'm grasped at straws, I have to try ask I'm trimia tiesed need help. Thank you again Tammy
Vital Mind Psychology hello, really appreciate the video. I have a question, can this be fixed, the resisting of experience and the disconnect or split of self? if the self is broken in a narcissistic person, can it be fixed?
Vital Mind Psychology so tools to protect ourselves from narcissistic personalities? all i got was look good and suck up to them. would it be possible to expand on approaches with dealing with narcissists?
“The false self can not be self validated, because it isn’t real. So it requires endless external emotional support”
They hate that NOBODY wants them...
Wow. Mind blown.
Diane Matlock
“They hate that NOBODY wants them...”
From a young age the narcissist doesn’t believe anybody could love their true self.
This is actually not true but the narcissist is full of self loathing.
So they create a fake self in order to be loved.
At some point their self awareness becomes so bad they actually believe their fake self to be their true self.
They become lost in self delusion.
amazing such a simple statement , i would always think this why why why they need so much validation
@@stephenireland3816 yes, especially as they age. They can adopt someone's personality...
For all the trauma that myself and my family has endured I strongly believe this information should be taught in grade school. We should be taught that these people exist and how to avoid them. Im sure that it would save lives
I agree with you. They could give more attention for bullying at school. I'm almost sure that bulliers are on cluster-b
Yes!!! Our children need emotional intelligence not good government nonsense.
Convinced of this myself.
School is created by the narc govt - training good codependent citizens.
I don’t think so! No teachers are going to enable students to become aware of how disturbed they are and so interrupt their poisonous indoctrination. Not the schools. No way.
Best way to deal with this from my experience..Prayer, meditation, and NO Contact! Wish you all a fast recovery
How will praying help you ?
@Jenny Lee How about a good work out...Exercise makes me feel better...
@@NB-sq7ui praying for insight, healing, retribution for protection for a connection to the greatest truth in the galaxy. Prayers help.
@@PrimordialChaos07 Better still go no contact and stay no contact...This is a spectrum of cluster B personality disoreders...
Dixie Normus what if they are your own children (teenagers)?
11:30 yes they seek to be around people of status and beauty but at the same time they resent you for having things they only want for themselves and will try at all costs to sabotage those things for you so they can be in the spotlight themselvs
Heidi's GAMING friend.. so true !!
Heidi's GAMING ...YES %100..!!!
I also noticed they are jealous of the dumbest things and embarrassed of the stupidest things like a child. They hold us to the same standard and want us to be ashamed of being real.
+Peace Maker ..So True
Diademglo my ex never told me I was beautiful and was so jealous of me and if he was a woman, he would have been me.
They don't seem to hear your words. Pay very little attention to "your" needs. Heavy on the lying.
Lots of gas lighting and selective hearing. Truly a test for your patience......
This is the best information I have ever found about what is going on inside the mind of narcissists and empaths. I have been searching for years (and I mean YEARS) and this is exactly what I have been searching for. You are an answer to prayer. Thank You.
Respect and accept reality. Don't doubt it
He's very good, yes. I've watched 1000 talks on the matter. It's quite succinct.
It is like dealing with a toddler. It's like they are stuck in that mentally and emotionally.
thefairyjam This is a very broad explanation of how Narcissiat's may operate..
thefairyjam my family always called the narc "lil girl" haha
Caroline yes it helps me when having to deal with one because I see the tantrums when don't get their way etc. How they tick. I remember firm boundaries helped and being in observer mode helped dealing with toddlers too. Can also be applied to narcs. Plus sense of humour helps. I can't help but laugh at the behavior. I ended with autoimmune type condition tho, so best policy is avoid completely. Much wiser for it and probably have a inner narc detector now. Ha ha.
the fairy jam ...U are so right
Exactly, I'm married to a violent man child. Can't leave at the moment. I know the right time will come to leave, let go, let God.
Best explanation I ´ve ever heard. Unfortunately, people seem to be impressed by superiority, which give narcissists even more boost and tendency to aggressively make their way in society. I strongly support raising awareness on the problem.
So thank you for your comment - absolutely correct!!! "It feeds on itself"
The moment someone says "Are you nuts/mad/crazy?" and you haven't done anything wrong: it's a red flag.
Happened yesterday. So lucky that I've come across these videos so now more prepared
Its time to GET OUT STAY OUT yes even the man youve spent years loving supporting nurturing traveling building wining GOSO NOW AND SAVE YOURSELF
walk away from these people, they are hard wired the way they are. you cant change them
I don't like to say hardwired, though too much for one person to handle. It very well could take the shared efforts of the entire planet to help one individual.
Hardwired is a good word for it. There is current research linking 70% of cases to inheritance, not nurture.
Thanks, Gorgeous!
@@Elizabeth-yg2mg hey Elizabeth. Could you link that research? I haven't seen that. That sounds really interesting.
@@Antonocon Hey--I'm getting ready to move in two days but will post it here later. There's also research that discovered signs of sociopathy in babies young as 6 months. My dad, uncle, cousin and sister have that disorder and they were showing signs as soon as they started to walk.
I had 2 employees whom I fired that retaliated in ways no one could have predicted. They are dangerous and capable of anything when enraged and feel someone has done them wrong. Don't think they just go crazy on intimate partners, they will target anyone that dares to interfere with plans they have to get something they want.
You are absolutely correct: I gave experience cedar this as well - extremely evil
From USA . So true . I had the done to me and not intimate partner . Cray people . Trust me . Go no contact asap
Your videos are clear, succinct, informative. I have learned so much from your teaching. Also, I have been strengthened in dealing with problematic people in my family. Not only am I strengthened, but I share these videos with others in my family to educate and strengthen. So much gratitude and respect for you.
They try and steal the minds of others.
Who are the 88 people who disliked this video? People who didn’t like hearing the truth of their pathology being spoken. Abdul is amazing.
Yes please Dr. Saad, more on toxic narcissists in the work place. Very jealous and vindictive individuals of what I've seen. Good video and thank you.
For my son I'll study forever until I grasp this so well I can explain without sounding bitter.
I think this accurately describes my husband.
This is exactly what I have been experiencing in several family members. I have used the phrase to my husband about a brother and his wife, are so full of themselves it is agonizing to be around them. I say that "they don't want to see me, they want me to see them. " It's a long story, but I never get a sense that they have any respect for me, it is more like contempt, critical about every single thing I do and say. As though they cannot stand to validate me in anyway.
Hi Gwendolyn, my video on the 5 key strategies may also be relevant to you. Thanks for watching.
Exactly my life right now.thanks for sharing.
I'd love to see a video about the roles of children growing up in a narcissistic home. (Ex. Golden child, scape goat child, forgotten child.) My hubby grew up as the forgotten child, according the "narcissistic mother" website, the forgotten child clings to a best friend's or girl/boy friend's family. This is true in my hubby's case. The scape goat rebels and the golden child usually never gets free from the narc family. It's an interesting dynamic.
There would need to be some kind of protection to the family because to do so would be to show abuse in motion
Narcissistic people are actually really wounded and insecure and fear based. That's where the grandiose feelings come from. I wish more people giving info would expound on that.
You may be interested in the other videos on the topic I have recorded which talk to your point.
What are they afraid of? The truth?!
LittleFawn Uwoduhi Most are twisted at a very young age.. Not 100% the Narcissiat's blame 100% of the time. Many degrees to many situations.
robertdanielmaher Narcissism doesn't =evil. It's a personality disorder. Like bipolar or schizophrenia. It's better to recognize and adjust accordingly so you yourself don't fall victim.
LittleFawn Uwoduhi this may very well be true, but in the end we all choose our own behaviour. And I would empathise more with their wounds and fears, if they had the least regard for the wounds they intentionally inflict upon others.
They don't. At all. Ever.
My 32-year old daughter has competely shut me out of her life. I have always suspected something was wrong at a very young age, and noticed her selfishness, anger, tantrums, lack of compassion and empathy which I thought she would outgrow. She is extremely successful academically since grade school to this day. The last time we spoke (nearly 9 months ago) she told me I was the "worst mother ever" and that she will not speak to me until I "get help." My heart is broken. My ex-husband (not her biological father) is a narcissist, whom I divorced just recently. She has beleived every word he has said, and truly believes that I was "mean to him." We were married for 14 years, right at the time she left for college when she was 18 years old. She lives in another country attending medical school. Thanks for allowing me to comment and thank you very much for your videos.
Astral Anchor I'm am a Targeted Individual, oh my!!!! I can't believe you told her that- you could be right. I actually have a Facebook page. Selena Elizabeth (Phillips) my recent post about an hour ago is about my daughter- wow!!!!!!!!!!!! Today is her 21st birthday!!!!!!
Lauranicole84 I don't know if you are a Targeted Individual, you can see my comment below. Only YOU can connect the dots of your life sweetie and put the pieces together. But let me assure you, you are NOT a bad mother, and I will go even further.....your daughter has more than likely, most definitely been brainwashed to feel and even maybe mind-controlled to have/feel these negative emotions toward you. I'm so sorry, I truly understand your pain. Never lose hope, one day just maybe it will be differently. I don't see it for myself, but just maybe for you!!!! God is powerful!!!!! Hugs
Your narcissistic daughter is in med school? God help every person she comes into contact with because of the power that the title of "Dr." gives a person. I hope that her condition is recognized by the school advisors so she can be weeded out before getting her M.D. Please do your self-awareness work on empathic personality. Best wishes from a survivor in the medical field who did come into contact with one.
A selfish doctor.. hmm
Thank you for making these videos. I firmly believe that at this point in history is of crucial importance to raise awareness of general public about so called "dark triad" : psychopathy , narcissism and Machiavellianism because people with these traits are so incredibly efficient in climbing up the social ladders and dominance hierarchies. Because of that they , as a rule, end up in leadership positions guiding organizations, nations , and the world according to their values. Every revolution failed and every religion got corrupted because these individuals cannot relate to values in the core of any humanist movement .World will never become better place for majority of people as long as we allow them to rule us .
Great post. We need to accept and respect reality
I've just come out of a relationship with a person like this. Don't know what hit me although I knew that something was not quite kosher. Thought that perhaps a brain injury as easily angered and easily devalued and made me feel like I am nothing and I don't mean nothing. I am getting quite the education here. Thank you for posting and sharing your knowledge. Will have to educate myself, then find a way to come out of this experience stronger and smarter and feeling sane again... Battered, bruised and in disbelief at this stage.
Four years later hyd Marloe
The devaluation and idealization part seems more like borderline criteria.
So spot on when I look back at the deceitful, underhanded sabotage and constant smear campaign by a co-worker narcissist of other co-workers, including myself, for their own elevation.
I've been learning about Narc's for about seven years now and thought I knew a lot etc however the way you describe things is excellent and amazing. I'm always happy to keep learning about Narc's you have a new subscriber thank you very much . Where are you based?
This is a really, really good introduction to narcissism. Because there's a depth to it. Compassion.
My ex Hoovered me and I let her in my home.. you could tell she found a new supply. One of the first things she asked about was what was one of the first songs I played for her at the beginning of our relationship.. she explained what it was and I remembered and found it. She said to text it to her... and I realized she’s going to use that song for her new supply. I said, you’re going to use that song on a new guy aren’t you... and she said no with a smirk. These people are predators. She’s going to reenact how I treated her during her love bombing on the new guy. Very sad and sadistic.
wow , this is really personal. Sharing songs , i would hate this person for life
Thankyou for such a clear explanation of narcissism; especially when they do not learn from their life experiences and therefore do not grow. That's something I could not work out for a long time. I assumed everyone was humbled from the wear and tear of everyday life...what a revelation. I also wonder if narcissists can be born with a pre-disposition to this disorder. Perhaps it is not entirely environmental.
Thanks for the feedback, Jenny. I am so glad the video helped clarify this key point for you. I think there are predisposing factors but none to my knowledge are prenatal - all involve disruptions to the child's bond with their primary caregivers in their formative years.
You state that regarding 'predisposing factors' that 'none to my knowledge are prenatal'.
However, a recent study by a psychiatrist of fifty serial killers showed that, whereas two-thirds reported some type of childhood abuse, one-third reported that they had not suffered any type of childhood abuse, be it physical, emotional, psychological or sexual.
As psychopaths are compulsive liars, how many of the two-thirds who claim to have been abused, were lying?
There have also been studies which show that when normal people viewed film of another person in emotional or physical pain, the 'pain centre' of their brain reacted. Whereas, when psychopaths viewed the same film, the 'pain centre' of their brains did not react. Instead, the 'pleasure centre' of their brain reacted. Hence why psychopaths are motivated to cause pain in others, and normal people to prevent or soothe it.
There is also the evidence of the 'Warrior Gene' found to be associated with psychopathy.
My father and uncle had great childhoods, but both were narcissists who enjoyed using and hurting others.
What are your thoughts on these recent studies?
which studies? please provide a searchable citation.
I don't have studies to cite, either, but I believe it has been proven that information can be passed via genetics. Children can be born with the fears and faults of previous generations, or at least their memory. Anecdotally, I have 6 children of my own that I raised as a stay at home mom. I noticed distinct detachment with one child since birth, on his part not mine. I have broken through this coldness and it was dramatically obvious after thee child's baptism as a grade school child and again, later after I divorced their dad. Some kind of negative connection was broken with persistent love and separation from sources of rejection. This topic is extremely interesting to me as I am always seeking to better my own self and be a good example for my children. I did notice that my ex had some psychological issues that were completely foreign to me in that I couldn't relate to them. I had my own fears and anger issues, but this irrational coldness I could not comprehend. I believe it is the narcissist personality disorder; a complete false self. I thought that knowledge of information being transferred via genes was common knowledge by now. Thank you for your video.
Thankyou Samantha, that was interesting. I'm very curious too about this topic and am exploring all areas related to it. Another theory, is cellular memory, which is passed down through the generations and may be the same/similar to what you state about information being passed via genetic. Something else that I found also very helpful, is the MBTI personality system. You may not be familiar with this and is not accepted by some; I however, found it invaluable in understanding the problems I had with my eldest daughter. Her personality type was a perfect fit, that she was thinker (related more to males), not a feeler and thus once I understood this, I could accommodate more. Another thing I wonder about is, if we are indeed, eternal souls/spirits, perhaps some just come with their past life experiences and their own soul's blueprint, in their unconscious mind .Who knows, none of this is hard science, so much is speculation. But some concepts/theories, make sense.
Love your videos , please make more , the world needs to be informed. Your delivery is wonderful!
a covert narcissist acts completely different than an overt one
SoGorgeous Bell Thanks
They can present both aspects verging on one or the other according to circumstance.
The covert ones are the worst because when you realize their true colors, it is too later.
The overt ones aren't hard to realize who they are. You don't need to get a high level of intimacy to catch them.
It's like dogs and fleas. Both bite, in different ways, and have a different relationship with their narcissistic supply. But both get on yop of you.
I'm really finding your videos very helpful - so thank you for them. One thing I'd like to add to description of Narcissists I know who have little to show in the way of achievements or material possessions so their 'superiority' manifests in the attitude that "everyone is an idiot" or deficient in some way...especially successful people.
Great video.... it's funny how you know what I have been through. You described it to a TEE. As soon as I established a boundary my N began the devalue stage. I needed something from the relationship and all the sudden I was to demanding, as well as many other things, according to her. I have spent months doing the whole analyzing and introspection thing. It can make one crazy.
Thanks for the feedback. It can be a very powerful relief to know that the games narcissists play have been well documented and once you know them they become much more transparent. Thanks for watching and keep in touch!
N Chicks are my favorite variety of 🥜
Yes he has had narcissist rages like crazy. He literally has the maturity of about a 4 yr old if!
Thank you for your generosity in sharing your knowledge.
Thank you so much for taking the time to put this information out. So much information on Narcisists out there is so angry at the Narcissist (and understandably so, but very inflaming and not promoting recovery). Getting to understand the Narcissist and learning behavioral tools to deal with someone with a behavioral disorder they are not even aware they have, has proven for me most helpful and helped me achieve a neutrality that has actually effected a change in the dynamic of the relationship (and therefore reduced the toxic load considerably).
I would be so grateful if you could explain Borderline Personality disorder, and contrast it with NPD, as well as share tips and tricks to identify tactics and avoid “falling” for gaslighting.
Again thank you for this wonderful information.
Seems the line between narcissism and sociopathy is a fine one. From what I'm gathering the narcissistic disordered personality is less pulled together. But, I'd love for you to discuss by compare and contrast narcissism and antisocial personality. Thank you for these educational videos!
Excellent video and explanation!! Thank you so much for your insight on this thing called narcissist..' I have my narcissist radar on and will not go back down that road of craziness.. education is what I'm doing !
Great to know, angie. All the best.
I like that...'narcissist radar'. Thanks Angie
More important to learn about the condition, or rather than come up with degrading labels for PEOPLE who have a PERSONALITY DISORDER? You don't chastise and hate monger about people suffering from;
Paranoid PD, Schizoid PD, Schizotypal PD
Cluster B (Dramatic, erratic)
Antisocial PD, Borderline PD, Histrionic PD
Cluster C (Anxious, fearful)
Avoidant PD, Dependent PD, Obsessive-compulsive PD
OR atleast I sincerely hope you don't.
Brilliant explanation.
I have found it hard to articulate to my family and friends the situation that I am in.
I can now send this to the people that care about people that have been effected by an NPD parent or spouse, or friend or Boss, or co-worker!!
Thank YOU
Thank you so much for all your insights into this condition! It helps bring clarity and affirmaation of the realities of dealing with a narcissistic personality.
Your videos are the most informative videos on narcissism that I have ever come across. Understanding what is happening in the kinds of people who have been abusing me all my life has really made me understand that it is not within my power to change these people and that it is better for me to walk away from them, no matter how I am related to them. I arrived wasn't permitted to reject the people who were abusing me, while I was growing up. I couldn't physically walk away from them and there wasn't anyone that I could go to for protection and validation. I used to fall into the traps that you describe that empaths fall into. I thought that I was obliged to change the people who were hurting me and thought that I could. I am free now. I left town, cut off contact and make firm boundaries for how people are expected to behave toward me, if they want to be in my life. Most of the people from my past have spent all of their chances to be in my life.
Before you delete this comment, please know that the name on my profile, isn't my legal name and can't be used to identify the people who have abused me. Thank you so much for your videos 💚
wow ~ thank you so much for sharing your expertise
Another excellent video Dr S, unveiling this growing disorder within our society. Absolutely fits with my awful experience of trying to live with - and now divorcing - a narcissist. Brilliant work. Thank you. Bless you.
I want to thank you for your videos on narcissism. They are extremely informative and straightforward, the type of explanation that really speaks to me now in a very non-biased manner. I'm glad you've had so much positive response to these videos, and I hope to tune into all your videos in which you speak about narcissism. The narcissist in my life at the moment is a boss at an otherwise ideal job, and though I thought I identified this person a while ago, your information seems to confirm my presumption. I certainly may have a general question or two for you, so I will probably return, but I just wanted to thank you for this, and I've now subscribed, so I hope not to miss one of your very helpful videos!
you are really smart and well-spoken, thank you for the videos!
Narcissist and controlling all the household finances, leaving you dependent.
If they are miserly about the finances, that's more likely to be Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder not NPD. However, if they still spend lavishly (because narcissists want you...their arm candy...to look good and to have a beautiful home and nice cars, etc.). Narcissists want other people to admire them, so they will spend money in order to have "the finer things in life."
Yes!!! You are spot on!!! Soooo spot on. They devalue if you don’t meet there expectation.
Thank you so much for clarifying this disorder. I was married for five weeks when I discovered my husband was a narcissist. I had never heard of the disorder previously, and his family hid their knowledge from me. Your videos have clarified everything, and it finally makes sense to me. Again, thank you.
Kathleen Smith, the best word in your comment was the second word in your second sentence, "was".
Oh goodness. That just explained my entire last relationship. It was so nice to feel loved for ten seconds (even though I knew he was putting me on a pedestal- and I remember telling him I would only fall off if he did that). I wasn't prepared for the aftermath when he suddenly decided I wasn't as important though. That part hurt much worse than I expected. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I'm looking forward to the rest of the series.
Excellent advice...right on about narcissists,...yes we have more awareness of narcissism..now,..and as I agree moderation is key,,.a person should be neither too empathic or narcissistic..but in the middle....like caring enough,,but looking after themselves too..thankyou for the great advice...
Especially on social media I met narcissists and was dumbfounded...but lectures like yours..quickly equipped me ....
My brother, in a nutshell. You've helped me understand him, his way of dealing with his choices, his behavior towards me, and my siblings, and learning of the dangers that can and have happened to me because of his disorder. It was a scary time recently, for me and it's only been a few months since and episode happened, but now I know better, as they say. It's easy to fall for their b.s. and easy to be hurt. Thank you such for your videos! Have listened and learned so much. Continue to bring them for all of us who have to deal with this type or any type if disturbing personalities 💌✨💕
Thank you so very very much for this wonderful work!!
Thank you I have a girl I've been with,7 years I feel I cannot go on , everything you've said spot on.....
Hi Abdul, I've recently found out about your channel. I just wanted to let you know that I find your videos very very good. This is by far one of the best I came across about narcissists. Thank you !!!
Thank you for emphasizing how much of this about envy, I've gone through all kinds of entire channels, lots of different articles and information online and probably up to a dozen books and audiobooks on narcissim/cluster b /antisocial. There was massive amounts of excellent info in all of that but I don't think any of them ever gave the 'envy' component the attention it deserves because it sure seems to be, from everything I have observed and learned, that it's like the most major component, biggest driving force, etc. Pretty much all the other sources give off the idea that it's just a cog in the wheel, or 1 among a very wide array of features(or symptoms, whatever). Anyways...ya great job, gonna be watching at least a few more of your videos. I appreciate the info.
Thank you so much! Finally some one answered to my questions ,which I've had more then 23 years.
yep, as soon as I would bring up her inability to self-reflect or ever own her own stuff, she discarded me. ;-) I feel so sorry for her soon to be 7 year old son.
I don't believe I was co-dependent when I met my narcissist but after 20 years of abuse two years ago I discovered that got a codependency. I'm sure the abuse LED towards the codependency I wanted to see if other people agree with this
Count me in Mike! I "was" this independent, brave, compassionate , smart individual capable of sharing my vulnerable, goofy side with people I trust, including the narc as well. 15 years of marriage( and still on) with a covert narcissist has only made me become a codependent. The subtle, slow, painful gaslighting and projections have made me into a totally different person - filled with self doubt, fear and aches. I hear you!
I understand well the truth be told these poor sick people are suffering in silent pain that cannot be express emotionally,generally .We must always remember that sick people lost an entire life due to some sort of pain .I do not condone their behavior at all but see how sad for people to never have a true self.I was victim to too many narcissism.I choose to forgive but won't forget ,I learned from experiences,I was a codependent for others ,an enabler which is just as destructive if not worse.Being an empath is how I learn ,see,understand people.Its all so 😢
Hi Dr.Saad
Can you do a video discussing the rise of narcissism in our society? Your theories on the causes or development of narcissism. How we as a society knowingly and unknowingly support and maintain a narcissistic mindset in an individual maybe even ourselves.
Thank you for all the work you do!
My ex was confirmed as bipolar when it turns out narcissism fits him perfectly. I am nine years past a 28 year marriage and am still learning how much damage he did. I have three daughters that I wish understood his condition as clearly as you have stated in your videos. Thank you for bringing light to a dark corner.
Amazing video ! Thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge ! ❤️
I have been aware of this side of me for a while now and its confusing and awful, yet i also feel like a victim too, with having had 2 narcissistic parents and no loving support anywhere. So its actuslly hopeless that i can get better. Too much conflict and the narcissistic side has the upper hand.
Thank you for making these videos on empaths and narcissism.. Im learning a-lot!🙏✨🌸🙌
tanks a lot. i watched a lot of videos 'bout narcissism, trying to understand...but it is not easy to get deeper out of many videos. Here in these I get real good information that helps me a bit more to understand and hopefully let go.
Thanks Marco. I am glad these videos have helped you dig a little deeper in terms of your understanding.
What is the relationship between narcissists and attachment disorder? In my work with violence victims, it is almost always the case that there is a root of attachment disorder. I'm curious if you have seen this. - Elizabeth
Most of us have been thru complex trauma in childhood...watch findingfreedommedia. Most grew up with inconsistent, conditional love.
They view people as extensions of themselves. That explains why they get so angry when they think you are supposed to read their mind. If you don’t do something that they never asked you to do for them, then they are extremely “disappointed” with you. And they take this as a personal attack against them😟
The truth is some people are addicted to this type of individual because they like drama and a need to look up and worship this type of energy
Learning to take responsibility is key.
Some have a hard time taking that responsibility people with diagnoses people with cerebral palsy they need extra help and seldom ask for it helping them with the right resources is crucial.
This includes cluster b types the fact that they often Will not make the effort to change is Also valid.
This channel gives good advice and helps me love and respect to all.
It’s pretty simple for me , avoid them at all costs .
Finally....I understand....Thank You.....Your videos are a tremendous help.
Abdul, I appreciate your expertise, content and delivery :). In future uploads, can you share with us some common ways Narcissists end their careers of carnage and what retirement looks like for them? Any preparation tips for us dance partners?
They almost always end up alone. They burn all the bridge's and the people who were once close to them. Spouses, children, siblings, friends. Die alone, angry, bitter, resentful.
@@bretthartin5877 that's a lie because narcissists need people & they always have a fan club and followers no matter what. Narx get pay backs but they always have their followers
@@bretthartin5877 they don't end up being alone.. they make the empath be alone... they themselves have their own group of narcissists and laugh At the empath and get satisfied for isolating the empath...
@@ambersafdar1772 they may not literally be alone but they often don’t have the full time supply that they did when they were younger.
These people do serious damage to others. Run, don’t simply walk away! It only gets worse until they take you down.
The rage is terrifying not like a short temper or outburst. The excuse for my humiliation was a comment I had made a month before the incident took place, it was the planned attack timed to suit me being vulnerable and a long way from my home. family or friends around). The level of premeditation was so incredibly frightening, I was frozen and clueless about the reasons for this behaviour. It felt raped, violated deliberately & with nowhere to seek refuge.
Excellent deliverance. Informative, useful, educational.
Mum has been diagnosed with NPD and has codependent with Dad who has been diagnosed with BPD. Both have their disorders to an extreme. I am not going to their funerals. I have no contact all.
I get suspicious when people who don’t me well complement me out of the blue. Especially when it’s exaggerated or not quite true. It isn’t because I am bashful. I know myself really well therefore I don’t need much outside praise or censure. Narcissists’s whiplash treatment doesn’t work for me. Seek internal validation by being honest and introspective. It helps you to stand tall and firm, not likely to be a target of psychological warfare.
Your insights are helping me see and understand both him and myself in the 34 year marriage I have been in. Any insights into breaking up with or divorcing a covert narcissist would be very helpful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Thanks a lot for sharing this knowledge for free. Great heart
Thank you Abdul for your outstanding work. It's very helpful and clear. I would love to hear your professional opinion about the issues of anger on the part of narcissist abuse survivors (both healthy and unhealthy anger) and realistic forgiveness (not pie-in-the sky religious forgiveness).
Great video. I like the way you explained in a clear and easy way to understand the way narcissistic perceive the world.
Thanks so much for the feedback. Keep your eyes peeled for more videos.
A video on what to look out for would be great
brilliant advice abdul saad. I love your work. thank you.
keep bringing this info . especially how their minds work.
You truly are the most brilliant person I've heard speak about narcissism. Speaking about RUclipsers at the very least.
Question: do they have the ability to REASON, if discovered in therapy, and diagnosed with NPD; can they understand that on any functional, healthy level?
Thank you. That was very informative! Told in understandable language.
That was really excellent, very clear. Thank you.
Thank you very much for this insight. So now my question is this:.What about alcoholic addiction combined with narcissism? Especially one with a past in the military who is also passive aggressive?
THANK YOU!!! your videos explain NPD in such perfect detail, please keep the videos coming!!
Thanks, Rachel and you're welcome.
Dr. Saad, as others have requested: please do a video delineating the difference between ASPD and NPD, (including child-parent bonds and evolution from child to a parent, if possible).
Please make some more videos in this Narcissist series. They are a great help to me in understanding my estranged husband.
That is very helpful. Thank you.
You're doing great work - thanks!
Thank you.I always knew this man would drive me crazy and he nearly did.For an incredible 12 years i tried to find the decent man i thought was there.He was diagnosed as bipolar and is currently in he's 6th time at valkenberg capetown.It's only recently i discoverd how narsiccistic he really was.
extremely useful vid. thanks a lot!
Great video very interesting!
Please make more.
As I listened to this, as an American who finds herself living through an era where the president of my country is a narcissist, it's been overwhelming. Truly. There's supposed to be a system of "checks and balances " to reign in abuses of power in our government. However, no one is truly activating them. There's a lot of bloviation by observers and critics, but no correction. Eventually I came to understand that the congress and senate are nests of narcissism, with no interest in reigning in his majesty the baby, because he's simply their ilk in the White House. Then, I realized that those who voted for the man child identified with and supported him, were probably narcissistic themselves. This has often produced a real sense of hopelessness for me. I've come from a family riddled with them, worked in a place full of them, and have a few narcissistic people in my family to deal with. Thank God for your videos and all of the other people who are shedding light on this issue. I'm hoping and praying that the flood of information for the public to learn from will build an awareness about how to deal with and take back our lives on every level. Thank you so much.
Catherine Beitel this psychologist is fantastic. I’ve met him in person, he is very nice and very smart & helpful.
I appreciate your post, Catherine Beitel, and couldn't agree more. I find myself equating the American Congress (both houses) with the French aristocracy before the French Revolution in 1789--except I think that this POTUS is quite a bit worse than Louis the 16th. The French aristocracy refused to be even minimally cooperative in improving the well being of the populace. (For example, at that time, one loaf of bread cost 75% of a working family's weekly wage.)In our case, the POTUS leads the ruin and ruinous politicians come running to gain personal advantage while being conveniently weak and unmotivated to stand up to the multifarious injustices. Before the French Revolution, the dynamics were reversed. Either way, I firmly believe that the constant noise this administration is making is really a death rattle of old, heretofore unchecked abusive behavior over uninformed constituency. Congress is filled with mostly new age versions of the aristocracy--and looked what happened in the end! The entire system of monarchy and aristocracy was erased from the country. OK, it wasn't all pretty and fair and clean, and this parallel does not work from every angle, but perhaps you get the drift. This administration has a shelf life. Compassionate people of all political stripes need to engage, communicate, and drive change. The narcissists have neither motivation nor skill to effect any positive change.
...as if government and its vile bureaucracy wasn't absolutely jam packed with grandiose power hungry individuals, regardless of party affiliations. Let's try some objectivity and an honest historical survey.
Hi there and thanks for your brilliant, insightful videos. I was married to a narcopath for 15 years and ended up losing my career, health, finances, friends, home etc etc. However I've come through a far better person. I'd like you to please make a video on co parenting with these demons. It's just not possible as they treat co parenting as nothing more than another opportunity to inflict more pain, chaos and mayhem.
Why do you think it's becoming more prevalent? Thank you for this empowering information.
The only thing, that qualifies me for answering is the fact that I do have NPD and read a lot about it. Some reasons, not ordererd by importance. However, there are few studies that actually show an increase in percentages of a general society of NPD. There seems to be a general feeling of an increase (maybe of narcissism, not particular the disorder).
1. A consumerist, increasing _materially_ affluent Western society after WW2 that gave people the false hope that following generations would live an easier, "better" life and a belief, that their kids could achieve and succeed in areas that the parent generations and many generations before could not "if they truely want to" (... they should want to ...) "can become, be and get anything they want to".
2. A steady competition within this society for aqcuiring more symbols of wealth, coupled with fast progress in technology and availability (new car, new iphone ... ). Kids become symbols of wealth, too. Their achievement is another way of competing with others. Of course, they are something "special".
3. A change to self-focused and individualistic behaviour and a retreat of the collective in general - Durkheim's anomie. Which itself has self-enforcing influence on parenting styles.
4. The progress of media technology. Selfies and (un-)social media.
5. Narcissism is a predominantly a male phenomenon and as woman get emancipated narcissism gets distuinguishable and open to criticism.
6. Kids stay more at home, stay segregated and use electronics and play less with peers, and if so, adults choose which one.
7. Mobility. Not social mobility. If your narcissism doesn't work at one place ... go to another, try it again.
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I am a psychotherapist in the US. I watch and read and constantly try to expand my knowledge. I find that many videos describe disorders but do not discuss ideas about how to treat them. Can you do, or do you have any suggestions of where i can look to get others’ ideas? I would also like to see a video about borderline personality disorder, which is not in the ICD. The closest is emotional disregulation disorder. I like how you describe the narcissist, can you do one on borderlines. Thank you.