Jordan Peterson - Side Effects of Telling Lies

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  • Опубликовано: 4 фев 2025
  • original source: • 2017 Maps of Meaning 0...
    Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains how the lies you tell grow in complexity and have unexpected outcomes that you cannot control in the long run.
    Dr. Peterson's new book is available for pre-order:
    12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: amzn.to/2yvJf9L
    If you want to support Dr. Peterson, here is his Patreon:
    / jordanbpeterson
    Check out Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring Program, a powerful tool to sort yourself out:
    bit.ly/selfAuth (Official affiliate link for Bite-sized Philosophy)

Комментарии • 1,7 тыс.

  • @ashleybryant305
    @ashleybryant305 5 лет назад +1153

    "One of the advantages to telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you've said". I love this.

    • @usieq9727
      @usieq9727 4 года назад +12

      Right! I said it over and over again in my head so I’ll remember this quote.

    • @ashleybryant305
      @ashleybryant305 4 года назад +2

      @@usieq9727 Amen to that. 🤓

    • @patricksinnermachinations3591
      @patricksinnermachinations3591 3 года назад +4

      Yeah but thats thinking of lying from the perspective of someone who is honest, me myself a compulsive liar for many years now will just alter the story and create a new reality right there and then works

    • @drrxdoomsday440
      @drrxdoomsday440 2 года назад +1

      So, basically a liar's weakpoint is their memory. Thank you. Pce

    • @danquarterman
      @danquarterman 2 года назад +2

      Mmmm... Yes and no.

  • @d_m5_
    @d_m5_ 5 лет назад +1245

    I really do regret all the lies I've ever told because it's never been worth it. Recently I've realized that I lie when I'm insecure or want control of the situation. Hopefully I can tell the truth from now on and stop being so weak

    • @johnk4934
      @johnk4934 5 лет назад +7

      How're you doing?

    • @aliqatishat3790
      @aliqatishat3790 5 лет назад +31

      @Mike Knight That's probably a problem. Be honest about everything - to yourself first and foremost. This doesn't mean open up completely to everyone

    • @earthwormsim8068
      @earthwormsim8068 5 лет назад +7

      You shall get there. We all will

    • @Edisius95
      @Edisius95 5 лет назад +56

      Experiences hard wire your brain during childhood. The likelihood you will truly escape the psychological hole you have dug yourself is low, because most people that do lie are weak like you said and give up before making any real progress because it takes real effort and the ability to admit when you're wrong to be able to change those things. Most people are too ego driven to do it. But when they are 50 and all alone and no one wants their wrinkly narcissistic ass, they will be too far in that hole to EVER escape it and will die alone with no one. No kids, no wife/husband, no friends... nothing. All because they ALLOWED their ego to control their behavior for immediate and temporary self gratification that is meaningless in the grander scheme of things.
      Not only that, but liars entirely destroy their own credibility. Completely annihilated. People might believe a few lies at first, but after a while you will say something that contradicts what you said earlier and people will catch on to the lie. It can be the smallest tiniest detail, if it's not consistent with reality and what you say, people get suspicious of you and stop taking what you say as anything that holds real weight and is actually worth listening to. People don't want to waste their time with it. And I dont blame them!
      You have to really truly want to change your ways. That desire 100% has to come from within you. No one else. Not from people telling you over and over to stop doing something, because that more often than not makes people do the opposite out of spite (another narcissistic trait I might add).. the desire has to come from you. You have to truly see the upsides to constant truth telling for that desire to really ignite in you. And you'll either develop that desire for authentic change after boxing yourself in with lies so many times over your life and eventually you will get tired of it, because people WILL see through it, or your ego will take 100% possession of your inner self and you'll completely lose what little bit of yourself you have left. I've seen it enough in other people and believe me, you don't want that to happen to you!
      It's a vicious cycle of self destruction and the destruction of those in your immediate circle. But that's how it leaves you alone and alienated as life goes on.
      As a person who is a truth teller and values authenticity in my daily life, I hope you are able to find a way to see through to the other side and come to the decision that will leave you feeling so much more complete and a well rounded overall happy person. The path you take is up to you, but keep in mind their ends are entirely polar opposite.
      Just something to think about... best of luck to you in your endeavors 😎

    • @Hvb101
      @Hvb101 4 года назад +35

      I lied about myself in relationships. It was painful. I hate being a liar, it's not worth it

  • @eveninggreys3190
    @eveninggreys3190 7 лет назад +3212

    "So the blue fairy shows up…" This is a good video

    • @RoubexChubeTV
      @RoubexChubeTV 7 лет назад +6

      evening greys lolllllllll

    • @Henrydingus01123
      @Henrydingus01123 6 лет назад +15

      An honest lol there my dude.

    • @hypemugen
      @hypemugen 6 лет назад +2

      Judging the book by the cover I see... CX

    • @tahah.babikir7698
      @tahah.babikir7698 6 лет назад +17

      evening greys
      This is not the mans introduction, this is just an analogy that he brought up during his lecture.
      Analogies are the best ways to learn.

    • @Zen-rw2fz
      @Zen-rw2fz 6 лет назад +9

      THAT'S NATURE

  • @jamestoney3111
    @jamestoney3111 6 лет назад +2255

    I hate a liar more than a thief. Thief wants my salary. Liar wants my reality

    • @atlas1542
      @atlas1542 4 года назад +80

      @James Toney thats some deep shit bruh

    • @cameronragsdale1402
      @cameronragsdale1402 4 года назад +13

      James toney was one if not the greatest of sll time. Best damn shoulder roll defensd i ever saw.

    • @Gamingclutch1993
      @Gamingclutch1993 4 года назад +7

      @@atlas1542 i know man that was deep ax fuck

    • @pcadamtaylor4262
      @pcadamtaylor4262 4 года назад +30

      And Issac Newton wants my gravity

    • @rudolfb9359
      @rudolfb9359 4 года назад +51

      The thief and the liar are the same.
      A liar steals you the right to know the truth.

  • @jmacsss
    @jmacsss 2 года назад +58

    His speech about twisting the fabrics of reality was so powerful. It made me be a much more honest person. "No one gets to twist the fabric of reality"

  • @mikka9368
    @mikka9368 5 лет назад +103

    "tell the truth minimally and effectively when you're in a bad situation" wow this is true

  • @vexelreglage
    @vexelreglage 7 лет назад +1558

    Man, what would we do without Jordan's videos?

    • @0i0l0o
      @0i0l0o 7 лет назад +3

      good point.

    • @TheBardorp
      @TheBardorp 7 лет назад +84

      vexelreglage not sort ourselves out.

    • @Theseus9-cl7ol
      @Theseus9-cl7ol 7 лет назад +37

      Why would anyone need to pay alot of money to go to a shrink, when they can hear out Prof. Peterson's lectures on RUclips? Listen and learn from him, and you can work out the demons in your life. He speaks true stuff, he speaks the workings of the mind.

    • @jackspradt1562
      @jackspradt1562 7 лет назад +11

      beat off...

    • @vinb4495
      @vinb4495 7 лет назад +8

      We'd be unable to sort ourselves oat

  • @jugulator0
    @jugulator0 7 лет назад +915

    A liar not only alters and distorts reality and truth....They distort themselves....Clever fable.

    • @darnellthankya5076
      @darnellthankya5076 5 лет назад +3

      Pulling the Strings than your just like everyone else

    • @yasser_hussain
      @yasser_hussain 5 лет назад +1

      @@darnellthankya5076 what's wrong with being just like everyone else?

    • @fredericmoresmau4303
      @fredericmoresmau4303 5 лет назад +3

      @Pulling the Strings I didn't lie. I actually was too truthful

    • @fredericmoresmau4303
      @fredericmoresmau4303 5 лет назад +3

      @@darnellthankya5076 and they took advantage of my friendly nature

    • @fredericmoresmau4303
      @fredericmoresmau4303 5 лет назад

      That actually is the truth
      Not that I hurt them.....
      They took advantage and when I was wrecked I made mistakes that every person does

  • @JOHNsmith-hr1lo
    @JOHNsmith-hr1lo 6 лет назад +45

    “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said”. What a line that is.

  • @TotalRookie_LV
    @TotalRookie_LV 7 лет назад +574

    My memory is terrible, just one more reason why I avoid lying at any cost.

    • @Morgow1
      @Morgow1 7 лет назад +21

      No memory is capable enough to save a single lie - the smallest of truth has the power over all the greatest of lies. It would be so - that nothing would be possible if truth didn't have it so.

    • @barnacleboi2595
      @barnacleboi2595 5 лет назад +7

      Great way to lie and remember your lies is to be conscientious about how you normally talk and what mannerisms you use in normal conversations and apply them into your lies, also never over explain when lying, and most of all, convince yourself that the lie is true. Maybe im just a sociopath but i cant tell you how many horrible things ive gotten away with completely haha. Big issue with that is dealing with the pretty deep guilt when remembering those things though

    • @quantroots
      @quantroots 5 лет назад +1

      @@barnacleboi2595 that is correct. I know by experience that some people are just fabulous liars using similar techniques.

    • @masterson0713
      @masterson0713 5 лет назад

      @@barnacleboi2595 like what

    • @selamlaut8165
      @selamlaut8165 5 лет назад +3

      I hate lying, that's why I still remember my previous lies.

  • @AlanWattResistance
    @AlanWattResistance 7 лет назад +261

    "The disposition of a liar is dishonourable, and his shame is ever with him." - Ecclesiasticus, 20:26

    • @abbieb8130
      @abbieb8130 7 лет назад +31

      "...and the truth will set you free." -Jesus of Nazareth

    • @wesskedelly507
      @wesskedelly507 7 лет назад +10

      The book of Ecclesiastes only has 12 chapters. There is no 20:26. Your comment is a lie.

    • @johnfinlay4864
      @johnfinlay4864 6 лет назад +17

      I found your comment very appropriate for the video under discussion but then found that the book of Ecclesiasticus is not the same as Ecclesiastes.

    • @gypsyamerican6242
      @gypsyamerican6242 6 лет назад +1

      Artur Bondarenco "......and we killed him and we will never wash off the blood"

    • @The231447LucidDevTeam
      @The231447LucidDevTeam 6 лет назад +10

      @@wesskedelly507 He's quoting the apocryphal book Ecclesiasticus, not Ecclesiastes

  • @kevinhornbuckle
    @kevinhornbuckle 7 лет назад +2649

    In a sense, liars are thieves. They counterfeit reality to create advantages for themselves.

    • @Morgow1
      @Morgow1 7 лет назад +85

      Not only thieves, but every kind of sinner imaginable. Lies can even lead to death.

    • @Theseus9-cl7ol
      @Theseus9-cl7ol 7 лет назад +23

      Yes true, lies seem to lead to other sins or evils.

    • @Lejmej
      @Lejmej 7 лет назад +108

      Kevin Hornbuckle It's totally possible for the truth to lead to death as well...

    • @Blaze098890
      @Blaze098890 7 лет назад +52

      The truth might lead do death while a lie might not. Then what is the right decision?

    • @Morgow1
      @Morgow1 7 лет назад +17

      ot chuk sekira, truth does not lead to death, it can only free you. If someone does not want you to be free, a murderer might kill you. Truth does not lead to death, madness leads to death. So whatever truth you suspect might kill you - keep it to yourself until a better time, or unless you absolutely have to say it to save someone.

  • @mirzacausevic7891
    @mirzacausevic7891 6 лет назад +420

    Man I would like to be at his class what a privilage for these students just to listen to him

    • @dionysus3774
      @dionysus3774 5 лет назад +1

      @@markomilan1702 😂

    • @reudensplasher1659
      @reudensplasher1659 5 лет назад +1

      No question he is very experienced in his field of study but if you go to any University you will find the same thing

    • @Ryo-xx1lm
      @Ryo-xx1lm 5 лет назад +18

      @@reudensplasher1659 LOL. You have no clue.

    • @trevdogbunkers1048
      @trevdogbunkers1048 5 лет назад

      Marko Milan yeah but endlessness

    • @ws8668
      @ws8668 3 года назад

      Lol you are mate

  • @michaelrhodes6730
    @michaelrhodes6730 6 лет назад +26

    There's a reason he's so popular. Nobody else makes such powerful deductions from things like myths and stories and explains how they relate to real life. And explains "why" you shouldn't lie. Not just that you shouldn't.

  • @MoonJung82
    @MoonJung82 7 лет назад +440

    My initial thought at the start was "I don't have any lies/glad I don't have that problem." Then I remembered some things....

  • @SKelly326
    @SKelly326 7 лет назад +938

    Speech +10

    • @___xyz___
      @___xyz___ 6 лет назад +12

      10/10 speech + 10 speech = 110/10 speech = 11 speech

    • @Real-Name..Maqavoy
      @Real-Name..Maqavoy 6 лет назад +2

      I do not speak to public,
      I just do not.
      #missdiagnozed a 3rd time

    • @mr_something953
      @mr_something953 5 лет назад +2

      @@Real-Name..Maqavoy Oh hi, Mark

  • @aaronhumes2615
    @aaronhumes2615 4 года назад +90

    I always say if you make it a habit to practice honesty you'll be able to tell a lie just from hearing it because truth and lies are literally like two different languages

    • @katielung6515
      @katielung6515 2 года назад +3

      Beautiful ❤️🙏

    • @JourneymanLineman
      @JourneymanLineman Год назад +6

      This statement is naive in nature, it will allow sociopaths and the psychopaths to prey on you.

    • @xalmightyy
      @xalmightyy Год назад

      ⁠@RitaMcCloud777He means that if you go into a conversation under the assumption you’ll be able to tell lies from the truth everytime you can easily fall prey to psychopaths whose second nature is basically to lie, charm and manipulate you for their own personal gain. To be naive is to be an easy victim

    • @ARBackfire
      @ARBackfire 2 месяца назад

      You’ve fortunately never met an experienced liar. Some people can think quick enough to blend lies fluidly. It’s especially effective when you blend the truth in with a lie.

  • @almacintosh161
    @almacintosh161 6 лет назад +202

    Liars cause a lot of collateral damage in relationships.

    • @battleforutopia1247
      @battleforutopia1247 4 года назад +5

      Yes they do! My wife is this way. Trying to fix it but we shall see.

    • @NikHuhr
      @NikHuhr 4 года назад

      pLeAsE eXpLaIn HoW tHiS wOrKs

    • @ManuelsLaureano
      @ManuelsLaureano 8 месяцев назад

      How has life been so far?​@@battleforutopia1247

  • @JazzHandzLMT
    @JazzHandzLMT 5 лет назад +420

    The most common side effect of lying are the pants on fire....

    • @Red_dot_randy
      @Red_dot_randy 5 лет назад +4

      😂😂😂😂

    • @roguesheep3083
      @roguesheep3083 4 года назад +4

      One time this chick in Bethlehem lied about how she got pregnant and that got completely out of control.

    • @TheCarpenter1.1
      @TheCarpenter1.1 4 года назад +1

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Adrian_Estando
      @Adrian_Estando 4 года назад +3

      This cannot be understated.

    • @TheAntManChannel
      @TheAntManChannel 4 года назад +2

      Could be the answer to spontaneous combustion

  • @magburner
    @magburner 6 лет назад +58

    You should never tell lies, and for one simple reason. If you tell a lie, you have to remember it. It stays there in your head, being juggled around always kept on standby, just in case you might need it. However, if you tell the truth, you can forget about it, because whilst lies can change and morph into something else, and you have to remember each and every permutation told to every single person, the truth never changes, it always remains the same, no matter how many times that you tell it.

    • @stevewildeagle965
      @stevewildeagle965 Год назад +1

      Then if you hate your boss I suggest you tell them or YOUR lying to yourself, go go it.

    • @magburner
      @magburner Год назад

      ​@@stevewildeagle965eh?

    • @Akay-v8q
      @Akay-v8q Год назад

      or maybe keep your mouth shut hahaha@@stevewildeagle965

  • @the_infinity_channel
    @the_infinity_channel 3 года назад +13

    This man is like Father to most of us , and those kids . What a great honest man , telling a true learning kids how life really is. Most teacher do not learn us about real life.

    • @Paul-t3q
      @Paul-t3q Месяц назад

      Pretty much , he is soo wise .

  • @freespiritwithnature4384
    @freespiritwithnature4384 3 года назад +12

    If you must lie ,lie in the arms of the one you love…
    If you must cheat, try to cheat death…
    If you must steal, steal every precious moment you have together…

  • @Suutari4
    @Suutari4 6 лет назад +74

    "One of the advantages of telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said" That's very true. It's actually very hard to keep the story together when you tell one guy this and the other guy that. Getting caught is so humiliating. It's easier just to tell the truth.

  • @Hibernia63
    @Hibernia63 6 лет назад +82

    I love listening to Prof. Peterson's lectures - he has helped me a lot in my own personal life. This is one of the most hard hitting for me though - I grew up with an adoptive mother who was a pathological liar - and today if my wife tells my son its the last one (when she is feeding him for example) and its not the last one I go mental at her and insists that she tells my son the absolute truth no matter how small the lie is. There is no point in lying to others as you are really only lying to yourself!

  • @e99fuy0ng
    @e99fuy0ng 7 лет назад +1136

    This is all too real for me. I used to be what you might call a compulsive liar and the 'hydra' is an accurate archetypal manifestation of lying. If you take that path far enough you become pathological to the core of your being and that's not a great place to be. If not for JP I wouldn't have seen the error in my ways and i'm trying to live forthrightly, although it's not easy but I can say one thing, it's insurmountably better than living a life of deceit.

    • @un33q
      @un33q 7 лет назад +41

      how long did you deal with the compulsive lying for before you changed your ways? I'm dealing with this issue currently and am worried I may be in too far to fix it...

    • @e99fuy0ng
      @e99fuy0ng 7 лет назад +61

      Probably 6/7 years? I don't necessarily think so. I kind of think of the lie as contorting yourself to fit into something that isn't you. It's also what you've managed to come up with as the best solution for dealing with whatever problem you have. You just have to let go of the lie but simultaneously see that there's a better solution which is telling the truth in every sense of your being, just like JP says "The truth is the antidote for suffering".

    • @ezbayt2616
      @ezbayt2616 7 лет назад +62

      Compulsive lying is a tricky slope. The more frequently you lie the better you get, your lies become truth in your own mind and eventually you are even able to convince yourself of your own lies. You begin to build false realities in your mind and get so sucked up into those realities that you forget about everyone and everything, all you know and care about is the delicate reality you have meticulously constructed within your own mind. You build a fake persona, you begin to watch people, learn what makes them tick and eventually manipulate them to see you as a "God". Relationships fail, because nothing about you was build on truth. So beware. These people are hard to spot and they will drag you into their spiral deception and make you feel as though you are the insane one, and when that happens you are FUCKED. Sociopaths and narcissists are great liars and great manipulators, to the point that it is an art form. But they all have their tells. My advice to you.

    • @derrickzupf7559
      @derrickzupf7559 7 лет назад +7

      David - well said. my personal story is similar.

    • @mandarkastronomonov2962
      @mandarkastronomonov2962 7 лет назад +9

      Hey guys, thanks for this. It's a real edifying post which I thoroughly enjoyed and learned from. I hope others can add to the discussion.

  • @jdekush2472
    @jdekush2472 4 года назад +11

    Jordan helped me stop lying by just listening to what he has to say about it, i lied about everything. About stuff that don’t even matter but I did because it was an old habit I had my whole life. Thank you Jordan ❤️

  • @timjmars
    @timjmars 5 лет назад +21

    these college students have no idea how lucky they are to have this guy as a professor

  • @the-chillian
    @the-chillian 7 лет назад +51

    1:40 -- Judge Judy says that all the time. The ways she catches people in lies is either by looking for inconsistencies in their stories, or failing that by paying attention to when they have to stop and remember what they'd said before.

  • @notmyopinion4981
    @notmyopinion4981 4 года назад +68

    I hate liars so much. The thing I learned to value in people the most as I grew up was honesty. When I was younger I thought as long as people can't prove reality is different, for example if we hide our motives and feelings, that that is not really lying, since only we know the truth. But thats still lying. People deserve to choose the people they want to have around them. If I am being dishonest about who I am, i am taking away the choice of someone.

    • @ronrendon
      @ronrendon 2 года назад +3

      Hate?! Hate?! Loathe perhaps. But HATE. When I think of hate i think of the Nazis. Very strong word; be careful how you use it.

    • @Supermariocrosser
      @Supermariocrosser Год назад +1

      I hate honest people who never accept people who are cripplingly lonely until they have to lie to be accepted by them.

    • @MindMoulder
      @MindMoulder Год назад

      @@Supermariocrosser If you have to lie to become accepted, then change so you can be accepted rather than lie about who you are???
      If you got negative traits, then lying is a quick fix, actually changing your behaviour will be hard but long lasting and way more rewarding on all planes for everyone involved.
      To be honest you sound like you are someone that just want to wallow in misery and have an emotional tampon around to dump your shit on to make yourself feel better.. But i could be wrong.

  • @EyeLean5280
    @EyeLean5280 6 лет назад +24

    My dearest friend once said, "I figured out as I grew up that telling a lie puts me in opposition to the universe, and sets me on a path that cannot serve me."
    I think that's the best explanation of what happens when we lie that I've ever heard.

    • @Paul-t3q
      @Paul-t3q Месяц назад

      Thank you for sharing , i have never heard that phrase before , powerful .

  • @tedtillson5482
    @tedtillson5482 4 года назад +9

    I love Jordan Peterson, he strips away all the unnecessary and reminds me of the truths I knew before the world blur the lines.

  • @lumpyfishgravy
    @lumpyfishgravy 7 лет назад +338

    It's the coverup, always the coverup. Pride forbids the dishonest person from admitting their fault. Or they might be an entitled narcissist who genuinely believes their own lies.

    • @MiauFrito
      @MiauFrito 7 лет назад +22

      Liars lie because they're afraid of the consequences of telling an uncomfortable truth. Then they become afraid of people discovering that they've lied. Don't be so harsh on them, show them that you won't judge them negatively for being truthful

    • @epizafio
      @epizafio 6 лет назад +23

      Frito Not in every case, like narcissistics who sometimes lie in order to keep their dominance and other things they get from their manipulation on others, and when confronted with facts they cannot run from, turn in denial and violent as if they where outraged.

    • @andreasleonlandgren3092
      @andreasleonlandgren3092 6 лет назад +3

      Miau Frito exactly understanding from others is key

    • @andreasleonlandgren3092
      @andreasleonlandgren3092 6 лет назад +1

      Miau Frito they are very hard on themselves.

    • @davidfarmer2049
      @davidfarmer2049 6 лет назад +2

      MIke does the truth always come out?
      I've been the victim of a cover -up.

  • @warrenpike4811
    @warrenpike4811 6 лет назад +7

    Always amazes me how he says things that make perfect and self-evident sense, but I would never think of it myself.

  • @user-pb2kg1ng4g
    @user-pb2kg1ng4g Год назад +2

    'Honesty is a relative virtue' and 'It's ok to break the rules . . . if it creates value' are worth contemplating.

  • @jmoneyb4gs
    @jmoneyb4gs Год назад +13

    I lied a lot in life and have recently changed to become a better person. It’s not good to lie. It’s better to accept yourself and accept things for what they are.

  • @andrewspencer5220
    @andrewspencer5220 4 года назад +11

    Socrates was asked what is the consequence of telling a lie. He replied "The next time you tell the truth, you may not be believed."

  • @whateverppl1229
    @whateverppl1229 5 лет назад +10

    5:40 I once told someone a lie, then they told other people and I had to create lies for the lie and it grew exponentially. I created this entire tree of lies on the spot and still remember it all. I didn't expect him to tell other people that we just met.

  • @jamesfox1143
    @jamesfox1143 2 года назад +4

    I usually don’t like Jordan Peterson but I needed to hear this one. I recently just confessed to a lie I told my girlfriend for years. I tried to project this image of myself that isn’t true. I feel like such a rotten person and that hasn’t gone away since fessing up. But I feel better now that I’ve put away this one. Please don’t be that guy. Stop it before it gets worse, it’s a disease

    • @TalesFromTheSlumsOfMumbai
      @TalesFromTheSlumsOfMumbai 2 года назад

      If you don’t lie the other person will and they will look better then you because of those lies and they will be in a better position, you need to lie strategically

  • @change_nick8430
    @change_nick8430 6 лет назад +18

    My respect for this man is HUGE

  • @ciaranmanca9381
    @ciaranmanca9381 5 лет назад +5

    I think it’s great that he has those moments that connect us to him, like when he says “Anthony Weiner... what a great name for him”. It shows us that not everything he thinks is intellectual and important, but he can also laugh at silly things as well

  • @donaldghiata4021
    @donaldghiata4021 4 года назад +21

    More often than not there is no reason to lie. Sometimes it's easier to ""not speak"". We don't need to answer all questions. We have the right to keep our mouths shut , especially when gossipy and nosey people ask us questions.

    • @endgamefond
      @endgamefond 3 года назад

      Sometimes not speaking is wrong coz we'll be the victim here and they won't see that they're wrong

    • @garystinten9339
      @garystinten9339 3 года назад

      Not speaking can also make you look more dubious by providing no feedback that will implicate you and no I'm not talking about time to process incoming information when you have all the information, I'm talking about having received all the information and realising give been caught.. especially when she says loudly " I slept with him... Is that what you want to hear? My ultimate response is.. only if that's what happened.... After that the subject was off limits but she left the room after she shut it down which indicates to me she wants to distance herself of the topic..

    • @katielung6515
      @katielung6515 2 года назад

      Amen 🙏

  • @stevevater8598
    @stevevater8598 6 лет назад +9

    Having helped raise my kids , I learned why some people lie. It's because they are afraid, they learn they can escape the nastiness . But then they don't learn the consequences long term . It all starts in childhood but in these modern times its not PC to hold children to account . It's not going to end well .

  • @peterfitzpatrick7032
    @peterfitzpatrick7032 5 лет назад +10

    The need to be honest & truthful is SO underrated , particularly by the (unexperienced ) young.
    If one gets a reputation as a liar, people will judge you negatively on many more issues. It is a character-flaw & those who have it also,generally, have other flaws. It will stick with you for the rest of your life.
    From truth flows ...
    Trustworthiness
    Dependability
    Morality
    Personal Responsibility
    Self awareness
    "Good-ness"
    Humility
    & many more...
    If someone lies to me, I evaluate them as being not worthy of my time or effort. I will avoid any form of engagement with them ... because... well, they are frauds, no good can come from engaging with such a person.
    Just my 2c.
    Loving the JP lectures.. 😎👍

  • @iamnotafraidiwasborntodoth5688
    @iamnotafraidiwasborntodoth5688 7 лет назад +226

    For the most part people don't care if they lie, they want what they want in that moment and if lying gets it for you - then who cares "the end justifies the means". They throw away everything about themselves of worth when they lie and they don't care. They just want what they want for the moment. And then they wonder why people don't respect them, or think they have anything worth saying.
    I always say if you don't think people know you are lying - think again, just because they don't call you out doesn't mean you got away with anything ... you just become known as a liar and from this day forth, nothing you say is believable - you have lost any and all credibility. But the people in this world don't really care about being a person of substance.

    • @MastaSmack
      @MastaSmack 7 лет назад

      But you have to be someone who cares what someone outside of you thinks about for anything you said to matter, which means you need others to validate you.

    • @gorkyd7912
      @gorkyd7912 7 лет назад +2

      Everyone wants others to validate them. The idea that they don't is another deception, although it's worthwhile to forego this desire at times when the cost of validation is higher than its actual worth.

    • @erin-james5264
      @erin-james5264 7 лет назад +7

      I am not afraid, I was born to do this.... excellent synopsis! Ive found that all liars are complete hypocrites. Im surrounded by liars and a group of people who blame every mistake on others. No accountability. It disgusts me!!!

    • @epikcyne
      @epikcyne 6 лет назад

      I completely agree with your statement

    • @darrenmcintosh8471
      @darrenmcintosh8471 2 года назад +1

      thats pure narcisism in action

  • @VenusVoice
    @VenusVoice 5 лет назад +12

    Jeez Mr. Peterson sure went through some kind of hell to have gathered the knowledge he has gathered.

  • @cIeetz
    @cIeetz 5 лет назад +8

    you can tell Jordan has dealt with his fair share of everything & everyone that has led him to obtain his vast wisdom

  • @charmainemiles4089
    @charmainemiles4089 Год назад +1

    I really love , the way professor Jordan peterson, gives his lectures, I wish I was there at that time. but what is truly wonderful is I get to watch him any hour of the day or night,

  • @pauljohnagustin237
    @pauljohnagustin237 2 года назад +3

    I live my life like an open book.
    It helps me deal with my insecurities.
    I accept them so that I cant get too hurt.
    It can hurt but I can get to terms with it quickly.
    Peace of mind is the real treasure in life.

  • @THE-POLYMATH
    @THE-POLYMATH 4 месяца назад +2

    If you lie to be nice , don't talk on people who lie for something else , both work for the same company

  • @realsh7992
    @realsh7992 5 лет назад +6

    I hate that I lie alot because I'm afraid of judgment I think if I loved myself more and had confidence I wouldn't lie at all

  • @lv5680
    @lv5680 6 лет назад +26

    I was in a relationship with a paranoid and violent girl. I was in the habit of being liberal with the truth, and god - I wish I had heard this lecture back then. Often I thought the safest thing to do would be to hold back details or obscure the truth or just outright lie to her so as not to make her upset or angry… not that I ever did anything that wrong, but she was so paranoid that even the littlest thing would set her off and so I tried my best to avoid that at all costs. Peterson is absolutely right - lying is the worst thing you could do in that situation. It made her paranoia so much worse. I might have avoided a lot of hell if I had been careful and given her the truth to work with instead. It was a horrible experience but it taught me a lot about the value of truth, and I have made a point of being an honest person ever since.

    • @gtamike_TSGK
      @gtamike_TSGK Год назад +1

      She might have had bipolar disorder

  • @robertleejameswelch8383
    @robertleejameswelch8383 7 лет назад +43

    In order to be good at reading a liar, you have to have been around them. Some people lie like it's a language. People call being honest,"blunt". I don't know any other way to be. If truth bothers you, you'll loathe my company. When you don't give a damn and feel that you have nothing to prove, you won't feel the need to lie.

  • @LeanneGC101
    @LeanneGC101 6 лет назад +71

    Are these students aware of how blessed they are to have JBP as their prof?!

    • @ch-17vevo55
      @ch-17vevo55 5 лет назад +3

      LeanneGC101 I love that Jesus picture- I made a massive poster using that exact same painting and it’s stunning- good on you

    • @themask706
      @themask706 5 лет назад +4

      I dont think the apostles even knew how blessed they were. You don't know what you got till its raved about by others who don't have it.

  • @tolutaiwo5416
    @tolutaiwo5416 5 лет назад +56

    5:27 "The problem with lying is that, it's a hydra"
    Cut off one situation with a lie, two more shall take its place. :p

    • @blob5907
      @blob5907 5 лет назад +1

      being truthful to the point of hurting people is bad too

    • @tolutaiwo5416
      @tolutaiwo5416 5 лет назад +4

      @@blob5907 The truth hurts by default. Since we all want to hear the truth, we should be prepared to face the inevitable hurt.

    • @blob5907
      @blob5907 5 лет назад +1

      @@tolutaiwo5416 did you not hear what jordan peterson said about the truth?

    • @MayFlora
      @MayFlora 5 лет назад

      I understand that reference

  • @wordplayer17
    @wordplayer17 7 лет назад +64

    Peterson is just an absolute monster I love it.

    • @PhelesDragon
      @PhelesDragon 6 лет назад

      Luke Schreiter how?

    • @askh666m
      @askh666m 6 лет назад +3

      I think he means in his way of explaining things, because he's so clever and well spoken. I don't think he meant monster as in "bad person".

    • @Real-Name..Maqavoy
      @Real-Name..Maqavoy 6 лет назад

      Neither of these comments are sense-able to a degree of understand the train of thought.

    • @Glltbow16
      @Glltbow16 4 года назад

      Adam Maqavoy he meant it like hes a beast

  • @pingu7075
    @pingu7075 4 года назад +4

    IF you want to lie you need to accept every consequence

  • @mistervacation23
    @mistervacation23 Год назад +2

    It's hard to determine who tells the most lies real estate agents or attorneys. But those two have to be in a top 5

  • @sonias9722
    @sonias9722 5 лет назад +39

    The worst thing about lying is when you get drunk and reveal every lie you've told yourself

  • @abdelkaderdahmani9743
    @abdelkaderdahmani9743 10 месяцев назад

    I used to lie all the time , actually for along period of my life i haven’t once said something true .until i started mixing up between what actually happened and what i imagined, its a very hard process to heal from cause at some point u believe those lies and they part of u , u have to separate what actually happened from what u told urself happened and then erase it. To people who can’t lie .that a blessing itself. Keep it

  • @paulthoresen8241
    @paulthoresen8241 7 лет назад +232

    He is absolutely right about paranoid people. I'm quite a paranoid person and people don't realize how much I am paying attention to their every action and word and that it is stored for a very long time. I can understand a 'white lie', sure you didn't want to hurt some frail persons feelings, but I certain things you say or do will make me not trust you for a long time, or think less of you in general, especially when certain connections are made, such as noticing a contradiction.
    Saying things behind peoples backs, racial undertones, violent undertones, suspicious silence(eg conversation halting when a particular person nears, or when a particular topic comes up), who you are paying the most attention to, if you are paying attention to me, tapping on the desk(are you impatient? nervous?), this is a short list of things I am taking in of everyone I interact with or am surrounded by. By brain is trapped in an analytical process, so if there is some kind of contradiction or connection it's...well it's not always a "red flag", but it's like a 'spidey sense' this little light bulb goes off, the feeling of 'oh I get what is going on here'.
    The default position is not negative though, you have to earn suspicion. Problem is that it doesn't take long for most people to doing something immoral, but this means you feel very comfortable with those that consistently don't take negative action.
    Lies are a really bad one, people might be violent out of emotional outburst, or say means things, or be greedy, whatever, but there is calm intent with a lie, and it shakes the core of the trust between us. I don't feel comfortable talking to about anything personal, leaving you near my possessions, or hold any weight in your opinions.
    I don't want to make it sound so black and white, but hard to summarize without extreme length.

    • @johnk4934
      @johnk4934 5 лет назад +6

      "You go to great length to explain an insignificant event." -Raul Julia, 'Tequila Sunrise'

    • @annaeverette8960
      @annaeverette8960 5 лет назад +2

      @@genofire3304 Let's be friends.

    • @annaeverette8960
      @annaeverette8960 5 лет назад +5

      The default is, and should be, "you have to earn trust". Which is why I'm hyper-aware around nice people (but almost instantly feel guilty about it, which then kick-starts an interesting cycle of reactions).

    • @willjackson4505
      @willjackson4505 5 лет назад +9

      My wife is that way... I’m getting far away from her... don’t like the surveillance... and she was so concerned about me lying and turns out she’s the biggest liar I’ve ever met!!!

    • @earthwormsim8068
      @earthwormsim8068 5 лет назад +8

      You just seem like an extreme empath. Maybe you should do an eq test.
      I also do the same and scored rather high.

  • @saxyricks4731
    @saxyricks4731 6 лет назад +2

    This is a good summary-- Lies are like a Hydra, new heads appear for every head the lie kills.

  • @danielroy8232
    @danielroy8232 4 года назад +3

    in my experience telling the truth just gets me in trouble.

  • @charliechase7390
    @charliechase7390 5 лет назад +2

    Liars are admired more than honest individuals.

  • @9words40
    @9words40 4 года назад +13

    i used to think small funny lies are harmless, until my friends describe me as a liar, that actually break my heart

    • @iThiink
      @iThiink 2 года назад +1

      But you are if you do ..

    • @9words40
      @9words40 2 года назад

      @@iThiink im still telling lies as jokes now but i tell them it was a lie right after, work like a charm, stil got the laugh out of em and no karma afterward xD

  • @ninjapirate123
    @ninjapirate123 2 года назад +2

    Sometimes it may be good to lie, but mostly it's better to tell the truth

  • @curtis7595
    @curtis7595 5 лет назад +4

    Weed is 100% detrimental to my physical, emotional and mental well being. I started at 13, and proceeded to smoke it in the mind set that it's not bad for me and I enjoy it. this was the mind set until I was late 17 and I realised how much of a grasp weed has over me financially and socially. I'm 19 now and started my Inc

  • @jtaylor1311
    @jtaylor1311 7 лет назад

    i came back for a retroactive like from the linked video in description, INCLUDED A TIMELINK TOO. Amazing channel management really appreciate the commitment

  • @digitt2
    @digitt2 7 лет назад +12

    Side affect of telling lies? To become compulsive with lie detection. Its a very useful thing to have. I'm surprised how many don't really want to know....

  • @jeannetterw
    @jeannetterw 7 лет назад +1

    I had an acutely paranoid-schizophrenic brother. I really really wish that people knew more that honesty, genuineness, and consideration are KEY. They are way smarter emotionally in a way.

  • @theurbanwolf298
    @theurbanwolf298 6 лет назад +4

    I have ADHD and I always end up telling most people,”think before you speak, because I, am paying attention”. I guess now I know I am hyper vigilant!

  • @pennstom
    @pennstom Год назад

    I'm grateful that he recorded his lectures.

  • @apexlifeismine100
    @apexlifeismine100 2 года назад +4

    Real eyes realize real lies

  • @justinlawrence1672
    @justinlawrence1672 5 лет назад +2

    Some people come from bad backgrounds and lie out of personal safety for themselves and sometimes they may do it for so long that it becomes normal and in a way a sense of safety

  • @TCOMC32
    @TCOMC32 6 лет назад +4

    I learned to lie very early in life for self preservation i think the hardest part is keeping your story straight and the way to do that was tell as much truth as you can i still lie to my mom every day to keep ny relationship with my underage siblings that i raised and i dont feel bad for it because i cannot abandon them.

  • @-m7k0z7-9
    @-m7k0z7-9 5 лет назад +1

    What have just happned MADE MY DAY!
    I looked at the video and said: "This video really needs Arabic translation"; then BAM, Arabic subtitles were automatically ON.
    THANKS FOR WHOM EVER TRANSLATED THIS TO ARABIC

  • @gageboy14
    @gageboy14 2 года назад +4

    I see the effects of lies when someone makes up a lie about you behind your back. At work a co worker was drinking on the job. They found the bottles and the guy blamed me. Told them I was drinking..Almost lost my job.

  • @harrietgloria8792
    @harrietgloria8792 Год назад

    Its a dark world without Jordan Peterson.

  • @Ryan-ze9fz
    @Ryan-ze9fz 4 года назад +6

    My ex is an addict and he would go on occasional meth binges and it would make him super paranoid and violent. I found out on my own that telling the truth in those situations was best. Do not be mindlessly nice to those people- just be very straight forward with them. They are hyper vigilant and will notice in discrepancy in your facial expressions. He would imagine in his head that I had some secret plan to get him in trouble (which I didn’t) or to hurt him in some way.

  • @riverican
    @riverican 8 месяцев назад +2

    Would like to see a video on ppl who have an inability to lie??and do so many ppl lie that it is hard to find those who do not?

  • @isaachill4764
    @isaachill4764 4 года назад +12

    "advantage of telling the truth is that i dont have to remember what i said" ... im so lazy to remember shit im sold on this

  • @EdeYOlorDSZs
    @EdeYOlorDSZs 3 года назад +1

    Beautiful example of an escalation of commitment

  • @danquarterman
    @danquarterman 2 года назад +9

    This is pretty solid. I grew up in a fishing family. There's not a bigger buncha liars on earth. I grew up lying like crazy... I didn't know it was bad to lie, as everyone around me did it all day every day. I was the only one to go to collage in my family, and what an awakening it was to meet folks who don't lie n don't cheat. I made REAL friends who cared and respected me. I obviously only go home for holiday's now. I stay away from my crazy family. They all lie so much and about such small petty things. It's UNREAL, all one can do is just nod and play along, as calling them out makes me the enemy.

  • @side-eyewarrior823
    @side-eyewarrior823 5 лет назад +3

    My family are such assholes, I had to lie to protect myself from them even though I haven't lived with them for decades. Since getting rid of them, I haven't had to tell one lie because no one around me tries to mess with me. Sometimes if you have to lie to feel safe around people, just cut them off.

  • @jt.189
    @jt.189 2 года назад +2

    There are lies and then there are LIES it's a strong word that we should use carefully because once you call out a lier it is never the same again especially when it is the truth! Always be honest

  • @richardjamesclemo6235
    @richardjamesclemo6235 6 лет назад +3

    I tell the truth. Nothing to do with honesty. Just hate having to remember lies and living with guilt.

  • @Leinja
    @Leinja Год назад

    "What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."

  • @kickma
    @kickma Год назад +10

    I hate myself. I had lied to my parents. I lied others. Cause I’m insecure and want some kind of control. And He’s right. I guess I am evil. But I’m just so addicted to lying that I lied to myself. It hurts me that I can’t even describe it. Sad that I grew up watching Pinocchio, yet being an 21 year old. I ironically became Pinocchio and Peter Pan in Peterson’s case… No wonder I feel so depressed. Am I the only one who feels this way?

    • @Silkmoon-g5r
      @Silkmoon-g5r Год назад

      You're not alone man

    • @AS-tt6ui
      @AS-tt6ui Год назад

      Why not write a journal of your daily life activities truthfully.
      So that it keeps you grounded in the direction of truth.

  • @francesbernard2445
    @francesbernard2445 5 месяцев назад

    I like how Jordan PEterson describes that kind of dynamic. Since as we get older our perception is less reliable controlling people are at way higher risk of becoming paranoid. That kind of person who is very controlling getting old too is not always somebody who is big. Since all of us in that one respect start gettiing old at around age 8 then a whole lot of chaos can unfold from just one lie. Amid all of the killers in the world everywhere else who fight for honor even if they know it is going to kill them.

  • @tRuStThEsCiEnCeBiGoT
    @tRuStThEsCiEnCeBiGoT 7 лет назад +135

    I want to hear the rest of the airport story!

    • @JoseAlvarado-fj8uo
      @JoseAlvarado-fj8uo 7 лет назад +1

      FlatEarthHypothesis cliffhanger

    • @louispconstant6624
      @louispconstant6624 6 лет назад +4

      Cliffhanger... He told his story to the cop, The cop didn't care and asked him to move to the other line and he did EXACTLY what the officer said (as planned). ;-)

    • @gendoruwo6322
      @gendoruwo6322 5 лет назад

      @louis p constant : that sounds realistic.

  • @maidenmarian1
    @maidenmarian1 2 года назад +1

    Lies ruin society. The bonds of trust are the glue between people. Trust is glue.

  • @sdws17
    @sdws17 6 лет назад +6

    Everyone lies sometimes. Even a nervous fake smile is a lie if you get down to it, and we have all done that. I don't think lying is inherently bad, it just depends on the situation. I do agree that keeping lies up, doubling down on them, can create a heavy burden for yourself though. I guess it's all about picking your battles.

  • @jakecorynthian3516
    @jakecorynthian3516 6 лет назад +1

    It’s refreshing and grounding to listen to what this wise man has to say.

  • @davidfarmer2049
    @davidfarmer2049 6 лет назад +3

    5:50
    This so takes me back to play acting my dad did with me to instill in me just what Jordan's saying.
    Clever people can get away with a few lies but I never could.

  • @viol8r007
    @viol8r007 6 лет назад +2

    wow i learnt this as a teenager , no matter who it hurts no matter how much trouble you will get int Never lie . Its so easy .yet i only know 5 people after 48 years who are the same as me .

    • @j.jwhitty5861
      @j.jwhitty5861 6 лет назад

      Is Judas Iscariot one of ye because that guy would never lie especially if there was some money in it for him ;)

  • @robertedgemon8096
    @robertedgemon8096 2 года назад

    This is the lecture that should be mandatory for all employers.

  • @Unfunny_Username_389
    @Unfunny_Username_389 5 лет назад +8

    Although I strive to be honest (and place a high value on honesty, and regard it as virtuous), I want to say that - at some deep level or other - it's impossible to be truthful to either ourselves or others.

    • @logancasner8467
      @logancasner8467 5 лет назад

      Perception is reality
      "You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals..."

  • @toddshirley
    @toddshirley 5 лет назад +1

    That's awesome man. 20k is a good chunk. I just got to get my foot further in the door to make bigger moves. That's also a good idea tho. I'm just glad I'm out of cooking now I can set bigger plans. But their is allot of opportunity to grow in this company. Glad ur doing good an I'm thankful that I have your support Todd. I couldn't of done it without you talking seance into me.

  • @kristinerivera6637
    @kristinerivera6637 2 года назад +3

    REMEMBER LIARS AND THIEFS ARE SIBLINGS. IF YOU STEAL YOU LIE TOO, and vice versa.

  • @zzxsde5252
    @zzxsde5252 7 лет назад +1

    I can't thank you enough for condensing these lectures!

  • @thecousinbellic
    @thecousinbellic 6 лет назад +24

    You can't be honest and insecure at the same time. Anyone who has codependent tendencies will become a liar at some point.