Breakup Despair: Psychologist On Why Panic & Hopelessness Take Over & How To Find Your Footing

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  • Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025

Комментарии • 44

  • @Mia1827
    @Mia1827 18 часов назад +70

    Great video It was a month ago when my five-year romantic life ended. I'm deeply affected by the decision to end a relationship with the person I love. I have tried everything to win him back, even if it has been in vain, and I can't picture my life without him. I've done my best to avoid thinking about him, yet I still find myself missing him and thinking about him frequently. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.

    • @Nancy2551-g6i
      @Nancy2551-g6i 18 часов назад

      Since my 12-year relationship ended, I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you love.
      But I couldn't just let him go, so l did everything i could to win him back. I finally went to a spiritual counsellor for guidance, and he helped me win back his love.

    • @Mia1827
      @Mia1827 18 часов назад

      It's fascinating! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor and how can I get in touch with one most effectively?

    • @Nancy2551-g6i
      @Nancy2551-g6i 18 часов назад

      Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.

    • @Nancy2551-g6i
      @Nancy2551-g6i 18 часов назад

      He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers and he's the best spell caster to ever live

    • @Mia1827
      @Mia1827 18 часов назад

      Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.

  • @santiagogutierrez8139
    @santiagogutierrez8139 2 дня назад +6

    Thank you very much. Ironically I was the one who broke up and still I'm grieving seven months later. But I've been learning about myself like I never did before.
    This stressful reaction from my brain can be, indeed, redirected to start acting and becoming a better man.

    • @jkhavaran
      @jkhavaran 2 дня назад +2

      Your story sounds like mine… I broke it off about 7 months ago, and with the clarity I have now, I realized it was my avoidant instincts coming into play that made me doubt things… I’m filled with regret at the moment but I know it will lead to growth and maybe I needed this pain to stop the pattern.

    • @santiagogutierrez8139
      @santiagogutierrez8139 2 дня назад +1

      ​@@jkhavaranjust the same for me. An avoidant attachment style, maybe disorganized. If it was not for all the "what did I do wrong" regrets, I wouldn't be working so hard on myself to not repeat the same mistakes. This breakup was the biggest lesson of my life.

    • @jkhavaran
      @jkhavaran 2 дня назад

      @ mine too. I’m trying to find the silver lining. Like maybe I needed to learn a lesson this severe for me to really change. I just wish I didn’t have to learn it with her. Good job being self reflective and willing to change, my friend. I think sometimes deep change involve a lot of pain. Let’s make a promise to do the work so we don’t repeat it.

    • @santiagogutierrez8139
      @santiagogutierrez8139 17 часов назад +1

      @@jkhavaran yes, let's promise to do the work so we don't repeat it.

    • @pleakley2173
      @pleakley2173 9 часов назад +1

      your situation is so similar to mine. I broke it off with my lying and abusive ex seven months ago, yet I’m still hurting from it. For months, I suppressed the feelings I felt because I felt that I shouldn’t cry over someone who did me wrong but since the breakup, I’ve felt this feeling of dread and anxiety and just now am I finally facing it.

  • @anxious_robot
    @anxious_robot 2 дня назад +6

    I literally just went through this. I did the breaking up, but it doesn't make it easier. The best thing to do is lead a great life. Great might look different than before, but it will probably be more rewarding because things didn't work in the prior relationship for a reason.

    • @tia-szn
      @tia-szn 2 дня назад +2

      hey, that makes the two of us! my "found family" started acting like my real one, but it took me a lot longer than it should have to leave haha. been 2 months, and i've contacted them thrice since (counting day before). but my conviction in this decision increases whenever i contact them haha. a very weird way, but i realise there is no way this will ever work out in my favour.

    • @WukongSpirit
      @WukongSpirit 2 дня назад +1

      ⁠​⁠@@tia-szn3 of us unfortunately, it’s been about 4 months since I cut them off and I’ve reach out to them twice 3 months in. I knew it was best for both of us because after 3 years, it was clear they had no intention to work on themselves. I miss them so much, because I still believed in us but they didn’t, and because of that it’s been a roller coaster of emotions, but I know it’s necessary to move on. It’s going to suck, you give so much of yourself but there is only so much until you don’t know who you are anymore. It’s hard to see now but it’ll be okay in the end

    • @georgiabessie
      @georgiabessie 2 дня назад +2

      I’ve always thought that the dumper feels nothing but relief. Seems so easy to walk away.
      I’m broken from my breakup. This video helped.

    • @anxious_robot
      @anxious_robot 2 дня назад +1

      @ I let her go for both of us, so it was hard.

  • @arianacuriel6827
    @arianacuriel6827 2 дня назад +3

    Im going through a break up, it’s been 6 months. I find your videos soothing! ❤

  • @jojoojo8768
    @jojoojo8768 День назад +1

    I could have never imagined the feelings this heartbreak makes me feel; but this is a spark in the darkness- thank you

  • @whatsupdanger10
    @whatsupdanger10 2 дня назад +2

    The way you speak, hearing you makes me feel calm. Thanks ✨

  • @ReptileLover-qv8vf
    @ReptileLover-qv8vf День назад

    Thank you, Maika - you are so helpful. 💝I appreciate the reminder that this is a temporary state and that things will get better, even though it's hard to imagine at the moment. Right now, I'm just getting through each day by telling myself that my only job is to keep living and taking care of me, my pets, and my clients (I'm a therapist). Anything else is a bonus (going to gym, eating healthfully, getting together with friends, etc.), but I've been pretty good about these things too without pressuring myself too much :)

  • @flooatt
    @flooatt День назад +2

    Reaching towards 1 year of breakup. He is engaged to a new girl 6 months back. Its still aching like the 1st day of breakup. I don't known i can survive or not. The thing that hurt the most is the relationship was on ease mood and suddenly he got suffocated. He was an FA . I feel like i done everything fair and made my effort maximum to go the relationship in a better form, even then i got hurt only during the relationship and after the breakup. 2021 to 2025 am in ache.

    • @masouddayaghi5923
      @masouddayaghi5923 14 часов назад

      Sorry to hear that, being through it since three months ago, I know very good how terrible painful is this rethinking of what I did wrong, as my Pyschiatrist tells me always, no one knows why? It just finished like all other things in life that have a life time, we should control the mind not to stuck us and it is not easy, lots of work.

  • @sergiovalenti7255
    @sergiovalenti7255 2 дня назад +2

    I’m new here, absolutely love the content. It’s helping me, I just need to continuously apply it. I keep running back to my flawed thinking process. I guess I’m doing that because it’s familiar.

  • @DavidReyesU
    @DavidReyesU День назад

    4 months after the breakup I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety when I dream of her. It feels like a part of me has died. Especially since she is dating someone new. I’m doing everything in my power to move forward. Some days are so hard.

  • @bettylane1984
    @bettylane1984 2 дня назад +1

    Thank you!

  • @mrijk1946
    @mrijk1946 18 часов назад

    Its been 2 months now. My hope and lust for life was vested on the relationship. Now that its over, its just been a deep deep pit.

  • @dmitrykoveshnikov
    @dmitrykoveshnikov 2 дня назад +1

    Thank you for the video... It has been uploaded just at the right time for me

  • @jkhavaran
    @jkhavaran 2 дня назад +1

    Thank you, Dr. Steinborn. I needed this today. Your videos have been incredibly helpful for me lately. I’m really sad but I’m learning from my mistakes and I think a lot of growth will come from what I’m experiencing. Thanks for helping me to understand myself.

  • @philc494
    @philc494 День назад

    Your videos are so helpful. Thank you.
    I'm 2 months into a breakup, trying to give myself time for self-care and grieving, but I've started to wake up at 2am every single day for the last three weeks, often from either blissful dreams or nightmares. It sounds like this might also be autonomic (unconscious), so hopefully connecting more with my secure center will help. Otherwise, would love to learn more from you in a possible future video about this 😁

  • @Elle.G.
    @Elle.G. 2 дня назад +1

    Thank you so much, Dr. Steinborn. Would you consider making a video on how to recover from a sudden job loss, please? The company just laid a lot of people off, and as one of the people affected, I am still going through such intense emotions similar to a romantic break up! It’s all the sadness, loss of control, fear, embarrassment - is there anything you might be able to recommend to come out of it better? Thank you so much, I’ve been watching your videos for years, you are so awesome - but this is the first time commenting. Thank you! ❤

    • @DrMaikaSteinborn
      @DrMaikaSteinborn  День назад +1

      Hi 🙋‍♀️ I‘ll write down your request- but I can’t promise anything (I get so many requests)… A sudden job loss is definitely a painful experience that brings up a lot of emotions! I’ll keep thinking about it! All the best to you 🌱

    • @Elle.G.
      @Elle.G. День назад

      @ thank you so much! ❤️

  • @Justen31
    @Justen31 2 дня назад +1

    💯 it's always hard losing someone
    💎compassionately you love .
    💧like you say start with small steps.

  • @bettylane1984
    @bettylane1984 2 дня назад +1

    My cortisol levels must be thru the roof!

    • @Derek-z6u
      @Derek-z6u 2 дня назад

      I can feel my blood pressure rise....

  • @masouddayaghi5923
    @masouddayaghi5923 14 часов назад

    Dear Maika,
    how can I have private consultation with you?
    Best Regards,

  • @Cleversunny135
    @Cleversunny135 2 дня назад +1

    I guess you meant "accept" instead of except. Best wishes

    • @DrMaikaSteinborn
      @DrMaikaSteinborn  2 дня назад +8

      Thanks! I do mean except… “when nothing seems real except the pain”…

    • @sanjeevgig8918
      @sanjeevgig8918 2 дня назад +1

      @@DrMaikaSteinborn You have to "accept the pain" as a short-term life event and move forward with small steps.