I can’t even tell you, how many times I’ve panic logged onto RUclips and listened to your channel & by the time I’ve watched your videos, I feel instant calm and relief. Thank you for being who you are. Not all of us can afford therapy or are too nervous to try it, but your videos have truly helped me.
True.. but now and then we do need kind and hopeful words from a friend, at least I know I do :) She is amazing and when her instructions are followed perfectly, perhaps this little bit of distraction wouldn't be needed at all, but then we are all humans, to a lot of her viewers Emma is like the amazing friend they never had 😊@@Documentts
Thats a great way ti break the thought pattern when nothing else works. Why they dont teach coping skills in kindergarden along with ABC 's makes no sense to me.
4:19 “Your brain subconsciously believes that worrying prevented bad things from happening.” I’ve been trying to overcome this exact false belief ever since I realized it was something I felt. The idea of letting go of certain worries scares me because then if the bad thing happens, I’m unprepared and unable to prevent it. It’s validating to know that this isn’t just me.
Lol my brain has subconsciously believed worrying prevents bad things from happening so much, I now CONSCIOUSLY worry to prevent bad things from happening! It’s a hard line for me to both be proactive and alert, but not to overthink or worry. You have to ride that line in the middle, and I wobble between the two very much.
This exactly. I know I am worrying in vain and overreacting and overthinking sometimes but when I consciously try to stop it and something bad happens and that bad thing mostly definitely does happen I feel guilty like why didn’t I worry so as not to make that thing happen like I was not prepared enough. I have started feeling like if I worry enough that bad thing doesn’t happen and I myself am exhausting myself and fueling my anxiety 😭😭😭
@@JadeOvO I like to think the opposite: Why wasting energy and time to worry about something I don't know if it ever happens or not. If it happens, I trust that I can cope with the life skills I have (even though it might be really really hard and difficult). I think it's important to understand that it is good to think things through to be prepared, but that's not worrying, that's just thinking things through, but that's as much as you can do. I know this is easier said than done, but I very much hope that you will find a way to let go of the belief "If I worry, xy won't happen" or "If I don't worry, for sure xy will happen" (because that's what it is, a belief, not truth) and that you will find a way to let go of the over-worrying. 🙏🙏🙏
I've struggled SO much with this. One time I didn't do the things and something bad did happen (absolutely outside my control) and my brain has continued to use that as leverage.
@@kimchareonbood Thank you so much🙏. But yeah I just realized after this video that this kind of thinking was a symptom of anxiety and catastrophic thinking. It’s really hard for me to think positive sometimes especially when nothing positive is happening and being disappointed every time you think positive is harder and energy draining. I realize that this is still somehow my anxious self trying to be in control of the situation and giving me grief in return. I am trying to let the situation be but still it is really hard you know.
I learned the "worry time" habit 40 years ago in Sexual Abuse Group Therapy. I chose 5pm to 5:05pm. Eventually, worrying became detached from emotion, got bored and went away. I still set the time aside, but I found I can take the emotion out of any new worry and figure out what to do about it. It's one of the best life skill to have. When people say that nothing phases me, I say, "Only from 5 to 5:05."
I’ve had anxiety, the debilitating kind. I learned that labeling it generalized anxiety disorder was very counterproductive. Made me feel like I had a life sentence and I was permanently broken without any cure. Therapy, meds didn’t help because I identified as an anxious person. I ended up using the acceptance method and I gave my mind and body the time to recover. Eventually my intensity gradually decreased till I felt like myself again.
@@mushaffainamdar5630 I have been doing this too and it has been decreasing, I am looking forward till I am fully recovered. We can also look at "acceptance" as non-resistance. Thank you for sharing! 💗
Seriously THIS! It’s a miserable way to live to be constantly worried about everything, uncertainty, the future, anxiety, etc. I always tell myself I want my New Year’s resolution to be for me to be “more chill” and not take life too seriously. I am envious of people that can remain relaxed and not let little things get to them.
@@kerigirl711 Today when it started, I jumped into the shower and made sure the water was cold. It helped....I’m currently using distraction techniques. When the brain says, hey let’s do some worrying....we do something else that is extremely distracting that takes the worry off the battle front as the main objective; till it becomes less of an importance till it fades in the background. It’s painful dealing with this thing daily but I hope we can all overcome. My brain was like: oh dear, you’re cold we need to get you warm and go back to worrying later maybe....lol.
My therapist was great. She explained that worry is trying to solve hypothetical problems with hypothetical variables. This can be exhausting!! She said if the variables are real and now, then go ahead and solve the problem. But if the variables are hypothetical, don't attempt to solve the problem! I've been attempting to solve hypothetical problems for years and years and burned myself out! It's hard to stop this but she has given me some helpful strategies which I have to keep practising so I become better at not worrying.
Going through a huge anxiety attack attack a week ago. I’ve barely slept. Thats what I worry about. Sleeping again. But this is teaching me to try to let go of that. After falling asleep nearly 30seconds after my brain would shoot awake. Hopefully with good sleep hygiene and schedule I can get my sleeping on track.
I am so sorry, I also experienced this a lot. My dr took me off trazodone which was not working and replaced it with doxepin (an insomnia med) and things are much better. I really hope it improves for you soon
The key here is to let it go and acceptance. I had the same issue many times, passing the whole night awake having anxiety attacks, and after that, every night I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep. It's a trauma response. Things started improving when I realized I had to let it go and I told myself that it does not matter, I would go to sleep if I didn't sleep it's fine, I would just go back to my yoga mat or something and sit with the feeling, or do something I loved with that time. You can meditate, journal or just do nothing (just don't be on your phone or watching tv). Eventually I felt calm or more tired and went back to sleep to try again but no pressure. Slowly I worried less and I was able to sleep again. It just takes time.
The only thing you have to do when you’re having an anxiety attack is, (English is not my first language) let it be, let the anxiety be there. Don’t fight it, just let it be. You will be over it in no time. The brain thinks it’s in danger that’s why you’re having an attack, but is not. What is the worst that can happen if you don’t fight it? Go sit down or li down, try to breath slow and from your stomach, and just let it be. The moment you stop being scared for the attacks is the moment they will stop. There is nothing that is going to happen to you. You’re not crazy, you’re not going to die, all the scary things you’re thinking is not going to happen.
@@allanrocha4647 Same story, I have started reading books when I don't get sleep due to anxiety and I feel a lot better& sleep for a few hours. Try this out.
You are one of those rare, rare individuals who actually care about people and do this to help. You really are a role model. Smart, ethical, creative, natural, unique, calming, rational but empathetic. Congrats! ❤🎉
Yes, I've noticed this. When I don't worry for a moment, my brain will bring up things to worry about. I actually have urgent problems to worry about, believe me. But the anxiety keeps me from actually solving those problems because I'm afraid to face them. My brain thinks that I'll forget about them if I don't constantly worry and feel on edge, so in the end I stay in the anxiety all the time.
This is awesome. I’m worrying majority of the day, EVERYDAY, and I can’t seem to shut my brain off. It even wakes me up out my sleep to worry about stuff. I’m at my wits end 😩😩😩
I remember worrying all the time since I was very young in elementary school. I worried about getting in the wrong school bus line, missing the bus, getting on the wrong bus, missing my stop, not getting a seat, having to sit in the back, missing school, forgetting homework, losing my younger siblings, and the worries have grown the older I've gotten. I worry over things I have no control over and worry that maybe I should have control over them. It's so stressful~ I hope that these techniques can help me cope with being such a longtime worrywart.
Yep it has gotten worse for me over the years for some strange reason that I cannot figure out BUT I am working with a therapist to maybe find out steps to ease the pain of it. Worth the weight in solid GOLD.
You can get better, practice diffusion. My daughter developed anxiety and worry after a traumatic childhood, totally debilitated by the time she was 21. She thought she had to worry, that she was controlling things. She ruminated endlessly. She went through treatment much like what Emma shared. She applied herself and worked hard, because she wanted to live (she had gotten hopeless and isolated.) Within 4 months she was functional again! Over the last 3 years she got married and is now pregnant. Things she thought would never be able to accomplish!
I spent so many years of my life under the spell of cigarettes, anxiety and severe ptsd. Gained my freedom with the help of nature using mushroom (psilocybin) precisely. After my experience with shrooms five years ago every cigarette I lit up tasted like literal poison. I would take one hit and put out the cigarette. I haven't smoked since, no more anxiety mood and ptsd. Few doses of shroom experience made a 15 year 2 pack a day smoker quit instantly. Shrooms are life changing. There is no way you can put into words what it feels like..
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Shrooms can really help break the spell. Whatever spell you may be under.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
Im from Malaysia & ive been battling anxiety / depression for the past few months. This is a very2 good technique. Im gonna try it tomorrow. Thank you very much for sharing this tips. It really helps to calm me down. I also seek professional help but cant afford it all the times. Thank you again🙏🏼 God bless your beautiful soull To those who read this: Battling depression & anxiety is a marathon, not a sprint. We got this champ. Stay strong ❤
For some of us, someone very early in our lives taught us that when bad things happen, it was our fault. “You weren’t careful, you didn’t think things through, you trusted the wrong people, you didn’t listen, etc etc.” And these things were reinforced with shame and/or punishment. Trauma cycling on trauma. It’s valuable to work on this with a therapist too. Much peace to all. ✌️😌✨
I worry constantly. I feel tense and that my heart rate is elevated completely outside any context except the drama theater going on in my head. I can tell this is going to take practice, but I like the idea that I can exert some control over worrying and that that is probably going to help with anxiety. great info.
@ceooflonelinessinc.267 Those things are really hard. I don't know. I started meditating 20 minutes daily and have been doing it for a couple of months now, and it seems to help with a lot of things. I absolutely recommend it.
Hi, extremely useful tip for chronic anxiety. I have my personal experience to share. When I suddenly lost my 19 yr old Nithin to a bike accident, I read about this type of scheduled grief meditation ,where i chose a closed room ,sat in a corner ,totally immersed in the way the I saw my son in the mortuary, assumed the accident scenario, imagined his last few hours with friends etc . Was drenched with torrential tears ,but took off to the present moment in 5 to 10 min. I did this 4 times a day for 15 days,then gradually reduced to 2 times a day. After a month, i started journalling regularly. I m so glad n feel proud for my healthy coping and now using the same stragegy for kindred grievers. Yes..i totally agree with you. Thank u for the nice video.
You should be so proud of yourself, you are so brave. I have lost my daughter in 2011, but still have not had courage to do what you did, well done for coping❤
Worrying is one of the biggest challenges in my life, boy it takes so much energy, I'm always tired when I'm in that state, thank you very much for this video
I found out later in life that I had General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). When the doctor told me, I was actually relieved...because for much of my life I was blaming my self for worrying too much. I was on a mission then to become less anxious. Went to therapy, learned about boundaries...the hardest part was overcoming the anger I was having toward my family for putting me through experiences and environments that conditioned me for anxiety. "Don't worry. Take it easy"...looking back, I couldn't believe they said this while at the same time doing...well, I won't go there. Any way, therapy and things like mindfulness and self discovery have helped, but i take steps back at times unfortunately, the books 30 Days to Reduce Stress by Harper Daniels, Awareness by DeMello, and The Body Keeps the Score by Kolk...I like those. Journaling has also been a life saver when I get the motivation to do it.
Yeah any calm I feel in just a day, my brain can't handle a full good day of everything being ok. No this brain of mine won't allow that so my brain goes to work against me at some point and gives me things to be disturbed or worried about and back to square 1 again. I've been listening to anxiety hypnosis videos on here by a guy called Andrew Major. He's very good sometimes they send me off to sleep lol.
For a long time, I thought distraction would help me with my worrying. But I only worried more. And I had multiple mental breakdowns. This video helped me realise that distraction will never help. So, thank you!
It's so terribly difficult to explain to people how our brain often subconsciously believes worrying helps prevent disasters. I've had someone tell me it's impossible considering our brains are best designed to support us in a healthy way and they cannot miscalculate something that can have debilitating effects on our lives. It's extremely difficult to explain to people who agree that our brains are primarily equipped for survival but are unable to grasp this toxic loop that our brains end up engaging in for our survival that worrying prevents negative events from happening. Thank you for articulating this!
When I first started getting help for anxiety, I noticed 3 things. There was an involuntary/physical aspect, things in my past that contributed to it, and a habit that formed over time. When the involuntary part was helped by medication, I was able to see the habit and some underlying causes for the first time. It was like getting prescription glasses to see my anxiety! I also noticed when the involuntary anxiousness popped up, I'd find any justification for it. One time I blamed not making a sandwich fast enough for it and realized wow, I'd find any reasoning for the anxiousness! Eventually I learned to sit with the feeling which was extremely uncomfortable and to not reach for a reason. It broke the cycle of feeling anxious - justifying it, feeling anxious - justifying it again. I just wanted to say to anyone that needs to hear it, because it's overwhelming to deal with all aspects of anxiety at once. If you can give yourself some grace, take it one part at a time, you can make some big changes.
It has been 3 days of me doing this and it has already helped. In fact, when it comes to worry time, I get bored of worrying and have to make myself worry. It just shows how meaningless the worrying thought is, especially because as I’m willingly worrying, I can hear another voice in my head saying “You have no control over that, so let it go”, or “You can walk away from this thing if you want”, or “You’re not actually worried about that” I can’t wait to see how it progresses 3 weeks from now :) Thank you for this awesome exercise.
I love that you shared the story about worrying God may send trials to you when life seems to peaceful. I've been so blessed in my life that I worry about the disparity. I see the trials that other people face and think it's not fair that they have to go through that when I don't. This of course snowballs into thinking that if we all face trials in this life then its only a matter of time before i have to face the same thing everyone else in the world does. I essentially put a ticking clock on every happy aspect of my life and i just sit an wait until the people and things that I love are taken away from me.
Aww me too 🧡You’re not alone. No one necessarily deserves the bad things life throws their way. But also you deserve to be happy and enjoy your happy life. Just because bad things happen it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happy things happening to you. None of us can or should predict the future. It’s hard to just be happy and present but we can do it! I hope you can enjoy more moments without anxiety getting in the way!!
this has been me every day for the last couple weeks. it has gotten out of control to where the worry is debilitating. have you gotten any treatment? i can’t live like this forever.
Managing/critiquing worry and anxiety has definitely been useful. I even noticed myself that I may be addicted to anxiety rather than actually suffering from what I thought was causing it. I was worrying about big things, thinking all that time was useful, but then I'd suffer similar anxiety over much less meaningful stuff, making me realize that I just like to worry. But the part about worrying about not worrying really spoke to me. It's an odd feeling, kind of like the feeling of not studying for an exam. You think you should be ready for a problem at any moment, then you have moments of peace and non-awareness, before a feeling of dread comes on that you took your eye off the ball and things will go wrong because you let your concentration slip. It's a vicious cycle.
Worried,, it's always gonna be there ,,,ya have to evaluate an apply , ,, it's easier said then done ,ya have to control the Worried,,do not let Worried control you ,,,Emma is God sent !!
Thank you. As a single-father of two since 2005, over the years slowly i found myself becoming more of a worrisome father, than the "go-to guy" father. This past year I've been doing my best to work through and replace that bad-habit that has snuck up on me. My 23 year young son has no problem scolding me when i "get like that"...and i have no qualms about backing off. I take full responsibility. So again, thank you. Very insightful. Peace! ✌
I feel like this really deserves a comment. I have been doing this for one full week. What's really neat is, I have had one really pressing matter come up during this week where I worried and worried about it. I wrote down all the ways it could go wrong. It turned out the thing I was worried about was totally without merit. I've also had the ability to stop and say "this thing is irrational to worry about" and just move on from it. 7 days in and I'm starting to have trouble filling the whole 15 minute block with worries. I end up saying "oh I already worried about that and have nothing new to add. I can let that one go." I don't know if I can hold myself to stick to the habit, but the experience has certainly been interesting.
I've never been to any therapists, and I was once thought of putting a certain time of the day to worry, get frustrated or feel 'negative' emotions on schedule. This video reinforced what I thought of. Thanks! ❤
I have PTSD and when you said chronic worrying and chronic stress identified with that immediately as one of my symptoms thank you very much for what you do
My problem is events often support my worries. We went to Bahamas recently and we were considering taking a ride on sight-seeing boat, but I said better not, something bad could happen. A week latter, the boat sank and put 75 people into the sea and one died. Being right about one's worries just brings more worries.
True. But when you were considering - on that day - it didn't happen. So technically speaking you were not right about your worry on that day. If you would have taken that ride on that day, nothing would have happened. I was in Bali eating in a restaurant that was bombed two weeks later. I was in Barcelona walking on the famous and busy La Ramblas Street when only four days later there was a guy driving into the people on that same street killing many people. I was walking on the sidewalk in my village when a car's two tyres burst, driving onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street and scratching along a wall exactly in the spot where I usually stop to cross the street when I come back from the lake. Now, if I would worry about all that, I would think: I can't go to Bali anymore because I might get into a bombing, same with the incident in Barcelona (maybe leading to believing that it's better to not travel at all). Or I would not go to that street anymore because next time, a car will maybe come crashing into me right at the time when I'm walking there. Better not walk on walkways ever again. Am just telling you these stories to tell you: Yes, you are right, events do support worry (happens to me too, and there were times where I would avoid going to concerts because of the fear of bombings; or there was a time I was really scared of driving a car - I drive now and still feel uncomfortable driving, and I actively have to work through worry thoughts of "I will might crash into a tree, or, oh my gosh, if there is no parking or a difficult parking situation, I'll be screwed...), but on the other side, we also have to be realistic about how often these things really happen? How often are we really screwed? And that is what I am telling myself: The risk is relatively low if I apply common sense (for example not going on a sightseeing boat that looks like it will break apart any soon) and that if something bad happens, it was really bad luck. And that I better focus on what is important to focus on in the present moment.
No you were wrong because the boat did not sink that day. You could say the same thing about cars and see a crash and say I knew it, driving is not safe.
@@ComplicatedSimplicite No, you are wrong. I could see the boat in person and the sketchy people running the operation. And I don't know much about boats, but I do know how far I can swim in open seas is not great.
Loved this video! It helped me so much. I started doing the exercise today, but I found an interesting way to make it even better (at least for me). I sort of combined it with the exercise for regrets you give in one of your videos. So this is what I do: I set a time for worrying, I start writing down everything I am worrying about at the moment, I do this for 25 minutes, and at the end, I read them again and make a little box. On one side I write my REAL worries, for example: if i’m worrying about failing my exam for not studying enough because I struggle with discipline and organization etc, I know my real worry there, is not giving the best of me, so I write that down. And on the other side of the box, I write the VALUE behind that worry. In this case the value is hard-work and determination, and always trying to give my best! So I do that with everything, and I end up understanding myself so much more, and giving me compassion when I feel that again. And I choose to focus on the value behind all those worries, and start working from there! I put my energy in giving my best, in trying, and in working hard for what I want, instead of putting my energy in the fear of failing that exam!😂 and that helps so much more! I hope this helps someone too🩷
As someone with ptsd from childhood experiences and have fear of all people that someone is also out to hurt me this helped me because now I realize it's just me worrying.
Like most things if you don't give any food or attention it wil give up and die . That's what I had to realize , that I was subconsciously worrying .. really about things I couldn't change anyhow , and that was feeding the stress and anxiety , I didn't even know I was doing it , and that was a total waste of quality time , so getting to the root is gold ,
This makes so much sense. I just found your channel. About 10 years ago, in my early 20’s, I had that “don’t give a shit attitude “. I never once had a panic attack or felt anxious for that period of time. It’s gotten worse the last few years. And even before my early 20’s, I was worrying constantly. But for that period of time. It was pure bliss. Thanks you for these videos.
I love this idea of scheduled worrying. I always have worry thoughts before bed and it keeps me awake at night. I often will grab my phone to type down those thoughts so I don’t forget that I have to worry about them and find am answer. If I take the time during the day to do this exercise, I know it’s written down and I won’t forget so maybe I can relax at night and take my peace back. I’m going to get a notebook and call it my worry journal, it’s official! Thank you!!!
I worry so much about my teen son who has struggled with mental health for the past 5yrs. Thru therapy , we are trying as a family to heal and vice fwd. But when he shows a pattern of unhealthy behavior , it takes me back to the worst period we had . My anxiety soars as I am left powerless to help
You are not alone, I experience the same anxieties. We don’t go to therapy and my son is physically unable to speak to us…it’s now long term situation and I feel helpless. We’ve had traumatic situations that we’ve moved on from but I still have the high alert button on constantly. Keep hoping and loving x
@@krs1597 I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing similar. If there is any possible way to seek therapy for your son or family( even online options) it would make a difference . Praying for you and your son
It would be nice to see more videos about , neuroplasticity, how to reprogram your brain in order to feel safe when you feel anxious, also in upcoming situations like when you go outside, thanks emma❤
I don't know if that would even be possible considering the anxiety response is biologically meant to protect us from danger so I highly doubt we can feel safe when we're anxious.
I'm a college student and lately I have so many worries about life, studies etc. I've had GAD since high school but got over it the last years so now that it came back I have completely forgot how to deal with the constant anxious thoughts... the worst thing is when every little thing trigers your worrying and you feel like you cant live a normal life. Your video was very helpful and I will follow tour advice!
Thank you so, so much for the work you do. What to do to help with [enter problem here] is oftentimes way less important than why to do it. Nobody, and I mean nobody will do this practice for 3 weeks without knowing exactly WHY to do it. And this is in 99% of cases in therapy. Patient talks, therapist listens but do not educate why things are how they are. Most of that time ends eventually being time wasted. This video shows the way to do it. In twelve minutes you have informed me more than 6 years in therapy.
This method works for me to suppress the anxiety. The falconers keep their Raptors hooded, meaning they cover the bird's eyes with a leather blind when the bird is not flying. That's supposed to keep the bird calm and relaxed. So, I simply close my eyes whenever I can. For example if I get thirsty, I close my eyes and walk to kitchen and drink water and go back to my seat, all with eyes closed. Same thing when I am eating, taking a bath, etc. It works for me.
I literally just typed in how to manage worrying and stress and i found this video and a few others from you. I immediately felt a sense of calming and i feel excited about training my mind to worry when it’s time to worry. Thank God i came across your content. 🙏🏽
I mostly worry about losing my children (now adults) or my spouse. That’s the one thing I just don’t how in the world I could handle. I know they worrying about it won’t change the outcome! 😣
I was always a worrier, but 2 big tragedies happened to me when I was 17 /18 year old then when I was 27 another one, so that set me up to worry the rest of my life even more.
This video does make sense to me. Now I get it why I worry less last Sunday because I took time to worry about the things I need to do the day before. The day I’m typing this comment is Monday and this day I had a really rough day. I missed to prepare something for work earlier which gave me the stress and worry about it too much. Even when I arrive home, I kept thinking of what happened. Now that I saw this video, I realize how important it is to set boundaries and time for certain tasks. As a teacher, it is really hard to manage my worries. Thank you for posting this video. How I wish I saw this earlier since it is 10pm now. You gave me a sense of relief knowing that you’re a professional.
This video helped so much and now i treat my anxiety like a little toddler 😂 when kids bring you something you're not interested in or need, for example a pebble ignoring them or telling them no thank you doesn't work, you gotta do the whole "oh my goodness thank you so much for bringing me this" and they will leave happily and continue doing what they're doing. I now have started treating my thoughts the same way, "Oh wow thank you for bringing this up, we can talk more about it at 3pm how about that". I was ignoring my anxiety and trying to swat it away and do something to distract my brain but that just made it more persistent in wanting to show me the pebble 😂
Usually my ADHD symptoms don't allow me to watch ANY 'interesting video' for it's time span and I end up adding it to my 'watch latter's playlist. But your video was like mindful lecture that I enjoyed for 13:50 minutes. Thank you.
Listening to music blocks worrying Music 🎶 has and continues to make me happy I sang and listened to music 🎼 since I was 3 Music saved my life Music produces good chemicals in our brains
Hey Emma how about do a video that will help me but all of us about the worry thoughts about the Israel war and worried what it may bring in the future because I want to find some closer and clarity in this ❤
Distraction 11:18 using distraction has led me totally destroy my life. I lost my prime time 20-30 by gluing myself to social media , porn , video games , etc etc. Made me addicted to screen, porn etc. I should have dared enough to address them then n there itself but i am glad to be here knowing what to do at right time.
Hi Emma, can you please do a series on ocd. You have a great, clear way of explaining things which I think would be helpful for people struggling with this commonly misunderstood anxiety disorder
OMG! Every single word you say in this and your other videos is like describing me and my thoughts. Crazy! It’s like therapy just listening to you cuz u know how we feel and u r compassionate about it. I do feel blessed that I found this channel on RUclips. Life saver!
I feel so seen right now. I often times find myself worrying for not worrying hard enough because I literally think I will get hit by the worst for not worrying.. I‘ll work on it!
Ohmigosh, I’m so glad I found you. I’ve been a life time worrier. In fact I had a friend who never worried, so I thought I had to worry for her. She called me her DW (designated worrier)! Thanks for all your advice and help!
To stop worrying as I tried to fall asleep, I learned to start thinking random words. I usually go within a category, such as random numbers, types of animals, etc. This has been very helpful because it gives me an alternate focus. I don't remember where I learned this trick, but I have been successfully using it for months.
This is my first time watching this video but definitely not my first time watching a video on regulating my anxiety and worries. I've been living in a constant state of anxiety ever since covid; some months I've been completely fine but I find that it ends up coming back to me sooner or later. I've found that mindfulness and literally writing everything I feel down helps so much because it makes me realize how insignificant my worries and overthinking are in actually fixing the issue that I am worried about. I know it sounds super obvious but I feel like I haven't internalized it yet. I'm gonna try the scheduled worry and let you know how it goes! This is the most helpful video I have found so far that addresses anxiety so thank you so so much!
I love this, I am currently on medication for anxiety but I am looking into more natural ways and this seems to be a good video to start with :) you have a great way with explaining things for me to understand. Your videos are very helpful!
In the world of addiction recovery, we call "worry", "living in the wreckage of the future". It can be debilitating! The problem for me was that I lacked any spiritual connection to a power greater than myself. I don't attend church, I'm not a theologian, I don't proclaim to have all the answers, and I'm certainly not without fault. I do know this...even if I start from a place where I don't believe in anything, "Acting As If", allows me to live with much, much less stress! It has served me well on a daily basis for nearly 30 years! All the best...Mark
I recently FINALLY found hope. After the first of the year, I discovered I have ADHD TYPE C, Also have been diagnosed with autism. wow! So now what? Well, thru proper medication, and therapy, my life has changed ! I have understood why I have been struggling MY WHOLE LIFE! And I'm 65 in May! I could have used this knowledge years ago!
Yes, thank you so much for this channel for all the messages that you put out there for all the time and energy that you put into it. I can't tell you you have been a blessing to me and I am just so grateful that you are there. When I do come home stress from work I turn on your videos. I think of your messages in my head and it helps
your videos make me feel so much better about my thoughts process and gives me so many tips to use. i will definitely be setting a worry time in my day, to see how it changes my way of thinking. thank you!
At timestamp 5:00 you just made me realize what's causing my anxiety. I'm a very religious person and I believe in Karma. I think that's what's been causing me anxiety. I went to my favorite bands concert last march 2023 and that was the best night of my life. I was too happy.. After a week my parents got into motorcycle accident. Although they are okay now I think I was traumatized because I'm the one who accompanied them in the emergency room. Same thing happen with my friend went to the same band concert and his father ended up in a motorcycle accident too. But his father was critically injured, he's comatose and still haven't woke up for a few months. Now I feel like I shouldn't be really too much happy because something bad will happen in return of that happiness. But I believe in my God. I know I will overcome this anxiety in the near future. This anxiety is taking a toll in my physical health right now.
I recently turned 40 and it hit like a ton of bricks. Every memory in my life feels like it happened yesterday. Then I start thinking about dates in the future and how distant they are from the memories from dates they happened in the past. Like for example, I was there the day my step-grandpa died in May 1997. I was 12 but it feels like yesterday even though it wasn’t. That memory just popped in my head this week randomly. Then I start thinking that I’m going to be 67 in 27 years since that memory was 27 years ago and that gives me big time panic. Things like that have been going on the last 3 weeks. My brain struggles with distracting. Working through it. Thanks for this video.
Your content is brilliant! Thanks so much. I have so many health worries and fear and have no idea what to do with all of the energy that comes with stress and worry. Worrying is definitely what I do. So going to plan my worry for tomorrow and kinda looking forward to it..... Bring it on Brain! Im up for it!
"Our brain is designed to keep us alive, not to make us happy."" 🙂Good point.
This is a great quote, very true
Yes but doesn't mean you can stop it from. Worrying
@@tommac21 ..but I can question it and say: is it true? 😊
Then people wouldn’t kill themselves. Our brains are not made for this life.
BUT SURVIVAL TRAINS MAKE ME TIRED! Dang Autism and ADHD. Been in the MENTAL TRAIN SHOP FOR TOO LONG!
Don't mind me, I'm just a Unit/Manifest boi.
I can’t even tell you, how many times I’ve panic logged onto RUclips and listened to your channel & by the time I’ve watched your videos, I feel instant calm and relief. Thank you for being who you are. Not all of us can afford therapy or are too nervous to try it, but your videos have truly helped me.
Her voice, face, and message are SO soothing for me. She heals my anxiety in multiple ways.
Thank you so much for everything you do! We love you Emma🫶
That’s not very good. You are seeking reassurance which is part of the problem
11:08 Here you go
True.. but now and then we do need kind and hopeful words from a friend, at least I know I do :) She is amazing and when her instructions are followed perfectly, perhaps this little bit of distraction wouldn't be needed at all, but then we are all humans, to a lot of her viewers Emma is like the amazing friend they never had 😊@@Documentts
Thats a great way ti break the thought pattern when nothing else works. Why they dont teach coping skills in kindergarden along with ABC 's makes no sense to me.
4:19 “Your brain subconsciously believes that worrying prevented bad things from happening.” I’ve been trying to overcome this exact false belief ever since I realized it was something I felt. The idea of letting go of certain worries scares me because then if the bad thing happens, I’m unprepared and unable to prevent it. It’s validating to know that this isn’t just me.
Lol my brain has subconsciously believed worrying prevents bad things from happening so much, I now CONSCIOUSLY worry to prevent bad things from happening! It’s a hard line for me to both be proactive and alert, but not to overthink or worry. You have to ride that line in the middle, and I wobble between the two very much.
This exactly. I know I am worrying in vain and overreacting and overthinking sometimes but when I consciously try to stop it and something bad happens and that bad thing mostly definitely does happen I feel guilty like why didn’t I worry so as not to make that thing happen like I was not prepared enough. I have started feeling like if I worry enough that bad thing doesn’t happen and I myself am exhausting myself and fueling my anxiety 😭😭😭
@@JadeOvO I like to think the opposite: Why wasting energy and time to worry about something I don't know if it ever happens or not. If it happens, I trust that I can cope with the life skills I have (even though it might be really really hard and difficult). I think it's important to understand that it is good to think things through to be prepared, but that's not worrying, that's just thinking things through, but that's as much as you can do. I know this is easier said than done, but I very much hope that you will find a way to let go of the belief "If I worry, xy won't happen" or "If I don't worry, for sure xy will happen" (because that's what it is, a belief, not truth) and that you will find a way to let go of the over-worrying. 🙏🙏🙏
I've struggled SO much with this. One time I didn't do the things and something bad did happen (absolutely outside my control) and my brain has continued to use that as leverage.
@@kimchareonbood Thank you so much🙏. But yeah I just realized after this video that this kind of thinking was a symptom of anxiety and catastrophic thinking. It’s really hard for me to think positive sometimes especially when nothing positive is happening and being disappointed every time you think positive is harder and energy draining. I realize that this is still somehow my anxious self trying to be in control of the situation and giving me grief in return. I am trying to let the situation be but still it is really hard you know.
I learned the "worry time" habit 40 years ago in Sexual Abuse Group Therapy. I chose 5pm to 5:05pm. Eventually, worrying became detached from emotion, got bored and went away. I still set the time aside, but I found I can take the emotion out of any new worry and figure out what to do about it. It's one of the best life skill to have. When people say that nothing phases me, I say, "Only from 5 to 5:05."
Thank you for this, I will try and implement it ❤
Thank you, it's good to know it works.
@@moikmoik1182 Thank you for your interest. Which part would you like info on?
This advice goes against her advice in this video, as she is a distraction.
This comment goes against her advice in this video, as she is a distraction.
I’ve had anxiety, the debilitating kind. I learned that labeling it generalized anxiety disorder was very counterproductive. Made me feel like I had a life sentence and I was permanently broken without any cure. Therapy, meds didn’t help because I identified as an anxious person. I ended up using the acceptance method and I gave my mind and body the time to recover. Eventually my intensity gradually decreased till I felt like myself again.
What do you mean by acceptance method and giving body and mind to recover means what ?
How?
Same with me
@@sneha-qn4jn it means , accepting the fact that I have anxiety and I accept it . And just let it be
@@mushaffainamdar5630 I have been doing this too and it has been decreasing, I am looking forward till I am fully recovered. We can also look at "acceptance" as non-resistance. Thank you for sharing! 💗
Realising I don’t have to react or have an emotional reaction to every single worrying thought I have was the game changer for me.
“Our brain is designed to keep us alive, not make us happy” is so powerful, and not something I’ve consciously realized before.
me too
This got me to stop the video and think about it. Perspective changer!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worried about not worrying 😂
That moment when you get anxiety because you just realised you don't have anxiety that day 🤪
@@xangiexdx😅😢
Seriously THIS! It’s a miserable way to live to be constantly worried about everything, uncertainty, the future, anxiety, etc. I always tell myself I want my New Year’s resolution to be for me to be “more chill” and not take life too seriously. I am envious of people that can remain relaxed and not let little things get to them.
@@kerigirl711 Today when it started, I jumped into the shower and made sure the water was cold. It helped....I’m currently using distraction techniques. When the brain says, hey let’s do some worrying....we do something else that is extremely distracting that takes the worry off the battle front as the main objective; till it becomes less of an importance till it fades in the background. It’s painful dealing with this thing daily but I hope we can all overcome. My brain was like: oh dear, you’re cold we need to get you warm and go back to worrying later maybe....lol.
@@kerigirl711their called pot heads or drug addicts. Ie, they don’t care about their lives or their actions.. let’s not get that far gone, ok? 😅 lol
My therapist was great.
She explained that worry is trying to solve hypothetical problems with hypothetical variables. This can be exhausting!! She said if the variables are real and now, then go ahead and solve the problem. But if the variables are hypothetical, don't attempt to solve the problem!
I've been attempting to solve hypothetical problems for years and years and burned myself out! It's hard to stop this but she has given me some helpful strategies which I have to keep practising so I become better at not worrying.
can you share with us please
Are you gujarati ?
Can u pls share your therapist name?
@@jakiashibli2225 I'm unable to share her name but she was a CBT therapist. Thanks
Going through a huge anxiety attack attack a week ago. I’ve barely slept. Thats what I worry about. Sleeping again. But this is teaching me to try to let go of that. After falling asleep nearly 30seconds after my brain would shoot awake. Hopefully with good sleep hygiene and schedule I can get my sleeping on track.
Yeah I have that too, your not alone buddy..
I am so sorry, I also experienced this a lot. My dr took me off trazodone which was not working and replaced it with doxepin (an insomnia med) and things are much better. I really hope it improves for you soon
The key here is to let it go and acceptance. I had the same issue many times, passing the whole night awake having anxiety attacks, and after that, every night I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep. It's a trauma response. Things started improving when I realized I had to let it go and I told myself that it does not matter, I would go to sleep if I didn't sleep it's fine, I would just go back to my yoga mat or something and sit with the feeling, or do something I loved with that time. You can meditate, journal or just do nothing (just don't be on your phone or watching tv). Eventually I felt calm or more tired and went back to sleep to try again but no pressure. Slowly I worried less and I was able to sleep again. It just takes time.
The only thing you have to do when you’re having an anxiety attack is, (English is not my first language) let it be, let the anxiety be there. Don’t fight it, just let it be. You will be over it in no time. The brain thinks it’s in danger that’s why you’re having an attack, but is not. What is the worst that can happen if you don’t fight it? Go sit down or li down, try to breath slow and from your stomach, and just let it be. The moment you stop being scared for the attacks is the moment they will stop. There is nothing that is going to happen to you. You’re not crazy, you’re not going to die, all the scary things you’re thinking is not going to happen.
@@allanrocha4647 Same story, I have started reading books when I don't get sleep due to anxiety and I feel a lot better& sleep for a few hours. Try this out.
You are one of those rare, rare individuals who actually care about people and do this to help. You really are a role model. Smart, ethical, creative, natural, unique, calming, rational but empathetic. Congrats! ❤🎉
Yes, I've noticed this. When I don't worry for a moment, my brain will bring up things to worry about. I actually have urgent problems to worry about, believe me. But the anxiety keeps me from actually solving those problems because I'm afraid to face them. My brain thinks that I'll forget about them if I don't constantly worry and feel on edge, so in the end I stay in the anxiety all the time.
This is awesome. I’m worrying majority of the day, EVERYDAY, and I can’t seem to shut my brain off. It even wakes me up out my sleep to worry about stuff. I’m at my wits end 😩😩😩
I remember worrying all the time since I was very young in elementary school. I worried about getting in the wrong school bus line, missing the bus, getting on the wrong bus, missing my stop, not getting a seat, having to sit in the back, missing school, forgetting homework, losing my younger siblings, and the worries have grown the older I've gotten. I worry over things I have no control over and worry that maybe I should have control over them. It's so stressful~ I hope that these techniques can help me cope with being such a longtime worrywart.
I’m right there with you!
I can relate.
Yep it has gotten worse for me over the years for some strange reason that I cannot figure out BUT I am working with a therapist to maybe find out steps to ease the pain of it. Worth the weight in solid GOLD.
You can get better, practice diffusion. My daughter developed anxiety and worry after a traumatic childhood, totally debilitated by the time she was 21. She thought she had to worry, that she was controlling things. She ruminated endlessly. She went through treatment much like what Emma shared. She applied herself and worked hard, because she wanted to live (she had gotten hopeless and isolated.) Within 4 months she was functional again! Over the last 3 years she got married and is now pregnant. Things she thought would never be able to accomplish!
How are you doing now?
I spent so many years of my life under the spell of cigarettes, anxiety and severe ptsd. Gained my freedom with the help of nature using mushroom (psilocybin) precisely. After my experience with shrooms five years ago every cigarette I lit up tasted like literal poison. I would take one hit and put out the cigarette. I haven't smoked since, no more anxiety mood and ptsd. Few doses of shroom experience made a 15 year 2 pack a day smoker quit instantly. Shrooms are life changing. There is no way you can put into words what it feels like..
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Shrooms can really help break the spell. Whatever spell you may be under.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
Im from Malaysia & ive been battling anxiety / depression for the past few months. This is a very2 good technique. Im gonna try it tomorrow. Thank you very much for sharing this tips. It really helps to calm me down. I also seek professional help but cant afford it all the times. Thank you again🙏🏼 God bless your beautiful soull
To those who read this:
Battling depression & anxiety is a marathon, not a sprint. We got this champ. Stay strong ❤
This seems really promising. I just set a reminder for every day, after school @2:40 and I labeled it “Ready. Set. WORRY! 🏁"
I love this idea! Thanks!
Im a veteran dealing with PTSD, GAD, and thank you. You vids are more helpful than the VA.
Thank you and stay well!
Thank you immensely for your service🙏🏻
I'm a therapist and I love your videos. It's always great to get new analogies to help people understand their thoughts!
Same! so helpful
For some of us, someone very early in our lives taught us that when bad things happen, it was our fault. “You weren’t careful, you didn’t think things through, you trusted the wrong people, you didn’t listen, etc etc.” And these things were reinforced with shame and/or punishment. Trauma cycling on trauma. It’s valuable to work on this with a therapist too. Much peace to all. ✌️😌✨
I worry constantly. I feel tense and that my heart rate is elevated completely outside any context except the drama theater going on in my head. I can tell this is going to take practice, but I like the idea that I can exert some control over worrying and that that is probably going to help with anxiety. great info.
Don't believe a word of this.
@ceooflonelinessinc.267 Those things are really hard. I don't know. I started meditating 20 minutes daily and have been doing it for a couple of months now, and it seems to help with a lot of things. I absolutely recommend it.
@ceooflonelinessinc.267 My only advise is keep watching this channel, and try meditation and journaling. My best wishes for your mental health.
I had to do this with grief. Grief was so overwhelming until a friend taught me this trick.
Hi, extremely useful tip for chronic anxiety. I have my personal experience to share. When I suddenly lost my 19 yr old Nithin to a bike accident, I read about this type of scheduled grief meditation ,where i chose a closed room ,sat in a corner ,totally immersed in the way the I saw my son in the mortuary, assumed the accident scenario, imagined his last few hours with friends etc . Was drenched with torrential tears ,but took off to the present moment in 5 to 10 min. I did this 4 times a day for 15 days,then gradually reduced to 2 times a day. After a month, i started journalling regularly. I m so glad n feel proud for my healthy coping and now using the same stragegy for kindred grievers. Yes..i totally agree with you. Thank u for the nice video.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your path forward on your grief journey. It is very encouraging to hear.
You should be so proud of yourself, you are so brave. I have lost my daughter in 2011, but still have not had courage to do what you did, well done for coping❤
❤@gregzaks6649 you'll get there. Make yourself take one step when you're ready
Worrying is one of the biggest challenges in my life, boy it takes so much energy, I'm always tired when I'm in that state, thank you very much for this video
I found out later in life that I had General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). When the doctor told me, I was actually relieved...because for much of my life I was blaming my self for worrying too much. I was on a mission then to become less anxious. Went to therapy, learned about boundaries...the hardest part was overcoming the anger I was having toward my family for putting me through experiences and environments that conditioned me for anxiety. "Don't worry. Take it easy"...looking back, I couldn't believe they said this while at the same time doing...well, I won't go there. Any way, therapy and things like mindfulness and self discovery have helped, but i take steps back at times unfortunately, the books 30 Days to Reduce Stress by Harper Daniels, Awareness by DeMello, and The Body Keeps the Score by Kolk...I like those. Journaling has also been a life saver when I get the motivation to do it.
Ditto! I wish you well!
Art journaling may be easier to stick with, it helps me. Thanks for the book references. Good luck!
Thanks for sharing your experiences . God bless you.
I have thoughts like that too: things are going so well, it’s bound to change soon.
Yeah any calm I feel in just a day, my brain can't handle a full good day of everything being ok. No this brain of mine won't allow that so my brain goes to work against me at some point and gives me things to be disturbed or worried about and back to square 1 again.
I've been listening to anxiety hypnosis videos on here by a guy called Andrew Major. He's very good sometimes they send me off to sleep lol.
@@JamesP44yes, that ‘this is too good to be true’ feeling lol
@@Sofiv3
Yep even these small blessings are too good to be true so they don't last lol. Got to love it!
For a long time, I thought distraction would help me with my worrying. But I only worried more. And I had multiple mental breakdowns. This video helped me realise that distraction will never help. So, thank you!
It's so terribly difficult to explain to people how our brain often subconsciously believes worrying helps prevent disasters. I've had someone tell me it's impossible considering our brains are best designed to support us in a healthy way and they cannot miscalculate something that can have debilitating effects on our lives. It's extremely difficult to explain to people who agree that our brains are primarily equipped for survival but are unable to grasp this toxic loop that our brains end up engaging in for our survival that worrying prevents negative events from happening. Thank you for articulating this!
When I first started getting help for anxiety, I noticed 3 things. There was an involuntary/physical aspect, things in my past that contributed to it, and a habit that formed over time. When the involuntary part was helped by medication, I was able to see the habit and some underlying causes for the first time. It was like getting prescription glasses to see my anxiety! I also noticed when the involuntary anxiousness popped up, I'd find any justification for it. One time I blamed not making a sandwich fast enough for it and realized wow, I'd find any reasoning for the anxiousness! Eventually I learned to sit with the feeling which was extremely uncomfortable and to not reach for a reason. It broke the cycle of feeling anxious - justifying it, feeling anxious - justifying it again. I just wanted to say to anyone that needs to hear it, because it's overwhelming to deal with all aspects of anxiety at once. If you can give yourself some grace, take it one part at a time, you can make some big changes.
It has been 3 days of me doing this and it has already helped. In fact, when it comes to worry time, I get bored of worrying and have to make myself worry.
It just shows how meaningless the worrying thought is, especially because as I’m willingly worrying, I can hear another voice in my head saying “You have no control over that, so let it go”, or “You can walk away from this thing if you want”, or “You’re not actually worried about that”
I can’t wait to see how it progresses 3 weeks from now :) Thank you for this awesome exercise.
Wow!!! How interesting, you get bored of the worrying. Maybe that means worrying is really just a distraction or something.
How did the 3 weeks go?
How is ur progress?
How are you doing with your worrying time? :)
I'm interested in how you're going too.
You there? How is your progress?
Thank you for genuinely caring about us. You make the difference in the world. I can’t thank you enough
Watched 2 of your videos. Almost 35 min, for first time in last 5 years, i was fully focused & engaged.
I love that you shared the story about worrying God may send trials to you when life seems to peaceful. I've been so blessed in my life that I worry about the disparity. I see the trials that other people face and think it's not fair that they have to go through that when I don't. This of course snowballs into thinking that if we all face trials in this life then its only a matter of time before i have to face the same thing everyone else in the world does. I essentially put a ticking clock on every happy aspect of my life and i just sit an wait until the people and things that I love are taken away from me.
You are a great soul. Pray for you to get over this and lead a blessed life.
@@ponnu3 thank you. I really needed kind words tonight.
Aww me too 🧡You’re not alone. No one necessarily deserves the bad things life throws their way. But also you deserve to be happy and enjoy your happy life. Just because bad things happen it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happy things happening to you. None of us can or should predict the future. It’s hard to just be happy and present but we can do it! I hope you can enjoy more moments without anxiety getting in the way!!
@@blegh3481 thank you so much for your kind words
this has been me every day for the last couple weeks. it has gotten out of control to where the worry is debilitating. have you gotten any treatment? i can’t live like this forever.
Managing/critiquing worry and anxiety has definitely been useful. I even noticed myself that I may be addicted to anxiety rather than actually suffering from what I thought was causing it. I was worrying about big things, thinking all that time was useful, but then I'd suffer similar anxiety over much less meaningful stuff, making me realize that I just like to worry. But the part about worrying about not worrying really spoke to me. It's an odd feeling, kind of like the feeling of not studying for an exam. You think you should be ready for a problem at any moment, then you have moments of peace and non-awareness, before a feeling of dread comes on that you took your eye off the ball and things will go wrong because you let your concentration slip. It's a vicious cycle.
Worried,, it's always gonna be there ,,,ya have to evaluate an apply , ,, it's easier said then done ,ya have to control the Worried,,do not let Worried control you ,,,Emma is God sent !!
Thank you. As a single-father of two since 2005, over the years slowly i found myself becoming more of a worrisome father, than the "go-to guy" father. This past year I've been doing my best to work through and replace that bad-habit that has snuck up on me. My 23 year young son has no problem scolding me when i "get like that"...and i have no qualms about backing off. I take full responsibility. So again, thank you. Very insightful. Peace! ✌
HI- i am also a single dad and am in the same boat as you. As time goes on I worry about everything more and more..You are not alone.
I feel like this really deserves a comment. I have been doing this for one full week. What's really neat is, I have had one really pressing matter come up during this week where I worried and worried about it. I wrote down all the ways it could go wrong. It turned out the thing I was worried about was totally without merit. I've also had the ability to stop and say "this thing is irrational to worry about" and just move on from it. 7 days in and I'm starting to have trouble filling the whole 15 minute block with worries. I end up saying "oh I already worried about that and have nothing new to add. I can let that one go."
I don't know if I can hold myself to stick to the habit, but the experience has certainly been interesting.
I've never been to any therapists, and I was once thought of putting a certain time of the day to worry, get frustrated or feel 'negative' emotions on schedule. This video reinforced what I thought of. Thanks! ❤
I have PTSD and when you said chronic worrying and chronic stress identified with that immediately as one of my symptoms thank you very much for what you do
My problem is events often support my worries. We went to Bahamas recently and we were considering taking a ride on sight-seeing boat, but I said better not, something bad could happen. A week latter, the boat sank and put 75 people into the sea and one died. Being right about one's worries just brings more worries.
True. But when you were considering - on that day - it didn't happen. So technically speaking you were not right about your worry on that day. If you would have taken that ride on that day, nothing would have happened. I was in Bali eating in a restaurant that was bombed two weeks later. I was in Barcelona walking on the famous and busy La Ramblas Street when only four days later there was a guy driving into the people on that same street killing many people. I was walking on the sidewalk in my village when a car's two tyres burst, driving onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street and scratching along a wall exactly in the spot where I usually stop to cross the street when I come back from the lake. Now, if I would worry about all that, I would think: I can't go to Bali anymore because I might get into a bombing, same with the incident in Barcelona (maybe leading to believing that it's better to not travel at all). Or I would not go to that street anymore because next time, a car will maybe come crashing into me right at the time when I'm walking there. Better not walk on walkways ever again. Am just telling you these stories to tell you: Yes, you are right, events do support worry (happens to me too, and there were times where I would avoid going to concerts because of the fear of bombings; or there was a time I was really scared of driving a car - I drive now and still feel uncomfortable driving, and I actively have to work through worry thoughts of "I will might crash into a tree, or, oh my gosh, if there is no parking or a difficult parking situation, I'll be screwed...), but on the other side, we also have to be realistic about how often these things really happen? How often are we really screwed? And that is what I am telling myself: The risk is relatively low if I apply common sense (for example not going on a sightseeing boat that looks like it will break apart any soon) and that if something bad happens, it was really bad luck. And that I better focus on what is important to focus on in the present moment.
No you were wrong because the boat did not sink that day. You could say the same thing about cars and see a crash and say I knew it, driving is not safe.
@@ComplicatedSimplicite No, you are wrong. I could see the boat in person and the sketchy people running the operation. And I don't know much about boats, but I do know how far I can swim in open seas is not great.
Im so glad i found a therapist on youtube ❤
Loved this video! It helped me so much. I started doing the exercise today, but I found an interesting way to make it even better (at least for me). I sort of combined it with the exercise for regrets you give in one of your videos.
So this is what I do:
I set a time for worrying, I start writing down everything I am worrying about at the moment, I do this for 25 minutes, and at the end, I read them again and make a little box. On one side I write my REAL worries, for example: if i’m worrying about failing my exam for not studying enough because I struggle with discipline and organization etc, I know my real worry there, is not giving the best of me, so I write that down. And on the other side of the box, I write the VALUE behind that worry. In this case the value is hard-work and determination, and always trying to give my best!
So I do that with everything, and I end up understanding myself so much more, and giving me compassion when I feel that again.
And I choose to focus on the value behind all those worries, and start working from there! I put my energy in giving my best, in trying, and in working hard for what I want, instead of putting my energy in the fear of failing that exam!😂 and that helps so much more!
I hope this helps someone too🩷
As someone with ptsd from childhood experiences and have fear of all people that someone is also out to hurt me this helped me because now I realize it's just me worrying.
Realizing that my daily journaling is scheduled worry makes me very happy. Thank you for this insight!
Like most things if you don't give any food or attention it wil give up and die . That's what I had to realize , that I was subconsciously worrying .. really about things I couldn't change anyhow , and that was feeding the stress and anxiety , I didn't even know I was doing it , and that was a total waste of quality time , so getting to the root is gold ,
i wish i could give you a hug, Thanks again Emma hope you're well
This makes so much sense. I just found your channel.
About 10 years ago, in my early 20’s, I had that “don’t give a shit attitude “. I never once had a panic attack or felt anxious for that period of time. It’s gotten worse the last few years. And even before my early 20’s, I was worrying constantly. But for that period of time. It was pure bliss.
Thanks you for these videos.
I worry about worrying....this is something I needed to know and something I can do.... thank you
I love this idea of scheduled worrying. I always have worry thoughts before bed and it keeps me awake at night. I often will grab my phone to type down those thoughts so I don’t forget that I have to worry about them and find am answer. If I take the time during the day to do this exercise, I know it’s written down and I won’t forget so maybe I can relax at night and take my peace back. I’m going to get a notebook and call it my worry journal, it’s official! Thank you!!!
I worry so much about my teen son who has struggled with mental health for the past 5yrs. Thru therapy , we are trying as a family to heal and vice fwd. But when he shows a pattern of unhealthy behavior , it takes me back to the worst period we had . My anxiety soars as I am left powerless to help
🙏💙🙏Saying a prayer for you and your son. ✝️🛐
You are not alone, I experience the same anxieties. We don’t go to therapy and my son is physically unable to speak to us…it’s now long term situation and I feel helpless. We’ve had traumatic situations that we’ve moved on from but I still have the high alert button on constantly. Keep hoping and loving x
@@krs1597 I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing similar. If there is any possible way to seek therapy for your son or family( even online options) it would make a difference . Praying for you and your son
I just wanted to thank you for all fo your work on yt. You make a difference and are important to a lot of people. God bless you!
It would be nice to see more videos about , neuroplasticity, how to reprogram your brain in order to feel safe when you feel anxious, also in upcoming situations like when you go outside, thanks emma❤
I don't know if that would even be possible considering the anxiety response is biologically meant to protect us from danger so I highly doubt we can feel safe when we're anxious.
Thank you Emma for helping all of us for free through your videos. Happy Thanksgiving in advance to you and your Family. I’m so Grateful for you!!
Me too😊
I'm a college student and lately I have so many worries about life, studies etc. I've had GAD since high school but got over it the last years so now that it came back I have completely forgot how to deal with the constant anxious thoughts... the worst thing is when every little thing trigers your worrying and you feel like you cant live a normal life. Your video was very helpful and I will follow tour advice!
Thank you so, so much for the work you do. What to do to help with [enter problem here] is oftentimes way less important than why to do it. Nobody, and I mean nobody will do this practice for 3 weeks without knowing exactly WHY to do it. And this is in 99% of cases in therapy. Patient talks, therapist listens but do not educate why things are how they are. Most of that time ends eventually being time wasted.
This video shows the way to do it. In twelve minutes you have informed me more than 6 years in therapy.
This method works for me to suppress the anxiety.
The falconers keep their Raptors hooded, meaning they cover the bird's eyes with a leather blind when the bird is not flying. That's supposed to keep the bird calm and relaxed.
So, I simply close my eyes whenever I can. For example if I get thirsty, I close my eyes and walk to kitchen and drink water and go back to my seat, all with eyes closed.
Same thing when I am eating, taking a bath, etc. It works for me.
I literally just typed in how to manage worrying and stress and i found this video and a few others from you. I immediately felt a sense of calming and i feel excited about training my mind to worry when it’s time to worry. Thank God i came across your content. 🙏🏽
I mostly worry about losing my children (now adults) or my spouse. That’s the one thing I just don’t how in the world I could handle. I know they worrying about it won’t change the outcome! 😣
Even I worry about exactly the same, but not my spouse or something but a close friend.
I was always a worrier, but 2 big tragedies happened to me when I was 17 /18 year old then when I was 27 another one, so that set me up to worry the rest of my life even more.
This video does make sense to me. Now I get it why I worry less last Sunday because I took time to worry about the things I need to do the day before. The day I’m typing this comment is Monday and this day I had a really rough day. I missed to prepare something for work earlier which gave me the stress and worry about it too much. Even when I arrive home, I kept thinking of what happened. Now that I saw this video, I realize how important it is to set boundaries and time for certain tasks. As a teacher, it is really hard to manage my worries. Thank you for posting this video. How I wish I saw this earlier since it is 10pm now. You gave me a sense of relief knowing that you’re a professional.
You put my worrying into words. Thank you. I feel if I'm not worrying I'm not actively engaging with a problem. So I worry 💭
I appreciate how clearly you explain these topics!
This video helped so much and now i treat my anxiety like a little toddler 😂 when kids bring you something you're not interested in or need, for example a pebble ignoring them or telling them no thank you doesn't work, you gotta do the whole "oh my goodness thank you so much for bringing me this" and they will leave happily and continue doing what they're doing. I now have started treating my thoughts the same way, "Oh wow thank you for bringing this up, we can talk more about it at 3pm how about that". I was ignoring my anxiety and trying to swat it away and do something to distract my brain but that just made it more persistent in wanting to show me the pebble 😂
I've been told by therapist that I need to let go of the "why" this has been a big help. Thank you.
Usually my ADHD symptoms don't allow me to watch ANY 'interesting video' for it's time span and I end up adding it to my 'watch latter's playlist. But your video was like mindful lecture that I enjoyed for 13:50 minutes. Thank you.
Listening to music blocks worrying
Music 🎶 has and continues to make me happy
I sang and listened to music 🎼 since I was 3
Music saved my life
Music produces good chemicals in our brains
Thanks!
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Hey Emma how about do a video that will help me but all of us about the worry thoughts about the Israel war and worried what it may bring in the future because I want to find some closer and clarity in this ❤
Distraction 11:18 using distraction has led me totally destroy my life. I lost my prime time 20-30 by gluing myself to social media , porn , video games , etc etc. Made me addicted to screen, porn etc. I should have dared enough to address them then n there itself but i am glad to be here knowing what to do at right time.
Hi Emma, can you please do a series on ocd. You have a great, clear way of explaining things which I think would be helpful for people struggling with this commonly misunderstood anxiety disorder
She can't help with this. What makes you believe she can help that. You can onlybhelp yourself
I’m paralyzed with anxiety right now. Thank you for your channel, 🙏
Thanks!
OMG! Every single word you say in this and your other videos is like describing me and my thoughts. Crazy!
It’s like therapy just listening to you cuz u know how we feel and u r compassionate about it. I do feel blessed that I found this channel on RUclips. Life saver!
Best advice i ever got was to stop worrying about things you can't control 😊
I feel so seen right now. I often times find myself worrying for not worrying hard enough because I literally think I will get hit by the worst for not worrying.. I‘ll work on it!
Ohmigosh, I’m so glad I found you. I’ve been a life time worrier. In fact I had a friend who never worried, so I thought I had to worry for her. She called me her DW (designated worrier)! Thanks for all your advice and help!
To stop worrying as I tried to fall asleep, I learned to start thinking random words. I usually go within a category, such as random numbers, types of animals, etc. This has been very helpful because it gives me an alternate focus. I don't remember where I learned this trick, but I have been successfully using it for months.
This is my first time watching this video but definitely not my first time watching a video on regulating my anxiety and worries. I've been living in a constant state of anxiety ever since covid; some months I've been completely fine but I find that it ends up coming back to me sooner or later. I've found that mindfulness and literally writing everything I feel down helps so much because it makes me realize how insignificant my worries and overthinking are in actually fixing the issue that I am worried about. I know it sounds super obvious but I feel like I haven't internalized it yet. I'm gonna try the scheduled worry and let you know how it goes! This is the most helpful video I have found so far that addresses anxiety so thank you so so much!
Exactly ! We worry about things we aren’t even going through, I do this all the time !!
I love this, I am currently on medication for anxiety but I am looking into more natural ways and this seems to be a good video to start with :) you have a great way with explaining things for me to understand. Your videos are very helpful!
You are a treasure! I subscribed. Mental health is so important for being grounded. Lonliness, for me, can be a culprit.
In the world of addiction recovery, we call "worry", "living in the wreckage of the future". It can be debilitating! The problem for me was that I lacked any spiritual connection to a power greater than myself. I don't attend church, I'm not a theologian, I don't proclaim to have all the answers, and I'm certainly not without fault.
I do know this...even if I start from a place where I don't believe in anything, "Acting As If", allows me to live with much, much less stress! It has served me well on a daily basis for nearly 30 years! All the best...Mark
You have helfen me more in 3 days than in my long life so far. As I plan to live forever, it all comes in handy! Thank you!
Thanks!
Thank you! I hope it's helpful!
I recently FINALLY found hope. After the first of the year, I discovered I have ADHD TYPE C, Also have been diagnosed with autism.
wow!
So now what? Well, thru proper medication, and therapy, my life has changed !
I have understood why I have been struggling MY WHOLE LIFE! And I'm 65 in May!
I could have used this knowledge years ago!
4:54 That’s me all the time but PTSD also triggers my G.A.D. I love this presentation. Much needed advice.
I was literally going to go looking for a video about stopping my worry (which has crept up lately) and this popped up in my feed!
Yes, thank you so much for this channel for all the messages that you put out there for all the time and energy that you put into it. I can't tell you you have been a blessing to me and I am just so grateful that you are there. When I do come home stress from work I turn on your videos. I think of your messages in my head and it helps
I love your videos. You have such a calming presence for me. Thank you ❤
your videos make me feel so much better about my thoughts process and gives me so many tips to use. i will definitely be setting a worry time in my day, to see how it changes my way of thinking. thank you!
It's all neurology, retraining your brains! I am thrilled to find your videos!
Set boundaries in my brain. So true but made me chuckle all the same
What a gift, the content you put out here to help us navigate our feelings. Thank you for sharing, please keep up the amazing work!
Thank you for taking the time to make this video. Appreciate your help ❤
At timestamp 5:00 you just made me realize what's causing my anxiety. I'm a very religious person and I believe in Karma. I think that's what's been causing me anxiety.
I went to my favorite bands concert last march 2023 and that was the best night of my life. I was too happy.. After a week my parents got into motorcycle accident. Although they are okay now I think I was traumatized because I'm the one who accompanied them in the emergency room. Same thing happen with my friend went to the same band concert and his father ended up in a motorcycle accident too. But his father was critically injured, he's comatose and still haven't woke up for a few months.
Now I feel like I shouldn't be really too much happy because something bad will happen in return of that happiness. But I believe in my God. I know I will overcome this anxiety in the near future. This anxiety is taking a toll in my physical health right now.
Emma, you are just wonderfull 🙏 only on day 14 of the course, but I've already learned tons from you. Thank you so much!
Emma is super bright and a great communicator.
Thank you for this video Emma! I will try this.I think that it will be quite helpful.You and your channel are the best!
You're so welcome!
I recently turned 40 and it hit like a ton of bricks. Every memory in my life feels like it happened yesterday. Then I start thinking about dates in the future and how distant they are from the memories from dates they happened in the past. Like for example, I was there the day my step-grandpa died in May 1997. I was 12 but it feels like yesterday even though it wasn’t. That memory just popped in my head this week randomly. Then I start thinking that I’m going to be 67 in 27 years since that memory was 27 years ago and that gives me big time panic. Things like that have been going on the last 3 weeks. My brain struggles with distracting. Working through it. Thanks for this video.
Your content is brilliant! Thanks so much. I have so many health worries and fear and have no idea what to do with all of the energy that comes with stress and worry. Worrying is definitely what I do. So going to plan my worry for tomorrow and kinda looking forward to it..... Bring it on Brain! Im up for it!