Tim Fletcher - - another awesome Canadian helping others in healing and dealing with mental health. Mr. Fletcher has figured out that trauma is the core problem of these issues.
What a coincidence it is that so many people from all over the world watch both of the speakers! There's so much love and kindness in this collab! Cheers from Crimea, Russia!
I found Tim Fletcher about 8 months ago and can't get enough of his content. I have learned so much about narcissism from so many of you. And then when I found Mr. Fletcher's work, I finally began to understand the "why" from my end of the equation of being in a narcissistic relationship. I also began to delve more deeply into understanding my own "reactive abuse" and had to face the truth that not all of my reactive abuse was caused by the narcissist in front of me, but also because of my upbringing, which was more garden variety toxic than narcissistic. My parents were not alcoholic either. So in the past, I have struggled to accept my own shortcomings, because I didn't understand complex trauma. I have learned that so many things can lead to a person developing complex trauma and going on to get involved with narcissist people, perhaps taking on characteristics themselves. Anyway, the mental health world needs to give Mr. Fletcher and his work their immediate and undivided attention. He is unlocking a new path to healing for so many.
Thank you for inviting Tim. His thorough series on trauma(available on RUclips) is excellent. I’ve learned loads from you both, so God bless each of you.🩶
I have lots of triggers but I realized that they are a map of discovery even from the trauma you can't remember. Triggers point at the wounds we need to heal although they are painful and discouraging.
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. This has been very helpful. I suffer from complex trauma because of having a narcissistic father and a mother who blamed me for her unhappiness and was also emotionally and physically abusive, too. I became a people pleaser, didn't set good boundaries because I didn't know anything about boundaries. Rather than become a narcissist, I became an empath. To endure my abuse, I created 32-33 different personalities. (I'm down to one now). My ex-husband became a malignant narcissist. What a combination. As an empath, I also suffer with shame all the time, too. Hearing "once the shame heals, the narcissism starts to disappear." Just wow. And explaining healing from the pain - that we need a place that is safe to be able to heal. I also don't have hope. I didn't realize this is what I have been feeling all my life. As I heal from narcissistic abuse, I'm also healing from childhood abuse. It's quite a process. I think this podcast is excellent, Dr. Carter.
Wow, I can't believe how much I learned in half an hour. Having trauma of both the little t and big T varieties, I sought therapy on three separate occasions but never succeeded in finding help. Released from an unhealthy relatsionship, I lived alone for the first time in my life and then my progress was head spinning. As a somatic experience, the pain and anger I experienced during that time of intense growth couldn't be said to be fun, but I quickly learned that dark nights, when either pain or anger seemed unendurable, gave way to bright mornings, like seeing the world for the first time, and just how beautiful it was. I quit therapy on the last occasion when it became painfully obvious that the therapist was doing me more harm than good. Even when it became apparent I had raging PTSD, she insisted that happy thoughts would lead to happy feelings, rather than attempt to get to the bottom of why I felt that way. I learned to do the opposite of what she ordered to me to do, rejecting that staple of CBT - 'thoughts affect feelings' in favour of understanding that feelings also affect thought, and showing regard for my own feelings. That way led to progress. It felt so good to hear these two fine gentlemen articulate and explain a period of growth I managed for myself but didn't fully understand. And I so appreciate professionals who can disseminate complex concepts in such down to earth terms. Thank you so much.
When we fail, "go to compassion and curiosity". Why did I react that way? What would a healthier response have been? Practice that. And be kind to yourself. (Don't beat up the wounded child.) Thanks Tim Fletcher. And Dr Carter is doing a fantastic job at meeting our unmet needs by educating us (with love and understanding), and connecting us with others who understand and don't judge us harshly, by inviting us to be part of Team Healthy. Wonderful!
Both of you have helped me so much! Once I learned I was raised in a narcissist family system it all made sense. I have quit drinking, smoking cigs and pot. Thank you Dr C and Tim!
Fabulous interview! 🙏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏Please keep these coming! Everything Tim says is so valuable to so many who are suffering with low self esteem due to childhood trauma and neglect specially veterans who gave everything to their country and our suffering, terribly with war wounds, emotional trauma, and challenging relationship situation to no fault of their own
The beginning of the research for understanding PTSD was because of war veterans although at first they called it shell-shock after WWI. Before that, the first psychologists were writers. I guess that's why I have always been fond of Dostoevsky's books. The portraits of the characters of his books are magnificent.
Tim has absolutely changed my life and contributed to my healing in the last year. I’ve been searching for years - and no one has articulated my experience, symptoms, and solution like he has. To say I am deeply grateful for the transformative power of his understanding and ability to communicate CPTSD is an understatement. Sincerely, Emily
Quite the discovery, wasn't it? I feel the same. It was Patrick Teahan who caught my eye in the first place. But Tim and Dr C followed soon after. All these people do a stalwart job. I love them so much for it.
When I left an abusive relationship, someone called him a narcissist. I'd never heard of the word. I researched it and quickly found out that not only was he one, but my father was too. I was 47 yrs old when I found this out. I literally had a mental break and cptsd for 2 years afterwards. It broke open my world in the most catastrophic way. Thankfully, by listening to these interviews, I don't feel alone, or crazy.
You are not alone although people with cptsd isolate ourselves and it reminds me of a sentence about introverts; united introverts, which sounds like an oxímoron. We are not crazy, we are wounded and there are a whole bunch of people who are too but they don't know it yet and unfortunately, we can't even help them because it will be triggering for them and they will deny it. For some unknown reason; not everyone has reached rock bottom and we can't even advise them. Luckily, you paid attention to what that person said to you but that doesn't happen for everyone. I wish therapists would talk more about what happens when two people with cptsd get together because it can feel like a war zone, no matter how much both of them need the company.
7 months free from the narcissist, still healing, I have a lot of anger, and when someone is just a little disrespectful I'm immediatly angry, and tell them that they have no respect😢😢
When I divorced my ex, I took to social media to explain to friends and family that the marriage never worked out bc my ex is emotionally immature but I don't blame him bc of the generational trauma in his family (I'm not explaining this to one person at a time). My ex-FIL asked me what my "motives" were. So glad I left that family because EVERYTHING they did had a motive; nothing was unconditional. I blocked everyone on that side of the family since and only contact my ex about our children.
Completely brilliant, just about everything I’d want said is here, so I’ll be recommending this one!! Only one small point: there are a range of long term problematic behavioural outcomes with c-ptsd, not just addiction, or taking on the narcissism of a seeming narcissistic parent, or the heartlessness of a (ceo-type) psychopathic parent. There are others, most notably dissociation and social withdrawal.
Wow. My 2 favorite guys to listen to on one video! Great work both of you! I have learned so much from you both. I am single and happy. So glad you two connected! God bless you both!
Thank you so much for having Tim Fletcher on your channel! He is THE voice of how to recover from CPTSD. Thousands have healed under his wise guidance and programs.
Tim Fletcher was incredible for me at the beginning of my CPTSD healing journey. Saved me during a 9 month wait for therapy and continues to inform and encourage me to this day. Great stuff from you both, thanks.
My first trauma was being repeatedly being molested by an older cousin, he tortured small animals, and then not being treated, coupled with not receiving the nurturing I needed, That was only the beginning Big traumas, I resonate with everything you're saying Tim Just been through it with an online scammers, narcissistic romance, and I am shattered
Tim Fletchers work and his react friday nights have become one of the leaders for people in this field. I shared Tim’s work with my own therapist who works with complex trauma and that opened new doorways for the entire group. I’m an adult survivor and complex trauma is part of who I am. However , the react program has been an essential tool for me and others to help us to better understand ourselves and the people all around us better. I know that that re-act Friday nights are about the best series for any recovering person of abuse, neglect, and deep emotional and spiritual trauma. Thank you both for your work. I subscribe to both your channels. Aloha from Hawai’i too.
Thank you Tim Fletcher and Dr. Carter! This was a wonderful program and I so appreciate how clearly I can understand how CPTSD and Narcissism is explained here. Thank you both!
What helped me was doing a deep dive into the core narratives from childhood. The messages of "I'm not good enough", "I'm not innocent", "I'm a failure," "I need to please these people or they'll abandon me," etc. We all have some sort of these. Realizing that these messages are not who we are is key. I like that mindfulness book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniels when I need to rebalance.
Thank you so much to the both of you for this, Absolutely tremendous, I've been off alcohol nearly 5years and working on my inner state, Healing is beautiful and I can recognize unhealthy easier now, I'm not letting anyone interfere with my healing journey, Peace, love and respect to you both, Gu's and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)
Congratulations! I wish I could! It's slowly killing me. A young body handles booze a lot easier, but an older body....the toxins aren't so easily handled anymore. I never liked AA, counselling didn't help either. How did you stop? What helped you?
@@sissi8610 Thank you for your kindness, Much appreciated, :-) It was my will power, determination and strength, I wish you well in your healing and recovery journey, Peace, love and respect to you, Have a pleasant day :-)
What he's talking about is what happened to me. I have spent my whole life trying to understand some things that happened in my family of origin. This explains a lot and helps me understand both myself and the family I have been so hurt by better. Although they hurt me, I feel such pain in regards to their suffering. I see that they experienced the same things I did. It was passed on and it breaks my heart. This has given me a lot to think about.
The narc will actually ask “what is wrong with me?” Shocking! I thought they will only ask what’s wrong with you? They feel pain and can consciously becoming a reasonable person? How many narcissists have ever turned around by doing any self reflection?
The Internet has brought the effect of unresolved pain to our mobile devices. We are literally carrying around the dysfunction of others. Let that sink in.
My childhood was dotted with capital Ts AND lower case ts. My parents shouldn’t have had children, period. Neither of them were equipped for the job. Their parents too were total disasters. 😞 😞 😞
Same here. It was a rollercoaster ride from hell but peppered with stuff that from the outside looked great and extremes of intermittent reinforcement. I acted like pavlovs dogs!
I hit the liked button before even watching the interview! :) I've been watching Dr.C and Tim for the last few years and ....I want to say to both of you ...THANK YOU!!! Putting the videos filled with knowledge and simple, clear approaches helped me beyond the words can express. 3 years of my healing were very productive, thanks to you.
My mother was Dx with NPD and she died being a NPD. No matter how much pain she had she never looked at herself! I have been Dx with Complex-PTSD and blame myself for everything that went wrong in my life.
Thank you, Dr. C. I actually watched this on the day it was released but haven't had time to comment. Ditto for the other videos released recently. But be sure I'll be circling back and reviewing and checking out Tim Fletcher's website. My husband's insecurities are keeping me very busy right now. Unfortunately, I'm finding that narcs continue to be exhausting even when you're trying to be compassionate. and supportive. I don't sense that he's in a manipulative phase-- just insecure.
I didnt know i even had cptsd until i was told at 52. I just looked at the therapist, kind of stunned. Then i developed ptsd due to surgery gone wrong with a lunatic narcissist surgeon, could even by psychopathic tbh! All before i knew about narcissism. He ruined my life, lied to me before surgery and gaslit me after and the whole hospital via different consultants followed his lead. My family coyldnt be bothered and dont give a damn. Thats how everything from rhe past came back to bute me on the backside. I thought id gotten iver everything. Nope! Id been carrying it like a bag of bricks and everything makes sense now. The anxiety and gad, depression, anger, ocd, body dysmorphia, a period of anorexia. Complex trauma and ongoing danger 👍 thats exactly what it was like, a constant buzzing threat and total lack of safety and nobody to help me. Suicide seemed like a good idea! I believe what saved me is 3 things that stayed in my core from childhood, my imagination and love for shows with characters of honour and integrity, the family dog and love of animals, my grandmother who lived with us temporarily for a few years(though i have no memory of it i feel it! and was close to her at the end of her life when she developed dementia). Once you get the information and work out what happened and where it came from, move through the pain and grief you peel away the toxic layers. Never thought id be hapoy to say that thanks guys so much 👌✌️
This was so good! Tim made me cry when he talked about bringing a parent a cup of coffee metaphor. Was curious about his addiction recovery program, the name(s) again please and under what terms & conditions can garden variety addicts access it/them? Thanks Guys ❤
I've gone to therapist many times, I am so tired, I am 68 now,and I'm looking at being al9ne for ever,because I can't do the people pleaser anymore, I'm tired of trying I just wanted a healthy relationship, I have lost hope
Tim Fletcher - - another awesome Canadian helping others in healing and dealing with mental health. Mr. Fletcher has figured out that trauma is the core problem of these issues.
Yes...I really enjoyed meeting him!
What a coincidence it is that so many people from all over the world watch both of the speakers! There's so much love and kindness in this collab! Cheers from Crimea, Russia!
How fortunate we are for a dream team like this.
Dynamic duo 🎉
😇😇
Hi Teresa
One hell of a dynamic duo right here....thank you both ❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
@@SurvivingNarcissism😇😇
Thank you for having Tim Fletcher on your show Dr. C.
I found Tim Fletcher about 8 months ago and can't get enough of his content. I have learned so much about narcissism from so many of you. And then when I found Mr. Fletcher's work, I finally began to understand the "why" from my end of the equation of being in a narcissistic relationship. I also began to delve more deeply into understanding my own "reactive abuse" and had to face the truth that not all of my reactive abuse was caused by the narcissist in front of me, but also because of my upbringing, which was more garden variety toxic than narcissistic. My parents were not alcoholic either. So in the past, I have struggled to accept my own shortcomings, because I didn't understand complex trauma. I have learned that so many things can lead to a person developing complex trauma and going on to get involved with narcissist people, perhaps taking on characteristics themselves.
Anyway, the mental health world needs to give Mr. Fletcher and his work their immediate and undivided attention. He is unlocking a new path to healing for so many.
I think your words are just so beautiful and have helped me to have more insight into my own issues.
Thank you for inviting Tim. His thorough series on trauma(available on RUclips) is excellent. I’ve learned loads from you both, so God bless each of you.🩶
Top two in the field! Neither uses triggering language or attitudes in their presentations. Love love love!
I have lots of triggers but I realized that they are a map of discovery even from the trauma you can't remember. Triggers point at the wounds we need to heal although they are painful and discouraging.
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. This has been very helpful. I suffer from complex trauma because of having a narcissistic father and a mother who blamed me for her unhappiness and was also emotionally and physically abusive, too. I became a people pleaser, didn't set good boundaries because I didn't know anything about boundaries. Rather than become a narcissist, I became an empath. To endure my abuse, I created 32-33 different personalities. (I'm down to one now). My ex-husband became a malignant narcissist. What a combination. As an empath, I also suffer with shame all the time, too. Hearing "once the shame heals, the narcissism starts to disappear." Just wow. And explaining healing from the pain - that we need a place that is safe to be able to heal. I also don't have hope. I didn't realize this is what I have been feeling all my life. As I heal from narcissistic abuse, I'm also healing from childhood abuse. It's quite a process. I think this podcast is excellent, Dr. Carter.
Wow, I can't believe how much I learned in half an hour. Having trauma of both the little t and big T varieties, I sought therapy on three separate occasions but never succeeded in finding help. Released from an unhealthy relatsionship, I lived alone for the first time in my life and then my progress was head spinning. As a somatic experience, the pain and anger I experienced during that time of intense growth couldn't be said to be fun, but I quickly learned that dark nights, when either pain or anger seemed unendurable, gave way to bright mornings, like seeing the world for the first time, and just how beautiful it was. I quit therapy on the last occasion when it became painfully obvious that the therapist was doing me more harm than good. Even when it became apparent I had raging PTSD, she insisted that happy thoughts would lead to happy feelings, rather than attempt to get to the bottom of why I felt that way. I learned to do the opposite of what she ordered to me to do, rejecting that staple of CBT - 'thoughts affect feelings' in favour of understanding that feelings also affect thought, and showing regard for my own feelings. That way led to progress. It felt so good to hear these two fine gentlemen articulate and explain a period of growth I managed for myself but didn't fully understand. And I so appreciate professionals who can disseminate complex concepts in such down to earth terms. Thank you so much.
When we fail, "go to compassion and curiosity". Why did I react that way? What would a healthier response have been? Practice that. And be kind to yourself. (Don't beat up the wounded child.) Thanks Tim Fletcher.
And Dr Carter is doing a fantastic job at meeting our unmet needs by educating us (with love and understanding), and connecting us with others who understand and don't judge us harshly, by inviting us to be part of Team Healthy. Wonderful!
Tim Fletcher and Dr Carter are so amazing and help so much! ❤
My 2 fav teachers together … for ppl who are actually investing in healing, this is a dream come true!
Tim helps make complex subjects more digestible. Thank you for this.
You both are incredible healers! My whole life has changed FOR THE BETTER after listening to and applying both of your teachings. THANK you both!
I had to say, o my god, thank you two dudes
Both of you have helped me so much! Once I learned I was raised in a narcissist family system it all made sense. I have quit drinking, smoking cigs and pot. Thank you Dr C and Tim!
You’re quite welcome!
I'm proud of you.❤
You should be proud of yourself
Amazing
It's like when superheroes join forces. I get all giddy. Especially these two. OMG❤
Always remembering trauma is where my healthcare starts and must remain diligent in putting it first. ❤
ULTIMATE DREAM TEAM ❤❤❤ MY FAVORITE TWO ❤❤❤ just add dr Ramani and the earth will shake
Do a search inside my channel and you find Dr. Ramani on two interviews.
@@BemaSeatAcademy You read my mind, exactly my thoughts! 😉❤️
I've seen the Dr. Ramani interviews. They're brilliant 🤗
Agree, but I'd add Richard Grannon to the duo.
@@SurvivingNarcissism love you Doc! I've seen em! I meant as a roundtable! Thank you for all you do, you are helping me survive a devastating discard
This made me cry. I grew up with a narcissist mother, married a narcissist man and I have spent my life beating myself up.
Fabulous interview! 🙏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏Please keep these coming! Everything Tim says is so valuable to so many who are suffering with low self esteem due to childhood trauma and neglect specially veterans who gave everything to their country and our suffering, terribly with war wounds, emotional trauma, and challenging relationship situation to no fault of their own
The beginning of the research for understanding PTSD was because of war veterans although at first they called it shell-shock after WWI.
Before that, the first psychologists were writers. I guess that's why I have always been fond of Dostoevsky's books. The portraits of the characters of his books are magnificent.
Tim has absolutely changed my life and contributed to my healing in the last year. I’ve been searching for years - and no one has articulated my experience, symptoms, and solution like he has. To say I am deeply grateful for the transformative power of his understanding and ability to communicate CPTSD is an understatement. Sincerely, Emily
Quite the discovery, wasn't it? I feel the same. It was Patrick Teahan who caught my eye in the first place. But Tim and Dr C followed soon after. All these people do a stalwart job. I love them so much for it.
When I left an abusive relationship, someone called him a narcissist. I'd never heard of the word. I researched it and quickly found out that not only was he one, but my father was too. I was 47 yrs old when I found this out. I literally had a mental break and cptsd for 2 years afterwards. It broke open my world in the most catastrophic way. Thankfully, by listening to these interviews, I don't feel alone, or crazy.
You are not alone although people with cptsd isolate ourselves and it reminds me of a sentence about introverts; united introverts, which sounds like an oxímoron.
We are not crazy, we are wounded and there are a whole bunch of people who are too but they don't know it yet and unfortunately, we can't even help them because it will be triggering for them and they will deny it. For some unknown reason; not everyone has reached rock bottom and we can't even advise them. Luckily, you paid attention to what that person said to you but that doesn't happen for everyone.
I wish therapists would talk more about what happens when two people with cptsd get together because it can feel like a war zone, no matter how much both of them need the company.
7 months free from the narcissist, still healing, I have a lot of anger, and when someone is just a little disrespectful I'm immediatly angry, and tell them that they have no respect😢😢
Me too. And I get so angry about the people on the street. They are so disrespectful.
When I divorced my ex, I took to social media to explain to friends and family that the marriage never worked out bc my ex is emotionally immature but I don't blame him bc of the generational trauma in his family (I'm not explaining this to one person at a time). My ex-FIL asked me what my "motives" were. So glad I left that family because EVERYTHING they did had a motive; nothing was unconditional. I blocked everyone on that side of the family since and only contact my ex about our children.
Completely brilliant, just about everything I’d want said is here, so I’ll be recommending this one!! Only one small point: there are a range of long term problematic behavioural outcomes with c-ptsd, not just addiction, or taking on the narcissism of a seeming narcissistic parent, or the heartlessness of a (ceo-type) psychopathic parent. There are others, most notably dissociation and social withdrawal.
I expect those will be among the 60 characteristic results they mentioned 🙂
Thank you so much, fellas.
“Developing fake intimacy” this is so insightful !
The man Tim Fletcher who has changed my life ..As well as Dr.Carter 😊
He knows what he's talking about!
Yes, he does!! God ordained work you both have !
Wow. My 2 favorite guys to listen to on one video! Great work both of you! I have learned so much from you both. I am single and happy. So glad you two connected! God bless you both!
Two of my favorite teachers on CPTSD. SO appreciated!
Thank you so much. ❤
My two favorite OGs, thanks Les & Tim!
Thank you so much for having Tim Fletcher on your channel! He is THE voice of how to recover from CPTSD. Thousands have healed under his wise guidance and programs.
Tim Fletcher was incredible for me at the beginning of my CPTSD healing journey. Saved me during a 9 month wait for therapy and continues to inform and encourage me to this day. Great stuff from you both, thanks.
Dr Carter I cannot thank you enough for this video!! Your guest Tim Fletcher was extremely informative and helpful!! 🙌🕊️🕊️🕊️
Glad it was helpful, Julie. He was a good guy!
Good morning, how very helpful!
Thank you Dr. Carter, I love Tim Fletcher and his work. His videos have helped me very much over the years and I really enjoyed this interview!! 💗
I enjoyed my time with him as well!
My first trauma was being repeatedly being molested by an older cousin, he tortured small animals, and then not being treated, coupled with not receiving the nurturing I needed,
That was only the beginning
Big traumas, I resonate with everything you're saying Tim
Just been through it with an online scammers, narcissistic romance, and I am shattered
You deserved none of that. You deserve DRC...dignity, respect, civility. That's what we stand for here on #TeamHealthy.
Love seeing these two great men collabing, looking forward to seeing Tim this Saturday!
Tell him I said hi!
Those definitions of trauma were crystal clear.
This was so incredibly helpful!! Thank you both for providing helpful, meaningful content on trauma healing!
So pleased!
Tim Fletchers work and his react friday nights have become one of the leaders for people in this field. I shared Tim’s work with my own therapist who works with complex trauma and that opened new doorways for the entire group. I’m an adult survivor and complex trauma is part of who I am. However , the react program has been an essential tool for me and others to help us to better understand ourselves and the people all around us better. I know that that re-act Friday nights are about the best series for any recovering person of abuse, neglect, and deep emotional and spiritual trauma. Thank you both for your work. I subscribe to both your channels. Aloha from Hawai’i too.
This is so insightful and feels true. I am observing this unraveling right now in my life.
Thank you Tim Fletcher and Dr. Carter! This was a wonderful program and I so appreciate how clearly I can understand how CPTSD and Narcissism is explained here. Thank you both!
Glad it was helpful!
2 of my favorite men together! Love it!
What helped me was doing a deep dive into the core narratives from childhood. The messages of "I'm not good enough", "I'm not innocent", "I'm a failure," "I need to please these people or they'll abandon me," etc. We all have some sort of these. Realizing that these messages are not who we are is key. I like that mindfulness book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniels when I need to rebalance.
Oh My Gosh ... Mr. Tim and Dr. C ....this is so amazing !!! Thank you 🙏 both of you.
I love these two men, and Dr Ramani 💝 thank you for all you do and share.
Thank you so much to the both of you for this, Absolutely tremendous, I've been off alcohol nearly 5years and working on my inner state, Healing is beautiful and I can recognize unhealthy easier now, I'm not letting anyone interfere with my healing journey, Peace, love and respect to you both, Gu's and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)
Congratulations! I wish I could! It's slowly killing me. A young body handles booze a lot easier, but an older body....the toxins aren't so easily handled anymore. I never liked AA, counselling didn't help either. How did you stop? What helped you?
@@sissi8610 Thank you for your kindness, Much appreciated, :-) It was my will power, determination and strength, I wish you well in your healing and recovery journey, Peace, love and respect to you, Have a pleasant day :-)
I will be listening to this on repeat! So much here to digest! Thank you both, Dr Carter and Tim Fletcher. ❤️🌹✨️
@@Summer_Harvest Me too ❤️
Glad you enjoyed it!
What he's talking about is what happened to me. I have spent my whole life trying to understand some things that happened in my family of origin. This explains a lot and helps me understand both myself and the family I have been so hurt by better. Although they hurt me, I feel such pain in regards to their suffering. I see that they experienced the same things I did. It was passed on and it breaks my heart. This has given me a lot to think about.
Healing help from 2 of the most engaged and expertly skilled folks around. So many takeaways and ah has! Many thanks! Healthy Help Helps!
Wow, 2 of my favorite people coming together for an interview!! Cool
What a treat. Thank you two
Two of the most influential men of our era.
BRAVO! Love Tim Fletcher & listen to him often. His work, like yours, is EXCELLENT! Thank you, Dr. C!
My two favorite men on the internet!
😢
Two of my favorites in one video!!🎉🎉
Great encounter between two wonderful teachers
Yess!! Two great teachers, amazing content.
Brilliant podcast. Really interesting topic
Hello from Kansas City 🌆 Missouri
Blessings from Detroit
Thanks to both of u!!!
Love you into a healthier place ❤❤sounds like a job for God❤
Beyond our pay grade for sure
Thank you for this collab. Super helpful.
The narc will actually ask “what is wrong with me?” Shocking! I thought they will only ask what’s wrong with you? They feel pain and can consciously becoming a reasonable person? How many narcissists have ever turned around by doing any self reflection?
None that I know of TBF.
I’m so so excited to hear this episode! Tim Fletcher is amazing! As are you Dr Carter- the two of you together- outstanding! 1:39
I really like Mr. Fletcher.
I do too
I hope this will be one of many podcasts with both of you !❤ Great information.❤
I would really like to hear Tim Fletcher's take on parental alienation, or induced attachment dysfunctions in divorced families.
The Internet has brought the effect of unresolved pain to our mobile devices. We are literally carrying around the dysfunction of others. Let that sink in.
My childhood was dotted with capital Ts AND lower case ts. My parents shouldn’t have had children, period. Neither of them were equipped for the job. Their parents too were total disasters. 😞 😞 😞
Same here. It was a rollercoaster ride from hell but peppered with stuff that from the outside looked great and extremes of intermittent reinforcement. I acted like pavlovs dogs!
I say they also cause a person not only simple 'not trust' issues but placing trust in the wrong people.
I hit the liked button before even watching the interview! :) I've been watching Dr.C and Tim for the last few years and ....I want to say to both of you ...THANK YOU!!! Putting the videos filled with knowledge and simple, clear approaches helped me beyond the words can express. 3 years of my healing were very productive, thanks to you.
You are quite welcome
I've had people tell me that I need to give myself the same breaks I give other people
@@eph2vv89only1way Indeed. We don't give ourselves enough pats on the back 🧡
My family is from Ontario and Quebec. Hey!!!
My mother was Dx with NPD and she died being a NPD. No matter how much pain she had she never looked at herself!
I have been Dx with Complex-PTSD and blame myself for everything that went wrong in my life.
amazing conversation, thank you
I am suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome. Im just burnt out, I can't recharge i am feeling sick all day everyday. I have no strength.
Such a great interview!
Much food for thought.
What a great dialogue from a great duo of love 💔❤️🩹♥️
@@caroleminke6116 Definitely🕊❤️🩹✨️
So well explained, thank you.
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Many thanks🙏🌷🕊💝🤗
What a dream team ❤
I'm just reeling right now, shattered
Thank you, Dr. C. I actually watched this on the day it was released but haven't had time to comment. Ditto for the other videos released recently. But be sure I'll be circling back and reviewing and checking out Tim Fletcher's website. My husband's insecurities are keeping me very busy right now. Unfortunately, I'm finding that narcs continue to be exhausting even when you're trying to be compassionate. and supportive. I don't sense that he's in a manipulative phase-- just insecure.
Already following both of you 🥳
What a compliment to the Dr.C's teaching.
So very helpful
Glad it was helpful!
Really interesting thank you
I didnt know i even had cptsd until i was told at 52. I just looked at the therapist, kind of stunned. Then i developed ptsd due to surgery gone wrong with a lunatic narcissist surgeon, could even by psychopathic tbh! All before i knew about narcissism. He ruined my life, lied to me before surgery and gaslit me after and the whole hospital via different consultants followed his lead. My family coyldnt be bothered and dont give a damn. Thats how everything from rhe past came back to bute me on the backside. I thought id gotten iver everything. Nope! Id been carrying it like a bag of bricks and everything makes sense now. The anxiety and gad, depression, anger, ocd, body dysmorphia, a period of anorexia. Complex trauma and ongoing danger 👍 thats exactly what it was like, a constant buzzing threat and total lack of safety and nobody to help me. Suicide seemed like a good idea! I believe what saved me is 3 things that stayed in my core from childhood, my imagination and love for shows with characters of honour and integrity, the family dog and love of animals, my grandmother who lived with us temporarily for a few years(though i have no memory of it i feel it! and was close to her at the end of her life when she developed dementia). Once you get the information and work out what happened and where it came from, move through the pain and grief you peel away the toxic layers. Never thought id be hapoy to say that thanks guys so much 👌✌️
This was so good! Tim made me cry when he talked about bringing a parent a cup of coffee metaphor. Was curious about his addiction recovery program, the name(s) again please and under what terms & conditions can garden variety addicts access it/them? Thanks Guys ❤
I've gone to therapist many times, I am so tired, I am 68 now,and I'm looking at being al9ne for ever,because I can't do the people pleaser anymore, I'm tired of trying
I just wanted a healthy relationship, I have lost hope
This was very helpful.
Oh, Dr C stands for DRC, dignity respect and civility! Now that is sweet and clever, I wasn't aware of that. 😊
Looks like someone was having a bunch of ah-hah moments lol good for you Doc.
Where might these "safe'" people be found?? I'm not sure I presently have any in my sphere of relationships.
I think safe in yourself with self trust is the place to start imo rather than trying to find a safe person, like you say whomever that might be
Would love to hear some insight into, hypocrisy - disgust - anger connection.