True Facts: The Ostrich
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- Опубликовано: 16 янв 2020
- Brenda...Where's my egg?
True Facts T-shirts: ze-true-store.myshopify.com/
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CREDITS:
MUSIC:
/ querflote
Footage of the mating ostrich:
Jackson Hart Grady
• Hilarious Ostrich Cour...
Erin Armstrong (the pecking the cam footage at the end)
Adam van Casteren
(for the barbule image)
Three Ring Ranch
(for the Ostrich sound)
Big thanks to all the patreon supporters.
Images and Footage used under
license from:
Shutterstock.com
Pexels
Envato Elements
VideoBlocks
Wikimedia Commons
The Public Domain
Pixnio 
Животные
I refuse to believe that an actual bird laying an actual egg can somehow be *more* obscene than that horrifying substitute.
It was actually a dude spitting out eggs. Unless chickenses have beard stubble :-p
I think we all agree with this sentiment
I'll be honest...I had no idea it wasn't stock footage of a chicken laying an egg the first time I saw it in the episode. I was thoroughly surprised to see it was a human mouth, and only after the hand walked by
I just realized that was a human mouth lol
it surprisingly is, look up chicken laying eggs on youtube
Pretty sure the feather-faced guy spitting out the egg is far more disturbing than the actual egg-laying process.
OMG. I didn't even notice it was a human mouth lolol
You mean Jerry. Yeah.
Imagine how mating would've looked like with that meat socket puppet.
@@avariceseven9443 I've seen the uncensored versions of the elephant male and female hyena. I really don't want the ostrich version stuck in my grey matter as well.
I think.. That's the point?
"Why? Why the OstrieESCHh? "
Haha idk what happened but I love that
I was looking for that comment!! 😂😂😂 that inflection was hilarious
lmao that was my favourite part of the video 😂😂😂
03:35
😂😂
But why?
"side ostrich out of your league too-ahh" was absolutely brilliant
I just realized that's someone spitting out an egg...
And I can't stop laughing 😂😂
Jerry needs a raise
It took the third take for me to get it lol.
@@alandgomez5905 took the outtakes for me lol
@@twilightsparkle75 You gotta love these guys efforts 😁.
You left out the best part about the ostrich: Ostrich farmers have to stay well away and out of sight when it is mating season, or else the ostrich will start doing its mating dance in front of them. Why? Because ostriches find humans more attractive than other ostriches. "Remember, no matter how ugly you may think you are, to an ostrich, you're the sexiest thing on two legs."
What a self esteem boost this gave me.
Really?
That’s why they have small brains
@@silascoley7331 the first comment boosted me up and yours brought me back down to solid sand. I mean ground. What a roller coaster hahahaha
anibody wantu pluck my duck
The similes in this are outstanding:
“Like Segway tried to reinvent the horse”
“Like chilli con carne in a snow-globe”
“Like riding a tricycle through a mosh pit”
Similes, not metaphors.
@@UnitSe7en, I couldn't help but think...
"That's a terrible metaphor."
"Yeah well it's a simile, so..."
I'm actually super stoked that ostriches can't fly. Imagine what that would be like.
I'd imagine it would be horrible if one crapped on someone's car...
Horrific😂
*flight of the Valkyries starts playing in the background*
On the other hand, look at those drumsticks! Turkeys are shamed. 😆
Or worse, cassowaries
So I just realized the egg was coming out of his mouth not an ostrich.
If you have ever seen an egg coming out of a cloaca, its was damn close!
Wendy Austin hell yea. I thought that what I was looking at until I read this comment
@@TreeFreak As someone who has had chickens, it WAS a very close representation
I was sure it was the real deal too, till the "bloopers".
Ain't that hilariously disgusting?
Jerry's imitation is horrifyingly accurate to be honest
I thought it was the real thing until the second time I saw it.
I just wondered how he did it and with what part of his body until the second time I saw the lips
That was awesome.
For anybody who wishes to be newly horrified: 2:51
I have seen this like 10 times, but just noticed that it was a mouth. Ja
"The egg emerges from the female's cloaca, a multipurpose - what is that, a smoothie?"
Lmao
do one on the Emu, and don't forget to mention the Emu war.
Spoiler: the Emu won.
Plus they can get some nice new feather hats. Uhhh, did I say feather hats? I mean I want to... -gether chat! With you!
@@gangrenousgandalf2102 Lol
oversimplified reference
No. The Emu won the battle but lost the war.
Once public bounties were placed on the Emus their populations sharply declined.
Errrrr I’m guessing there’s more to this story 🤔
I did an entire presentation on the emu war for my War and Conflict class
Educating people while entertaining them, because that's how the zefrank dooooo.
Now I need a video on True Facts about ZeFrank.
I can hear him say this
@@FarrTheFox Narrated by Morgan Freeman
W Chandra we need this in life
Imagine if you had the ability to translate your foibles into humorous inspiration for others, awkward but unprecedentedly poignant... and also you said baby like “behBEH.”
That is how a ZeFrank do.
This kind of roasting is why ostriches beat people up
@mr Banana The second war birbs would win and this time by a lot ._.'
Yeah, but roasted ostrich is so tasty, especially when cooked on a Big Green Egg.
Speaking of Emu War, one does wonder how the emus are doing, considering recent wild fires...
@Sam Bacon in other words, roasted koala?
Tae Kwan Leap.
“Brenda, where’s my egg?”
“I don’t know did you lose it?”
I’ve lost most of mine. It happens. I’m 46.
“...like an AT-ST Walker....”
Me: 😂
“...if you speak hyper-nerd.”
Me: 😑😑😑
LOL !
HAH, GOT EM
Oh.... i'm owning that
"Yes, i speak Hypernerd"
I'm not the biggest Star Wars fan but even I got that. Not sure if I should feel proud or disappointed. Maybe both.
@@ElysetheEevee Yes, both.
“Being a small animal on the ground was a bit like riding a tricycle in a mosh pit”
Poetry.
I loved moshing when I was younger. I wish I'd thought of that then.
BANZAAAAIIII...!
"Like a snow globe filled with chili con carne, it's wings are useless."
Better than Shakespeare
Jerry needs a raise for his passionate and hard work.
Geo Leo I’m pretty sure that’s just Frank talking to himself since Jerry is never credited, which is so much funnier
@@rooboo3387 Or... He could be a manifestation of Jerry's subconscious as a second persona, one being more frisky and unprofessional.
@Andrew Humphrey He's sacrificed his dignity for this one, so let's give him some credit on that.
this was his finest hour, although making outer space out of tardigrade poop was great too
Thanks guys 😀
"At times, the ostrich may look like the makers of The Dark Crystal ran out of supplies and had to glue floor sweepings onto a starving chicken."
That's criminally funny, and now i can't unsee this
Agreed. I laughed way too hard at it and replayed it a good three or four times
Came to say this
When the first egg-laying scene happened, I thought it might've been some other bird. Then, the second time, I realized it was a mouth. I'm dying! XD
Well done, Jerry. Well done.
The Ostrich is actually just Flamingo that used drugs
junkie flamingo
@Toori Baba flamboyant, not necessarily gay
I'd say the contrary 🤔 or like two very different kinds of drugs
@@mayart2688 one is kiwi on LSD and other is kiwi on steroids
Flamingos on steroids
Lol, only in the end I noticed the "ostrich laying the egg" scene was fake. Very well interpreted
Holy crap I had to go back and rewatch it
I legit thought his stubbly chin was just like a weird plucked hen belly what is wrong with me, man's a genius
He said it was fake
Recovering Soul r/whoosh
@@gemini__inimeg5317 go back to 2018
@@_Eric._ stfu normie
“Why the ostrICH?” At 3:36 gets my vote for voice work of the year. Takes a simple simple line and magics it into funny.
"Why the ostrii..ich?" Something I ask myself every night before falling asleep.
RUclips: no, you can't show ostrich laying egg
Jerry: Don't worry, I got this
Jerry needs a raise 😂😂
Jerry casually cracks his fingers and grabs the entire craft drawer of feathers and glue
@@hoopthornseaweed It's "GLEEU."
Austin Lucas 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol that egg was coming out of a mouth
The amount of effort Jerry put to get his pay is outstanding
Wtf it was at 666 who liked it
Jerry doesn't get paid. Jerry does what he can so he gets to live another day.
Ostriches are honestly amazing for their gigantism alone, but imagine if giants like the Elephant Bird or the Moa were still around (which I only recently found out are two groups of different lineage and geographic origin). The Moa is actually seemingly the only bird to completely lose even its vestigial wings, meaning it was basically just a huge body with a neck and some legs attached. I can't believe we'll never get to see one in person.
"Or stick it's thumb in a pumpkin and still tickle a kitten!" JESUS! I'M CRYING!
That took me awhile to get! Hahah
"Why? Why the Ostriiiiich?"
That pronunciation made me spit out my tea.
GentlemanPenguin I want that to be my ring tone and morning alarm forever
Are you a roadman
Your not suppose to say it with a mouth full of tea.....😁
wait, throughout the whole video, or is there s specific instance? I missed it.
@@Broockle 3:35
Because of zefrank, I've learned more about animal genitalia than I ever would have wanted to learn... about animal genitalia.
The video with the duck genitalia still haunts me...
lavendermagic84 me too my friend....me too....and I live in a lake town in Florida....so see the bastards all the time.
Because that is how the zefrank do
OK, Jerry
@@thehiddenninja3428 Oh man, you beat me!
The pumpkin line went over 99% of people’s heads, but don’t worry, I spent 20 seconds laughing my ass off.
It almost went over my head but then I was like.... waaaaaaait a minute...
I honestly couldn’t even make out what he was trying to say. I rewatched that part a good five times and was annoyed that there was no captions available for this video, so that wouldn’t help me figure out what he was saying either.
Can you tell me what he said there?
@@xavier12321
My question to the OP applies to you too. :)
@@anti-ethniccleansing465 He said... that it could '' Stick it's thumb into a pumpkin and still tickle a kitten'', which translates to... well, if you don't get it, you'll get it someday.
This reminded me of the cartoon show, Ed Eddn Eddy, where one of the boys, named Rolf, insulted the ed boys by saying "your bush is overgrown and your cucumbers are soft!!" Which as a kid goes over your head, but as an adult 🤣🤣🥴
My dad was once attacked by an ostrich at a zoo. It took his glasses by pokey pokey him and my dad, being terribly nearsighted without glasses frantically crawled into the fence to retrieve it. It was a whole scene.
“A very well greased AT-ST if you speak hyper-nerd”
I do indeed, and I can’t decide if I’m offended
You could put a bird wang on an AT-ST and it would upset my headcanon less than the last two Star Wars movies.
I felt a bit like Captain American in the first Avengers movie. "I did. I got that reference."
Our kind are not offended
@@tamlandipper29 lol
You are not offended.
People are afraid of spiders when they really should be afraid of this bootleg dinosaur that can outrun you with ease
See, the thing is, I've never found an ostrich running along my wall at a speed that should not be possible at its size.
The other day, my friend stepped on a spider and he died.
Sorry, i meant the spider died.
@@Calabryn a local farmer had two of them when I was a child (don't ask why) and that scarred me forever
Cassowaries are the scariest ones . They look like something straight out of a dinosaur book and they're known to attack people.
@@FlutterMouse thank goodness I'm from Central Europe then
I saw this immediately after the ostrich mating dance video, in which the poorly made sock puppet filled with sausage was NOT censored. I was expecting to be double traumatized, I've never been so grateful for a censor in my life.
“Why, the Ostriiiiiiich?”
I would be thrilled if we get a True Facts: Jerry some day
Yes.
Please, please, please!
Jerry is a metaphor for all the Davids in Ze’s videos (my headcanon).
Edit: Maybe David is a metaphor for Jerry.
This is too much; I must pee on the bed... for comfort.
Well. Lets start sending Ze some facts about Jerry's we all know!
@@beachgirl4583 Yes. And like the Morgan Freeman episode I think we're owed both a Jerry and a David episode. This is why we should submit photos, footage and definitions of Jerrys and Davids.
"It can still stick it's thumb in a pumpkin and still tickle a kitten"
I'm sorry, what? Wanna run that by me again?
I first heard the whole thing as "...stick its thumb in a pumpkin and still tickle a kitten from a distance."
I was even more lost!
Is it a sex thing? I feel like it's a sex joke
absurdlynerdy that would make a lot of sense actually
Thumb in butt, other finger tickling a "kitty"
Anus and Vulva
“Another interesting thing about the Ostrich, when threatened, they attack.”
Let's be real: Jerry is indeed the MVP on this.
*HOLD UP*
I feel stupid now... I've only realized in the outtro that it was a human mouth squeezing out a chickens egg 😭😂😂
😂😂😂😂
Same lmfao
I didn't get it the first time either. lol
Orodon Kassa yup.. you’re stupid
“His body was like this ; but his head was like *THIS* . “
I get that Reference🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Good catch.
3:35 best pronunciation of ostrich ever 😂
4:00
Unironically beautiful and majestic.
Took me way too long to realize it was the guy with feathers taped to his face spitting out the eggs. I’m so dumb lol
Well, this...explains.
You are not dumb. It took me watching it THREE TIMES. And then once I realized there was some razor stubble, I watched it a dozen more.
It’s genius.
It’s even better than the original Ostrich video he did. Can’t believe the Ostrich dick was too much for youtube. Has anyone ever watched a Brazilian Wax How To video on RUclips? Yeah, and the ostrich dick was nixed?
*ahem* Y-yes, that's... clearly Obvious to anyone with functioning eyes. I don't know how anyone could possibly have missed that
Same
@@Jamie_McElroy Penises are inherently evil. Everyone knows that!
“But his side ostriches out of your league too-ah”
Love that he incorporated The Weeknd into a video about ostriches
I flipping died
It was so clever and unexpected
Fr that was *the* highlight of this vid
I LOL'd so hard
@@FrostbiteRep me too. Me too lmao
The Egg Laying re enactment is now my laptop screensaver. Thank you
1:37 oh man, tell me that the ostrich's dance doesn't look like Gina Linetti dancing in Brooklyn 99.
I'm dying
"Well we need footage so you know what you have to do Jerry"
"....is that a smoothie?"
I loved it though it still was weird at first.
Jerry walking in with an ostrich.
Zefrank: What you got there?
Jerry: A smoothie.
This meme is so perfect it's terrifying.
I this we can declare this meme retired. It will never be more relevant or perfect.
😂😂💀💀
I lived in north GA as a kid and this guy had this random ostrich farm on the side of the road . I used to always go watch them for hours . They’re so goofy
1:10 "The ostrich can look like a dinosaur."
Well, birds are dinosaurs, aren't they?
Fun fact: some ostriches are more attracted to humans than other ostriches. Some will only do their mating display for male humans, while some will only do it for female humans.
For real? 😕
That's odd.
They’re reverse furries
please tell me ur joking lmao
@@goldenretreevee3409 skinnies?
Horny I am
Realizing ive never really looked at an ostrich's foot
Their feet are better adapted for bipedal running than ours.
*I've
r/showerthoughts
RIght!?! Who knew they only had 1 talon?
Tell me that dry scaly jurassic ground stamper didn't belong to a dinosaur at some point in the past...
After watching every episode of True Facts, I have concluded that Jerry is either a voice in Ze's head, or ventriloquist dummy along the lines of Conkey on Trailer Park Boys.
Such excellent wildlife photography catching the egg being layed like that! Funnily enough it made my cheeks (in my face) sore watching that!
“But his side ostriches out of your league too aHh”
What a nice reference he did lol
HyperBen What’s the reference?
@@schisandra it's a song by The Weekend, Starboy
Finally i found this comment. Sucks that i'm not the one to write it lol😂😂
When he said this I died laughing!
Just realized I’d never seen a baby ostrich before
@Oggatha Christie cutest bird baby so far that I have seen.
they work for the bourgeoisie
Same. It popped up and I was shocked.
Same as you've never seen a baby seagull. Think about it?
I mean who really has?
I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard, thank you, thank you very much, the way they look when they do the mating dance was hilarious and your narrative is down pact.
Peace to you
So that was Jerry's mouth...
No wonder Ostriches like human faces-
As one who is fluent in Hypernerd, I appreciate that joke.
Could you explain it to me? I understood every word except for the name of that device.
@@Chad_Eldridge AT ST: All Terrain Scout Transport from Star Wars
4-6.
@@mavvh1054
Oh, so that's what they're called...
Greetings fellow nerd
Ha nerds !!!!!
Imagine being 5 feet tall, with 10 feet long legs, then try to jump across gaps while flapping your arms like they are nothing more than wet pasta.
That is how the ostrich do.
I mean couldn’t they just walk it with those damn legs
He should have mentioned ostrich kicks straight annihilated predators and Human vehicles
The next time I'm hungover, that how I will do.
So am I 5 feet tall or 10 feet tall? Or 15 feet tall?
The Golden Sealion,
Your pfp says you’re a sheep.
You should make a video about the Kakapo!
It’s an endangered night-dwelling parrot on New Zealand that can’t fly, and just runs around on the ground, and they’re _amazing._
They look like fluffy green potatoes ✨😌
"... like riding a tricycle in the moshpit" is hands down the best analogy I ever hear!!
The egg laying segment is more likely to get flagged than the real thing.
True Facts: Kiwi. THEY ARE THE SIZE OF BASKETBALLS.
and are great substitutes for them as well
*throws from 3 point line*
Yeet
I thought they were the size of kiwis
I had no idea New Zealanders were that tiny!
HUH?!
Around 3:01 there's a weird green bar. Use your comma and period keys, you can see it. Weird.
"His side ostriches outta your league too, ah" killed me omg
“A sock puppet filled with pork meat” will haunt me forever.
MADE of pork meat
He’s a meet puppet a meat puppet a puppet of meat
That's how I will describe porn scenes forever.
Yeah, it kind of puts me off porkchops for dinner tonight. But then again, I've seen horses mate; HOLY GODS, I sure hope the mares enjoy that, because aaaaaaargh.
Watched the precual not far off
The ostrich is also the only bird that urinates and defecates separately
@Trash King the Mighty Ruler of Garbage Town Ty, very good
Don’t ducks also?
Really? So it doesn't just have urea expulsion, but actually has a distinct bladder?
Are you saying that other birds poo, pee, and make sweet, sweet love all in a single, magical orifice known as the cloaca?
@@K9River yes, all other berds do all the dirty shit from the same hole.
"Why the ostrIIIICH?"
I lose sleep every night trying to figure it out too....
1:22
I appreciate this reference massively.
"But his side ostriches out of your league too, ah."
Omfg god dude I was crying, I love you man
I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT
I don’t understand lol
@@1997jankuschef From Starboy by The Weeknd - Main bitch out your league too, ah
Side bitch out of your league too, ah
I was going crazy trying to find anyone else who caught this.
Zefrank is a fever dream, I needed confirmation I hadn't imagined the Weeknd as an ostrich.
“ side ostrich out of your league too ah” 💀 nice the weeknd reference
Finally !
Yes!!
i caught that too
Yes
Perfect
i don’t think you realize how long it took for me to realize that the egg laying clip was actually a person....,,
You're not alone... and now I can't unsee it. AAAAAAHHHH! He put an egg into his **mouth**!? OK, OK brain, chill. American and Canadian chicken farms wash their eggs, somewhat. It's why they need to be refrigerated. Washing removes the protective coating from the shell that prevents rapid decay. Still, eww...
IT WAS WHAT?
"Funny" is too small a word. Ze,your work is the best thing to listen to stoned since Firesign Theater. I intend that as high praise.
i wonder how many zefrank people even know what you’re talking about. some probably don’t even know what Monty Python’s Flying Circus was/ is - which is much too weird to contemplate! :) 😋🌷🌱
Ze Frank, When are we getting a True Fact: The Ze Frank?
What about True Facts: The Jerry
@@wesleybird880 That, too, but let's start with the Wild Ze Frank first. Jerry can wait.
We already did, from SuperCarlinBrothers: ruclips.net/video/bdTvRekbKuM/видео.html
"ze" is already an alteration of "the", so it's not "the ze frank", it's "ze frank"
but please no cloaca
Well, we already know how the ostrich do the do
To better understand this statement, imagine....disco.
THAT is how an ostrich do.
Imagine making a sock puppet out of pork meat. And you are bad about making sock puppets.
"Main ostrich out of your league too ahh
Side ostrich out of your league too ahh"
So, I’ve watched a chicken lay an egg, and by golly, Jerry got it spot on. Well done, Jerry.
I can't explain why the line "But why? Why the Ostriiiich?" makes me laugh so much but it just does.
Same, i was looking for this comment lol
timestamp please
3:35
i love that part so much 😂
It sounds more like “ostriiidge.” :)
"I don't think he thought that through"
The ostrich: oh yes i did
*ymca song plays*
2:31 loved the Starboy reference😂
I am So happy to have discovered this. What a narrative. And the editing. Excellent work.
“But his side ostriches out of your league too ah” 😂
Side note: Has he done the Shoebill? Because that another interesting prehistoric looking bird.
E L shoebills also look like they came from the dark crystal
Not yet. I think this is one of the first bird videos, actually
@@weysal7131 Shoebills aren't real. They are, in fact, actually all muppets.
This cracked me up because it is a reference from The Weeknd's Starboy song. 😂😂
@@nulllex0099 I believe that he did a video on owls way back
"But why the Ostriiich"
This had me laughing so hard, I cried!!
Me too😂
i dunno why its stuck in my head in a loop
not complaing though ....
Why? Why the corona?
Jerry's homemade egg-laying footage was amazing.
Ostriches are both elegant and clumsy but still look good
"Sometimes people may expect you to fly but if you see an opportunity to run instead, you run as fast and hard as you can until your the fastest thing on two legs. Who gives a crap what people expect of you?" - Ostrige 2020
How did you edit this comment and still spell "ostrich" wrong when it's literally in the video title? I'm dying lmao (but also yes, that line made me smile)
@@otterpoppin they probably misspelled it wrong on purpose because that sounds exactly like how ZeFrank would say "ostrich", like "bebe"
That is how the ostrich do.
@@kdarkwynde this is my life’s moto now.
This could be a quote mistaken in Bojack Horseman
Could you imagine if Ostriches could fly? Like we'd just randomly see flocks of Ostriches flying over head. Man, that'd be terrifying and awesome!
Not if they all decided to go to the bathroom.......omg!
Once upon a time, a few dozen million years ago, giraffe sized animals took to the skies. THAT must've been scary
If they could fly we'd definitely be riding them.
It'd be like in Donkey Kong Country where they'd "fly" by slowly gliding until they'd reach the ground, and then leap up into the air again and continue gliding once more
@@davefaust7317 Shit ya
2:31 about the side ostrich was the cleanest transition to a music reference about The Weekend I've ever seen in a nature documentary
I am a biology nerd, and I love your videos!! You keep me laughing!
"Who gives a crap about what people expect of you?" Words to live by.
Yes, I'm sure Hitler stood by that philosophy quite well.
Nice speculation. Can you back it up at all?
@@Brigand231
What I mean is that there's a balance between caring too much and too little about what other people say. Some people care too much and end up getting paranoid because they try to please everybody, but can't and some people have really dumb expectations. Other people care too little and don't listen to legitimate criticism that they should listen to in order to improve their performance of such and such a thing. It's all about balance.
@@Chad_Eldridge Gotcha, and you're right. Sociopaths DGAF. lol
@@Chad_Eldridge I agree
"Like a snow globe filled with Chile con Carne".... why are you like this 1:40
🤣
Because… that's how Frank do
I'm gonna go with Childhood Trauma and an "Uncle Jerry" incident
ZeFrank, master of the obtuse simile.
I was actually crying with laughter after the snowglobe mental picture.
Yes, ostriches, nature's floppy ballerinas! We need one on kakapos, kiwis, and the dinosaur murder birb, the cassowary.
"If you speak hypernerd" That was gold.
“They’re not great at insults. They have a tiny brain.” I related to that one.
@@TyinAlaska yes, Tyler, that was the joke, tyler
Before he said that I was thinking that was a dumb insult lmao
@@TheJerbol apparently you and Tyler both thought that
"Why the ostriiiich?"
I don't know why but this killed me
The tone of it was phenomenal :'D
TheJerbol haha, right? And “the beiurd.”
3:35
“Why, why the ostrEiCh?”
Props to Jerry for his dedication to the craft😂✌🏻
Loved this documentary of Dee.