The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I am feeling the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
The only one I have to deeply disagree with is the second part of number 3. As someone who has had ocd mostly purely mentally, or "Pure-O" as they call it, it's not the "pop-in" thoughts that I struggle with - it's fixating and ruminating about ANY thought. ie your mind puts too much importance on "solving" something, and the longer you spend thinking about it, the more it has to be "solved", leading you to an endless cycle of rumination, as your mind keeps finding holes in your solutions or reasoning. So it works the same really as any physical compulsions, only mentally. Encouraging people to engage with anxious thinking will only entrench them further - acceptance is the only way to break the vicious cycle.
I find Pure O latches onto anything and everything too...even real life past events. However, I question whether I should really call it Pure O as I do have a compulsion to confess my thoughts and ask for reassurance from others.
@@AlisonBryen Exactly - I don't think it's really important what we catgorise it as (I think it's more for therapists trying to clarify it). That's what I've found to be consistent of "ocd" - it's a pattern of anxious thinking that is an exaggeration of the norm. I don't think of it as a solid "disorder" so much as disordered thinking. It's an unhealthy coping mechanism that our minds have developed in response to extreme or chronic stress, which is so hard to break when those neural pathways get so entrenched. our minds initially perceive a threat/thought/concept/anything as catastrophic/unacceptable, and so we have an irresistible urge to solve or neutralise it. The problem is, the more we pay attention to it, the more it sends a positive feedback loop to our brains that the "threat" IS important and needs to be solved. Hence our brains keep checking for "mistakes", or holes in our logic - just like with physical compulsions. The only way for the primitive amygdala in our brains to stop being triggered is to stop feeding it, by accepting all of the feelings and not trying to neutralise them. It's the only way it learns it's not needed, and eventually you won't even have to think about it anymore.
@@EllieHawkes haha i appreciate that you found it to be a summary! so hard putting it into words that don't go pages long, hey! 😅 it's SO key, and it's the strangest thing putting it into practise and experiencing yourself desensitising to things you used to be affected by.
Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about solutions, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering. Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron
This was validating. Most of the therapy I've been offered is CBT, and it's only ever made things worse but the blame is always put on me for not trying hard enough to break free from negative thoughts
This lady here seems to really get it. My spouse and children all have autism (the world calls them high functioning but...) and every therapist has tried way too hard to make cognitive behavioral therapy work for them. After nearly 20 years and 8 therapists we finally quit. Why continue beating that dead horse, and paying to do it? One of my kids is now seeing a physical therapist with amazing results. This adult child is finally becoming able to identify how emotions are making the body feel and NOW we're beginning to make progress! So it seems like the other therapists all had the cart before the horse which killed the horse they continued beating and blaming the horse for being dead. Expensive failures. Expensive trauma. Expensive waste of energy.
I would recommend Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It has helped me start to work with my Pure O/real life event OCD as it teaches you to disengage with your thoughts, whilst at the same time becoming more accepting of the unpleasant feelings those thoughts generate.
@@AlisonBryen "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" That is CBT, it is third wave of CBT. And it stills have self pathology inside is, like CBT. ACT tells us as CBT that we are hallucinating our fears and anxieties, and that toxic people do not exist. The correct therapy is Humanistic psychology. Humanistic therapies.
Emma, I am so thankful for you. I learn so much from your videos. Not only do you communicate knowledge and facts, but you do it in a way that is caring, warm, and conversational. With every video, I feel the love you have for your profession and your audience. Thank you for all that you do!
Again thank you so much for your amazing videos. For someone who can’t afford therapy, I can’t tell you how appreciative I am for your time in offering these sessions for free. 🙏🤗
Emma, I absolutely love your videos. It’s so rare to find someone online offering practical and reassuring advice rather than just telling people what’s ‘wrong’ with them. With so much content out there that potentially exacerbates our emotional struggles it’s great to always be able to recommend your channel safe in the knowledge the advice will always be helpful. 😊
I bought the intrusive thoughts course in September after a particularly rough episode that somewhat cost me a relationship. The material addressed the bulk of my decades-long problem in a week.
What you said about the '2 types of thoughts' at 05:00 was completely correct. You. CAN'T stop thoughts from coming into your head, but you CAN decide not to engage with them after they've arrived. The first one is passive that happens without your input, the second one is active and completely within your control.
"Someone with OCD may feel actual guilt for a crime they didn't commit" - this is so true. Where were these assuring words when I needed them the most? I am curious why we choose to act in these irrational ways when we have all the facts that prove us otherwise. It just does not make sense and it's so frustrating! I also sometimes feel like there could be a lack of confidence in ourselves and this can lead to self-doubt and OCD behaviours. I personally ruminate a lot about that. CBD did not work for me, it actualy made me feel worse for the most part (I still learned helpful things from it).
Came here because the last few hours I have been ruminating and re-acting my last steps to try and remember for sure on something. I am staying in a homeless hostel and had to have a room inspection by staff. I have social anxiety and insecurity right now. I still rely on wearing a face mask due to this and wearing a bandana and a comfort scarf round my neck. Due to previous staff bullying me at this hostel I tend to record my interactions with staff on my iPhone so I did this before they I let them in my room. I think I put my bandana on, face mask and my comfort scarf round my neck opened my room window and curtain before letting them in Long story short AFTER they came and left I started worrying if my mask was on when they were in my room and then if my bandana and comfort scarf was on when they were in my room. I wear it due to insecurity and social anxiety. The thought only happened after they left as I locked my room door (I tend to remove my face mask first by default) but then quickly at the same time closed the window and curtain with one hand. As I was closing the window I started to have the intrusive thought was my face mask off the whole interaction? And now I’m just noticing? I kept checking and re-listening to the recording on my iPhone to keep trying to hear if I was putting things on and even re-enacting it all over again to get myself to stop. Then the thought changed to did I have my bandana on and scarf on? Did the staff secretly film me whilst being in my room without my mask, bandana and comfort scarf on Because my window and curtain was up did the neighbours see me looking rough? The thought only happened after they left as I shut the window covering my face with one hand. I don’t remember taking the mask off after they left even though by default I always remove my mask first when alone in my room and I must of been on autopilot mode because I also locked my room door and placed a barricade over my door but don’t remember doing so. I feel like I want to ask the staff in question next hostel check but I know this will probs make it worse Last time this happened my thoughts were not true because I had visual proof and someone told me it was not true that I did have my comfort scarf on when talking to them Yesterday I couldn’t sleep and even had a nightmare about it
It might be a small detail but I really appreciate you adding the list of points to the description. Love your channel and content, bless you for the work you do 🙏❤️
OCD is a coping mechanism with stress for me. Not all my anxiety is OCD related, some of it is jsut plain old anxiety. But what you have to realize is that it's really a way of your ego trying to control things. And you have to just sit down and tell yourself it really doesn't matter in the long run what thoughts I have, these thoughts aren't me they are clouds that float by and I am the sky.
sometimes i have thoughts that i feel like i need to go back or think about again, or think the opposite of them as a punishment for originally even putting conscious thought or effort, I find that when i just let my mind flow subconsciously my body feels more calm, the trick is to be aware of the anxiety and drop the thinking completely, the thinking just tosses you in loops like finding a needle in a haysack and is quite literally painful on both the body and mind! If you let go, you will most likely feel anxiety, but understand that's the treatment and the cure!
This is so true for suicidal ocd. by definition, having a thought about killing yourself, is suicidal ideation. but the fact that you’re so afraid and you’d never do it means you aren’t suicidal psychologically. it just makes it even worse to worry about harming yourself or keeping control. Sometimes I’m so scared that I’ll compulsively kill myself out of control that I’ll just be frozen. it helps to go for a run or practice meditation.
I've been suffering from Real Event OCD real bad with constant reassurance seeking and confessing stuff from the past. Medication and therapy have been helpful, though some thinking patterns resurface from time to time
Came here because the last few hours I have been ruminating and re-acting my last steps to try and remember for sure on something. I am staying in a homeless hostel and had to have a room inspection by staff. I have social anxiety and insecurity right now. I still rely on wearing a face mask due to this and wearing a bandana and a comfort scarf round my neck. Due to previous staff bullying me at this hostel I tend to record my interactions with staff on my iPhone so I did this before they I let them in my room. I think I put my bandana on, face mask and my comfort scarf round my neck opened my room window and curtain before letting them in Long story short AFTER they came and left I started worrying if my mask was on when they were in my room and then if my bandana and comfort scarf was on when they were in my room. I wear it due to insecurity and social anxiety. The thought only happened after they left as I locked my room door (I tend to remove my face mask first by default) but then quickly at the same time closed the window and curtain with one hand. As I was closing the window I started to have the intrusive thought was my face mask off the whole interaction? And now I’m just noticing? I kept checking and re-listening to the recording on my iPhone to keep trying to hear if I was putting things on and even re-enacting it all over again to get myself to stop. Then the thought changed to did I have my bandana on and scarf on? Did the staff secretly film me whilst being in my room without my mask, bandana and comfort scarf on Because my window and curtain was up did the neighbours see me looking rough? The thought only happened after they left as I shut the window covering my face with one hand. I don’t remember taking the mask off after they left even though by default I always remove my mask first when alone in my room and I must of been on autopilot mode because I also locked my room door and placed a barricade over my door but don’t remember doing so. I feel like I want to ask the staff in question next hostel check but I know this will probs make it worse Last time this happened my thoughts were not true because I had visual proof and someone told me it was not true that I did have my comfort scarf on when talking to them Yesterday I couldn’t sleep and even had a nightmare about it
My daughter was dealing with OCD and her counselor suggested Therapy in Nutshell for my husband and I to listen to and learn from. Emma does a great job of breaking down all aspects of Mental illness. We keep coming back to watch and learn more.
Thank you, Emma. As always, very useful content. When I work with OCD, I understand it - first and foremost - as an emotional response to distress. For this reason, cognitive approaches are ineffective first-response interventions. Because emotions precede thinking, attempting to alter OCD thoughts without addressing the underlying emotional distress will be limited in impact. Akin to trying to teach a drowning person to swim. It's not going to work in the heat of an emergency. In the first instance, a person needs help to lower emotional arousal. Once a person is calm, the capacity to utilise cognitive approaches can expand. Thanks again. Dominic : )
For most of my life, I always thought I just had plain old anxiety. I even went to therapy for about a year for it. And it did help but there were some things that just never added up. Until one day my sister came to me and told me that she thinks she has OCD and told me all about pure O and how she matched everything it was saying. My sister and I are very similar and I realized that I too struggled deeply with those same things. I told my therapist about it and she said that she didn’t think I had it but she also said that she’s not specialized in OCD. Meeting with a therapist who believed I just had anxiety when it was really OCD caused me and her to believe my intrusive thoughts were caused by trauma instead of OCD. I later found out that my mom used to have OCD and it makes so much sense now. Your channel is really helping me as a go on this journey of trying to better understand what I have and how to cope with it. 😊
I only developed an anxiety disorder and started to have intrusive thoughts due to a lot of job stress. I eventually changed jobs and like my new job but still find myself ruminating and making myself anxious over the thoughts. It's like once you start to have them they leave their tracks behind and it's hard trying to undo the ruminating.
I remember sobbing on my bathroom floor because my OCD started to tell me that I caused the Italian earthquake of 2009 by stepping on the pavement too heavily...in the middle of England a thousand miles away...
Emma, I have contamination OCD especially focused on feces. It started OUT as a concern about mold and mildew being on things, then the focus shifted to feces. Because we all have an aversion to feces, at least on some level, I am finding it hard to "make friends" with it. When I look at other peoples OCD concerns, THEIR concerns seem irrational, while MY concern makes sense, and so I justify all the handwashing. My thinking is that feces can spread from surface to surface with the slightest touch, like some megavirus, starting with toilet handles. I feel like everyone should exercise the same behavior around feces as I do, that them doing so wouldn't be excessive. When you speak of people who think a speedbump in the road might have been a person, that seems like a physical impossibility. But fecal germs on stuff? Very possible -- but yes, I know, not the end of the world. How can I break the cycle if I genuinely believe what I am doing is right and "normal"? In CBT therapy, this belief of mine was cited as the reason for why ERP was not working with me. I was told the treatable ones believe what they are doing is "crazy" but they just can't stop it.
This is my exact problem with my contamination ocd except its just around all bacteria that can cause illness, especially antibiotic resistance. I have no idea how any form of OCD therapy will help me.
I'm struggling with similar but mine is headline fears. They're real things that are happening in the world, of course I feel like I should do something about them. It's so much easier to laugh off some of my more minor spirals, but that one is my biggest bear because it's a legitimate thing that's happening. It makes it that much harder not to engage the compulsions when you know it's legitimate.
#2 & #3 OOF, I am a Christian. So having the intrusive thought always made me feel like I was the worst possible person. Thank you so much for what you do, your videos help me so much.
I had that before there is really no way around it than to put yourself in situations where it happens time after time and at last it goes away, also try not to fight it and embrace that you are blushing, I know its hard but keep on grinding
I've had this problem for 30 years in every social setting you can imagine and got rid of it in just a few days. The only thing you need to do is make it worse. Instead of telling yourself you don't want to blush say: "I want my head to become as red as possible", "I want everyone to see how red my face can be", "bring it on red face!". I've been doing the opposite for 30 years. Wishing it away, trying to control it. That never works. Just call it out and make it as bad as possible.
Accept it, realize blushing is not killing anyone, it is not predatory, it is not narcissistic tool of abuse, there is no hidden agenda to harm anyone - so there is no pathology inside it.
"definitely helpful as someone who is diagnosed with OCD." Nope. She does not mentions trauma, CPTSD - so it is invalid. IT is half-information, if mislead us into self blame and self pathology - and it does not offer any help how to handle difficult and toxic people who are causing our anxiety and intrusive thoughts - instead it directs us to expose ourselves to criminally insane mentally ill aggressive predators and bullies. CBT ought to be banned, CBT is therapy of errors. "Almost every mental disorder originates in childhood experience and originates as coping mechanism. When you are threatened with something, you would not be anxious, you would be afraid - as you should be." YT Dr. Gabor Mate
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It is possible to feel so responsible for evryting that you cannot do anything and a type of breakdown occurs. This can lead to massive family stigma and zero understanding. All of a sudden we are 'lazy' or 'trying to get away with' This can lead to huge doubt-'am i faking it'
I recently bought a brand new car, and the first day I drove it, I got backed into by a pickup truck and a big scrape on the back of the car. I am stuck in these negative, obsessive loops of thought about how it was all my fault, I should have known better than to park where I did, what if the insurance company of the person who hit me won't cover the damage, what if I get hit again, what if this is all a sign that I made a bad decision, when can the car be fixed, etc etc. It's completely consumed the past entire week of my mental space. I can't stop obsessing and thinking about it/beating myself up over what is essentially nothing in the grand scheme of the world. I know, rationally, that my car will be completely fine, but because my OCD and anxiety are so strong, to me it feels like a catastrophic event for which there is no solution. Even my boyfriend has expressed deep worry about me ever since this happened and has noticed that I'm not eating as much or making decisions as well as before. It's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't struggle with obsessive thoughts, just how imprisoning it can feel, even when you know it's irrational to be THAT upset.
I think the bit with replacing thoughts is something that's causing compulsions within themselves. If it's the thought that you fear, and try to say it's not dangerous (while you feel it is), then you still kind of reassure that's dangerous. But if you said yes, the thought is dangerous, then you'd need to see for yourself that it's actually not (very very hard to do btw). As that's one basis for ERP. Edit: ah, I see you mentioned it later. my bad.
If we react to intrusive thoughts it is like urticaria, skin allergy - the rash will get worse. Even Jung said What you resist, persist. When we focus on our thinking pattern - and label it as sickness and something that other people do not have - we self pathologize ourselves, this destroys our self worth and installs toxic shame. Responsibility for preventing others is codependency issue, stems from trauma, where we were conditioned through criticism to take care of dysregulated adults around us. This is hypnosis - this is not something that is sick, it is reaction to untreated mentally ill people around us. If we make this personal, we will equate our emotions with our personality character. That is called Emotional reasoning. Feelings if guilt stems from toxic people and toxic environment. If we label this as our fault for guilt - we will develop toxic shame. With toxic shame inside us, we will give up ability to trust our decisions - and we will see other people as superior and gods to us, leaving us with people pleasing issues. Ebbinghaus Forgetting Curve will render our techniques and mechanisms useless with time. Therefore nitpicking our thinking patterns leads to nowhere. Mental imbalance is not a car, it is not machine that we can replace with store purchased parts. If we are not evil, if we are not killing people, if we have no evil agenda - there is nothing pathological inside us that requires lobotomy or micromanaging CBT approach. Micromanaging - which CBT profess is path to hypervigilance and more of intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are not personality trait, it is not personal flaw in our character as CBT represent it. If we have cognitive distortions - this is sign we were in trauma toxic environment, and we probably attract toxic people now. Noticing, replacing thoughts is micromanaging. In real life it will not work, it will not help - it will make intrusive thoughts stronger - since we signal our brain that we are sick and abnormal in comparison with dumb people without education. Exposure is awful approach because we will still be in toxic environment and do nothing about it. Instead of recognizing toxic people and cutting contact with them, we will self blame and self hate our reaction to toxic people and end up with crap fitting into abuse and self pathologizing ourselves. With CBT our primary focus will be to nitpick our panic symptoms. We won't be focused on our self worth, our goals in life and doing things we truly want and like. With CBT we will see other people as gods, and we will try to appease others, ending up with external locus of control. Our brain is not broken. CBT will make us believe that we are crazy for having natural reactions to abnormal people, abnormal events and abnormal situations. "Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships. Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs." WILLIAM GLASSER
I’m a soccer coach. The pure O situation sounds a lot like what I do when I’m planning lineups for games, so I almost try to use it like a superpower, but it is rooted in intolerance of uncertainty and the desire to get things exactly right. Weirdly though, it can feel fun and empowering, too, but even then, I’m usually avoiding my actual job when I’m gameplanning haha. Everything you said hit home minus the extreme external irrational compulsions (although health anxiety and “checking” does sometimes occur with me). Thanks for doing what you do
Idk, but ocd makes me feel worse and worse, and I no longer know if it's because of me or ocd that I don't trust my mind for something that may or may not have happened a few moments ago, that makes me doubt myself or if it really happened 😓
I appreciate all your knowledge and expert advice on issues most humans have to cope with. However I’d love to know does that mean you don’t have any issues yourself? I can’t imagine there’s anything you would need help with x
If you heard of a spiritual teacher in India named BK Shivani. She says that always think positive because thoughts create reality. So whenever a negative thought came. I wanted to suppress it or fear it. Then it became my anxiety.
Hi Paige. Pls can you help me. I have ocd all my life but never diagnosed. The most recent one I had was about my body. So Il push my eye on the whites mostly gently to see if they go inward slightly.....from which point an obsession will be triggered. So I will then check them over and over pushing as I think one is going in further than the other. Today I had where I would check to see if my finger would go in further on the left side of my eyes on one more than the other.....unfortunately I felt that one finger would slightly have more wriggle room and go in further just a fraction of the eye socket than the other one. No these are relatively for the most part small pushed - increasing in intensity as Im aware I dont want to cause damage. I would usually find a happy resolution with the result but had to stop pushing as it was too hard. Since then I have stopped acting on the compulsion but its playing on my mind constantly with a strong temptation to check it. However I promised myself I would not feed this monster anymore....as has enough once and for all. I really feel tempted to check more but dont want to damage myself or push the eye whatsoever even if its a harmless check. Im also aware that I can be in an ocd episode for an hr or more causing me to want to cry or be in terrible anxiety. I also had ocd about all part of my body but never find anything online about them only some of the common ones. The other week I would bend my finger beyond a natural click to see if it is ok and abnormal.. the more I would check it through ocd to ensure its not getting loser......but then have to stop as as checking/bending its motion against the joint will only make it worse if anything. I had this about my neck, back and pretty much I have had all OCD's in my life that you can imagine....but I have so many that I cannot find online or people talking about. In my case they are around things I care about not wanting to damage...i.e my eyes or joints etc....volatile areas.....and I check them to make sure they are as they first were....but as the ocd checking increases I become unsure more than ever if that body part has in some very very small way loser or clicks more now after messing with it. This kinda of ocd is based upon an actual even of concern that I have something wrong with me or damaged myself somehow...pls can you help me on this at all and tell me where I can find anything online of other people with this or very similar ocd rituals......as I feel very much alone with this. Thank you
I was ruminating about about my trigger and told myself after the event even if someone recorded me I had my face mask on anyway Then the doubt kicked in. Did I have my face mask on so I’m recognisable even though I told myself and was fine straight after the incident. About half hour after being recorded, I started worrying did I have my mask on despite initially telling myself straight after I had my face mask on Yesterday I even had to ask someone this morning if my worry happened and they confirmed no. Now my brain is latching on to something else after I stopped worrying about something else Real event post rumination
I suffer with anxiety and im pretty sure ocd, i have really bad intrusive thoughts and i obsess over them thinking what is wrong with myself and i just constantly think about it. When im at home its all i think of when im outside i feel a bit better but as soon as i get home think it again, my intrusive thoughts are sexual and I absolutely hate it i cry everyday and try meditations to get over it but the only way i get over it is by sleeping. And i try counting to think about numbers but its like i have a second person in my head which is also speaking saying it over and over
It’s actually VERY hard to teach someone with ocd to get out of it. The person essentially has to change their way of thinking and gain perspective. The bridge is “fake it till you make it”. At the same time, I think anyone with ocd doesn’t need a therapist, it’s about gaining that perceptive and working with their mind that the individual knows best. I think therapists can be harmful if even the slightest thing they say is off.
Emma, in a self-help effort I started reading this book called "Rewire Your OCD Brain" and it said that OCD has a genetic component, like a part of the brain is broken. Can you confirm this, and if so, do you know what part of the brain is not working right?
I don't think that's how genetics work. Genetics can surely increase the risk of a disease but that doesn't mean our brains are broken. That's a very problematic way to describe it. Rewiring the brain itself indicates that it's not that people with OCD were born with a broken brain but they have genetic predispositions to certain illnesses and there are therapies to deal with them. Emma's neuroplasticity videos are excellent and discuss this concept.
When OCD thoughts pop up tap forehead with finger to get relief .You can't do this and have the OCD thoughts at the same time . Do positive affirmations to overcome the negative energy of OCD proven by science .Understand the mass consciousness does effect us the negative energy from 8 billion people so we have to protect our minds from this with positive affirmations , prayers everyday .
Hello Mam , I suffer from OCD , false memory , trauma , doubts , illusion , depression, hallucinations , fearful thoughts relating future , I am afraid of technology and paper works , I have very low confidence
I have to be very careful with CBT because it just causes more rumination and arguing with myself. ACT and ERP have been much more helpful modalities for me. I struggle with something more similar to pure O, although I do havw tendencies toward avoidance and occasional compulsive behaviors.
Like right now, my brain will not let go of the typo in my comment 😅 I'm convinced that if I don't fix the typo, my point is no longer valid, no one will see my experience as credible, and I'll be told I'm an idiot. But I just have to leave it. Even typing this explanation relieves some of my anxiety about it. But yeah, that's OCD for you.
I am at my wits end with this disease. I have pedophilia ocd, and the fear of losing control or harming someone or myself, I write down on a post it note I’m not a pedophile, and I would never hurt myself or anyone else. I soon realized this was a compulsion and I was obsessed over not loosing this note, I ended up loosing it then I copied the same thing in a post it and taped it to my key and now I’m obsessing over what if I lose the key or what if the tape becomes bad and the post it gets ruined then maybe I will forget I’m not a pedophile and I wouldn’t hurt myself or anyone. I think the post it is a compulsion, but I also don’t want to memory hoard “I’m not a pedophile” and “I wouldn’t hurt myself or anyone” what should I do about this issue? Throw away the post it and go through the hell of not having it? Eventually hopefully forgetting about it and the thoughts
Unfortunately, the post it note seems like a reassurance. As I'm sure you know, you can never get enough reassurance to feel better. I had OCD as well and it really did feel like I would never get better. I did ERP for years and the thoughts continued to come in and I continued to be tormented by them; my anxiety never decreased like it was supposed to. It took me so long to realize that the thoughts that I was having were within my control. Not the first thoughts, the fears, doubts etc., those were automatic. But the second part, me asking the questions, me going back and forth in my head a thousand times and ruminating about the fears I was having, that was all within my control. I don't have OCD anymore - I still get intrusive thoughts and OCD fears, but I know what to do with them now so it doesn't affect me anymore. I talk about what I did here ruclips.net/video/ZgrRnt76K_s/видео.html.
What makes my OCD worse is I'm not bothered how the things are disarranged and disorganized, but how I pronounce the letters and words inside my head, according to how they sound. I keep reading the letters and phrases repeatedly until I perfectly pronounced them using my mind only. I also try to imagine and visualize scenes in my head, like a man performing a backflip and people walking in timelapse. We might think it's just easy,, but it's actually difficult for me, due to the negative bias in the brain, so I keep trying to visualize that scene until I perfectly imagined it. And it just bothers me how I can't do such thing, and it makes me think I'm disabled and impaired thinking ability, that's why I have to do it in a repetitive state, and it's toilsome. I apologize for my grammar😭, I'm not good at explaining things
Since 25 days am suicidal..can u plz talk about irrational thought entering in head while studying which causes anxiety..that thought is actually fear of something written in book related to past years, times and make me think of my past failures and long term isolation.
hey i just wanna let u know that i also feel really sad atm, especially when i’m studying and feeling like a failure. Please know that ur not alone. Maybe one day the pain will fade 🙏🏻
Hi, I saw your comment on another video and I deeply felt what you said about lost time and the feelings that accompany it-ofc I can never know the intensity of your grief. I’ve also felt isolated and like a failure for years. What I’ve learnt is the past is a bitch that bites hard when you’re down and the big contradiction is how we end up making more regrets in memory of old ones. It’s hard. It is so so hard to not let it define you. But I know it will change and I hope and pray it changes for you and things get simple and you let yourself feel all those fucked feelings, but also after a point, leave them in the uncomfortable past. Please take care friend, sending you strength, hope, love, and above all peace.
Its all good and well, but if the anxiety comes from a religious point of view there is no way to be sure "its just thoughts". There are whole nations who believe in the evil eye and stuff like that.
I always told myself that if I'm constantly thinking about the world ending everyday, it won't happen. Since the bible says nobody knows the hour of which it will happen , not even the son of God. So i made myself constantly think about it because i thought if i did , i could prevent it. I never knew how much that would affect me until now
I would be grateful to watch the video if she hadn't mentioned again and again "people with OCD". With due respect, mentioning thus again again reminds me that I have ocd instead of letting me understand these patterns fully. Kind of disturbing for me, but really really helpful info, highly grateful for ur efforts. Thank u
Just a gentle note that watching too many videos RE OCD can be a compulsion in itself. Do you need to watch this video? If so, maybe try wait 5 mins first.
I have a question.. when a loved one is a cancer survivor, and you know that food-exercise-stress-medicines-lifestyle can have an impact on that person, and you want to advise that person, but you end up causing extra pressure what do you do? You are not responsible for him, but you are responsible for knowing something and not say it , when that something could keep him healthy and alive. I mean sometimes that person can be in denial mode, and does not accept advise, but your advise could save him..then should you think Oh its not my proble, its out my control? Just like that? Then how can one live?
I would still advice that loved one, but not pushing it so much so to cause extra pressure. I would try subtle ways to make them do some kind of sport like walk with me in a park often to appreciate the beauty of the nature, I would express loudly my gratitude and joy for the second chance they were given, by surviving cancer (maybe they have not comprehended they were given a second chance), I would cook and bring to them a lot of healthy foods cooked as deliciously as possible and I would also try to help them feel relaxed and happy as much as possible. If some unhealthy food now and then makes them feel happy, I will let them have it without making them feel guilty. It's their life and they should feel joy. And if they follow my advices related to food-exercise-stress-medicines-lifestyles only 10% of the time, it is still good. I mean, I have adviced them, but it's they choice if they follow the advice or not. I don't expect miracles from someone who had a very unhealthy lifestyle to change over night. I do everything stays in my power to help, but without causing a conflict with the loved one. And I think that is enough. My grandfather had cancer and I have tried and tried to make him change his eating habits. He was old, he did not want to change to much. Maybe he did not believe me, that it would make such a great differerence, maybe he wanted to live the rest of his life the way he wanted to. We have advised him, but not push him to do anything. He got to do his own choices. He died one year after the diagnose, but he felt the love and support of the family until his last second. I am grateful for the many years I got to know him and I am not upset for the choice he made and neither upset that I have not pushed him harder. It was more important that the time he had was lived in harmony and happiness. But other people DO change with time, do take the advice of the friends and family, even if not over night. Usually young people or people who have young kids and have to provide for them are really fighting and doing everything they can to be healthy again.
The truth is that the factors you've mentioned have an inpact on everyone's life. Loving someone means trying to help them understand their situation in a loving, honest and kind manner. However, they have to make the choice for themselves. Nobody else can do it for them. Constantly reminding them or blaming yourself for not helping them enough is not going to change the outcome. Trying to be positive and appreciating the changes they have implemented in their lives no matter how small is more conducive to encouraging them to enacting change. I wish you the best of luck and hope you and your loved ones enjoy a long, healthy and fulfilling life.
I think for the last 3 years I've had ocd thinking about some girl... Better than the 10 years thinking about bad stuff I did... Its terrible whenever she gets a boyfriend though... Schizophrenic and single
Emma, I love your videos, but I have a question. Recently I have been having these terrible intrusive thoughts. They go like this. "What if you see something very graphic or violent online, and you end up liking it and want to see more, so you look deeper and find it, and end up become a twisted, terrible person". I know it is oddly specific, but I basically combined the thoughts into a general idea. I would love if you could try to give me some tips with going forward with these thoughts. I have heard that exposure and response therapy is effective, but I do not even want to imagine what things I might see if I did ERP therapy, and I get scared I will like that and the cycle repeats. Some things that I believe makes this worse is that I love learning about things, and I was researching the Sandy Hook shooting, and I had saw that the shooter spent a lot of time in his room and eventually went down a spiral of becoming obsessed with bad things, and I basically said "I spend a lot of time in my room, so that will happen to me". And I also fear of suddenly losing control of myself and doing something that is terrible. I believe this is Harm OCD, but I haven't been officially diagnosed. Hope you see this.
I deal with Harm OCD. Your experience sounds like you do too. There are many great books and videos specifically for the crap we experience. I’ve also had great success with EMDR therapy.
It's hard for me to pay attention to what you're saying in the beginning when you have the music going in the background. I mean.. it's really distracting and annoying even though the music is nice. Also, interesting you talk about the religious OCD aspect. I was that person when I was a Mormon. I thought that I had to have the exact right thought in my head at every single moment. This is one of the things that made me feel like I needed to question the church and made me decide that even if God wanted me to do that, I no longer wanted to put that pressure on myself. To be clear, that is NOT why I left the church. I left because when I opened up my mind to anything other than the pat answers that had satisfied me in the past, I realized that the church really couldn't be true based on archeological evidence. Now I've seen the CES letter too, which would have really had me questioning at the time... Regardless, it's interesting to hear your insights into how anxiety issues can manifest themselves in a religious context.
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a common mental health condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours. OCD can affect men, women and children. Some people start having symptoms early, often around puberty, but it usually starts during early adulthood. You actually make a good point here. Therapist with CBT are usually not explaining anything in detail - they are focused on self blame while they generalize symptoms and never explain what is true problem. Anything is problem to CBT. CBR labels Overgeneralization as cognitive distortion and in the same time uses Overgeneralization to anything.
Improve your mental health with the free course, courses.therapyinanutshell.com/grounding-skills-for-anxiety-stress-and-ptsd
Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once . Breathe . You're strong . You got this .Take it day by day.
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I am feeling the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
@Elizabeth Williams came across the comments about dr.sporess and I must say he is a genius.
Thank you
The only one I have to deeply disagree with is the second part of number 3. As someone who has had ocd mostly purely mentally, or "Pure-O" as they call it, it's not the "pop-in" thoughts that I struggle with - it's fixating and ruminating about ANY thought. ie your mind puts too much importance on "solving" something, and the longer you spend thinking about it, the more it has to be "solved", leading you to an endless cycle of rumination, as your mind keeps finding holes in your solutions or reasoning. So it works the same really as any physical compulsions, only mentally. Encouraging people to engage with anxious thinking will only entrench them further - acceptance is the only way to break the vicious cycle.
I find Pure O latches onto anything and everything too...even real life past events.
However, I question whether I should really call it Pure O as I do have a compulsion to confess my thoughts and ask for reassurance from others.
@@AlisonBryen Exactly - I don't think it's really important what we catgorise it as (I think it's more for therapists trying to clarify it). That's what I've found to be consistent of "ocd" - it's a pattern of anxious thinking that is an exaggeration of the norm. I don't think of it as a solid "disorder" so much as disordered thinking. It's an unhealthy coping mechanism that our minds have developed in response to extreme or chronic stress, which is so hard to break when those neural pathways get so entrenched.
our minds initially perceive a threat/thought/concept/anything as catastrophic/unacceptable, and so we have an irresistible urge to solve or neutralise it. The problem is, the more we pay attention to it, the more it sends a positive feedback loop to our brains that the "threat" IS important and needs to be solved. Hence our brains keep checking for "mistakes", or holes in our logic - just like with physical compulsions.
The only way for the primitive amygdala in our brains to stop being triggered is to stop feeding it, by accepting all of the feelings and not trying to neutralise them. It's the only way it learns it's not needed, and eventually you won't even have to think about it anymore.
@@imathumb brilliant summary!!! that’s exactly it! the brain takes our attention to that thought as threat so keeps it alive - disregarding is key.
@@EllieHawkes haha i appreciate that you found it to be a summary! so hard putting it into words that don't go pages long, hey! 😅 it's SO key, and it's the strangest thing putting it into practise and experiencing yourself desensitising to things you used to be affected by.
Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about solutions, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering.
Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured.
The Highly Sensitive Person,
Elaine N. Aron
This was validating. Most of the therapy I've been offered is CBT, and it's only ever made things worse but the blame is always put on me for not trying hard enough to break free from negative thoughts
This lady here seems to really get it. My spouse and children all have autism (the world calls them high functioning but...) and every therapist has tried way too hard to make cognitive behavioral therapy work for them. After nearly 20 years and 8 therapists we finally quit. Why continue beating that dead horse, and paying to do it? One of my kids is now seeing a physical therapist with amazing results. This adult child is finally becoming able to identify how emotions are making the body feel and NOW we're beginning to make progress! So it seems like the other therapists all had the cart before the horse which killed the horse they continued beating and blaming the horse for being dead. Expensive failures. Expensive trauma. Expensive waste of energy.
I would recommend Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It has helped me start to work with my Pure O/real life event OCD as it teaches you to disengage with your thoughts, whilst at the same time becoming more accepting of the unpleasant feelings those thoughts generate.
Has the CBT included exposure therapy?
@@AlisonBryen "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy"
That is CBT, it is third wave of CBT.
And it stills have self pathology inside is, like CBT. ACT tells us as CBT that we are hallucinating our fears and anxieties, and that toxic people do not exist.
The correct therapy is Humanistic psychology. Humanistic therapies.
"Most of the therapy I've been offered is CBT, "
This channel is CBT all over.
You are a hero! Thank you so much for what you’re doing 🧡🙏🏻
Emma, I am so thankful for you. I learn so much from your videos. Not only do you communicate knowledge and facts, but you do it in a way that is caring, warm, and conversational. With every video, I feel the love you have for your profession and your audience. Thank you for all that you do!
Again thank you so much for your amazing videos. For someone who can’t afford therapy, I can’t tell you how appreciative I am for your time in offering these sessions for free. 🙏🤗
Emma, I absolutely love your videos. It’s so rare to find someone online offering practical and reassuring advice rather than just telling people what’s ‘wrong’ with them.
With so much content out there that potentially exacerbates our emotional struggles it’s great to always be able to recommend your channel safe in the knowledge the advice will always be helpful. 😊
I bought the intrusive thoughts course in September after a particularly rough episode that somewhat cost me a relationship. The material addressed the bulk of my decades-long problem in a week.
What you said about the '2 types of thoughts' at 05:00 was completely correct. You. CAN'T stop thoughts from coming into your head, but you CAN decide not to engage with them after they've arrived.
The first one is passive that happens without your input, the second one is active and completely within your control.
"Someone with OCD may feel actual guilt for a crime they didn't commit" - this is so true. Where were these assuring words when I needed them the most? I am curious why we choose to act in these irrational ways when we have all the facts that prove us otherwise. It just does not make sense and it's so frustrating! I also sometimes feel like there could be a lack of confidence in ourselves and this can lead to self-doubt and OCD behaviours. I personally ruminate a lot about that. CBD did not work for me, it actualy made me feel worse for the most part (I still learned helpful things from it).
CBT is therapy of self lobotomy, self pathology, self blame and self hatred.
Came here because the last few hours I have been ruminating and re-acting my last steps to try and remember for sure on something.
I am staying in a homeless hostel and had to have a room inspection by staff. I have social anxiety and insecurity right now. I still rely on wearing a face mask due to this and wearing a bandana and a comfort scarf round my neck.
Due to previous staff bullying me at this hostel I tend to record my interactions with staff on my iPhone so I did this before they I let them in my room. I think I put my bandana on, face mask and my comfort scarf round my neck opened my room window and curtain before letting them in
Long story short AFTER they came and left I started worrying if my mask was on when they were in my room and then if my bandana and comfort scarf was on when they were in my room. I wear it due to insecurity and social anxiety.
The thought only happened after they left as I locked my room door (I tend to remove my face mask first by default) but then quickly at the same time closed the window and curtain with one hand. As I was closing the window I started to have the intrusive thought was my face mask off the whole interaction? And now I’m just noticing?
I kept checking and re-listening to the recording on my iPhone to keep trying to hear if I was putting things on and even re-enacting it all over again to get myself to stop.
Then the thought changed to did I have my bandana on and scarf on?
Did the staff secretly film me whilst being in my room without my mask, bandana and comfort scarf on
Because my window and curtain was up did the neighbours see me looking rough?
The thought only happened after they left as I shut the window covering my face with one hand. I don’t remember taking the mask off after they left even though by default I always remove my mask first when alone in my room and I must of been on autopilot mode because I also locked my room door and placed a barricade over my door but don’t remember doing so.
I feel like I want to ask the staff in question next hostel check but I know this will probs make it worse
Last time this happened my thoughts were not true because I had visual proof and someone told me it was not true that I did have my comfort scarf on when talking to them
Yesterday I couldn’t sleep and even had a nightmare about it
It might be a small detail but I really appreciate you adding the list of points to the description. Love your channel and content, bless you for the work you do 🙏❤️
OCD is a coping mechanism with stress for me. Not all my anxiety is OCD related, some of it is jsut plain old anxiety. But what you have to realize is that it's really a way of your ego trying to control things. And you have to just sit down and tell yourself it really doesn't matter in the long run what thoughts I have, these thoughts aren't me they are clouds that float by and I am the sky.
sometimes i have thoughts that i feel like i need to go back or think about again, or think the opposite of them as a punishment for originally even putting conscious thought or effort, I find that when i just let my mind flow subconsciously my body feels more calm, the trick is to be aware of the anxiety and drop the thinking completely, the thinking just tosses you in loops like finding a needle in a haysack and is quite literally painful on both the body and mind! If you let go, you will most likely feel anxiety, but understand that's the treatment and the cure!
This is so true for suicidal ocd. by definition, having a thought about killing yourself, is suicidal ideation. but the fact that you’re so afraid and you’d never do it means you aren’t suicidal psychologically. it just makes it even worse to worry about harming yourself or keeping control.
Sometimes I’m so scared that I’ll compulsively kill myself out of control that I’ll just be frozen. it helps to go for a run or practice meditation.
I've been suffering from Real Event OCD real bad with constant reassurance seeking and confessing stuff from the past. Medication and therapy have been helpful, though some thinking patterns resurface from time to time
Came here because the last few hours I have been ruminating and re-acting my last steps to try and remember for sure on something.
I am staying in a homeless hostel and had to have a room inspection by staff. I have social anxiety and insecurity right now. I still rely on wearing a face mask due to this and wearing a bandana and a comfort scarf round my neck.
Due to previous staff bullying me at this hostel I tend to record my interactions with staff on my iPhone so I did this before they I let them in my room. I think I put my bandana on, face mask and my comfort scarf round my neck opened my room window and curtain before letting them in
Long story short AFTER they came and left I started worrying if my mask was on when they were in my room and then if my bandana and comfort scarf was on when they were in my room. I wear it due to insecurity and social anxiety.
The thought only happened after they left as I locked my room door (I tend to remove my face mask first by default) but then quickly at the same time closed the window and curtain with one hand. As I was closing the window I started to have the intrusive thought was my face mask off the whole interaction? And now I’m just noticing?
I kept checking and re-listening to the recording on my iPhone to keep trying to hear if I was putting things on and even re-enacting it all over again to get myself to stop.
Then the thought changed to did I have my bandana on and scarf on?
Did the staff secretly film me whilst being in my room without my mask, bandana and comfort scarf on
Because my window and curtain was up did the neighbours see me looking rough?
The thought only happened after they left as I shut the window covering my face with one hand. I don’t remember taking the mask off after they left even though by default I always remove my mask first when alone in my room and I must of been on autopilot mode because I also locked my room door and placed a barricade over my door but don’t remember doing so.
I feel like I want to ask the staff in question next hostel check but I know this will probs make it worse
Last time this happened my thoughts were not true because I had visual proof and someone told me it was not true that I did have my comfort scarf on when talking to them
Yesterday I couldn’t sleep and even had a nightmare about it
My daughter was dealing with OCD and her counselor suggested Therapy in Nutshell for my husband and I to listen to and learn from. Emma does a great job of breaking down all aspects of Mental illness. We keep coming back to watch and learn more.
Thank you, Emma. As always, very useful content. When I work with OCD, I understand it - first and foremost - as an emotional response to distress. For this reason, cognitive approaches are ineffective first-response interventions. Because emotions precede thinking, attempting to alter OCD thoughts without addressing the underlying emotional distress will be limited in impact. Akin to trying to teach a drowning person to swim. It's not going to work in the heat of an emergency. In the first instance, a person needs help to lower emotional arousal. Once a person is calm, the capacity to utilise cognitive approaches can expand. Thanks again. Dominic : )
Ocd is horrible, but taking time to take care of yourself and having time to unwind can help to reduce it.
For most of my life, I always thought I just had plain old anxiety. I even went to therapy for about a year for it. And it did help but there were some things that just never added up. Until one day my sister came to me and told me that she thinks she has OCD and told me all about pure O and how she matched everything it was saying. My sister and I are very similar and I realized that I too struggled deeply with those same things. I told my therapist about it and she said that she didn’t think I had it but she also said that she’s not specialized in OCD. Meeting with a therapist who believed I just had anxiety when it was really OCD caused me and her to believe my intrusive thoughts were caused by trauma instead of OCD.
I later found out that my mom used to have OCD and it makes so much sense now. Your channel is really helping me as a go on this journey of trying to better understand what I have and how to cope with it. 😊
Thanks emma, I really needed this today.
Great video, as always, Emma. Appreciate the work you are doing as someone in the field also!
I only developed an anxiety disorder and started to have intrusive thoughts due to a lot of job stress. I eventually changed jobs and like my new job but still find myself ruminating and making myself anxious over the thoughts. It's like once you start to have them they leave their tracks behind and it's hard trying to undo the ruminating.
I remember sobbing on my bathroom floor because my OCD started to tell me that I caused the Italian earthquake of 2009 by stepping on the pavement too heavily...in the middle of England a thousand miles away...
Emma, I have contamination OCD especially focused on feces. It started OUT as a concern about mold and mildew being on things, then the focus shifted to feces. Because we all have an aversion to feces, at least on some level, I am finding it hard to "make friends" with it. When I look at other peoples OCD concerns, THEIR concerns seem irrational, while MY concern makes sense, and so I justify all the handwashing. My thinking is that feces can spread from surface to surface with the slightest touch, like some megavirus, starting with toilet handles. I feel like everyone should exercise the same behavior around feces as I do, that them doing so wouldn't be excessive. When you speak of people who think a speedbump in the road might have been a person, that seems like a physical impossibility. But fecal germs on stuff? Very possible -- but yes, I know, not the end of the world. How can I break the cycle if I genuinely believe what I am doing is right and "normal"? In CBT therapy, this belief of mine was cited as the reason for why ERP was not working with me. I was told the treatable ones believe what they are doing is "crazy" but they just can't stop it.
This is my exact problem with my contamination ocd except its just around all bacteria that can cause illness, especially antibiotic resistance. I have no idea how any form of OCD therapy will help me.
What that therapist told you is not true. I recommend finding a new one and/or checking out Mark Freeman's videos on RUclips.
I'm struggling with similar but mine is headline fears. They're real things that are happening in the world, of course I feel like I should do something about them. It's so much easier to laugh off some of my more minor spirals, but that one is my biggest bear because it's a legitimate thing that's happening. It makes it that much harder not to engage the compulsions when you know it's legitimate.
Thank you so much for all your very helpful videos!
So thankful for your vids, so much wisdom! 🙏
Half baked information.
We receive here 25% or even less of real information that would help us.
#2 & #3 OOF, I am a Christian. So having the intrusive thought always made me feel like I was the worst possible person. Thank you so much for what you do, your videos help me so much.
AND #5 as well, as a christian the majority of my religion is uncertainty.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Would love it if you did a video on blushing in social settings. It's a very annoying symptom that I find hard to control / get rid of.
I had that before there is really no way around it than to put yourself in situations where it happens time after time and at last it goes away, also try not to fight it and embrace that you are blushing, I know its hard but keep on grinding
I've had this problem for 30 years in every social setting you can imagine and got rid of it in just a few days. The only thing you need to do is make it worse. Instead of telling yourself you don't want to blush say: "I want my head to become as red as possible", "I want everyone to see how red my face can be", "bring it on red face!". I've been doing the opposite for 30 years. Wishing it away, trying to control it. That never works. Just call it out and make it as bad as possible.
Accept it,
realize blushing is not killing anyone, it is not predatory, it is not narcissistic tool of abuse, there is no hidden agenda to harm anyone - so there is no pathology inside it.
right now I’m focusing on radical acceptance and willingness
this is really good
This video is definitely helpful as someone who is diagnosed with OCD.
"definitely helpful as someone who is diagnosed with OCD."
Nope.
She does not mentions trauma, CPTSD - so it is invalid.
IT is half-information, if mislead us into self blame and self pathology - and it does not offer any help how to handle difficult and toxic people who are causing our anxiety and intrusive thoughts - instead it directs us to expose ourselves to criminally insane mentally ill aggressive predators and bullies.
CBT ought to be banned, CBT is therapy of errors.
"Almost every mental disorder originates in childhood experience and originates as coping mechanism. When you are threatened with something, you would not be anxious, you would be afraid - as you should be."
YT Dr. Gabor Mate
*THIS IS FOR YOUR SUCCESS*
No matter what’s going on in your life right now, i am very sure there’s something and somewhere you’re missing it, so try and get a means that will have you feeling inspired, motivated, and understood; so you can take your next steps to success.
Because your success and greatness is my pleasure
Thanks for reading
I LOVE YOU ❤️😘
I’ve never had someone explain my OCD to a T as much as you did in this video
Thank you so much for this video !!! really admired your great work !!! 🙏
It is possible to feel so responsible for evryting that you cannot do anything and a type of breakdown occurs. This can lead to massive family stigma and zero understanding. All of a sudden we are 'lazy' or 'trying to get away with' This can lead to huge doubt-'am i faking it'
Yeah this is what happened to me, thankfully my dad understands now
Thank you so much for making me understand ❤️
Just saw your channel today, thank you!👏🏽🙏🏽😇
I find your advise so so helpful thank you .
Seek other channels, this is misleading information without true cause ever mentioned: trauma.
I recently bought a brand new car, and the first day I drove it, I got backed into by a pickup truck and a big scrape on the back of the car. I am stuck in these negative, obsessive loops of thought about how it was all my fault, I should have known better than to park where I did, what if the insurance company of the person who hit me won't cover the damage, what if I get hit again, what if this is all a sign that I made a bad decision, when can the car be fixed, etc etc. It's completely consumed the past entire week of my mental space. I can't stop obsessing and thinking about it/beating myself up over what is essentially nothing in the grand scheme of the world. I know, rationally, that my car will be completely fine, but because my OCD and anxiety are so strong, to me it feels like a catastrophic event for which there is no solution. Even my boyfriend has expressed deep worry about me ever since this happened and has noticed that I'm not eating as much or making decisions as well as before. It's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't struggle with obsessive thoughts, just how imprisoning it can feel, even when you know it's irrational to be THAT upset.
I think the bit with replacing thoughts is something that's causing compulsions within themselves. If it's the thought that you fear, and try to say it's not dangerous (while you feel it is), then you still kind of reassure that's dangerous. But if you said yes, the thought is dangerous, then you'd need to see for yourself that it's actually not (very very hard to do btw). As that's one basis for ERP.
Edit: ah, I see you mentioned it later. my bad.
If we react to intrusive thoughts it is like urticaria, skin allergy - the rash will get worse.
Even Jung said What you resist, persist.
When we focus on our thinking pattern - and label it as sickness and something that other people do not have - we self pathologize ourselves, this destroys our self worth and installs toxic shame.
Responsibility for preventing others is codependency issue, stems from trauma, where we were conditioned through criticism to take care of dysregulated adults around us. This is hypnosis - this is not something that is sick, it is reaction to untreated mentally ill people around us. If we make this personal, we will equate our emotions with our personality character. That is called Emotional reasoning.
Feelings if guilt stems from toxic people and toxic environment. If we label this as our fault for guilt - we will develop toxic shame. With toxic shame inside us, we will give up ability to trust our decisions - and we will see other people as superior and gods to us, leaving us with people pleasing issues.
Ebbinghaus Forgetting Curve will render our techniques and mechanisms useless with time.
Therefore nitpicking our thinking patterns leads to nowhere.
Mental imbalance is not a car, it is not machine that we can replace with store purchased parts. If we are not evil, if we are not killing people, if we have no evil agenda - there is nothing pathological inside us that requires lobotomy or micromanaging CBT approach.
Micromanaging - which CBT profess is path to hypervigilance and more of intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are not personality trait, it is not personal flaw in our character as CBT represent it.
If we have cognitive distortions - this is sign we were in trauma toxic environment, and we probably attract toxic people now.
Noticing, replacing thoughts is micromanaging. In real life it will not work, it will not help - it will make intrusive thoughts stronger - since we signal our brain that we are sick and abnormal in comparison with dumb people without education.
Exposure is awful approach because we will still be in toxic environment and do nothing about it. Instead of recognizing toxic people and cutting contact with them, we will self blame and self hate our reaction to toxic people and end up with crap fitting into abuse and self pathologizing ourselves.
With CBT our primary focus will be to nitpick our panic symptoms.
We won't be focused on our self worth, our goals in life and doing things we truly want and like. With CBT we will see other people as gods, and we will try to appease others, ending up with external locus of control.
Our brain is not broken.
CBT will make us believe that we are crazy for having natural reactions to abnormal people, abnormal events and abnormal situations.
"Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships.
Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs."
WILLIAM GLASSER
Just curious..
Are you licensed Therapist??
@@marciaescobar6142 I am not topic here.
Your whole understanding of CBT (an umbrella term) in the context of OCD is flawed and irrational.
You are Great
I’m a soccer coach. The pure O situation sounds a lot like what I do when I’m planning lineups for games, so I almost try to use it like a superpower, but it is rooted in intolerance of uncertainty and the desire to get things exactly right. Weirdly though, it can feel fun and empowering, too, but even then, I’m usually avoiding my actual job when I’m gameplanning haha.
Everything you said hit home minus the extreme external irrational compulsions (although health anxiety and “checking” does sometimes occur with me). Thanks for doing what you do
It is really bad idea to attach familiar sounding psychiatry labels to own phenomena, thinking patterns, thinking styles.
I definitely feel guilty when I have a bad thought
Amazing video. 👌👌👌👌👌👌
Idk, but ocd makes me feel worse and worse, and I no longer know if it's because of me or ocd that I don't trust my mind for something that may or may not have happened a few moments ago, that makes me doubt myself or if it really happened 😓
GREAT VIDEO ❤️
Thank you so much for your words advices teaching how to try and control my behaviour 🙏
I appreciate all your knowledge and expert advice on issues most humans have to cope with. However I’d love to know does that mean you don’t have any issues yourself? I can’t imagine there’s anything you would need help with x
Thank you sister❤
If you heard of a spiritual teacher in India named BK Shivani. She says that always think positive because thoughts create reality. So whenever a negative thought came. I wanted to suppress it or fear it. Then it became my anxiety.
EMMA PLEASE CONSIDER MAKING SERIES ON OCD. I SUFFER WITH OCD AND I NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU TO MAKE A DIAGNOSIS FOR THIS CONDITION!!
Brought me to tears
Thank you❤
Thank you so much ❤
Really helpful
Thank you so much!!!!!
God bless you ma’am
Hi Paige. Pls can you help me. I have ocd all my life but never diagnosed. The most recent one I had was about my body. So Il push my eye on the whites mostly gently to see if they go inward slightly.....from which point an obsession will be triggered. So I will then check them over and over pushing as I think one is going in further than the other. Today I had where I would check to see if my finger would go in further on the left side of my eyes on one more than the other.....unfortunately I felt that one finger would slightly have more wriggle room and go in further just a fraction of the eye socket than the other one. No these are relatively for the most part small pushed - increasing in intensity as Im aware I dont want to cause damage. I would usually find a happy resolution with the result but had to stop pushing as it was too hard. Since then I have stopped acting on the compulsion but its playing on my mind constantly with a strong temptation to check it. However I promised myself I would not feed this monster anymore....as has enough once and for all. I really feel tempted to check more but dont want to damage myself or push the eye whatsoever even if its a harmless check. Im also aware that I can be in an ocd episode for an hr or more causing me to want to cry or be in terrible anxiety. I also had ocd about all part of my body but never find anything online about them only some of the common ones. The other week I would bend my finger beyond a natural click to see if it is ok and abnormal.. the more I would check it through ocd to ensure its not getting loser......but then have to stop as as checking/bending its motion against the joint will only make it worse if anything. I had this about my neck, back and pretty much I have had all OCD's in my life that you can imagine....but I have so many that I cannot find online or people talking about. In my case they are around things I care about not wanting to damage...i.e my eyes or joints etc....volatile areas.....and I check them to make sure they are as they first were....but as the ocd checking increases I become unsure more than ever if that body part has in some very very small way loser or clicks more now after messing with it. This kinda of ocd is based upon an actual even of concern that I have something wrong with me or damaged myself somehow...pls can you help me on this at all and tell me where I can find anything online of other people with this or very similar ocd rituals......as I feel very much alone with this. Thank you
I was ruminating about about my trigger and told myself after the event even if someone recorded me I had my face mask on anyway
Then the doubt kicked in. Did I have my face mask on so I’m recognisable even though I told myself and was fine straight after the incident.
About half hour after being recorded, I started worrying did I have my mask on despite initially telling myself straight after I had my face mask on
Yesterday I even had to ask someone this morning if my worry happened and they confirmed no. Now my brain is latching on to something else after I stopped worrying about something else
Real event post rumination
I suffer with anxiety and im pretty sure ocd, i have really bad intrusive thoughts and i obsess over them thinking what is wrong with myself and i just constantly think about it. When im at home its all i think of when im outside i feel a bit better but as soon as i get home think it again, my intrusive thoughts are sexual and I absolutely hate it i cry everyday and try meditations to get over it but the only way i get over it is by sleeping. And i try counting to think about numbers but its like i have a second person in my head which is also speaking saying it over and over
thank you! 🙏
Can you make a video about real time ocd?
Thank you
It’s actually VERY hard to teach someone with ocd to get out of it. The person essentially has to change their way of thinking and gain perspective. The bridge is “fake it till you make it”. At the same time, I think anyone with ocd doesn’t need a therapist, it’s about gaining that perceptive and working with their mind that the individual knows best. I think therapists can be harmful if even the slightest thing they say is off.
Emma, in a self-help effort I started reading this book called "Rewire Your OCD Brain" and it said that OCD has a genetic component, like a part of the brain is broken. Can you confirm this, and if so, do you know what part of the brain is not working right?
I don't think that's how genetics work. Genetics can surely increase the risk of a disease but that doesn't mean our brains are broken. That's a very problematic way to describe it. Rewiring the brain itself indicates that it's not that people with OCD were born with a broken brain but they have genetic predispositions to certain illnesses and there are therapies to deal with them. Emma's neuroplasticity videos are excellent and discuss this concept.
Thanks💜
Thanks 🙏
Is this a repeat video? Still helpful, 😊
Seems like ocd has a lot to do with excessive guilt
When OCD thoughts pop up tap forehead with finger to get relief .You can't do this and have the OCD thoughts at the same time . Do positive affirmations to overcome the negative energy of OCD proven by science .Understand the mass consciousness does effect us the negative energy from 8 billion people so we have to protect our minds from this with positive affirmations , prayers everyday .
Can you make series on acceptance and commitment therapy
Hello Mam , I suffer from OCD , false memory , trauma , doubts , illusion , depression, hallucinations , fearful thoughts relating future , I am afraid of technology and paper works , I have very low confidence
I have to be very careful with CBT because it just causes more rumination and arguing with myself. ACT and ERP have been much more helpful modalities for me. I struggle with something more similar to pure O, although I do havw tendencies toward avoidance and occasional compulsive behaviors.
Like right now, my brain will not let go of the typo in my comment 😅 I'm convinced that if I don't fix the typo, my point is no longer valid, no one will see my experience as credible, and I'll be told I'm an idiot. But I just have to leave it. Even typing this explanation relieves some of my anxiety about it. But yeah, that's OCD for you.
The one of having to check if everything is turned off and the door is locked is a very debilitating process.
I am at my wits end with this disease. I have pedophilia ocd, and the fear of losing control or harming someone or myself, I write down on a post it note I’m not a pedophile, and I would never hurt myself or anyone else. I soon realized this was a compulsion and I was obsessed over not loosing this note, I ended up loosing it then I copied the same thing in a post it and taped it to my key and now I’m obsessing over what if I lose the key or what if the tape becomes bad and the post it gets ruined then maybe I will forget I’m not a pedophile and I wouldn’t hurt myself or anyone. I think the post it is a compulsion, but I also don’t want to memory hoard “I’m not a pedophile” and “I wouldn’t hurt myself or anyone” what should I do about this issue? Throw away the post it and go through the hell of not having it? Eventually hopefully forgetting about it and the thoughts
Unfortunately, the post it note seems like a reassurance. As I'm sure you know, you can never get enough reassurance to feel better. I had OCD as well and it really did feel like I would never get better. I did ERP for years and the thoughts continued to come in and I continued to be tormented by them; my anxiety never decreased like it was supposed to. It took me so long to realize that the thoughts that I was having were within my control. Not the first thoughts, the fears, doubts etc., those were automatic. But the second part, me asking the questions, me going back and forth in my head a thousand times and ruminating about the fears I was having, that was all within my control.
I don't have OCD anymore - I still get intrusive thoughts and OCD fears, but I know what to do with them now so it doesn't affect me anymore. I talk about what I did here ruclips.net/video/ZgrRnt76K_s/видео.html.
What makes my OCD worse is I'm not bothered how the things are disarranged and disorganized, but how I pronounce the letters and words inside my head, according to how they sound. I keep reading the letters and phrases repeatedly until I perfectly pronounced them using my mind only. I also try to imagine and visualize scenes in my head, like a man performing a backflip and people walking in timelapse. We might think it's just easy,, but it's actually difficult for me, due to the negative bias in the brain, so I keep trying to visualize that scene until I perfectly imagined it. And it just bothers me how I can't do such thing, and it makes me think I'm disabled and impaired thinking ability, that's why I have to do it in a repetitive state, and it's toilsome. I apologize for my grammar😭, I'm not good at explaining things
I like to go ahead and make the mistake, to get it out of the way! 🙄🙂
Since 25 days am suicidal..can u plz talk about irrational thought entering in head while studying which causes anxiety..that thought is actually fear of something written in book related to past years, times and make me think of my past failures and long term isolation.
hey i just wanna let u know that i also feel really sad atm, especially when i’m studying and feeling like a failure. Please know that ur not alone. Maybe one day the pain will fade 🙏🏻
Hi, I saw your comment on another video and I deeply felt what you said about lost time and the feelings that accompany it-ofc I can never know the intensity of your grief. I’ve also felt isolated and like a failure for years. What I’ve learnt is the past is a bitch that bites hard when you’re down and the big contradiction is how we end up making more regrets in memory of old ones. It’s hard. It is so so hard to not let it define you. But I know it will change and I hope and pray it changes for you and things get simple and you let yourself feel all those fucked feelings, but also after a point, leave them in the uncomfortable past. Please take care friend, sending you strength, hope, love, and above all peace.
You’re not alone 🧡🧡🧡
Its all good and well, but if the anxiety comes from a religious point of view there is no way to be sure "its just thoughts". There are whole nations who believe in the evil eye and stuff like that.
OCD thoughts/impulses feel real. its very hard.
Thank u so much!! Also can you please look into how to heal anxiety instead of coping with them?
Good
i hate having ocd
I always told myself that if I'm constantly thinking about the world ending everyday, it won't happen. Since the bible says nobody knows the hour of which it will happen , not even the son of God. So i made myself constantly think about it because i thought if i did , i could prevent it. I never knew how much that would affect me until now
that makes sense in a strange interesting way. but i hope you are feeling better today and realize we dont actually need to have these thoughts.
I would be grateful to watch the video if she hadn't mentioned again and again "people with OCD". With due respect, mentioning thus again again reminds me that I have ocd instead of letting me understand these patterns fully. Kind of disturbing for me, but really really helpful info, highly grateful for ur efforts. Thank u
Your awesome
Just a gentle note that watching too many videos RE OCD can be a compulsion in itself. Do you need to watch this video? If so, maybe try wait 5 mins first.
So true thank you for this!
I have a question.. when a loved one is a cancer survivor, and you know that food-exercise-stress-medicines-lifestyle can have an impact on that person, and you want to advise that person, but you end up causing extra pressure what do you do? You are not responsible for him, but you are responsible for knowing something and not say it , when that something could keep him healthy and alive. I mean sometimes that person can be in denial mode, and does not accept advise, but your advise could save him..then should you think Oh its not my proble, its out my control? Just like that? Then how can one live?
I would still advice that loved one, but not pushing it so much so to cause extra pressure. I would try subtle ways to make them do some kind of sport like walk with me in a park often to appreciate the beauty of the nature, I would express loudly my gratitude and joy for the second chance they were given, by surviving cancer (maybe they have not comprehended they were given a second chance), I would cook and bring to them a lot of healthy foods cooked as deliciously as possible and I would also try to help them feel relaxed and happy as much as possible. If some unhealthy food now and then makes them feel happy, I will let them have it without making them feel guilty. It's their life and they should feel joy. And if they follow my advices related to food-exercise-stress-medicines-lifestyles only 10% of the time, it is still good. I mean, I have adviced them, but it's they choice if they follow the advice or not. I don't expect miracles from someone who had a very unhealthy lifestyle to change over night. I do everything stays in my power to help, but without causing a conflict with the loved one. And I think that is enough.
My grandfather had cancer and I have tried and tried to make him change his eating habits. He was old, he did not want to change to much. Maybe he did not believe me, that it would make such a great differerence, maybe he wanted to live the rest of his life the way he wanted to. We have advised him, but not push him to do anything. He got to do his own choices. He died one year after the diagnose, but he felt the love and support of the family until his last second. I am grateful for the many years I got to know him and I am not upset for the choice he made and neither upset that I have not pushed him harder. It was more important that the time he had was lived in harmony and happiness. But other people DO change with time, do take the advice of the friends and family, even if not over night. Usually young people or people who have young kids and have to provide for them are really fighting and doing everything they can to be healthy again.
@@D1C2 thank you..
The truth is that the factors you've mentioned have an inpact on everyone's life. Loving someone means trying to help them understand their situation in a loving, honest and kind manner. However, they have to make the choice for themselves. Nobody else can do it for them. Constantly reminding them or blaming yourself for not helping them enough is not going to change the outcome. Trying to be positive and appreciating the changes they have implemented in their lives no matter how small is more conducive to encouraging them to enacting change. I wish you the best of luck and hope you and your loved ones enjoy a long, healthy and fulfilling life.
@@aamnahere6250 thank you, i wish you all thd best
I think for the last 3 years I've had ocd thinking about some girl... Better than the 10 years thinking about bad stuff I did... Its terrible whenever she gets a boyfriend though... Schizophrenic and single
Emma, I love your videos, but I have a question. Recently I have been having these terrible intrusive thoughts. They go like this. "What if you see something very graphic or violent online, and you end up liking it and want to see more, so you look deeper and find it, and end up become a twisted, terrible person". I know it is oddly specific, but I basically combined the thoughts into a general idea. I would love if you could try to give me some tips with going forward with these thoughts. I have heard that exposure and response therapy is effective, but I do not even want to imagine what things I might see if I did ERP therapy, and I get scared I will like that and the cycle repeats. Some things that I believe makes this worse is that I love learning about things, and I was researching the Sandy Hook shooting, and I had saw that the shooter spent a lot of time in his room and eventually went down a spiral of becoming obsessed with bad things, and I basically said "I spend a lot of time in my room, so that will happen to me". And I also fear of suddenly losing control of myself and doing something that is terrible. I believe this is Harm OCD, but I haven't been officially diagnosed. Hope you see this.
I deal with Harm OCD. Your experience sounds like you do too. There are many great books and videos specifically for the crap we experience. I’ve also had great success with EMDR therapy.
Hello what does ocd stand for?
obsessive compulsive disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
It's hard for me to pay attention to what you're saying in the beginning when you have the music going in the background. I mean.. it's really distracting and annoying even though the music is nice. Also, interesting you talk about the religious OCD aspect. I was that person when I was a Mormon. I thought that I had to have the exact right thought in my head at every single moment. This is one of the things that made me feel like I needed to question the church and made me decide that even if God wanted me to do that, I no longer wanted to put that pressure on myself. To be clear, that is NOT why I left the church. I left because when I opened up my mind to anything other than the pat answers that had satisfied me in the past, I realized that the church really couldn't be true based on archeological evidence. Now I've seen the CES letter too, which would have really had me questioning at the time... Regardless, it's interesting to hear your insights into how anxiety issues can manifest themselves in a religious context.
thks
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What is OCD ?
Obsessive compulsive disorder
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a common mental health condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours. OCD can affect men, women and children. Some people start having symptoms early, often around puberty, but it usually starts during early adulthood.
You actually make a good point here.
Therapist with CBT are usually not explaining anything in detail - they are focused on self blame while they generalize symptoms and never explain what is true problem. Anything is problem to CBT. CBR labels Overgeneralization as cognitive distortion and in the same time uses Overgeneralization to anything.
I suffer from magical thinking 🙁