The subtle thing that fuels anxiety - Avoidance - Break the Anxiety Cycle in 30 Days 4/30
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
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In the last video we learned all about the anxiety cycle. Your default mode is safety, if you perceive a threat, have a fear response, then face it or resolve it, your body has a natural ability to shake it off and return to a sense of safety.
But when we perceive something as dangerous and then we avoid it, our brain adapts by upregulating our anxiety.
But here’s the thing. We humans are uniquely just really good at two things, thinking of danger, and avoidance. We have the incredible ability to envision threats that aren’t happening (like worrying if we have enough money for retirement, or imagining people rejecting us) and this can help us prevent problems down the road, but it does keep us in the fear response in the present moment.
And then the second thing we are really good at is using complex and contrived ways to escape discomfort. We’re smart enough to know how to suppress our emotions, we can distract ourselves, procrastinate, find creative ways to avoid people or places that bother us, make excuses, justify ourselves, and just hide from our fears in general. But while avoidance brings us short term relief, it increases anxiety in the long run. We aren’t closing the loop and restoring a sense of safety.
What keeps us anxious?
-Running from our feelings
-Avoiding our problems and
-Immobilization not taking any action. Anxiety isn’t the same as a hot fear response, it’s much more of a cold, frozen dread response. On the polyvagal ladder it hovers between the FFF response and the shut down response.
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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This content is what RUclips was made for. ❤❤
When she said perfectionism is a form of avoiding anxiety..... I had never heard that before and that spoke to me
My cycle was anxiety appearing due to deep problems in my emotions and relationships, and my response would be “I need to better myself! Eat even healthier! I’ll set new goals and achieve new things!” when absolutely none of those were what I needed. I was just avoiding myself.
For me, one of the biggest things that has stunted my mental health growth was actually being an information junky on mental health. That has been my avoidance tactic. I will learn new thing after new thing about how to handle anxiety but instead of using them I will move on to the next video on RUclips teaching me something yet again new to handle anxiety. Once I actually realize this it actually helped me to figure out how to slow down and realize that I actually already have the tools that I need to handle this. Great video
I can relate to this! You can over intellectualize your anxiety for sure.
Me too!@@crimbleland
Me too!@@crimbleland
your comment is a eureka moment for me wtf 😭
This is amazing. During these last few months of school, I would constantly find myself dissociating during class. My anxiety manifested as nausea, as an emetophobe, I would start panicking. Due to constant panic attacks at school, I ended up switching to online classes; I spent almost half of my last year of high school in my room, since my friends had to go to school and wake up early, I would rarely go out and when I did go out on the weekends, I sometimes got panic attacks. Then summer came and my friends all left town and went on vacation so I spent at least 3 weeks alone in my room with nothing more than my phone and laptop; my anxiety had never been worse, I started stressing over everything, even sleep so when I tried to go to bed, as I was falling asleep, I would suddenly wake up with nausea and an overwhelming amount of fear. Two weeks later, I was stressing over a family vacation because all these thoughts invaded my head "What if I throw up? What if I faint? I mean, that has never happened before but it could.. I've felt so anxious that I feel nauseous and like i'm going to faint so it definitely could" One week later, we leave for the vacation and none of the things I was worried about happened, in fact, I had an amazing time and I met wonderful people. During the trip, I barely used my phone. I come back home and my anxiety is back. I just turned 18 in July and sometimes it feels like my life is already over before it even started because I can't go out without worrying about nothing, I missed over half of my last year of high school which used to be the place that I loved the most, I can't work, I can't make many friends because I'm scared.. Anxiety has ruined me. Now, I know this comment is really long but I just want to say how wonderful this channel is, I usually never comment on youtube videos but knowing that there's someone out there who understands what I'm going through and hearing it word by word exactly the way I've been experiencing it, makes me feel at ease and like there's still hope, like I don't have to live like this forever, like there's a solution to it and like i can actually get better and I do, I do want to get better and I hope everyone who has to deal with anxiety can get better. Peace.
There is a book called DARE they have an app too. I am just starting it so don't have my own testimonial on it but I read a lot of them where people were saying they got their life back and felt themselves again.
I am so sorry this has happened to you and want to tell you to never let go of your hope! Your brain is an amazing adaptable organ and you can train it to help you live the life you want. My son has had a similar experience to you, with his world getting smaller and smaller at the end of high school. He is in counseling now and is slowly feeling better and pushing himself to get out and do things that help like exercise and forest bathing. Be patient and kind with yourself. It will get better. Love and prayers from a Seattle mom.
I don't assume your name is wvxyq :) -- but THANK you for posting this. My daughter is going through the EXACT same things. First the video you commented to opened my eyes and allowed me to understand my daughter better. AMAZING! And then to read your comment and know that others are going through the same thing helped me immensely. THANK you for your comments and helping me understand this problem and hopefully come to a resolution. What helped you overcome these anxieties? My first step is to block all her social media. Even as an adult I found myself with many anxieties because I was watching too much news and saw so many negative things happening in the world...aka Biden. OK - I won't get political, but I will say one more time THANK you for your post.
I’m sending you my best wishes. ❤❤ you can survive this and you will feel better. And you can make friends ❤
@@TG-gb7bk Knowing that my comment has helped you makes me so happy. What has helped the most has been meditation, reducing screen time and being more mindful of the things I'm consuming on social media and sleeping more. I also try to make sure I go on a walk every day even if it's just for five minutes. Reading more about anxiety and learning about it has also helped a lot since I am now able to calm myself down when I feel a wave of anxiety taking over my thoughts; I try to repeat myself that this will pass and that I can't let the anxiety win. Also, doing things that motivate me like listening to cheerful songs or buying tickets for concerts, for me, it's like saying to myself that i have to keep pushing myself so I can feel well for the concert. I'm also going to Europe for a month and being able to manage my anxiety before I leave is my top priority right now. I recommend trying to understand the source of the anxiety and dealing with it instead of avoiding it. Sending a virtual hug 💌
do you purposely release these at 2am bc you know people who have anxiety are usually up all night? 😅😂❤❤
:) I meant to publish at 12PM but accidentally scheduled it for 12AM haha
I sleep well all night. Tho I do get up to use the bathroom
@@TherapyinaNutshell Emma please what can I do I am afraid for my own body wich dose not work well. Something with my hart longs and stomic. I can not breath for a second when that happens so I think I dead. I can not bare it anymore. Please give me some hope!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’m in Australia so midnight for you is a good time for me!
@@janethansen9612 lol i thought maybe she was in a different time zone which would definitely make sense! 😉
I agree. Avoidance is the cause of so many of my problems. But I keep doing it. I get into trouble with people all the time bc of this. But the thing is, I can stop avoiding but I don't because I can't, I'm unwilling, I'm lazy, I feel dread whenever I think of it, I sit in front of the computer pleading with myself to do the work, I bang my head against the table top, pomodoro, breaking the task into small pcs, and ..... everything else. I'm torn between self-loathing and self-compassion.
feeling you, your not alone :)
Sounds like ADHD. (Coming from someone whose psychiatrist highly suspects that I have ADHD myself; I am dx Autistic, and could very well be AuDHD.)
I’m exactly the same. It’s shrunk my world horribly. I lost my fiancé and possibly best friend because it’s been so bad. No idea how to improve
I'm sick of psychology calling everything a disorder. When will someone define what ORDER is supposed to be?
That is a hard place to be in :/ maybe start with very, very small steps towards what matters. And ask for help ♡
Vigorous exercise is a GREAT way to stop fearing the anxiety. I joined athletic group sessions in the gym, and essentially it is the same andrenaline that you get from exercise as from anxiety, and when you do it again and again and it feels good and positive, next time you experience anxiety, your body is very familiar with that, and you feel like it's the same positive thing happening to your body. You might even feel brave rather than anxious. However, it is not helping the thinking part of the brain, nor does it help calm the fight-or-flght response. So you still need to solve the root problem. It's just that you wouldn't have anxiety of anxiety anymore
Thankyou for explaining that. Really clicked in my mind
I don't even have to watch this video to know that one of the ways in which I'm avoiding anxiety is by watching this video
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
@@lilianazuluaga6504Yes, dr.sporesss
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
@@eddiejohn8506Is he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
It’s 2am and I’m stuck in alarm and I love these videos so so much. Thank you!
👋
this adds a good explanation to why young people have so much anxiety. the younger generations are able to do so much more of this avoidance than older generations.
and yes the world is safer than it was, but all danger shows up on our phones 24/7.
you basically just clarified all my theories … and it’s going to get worse and worse as we do less physical tasks related to our survival
I’m hugely struggling with anxiety atm and have to wait almost a year to see a therapist… These videos have been so helpful, if anything a reminder that I won’t always feel this way. Thank you 🙏
I’ve dealt with on and off panic and anxiety disorder ever since going through a bad earthquake in college. It triggered awful panic attacks and now 28 years later it’ll creep up on me every now and then after periods of really doing well! Your videos have been totally a game-changer for me. I prayed tonight that the Lord would help me get the victory then I found you. Thank you for taking the time, energy and care to go into such detail. I was in the middle of another really bad day and just watching this video and understanding the WHY behind the anxiety has brought calm (along with a few of the great techniques I have now learned).
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH 😭😭
Thank you! You may be an "influencer", but you are one of the rare POSITIVE influencers.
Some anxiety is based around real fears , we make bad decisions and suffer because of them. Anxiety can be caused by real threats that have to be dealt with, anxiety is a very unpleasant state. Nobody wants it, and it is necessary to reduce the amount felt.
my anxiety isn't based on news at all, but what's around me. i have an aggressive cat, i work in retail, taking the subway everyday is super uncomfortable. and i'm pretty sure crime is at an all time high in NYC. the first week i moved to my new neighborhood there was a shooting on my train and the train was out all day. it took me over 3 hrs to get to work that day and it normally took me just under an hr. i live in brooklyn now. I used to live in midtown manhattan but had to move because of covid. everything just seems fucked this days. pardon my french.
This is fascinating. When something negative happens to my kids, i get this urgent feeling to make sure they tak about it so it doeant become a monster in their mind. Also, if they get hurt to do that activity again immediately so they remember it not hurting them, too. Sounds similar to the method of getting back to safety
You are a great parent.
Damn! Wish my other felt that way! She threatened to kick me out if I ever talked about it again, and she means it! When I NEED to talk about it! ;A; Your kids are so lucky! I'm glad they have you!
Anxiety and depression is rampant in our society largely because of how inequitable it has become. So many people are just overwhelmed with trying to afford housing, healthcare, and the rest. So much "mental illness" is rooted in this.
That’s me! My rent is $2450. If I did not have a spouse and roommates, I’d be living in my car. That’s extremely anxiety inducing. I’m 60, no heath insurance, big pension or savings. 😢
💯
@@romeysiamese6662 have you considered moving overseas?
@@EB-gt1pq hi. I wouldn't rule it out.
Thank you for breaking things into simple to understand, actionable steps. So grateful ❤
Emma, your videos have helped me to better understand so much about the anxiety and fears I’ve carried and just settled with for years. Thank you for using your gifting to help so many people. God bless you!
Thank you very much for your videos. I have learned a lot from them. I am going through the ”How to process emotions”-series. My new motto is ”Kan man lära hjärnan att må dåligt kan man lära den att må bra också” - ”If you can teach the brain to feel bad, you can teach it to feel well too”. Greetings from Sweden🙂
As someone with diagnosed avoidant personality disorder, this is very insightful. Even after years, in and out of therapy, still learning new stuff. Thank you!
Just found your channel. I’m a therapist too and looking for new tools and different language. I just wanna say you have such a GREAT way you explain our human operating processes in such a usable way. I just love all your work on here. I’ll be sending videos to my clients for sure, as reinforcements and clear instructions they can keep and use. So goooood!
Thank you so much for this video! This helped me identify what I’ve been avoiding which is creating anxiety and actual physical pain in my body. Wow!
Thank you for this helpful video. Anxiety also comes from a sense of helplessness. Indeed there is much about living in this world that leaves one feeling powerless. It helps me to remember that there are only so many things under my control and to focus on those things. Thoughts and feelings are some of the things that we can learn, through practice, to control. Intention, effort and patience are wonderful tools for achieving calm. 🙏
You are hands down the best therapist I have heard on RUclips! Thank you for all that you do!
Thanks so much 😊
@@TherapyinaNutshell do you have any videos on long covid/hormone issues causing extreme anxiety? I’m 37 and lived in mold and then got covid twice. It’s been a nightmare…my nervous system is constantly pitching a fit. I’m brain retraining but now that allergy season is here in Georgia I’m having an immune response that isn’t so kind.
I really really appreciate that you went over different scenarios. I find that even thinking about not studying for a hypothetical test makes me anxious. I'm definitely an all or nothing kind of person, so when I'm studying, I tend to overdo it. I see it as if I stop studying, that automatically equals failure. Thank you so much for adding a scenario where you can overdo it, and make yourself more anxious in the long run. It opened my eyes.
I’ve been through hell, people wouldn’t believe my story of trauma ptsd..Exercise, eating healthy, reading bible and td jakes sermons on youtube helps the most!
You just described me and my life! I’ve been avoiding for thirty years! I need help!
How and what have you been avoiding for 30 years?
I’ve been avoiding longer than that and I avoid more stuff every year to the point my world is getting smaller and smaller .
I've never imagine myself dropping out of school, but because of anxiety, I did. I said, I'll find a job but I avoided it for four months after dropping out. I finally got my first ever job interview this day and I failed it. I got sad, but I'm still willing to try again. I'm scared of riding public transportations or even buying goods from convenience store or supermarket. This video helps me a lot to understand myself better. I'll charge in, head first.
I really resonate with this comment because I was genuinely really close to dropping school because I was so terrified of being outside.
What helps me is plenty of sleep, working out and supplements (L-theanine, b complex vitamins, omega 3, choline and inolsitol, essential vitamins
Thank u for publishing these videos Emma. Your voice, the background music, the lights, everything works perfectly making the negative voices stop, and listen with me. I wish you all the good in this world ❤ God bless u.
I understand the idea of facing your anxiety. I get digestive issues that make it hard for me to get out there. I try to be prepared before leaving the house just in case.Always need to know if bathroom is handy. I keep trying though.
please keep trying!
Wow, this is very helpful. I was diagnosed with anxiety a while ago, but when 2020 happened I definitely went into full "avoidance mode" and have had to work to break out of that. I had other traumas happen between 2021-2022 that didn't help and most likely reinforced this behaviour. Thank you for this video!
This is also amazing for me as a mom. Im constantly helping my daughter solve problems, like climbing the stairs (with help), or talking them through their big feelings.
These videos have helped me massively to deal with my anxiety and stress. I needed that in the last couple of days.
yes but ....1) not enough sleep 2) caffiene and stimulants (any of it) causing sleep impairment, and/or other drugs causing sleep impairment 3) shitty sleep (you're eating before bed or sleeping somewhere noisy or both,) 4) insufficient physical inactivity
much of anxiety is related to the physiological sleep circuitry. and is subtle.
YES you are so right about this. This would cure 90% of anxiety
And yet not enough affordable resources available to help with sleep disorders
Listenting to this as a podcast while being lucky enough to go outside and enjoy the morning air really helps tbh. And this specific video about avoidance is one of the vids more people need to see because, as mentioned, it got to the point where many people who do use avoidance and procrastination do it automatically and it takes a bit more effort to break the habit.
This is the best content on mental health help I have ever come across !
Honestly most of my anxiety comes from dealing with our very broken medical system. Insurance is a joke and they will happily destroy your life if you actually need them.
True, facts💯
Yes....💯
Dr bills cause me a TON of anxiety & insurance is a joke. They r out to make money off of our fears of something bad happening. If we were smart; we would put the money we spend in a special savings acct (& leave it there), so when something bad happens...we have the $ to pay those bills ourselves. Instead of making Insurance Companies rich. 🤔
I think I just solved my own problem. 😂
So practical! Thanks for making things so much easier to understand and giving me hope that I can improve and have less anxiety.
Yesterday, I was anixous about going home because something shameful and embarrassing happened in the weekend. I faced it. I cried and screamed when I remembered things, but now I feel safe-ish again in my own home.
I've realized that I've been avoiding everything my whole life and it has cost me everything. I avoided making friends. I stopped dating from the fear of heartbreak. I avoided so many "scary places", so thank you for helping me start to break this self-destructive cycle.
You are such a blessing Emma! Thank you for putting so much time and effort into these insightful videos. They truly are very helpful! ❤
Thankyou for this, your knowledge helped me so much this morning. Love your true knowledge and how you make it understandable. Thanks again❤
What an amazing channel!!! I’ve only just found you. You are so good, I feel really safe listening to you. Thank you for your brilliant RUclips channel
Can we also talk about how hormonal issues make you more prone to anxiety?
Agreed 👍
Please!!
I was going to mention this. Perimenopause has done a number on me. I'm sure she'll talk about it and I can't wait.
I am suffering from chronic anxiety, stress and insomnia but my fear is real because I am living it right now since I had COVID and developed long COVID symptoms that was 3 years ago and I know there’s not cure but I thought at that time there’s going to be help to reduce some symptoms I was wrong so and I am talking about physical health condition and not founding anyone who do that. I needed to start taking care of myself not knowing a lot and looking everywhere what’s going on and what to do quickly I learned about cortisol and little by little I learned enough now it seems I know more of why and I am doing everything I can bit I depend also on help from anyone outside but until now I haven’t and I am alone fighting for my life and it seems nobody care because they don’t believe me or they don’t how. So tell how can I reduce my anxiety, stress fear and insomnia. And I don’t have amygdalae’s which I just learned today the importance of them
@@sirenagarrido3836there is a cure!!!! Look up CFS Recovery (Miguel) brain retraining and relaxing your nervous system is what cures it. Did you have anxiety before covid? I have long covid and brain retraining is helping me. Yes, we have to take care of ourselves by eating healthy and being active. I have POTS, extreme allergies and more issues but it can all be cured and regulated with brain retraining and taking care of yourself. Awareness is the first step. I had so much stress and didn’t realize it. I recognize the irrational fears now so we have to challenge and calm our nervous system. COVID messes with the nervous system, we can calm it!
I just looked up videos about anxiety tonight because I’ve been having a really tough time and cycle of it. Find it so calming and relieving to just better understand how the mind works regarding anxiety, and simple behaviors like avoidance which actually make it worse. I’m gonna work to actively stop avoiding things in the future lol.
Ive been diagnosed with Agoraphobia 5 yrs ago. I really appreciated the avoidance explanation. Thats exactly how it happened. Unfortunately
You are very sincere and very generous dear Emma
one of the things that has kept me on an anxiety loop is my inclination towards reading the latest news, and as she said, most news out there on the internet are negative in order to generate more views.
Thank you for this amazing service and teaching that helps and can reach so many people! You have helped me understand my brain and body and how to handle stress, anxiety, fears and feeling of doom, and I am very grateful for having found your channel. Without it, it would have taken me longer to know where to begin change and mental health journey, and as a student with not much money to spare, your work is a very good tool and therapy I can go to when in need. Brilliant job!! Thank you
I just discovered your channel because I feel a lot of anxiety lately, and it's getting worse since... So thank you so much helping us understand why we do feel that kind of emotions. It's very interesting !
Thank you for doing this Emma. God Bless You.
This video is gold to me! The way you put our modern problems into words blew me away! Thank you very very very much! ❤️
I am so thankfull you are putting all this content here, you truly are a heartfelt person
This video, out of all anxiety videos I've watched, spoke to me the most. I've been a big "avoider" all my life and it has turned me into an anxious adult. What I thought was playing safe my whole life unwittingly made me quick to avoid any perceived threat.
WOW EMMA! This one is such an eye opener for me.! Thankyou so much.
Excellent Vid- Thank you. I don't even realize how small avoiding affects my life trajectory.
Wonderful, thank you. I think you may underestimate massive underemployment and insecure forms of work, and therefore the fact that increasing numbers of people in fairly affluent societies work under constant fear of losing their job. Sometimes that fear is used as a management tool. The upshot? That anxiety is a rational responses to real structural uncertainties / danger. 🙏🏻
عندما يظهر عليك القلق لا تتجنبه ولا تشت نفسك ، لتجنب ذلك اسمح لقلقك بالتواجد
اجلس مع مشاعرك واختر افعالك .
اذا كان لديك مهمه اعمل بها لا تصرف انتباهك بالقيل والقال واي امور ملهمي ابدء
و الحياة مستمره لن تتوقف على اي امر .
قلقك ناتج من خوفك ايام الصغر أن هناك خطر الأن أنت تصطيع معرفة الامور الخطيره من عدمه اذا لم يكن هذا الامر لن تتوقف الحياة ، بإمكانك إتخاذ قراراتك و انت المسئول عنها وانت الذي يتحمل نتائجها لن يوبخك أحد على تصرفك و أفعالك اتجاه نفسك .
This makes a lot of sense actually. I feel better when i limit my media input. I take social media breaks often.
I learn so much when watching this video. Thanks
this made me realize that I avoid anxiety by trying to finish tasks as soon as possible, because I don't want to feel anxious about wether I can do them or not
OMG THIS IS WHERE IM AT RIGHT NOW!! I get triggered really easily my climate news, especially fire and heat (probably some past trauma there but anyway). I do everything I can to be the most environmentaly friendly human I can be....but then i FEEL like im not doing enough. So i stop eating and using electricity and not buying ANYTHING with packaging (which being in northern ontario is kinda impossible). So then i feel even worse because im starving my body so now it physically feels like somethings wrong and doesnt process properly. So i get in this "do something about this!" And follow by "i cant". And when i try to avoid the thoughts, my mind tells me im part of the problem. And down and down I go.
Your videos on understanding your emotions and how to view your thoughts have, no joke, been life changing. And i shared them with my dad who has struggled with anxiety and also being empathic and hsp like me. You have helped him and his wife too. Thank you thank you thank you for being you and sharing this information with the world.🙏❤
I'm believing for God to help me break free ,to heal me ,give me the courage to take the steps I must to overcome and break all these cycles off.
This is how I handle conflict or uncertainty when a boundary was crossed., when I started dating. I didn't feel fearful. But I did start not wanted to do things i loved!!
Avoidance basically sums up why my anxiety is so intense… I meditate, do vagus nerve exercises- I jump at the doorbell now- I need to find a way to reset my nervous system 😢
Your channel is such a blessing. 🙏🏽 Thank you so much for taking the time to help others in such a way that gives us the tools to help ourselves. 🤍 This information is as important as ever.
Great examples and very relatable. Thank you for setting us up for success by doing what you do. It's great 😊
Thank you for talking about this - I got myself into such a state from avoidance a few years ago, but it got so bad that I was forced to start dealing with all the rocks in my backpack one by one. I got to a stage where I couldn't function in normal society anymore... It took several years to get back to my normal...
Thank you very much Emma from S.Korea, you're so helpful to me and my life!
I truly appreciate your channel and informative content. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us! I think I speak for fellow anxious people- because we really want to learn how to combat anxiety.
This reminds me a bit of the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. I keep coming back to it.
This video is amazing!!! You explain everything in such a great and easy way! Thank you 🙏🙏🌟
Thank you so much for these videos. I have GAD and can see now that I do avoid things. Very insightful, thanks again.
Your point on physical resolution really resonated with me and I think I finally understand why I sometimes find myself wanting a more physical than cerebral work.
You are an angel. Truly. Just sense your kindness. ❤️
Amazingly insightful video on anxiety avoidance and 'closing the anxiety loop'. Finally understood the reason behind my various anxiety issues. Thank-you very much. ❤❤❤
I had a lot of fear and anxiety at school. But that was because I could have got a good beating or worse at any moment. I saw it happen to other people. Violence was always present and no-one did anything about it.
I Use To have Stress And worry and you help me not have Thoughts and stress and worry thank you so much to help us with anxiety Please put more because I love your videos your videos are so helpful please put more
I avoid because
- i'm afraid of makign mistakes (what if i waste my time doing the wrong thing - so i end up doing nothing)
- i'm afraid of facing reality that I've been so complacent in life and that I've been left behind
- I'm afraid of being exposed as weak or incapable (because i have this ego which got so much intertwined to my identity)
I'm sorry if this sounded pessimistic. I'm really working on my mindset a lot this time. This fear is really the biggest obstacle I have and it's really robbing me away of the opportunities. I really got so used to reasoning and finding ways to stay in the safe zone. I mean, I'm a very resourceful person, but I've just been using it the wrong way haha.
But the only way is through it. I just need to find effective ways of dealing with these fear and avoidance. And this channel has always been my go to. Thank you Emma
"what if I DID make mistake?" "What if I WAS left behind?" "what if I WAS thought of as incapable by someone?". Imagine a sense of safety in spite of these events, and a sense of warmth that could still survive through these events. The more ways you have to fuel this safety, the better.
Love the videos! They are so informative. Thanks!
Closing the loop is a good concept. I like to do it through yoga. Its been helpful. Great job thank you ❤❤❤🎉
The most valuable YT video I have seen this year!! Wow.
Great content and delivery. These paradoxical avoidance strategies were not obvious.
Thank you for this insight, really appreciate your videos! ❤🧠
Thank you for the video.
This is so helpful as it’s so practical and to the point with a lovely clear explanation, thank you 😊
I got rid of my TV maybe 5 years ago. News only show depressing and catastrophic information from all around the world. It was depressing me first thing in the morning. I am happy that I did it. My own life gives me enough anxiety, I don't need extras.
You just described me in a nutshell. Lol. Seriously it’s like being in jail in your own body and mind.
This was extremely helpful, it reminds me how much I avoid, which is upsetting me but the first step is acceptance. I am facing a surgery which I’m afraid of, for months I just said I wouldn’t have the surgery and now it can’t be avoided. I see how my avoidance isn’t helpful. Ugh.
I’ve been going through panic attacks , anxiety and depression due to a traumatic event that I was abuse by a man that took place 4 months ago I’m struggling I constantly worry and fear of dying every day. Every little thing that I hear or feel on my body sends me into that flight or fight response I don’t take any medications I felt like I been on a lot and they don’t work I feel like this a mind over matter thing so I’m trying to do it myself but your videos are awesome
Connections are when we know about each other's lives. Connections are our safety net. It's about survival. The more know where we are, what we might be doing, if we could be in trouble, the more secure we are. If we are missing they will look for us. If we are sad, they will want to know why. Anxiety is the mind's way to urge us to make connections. What goes wrong in our society is too few will connect with those around them who are really in need of that. So the only thing to do is try to find some way to compensate. Anxiety is not bad.
Wow. Just wow. Amazing explanation. Thank you Emma ❤
Side point. I haven't watched this channel for some time, but I'm loving the look. Very surfer, chilled out vibes 👌✨️
I use to get anxiety at employers building where I would tense up and it affected my BP and my balance walking. After many years of that mess, I am totally ok with working remote and avoiding that.
The more I thought about this after listening a little, the more I had to respond. 1) Autistic people tend to have more anxiety, some of it being from painful stimuli and some of it being from very real traumatic events such as constant rejection and extreme verbal abuse, poverty, etc. relating to being autistic. Forcing oneself to go to a concert or a place where the noise level or strobe lights makes you want to vomit, or where you have a complete meltdown, doesn't fix anxiety. It only makes it worse. Yes, you can push through sometimes, but eventually you'll either shut down or melt down. 2) I also have CPTSD. When you have autistic traits AND grow up in a constantly tense environment, you stay tense. It takes a lot of work to ever feel safe. True, you can't give in to irrational anxiety, but you have to make wise choices. If your issue is religious trauma, then going back to that same church is going to traumatize you even more, because you're still walking that same path. Avoid that church (or group, or person) like the plague and find somewhere healthier. 3) I found EMDR to be somewhat effective in anxiety. 4) Also effective was personal work in getting to the real root of the anxiety (which is difficult sometimes, because it's hard for some of us to understand our own emotions) and verbalizing it. Sometimes just identifying the root cause hidden in the unconscious and verbalizing it was enough to rob the anxiety of its power. 5) I'd also say that a person who rejects his or her Self, or who feels disconnected with his or her identity, or who has some deep and painful secret (even if in the unconscious) will feel anxiety, even if that anxiety is deeply suppressed. All of these things have to be dealt with, and sometimes this is neither easy nor pleasant. 6)Of course physical issues such as blood sugar and thyroid problems have to be considered as well. Sometimes a good, high-protein meal and avoiding things like MSG, caffeine, or artificial sweeteners will do more to help with anxiety than all the counseling in the world.
I love watching these vids. You are so talented doing what your doing. Thank you
Not always what someone wants to hear, but that's how it is. One exceptation maybe: If you're suffering from physical or addiction-related health issues, it can be hard to get rid of the anxiety by acting it out. Even then it's worth to try out moving your body to some extent, though. But don't expect that it does wonders right away. Take good care in that cases by balancing action, relaxation, reading about solutions and taking breaks (doing whatever individuality calms you down).
Hey Emma! I've been following this lesson plan and really getting wonderful results from it. I've been reviewing my notes and in this video at around 11:53 you give advice on doing more things physically. I'm having trouble understanding what that means.
-When you say do dangerous stuff intentionally do you mean like extreme sports or is there something more available to the average person that we can do?
-What do you mean by solving physical problems? Can you give me an example or two?
- How do you physically solve a mistake or help someone physically solve a mistake?
Thank you!
Thank you as I am offered unappealing work after a time away from formal employment
Good stuff! Ordered your work book. Keep the videos coming. Nice presentations.
Thanks, this really helps a lot! Hope you could make one related to pain from illness. Like anxiety due to pain on nerve because of spine problem or any diseases that develop anxiety. Hope you make one it. Thanks