Finding Your Why - The First Step to Dealing With Anxiety - Anxiety Course Day 1/30
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
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Many people just want their anxiety to go away. They just don’t want to feel it. They imagine that if they didn’t feel anxious, their lives would be so much better and so they set that as their goal. “My goal is to not feel so anxious”. But when your goal is to feel less of something, you essentially have to cut something out of your life, and the problem with that is that your world shrinks, it becomes more miserable, and then your anxiety actually grows.
The only way to make your anxiety go away completely is to avoid the things you care about in life. Just like those kids who decided to not audition, if your only goal is to “feel less” - to feel less sad, to feel less stress - then you’ll end up shrinking your life away.
Instead, in this course I’m going to teach you how to get better at feeling. Yes, your anxiety will most likely decrease. But way more importantly, the goal of this course is to make your life awesome again. To fill your life with the things you care about- the people and experiences that you’ve cut out, the dreams and accomplishments that you’re afraid to try, to bring richness and joy back to your day instead of worry and fear.
The difference between anxiety and an anxiety disorder is not severity, it’s how your response impacts your functioning.
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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My goals:
•Set my boundaries firm for good
•Be consistent with things related to my career and make progress
•be more present and less disassociated
Hello muskan .. r u from india ?
My goals for this course are to learn how to manage anxiety in a healthy way so that it doesn’t disrupt my ability to function anymore, to trust my friends at their word more instead of reading into the small details of their word choices and behaviors so that I can feel more comfortable connecting with them on a more meaningful level, and to act in spite of my anxiety without my actions causing me to overthink even more so that I can connect with more people and learn how to be more authentic.
I enjoy listening to you. You make sense. Dealing with the physical symptoms that come with anxiety makes it hard to change. I've learned to perceive by telling myself I'm okay, I'm safe. God says be courageous and strong for I'm with you. Thanks for your videos.
That's good. I like that last part. I think that will help me too so thank you for sharing.
Anxiety is literally hell. I’m 66 years old now and disabled due to violence. I had to go into hiding to protect my friends and family. Now all are gone. I get trauma sweats with anxiety I feel like my body is so hot it’s going to burst into flames and this is at its very worst each time I wake up from sleeping. I would sure appreciate you doing a video on this or addressing me here in the comments. Thank you❤
That is a horrible feeling when you first wake up. I went through that for years myself but for a different reason. It helped me to rock myself back and forth on my side in bed. And if I really couldn't stand it, I would get up and pace. Movement helped. Even though I was really exhausted, like my soul was so tired, but movement still helped. It will get better with time, gradually, not all of a sudden one day, but a little bit better day after day. God Bless.
How about if the underlying cause of the night sweats and resulting anxiety is hormonal (menopause?)
Little late but my anxiety doesnt come from me worrying about myself, it comes from me worrying about the suffering of EVERYTHING else. Yaaaa so my anxiety comes from not having control usually.
Goals:
- to accept the things i cant change
- learn to trust in others to do the right thing
- to trust in the way of the world and let it be
my goals:
- to stop imagining the worst possible scenarios , especially about my health. Have the biggest fear that something is wrong with me, like I'm going mad or I'm about to faint.
- to stop avoiding 'bad' emotions that like sadness and grief feeling like I'll stuck in the forever
I've been anxious since my teenage years. And it got completely out of control during and after lockdown. So, I'll remind myself:
I won't avoid people, places and situations anymore. I'm not scared, anymore.
I knew from 14 that I had anxiety but I had no idea years later (now 25) how much it would hinder my life. I thought I was just a shy, weak or depressed person but I realize that's not the case. I'm extremely capable of doing things it's just this underlying fear that holds me back. There are so many things that I've put on the back burner because of anxiety such as dating, travelling, freelancing, etc. At least I have more clarity now on why I behave the way I do and find solutions to help me with social situations.
Anxiety has robbed me of my life.
Me too 😢
@@AfrohairliciousMe too.
Me too.
Me too. I’m 72 now and spent $$$$$$$ on therapy over the years.
Yeah mine too but we can fight back .
At 64 I now have tinnitus which is untreatable, it has taken my anxiety through the roof! ENT says no treatment and common. have suffered major depression my entire life alongside PTSD, no this! I am at my wits end, therapy has been a dead end for various reasons and it is exhausting to keep trying! so many people take drugs or use alcohol to numb their anxiety, I haven’t but wish I could at times because it is just TOO much! So I finally tell people I am not ok, then they give me their lists of issues and diminish my needs, this is why I stay within myself!
Have you had your B12 levels checked? Wondering because of the tinnitus. I had issues with that for a short time and B12 is what fixed it. Obviously it could be something else, but it's a fairly easy thing to check.
My goals;
-to understanding my anxiety
-to have more tools to not let it control my actions
-a new perspective
My goals:
I want to be more self confident and better with people
I want to be able to protect myself and set boundaries.
I want to deal better with envy and negativity
I want to stop letting anxiety and negative thoughts limit me and feed me with lies
I want to develop a growth mindset
I want to feel comfortable with myself and with others like me
My goal: Getting better at identifying and feeling my feelings, accepting them and living with them in balance. Getting better at having enough distance to the situation and letting the story behind the triggers proceed through me, as opposed to me focussing on it. And as you said so well: I want to make my life wonderful, awesome, in its truest sense. I want to bring richness and joy back into my day instead of worry and fear. ❤❤❤
I feel alive when I am studying well, when I know nothing bad will happen, when I am facing challenges well, when I have a beautiful system of life - w thoughts actions and good habits. I feel alive when I have people and good friends to talk to - maybe one Anu as well😊
I didn't know I had anxiety. I'm a senior and I thought I had a medical problem for most of my life. Doctors would ask if I was depressed or anxious, but I'd say truthfully "Not that I'm aware of". I would ask for tests to be run; most came back normal or at least not serious, so I DID push on, I DID "tolerate it" and face it all like you say. And now it's gotten SO unbearable over the past couple of weeks that I have physically collapsed and in trying to describe the pain I realize damn, this IS anxiety. I can't relax, I can't unwind, I have the jitters all the time, even when I go to bed, and have to strictly ration my energy. At this point I'm not entirely sure that "getting out and living my best life" is a good idea as I feel like I am in the final stages of a progressive disease.
Thank goodness for content that doesn’t cost a fortune. This is the issue with majority of people not getting help. In a perfect world we would all be warm and welcoming to strangers and people. You should be able to talk to anyone, anywhere.
Dear Emma, I’ve been following your channel for a long time now and I’ve learned so much from you!!
The best thing I’ve done for myself in the process is picking up tapdancing… it’s a FUN activity that has really helped me a LOT with my overall balance…
Thank you! ❤
What lights me up is "serendipity"-a wonder, a discovery, and some kind of miracle that are priceless. As someone who has a world of "what ifs" in their head, I experience extreme joy when I encounter a moment of luck that was unimaginable before.
To encounter that, I have to expand my world. I agree that my world is narrow; it has little space for dreams and discovery. Not only that, but I also have to be lost often. A wonder is something extraordinary, and to make it stand out, it has to be presented among ordinary, common things. Anxiety limits my space to go out, to be lost, and to discover simultaneously.
I experienced anxiety in my early teens that I cannot describe as ordinary anxiety. It was intense and I believe it was part of mental illness triggered by environment. I couldn't think myself out of it.
I’ve experienced this. Did it get better when you left?
@@hummingbird4934 I was too young to leave home, so I had short-term treatment at the time which improved my anxiety.
More confidence. Enjoy myself more and stop over caring. Reading into everything projecting and more secure. Lots of goals.
My whole life, i was scared of doing a lot of things. Because i would worry people would judge me. I would even stop socializing with people of how worried of judgements i was. I stopped chasing my dreams because of anxiety. Anxiety ruined my life
I have chronic anxiety on an hourly basis. The only thing that has helped is literally constantly taking deep breathes. I have to constantly redirect and remind myself to take deep breathes. But it is helping
My goal is to diffuse the anxiety and see it for what it is so that, while acknowledging there may be something of concern, that if I can handle it to do so, and if I can't do anything about it to acknowledge it when I get there. It (the thought causing the anxiety) may not even happen. Also, to diffuse the anxiety from turning into a freeze or panic situation, to take away it's power.
My goal would be how to learn to move past the "stuck" feeling I have caused by anxiety. I can read all the mental health books in the world, consistently work with the various skills, strategies, but in the end I always find myself at the end of "the swimming pool ladder 25 feel in the air" and I turn around and walk back down the ladder.
My Goals:
Find out what’s causing my anxiety .
Stop constantly thinking about anxiety 24/7.
Stop getting in my head.
Accept the past and move on.
Stop doubting myself and putting myself down.
Build confidence.
Start working again.
My goal is to think about my words before I say them, so I can make friends without hurting them, and make make the people I live with happy again.
Goal: Stop overthinking; Stop believing that I can control things but rather accept the flow of life and hope for the best; and just break the mental shackles of my brain that was wired erroneously, but I believe it can be re-wired, slowly, but it can. Thank you immensely for this Emma!
I am so grateful to have discovered your work.
Goals-
1)Stop overthinking and hurting my close ones because of it, not trusting anyone cause there's always a fear that people r gonna leave
2)Stop worrying about speaking my mind, thinking maybe my friends don't like me now, cause i gave an opinion which is different from their opinion
3)Don't feel overwhelmed after and before a task, it robs it of joy
4)self love
Goals: Find safety internally so I don't have to be constantly anxious. Believe that I can ask for help while still being independent too. Last is learn inner peace, relaxation and see all of the day not just the negative stuff.
Lately I've been having panic attacks which I thought were due to medication after my cataract surgery but now I realize that the problem was in my head. What I'm beginning to realize is that I have anxiety responses to just about anything medical or any small or large illness. I believe this is a trauma response to having had several operations and the last operation 5 years ago to remove my left upper lobe because of lung cancer (non-smoker). I've been NED (no evidence of disease) for 2+ years now. My goal is to enter (or reenter) life fully again. To not live in fear of another medical event. To get more involved socially.
my goal is to be more productive and happy. I can never seem to do both at the same time.
After 20 years of teaching and being great at it, I get anxiety when I think of taking on the responsibility of my own classroom or even assisting on a regular basis. I am training teachers and helping in other ways. When I go in to model and assist I am fine, but the thought of full time teaching gives me anxiety attacks and stops me. It has been 3 years since I have taught. 😢
My why is because I have been struggling with anxiety for quite a long time now, and I have been trying to find out how to make my way through.. I have been blaming myself for not being able to commit or for procrastination, for trying always to run when things get loud and blaming myself when others continue easily.. thinking that my need for a calm place more often is a childish behavior that is seeking to run of responsibility ..just lately, I discovered the H.S.P term ..all that fog cleared ..inaccepted my true nature and who I am and I am here now to learn how to cope with it, and use it rather than losing things and life because of it ..
My goals:
To gain confidence to be able to go to interviews and get back to work and be happy again
My goals:
stop dissociating
get my life on track
be close to my family and friends
Mine came from being undiagnosed ADHD for over 45 years (51 now). I was ripped apart verbally by many others as well as by myself for decades. Even though I am older and rationalize at a much better level, now. I still fight those voices when failure comes in public places.
Thanks for this video , usually I go walk on barefoot to stay away from anxiety, I report to mother earth for protection, for comfort.
Be in tune see the reality calm mood is needed don’t be so nervous in thoughts and what if
I had been off work 8 months from a shattered wrist and waited and waited to get it removed and the anxiety got worse so I cancelled removal of metal…went to work part time…didn’t expect to wake up in the middle of the nite with it….this is the first time in over two years I am stuck and I cry trying to alleviate it
Thank you very much Emma!! It's really useful to be reminded of our gains and losses of allowing anxiety to control our life and our reactions to it
I imagine a life where i am self sufficient with my puppy and helping animals at the vet.
Thank you so much for putting this information out for free. What a blessing. Keep up the great work shining your light- it's making a difference!
I've come to acknowledge anxiety is the one feeling I still struggle with to this day. Somehow others like anger or sadness I've gotten better at feeling, but anxiety still feels overall too overwhelming and do not have such a rich vocabulary to define nuances because all I want is to run away.
I think it has to do with my feelings growing up and taking that discomfort as a gut feeling or safe sign that I needed to escape, however that is not the complete picture and I'm learning this can mean other things like excitement/involvement, and that it overall is not an all-or-nothing indicator of danger/uncertainty but more like a thermometer you can use to gauge different situations.
It made me addicted to bad habits , cut off all my friends , social isolation and social anxiety (it’s been 2 years of high school )
My goals
Be calm
Be confident
Emma, just when I thought I didn’t need another 30 day (emotions ) course, you put this out. THANK you, avoidance is why I’m wasting my time, days, months years ReThinking 2nd guessing.. never starting.
Goals:
- trust my body again, like a worry free child that just lives in the moment not worrying about whether they're breathing good enough
- take up responsibilities for my actions and not let myself drown in self-pity, anxiety and guilt
- accept the reality of me and everyone going to die and maybe even become excited for the bliss, rest when it's time.
Emma thank you for the work you are putting in and for the information and knowledge you are exposing us to, it means a world to us. Please keep up the good work
My goal is to change my mindset and overcome anxious thoughts.
My goal? I don’t want anxiety to rule my life. It’s tearing me apart. I don’t want to feel anxious all the time and hearing the beginning makes me more stressed and hopeless knowing I’m dooming myself
i want to deal with my own emotions better to achieve a well balance life, so i dont feel it's all about work and achievements or guilt/shame when i dont succeed. Learn to reframe my faulty thinking, accept my own core essence as foundation
At the moment I can't work, I'm finding it hard to cope. My life is getting sad and I want my old self again.
Goals for this course-
Get better at dealing with anxiety.
Making boundaries around anxious thoughts.
Do things that are valuable to me despite being scared.
Stop rushing through life and allow myself to be
Do it anyway, even when scared
My goal is to stop avoiding activities that I want to do.
I have very bad panic attacks that basically hit me out of nowhere. At work, at home, when I am with friends or doing my hobbies. All of a sudden it feels like I am dying any second.
I’ve been having those for years and there have always been periods of time where it was less severe. In the past I have avoided situations in which the panic unusually hit. It got even so bad that I didn’t go to work anymore.
Now I am back in an episode where the panic is almost unbearable. Multiple severe attacks a day. When working or driving or getting groceries, even when laying in bed watching TV. I don’t avoid any situations anymore in which they are more likely to occur… I still work my 9-10 hour days, drive my 1.5h commute. It sucks and all joy is gone. But I am doing everything I am supposed to do. And yet it’s not getting better.
So what am I supposed to do?
Enjoy my life everyday
Enjoy the small aspects
Enjoy my job again
Microdosing shrooms and tapping are good tools to help reduce anxiety. And another thing is to realize anxiety is a normal part of life (as long as it doesn’t paralyze you)
Go out in public without crippling anxiety. 2. Be less anxious around my family. 3. Be care free without the heavy weight on my mind
I would love to be able to control my anxiety and issues of perfection so that I could perform daily tasks with easy and more on a day to day.
I don't know if I have Anxiety problems or yes, I have a family member who has Anxiety problems. Their problems become mine. So I am actively making them watch your videos. Hopefully something clicks and they become aware. Then, I am willing to buy your workbook to help them.
Why am I here?
To understand more because I believe it will help me to cope with anxiety, and by coping I mean accepting.
My goal is to reduce my anxiety so that I don't avoid social situations and continue to isolate myself.
I have charged through whatever qualified as the Gen X version of anxiety for my entire life-doing crazy, dangerous things, pushing my comfort zone, entering into relationships with wide open heart. And, because of THAT, you get the criticism on the back end: “you sure were stupid at that party last night,” “you embarrassed us all by failing at [whatever]”, “you’re gonna die or be permanently paralyzed and no one will care or take care of you,” “your husband is going to leave you because you keep trying crazy things”. My husband assures me he won’t leave me and that he loves that about me, and I keep doing the crazy things, but now the anxiety comes AFTER the crazy things because I just don’t want to hear the snide comments from people about how they know everyone there thought I was stupid, embarrassing, rude, etc.
So, I guess my goals would be to be able to deal with snide comments afterwards without the anxiety of wondering if indeed, everyone thought I was stupid, foolish, embarrassing, etc.
I've had anxiety ever since I was a kid. I was shy, but I knew that wasn't who I really was. I had trouble having any opinion, but I knew that wasn't who I was.
My goals:
- build a healthier relationship with anxiety
- slow down my life and ask questions to anxiety
- allow myself to be imperfect and flawed
- learn how to create safety in my body
- express myself without hesitations as long as I am not harming others
My goal: stop avoiding being brave again and mantain calm and know what to do to avoid ir
Whew, girl!! This was spot on. Thank you for the clarity.
My goal is to overcome anxiety, depression, selfsabotage and to graduate
Hi Emma, would like to suggest adding chapter in your videos. It would be nice to see the flow/structure of the discussion in advance and makes it easy to replay those parts as well.
Goals:
-be ok with new things
-be more honest and open
-stop stressing about the small things
-being more carefree and relaxed
My goal is to get out of this quick sand, I am worried about what could happen
I'm attempting to make more room for love by handling anxiety.
המטרות שלי הן להחזיר סקרנות, הנאה ומוטיבציה לחיי. To bring back curiosity, fun and motivation into my life.
Anti-social after becoming sick, which created anxiety. inoperable brain tumor, no biopsy due to location -tactile plate tumor....just hope
I haven't cut out anything due to my anxiety but I am dealing with this everyday and I am dying here
I want to reduce my anxiety and stress level and calm myself to do thing more properly. I feel like I’m in the middle of a very noisy, crowded streets and don’t know where to go.
Watching your videos really helped me on how to deal with anxiety. Thanks ❤
I’m new dealing with anxiety and I just need to know what to do to make this a bit easier on me. I’m ruminating, I’m worrying about everything. I want a different relationship with anxiety. I can’t even stay at work because it’s taking over my life right now
Me toooooooooooooooo
Goals:
Stop overthinking
Stop stressing
Live happily
I don't feel depression results when your world gets smaller - I think freedom is just around the corner. Doing what you want doesn't lead to anxiety. Doing what you "don't" want is what triggers the anxiety. I think you have to cut out what doesn't work, and adopt what does work. It start by being brutally honest. What works for you, what doesn't. Answer that and you will minimize your anxiety attacks.
If anxiety was merely the result of mental phenomena one could experience the anxiety and eventually separate from it. In my experience, the mental stuff is not that important - its the physical stuff. When you are in the throws of a panic attack you just want to get away. I don't think you ever get away from this (flight or fight) completely. But you can take steps to minimize potential triggers for your anxiety. In my case I found adoptiing stoic principals was a big help. But utimatey, its that "brutal honesty" tactic that really helped me. Accept what you can, reject everything else. Work on the self image, and avoid situations that trigger your anxiety. Eventually, the triggers become less and less and your world does not shrink but expands as you succeed in making life decisions that support your true nature. One size does not fit all. You need to find the size that's right for you.
Anxiety is one thing - depression something else. In truth I don't understand depression. I don't think I have ever been depressed. I think there's a happy place inside each of us. Anxiety manifests when we leave that happy place - perhaps depression is simply a result of our reactions to being unable to meet the expectations of those around us. If that is true then work to cut silly external expectations and learn to thrill in your own ability to be who you are.
The truth is simple. Reality is simply whatever you make of it. That's the mental side of the equation. The physical side can be managed by simple accepting the fact that you are already "perfect" just as you are. There is nothing more needed. There is no place to go. There is nothing that needs to be done. So - why the depression. Rather than ruminate over impossible external forces which you have little control over, focus on your internal control, seek out what is true and what is good, and forget everything else. That is freedom. But you'll still panic the odd time because you can't stop being human, and "even" perfect in the context of we humans, doesn't mean we are machines and that we have perfect control. The process of self realization and freedom from anxiety and depression goes on as long as you are alive. Accept that. Perfection when applied to humans is an imperfect concept. Be yourself, live in the present, seek out truth and justice, and forgive your self from time to time. Don't let others provide the framework for you values. Trust yourself. Allow yourself the right to be you, and give others the same right. Avoid hypocrisy. Do not project your fears to others. Don't become what you despise. Live and let live. Get it?
Goals:
- Achieve a mental state where I'm not constantly paralyzed by overwhelm
- Remove dissociation coping mechanism
anxiety has robbed me with potentially fulfilling and meaningful friendships
My goal: to be brave enough to feel my feelings.
How to help others with Trauma who are afraid to address it and just suffer and often times blame themselves.
Goal
-Overcome fear and self doubt
nighout with friends and family makes me feel alive
My goal is to continue to try difficult things, including being a support worker.
I cry every day and it’s becoming painful physically
Get rid of anxiety!
I don't even avoid doing things that make me anxious (because I'm anxious about not doing them too, lol) but it doesn't really help, and a lot of the time I don't even know the reason of why I am anxious 😭
My goal is to stop anxiety and panic attack to control my life
Overcome the constant anxiety
I have restless legs disorder since i was a child.
Hello dear. I have no goals. But I want to help myself from shaking, you see I am 71 years old & married a narcissist for 52 years and I'm sick with no confidence afraid when my husband gets angry with me. So I thought maybe you could help me to be myself again. I love your videos. I'm a special needs person. 😢 Bernie.
My goals
I want to reduce my anxiety and stress levels in my body
I wanto feel my emotions in an untangled way
I wanto to enjoy my spare time of rest and not doing nothing without feeling like 'Im running out of time"
Sea swimming in the winter will cure your anxiety
Anxiety steals a lot of my already depleted energy
Thank you for all you do! Your advice is so helpful! ❤❤❤
My goal is to change the cycle of my body rsesponse in the time of stress and anxiety.