Okay correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn’t self love/ higher self esteem help make safer decisions and more logical ones? Like it would help stop the shame spiraling you mentioned?
Ding ding ding! You’re right on the money. We typically feel less driven to do unnecessarily risky things or self destructive things if we’re at peace with ourselves! Self love is such a game changer in so many ways!
@@alinalikesbooks3978 I really like his channel. His girl defined and Paul and Morgan videos are great. Him and telltale really helped me understand and find the words I needed to feel confident in my atheism.
Submit to god........ that's the only way....... u r not just an accident..... god send u to perform some duty nd only by accepting god.... you will see what....... not even a Christian but it's true...... watch Jordan Peterson if you have rational way of thinking
Literally. As a recovered anorexic there was NOTHING remotely related to self love about that experience. Other than maybe the false promise that you will eventually love yourself when you’ve lost weight but that self love is never gonna happen through the eating disorder and can only come with time, support, treatment, work, better health etc.
I can’t even wrap my head around a person with bulimia thinking it’s self love. Maybe orthorexia, since the obsession is with “healthy” eating... but bulimia? I never thought for a second that my over exercising was self love.
It's so frustrating because it's like they view it as/think it's something like 'you think you're such hot sh6t that everyone should bow down to you and you can do no wrong and you're better than everyone else, you're a GOD/deity' or something like that. Which is... obviously not what it is? So I just can't, with them. Like, I don't want to consider myself trash, sooo I'm gonna keep working on trying to actually like myself, cause rn I don't; and there's nothing wrong with trying to cultivate love and peace for myself and trying to actually like myself and my body. Because... um... I exist, and it sucks to not like oneself? I'd very much like to be enough for myself.
@@roseinskyrim honestly I rather have people think they’re the shit and above everyone else than have them feel worthless. The fact that they’re like “people think they’re hot? Let’s say they aren’t enough!” Is so disgusting to me
@@aaliyahstark7948 oh yeah that's fine lol, it'd be nice to have lots of self confidence; I guess I meant that as my interpretation of what they/fundamentalists n etc think it means so as you said, they're like 'how DARE someone think they're super amazing!'-because only god is supposed to be the absolutely amazing one and we are but dirty rags. But then it seems like most of time if anyone from those circles realizes 'oh it's cause they (might) feel worthless and they're trying to care for themselves and have confidence'-it immediately goes to 'you need to put all your worth in god and realize he made you, don't say you don't like yourself cause you're spitting in gods face.' >..< so... you just can't... 'win', no matter what. Some couple months ago or a bit more, I talked about how difficult it is for me with depression and other brain things on fb; and someone chided/scolded me (but 'lovingly'/'kindly') and quoted verses about how I shouldn't say such things and should love the way god made me. It sucked. I didn't reply to their comment. : p Like thanks, I am cured! I totally love that god made me with all these issues! Such awesome!
It’s a matter of talking past each other. In Christianity, love of God and Love or others comes before self, or because the self is worthless but because you already love yourself. You feed yourself, make sure you get sleep, do anything possible to make yourself comfortable. Even those who hate themselves will at least do things to keep themselves alive or, if they’re suicidal, it’s because they’re seeking comfort in death from the pain of life. Likewise, Jesus says we should care about the well-being of others as much as we do for ourselves. It isn’t that we don’t have enough self-love, it’s that we have too much.
As a 43 year old lady with a psych degree and a history of mental health issues, THANK YOU for being on the internet and refuting this garbage. It makes my heart hurt to think of all the young girls and women who hear this vomit and take it to heart. I hope the algorithm pops this video up if anyone watches the original video.
Yooo I had someone tell me what I needed to cure my depression was a relationship with God. Told her I've been a Christian my whole damn life. She told me y'all she told me, "then you must not be a very good Christian". I died and was resurrected on the third day lmaooo
I'm so sorry someone said that to you. As a fellow Christian & someone who suffers from Depression, I know how difficult it is. Depression is not a lack of faith, it is an illness. I want you to know I'm praying for your health. God Bless.
@@rainmirron thank you. It's all good. I've been around enough Christians to know there are good and bad ones. It just hurts more coming from one of your own. I'm sorry you struggle with depression too. I'll pray for you as well and may God bless you.
Me tooooo. Religion can be helpful and complementary to people’s lives if it’s not treated like a cult! It’s coming in a few weeks and I hope you like it! 💕
100% agreed!!! I HATE when I see “Christians,” use Gods name to spread hate or ignorance-.- it drives me crazy. And they wonder why people won’t turn to God. Hmm.
@@MickeyAtkins It's a relief to see a therapist that understands this. I was in group therapy and I got close w a lady in the group. She offered a Bible study. I figured doing therapy and getting closer to God would be double benefit. I was in therapy the whole time w that cult indoctrination going on and it was destroying me. I brought in the study book to my therapist trying to figure out what was wrong. I'm like is normal to study the Bible and become suicidal? I didn't have regular access to WiFi but as soon as I did within 2 weeks I found all the activism for the cult. I'm fully aware of wtf was happening now. That mental anguish was the worst omg. Somehow cults need to be banned but idk how. There's a lot of groups that can fit the BITE model. If only the therapist had known to show me that or anything. I was stuck in that dam study and mindset almost 4years! Even tho it was a crazy experience I did learn SO much now about cults and religion. It did snap me Into agnostic/atheist. It felt very similar to when u realize Santa not real but In a bigger way.
Lol exactly. I dare manage to feel alright about myself and whoosh, up pops my inner Girl Defined. Where did you come from, internalized Girl Defined bullshit? Go back there.
Oh, that sounds like a good idea, I will now stop and ask myself, “Now waitaminute! Picture that thought you just had coming out of Girl Defined’s mouth: how ridiculous does it sound now? Do you still want to claim that thought as your own?” To filter out my negative BS thoughts that I don’t truly believe but feel obligated to because mental illness/etc. That might work until I find a new therapist. 🤘😆
"white fundamentalist people want to be oppressed so much it's embarrassing." Yes, so true. I come from a fundamentalist religious background who said depression was "demon possession" , and watching this video without being massively triggered made me realize I've come farther then I thought. Thanks for this, you made so many great points.❤
Jehovah’s Witness are like this too. I grew up one . We were constantly told as gods “one and only true people” that we were the only ones to be persecuted . Not saying jws never are, but in the countries they are banned so are many other religions/cults. Now that the worldly courts are coming at the jws for covering up sex abuse, and using the two witness rule for csa cases , in many many countries they are claiming even more persecution . When actually they are also being accused of human rights violations with the shunning policy that leads to many suicides . But the jws are the “victims” here . Ugh 😩
Brown fundamentalist people want to be oppressed so much it's embarrassing.. and blame all their failures on whites, and expect handouts due to resentment, envy and entitlement.
For reeeeaaaal!! “You’re not enough” = push you down, “and that’s okay” = the bread-crumbing to keep you attached bc they’ve now got you believing you’re not enough without them 🤦♀️
I noticed it involves lovebombing too. They lovebomb you with “Gods Love” so you accept Jesus into your heart and then that’s when the devaluing starts to happen. They’re not nearly as nice or wholesome.
Am I the only one who feels like they're confusing "enough" and "perfect"? You don't have to be perfect to be enough... we're imperfect because we're human. God is the only perfect being, if we were perfect, then we'd just all be gods. But we're HUMAN. And we're allowed to be ENOUGH without being PERFECT.
@@itschris4210 you’re Right. I really had a cringe moment when she said „God Made us Not enough so we would have to depend on him More“. Thats so wrong and toxic ! After all we were made in his image. Of course that got fucked up somehow by sin but Not because he Made us that way
Pretty sure they're Mormon/LDS and that means they believe when they die that they can become Gods and Goddesses of their own universe's during the 2nd coming.
Fun fact: the author of that book has me blocked on Twitter because I called out her inability to do proper research. She really is just...an evil person. Like legitimately evil. Girl Defined being huge fans of her isn't a huge surprise.
@@RedMoonSolitary Bethany and Kirsten set of my narcissist radar. Their facial expressions look fake and they look like they would just keep talking over top of me if I tried to have a conversation with them.
Unfortunately, when it comes to Allie Beth Stuckey, I am not surprised or shocked she did. Good on you for calling her out on it. I, unfortunately, was given her book by my christain sister (as she loves this woman, which, yes I know it's awful she idolizes her). It was so chock full of harmful, rather ridiculous ideas I couldn't bother finishing it. Not to mention she had not real scholarly research to back up her claims. Granted, I deconstructed and left Christianity at this point, so reading this book was pointless, but I gave it a try. Misinformation runs rampant and has to be constantly combated. Not to mention just how harmful Christian ideology is inherently. I agree with you that she's awful because she perpetuates this misinformation that flat-out harms others.
When she mentioned the “toxic culture of self-love”, My jaw literally dropped. I want to write a book called: “You ARE enough, and that’s MORE than okay”.
Yes! Do it! I'll buy your book! It could be one page that says "You're enough. The end." I half want to laugh at them and half want to have a serious sit down talk with them because this is a ridiculous and very dangerous thing to tell people.
I was raised in an actual religious cult (with a "prophet" and everything) and legit we called everyone aside from our immediate family and close friends "sister" or "brother" 🤮🤮🤮🤮
@@aliyahfriesen9725 it might be weird to you, I don't expect u to like it if ur not Christian 😂 (if u are, just have in mind that they are ur spiritual siblings, don't necessarily call them that if it feels weird.)
@@alejandratovar1656 I am a Christian and I'm cool with understanding that other Christian's are my "spiritual siblings" as you say, bc God is our father, but I hate when the labels brother and sister are used in place of a name or mr and Ms. It just mentally sends me straight back to the cult I was raised in and gives me the heebie-jeebies
"This is the culture in which abusers thrive" YES!! It really bothers me that this culture off abuse is held up as a "higher standard" and allowed to florish. 😡 🤯
flash forward to summer 2023 and the franke family's kids are being rescued from their parents' christian family dungeon with duct tape still attached to them......
@@strenghsGirl god I don’t have the patience to explain the whole situation or why what was said sounds problematic (I thought that would be obvious). Literally just look it up if you wanna “see why this is a problem”. It’s public info that’s easily found
The thing is that this part of their family history is more about what their ancestors did to others and not about what happened to them. Also it was clearly stated that their grandfather is dead. Maybe you should read the comments again?
@@MickeyAtkins Just clicked on the reference in the video description...... “How to show love to prostitutes, homosexuals, and Muslims” ummm........ what the what?? This Muslim is dying to know more. 🤣 (This Muslim also uses humor to deal with the super upsetting.). I’m going to check out the rest of your channel... my 14 year old daughter is an aspiring therapist 💓
I know it's wrong to say this but the three women are TOTALLY the idea of "typical woman who does not understand nor care to understand the struggle and problems of people who are slightly different from her". The same freaking hair, the same eyes, the same voice inflection and all...I feel like I walked into a convention of blonde people who would ask me to speak to the manager
it's because GirlDefined's idea of womanhood is the stereotypical "Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen being submissive little housewives and not questioning it". It's a sexist, out of date idea that fundies love to cling to (I'm not a Fundie obviously but I have friends who are and as much as I respect them. I disagree with some of their views because I was raised with different views like women having the CHOICE to stay home or work outside the home)
@@Stephie2007 also I’m not even close to being a fundie lol, I feel like I’m pretty... liberal(not naming my political party, just mean by the actual definition), for a Christian! Pretty damn liberal, actually.
They'd be asking for the manager even if the person they were talking to would be Peter at the gates telling them to wait while he checks if they're gonna get in
Here is an atheist speaking. Mark 12:30 + 12:31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and with all your mind and with all your strength + Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Bible study for years with Jehova Witness
@@nelehe he didn't say that? He was just showing I think the exact scriptures that proved your statement. I have also studied with witnesses for years and often (sadly since the bible also tells you to look at yourself before pointing fingers) eye roll at some of these. Because they often don't understand the Bible that they are spouting and are being extremely hypocritical. We are all imperfect, but that's kind of the point. Not matter what we do at this time we will be imperfect and we will make mistakes. It's how you deal with a stumble that matters to God. Not the stumble itself or lack there of.
live update: how contradictory?? to say “self-love is so dangerous” but then “self-loathing is sinful”??? ig we’re supposed to just walk around numb zombies with a smile drawn on bc we pray three times day and thats happiness according to them
its so strange that they try to use God and the Bible which many ppl view as literal works of fiction as a gotcha for practices that rlly don’t hurt anyone, thanks for unpacking this nightmare message
I get that and im glad you found a safe place but tbh i do feel like trauma is trauma. A specific religion usually isnt the stimuli or adharently traumatic but rather the people who associate with it and try to reinforce their views onto others.
Oh damn, so self-love and working on yourself meant partying and drinking all along? Silly me, all I ever do is make sure I eat healthy, sleep enough, work out, get fresh air, have positive interactions with people and challenge myself with new scary things to battle my social anxiety. I’ve been treating myself like some tamagotchi when all I had to do is get drunk? Damn :/
@@ametrineambrosia4929 Hitting the gym also gives you muscles *gasp* which are obviously unfeminine and horrible when women have them!! We're both doomed. See you in hell I guess ._.
So, I was catholic for a very, very long time, and these girls just remind me of a lecture that a religious person gave a bunch of kids, she said, and I quote, "if you have depression, too bad. If you've been raped, or a victim of abuse, suck it up, if you are oppressed and suicidal, keep it to yourself because the son of god gave up his perfect life for all of us. " like- do you know how many people in this room you just offended....the majority of the viewers of these types of channels are literal children
I've seen people call them the "Mean Girls" of the Christian community. I'm sure they roll their eyes at all the other girls who aren't living up to their standards at church. This sect of Christianity is weird. You aren't supposed to judge, but the way it's set up, you can't help but judge others. Otherwise, how are you supposed to know who not to hang out with because they will drag you down and away from god. I'm glad I'm out, and I don't have to worry when someone tells me the are into tarot cards. I don't have to judge that anymore. Opens up the pool of friends you can have.
@@greatvalueblaine6681 they married ladies now ♥️ they have non parental chaperones so they can go to whatever secular parties their husbands allow. *snap in cross formation*
I grew up in church. I hated myself and struggled with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and an eating disorder for YEARS. It wasn't until I left the church that I finally learned to love myself and FINALLY found real happiness
Congratulations! I also left the church at a young age because they were always going against my anthropology /science studiedly. I’m so glad you found more self- love 💕
As a Christian that one just made my eye twitch. Like that's not how that works. Did this Stuckey chick never read the story of Eden. God doesn't make inadequate things. We were made in His image. So she kinda just blasphemed big time there. Sin is the source of our shortcomings. Not God. God is the antidote to sin and the sort of road map to what we should have been before sin screwed up His perfect creation. Or that's closer to what the Bible says than her saying "God made us not enough"
I hear Christians say "You're enough." So this is something that surprised me when defined girls said "You're not enough." Like what were they thinking when they said " You're not enough? "
@@rambleonwithrosie Exactly- God made us just enough, perfectly enough. In fact, he made is perfect. The first thing he said upon making man was, "It is VERY GOOD." So... wtf are these people saying? Also self love is great because God loves is, he loves us so much he sent Jesus for us. Why in the world would he not want us to love ourselves? God's love and self love go hand in hand. The idea of, as the creator of this video said, of dying to ourselves is dying to our sin. Our sin, our evil or wrong thoughts or beliefs that harm both us and others- that's the part of us that's not perfect. It's like these fundie women behind Girl Defined and the book author theyre talking to are just sooooo far off from what's right.
Friend take care of yourself!! You are ALWAYS welcomed and encouraged to skip any videos that don’t feel comfy or safe! Don’t worry I’ll be here next week too lol 😂💕
I’m a bisexual, white Christian and comments like these make me laugh so much 😭 it’s so true, especially when rules n stuff in the Old Testament were abolished and the only rules made after was love everyone and love yourself . Like bro these girls need to stop coming up with weird stuff
I used to go to a church for a while where it was very "you either love god, or you burn in hell" and that mentality was DETRIMENTAL to my mental health. I was so deep in self-loathing and self-hatred because they were telling me that I was a sinner, not only because I was questioning my sexuality, but also because I was a human. I attempted suicide several times while I attended that church before finally realizing that the community that I was so desperately seeking was causing this much damage to me. I still am dealing with the aftermath of that church and it has made me afraid and hesitant when around Christian people. this mindset is so devastating to people's mental health and I hope that people start calling churches and people out on it.
I’m both infuriated and so sorry that this happened to you! I know you know this but you are of course NOT a bad person and always worthy of love and acceptance! Also in case you ever need it I’ve always got the suicide hotline in my descriptions! Sending you love! 💕
I am lucky to have a supportive ex church, and my parents on the surface level are lgbtqia+ friendly, but a lot of the "ideologies" they don't agree with. I put ideologies in quotes because it isn't an ideology, just who we are. I haven't come out to my parents and I knew if I asked them to use my preferred pronouns they wouldn't because "it is too hard" and they would probabyl guilt me back into the closet because my gender identity (Either genderfluid or Bigender, I don't know yet) would be attention seeking. I wish you the best in life
My (protestant) grandmother was divorced in the 1920s. The pastor of her church used to hold the communion chalice up to the congregation and say something like, "if ye have broken any of my commandments... or violated G-d's law, then _this cup is not for you!_" which is (spoiler alert) not in the bible. It's also incredibly damaging. She didn't leave that church even after she remarried. I think all christians, if they are sincere, should be aware of the generations of harm churches have caused people, and should be ready not to defend their church or their faith, but to defend the people out here who are hurting. I'm glad you got away from that community. Your description reminded me of the whole "this cup is not for you" thing, and I just... I'm terribly sorry. I hope you're in a better place. Better churches exist, but if you don't want to attend one because of past experience, I am sure God understands...if God is still real to you.
Legit i used to go to church alot also i stopped cuz of covid and ofc its damaging to my mental health also basically its like *revolve yourself around god or go to eternal damnation* but thats for my church only ik it varies to other ppl
Sounds like an abuse victim making excuses for the person that's hurting them... "He only hits me because I deserve it." "He *_has_* to correct me because I screw things up so much." "He loves me really. That's why he gets so angry when I'm bad." Its heartbreaking.
Hé didn’t make us not enough, he made us to share in the earth, his creation. we were created in his image so we could understand things almost on his level of understanding. when we walked away from God, we became unrighteous, and now bcuz of this sin condition, we depend on him to be righteous again.
@@leighly3344 Yep, there you go with the victim blaming I was talking about, making excuses for the abuser that you believe is hurting you. Trying to tell yourself that it's *_your_* fault, what you think God did to you. It honestly is heartbreaking.
There was a point in my life where a sticky note that said "You are enough" was my anchor. And that phrase did not tell me to engage in any debauched behavior I wanted; it just told me that I was enough. The way Allie Beth Stuckey interprets the phrase says more about her than about the self-love movement.
My social work professor tells us to rely on mantras to give us confidence and comfort in certain stressful situations. She also taught us about tapping and mediation techniques
"We're Christian PLUS!" I'm deceased. As a Christian, I love when people call out these backward groups while maintaining respect for others with faith. Thanks for this. EDIT: I just want to add the Bible is about self-love & self-acceptance. This is what we're supposed to believe about ourselves according to Psalm: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
I'm not a Christian anymore, but I get what you mean about calling out the backward groups. I don't care if someone follows a religion that I personally do not follow, but I do care if they are harming others! Do you watch God is Grey? She is a Christian youtuber that I watch sometimes and really respect. She has called out Girl Defined as well.
I mean, we are supposedly made in God's image and God is supposed to be perfect so I would think telling people they're not enough could be seen as a form of heresy.
@@BlueGangsta1958 the truth is we can never be enough but that's okay. It's not abed thing. Giving people the idea that they are enough is counterproductive. Cause sometimes people are struggling with things in their life and they need help/direction. Self love is just another cult waiting to happen
Its amazing how these people always talk about toxicity of self love, yet you can see very very clearly, they absolutely admire and love themselves and put themselves on piedestals.
People commit suicide when they don't feel loved or have love of self. This is a toxic book and toxic people. I love that you did this video. Bringing intelligence, research and knowledge is so important. Refutting these ideas is so important.
I’m 26 and my one and only tattoo is the word enough. I got it after I tried to end my life my senior year of high school. Such deep depression, anorexia, substance abuse.. I felt like a waste of space, but my mom always told me that I was enough. That word means everything to me.
Watching you break down the problematic things Girl Defined teaches, makes me feel so seen and heard. I use to feel so "crazy" trying to explain to the people in a campus ministry setting truths about mental health. I was studying social work and counseling, looking back on it I was being gaslit constantly, and essentially told everything I was learning in school was wrong.
That absolutely is the terrible power gaslighting has. I know it well, too. I hope you're doing okay now? Keep fighting the good fight for evidence-based, peer-reviewed information! ❤️
@@milkdromeda7.041 the story of Jael in the Old Testament. At the time Israel was under the thumb of another nation, until Israel‘s leader Deborah + army fought them off. But the enemy general, Sisera, got away and ended up in Jael‘s tent (who came from a nomadic family, so not an israelite. He asked her to hide him, she gave him warm milk to drink so that he fell asleep, and while he slept she drove a tent peg through his skull. So saving all of Israel. Its a really cool story
None of my college friends ever said: "You need to get drunk." Should have gotten new "friends". She traded one sort of social pressure for another, it's just now a high-control religious sect/culture.
I had a friend in college who adamantly and repeatedly said I should start drinking alcohol. I don't mean that he simply suggested that I start drinking. He was pressuring me a lot. People pressure you to do stuff when they find out you have anxiety or depression. He absolutely would not take no for an answer when I said I didn't want to drink alcohol. But I continued to say no. Eventually, he stopped being friends with me. When we first met, he had some physical and mental health problems, and he would complain to me, and he needed my support. I was always a supportive friend, but he ended up being ungrateful and was angry at me because I don't drink alcohol. Basically, there are people, including people who are your friends, who pressure you to get drunk in the same way evangelicals pressure you to join their religion.
@@dualscreengrant I'm very sorry that happened to you. Obviously, that was seriously messed up and you were right to cut ties with him. People who see no boundaries with others are clearly not well and in some cases a danger to others. I was addressing my personal experience and never witnessed anyone I know experiencing any pressure beyond: "you could use a drink", not repeated pressure. BTW, I also have Anxiety and Depression (and ADHD, recently officially diagnosed), so I find it personally alarming that people think they can pressure you into self-medicating. I hope you have supportive friends amongst the ones that do this crap to you.
Fun Fact: That girl's publishing house, Random Penguin House, is the same publishing house that published 50 Shades of Grey. Just so we can take her sooooo much more seriously.
I mean it's the biggest publishing house in the world. They also published The Testaments, Beloved, and the Book Thief. Do those books add credence to her words??? Dumb argument.
The fact that she is willing to deal with a publisher that sells books which are so against her beliefs totally illustrates her level of hypocrisy. Don't help a major publishing house that sells "worldly" books if you're so into the black and white of everything. Go with a Godly, Christian publisher.
I was strictly raised with this belief system and especially as a lesbian, it absolutely destroyed my mental health and sense of self I've been working on it for years now but it's so hard to put the pieces back together
yeah, im back with my family now and i was raised like this too, it's such a toxic environment to be in, this constant abusive pressure to deny and blame the healthiest and most joyful parts of yourself and give your life to someone else... i hope you are looking after yourself out there ❤
@@hillaryheath220 The only distinction between the two terms seems to be about their size. A religion is just a cult that's had time to dig in and expand.
Probably? 😆 hun you know without a doubt they would til it happens and realized they fucked up... But they will not speak about it or deemed as traitors to the objective just like Winifred or whatever's wife
I'm a Christian I vividly remember the pastor at my old church got fed up with all the blaming and judging and did a whole sermon on mental health. Basically it boiled down to this: You can't manipulate god into fixing you by being holy enough. And you won't help anyone by judging them or telling them what they should do differently. If you actually want to help someone who is struggling, ask them what they would like you to do. Say you would be willing to help them look for a therapist or go to a doctors appointment. If you are struggling, know that god loves you and wants you to take care of yourself well. So, go to therapy if that would be helpful, if your doctor suggests a medication that might help balance your brain chemicals and make your life better don't be worried that god will think less of you for accepting that help. He said if someone has cancer, sure they might pray and read their bible and that may bring them peace. But, they also do chemo and have surgeries and go through the hard work of trying to get better. And if they can lean on their faith to help them get through that then that is wonderful for them. But you don't just stay in a burning building because fire fighters exist. You still do what you can to survive. And that my friends is a better way to look at dealing with mental health while still maintaining a faith in god.
Thank you for this. This is the only kind comment I've seen about Christians on this video lol. My church has also had some sermons positively talking about mental health and how you should obviously use the resources available to you like therapy and medications if that's what you need, and how that doesn't make you any less of a Christian. This comment meant a lot so thank you :)
I follow a Christian lady on Instagram who said POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS A SIN & THAT ITS FROM THE DEVIL. -.- like girl- what?! & the fact that other girls & moms reposted her on their stories agreeing with her... I cannot. the audacity. (I have 2 kids & dealt with postpartum depression both times, & I’m also Christian)
You know, I think people have some confusion with certain things. All good comes from God. But then people take that to mean all bad comes from Satan. No. Bad can come just from the world, you know? The world attacking us isn’t because God doesn’t love us or care. It’s just that the world sucks and sometimes we get depressed. Or sometimes we have chemical and hormonal imbalances that make us depressed. That doesn’t mean we aren’t doing a good job or trying our best. Toxic Christianity needs to end
I grew up with an ab*sive dad and he would get drunk and physically ab*se my mother. We had to run multiple times and hide for our safety. She divorced him. Our old church judged the heck out of her and me for supporting her divorce and needless to say after that and a few other things like being judged for my mental health issues as well (the pastor straight up told me he didn't think I struggled with OCD although I've been diagnosed and struggled for years) we left. I don't care what your beliefs are, even if you view divorce as wrong, i think there should be understanding for certain situations no matter what. If the congregation could have seen his outbursts i witnessed, I think they and any rational human being would applaud and respect my mother for divorcing him, much like I respect her, instead of treating us like outcasts and not worthy for her protecting herself and more importantly her kids. Especially after she tried to stay with him and give him chances throughout the years, until enough was enough. Im still religious, but I think it's the overly religious people like this that are doing more harm than good.
I'm so sorry you and your mother had to go through that! Unfortunately a lot of so called "christians" are way too eager to blame the victims of any kind of ab*se and completely dismiss mental health... I'm glad your mother had the strength to divorce despite the lack of support. I hope you are both safe and doing well!
Fuck those fucking people for looking down on you. Y’all are absolutely incredible for keeping yourselves and each other safe in a situation that you never deserved to be in. I’m so happy to hear y’all are safe and okay! 💕
I have an abusive alcoholic father too. My mother stayed because Gawd says divorce is bad. So I'm 45 now and have been in therapy for over 14 years now. The more distance (physical and mental) I put between myself and them, the better I get. Speaking from personal experience, medical professionals have helped me immensely, "praying more" did fuck all.
God this definitely hit a bit too close to home for me, I’m so sorry you and your family weren’t better supported back then! My father was also abusive, with me getting the worst of it, and even though (from what I’ve been told) the marriage between my parents was always bad from the get-go, figuring out that I was being abused was the final straw for my mom and so she divorced him when I was 3. After we moved away, we didn’t go to church for years after that (except for occasionally going to my grandparents church whenever we would visit), despite my mom being a devout Christian at the time, and I was confused about that for a long time. Until my mom finally told me that it was because not only was everyone very judgemental towards her during and after the divorce, they even believed my dad’s side of the story over hers! I even had an acquaintance tell me that divorce is a sin (which I do understand that a lot of that came from her own feelings about HER parents being divorced for ‘normal’ non-abusive reasons), and it was really hard for me to not give her a piece of my mind with that, I was so salty! Like yeah, the Bible does say that divorce is a sin, but you know what else the Bible says is a sin? Adultery and incest, both of which my father was doing! So you’re telling me that she should’ve stayed in a toxic marriage, all while knowing that her child will suffer for it the rest of her life if she did so, and that my father wasn’t gonna do anything about his own sins regardless, so all the burden and responsibility should go to her? Fuck no! My point is, I totally agree with what you said, that if the church knew the truth about your family’s situation, then no one in their right mind would disagree with what our mothers did. And while I do try to remember that divorce is a lot of times the worst thing that happens to most families, it can be the best thing to ever happen to other families. So people should think twice before saying all the bs we’ve been told about divorce. I wish you and your mother the best! ❤️👩👧
@@katelynnmarkle6089 You do know that with every comment you post you're helping their channel? It'd be more detrimental to their channel for you to stop commenting. Commenting boosts their engagement, so you're actually helping them.
I’m in college majoring in psychology and I’m trying to become a therapist. I had to do a paper about religion and mental health. And the things I found while I was researching for my paper were the most fucked up shit ever. I hate when people associate religion with mental health. This is why many people don’t get the help they want.
And then they use non-Christians having higher prescribed medication use as "proof" that not having Gawd in your life is so bad for you. The actual truth is, the non-Christians are the ones going to actual medical professionals to get legit medical help (medication, therapy, etc) for their very real health issues rather than just praying about it.
It's not just Mental health. My aunt and uncle pretty much killed themselves by refusing medical care for various things all because they trusted god and not doctors. Both deaths were really bad.
i was raised very religious and some of the things you you unpacked have seriously taken a weight off my shoulders i didn't even know was there. thank you for talking about this topic
I couldn't finish the video. You did a great job breaking it down, but as a Christian, the author infuriates me. I am so sorry that a member of my faith made something so hurtful for an already vulnerable population.
There's a certain type of Christian that is absolutely and utterly desperate to be persecuted, simply because it says in the bible "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 5:10). There's this belief that if they're persecuted, then they're better than everyone else somehow. Like they're uber-Christians or something. Not all religious people are like this, just the ones like these women in the video. I've heard it called "persecution fetish".
I honestly think they belive that aswell. they remind me of preacher versions of alot of kids i went to school with. they would say things like ''racism doesn't exist here so why does it matter to us?'' first of all we had around 20 imagrants in a school of 577 (inclueding me) and 2 people of colour in our year. second, they were like this because they were so sheltered. this feels a bit tangent-ish but thats my thoughts.
As someone who wasn't just raised in this stuff but embedded in an actual cult version of it until my late 20s - I was constantly fed the idea that if people rejected us (for essentially trying to push our beliefs on them honestly) that was a form of persecution and that any government decision that didn't absolutely validate and and uphold "conservative Christian values" was also persecution...but then told we are still very blessed to be in the godly nation of America and had to defend that "godliness". But also that terrible persecution will come one day so be ready to be tortured for your beliefs in the last days. I remember having panic attacks in middle school thinking about the stuff I was taught about Revelations.
Growing up in the church I NEEDED THIS!!! Would have saved me years of heartache. I have literally been told my depression/self loathing/anxiety is from being obsessed with myself and I need to focus on God more... did that for years and it never helped. Bought some books, started actually ignoring "the church" and working on myself and since then I have actually started to heal.
So the moral of the story is that had her friends not been party girls but instead introverts that spend their nights being cozy inside, and she had spent her last trimester watching movies and eating popcorn with them in her pajamas instead.... things would have gone differently? Right? Coz like. That's the conclusion I reach hearing her story. Like, ma'am. You simply were not cut for the party life. Period. You built all your current identity simply because you found out you didn't like parties.
I'm trying to figure put how such a "godly" girl had friends that were nothing but hard drinking partiers. But then I'm trying to picture her hanging with non blonde pretty people and...ah I think I found the issue.
She also built her formed identity on the fact that she followed god and her boyfriend would propose. This might be the most extreme break up ever :/ where did she even get this idea that ‘everyone parties anyway?’
Religion gives itself a bad name with extremely outdated beliefs from literal made up stories, it's people like these that broadcast the harmful messages and hurt those in seek of help. Purity culture is so cringe, it's unfair to cringe culture to say that. I grew up in religion and have been working these past few years to unlearn so many things. Check out Jimmy Snow for more anti-harmful religion videos
@@gamahkitten9900 I myself have been questioning why religion makes me uncomfortable. it is exactly those old believes. especially during confessions i feel extremely guilty and anxious, even tho i know nothing serious will happen. while i still enjoy the idea of being religious throught myself- as in a personal faith, i dislike the chuch as an "institute" which to me seems like it causes more "sin" than anything else
@@wozmike The concept of sin is so strange. So, this dude in the sky who never shows himself yet swears he loves everyone is willing to have people suffer for all eternity cuz... they had thoughts? Hell isn't even in the original (or as far as we can get) version. It's just to fear monger people into submission
This is literally the reason why I developed an eating disorder. The church constantly taught me that I was worthless and useless and that I shouldn’t love myself. It took many years and a lot of work to unpack all the religious trauma.
Hi just a question. How are you now? Are you doing better, because I know that recovering from an ED can be really really hard. I just hope youre doing better
@@lauralol5678 Thank you for asking, this is so sweet. Recovery was definitely very difficult but I am much better & stronger now. I think the eating disorder will always be in the back of my mind and at my fingertips, but I know how to manage it now. :)
@@melizabeth0274 Sorry, but it's surreal read about your experience. That's why I'm asking about what church you was involved with. Cause in Catholic church, nobody teaches that a person is worthless or useless; quite contrary! I develop social work in the catholic church for 20 years now and I never heard such thing. Ever.
The selective memory Christians tend to have about the bible,... At least now I know why I got cancer at age 19,... I just didn't love God and Jesus enough 🤣😉
@@nelly2958 I'm good, got two rounds of chemo to go, and I'll hopefully start uni this year Edit: Unfortunately the cancer came back, so I'm currently waiting for a stem cell transplant. So no uni this year.
Someone at my Aunts Church told my mom that my sister and I got Neurofibromas type 2 (genetic condition that cause brain and spine tumors) because she get pregnant out of wedlock and God was punishing her.
@@rrebecca3149 Good luck homie. Fight hard. Whatever you do, don't let anyone pray for you - studies have shown that it actually *_hinders_* healing. Bitchy snarking aside, I hope things go well.
I absolutely love that you've made that distinction between the principles of self-love and the ideation of self-love that people just follow their own capricious whims. It really just does not get said enough.
I think she got self love and self sabotage mixed up 😂. Self love is like giving yourself the opportunity to go on spa days, find new hobbies you like, make good friends, buying yourself a treat that you like when you’re feeling sad small things like that getting hung over all the time and starving yourself isn’t self love 😭 how could she convince herself that’s what it meant.
@@JLakis Lol. Makes sense bc Girl Defined's grandparents were Nazi's. www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/instagram-star-caught-nazi-storm-20538283.amp
@@haunted2882 Holy crap! So they are liter Nazis! The Nazis believed that women were baby makers for the Reich. They didn't allow German women to work in factories or assist in the field. They used slave labor to build their stuff. The Soviets had women in the Red Army, and all the Allies had women working because it just made sense.
@@JLakis Also the Nazi's were extreme christians and used the faith as an exscuse for alot of their politics,policies etc. Just like girl Defined who use the christian faith to be homophobic etc etc. It's really scary. Also one of their husbands(i think Bethany?) went to gay convertion therapy. It gets more and more terrifying. Also I wanna say I don't think Girl Defined are exactly Nazi's or even neo nazi, idk I just feel weird about calling them Nazi's idk.
That's not self love though. What you listed is the Instagram idea of self-care. Self love is just learning to not beat yourself up and to listen to yourself and trust yourself
I was a Christian for all of my childhood. I still live with my parents, because I'm 17, and most of my friends and family circle believe probably like 90-95% of girl defined's message. Trying to come out of that unhealthy mind set and finding my own path with beliefs and religions is so difficult to do right now, my grandmother the other day, while still polite-ish, basically told me not to think anybody else will ever love me any more than my family, she and my mom said that they're both my ride or die. But let me say this, neither of them were ride or die when I started dressing alternative, came out as queer, or expressed contrary feelings to their religion. It's insane the things I've accepted as normal for so long. My mother has literally repeated the phrase, " Privacy is a privilege."
@@arsonanarchybunny5541 Glad to hear it homie. You've got this. It's not going to be easy, but you already know you're strong enough to make it. All the best. 😁👍
I see that you posted this a year ago, and I hope you're doing ok. I was raised in the same type of environment and it is so difficult to get the poison out of your system, but you can get through it. Keep going 💜
@@bethanieflanagan8750 Thankyou, to be honest I can't say that things have gotten much better. But that being said I really appreciate your comment and it makes me feel a little better whenever someone comments from a place of understanding. ❤️
“You’re not enough (and that’s okay).” me, a person with chronic depression: Aw damn I knew it. Time to undo all the therapy I had to receive I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Self love is legit a favor to other people. From what I can gather it's a mixture of healthy humility, boundaries and hygiene. Does that sound toxic? Btw I'm catholic and good therapy can get you closer to God. Cuz you're supposed to see the world as God sees it and he loves you so... (To love is to will the good of the other)
Thank you! This really hit home. As a Christian struggling with insecurity and anxiety since early childhood, many of the messages I received in church were not helpful and often harmful. I needed to be encouraged to value myself but that would have been seen as self-centered and wrong.
When I told my sister her homophobic comments towards me made me feel like I wanted to un alive myself and I asked her how she would feel if people would keep saying hateful things to her. She said she would not be depressed and su*cidal like me because she has Jesus. LMAOO.
joke's on your sister, because Jesus was nice to everybody, also there is a commandment ''Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself'' so yeah, Jesus is probably facepalming everytime she insults you
Jesus wouldn't have hung out with her. Notice in the Bible he didn't chill with the pharisees, he kicked their asses for being hypocritical and self obsessed. She's no better than them, she fails to understand the alleged point of her religion
it’s so funny to me that these girls are “living a biblical life” but they are probably wearing polyester, they probably eat cheeseburgers, and they are wearing earrings, which are all sins in the bible lmao edit since people seem to be misinterpreting what i’m saying: i am not against wearing earrings or polyester or eating cheeseburgers, i do those things all the time. i’m calling out the hypocrisy in them saying they are living a biblical life when they aren’t following the whole bible.
They are also peddling their sh*tty books and other merch using their faith and their god as a selling point which is wrong according to the Bible. It is known that Jesus condemned peddlers using the same tactics to make a profit.
You're thinking of the Torah. The New Testament, specifically Galatians, claims that those rituals are unnecessary now that Jesus has fulfilled the prophecy. "So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian." - Galatians 3:24-25 NIV I do agree that they're likely hypocrites but, none of what you listed are sins, at least for Christians.
The concept of “self-denial” is common among many religions. Buddhists practice “anattā,” which is “no self.” It’s basically the practice of denying the ego and its demands. I think that is the fear of the “self-love” culture- that it can become egotistical- (“I’m perfect no matter what! Even if I’m rude and inconsiderate, I’m still great and wonderful, no matter what anyone says!!”). But self love can also be expressed as patience with oneself, perseverance, and knowing one’s worth beyond physical attributes. I can see the latter explanation of self love pairing well with self-denial- “I’m not always right or perfect (and I’m pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things), but I have enough self-dignity to know I’m a project worth working on.”
As a christian I'm just extremely disappointed with the way they use their beliefs to oppress others and force their beliefs on others. I hate that. This is why I dislike going to church. People who read the Bible and just blatantly ignore the fact that one has to keep in mind that it's a historical book and you have to keep in mind the circumstances of the time it was written in. Reading the Bible is fascinating, it really is. But Christians often forget that we focus on Jesus and his message of love and acceptance instead of the old testament or how certain people were treated at that time. That's not what Christianity is about. I'm exhausted. They are exhausting to watch
Thank you for this. My mother tried to tell me my PTSD wasn't going away because I wasn't praying hard enough. Religious child abuse should be a term that should be recognized and people should be held accountable for it.
You saying that they don’t tell people with epilepsy to try harder made me laugh. I grew up in the Bible Belt and a girl was in the school office have a seizure and the school “nurse” started screaming over her “cast the demons out of this child”. She did this for 5 minutes before calling 911 the girl ended up with brain damage from seizing for two long. Nobody got in trouble.
I'm disabled and Christian, and I've heard a lot of ableist stuff... I'm really fortunate that I found a church that supports healthy ideas, and let a few of us change some parts in the services to make it more accessible. Removing common allergens, changing lighting that could lead to headaches and seizures, and making the order of service better for those of us with ADHD. The single stall washroom is great too, I went to one church that used to have ungendered washrooms in the upstairs part, and after people started to feel comfortable with coming out as LGBT+ they changed them to have gendered signs, even on single stall, which makes it harder for people to access.
@@jlbeeen Uh-huh? So you feel compelled to love and to worship the being that you believe _created_ you disabled? That's . . . confusing, and more than a little disturbing.
@@stickiedmin6508 The thing about a lot of Christians, myself included, is that we don't see things like disabilities as being part of the original plan, but rather that this world is flawed and we believe that someday we will be given new perfect bodies in heaven. That's very simplified, and it's a very complex issue where everyone has their own interpretations. It's like you never expect an accident to happen, but sometimes bad things do happen. It doesn't mean that they were necessarily caused by someone, but just that we live in an imperfect world where stuff happens. If we were in a perfect world, there wouldn't be any wars.
My experience with Christianity was that you are so terrible and God is so good; and that you don't deserve love, but God loves you and you should be thankful; and that you are unlovable and you you obey god then he might grant you love. You know who treats people like this? Abusive spouses.
Isn't interesting though that after abused women leave their spouses often to turn to the church? My abused mother did that. Still frequents the church.
I’m sorry that is experience you have and I am not saying you have to believe but I promise you that is not what it’s like many people try to frame it that way out of their own misery and try to pass it on as testimony. Have a blessed day!
I came from the same style of Christian church as these women, and when she says that what the church teaches isn't self-hatred, she is flatly lying. That is exactly what the church teaches, sometimes in those exact words. I actually teared up a little hearing you talk about self-acceptance at the beginning of the video, the first time I really experienced any sort of self-acceptance was this year after cutting off my Evangelical parents, and I'm in my 40s. Love your videos so far, and I'll be watching more!
We can’t end racism sexism and homophobia if we don’t end religious fundamentalism. THANK YOU for bringing this to light. This needs to be talked about more main stream
How do we do this though? I’m an exjw and they live for being banned, it speaks to their persecution complex . In countries they’ve been banned it’s only made them more fervent and more persuaded they are right. They will and have even done jail time in some countries for their beliefs. They need de radicalising, but how to reach them and get past the mental blocks they’ve been trained to have since birth . They reason in a circular pattern that is crazy inducing to be part of because there’s no logic behind it
I love this video because whenever I watch people like girl defined I always know that there's something off about what they say and that it's very wrong, but I can never put it into words. It's so cool that you have the knowledge to put it into words and explain it in such a refreshing way. It honestly makes me want to go back to school and study psychology. In conclusion, you rock. Please continue doing what you do. Greetings from Germany.
This is exactly the kind of stuff I’ve been trying to unlearn. It damaged me so much growing up and I am just now coming to terms and trying to change that and find myself and love myself more
I've struggled with self-worth basically my whole life. In the church I grew up in, I always got the message that I am enough for God and that He loves me just as I am. As a Christian, I believe God wants us to love ourselves because he loves us. It hurts us to see someone we love hurting and struggling with loving and taking care of themselves, and I believe God feels that hurt as well. Telling someone they don't deserve to take care of themselves is the opposite message of the Gospel. We can't take care of others and love others properly, like Jesus commanded, if we don't feel that same love for ourselves.
Thank you for this comment. It really spoke to me and gave me some encouragement I needed as I struggle to separate the lies of what I've been taught and the truth of what God actually feels towards me
I’m happy this helped you. I’m sorry you’ve been told these lies growing up. I hope you find happiness and healing and come to know that you ARE enough and loved just the way you are!
Yes. God loves us and wants us to love ourselves. My church was against divorce. I was married to a highly abusive man. When I prayed and reflected IN THE BIBLE, I came to the conclusion that God loves me, He wants the best for me, and He wants me safe. A loving God doesn’t want us to hate ourselves, not be safe, not take care of ourselves … these women would be saying if you were getting abused, then you just aren’t praying hard enough. Come on. Some people are just psychopaths. And, for the record, I met my ex at my church sooooooo I thought he was a good Christian man …
Thank you for saying this!! I really feel like this should be said all the time!! I’m a Christian myself, and to me, god wants us to live a our lives to the fullest and be happy for who we are!
is somebody gonna tell these girls that giving your heart to God isn't the magic solution to all your problems? I'm a Christian yet I still have 99 problems and 98 of them directly stem from my ADHD and anxiety disorder.
They are wrong from the very beginning. I was raised in a Christian society, where we studied Bible through and through. Jesus said that the most important commandments are the Two Commandments of Love. The second one says: "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." It means, that in the Holy Bible, Jesus said that loving yourself is as important as loving people around you. (Mark 12:30-31) I am not a Christian myself, but I somehow know the Bible better than these "Biblical girls" do.
I went to an all-girls catholic school... it was simply traumatic. I can see the teachers praising girl defined and similar youtube chanels and making the class watch their videos.
Oof wow. “I stopped following Jesus and my life instantly fell apart,” is exactly and only a scare tactic religious cults use to retain members. Thanks for this video. Super interesting and a necessary critique. Can’t wait for more.
Yesssss exactly that! It’s in the same vein as porn and “lust” (which is just developmentally appropriate sexual discovery) being a gateway drug for a life of mistakes. None of that is true and it all really seems like a grasp for control. 🤮
Ironically, when I dumped Gawd like the abusive boyfriend he is, and started really working on getting mentally and physically well, my life seriously started getting better. I'm far healthier now than I ever was as a Christian.
I stopped following Jesus and going to church, and my life is somewhat better because I don't have to listen to all the... stuff... at church that makes me feel horrible and increases my depression and anxiety. :p unfortunately, I have the 'I'm going to hell now' for life, probably. Those roots are just far too deep.
Kind of funny, because I stepped away from my homophobic church and the fake friends I had there and kept on with spirituality in my own way and my stress levels immediately went through the floor.
I would disagree with that statement, but not the idea. The way I believe and would phrase it is that we do have a void in ourselves that will leave us incomplete without a relationship with God, because God created us for relationship. I would say that you won't experience peace and joy and fulfillment to the degree you could with Him:)
@@AbbyEmbro it still sounds like every toxic relationship ever. Like parents that never helped you being independent because they don't want you to leave
This was actually really healing for me to watch. I was raised catholic, went to catholic school for 10 years, and my dad refused to accept that I do not identify as catholic. It felt really good to know that my feelings are really valid in this topic while not completely dichotomizing religion. Thank you. ♥️
Hi MIckey! I just discovered your channel and I so appreciate it. I go to a very Christian university and have struggled with my faith, but counseling has helped me to tread cautiously with religious leaders that make me feel ashamed. Please keep doing these reactions! I'd love to see some that also talk about relationships with parents or significant others.
Lmao I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and had the local pastor's wife tell me antidepressants make a person more depressed and that one only needs to find God. 😂 love your channel btw❤
While not completely factually wrong (seriously, there are antidepressants that have depressive feelings as a side effect) that whole statement just feels like a big cop-out. As if such a woman doesn't want to truly help you. Did that woman have any education in the field? Did you need antidepressants to help recover from/cure your depression? I've personally gotten over it several times without any aid (don't recommend this, it's extreme suffering up to the point where you just grow numb). If medication helps you feel more balanced and calm, I'd say use it (either until you don't need it anymore or until you find a better solution). Sometimes the lack of responsibility and compassion these people show others astounds me.
Oh lord - I'm so sorry. That's just. Gah. So frustrating. I'm so sorry. I've been on SSRIs for years, and had to deal with my parents all "so you think you have depression? Are you sure you need these?" I'm so frustrated to hear of this situation for others.
The context of the “die to self” idea is about “dying” to selfish and self destructive patterns of behavior. It has nothing to do with hating who we are or denying the aspects of ourselves that make us who we are. I would argue that to effectively “die to self” or overcome what holds you back, you have to value yourself enough to empathize with your future self and make the choices that will help you become the best version of who you could be. Also just because it needs to said over and over again, mental health and trauma are not a reflection of personal spirituality.
The main reason I left church is this message: "You're a terrible sinnner." "But God loves you and your perfect." In other words, be happy and joyful, but not too much because that's prideful.
@@stickiedmin6508 they can't physically do anything to stop them lol that's why there are tons of Christians that speak out against them on their personal channels and on these peeps channel through comments. To warn those who follow them how bad it is.
I really liked to see the perspective of a therapist on these two girls. I'm religious and I can confirm that this is straight up fundamentalist and has NOTHING to do with God or anything they are implying. Great vid❤️
For someone going through her own healing journey, this was so informative. Thank you for sharing your professional, very educated, position. I learned a lot ❤️love and hugs
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Okay correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn’t self love/ higher self esteem help make safer decisions and more logical ones? Like it would help stop the shame spiraling you mentioned?
Ding ding ding! You’re right on the money. We typically feel less driven to do unnecessarily risky things or self destructive things if we’re at peace with ourselves! Self love is such a game changer in so many ways!
Yes! I was going to say this! So happy that you pinned it!
@@alinalikesbooks3978 I really like his channel. His girl defined and Paul and Morgan videos are great. Him and telltale really helped me understand and find the words I needed to feel confident in my atheism.
Submit to god........ that's the only way....... u r not just an accident..... god send u to perform some duty nd only by accepting god.... you will see what....... not even a Christian but it's true...... watch Jordan Peterson if you have rational way of thinking
@@AMANSHARMA-xw8qi
Tried that.
Nothing happened.
What went wrong?
"Self love is toxic because I had an eating disorder." Girlie...that's not self love. That's the exact opposite.
I mean...the fact that she didn't go to therapy explains why she has such a warped perception of self love
Literally. As a recovered anorexic there was NOTHING remotely related to self love about that experience. Other than maybe the false promise that you will eventually love yourself when you’ve lost weight but that self love is never gonna happen through the eating disorder and can only come with time, support, treatment, work, better health etc.
I think what they mean by self love is self obsession. That would fit in perfectly with anorexia.
@@lissq2769 BIG SAME, also hope you're doing okay ❤️❤️
I can’t even wrap my head around a person with bulimia thinking it’s self love. Maybe orthorexia, since the obsession is with “healthy” eating... but bulimia? I never thought for a second that my over exercising was self love.
"The toxic culture of self-love" My jaw hit the floor and didn't come back up- 👁 👁
It's so frustrating because it's like they view it as/think it's something like 'you think you're such hot sh6t that everyone should bow down to you and you can do no wrong and you're better than everyone else, you're a GOD/deity' or something like that. Which is... obviously not what it is?
So I just can't, with them. Like, I don't want to consider myself trash, sooo I'm gonna keep working on trying to actually like myself, cause rn I don't; and there's nothing wrong with trying to cultivate love and peace for myself and trying to actually like myself and my body. Because... um... I exist, and it sucks to not like oneself? I'd very much like to be enough for myself.
@@roseinskyrim honestly I rather have people think they’re the shit and above everyone else than have them feel worthless. The fact that they’re like “people think they’re hot? Let’s say they aren’t enough!” Is so disgusting to me
@@aaliyahstark7948 oh yeah that's fine lol, it'd be nice to have lots of self confidence; I guess I meant that as my interpretation of what they/fundamentalists n etc think it means so as you said, they're like 'how DARE someone think they're super amazing!'-because only god is supposed to be the absolutely amazing one and we are but dirty rags.
But then it seems like most of time if anyone from those circles realizes 'oh it's cause they (might) feel worthless and they're trying to care for themselves and have confidence'-it immediately goes to 'you need to put all your worth in god and realize he made you, don't say you don't like yourself cause you're spitting in gods face.'
>..< so... you just can't... 'win', no matter what.
Some couple months ago or a bit more, I talked about how difficult it is for me with depression and other brain things on fb; and someone chided/scolded me (but 'lovingly'/'kindly') and quoted verses about how I shouldn't say such things and should love the way god made me. It sucked. I didn't reply to their comment. : p Like thanks, I am cured! I totally love that god made me with all these issues! Such awesome!
It’s a matter of talking past each other. In Christianity, love of God and Love or others comes before self, or because the self is worthless but because you already love yourself. You feed yourself, make sure you get sleep, do anything possible to make yourself comfortable. Even those who hate themselves will at least do things to keep themselves alive or, if they’re suicidal, it’s because they’re seeking comfort in death from the pain of life. Likewise, Jesus says we should care about the well-being of others as much as we do for ourselves. It isn’t that we don’t have enough self-love, it’s that we have too much.
Why can’t they understand that self love isn’t about being obsessed with yourself
As a 43 year old lady with a psych degree and a history of mental health issues, THANK YOU for being on the internet and refuting this garbage. It makes my heart hurt to think of all the young girls and women who hear this vomit and take it to heart. I hope the algorithm pops this video up if anyone watches the original video.
Yooo I had someone tell me what I needed to cure my depression was a relationship with God. Told her I've been a Christian my whole damn life. She told me y'all she told me, "then you must not be a very good Christian". I died and was resurrected on the third day lmaooo
I'm so sorry someone said that to you. As a fellow Christian & someone who suffers from Depression, I know how difficult it is. Depression is not a lack of faith, it is an illness. I want you to know I'm praying for your health. God Bless.
@@rainmirron thank you. It's all good. I've been around enough Christians to know there are good and bad ones. It just hurts more coming from one of your own. I'm sorry you struggle with depression too. I'll pray for you as well and may God bless you.
I've been christian my whole life and had depression for most of it too like 😭 not how it works
@@gakailyn9249 Thank you so much! Sorry for the late response. RUclips didn't send me a notification.
Christians follow the new testament, jews follow old testament.
It always makes me angry when I see religion used like this. Weaponized and/or manipulated. Can't wait for Part 2!
Me tooooo. Religion can be helpful and complementary to people’s lives if it’s not treated like a cult! It’s coming in a few weeks and I hope you like it! 💕
100% agreed!!! I HATE when I see “Christians,” use Gods name to spread hate or ignorance-.- it drives me crazy. And they wonder why people won’t turn to God. Hmm.
@@muggleintheupsidedown Right! That kept me from God for a while
@@MickeyAtkins It's a relief to see a therapist that understands this. I was in group therapy and I got close w a lady in the group. She offered a Bible study. I figured doing therapy and getting closer to God would be double benefit. I was in therapy the whole time w that cult indoctrination going on and it was destroying me. I brought in the study book to my therapist trying to figure out what was wrong. I'm like is normal to study the Bible and become suicidal? I didn't have regular access to WiFi but as soon as I did within 2 weeks I found all the activism for the cult. I'm fully aware of wtf was happening now. That mental anguish was the worst omg. Somehow cults need to be banned but idk how. There's a lot of groups that can fit the BITE model. If only the therapist had known to show me that or anything. I was stuck in that dam study and mindset almost 4years! Even tho it was a crazy experience I did learn SO much now about cults and religion. It did snap me Into agnostic/atheist. It felt very similar to when u realize Santa not real but In a bigger way.
@@phoenixchick5088 God exists
Allie Beth saying, "God made you not enough so you can depend on him" made me immediately feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with God. Wtf 🤣
EXACTLY.
you should never depend on anyone, because unless you are a child and you're depending on your parent or guardian, that's a toxic relationship
As a former member of what I’m pretty sure is probably their exact Christian sect, IT ABSOLUTELY IS.
Glad I’m not the only one.
This explains so much. Daaaaang!
“Toxic culture of self-love” sounds like something my depression would say when I’m trying to not feel shit about myself for a change
Lol exactly. I dare manage to feel alright about myself and whoosh, up pops my inner Girl Defined. Where did you come from, internalized Girl Defined bullshit? Go back there.
Oh, that sounds like a good idea, I will now stop and ask myself, “Now waitaminute! Picture that thought you just had coming out of Girl Defined’s mouth: how ridiculous does it sound now? Do you still want to claim that thought as your own?” To filter out my negative BS thoughts that I don’t truly believe but feel obligated to because mental illness/etc. That might work until I find a new therapist. 🤘😆
Wtf, opposite of what she says, our mental institutions are so bound up with biblical strictures, much of it is useless
Same
@@liabowden8526
That's a pretty interesting strategy.
Really quite ingenious.
Hope things worked out okay for you dude, stay groovy.
"white fundamentalist people want to be oppressed so much it's embarrassing." Yes, so true.
I come from a fundamentalist religious background who said depression was "demon possession" , and watching this video without being massively triggered made me realize I've come farther then I thought. Thanks for this, you made so many great points.❤
Good for you Boss!
I'm truly glad that you made it - you're awesome.
Jehovah’s Witness are like this too. I grew up one . We were constantly told as gods “one and only true people” that we were the only ones to be persecuted . Not saying jws never are, but in the countries they are banned so are many other religions/cults. Now that the worldly courts are coming at the jws for covering up sex abuse, and using the two witness rule for csa cases , in many many countries they are claiming even more persecution . When actually they are also being accused of human rights violations with the shunning policy that leads to many suicides . But the jws are the “victims” here . Ugh 😩
Brown fundamentalist people want to be oppressed so much it's embarrassing.. and blame all their failures on whites, and expect handouts due to resentment, envy and entitlement.
I have heard of such background "Depressed people are egoistic".
“Self esteem is satanic”
“We aren’t going to church today cause a woman is preaching”
I love Christian fundamentalism (sarcasm)
“You’re not enough and that’s ok.” Sounds like something a narcissist would say to keep you down.
I.thought THE SAME
For reeeeaaaal!! “You’re not enough” = push you down, “and that’s okay” = the bread-crumbing to keep you attached bc they’ve now got you believing you’re not enough without them 🤦♀️
Literally. My mom is a narcissist and tells me the same thing
I noticed it involves lovebombing too.
They lovebomb you with “Gods Love” so you accept Jesus into your heart and then that’s when the devaluing starts to happen. They’re not nearly as nice or wholesome.
Essentially it is grr 😡 😠
Am I the only one who feels like they're confusing "enough" and "perfect"? You don't have to be perfect to be enough... we're imperfect because we're human. God is the only perfect being, if we were perfect, then we'd just all be gods. But we're HUMAN. And we're allowed to be ENOUGH without being PERFECT.
Keep saying what you're saying:)
Jesus died on the cross so we would be ENOUGH for eternal life!!!
God made us so that means we ARE enough. I don’t think he would bother with us if we weren’t you know? 😂
Being perfect gives pressure, being enough can give peace
@@itschris4210 you’re Right. I really had a cringe moment when she said „God Made us Not enough so we would have to depend on him More“. Thats so wrong and toxic ! After all we were made in his image. Of course that got fucked up somehow by sin but Not because he Made us that way
Pretty sure they're Mormon/LDS and that means they believe when they die that they can become Gods and Goddesses of their own universe's during the 2nd coming.
Fun fact: the author of that book has me blocked on Twitter because I called out her inability to do proper research. She really is just...an evil person. Like legitimately evil. Girl Defined being huge fans of her isn't a huge surprise.
She gives me bad vibes. I mean they all do, but her in particular.
It's all just one big cult!
@@RedMoonSolitary Bethany and Kirsten set of my narcissist radar. Their facial expressions look fake and they look like they would just keep talking over top of me if I tried to have a conversation with them.
Unfortunately, when it comes to Allie Beth Stuckey, I am not surprised or shocked she did. Good on you for calling her out on it. I, unfortunately, was given her book by my christain sister (as she loves this woman, which, yes I know it's awful she idolizes her). It was so chock full of harmful, rather ridiculous ideas I couldn't bother finishing it. Not to mention she had not real scholarly research to back up her claims. Granted, I deconstructed and left Christianity at this point, so reading this book was pointless, but I gave it a try. Misinformation runs rampant and has to be constantly combated. Not to mention just how harmful Christian ideology is inherently. I agree with you that she's awful because she perpetuates this misinformation that flat-out harms others.
That was awesome and brave of you to call out her toxic ideologies. No hate like Christian love so the saying goes.
When she mentioned the “toxic culture of self-love”, My jaw literally dropped. I want to write a book called: “You ARE enough, and that’s MORE than okay”.
Do it
There was a book. I'm OK you're Ok.
Yes! Do it! I'll buy your book! It could be one page that says "You're enough. The end."
I half want to laugh at them and half want to have a serious sit down talk with them because this is a ridiculous and very dangerous thing to tell people.
Read the book before you judge it
Do it....do it now...start now
The way they say “sisterhood” just BLEEDS cult like behavior lol
I was raised in an actual religious cult (with a "prophet" and everything) and legit we called everyone aside from our immediate family and close friends "sister" or "brother" 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Christians are brothers and sisters, because God is our Father. We have a spiritual bond,
@@alejandratovar1656 ya ok true but calling each other brother or sister when they arent your sibling is just weird and you cant change my mind
@@aliyahfriesen9725 it might be weird to you, I don't expect u to like it if ur not Christian 😂 (if u are, just have in mind that they are ur spiritual siblings, don't necessarily call them that if it feels weird.)
@@alejandratovar1656 I am a Christian and I'm cool with understanding that other Christian's are my "spiritual siblings" as you say, bc God is our father, but I hate when the labels brother and sister are used in place of a name or mr and Ms. It just mentally sends me straight back to the cult I was raised in and gives me the heebie-jeebies
"This is the culture in which abusers thrive" YES!! It really bothers me that this culture off abuse is held up as a "higher standard" and allowed to florish. 😡 🤯
flash forward to summer 2023 and the franke family's kids are being rescued from their parents' christian family dungeon with duct tape still attached to them......
"They have big ties to Nazi Germany, and are very open and proud of that-"
they wHAT
The link in the description gives some context to this if you’re interested in learning more! It’s super upsetting 😬
It is not true....it is to make them look bad...ignore this girl
@@strenghsGirl god I don’t have the patience to explain the whole situation or why what was said sounds problematic (I thought that would be obvious). Literally just look it up if you wanna “see why this is a problem”. It’s public info that’s easily found
The thing is that this part of their family history is more about what their ancestors did to others and not about what happened to them. Also it was clearly stated that their grandfather is dead. Maybe you should read the comments again?
@@MickeyAtkins Just clicked on the reference in the video description...... “How to show love to prostitutes, homosexuals, and Muslims” ummm........ what the what?? This Muslim is dying to know more. 🤣 (This Muslim also uses humor to deal with the super upsetting.).
I’m going to check out the rest of your channel... my 14 year old daughter is an aspiring therapist 💓
I know it's wrong to say this but the three women are TOTALLY the idea of "typical woman who does not understand nor care to understand the struggle and problems of people who are slightly different from her".
The same freaking hair, the same eyes, the same voice inflection and all...I feel like I walked into a convention of blonde people who would ask me to speak to the manager
You can say “white”, it’s ok 😂
it's because GirlDefined's idea of womanhood is the stereotypical "Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen being submissive little housewives and not questioning it". It's a sexist, out of date idea that fundies love to cling to (I'm not a Fundie obviously but I have friends who are and as much as I respect them. I disagree with some of their views because I was raised with different views like women having the CHOICE to stay home or work outside the home)
@@Stephie2007 I’m a Christian and I’ve never heard of the term “fundie,” until just now😳
@@Stephie2007 also I’m not even close to being a fundie lol, I feel like I’m pretty... liberal(not naming my political party, just mean by the actual definition), for a Christian! Pretty damn liberal, actually.
They'd be asking for the manager even if the person they were talking to would be Peter at the gates telling them to wait while he checks if they're gonna get in
Doesn't Jesus say "to love our neighbour as ourself" and hence we should actually love ourselves, too?
Here is an atheist speaking.
Mark 12:30 + 12:31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and with all your mind and with all your strength + Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.
Bible study for years with Jehova Witness
@@gabrieleghut1344 well, yes, but that doesn't exclude that we may love ourselves.
I was just about to bring that up! Yes, absolutely!
@@nelehe he didn't say that? He was just showing I think the exact scriptures that proved your statement. I have also studied with witnesses for years and often (sadly since the bible also tells you to look at yourself before pointing fingers) eye roll at some of these. Because they often don't understand the Bible that they are spouting and are being extremely hypocritical. We are all imperfect, but that's kind of the point. Not matter what we do at this time we will be imperfect and we will make mistakes. It's how you deal with a stumble that matters to God. Not the stumble itself or lack there of.
or maybe Biblical neighbours were just awful, and Jesus wanted you to hate yourself as equally as you hate your neighbours.
"If you don't have a topic to write a book, don't write a book" 😅😅😅 love it!
Books for capitalism’s sake lol
Say it LOUDER for the people in the back!
i was zoned in on their blank faces (gotta love fake active listening) and they fully take turns blinking
live update: how contradictory?? to say “self-love is so dangerous” but then “self-loathing is sinful”??? ig we’re supposed to just walk around numb zombies with a smile drawn on bc we pray three times day and thats happiness according to them
its so strange that they try to use God and the Bible which many ppl view as literal works of fiction as a gotcha for practices that rlly don’t hurt anyone, thanks for unpacking this nightmare message
Glad I’m not the only one who noticed
I noticed that too. Allie was so still with that blank smile in the start of the video that I thought it was just an picture of her until she blinked.
lmaoooo they take turns blinking 😂😂
I have religion trauma and I feel like this is a safe place, your channel is really helpful and important!
Religion trauma... I’m calling it that from now on.
That's a good name for that. I'm sorry that happened to you. Good vibes and internet hugs if you want.
@@nafeesahtynetta trauma has no religion
same when i found her channel i felt so recognized and validated
I get that and im glad you found a safe place but tbh i do feel like trauma is trauma.
A specific religion usually isnt the stimuli or adharently traumatic but rather the people who associate with it and try to reinforce their views onto others.
Oh damn, so self-love and working on yourself meant partying and drinking all along? Silly me, all I ever do is make sure I eat healthy, sleep enough, work out, get fresh air, have positive interactions with people and challenge myself with new scary things to battle my social anxiety. I’ve been treating myself like some tamagotchi when all I had to do is get drunk? Damn :/
😂😂😂😂THAT'S WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?! Silly me, I was hitting the gym, coloring, doing art...been doing it all wrong nayyee
@@ametrineambrosia4929 Hitting the gym also gives you muscles *gasp* which are obviously unfeminine and horrible when women have them!! We're both doomed. See you in hell I guess ._.
Yeah, we practically have done everything wrong 😅😂😂😂😂😂😂
"You are your own tamagotchi" I need that on a t-shirt yesterday
@@vespervix3385 I definitely won't stop you from putting it on a shirt XD
So, I was catholic for a very, very long time, and these girls just remind me of a lecture that a religious person gave a bunch of kids, she said, and I quote, "if you have depression, too bad. If you've been raped, or a victim of abuse, suck it up, if you are oppressed and suicidal, keep it to yourself because the son of god gave up his perfect life for all of us. " like- do you know how many people in this room you just offended....the majority of the viewers of these types of channels are literal children
I- wha-
@@a_lost_staysider CHILDREN
They are legit trying to use this "Jesus died for our sins" thing to blame victims! That and their obsession with "forgiveness" are so harmful...
Oh my goodness. Even the churches in TN don't spew that...... that's extremely worrying.
Hm that’s so weird bc that’s not what Catholicism teaches at all. I’m sorry that this was your experience!
I’ll bet girl defined are just so fun at parties
I am DECEASED 💀💀
"How to throw a proper party iN a GoD hOnOriNg wAy!"
by “parties” i’m sure you mean youth group lock-ins, right? (not coed, obviously 🙄)
I've seen people call them the "Mean Girls" of the Christian community. I'm sure they roll their eyes at all the other girls who aren't living up to their standards at church. This sect of Christianity is weird. You aren't supposed to judge, but the way it's set up, you can't help but judge others. Otherwise, how are you supposed to know who not to hang out with because they will drag you down and away from god. I'm glad I'm out, and I don't have to worry when someone tells me the are into tarot cards. I don't have to judge that anymore. Opens up the pool of friends you can have.
@@greatvalueblaine6681 they married ladies now ♥️ they have non parental chaperones so they can go to whatever secular parties their husbands allow. *snap in cross formation*
I grew up in church. I hated myself and struggled with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and an eating disorder for YEARS. It wasn't until I left the church that I finally learned to love myself and FINALLY found real happiness
Congratulations! I also left the church at a young age because they were always going against my anthropology /science studiedly.
I’m so glad you found more self- love 💕
Do you think the pursuit of happiness is the most important thing in life?
@@gillianmarcine Not necessarily the most important thing but I'd much rather be happy than depressed my whole life
@@gillianmarcine Homie, if your religion makes your life miserable, it’s probably not a good religion to follow.
Same 🥺
“God made us not enough so that we would depend on him.”
Ah yes, just like an abusive relationship!
As a Christian that one just made my eye twitch. Like that's not how that works. Did this Stuckey chick never read the story of Eden. God doesn't make inadequate things. We were made in His image. So she kinda just blasphemed big time there. Sin is the source of our shortcomings. Not God. God is the antidote to sin and the sort of road map to what we should have been before sin screwed up His perfect creation. Or that's closer to what the Bible says than her saying "God made us not enough"
I hear Christians say "You're enough." So this is something that surprised me when defined girls said "You're not enough." Like what were they thinking when they said " You're not enough? "
@@rambleonwithrosie Exactly- God made us just enough, perfectly enough. In fact, he made is perfect. The first thing he said upon making man was, "It is VERY GOOD." So... wtf are these people saying?
Also self love is great because God loves is, he loves us so much he sent Jesus for us. Why in the world would he not want us to love ourselves? God's love and self love go hand in hand. The idea of, as the creator of this video said, of dying to ourselves is dying to our sin. Our sin, our evil or wrong thoughts or beliefs that harm both us and others- that's the part of us that's not perfect.
It's like these fundie women behind Girl Defined and the book author theyre talking to are just sooooo far off from what's right.
I'm literally dissociating every two sentences, gonna take me some time to watch the whole vid. But I'm glad you covered this channel.
Friend take care of yourself!! You are ALWAYS welcomed and encouraged to skip any videos that don’t feel comfy or safe! Don’t worry I’ll be here next week too lol 😂💕
Same but slightly less so
same. it happens.
I have similar issues that I'm working with in therapy too. I wish you the best of luck! Sending you support ❤
Christian's refuting arguements that nobody ever made, and feeling smug about themselves for it..... is the whole culture🤣
Best comment ever
Not the whole culture..... it's just white Christian culture
@@averym3123 Not even that, just the elitest group with holier than thou attitudes
I’m a bisexual, white Christian and comments like these make me laugh so much 😭 it’s so true, especially when rules n stuff in the Old Testament were abolished and the only rules made after was love everyone and love yourself . Like bro these girls need to stop coming up with weird stuff
That’s the thing with girl defined though as a whole. They take things that was never an argument and makes it into an argument.
I used to go to a church for a while where it was very "you either love god, or you burn in hell" and that mentality was DETRIMENTAL to my mental health. I was so deep in self-loathing and self-hatred because they were telling me that I was a sinner, not only because I was questioning my sexuality, but also because I was a human. I attempted suicide several times while I attended that church before finally realizing that the community that I was so desperately seeking was causing this much damage to me. I still am dealing with the aftermath of that church and it has made me afraid and hesitant when around Christian people. this mindset is so devastating to people's mental health and I hope that people start calling churches and people out on it.
I’m both infuriated and so sorry that this happened to you! I know you know this but you are of course NOT a bad person and always worthy of love and acceptance! Also in case you ever need it I’ve always got the suicide hotline in my descriptions! Sending you love! 💕
I am lucky to have a supportive ex church, and my parents on the surface level are lgbtqia+ friendly, but a lot of the "ideologies" they don't agree with. I put ideologies in quotes because it isn't an ideology, just who we are. I haven't come out to my parents and I knew if I asked them to use my preferred pronouns they wouldn't because "it is too hard" and they would probabyl guilt me back into the closet because my gender identity (Either genderfluid or Bigender, I don't know yet) would be attention seeking. I wish you the best in life
My (protestant) grandmother was divorced in the 1920s. The pastor of her church used to hold the communion chalice up to the congregation and say something like, "if ye have broken any of my commandments... or violated G-d's law, then _this cup is not for you!_" which is (spoiler alert) not in the bible. It's also incredibly damaging. She didn't leave that church even after she remarried. I think all christians, if they are sincere, should be aware of the generations of harm churches have caused people, and should be ready not to defend their church or their faith, but to defend the people out here who are hurting. I'm glad you got away from that community. Your description reminded me of the whole "this cup is not for you" thing, and I just... I'm terribly sorry. I hope you're in a better place. Better churches exist, but if you don't want to attend one because of past experience, I am sure God understands...if God is still real to you.
Ah, yes the "YOU ARE SINNER BEFORE YOU BORN!"
That's why I chose starving on other side of the world over my family and hometown 🧐
Legit i used to go to church alot also i stopped cuz of covid and ofc its damaging to my mental health also basically its like *revolve yourself around god or go to eternal damnation* but thats for my church only ik it varies to other ppl
“God made us not enough so that we would depend on him” sounds fucking awful but okay??
Sounds like an abuse victim making excuses for the person that's hurting them...
"He only hits me because I deserve it."
"He *_has_* to correct me because I screw things up so much."
"He loves me really. That's why he gets so angry when I'm bad."
Its heartbreaking.
Hé didn’t make us not enough, he made us to share in the earth, his creation. we were created in his image so we could understand things almost on his level of understanding. when we walked away from God, we became unrighteous, and now bcuz of this sin condition, we depend on him to be righteous again.
@@leighly3344
Yep, there you go with the victim blaming I was talking about, making excuses for the abuser that you believe is hurting you.
Trying to tell yourself that it's *_your_* fault, what you think God did to you.
It honestly is heartbreaking.
@@stickiedmin6508 in what way is God abusive
@@leighly3344
Have you *_READ_* your Bible?!
“You’re not enough and that’s okay” just absolutely screams, “I’m really insecure so you should be insecure too so I feel better about myself!” 😬
Nailed it!!
There was a point in my life where a sticky note that said "You are enough" was my anchor. And that phrase did not tell me to engage in any debauched behavior I wanted; it just told me that I was enough. The way Allie Beth Stuckey interprets the phrase says more about her than about the self-love movement.
My social work professor tells us to rely on mantras to give us confidence and comfort in certain stressful situations. She also taught us about tapping and mediation techniques
"We're Christian PLUS!"
I'm deceased. As a Christian, I love when people call out these backward groups while maintaining respect for others with faith. Thanks for this.
EDIT:
I just want to add the Bible is about self-love & self-acceptance. This is what we're supposed to believe about ourselves according to Psalm:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
I'm not a Christian anymore, but I get what you mean about calling out the backward groups. I don't care if someone follows a religion that I personally do not follow, but I do care if they are harming others! Do you watch God is Grey? She is a Christian youtuber that I watch sometimes and really respect. She has called out Girl Defined as well.
@@kararuthruff9030 Grey is Bae.
I mean, we are supposedly made in God's image and God is supposed to be perfect so I would think telling people they're not enough could be seen as a form of heresy.
The bible is not about self love. The scriptures literally says die to self. Self indulgence is not biblical
@@BlueGangsta1958 the truth is we can never be enough but that's okay. It's not abed thing. Giving people the idea that they are enough is counterproductive. Cause sometimes people are struggling with things in their life and they need help/direction. Self love is just another cult waiting to happen
Mickey: "if you don't have a topic you feel strongly enough about to write a book about, don't write a book"
Me: "-cackling- yesss get her ass"
Agreed cos same the heck here.....
Get her, Jade!
Its amazing how these people always talk about toxicity of self love, yet you can see very very clearly, they absolutely admire and love themselves and put themselves on piedestals.
RIGHT?!
People commit suicide when they don't feel loved or have love of self. This is a toxic book and toxic people. I love that you did this video. Bringing intelligence, research and knowledge is so important. Refutting these ideas is so important.
A sensible person would think suicide was the ultimate repentance.But no they say its a sin.WHY?Because their mighty god cant do fuckall.
I’m 26 and my one and only tattoo is the word enough. I got it after I tried to end my life my senior year of high school. Such deep depression, anorexia, substance abuse.. I felt like a waste of space, but my mom always told me that I was enough. That word means everything to me.
Your mom is right and these creepy cult clones are wrong. Glad you're still here
Holy Fuck maybe I'm just emotional right now but this comment made me cry. 💙💙💙
Watching you break down the problematic things Girl Defined teaches, makes me feel so seen and heard. I use to feel so "crazy" trying to explain to the people in a campus ministry setting truths about mental health. I was studying social work and counseling, looking back on it I was being gaslit constantly, and essentially told everything I was learning in school was wrong.
That absolutely is the terrible power gaslighting has. I know it well, too. I hope you're doing okay now? Keep fighting the good fight for evidence-based, peer-reviewed information! ❤️
Every time someone mentions being a "godly woman" I just think about how Jael stabbed a man through the head with a tent spike.
literally used Jael for part of one of my.kids names. 😁
HAHAHA I'm borrowing that
Why does it make you think of that ? Honestly curious
Whats this about? :0
@@milkdromeda7.041 the story of Jael in the Old Testament. At the time Israel was under the thumb of another nation, until Israel‘s leader Deborah + army fought them off. But the enemy general, Sisera, got away and ended up in Jael‘s tent (who came from a nomadic family, so not an israelite. He asked her to hide him, she gave him warm milk to drink so that he fell asleep, and while he slept she drove a tent peg through his skull. So saving all of Israel. Its a really cool story
None of my college friends ever said: "You need to get drunk." Should have gotten new "friends". She traded one sort of social pressure for another, it's just now a high-control religious sect/culture.
I had a friend in college who adamantly and repeatedly said I should start drinking alcohol. I don't mean that he simply suggested that I start drinking. He was pressuring me a lot. People pressure you to do stuff when they find out you have anxiety or depression. He absolutely would not take no for an answer when I said I didn't want to drink alcohol. But I continued to say no. Eventually, he stopped being friends with me. When we first met, he had some physical and mental health problems, and he would complain to me, and he needed my support. I was always a supportive friend, but he ended up being ungrateful and was angry at me because I don't drink alcohol. Basically, there are people, including people who are your friends, who pressure you to get drunk in the same way evangelicals pressure you to join their religion.
@@dualscreengrant I'm very sorry that happened to you. Obviously, that was seriously messed up and you were right to cut ties with him. People who see no boundaries with others are clearly not well and in some cases a danger to others. I was addressing my personal experience and never witnessed anyone I know experiencing any pressure beyond: "you could use a drink", not repeated pressure. BTW, I also have Anxiety and Depression (and ADHD, recently officially diagnosed), so I find it personally alarming that people think they can pressure you into self-medicating. I hope you have supportive friends amongst the ones that do this crap to you.
Fun Fact: That girl's publishing house, Random Penguin House, is the same publishing house that published 50 Shades of Grey. Just so we can take her sooooo much more seriously.
thank you so much for that information, that’s the funniest thing i’ve ever heard
50 shades of grey is a terrible and toxic representation of bdsm. Her book is a terrible misinformation on real life. They fit to me
oh that is hilarious
I mean it's the biggest publishing house in the world. They also published The Testaments, Beloved, and the Book Thief. Do those books add credence to her words???
Dumb argument.
The fact that she is willing to deal with a publisher that sells books which are so against her beliefs totally illustrates her level of hypocrisy. Don't help a major publishing house that sells "worldly" books if you're so into the black and white of everything. Go with a Godly, Christian publisher.
I was strictly raised with this belief system and especially as a lesbian, it absolutely destroyed my mental health and sense of self
I've been working on it for years now but it's so hard to put the pieces back together
yeah, im back with my family now and i was raised like this too, it's such a toxic environment to be in, this constant abusive pressure to deny and blame the healthiest and most joyful parts of yourself and give your life to someone else... i hope you are looking after yourself out there ❤
yes 😞
Same
"This is how people end up in cults."
That's me, every time I attend a religious service of any kind.
those kind of christians are literally already in a cult khjgkggjgj
Literally 😂 religion is just a cult.
@@hillaryheath220
The only distinction between the two terms seems to be about their size.
A religion is just a cult that's had time to dig in and expand.
😂🙋🏻♀️same!
Fr
they would probably be supporters of the handmaids tale universe if we’re being honest here
Probably? 😆 hun you know without a doubt they would til it happens and realized they fucked up... But they will not speak about it or deemed as traitors to the objective just like Winifred or whatever's wife
Girl, this is how Handmaid's Tale got started!! They ARE Gilead!!!
Theyd be the wives of the commanders
They would not support women being kidnapped, raped, and tortured. That’s a reach, a desperate one at that.
I'm a Christian I vividly remember the pastor at my old church got fed up with all the blaming and judging and did a whole sermon on mental health. Basically it boiled down to this:
You can't manipulate god into fixing you by being holy enough. And you won't help anyone by judging them or telling them what they should do differently. If you actually want to help someone who is struggling, ask them what they would like you to do. Say you would be willing to help them look for a therapist or go to a doctors appointment. If you are struggling, know that god loves you and wants you to take care of yourself well. So, go to therapy if that would be helpful, if your doctor suggests a medication that might help balance your brain chemicals and make your life better don't be worried that god will think less of you for accepting that help. He said if someone has cancer, sure they might pray and read their bible and that may bring them peace. But, they also do chemo and have surgeries and go through the hard work of trying to get better. And if they can lean on their faith to help them get through that then that is wonderful for them. But you don't just stay in a burning building because fire fighters exist. You still do what you can to survive.
And that my friends is a better way to look at dealing with mental health while still maintaining a faith in god.
Thank you for this. This is the only kind comment I've seen about Christians on this video lol. My church has also had some sermons positively talking about mental health and how you should obviously use the resources available to you like therapy and medications if that's what you need, and how that doesn't make you any less of a Christian. This comment meant a lot so thank you :)
You had a good pastor, cuz mind where.. not like that.. at all
I follow a Christian lady on Instagram who said POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS A SIN & THAT ITS FROM THE DEVIL. -.- like girl- what?! & the fact that other girls & moms reposted her on their stories agreeing with her... I cannot.
the audacity.
(I have 2 kids & dealt with postpartum depression both times, & I’m also Christian)
You know, I think people have some confusion with certain things. All good comes from God. But then people take that to mean all bad comes from Satan. No. Bad can come just from the world, you know? The world attacking us isn’t because God doesn’t love us or care. It’s just that the world sucks and sometimes we get depressed. Or sometimes we have chemical and hormonal imbalances that make us depressed. That doesn’t mean we aren’t doing a good job or trying our best. Toxic Christianity needs to end
I grew up with an ab*sive dad and he would get drunk and physically ab*se my mother. We had to run multiple times and hide for our safety. She divorced him. Our old church judged the heck out of her and me for supporting her divorce and needless to say after that and a few other things like being judged for my mental health issues as well (the pastor straight up told me he didn't think I struggled with OCD although I've been diagnosed and struggled for years) we left. I don't care what your beliefs are, even if you view divorce as wrong, i think there should be understanding for certain situations no matter what. If the congregation could have seen his outbursts i witnessed, I think they and any rational human being would applaud and respect my mother for divorcing him, much like I respect her, instead of treating us like outcasts and not worthy for her protecting herself and more importantly her kids. Especially after she tried to stay with him and give him chances throughout the years, until enough was enough. Im still religious, but I think it's the overly religious people like this that are doing more harm than good.
I'm so sorry you and your mother had to go through that! Unfortunately a lot of so called "christians" are way too eager to blame the victims of any kind of ab*se and completely dismiss mental health... I'm glad your mother had the strength to divorce despite the lack of support. I hope you are both safe and doing well!
Fuck those fucking people for looking down on you. Y’all are absolutely incredible for keeping yourselves and each other safe in a situation that you never deserved to be in. I’m so happy to hear y’all are safe and okay! 💕
I have an abusive alcoholic father too. My mother stayed because Gawd says divorce is bad.
So I'm 45 now and have been in therapy for over 14 years now. The more distance (physical and mental) I put between myself and them, the better I get.
Speaking from personal experience, medical professionals have helped me immensely, "praying more" did fuck all.
It's gross when churches shame people for wanting to get out of abusive marriages, I'm sorry :(
God this definitely hit a bit too close to home for me, I’m so sorry you and your family weren’t better supported back then! My father was also abusive, with me getting the worst of it, and even though (from what I’ve been told) the marriage between my parents was always bad from the get-go, figuring out that I was being abused was the final straw for my mom and so she divorced him when I was 3. After we moved away, we didn’t go to church for years after that (except for occasionally going to my grandparents church whenever we would visit), despite my mom being a devout Christian at the time, and I was confused about that for a long time. Until my mom finally told me that it was because not only was everyone very judgemental towards her during and after the divorce, they even believed my dad’s side of the story over hers! I even had an acquaintance tell me that divorce is a sin (which I do understand that a lot of that came from her own feelings about HER parents being divorced for ‘normal’ non-abusive reasons), and it was really hard for me to not give her a piece of my mind with that, I was so salty! Like yeah, the Bible does say that divorce is a sin, but you know what else the Bible says is a sin? Adultery and incest, both of which my father was doing! So you’re telling me that she should’ve stayed in a toxic marriage, all while knowing that her child will suffer for it the rest of her life if she did so, and that my father wasn’t gonna do anything about his own sins regardless, so all the burden and responsibility should go to her? Fuck no!
My point is, I totally agree with what you said, that if the church knew the truth about your family’s situation, then no one in their right mind would disagree with what our mothers did. And while I do try to remember that divorce is a lot of times the worst thing that happens to most families, it can be the best thing to ever happen to other families. So people should think twice before saying all the bs we’ve been told about divorce. I wish you and your mother the best! ❤️👩👧
Not even gonna lie, I'm am HERE for the facial expressions 😂 they are perfect!
Hiding my facial expressions has never been a strength of mine... 💀🙈
They are horrible and she acts like a brat...
@@katelynnmarkle6089 You do know that with every comment you post you're helping their channel? It'd be more detrimental to their channel for you to stop commenting. Commenting boosts their engagement, so you're actually helping them.
I love the facial expressions! that says more than words can. 🙂
As a Christian, I really appreciate how respectfully you explain that this is NOT the view of most Christians. Wonderful video, thank you
I’m in college majoring in psychology and I’m trying to become a therapist. I had to do a paper about religion and mental health. And the things I found while I was researching for my paper were the most fucked up shit ever. I hate when people associate religion with mental health. This is why many people don’t get the help they want.
And then they use non-Christians having higher prescribed medication use as "proof" that not having Gawd in your life is so bad for you.
The actual truth is, the non-Christians are the ones going to actual medical professionals to get legit medical help (medication, therapy, etc) for their very real health issues rather than just praying about it.
Omg I wanna read your paper !
It's not just Mental health. My aunt and uncle pretty much killed themselves by refusing medical care for various things all because they trusted god and not doctors. Both deaths were really bad.
Its Unfortunate when people replace mental health support with prayer.
@@evelynibarra2143 and their physical health. Yes it's really really sad
i was raised very religious and some of the things you you unpacked have seriously taken a weight off my shoulders i didn't even know was there. thank you for talking about this topic
I couldn't finish the video. You did a great job breaking it down, but as a Christian, the author infuriates me. I am so sorry that a member of my faith made something so hurtful for an already vulnerable population.
also???? why do they like to act oppressed but hate people who actually are uhhhh??? thanks for this vid!! it was really interesting:)
There's a certain type of Christian that is absolutely and utterly desperate to be persecuted, simply because it says in the bible "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 5:10).
There's this belief that if they're persecuted, then they're better than everyone else somehow. Like they're uber-Christians or something.
Not all religious people are like this, just the ones like these women in the video. I've heard it called "persecution fetish".
I honestly think they belive that aswell. they remind me of preacher versions of alot of kids i went to school with. they would say things like ''racism doesn't exist here so why does it matter to us?'' first of all we had around 20 imagrants in a school of 577 (inclueding me) and 2 people of colour in our year. second, they were like this because they were so sheltered. this feels a bit tangent-ish but thats my thoughts.
As someone who wasn't just raised in this stuff but embedded in an actual cult version of it until my late 20s - I was constantly fed the idea that if people rejected us (for essentially trying to push our beliefs on them honestly) that was a form of persecution and that any government decision that didn't absolutely validate and and uphold "conservative Christian values" was also persecution...but then told we are still very blessed to be in the godly nation of America and had to defend that "godliness". But also that terrible persecution will come one day so be ready to be tortured for your beliefs in the last days. I remember having panic attacks in middle school thinking about the stuff I was taught about Revelations.
Growing up in the church I NEEDED THIS!!! Would have saved me years of heartache. I have literally been told my depression/self loathing/anxiety is from being obsessed with myself and I need to focus on God more... did that for years and it never helped. Bought some books, started actually ignoring "the church" and working on myself and since then I have actually started to heal.
So the moral of the story is that had her friends not been party girls but instead introverts that spend their nights being cozy inside, and she had spent her last trimester watching movies and eating popcorn with them in her pajamas instead.... things would have gone differently?
Right?
Coz like.
That's the conclusion I reach hearing her story. Like, ma'am. You simply were not cut for the party life. Period. You built all your current identity simply because you found out you didn't like parties.
hahaha little did she know, most of us finish college and realise we don't like parties. Its called turning 22
I'm trying to figure put how such a "godly" girl had friends that were nothing but hard drinking partiers.
But then I'm trying to picture her hanging with non blonde pretty people and...ah I think I found the issue.
She also built her formed identity on the fact that she followed god and her boyfriend would propose. This might be the most extreme break up ever :/ where did she even get this idea that ‘everyone parties anyway?’
@@ginao6810 Facts!! 🤣
These girls gives this religion a ✨bad name✨
Yup
Oh, there’s quite a bit more than these three that give Christianity a bad name.
Religion gives itself a bad name with extremely outdated beliefs from literal made up stories, it's people like these that broadcast the harmful messages and hurt those in seek of help. Purity culture is so cringe, it's unfair to cringe culture to say that. I grew up in religion and have been working these past few years to unlearn so many things. Check out Jimmy Snow for more anti-harmful religion videos
@@gamahkitten9900 I myself have been questioning why religion makes me uncomfortable. it is exactly those old believes. especially during confessions i feel extremely guilty and anxious, even tho i know nothing serious will happen. while i still enjoy the idea of being religious throught myself- as in a personal faith, i dislike the chuch as an "institute" which to me seems like it causes more "sin" than anything else
@@wozmike The concept of sin is so strange. So, this dude in the sky who never shows himself yet swears he loves everyone is willing to have people suffer for all eternity cuz... they had thoughts? Hell isn't even in the original (or as far as we can get) version. It's just to fear monger people into submission
Self love isn’t toxic, self obsession and narcissism is. How do these girls not know the difference
This is literally the reason why I developed an eating disorder. The church constantly taught me that I was worthless and useless and that I shouldn’t love myself. It took many years and a lot of work to unpack all the religious trauma.
Seriously? What kind of church you was involved with?
@@maree8708 it wasn’t just my individual “church;” it was the religion as a whole. At least in my experience.
Hi just a question. How are you now? Are you doing better, because I know that recovering from an ED can be really really hard. I just hope youre doing better
@@lauralol5678 Thank you for asking, this is so sweet. Recovery was definitely very difficult but I am much better & stronger now. I think the eating disorder will always be in the back of my mind and at my fingertips, but I know how to manage it now. :)
@@melizabeth0274 Sorry, but it's surreal read about your experience. That's why I'm asking about what church you was involved with. Cause in Catholic church, nobody teaches that a person is worthless or useless; quite contrary! I develop social work in the catholic church for 20 years now and I never heard such thing. Ever.
The selective memory Christians tend to have about the bible,...
At least now I know why I got cancer at age 19,... I just didn't love God and Jesus enough 🤣😉
How are you doing now if you don’t mind me asking
@@nelly2958 I'm good, got two rounds of chemo to go, and I'll hopefully start uni this year
Edit: Unfortunately the cancer came back, so I'm currently waiting for a stem cell transplant. So no uni this year.
Someone at my Aunts Church told my mom that my sister and I got Neurofibromas type 2 (genetic condition that cause brain and spine tumors) because she get pregnant out of wedlock and God was punishing her.
@@Lighthearted2011 that’s so shitty, I’m really sorry such an ignorant person said that
@@rrebecca3149
Good luck homie.
Fight hard.
Whatever you do, don't let anyone pray for you - studies have shown that it actually *_hinders_* healing.
Bitchy snarking aside, I hope things go well.
I absolutely love that you've made that distinction between the principles of self-love and the ideation of self-love that people just follow their own capricious whims. It really just does not get said enough.
I think she got self love and self sabotage mixed up 😂. Self love is like giving yourself the opportunity to go on spa days, find new hobbies you like, make good friends, buying yourself a treat that you like when you’re feeling sad small things like that getting hung over all the time and starving yourself isn’t self love 😭 how could she convince herself that’s what it meant.
Because they're all creepy Hitler clones from a lab in Brazil?
@@JLakis Lol. Makes sense bc Girl Defined's grandparents were Nazi's. www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/instagram-star-caught-nazi-storm-20538283.amp
@@haunted2882 Holy crap! So they are liter Nazis! The Nazis believed that women were baby makers for the Reich. They didn't allow German women to work in factories or assist in the field. They used slave labor to build their stuff. The Soviets had women in the Red Army, and all the Allies had women working because it just made sense.
@@JLakis Also the Nazi's were extreme christians and used the faith as an exscuse for alot of their politics,policies etc. Just like girl Defined who use the christian faith to be homophobic etc etc. It's really scary. Also one of their husbands(i think Bethany?) went to gay convertion therapy. It gets more and more terrifying.
Also I wanna say I don't think Girl Defined are exactly Nazi's or even neo nazi, idk I just feel weird about calling them Nazi's idk.
That's not self love though. What you listed is the Instagram idea of self-care. Self love is just learning to not beat yourself up and to listen to yourself and trust yourself
Girl defined's views are so toxic. I'm so happy to see qualified people explain exactly why their ways of thinking/brainwashing are so dangerous.
I was a Christian for all of my childhood. I still live with my parents, because I'm 17, and most of my friends and family circle believe probably like 90-95% of girl defined's message. Trying to come out of that unhealthy mind set and finding my own path with beliefs and religions is so difficult to do right now, my grandmother the other day, while still polite-ish, basically told me not to think anybody else will ever love me any more than my family, she and my mom said that they're both my ride or die. But let me say this, neither of them were ride or die when I started dressing alternative, came out as queer, or expressed contrary feelings to their religion. It's insane the things I've accepted as normal for so long. My mother has literally repeated the phrase, " Privacy is a privilege."
Hang in there Bun.
Don't let the fckkers grind you down.
Be the person you feel you _should_ be, and don't let *_anyone_* try and tell you different.
@@stickiedmin6508 Thanks, that really means so much to me right now. I got a job though and I'm slowly but surely becoming more independent now.
@@arsonanarchybunny5541
Glad to hear it homie.
You've got this.
It's not going to be easy, but you already know you're strong enough to make it.
All the best.
😁👍
I see that you posted this a year ago, and I hope you're doing ok. I was raised in the same type of environment and it is so difficult to get the poison out of your system, but you can get through it. Keep going 💜
@@bethanieflanagan8750 Thankyou, to be honest I can't say that things have gotten much better. But that being said I really appreciate your comment and it makes me feel a little better whenever someone comments from a place of understanding. ❤️
“You’re not enough (and that’s okay).”
me, a person with chronic depression: Aw damn I knew it. Time to undo all the therapy I had to receive I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Self love is legit a favor to other people. From what I can gather it's a mixture of healthy humility, boundaries and hygiene. Does that sound toxic?
Btw I'm catholic and good therapy can get you closer to God. Cuz you're supposed to see the world as God sees it and he loves you so... (To love is to will the good of the other)
Thank you! This really hit home. As a Christian struggling with insecurity and anxiety since early childhood, many of the messages I received in church were not helpful and often harmful. I needed to be encouraged to value myself but that would have been seen as self-centered and wrong.
When I told my sister her homophobic comments towards me made me feel like I wanted to un alive myself and I asked her how she would feel if people would keep saying hateful things to her. She said she would not be depressed and su*cidal like me because she has Jesus. LMAOO.
joke's on your sister, because Jesus was nice to everybody, also there is a commandment ''Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself'' so yeah, Jesus is probably facepalming everytime she insults you
PFFFF wow. She needs to read her Bible a little more.
Jesus wouldn't have hung out with her. Notice in the Bible he didn't chill with the pharisees, he kicked their asses for being hypocritical and self obsessed. She's no better than them, she fails to understand the alleged point of her religion
Oh no! I’m so sorry she said that ☹️
Sorry you had to have an awful family member. I hope you're ok and doing well.
it’s so funny to me that these girls are “living a biblical life” but they are probably wearing polyester, they probably eat cheeseburgers, and they are wearing earrings, which are all sins in the bible lmao
edit since people seem to be misinterpreting what i’m saying: i am not against wearing earrings or polyester or eating cheeseburgers, i do those things all the time. i’m calling out the hypocrisy in them saying they are living a biblical life when they aren’t following the whole bible.
They are also peddling their sh*tty books and other merch using their faith and their god as a selling point which is wrong according to the Bible. It is known that Jesus condemned peddlers using the same tactics to make a profit.
You're thinking of the Torah. The New Testament, specifically Galatians, claims that those rituals are unnecessary now that Jesus has fulfilled the prophecy.
"So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian." - Galatians 3:24-25 NIV
I do agree that they're likely hypocrites but, none of what you listed are sins, at least for Christians.
I'm no bible expert, but how is wearing polyester a sin according to the bible when polyester hasn't even been around for a hundred years?
@@sjoerddobbinga4697 the bible says that mixing fabrics is a sin, leviticus 19:19, and polyester is a mixed fabric
@@bubblewren Ah thanks for letting me know! I feel like if you live according to Leviticus anything anyone ever does is a sin.
The concept of “self-denial” is common among many religions.
Buddhists practice “anattā,” which is “no self.” It’s basically the practice of denying the ego and its demands.
I think that is the fear of the “self-love” culture- that it can become egotistical- (“I’m perfect no matter what! Even if I’m rude and inconsiderate, I’m still great and wonderful, no matter what anyone says!!”). But self love can also be expressed as patience with oneself, perseverance, and knowing one’s worth beyond physical attributes.
I can see the latter explanation of self love pairing well with self-denial- “I’m not always right or perfect (and I’m pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things), but I have enough self-dignity to know I’m a project worth working on.”
As a christian I'm just extremely disappointed with the way they use their beliefs to oppress others and force their beliefs on others. I hate that. This is why I dislike going to church. People who read the Bible and just blatantly ignore the fact that one has to keep in mind that it's a historical book and you have to keep in mind the circumstances of the time it was written in. Reading the Bible is fascinating, it really is. But Christians often forget that we focus on Jesus and his message of love and acceptance instead of the old testament or how certain people were treated at that time. That's not what Christianity is about. I'm exhausted. They are exhausting to watch
Well at least your not a fundamentalist unlike girl defined, I guess there is hope then
Thank you for this. My mother tried to tell me my PTSD wasn't going away because I wasn't praying hard enough. Religious child abuse should be a term that should be recognized and people should be held accountable for it.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I love a mental health provider who’s ready to throw hands
You saying that they don’t tell people with epilepsy to try harder made me laugh. I grew up in the Bible Belt and a girl was in the school office have a seizure and the school “nurse” started screaming over her “cast the demons out of this child”. She did this for 5 minutes before calling 911 the girl ended up with brain damage from seizing for two long. Nobody got in trouble.
I'm disabled and Christian, and I've heard a lot of ableist stuff... I'm really fortunate that I found a church that supports healthy ideas, and let a few of us change some parts in the services to make it more accessible. Removing common allergens, changing lighting that could lead to headaches and seizures, and making the order of service better for those of us with ADHD. The single stall washroom is great too, I went to one church that used to have ungendered washrooms in the upstairs part, and after people started to feel comfortable with coming out as LGBT+ they changed them to have gendered signs, even on single stall, which makes it harder for people to access.
Reading that just made my blood boil
W H A T
@@jlbeeen
Uh-huh?
So you feel compelled to love and to worship the being that you believe _created_ you disabled?
That's . . . confusing, and more than a little disturbing.
@@stickiedmin6508 The thing about a lot of Christians, myself included, is that we don't see things like disabilities as being part of the original plan, but rather that this world is flawed and we believe that someday we will be given new perfect bodies in heaven. That's very simplified, and it's a very complex issue where everyone has their own interpretations. It's like you never expect an accident to happen, but sometimes bad things do happen. It doesn't mean that they were necessarily caused by someone, but just that we live in an imperfect world where stuff happens. If we were in a perfect world, there wouldn't be any wars.
I can’t believe my family and their church considered these girls “too liberal”😭😭😭
OMG, then are they on another level? We gotta laugh to survive in this world haha.
WTF....
Wtf???? That’s horrific
Yikes
"We would be able to save ourselves." But...we are able to. I don't need a knight to rescue me, I'm a dragon.
Ah but then you need a damsel/knight to tame you and heal your scarred soul. Lol.
Say that with your chest proudly. A fucking dragon you are ☝ keep being one! ❤
Love this! Say it from the chest and breathe fire whilst doing so! 🔥 🔥 🔥
I'm fragile.... Not like a flower..... Like a bomb.
@@anneanonymous4202 tame?
My experience with Christianity was that you are so terrible and God is so good; and that you don't deserve love, but God loves you and you should be thankful; and that you are unlovable and you you obey god then he might grant you love.
You know who treats people like this? Abusive spouses.
Isn't interesting though that after abused women leave their spouses often to turn to the church? My abused mother did that. Still frequents the church.
I’m sorry that is experience you have and I am not saying you have to believe but I promise you that is not what it’s like many people try to frame it that way out of their own misery and try to pass it on as testimony. Have a blessed day!
@@gabbicassell7704 more "no true scotsman" fallacy arguments.
@@tuttt99 Could you make that sentence more user friendly please 😂
@@gabbicassell7704 No
Not “Christian+” 😂
That sounds like the worst streaming service evEr lmao😂
I'm assuming you've never heard of pureflix lmao
Sounds to me like a new hip name for the mormons
I came from the same style of Christian church as these women, and when she says that what the church teaches isn't self-hatred, she is flatly lying. That is exactly what the church teaches, sometimes in those exact words. I actually teared up a little hearing you talk about self-acceptance at the beginning of the video, the first time I really experienced any sort of self-acceptance was this year after cutting off my Evangelical parents, and I'm in my 40s. Love your videos so far, and I'll be watching more!
We can’t end racism sexism and homophobia if we don’t end religious fundamentalism. THANK YOU for bringing this to light. This needs to be talked about more main stream
How do we do this though? I’m an exjw and they live for being banned, it speaks to their persecution complex . In countries they’ve been banned it’s only made them more fervent and more persuaded they are right. They will and have even done jail time in some countries for their beliefs. They need de radicalising, but how to reach them and get past the mental blocks they’ve been trained to have since birth . They reason in a circular pattern that is crazy inducing to be part of because there’s no logic behind it
None of those things should be happening at all
I love this video because whenever I watch people like girl defined I always know that there's something off about what they say and that it's very wrong, but I can never put it into words. It's so cool that you have the knowledge to put it into words and explain it in such a refreshing way. It honestly makes me want to go back to school and study psychology. In conclusion, you rock.
Please continue doing what you do. Greetings from Germany.
This is exactly the kind of stuff I’ve been trying to unlearn. It damaged me so much growing up and I am just now coming to terms and trying to change that and find myself and love myself more
I've struggled with self-worth basically my whole life. In the church I grew up in, I always got the message that I am enough for God and that He loves me just as I am. As a Christian, I believe God wants us to love ourselves because he loves us. It hurts us to see someone we love hurting and struggling with loving and taking care of themselves, and I believe God feels that hurt as well. Telling someone they don't deserve to take care of themselves is the opposite message of the Gospel. We can't take care of others and love others properly, like Jesus commanded, if we don't feel that same love for ourselves.
Thank you for this comment. It really spoke to me and gave me some encouragement I needed as I struggle to separate the lies of what I've been taught and the truth of what God actually feels towards me
I’m happy this helped you. I’m sorry you’ve been told these lies growing up. I hope you find happiness and healing and come to know that you ARE enough and loved just the way you are!
@@stevieday4084
"Lies?"
Yes. God loves us and wants us to love ourselves. My church was against divorce. I was married to a highly abusive man. When I prayed and reflected IN THE BIBLE, I came to the conclusion that God loves me, He wants the best for me, and He wants me safe. A loving God doesn’t want us to hate ourselves, not be safe, not take care of ourselves … these women would be saying if you were getting abused, then you just aren’t praying hard enough. Come on. Some people are just psychopaths. And, for the record, I met my ex at my church sooooooo I thought he was a good Christian man …
Thank you for saying this!! I really feel like this should be said all the time!! I’m a Christian myself, and to me, god wants us to live a our lives to the fullest and be happy for who we are!
is somebody gonna tell these girls that giving your heart to God isn't the magic solution to all your problems? I'm a Christian yet I still have 99 problems and 98 of them directly stem from my ADHD and anxiety disorder.
Whoop there it is.
I have Adhd. Peter is a comfort. So Adhd :)
Huh, no one I know would call heavy partying and extreme diets “self love” yikes!
They are wrong from the very beginning. I was raised in a Christian society, where we studied Bible through and through. Jesus said that the most important commandments are the Two Commandments of Love. The second one says: "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." It means, that in the Holy Bible, Jesus said that loving yourself is as important as loving people around you. (Mark 12:30-31) I am not a Christian myself, but I somehow know the Bible better than these "Biblical girls" do.
That is not what Mark 12: 30-31 means. Loving your neighbor...in simple terms means treat others how you would like to be treated
Honestly, you trashing on Girl Defined and Allie Beth Stuckey is very therapeutic
I haven’t started yet but I feel like I will feel the same 😂
I went to an all-girls catholic school... it was simply traumatic. I can see the teachers praising girl defined and similar youtube chanels and making the class watch their videos.
Oof wow. “I stopped following Jesus and my life instantly fell apart,” is exactly and only a scare tactic religious cults use to retain members. Thanks for this video. Super interesting and a necessary critique. Can’t wait for more.
Yesssss exactly that! It’s in the same vein as porn and “lust” (which is just developmentally appropriate sexual discovery) being a gateway drug for a life of mistakes. None of that is true and it all really seems like a grasp for control. 🤮
Ironically, when I dumped Gawd like the abusive boyfriend he is, and started really working on getting mentally and physically well, my life seriously started getting better. I'm far healthier now than I ever was as a Christian.
I stopped following Jesus and going to church, and my life is somewhat better because I don't have to listen to all the... stuff... at church that makes me feel horrible and increases my depression and anxiety. :p unfortunately, I have the 'I'm going to hell now' for life, probably. Those roots are just far too deep.
Kind of funny, because I stepped away from my homophobic church and the fake friends I had there and kept on with spirituality in my own way and my stress levels immediately went through the floor.
"God made us not enough to depend on him." 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Such a culty attitude 😳🤦🏻♀️
Ew 🤮🥴
I would disagree with that statement, but not the idea. The way I believe and would phrase it is that we do have a void in ourselves that will leave us incomplete without a relationship with God, because God created us for relationship. I would say that you won't experience peace and joy and fulfillment to the degree you could with Him:)
@@AbbyEmbro it still sounds like every toxic relationship ever. Like parents that never helped you being independent because they don't want you to leave
This was actually really healing for me to watch. I was raised catholic, went to catholic school for 10 years, and my dad refused to accept that I do not identify as catholic. It felt really good to know that my feelings are really valid in this topic while not completely dichotomizing religion. Thank you. ♥️
Hi MIckey! I just discovered your channel and I so appreciate it. I go to a very Christian university and have struggled with my faith, but counseling has helped me to tread cautiously with religious leaders that make me feel ashamed. Please keep doing these reactions! I'd love to see some that also talk about relationships with parents or significant others.
I’m so happy that this has been helpful to you! Keep growing and keep loving yourself my friend! You are so so worthy of love and belonging!! 💕
Lmao I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and had the local pastor's wife tell me antidepressants make a person more depressed and that one only needs to find God. 😂 love your channel btw❤
While not completely factually wrong (seriously, there are antidepressants that have depressive feelings as a side effect) that whole statement just feels like a big cop-out. As if such a woman doesn't want to truly help you. Did that woman have any education in the field?
Did you need antidepressants to help recover from/cure your depression? I've personally gotten over it several times without any aid (don't recommend this, it's extreme suffering up to the point where you just grow numb). If medication helps you feel more balanced and calm, I'd say use it (either until you don't need it anymore or until you find a better solution).
Sometimes the lack of responsibility and compassion these people show others astounds me.
Oh lord - I'm so sorry. That's just. Gah. So frustrating. I'm so sorry.
I've been on SSRIs for years, and had to deal with my parents all "so you think you have depression? Are you sure you need these?" I'm so frustrated to hear of this situation for others.
Your faces are priceless! Made me laugh a lot whilst suffering along with you. Great job!
The context of the “die to self” idea is about “dying” to selfish and self destructive patterns of behavior. It has nothing to do with hating who we are or denying the aspects of ourselves that make us who we are. I would argue that to effectively “die to self” or overcome what holds you back, you have to value yourself enough to empathize with your future self and make the choices that will help you become the best version of who you could be. Also just because it needs to said over and over again, mental health and trauma are not a reflection of personal spirituality.
Depression? *cured*
The main reason I left church is this message:
"You're a terrible sinnner."
"But God loves you and your perfect."
In other words, be happy and joyful, but not too much because that's prideful.
As a Christian, these channels bother me.
Same here!
Agreed
they bother me too but i love to argue with them 😁
Do something about them then?
@@stickiedmin6508 they can't physically do anything to stop them lol that's why there are tons of Christians that speak out against them on their personal channels and on these peeps channel through comments. To warn those who follow them how bad it is.
I really liked to see the perspective of a therapist on these two girls.
I'm religious and I can confirm that this is straight up fundamentalist and has NOTHING to do with God or anything they are implying.
Great vid❤️
For someone going through her own healing journey, this was so informative. Thank you for sharing your professional, very educated, position. I learned a lot ❤️love and hugs
Oooh i didn't rly expect u to react to them but i'm so excited to see what you've got to say 💓
I debated it for a while but I figured fuck it! Lol thanks for watching! 🥰