Our Online Dating Experience - Christian Mingle - Christian Dating Advice

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  • Опубликовано: 29 окт 2024

Комментарии • 44

  • @bettyna_bebby
    @bettyna_bebby Год назад +3

    At 30, am here after my friends tell me to do christian online dating...of which it sounds like sooo wierdooo .
    Oh God , may u allocate me the right partner whether online or offline.. Am ready for your choice 👏

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  Год назад

      It was so weird for me too!! My sister actually signed me up, but as long as you know your worth, can guard your heart, and maintain your values, it’s a great way to meet new people looking for the same things you are! I wouldn’t hesitate to give it a shot if you feel confident in your identity in Christ!
      Praying and agreeing with you that you meet the best possible mate to seek His Kingdom with!
      For me, waiting was so worth it to meet Dustin, God has a beautiful plan!
      Don’t be afraid to open up to someone new but always put them to this test, with God as my Father, would I bring this person home to shake His hand? He loves all of us, yet also knowing us all, I surely think He has an opinion on who we should date/marry!
      God bless you in this journey!
      Megan

    • @bettyna_bebby
      @bettyna_bebby Год назад

      Woow... I think I got the confidence now to face this, ur the 3rd person telling me exactly same encouraging words , let me pray for GOD'S guidance and try out. I appreciate ur time n kindness sister in Christ.

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  Год назад

      God is so good and so cool!! Praying for you through this season!

  • @dustin_and_megan
    @dustin_and_megan  2 года назад +2

    We hope our experience will help you navigate online dating/dating well!

  • @ronpintx
    @ronpintx 11 месяцев назад +1

    My Christian Mingle marriage lasted 10 years. I finally found that she has a personality disorder that drives her to selfishly control, manipulate and *provoke-to-rage* -- with no real empathy/Love. A "normal" church member dating situation would have allowed some referrals on each others personality and Faith. Christian Mingle is a true leap of Faith -- a high-stake gamble. *NEVERTHELESS* God definitely setup this marriage *for a season* . Now we both get to enjoy our Senior years with true loved-ones -- but not each other, I would not use a dating site again -- if I could avoid it.

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  11 месяцев назад

      Thanks for sharing your story for others to read and take caution from.
      That is one aspect that can make dating online challenging. Anyone can put on a false front for sure. Or you may not see their personality fully due to lack of in-person interaction.
      We both wanted to vet each others character and personality and did it in a couple different ways:
      - Their community - did their community testify of their godly character and personality. Are they able to live out all the qualities that are needed in a marriage in their community?
      - our community - did our community see any red flags? Did they see green flags?
      - conflict - we wanted to see how each other handled conflict. And not just the fluffy conflict, something that had some meat to it. Did we handle it with respect and love?
      - Premarriage Counseling - having a couple who has a long-lasting, healthy, godly marriage counsel you before you get married and/who may help you decide not to get married.
      - Personality Tests - we enjoyed getting to know each others personality assessments as the relationship deepened and was getting pretty serious.
      But 100% agree that there needs to be prudence, discretion, and counsel because you are meeting online which could limit your ability to see a person in their true light due to limitations in interactions.
      However, to a degree, all dating carries this risk to an extent because you never fully know the person you marry. Marriage starts a journey of getting to know a person that dating in comparison, is like dipping your toe in the water.

  • @cheryljones2009
    @cheryljones2009 9 месяцев назад +3

    I have been doing Online Dating on & off since 2020.... My biggest issue is seeing profiles that really look like a guy I would be interested in getting to know further, we end up "Matching" with each other, but I end up being disappointed due to the lack of any consistent communication or "pursuit" in getting to know me & see me in person for a date??! 🤷‍♀️

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  9 месяцев назад

      Our hope is to encourage guys to do better at communicating.
      What you’re sharing is something that is “normal” in the online dating culture. Men/Ladies may start a convo and then let it die without saying anything.
      I believe the online experience (social media, online dating, etc.) is dehumanizing in this regard because they forget a person is on the other side of the keyboard.
      I think getting to a phone call/facetime can help get matches to a place of connecting on a person-to-person level instead of a 1-sided swipe, text, move on to someone more… interesting, attractive, closer, responding now, etc. it creates a dopamine release versus a deepening relationship.
      I actually did the same thing as you and hopped off and on for a couple years because it was frustrating. But, I think there are ways you can with wisdom cut through the crap culture of online dating.
      I hope this helps. - D
      I pray that the man worthy of your heart has the boldness and courage to pursue you as you deserve!
      I agree with everything Dustin said. It’s unfortunate so many relationships never get a chance because even the good guys are not asking the good ladies on dates. I hope things turn around at the right time with the right guy!
      -M
      I think the big thing is if there is an initial connection in the chat, to ask for a phone call/facetime and see if it goes anywhere.

  • @theferrones
    @theferrones Год назад +1

    I feel pretty badly for people dating these days. There was a time when you could meet someone at church but it’s pretty rare now. Not impossible just challenging. I’m originally from Orange County California and high school programs in church was typically well done as far as pulling in kids from all over the place. But after high school: You’re definitely going up hill. Now you have the problem of extending your life into college or career (both) and need to keep your eyes open because there’s a lot of speed bumps in life if you’re approaching 30 still single, there’s the perception that you’re having issues. And some people’s imagination goes into hyperdrive. And of course once you date someone there’s an investment and it feels like the meter is ticking. At the same time you don’t want to make a mistake because you’re potentially shooting yourself in the foot. I was fortunate that my brother in law was a pastor who set me up with someone in the airlines he’d known for a long while. So anyways, to make a long story longer, we’re still married after a few years and now my son is being tortured thru the same process. Hard to watch. Cheers, Bill

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  Год назад

      Thanks for taking the time to share! Definitely that it is a tough dating landscape. In the midst of that, I believe God will give Christian’s wisdom to establish godly marriages that glorify Him!

  • @ISing4Jesus6353
    @ISing4Jesus6353 9 месяцев назад

    I met my late husband online in 2009. But I did have to go through quite a few men beneath my standards before I found him. When he passed away in 2021 I told myself I would never go back to online dating. I feel like it's gotten worse (catfishing, scamming, etc.). But honestly, as a 61 y.o. widow I'm not meeting anyone at my church. Most of the men in my age range are married. I feel like I'm walking around with a big "'W" on my chest that screams "Stay away...she's a widow!" The only man I was interested in just wants to be friends and only wants a companion to do things with which is fine but it needs to be with boundaries. I have no intention of "church-hopping" just to meet a guy. I feel like God would really frown on that because that's not what going to church is for. I guess the dating apps just scare me.

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  9 месяцев назад +2

      Dating apps are tough. No sugar coating that. The app you choose to use can determine the quality of the pond you’re fishing in.
      All those things are difficult to navigate as the dating pool is smaller as you referenced. However, God can bring you love again. We know two couples that were widowed and remarried and were older than you at the time.
      We’ve been considering interviewing a friend who has gone through the process of widowhood and now remarried. He’d bring a lot of wisdom to the grieving, healing, and loving again process.
      Thank you for taking the time to share your story and thoughts with us. We are praying for God to bring the right opportunity your way.
      -D&M

  • @YAWEHPrincess_
    @YAWEHPrincess_ Год назад

    Thank you! ❤ God bless you guys immensely

  • @Jeff-xy7fv
    @Jeff-xy7fv 10 месяцев назад

    For every couple that meets on a Christian dating site/app and gets married and has a successful marriage, there are 100 whose relationship doesn't work out and another 100 who never meet up with anyone at all. How did you guys do it?

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  10 месяцев назад +2

      It would be interesting to see the statistics.
      I think what set us up for success was the process of becoming healthy individuals before pursuing a relationship.
      I whole heartedly believe that a healthy relationship requires two healthy individuals.
      What makes up a healthy individual
      - Identity - we knew who we were in Christ
      - Purpose/Vision - we knew our calling
      - Values - we knew what we believed and why (specifically biblical worldview and beliefs)
      - Community - we had community surrounding us
      - Church - we had a church we served in
      Another way you could look at this is what qualities would you like in a spouse? Now ask yourself if you possess those qualities. You ultimately attract who you are. If you want to attract a godly wife, seek Christ to become a godly man.

  • @miriamclayphan2169
    @miriamclayphan2169 3 месяца назад

    Hi Dustin and Megan, I so appreciate all you've shared here and your experience.
    Id love to know your thoughts on what you both think about the women sending an initial message to a man to initiate a potential conversation? Do you think it is ok for a woman to do this? i.e. not then pursuing the man in the relationship but just literally sending that initial message or smile/wink?
    Id love to know from a man's perspective how this appears???
    Thank you so much for any help or wisdom on this.
    Bless you guys, Miriam

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  3 месяца назад

      Thanks for the encouragement!
      From a biblical example, Ruth took initiative to approach Boaz. So, we think it’s okay to initiate or send the first message.
      The thing I would add as context or caution, you want the guy to respond and start initiating soon after because you don’t want to get down the line realizing you married a passive man.
      For example, after Ruth initiated, Boaz took action to be a kinsman redeemer. He promptly resolved the open issues with the one who was in line before him.
      From a man’s perspective, I think it communicates confidence, which is also really attractive to see in a lady.
      You just have to be emotionally ready if they don’t respond.
      However, in the dating process, you have to take steps of faith, which is risky.
      But Jesus, the greater Boaz, our kinsman redeemer, did the riskiest thing bearing the cross we deserved (side gospel note I always found really cool)!
      I hope this helps!
      D&M

    • @miriamclayphan2169
      @miriamclayphan2169 3 месяца назад

      @@dustin_and_megan wow that really is such helpful advice, thank you. I actually really agree with all you've said there re. pacivity from the man as well. I think a woman needs to be very mindful about the interactions that then follow that initial message.
      However, it's encouraging to know that you believe an initial message to be an attractive quality...that's good to know.
      Thanks so much to you both. Really appreciate having other Christians perspective on this issue in today's culture.
      Bless you both in your ministry and marriage, Miriam 😊

    • @miriamclayphan2169
      @miriamclayphan2169 3 месяца назад

      Hi again Megan and Dustin,
      I wondered if there's any way I could get some further advice from you both? I am currently using an online dating site (recently set up my profile) and I have messaged a number of guys whom I feel could potentially be well suited to me. However, I have currently got no responses at all and I'm just wondering if it could be because of how I have answered some of the questions in my profile. I'm a strong Christian and so iv tried to be as honest as I can be about how this impacts my life etc. At the moment Im just struggling to know what it could be....and im.wondering weather it is just the fact the fact that I'm reaching out to them and if these type of men find that an attractive quality!? At the moment I'm not quite sure.
      I recognize that this is a big thing to ask but I'm wondering if there would be any way I could forward you both a sample of my profile with my photos so that you could give me some advice on what you think I could do differently. I also recognise that it's important to be honest and be yourself which is really what Im trying to do. But I'm wondering if there are things I could word different or say differently. I'm just trying to work out if it's something from my end or if it could just be these men are not right/ready to communicate with me. Perhaps they feel that there are aspects of my personality that would just not suit them!?
      Any help you could give me wound be deeply appreciated.
      If you feel there's some way I could share my profile with you it would be such a help. If not then then I understand fully and just appreciate any advice.
      Many blessings,Miriam

    • @miriamclayphan2169
      @miriamclayphan2169 3 месяца назад

      *I'm also aware that it could be the distance as, from things I have listened to, often men struggle more with the idea of a long distance relationships. Do you think that's accurate? All of them live a few hours from me. Obviously there is nothing I can do about this though.
      Thank you both again x

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  3 месяца назад

      Megan didn’t get any replies from guys she messaged. The tough part is you’ll never know the exact reason why.
      I messaged quite a few ladies and didn’t get responses on most.
      Online dating accelerates the emotional process of dating and it’s important not to build castles in your mind (excited about someone before anything’s official).
      In regards to your profile, typically the more transparency the better. It helps attract people who are sincere and serious about online dating.
      The distance thing is a real hurdle, and we both had to decline talking to people that lived further away than our liking.
      We hope this helps!
      D&M
      We do offer online dating coaching virtual calls that you can schedule by the calendly link in the video notes. However, it does cost.

  • @Wimplo86
    @Wimplo86 9 месяцев назад

    Wow she chose you over a pilot! That’s quite a feat

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  9 месяцев назад

      And I was jobless after getting laid off of my job due to Covid! 😂- D

  • @anacanales9722
    @anacanales9722 Год назад

    Thank you for sharing your experience! I have the same issue with choosing or not to relocate. My question is how far would be acceptable distance wise? I wouldn't want to limit my opinions of the person God has for me.

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  Год назад

      Gosh, that is a tough question and we both wrestled with it a lot before doing online dating.
      A couple items that may help you process that decision:
      - Pray About It - Jesus is the Prince of Peace and He guides us in peace.
      - Feasibility - at some level, the dating process will require you two to talk face to face. Will you be able to do that financially and time wise giving the distance.
      - Willingness - if you were to get into a relationship that leads to marriage, would you be willing to have an open handed/hearted conversation about where to live and who relocates? I began to realizing what was too far for me when individuals from the other side of the country chatted and I felt an uneasiness. I felt like I was already grieving the idea of leaving family. I knew I had to limit the radius at that point.

    • @anacanales9722
      @anacanales9722 Год назад

      Whao I never thought about it like that. God has been speaking to me a lot about a balanced lifestyle and the importance of relationships, so I'm not sure how a long distance relationship would fit into that. I wouldn't want to leave my friends and family neither. I would definitely pray about it for God to show me that acceptable distance. Thank you so much! ❤

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  Год назад

      Your welcome!
      Praying God blesses you with wisdom to navigate the process.
      I would add one more thing, I think dating, especially long-distance online, requires community on both sides to validate the character and heart of the individual. I think it is easier for a person to put on a mask online where they can craft their responses.
      We hope this helps!
      Blessings,
      Dustin & Megan

    • @anacanales9722
      @anacanales9722 Год назад +1

      @@dustin_and_megan
      Thank you! That's very true. I was also undecided about sharing my online experience with my friends and family, specially at first, but their support and feedback can be helpful in that sense, which is something I haven't thought of before. Thank you for your great advise. I really appreciate it!

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  Год назад

      Glad it helped!
      Praying for you!

  • @dellabesong9447
    @dellabesong9447 Год назад

    I found this valuable, thank you both❤

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  Год назад

      So glad to hear there was something of value for you in the video!
      We pray for the best for you - D&M

  • @hinnelein1
    @hinnelein1 Год назад

    Thanks for that!

  • @cutemagreth4291
    @cutemagreth4291 Год назад +1

    We are hop

  • @marymay1408
    @marymay1408 11 месяцев назад

    😢am older lady who have nothing but luck in online dating 6 scammers each one asking me for money...i really want be married and ready be a good wife just having lot bad luck in love am not nobody sugar mama..😢

    • @dustin_and_megan
      @dustin_and_megan  11 месяцев назад +3

      Thanks for sharing some of your story.
      I’m amazed at Jesus ability to redeem and restore. Since He is love, He is able to bring love into any situation.
      He is able to bring hope into any situation that feels hopeless.
      And just like Sara laughed in her old age thinking it was impossible for God’s promise to come to pass. God had Abraham and Sarah name their kiddo Issac, meaning God laughs.
      What’s amazing is God doesn’t even reference her laugh of unbelief in the hall of faith of Hebrews 11.
      God can bring a hopeful and faith filled laughter and joy over your situation just the same.

  • @InternalIntelligenceAgency
    @InternalIntelligenceAgency 9 месяцев назад

    Dustin and Megan
    Earl Edmonds/IIA Agent Of Internal Intelligence Agency
    For The Homeless: For Fair Decisions On The Best Environment
    :Who are you?
    :What do you love?
    :How did you get started on Christian Mingle?
    I'm a peacemaker. Furthermore, my fruit of the spirit is Longsuffering. However, Jesus gave me The Gift Of Working Maricles as an IIA Agent.
    I always wanted to be a Scientist and love writing poetry. Perhaps, I'm working on my Homeless Poetry Collection called IIA. I wrote an article about 8t called "How To Create A Government Brand Name" I changed to "How To Work From Home" and I act as a current Christian Mingle Member.