What one skill = an awesome life? | Dr. Shimi Kang | TEDxKelowna
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- Опубликовано: 3 май 2024
- This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Are you balanced in life? What is the best approaching to finding balance...to creating an awesome life?
Dr. Shimi Kang is an award-winning, Harvard-trained doctor, researcher, media expert, and lecturer on human motivation. She is the author of the #1 Bestseller, The Dolphin Way: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids Without Turning Into A Tiger (Penguin Books 2014). Her articles appear in major media outlets including the Huffington Post, Psychology Today and TIME Magazine. Dr. Kang is the Medical Director for Child and Youth Mental Health for Vancouver community, a Clinical Associate Professor at the University of British Columbia, and the founder of the Provincial Youth Concurrent Mental Health and Addictions Program and BC Children’s Hospital.
About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
The key to big returns is not big moving stocks. It's managing risk in relationship to reward. Having the correct size on and turning your edge as many times as necessary to reach your goal. That holds true from long term investing to day trading
Would recommend *ROCHELLE DUNGCA-SCHREIBER,* cos she's very proficient in her game I have seen loads of news of
As someone who is an introvert, I have to argue with her assessment. Being by myself is my happy place. I can socialize and talk to anyone and get along with everyone. But at the end of the day all I need is a good book, a movie or a video game and I'm perfectly content and happy. Being around people for too long is to me, what isolation is to most people, torture.
The same here
Couldn't agree with you more.
I agree. I greatly enjoy my alone time. To the point that people think it's unnatural
Wouldn't alone time for introverts be DOWNTIME. I always personality test out EXTREMELY INTROVERTED. I would however, agree with her that too little "OTHERS" destroys even healthy extreme introverts. Yet, gimmie lots of alone time. Play too seems more "brain lightening up" to me with "OTHERS" as long as that radical competition balogna gets outlawed. God made one human who can jump the highest, make the highest % of 3 pointers, procreate the most desireable currently beautiful children or be the perfect physician. And only one Son of Man through which Paradise can be ANY body's. ALL that makes competition, even comparisons unneccessary. Even WRONG.. OFFENSIVE to The Creator, Who is incapable of mistakes, incapable of not Loving or incapable of allowing INJUSTICE to endure. Once in Eternal Paradise, each one will know SO MUCH more than those pitiful littles.
It drains my energy. Dont know why but it does
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" (Jiddu Krishnamurti)
On point. I step out to connect with society from time to time and just as quickly I retreat, like the ground hog: five more months of winter. The problem, it seems to me, is that people have been extremely conditioned to abandon what makes them special as individuals. They see movies, they act out the movies. Individuals have allowed so many agents of conditioning a free reign in their lives, and they come out uninteresting, boring, extremely shallow and a sheer waste of time and emotions. Where is the attraction in that?
I'm appreciating farming more after reading this quote.
Wow..I use his quote often I knew J Krishnamurti in the 70's and 80's...he was so authentic....
Adjusted to yourself is the key. Things will never be perfect outside of us.
Good quote.
But you look like AthleanX.
4:35 Adaptability is the key to a prosperous life.
9:10 On Dolphins
10:28 P. O. D.
10:36 Play [have fun without rules].
12:17 Others [meaningful connections]; Social connection is a basic of life
13:55 Downtime [sleep] Rest and Relaxation is the basic of life
15:38 Look deeply into nature, and then you will understand everything better
If everything works well, you will adapt to your circumstances and prosper.
Thank you
I thought in order to play rules were necessary. Sure the rules can be played with but it seems as we grow up its the very rules (limitations) that make games interesting. If you're playing chess, its not fun if your opponent breaks the rules. In essence rules give life a sense of meaning.
Thank you.
what does have fun without rules mean?
thank you for your description! a read for start my 2022!
My dad use to say "rest is not idleness" boy was he right. R.I.P dad. Your wisdom is so needed today.
Sorry for ur loss 😔
God Bless your father-and by you following & more so sharing his advice-shows your love & respect for him!!!
I lost my Dad at 48 (I was 19) & I quote him all the time!!!!
When I was about 9 I had been aggressively unkind to one of my playmates. I thought this was very 'macho' & manly of me & I went in & boasted to my dad about it. He said 'you shouldn't do that' . I looked at him with surprise & possibly a little disappointment showing in my facial expression. He said 'Do unto others as you would be done by.' I reflected on that long & hard & ever since I have been a kind & considerate person. DADS ARE SO IMPORTANT ! My dad was big & manly, he had fought through 2 World Wars. I would not have taken that advice from my mother.
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"… used to say…" ❤️😉👍🏼
Our stress does not come solely from a lack of downtime to many people. Most from unable to achieve personal greatness. Lots of people struggle with living, making money to put food on the table and having a roof over their head. The speaker speaks from her own personal view which is helpful for those who shared the same living situation with her. As the Director of youth and Child Life admin, she does not have trouble making enough money to raise her family. And that's where stress come from in life for many people.
teresa chase Sorry for your losses. My condolences, Teresa. Social media helped a lot of people to remedy in situations alike and can bring connections to you. Facebook, Twitter, and online communities such as forums and chatrooms.
Binbin Li. Thank you. im in several fb forums for greive and some on health. it does help when you start to loose faith in the doctors. have a blessed night
Binbin Li Yup.. this talk is meant to solve rich peoples existential problems.
The rest of us were too stressed out wondering how to pay next month's rent to pay attention to this video ;-)
Binbin Li Land, labor, capital, management abilities are the factors of production. too bad that most who are in the labor barely can afford to P.O.D. Or put food/roof on the table/head. Some ideas master/servant, wise/not so wise, set up, hypnotized into doing something, labor is always minding the interest of other 3 factors, and the other 3 is ordering the life of labors!! Worked your way out! Its fun, challenging, pod your way out, its a maze, humans find ways, that makes us humans or not it does not make us less humans!!!
ilike beinganonymous. lol isnt tht the truth ;)
Best skill to learn is awareness. Everything is connected to that.
CateDoge Theres a few types! Self awareness is the most vital to your survival !
Especially, when on the web.
Amen
@@jeanneeber pp0⁰0⁰ ⁰
Can you elaborate on this?
P. O. D. - Play (have fun without rules). Others (meaningful connections). Downtime (sleep). If everything works well, you will adapt to your circumstances and prosper. Good night ;)
Thank you i was hearing pot hahahaha
Thank you I was starting to think that maybe Ted talk actually pay these people and by the minute. I'm not sure if they have to feel a specific amount of time every time but after the five minute Mark I was like a dab debility and took you 5 minutes to say adaptability
@@christianlopez1555 daily dose of pot XD
that's doesn't sound so bad either
Thank you Vilmantas :) You saved me time so I can go to sleep instead of watching..
As interesting as that is, many people work more than 40 hours a week and still live in poverty. Many people who live that life cant P.O.D. and put food on the table or raise kids or live in a decent shelter. Instead we struggle til we die. Poor people cant adapt because of a landslide of obstacles that keep us down.
As a political prisoner that went through torture physically and at some point emotionally and mentally, the salutary confinement was the worst aspect of being in prison for me but yet my skills in adaptabilities and imagination helped me somehow not to break in pieces or lose my integrity or my believes .
Many of us are single moms not by choice, and are exhausted but trying to stay focused and positive and trying to rebuild our health, not stressing as much and have to get rest when given the chance and the thing that helps me the most is staying connected to my Authentic friendships and just finding something to laugh about and staying positive.
i dont mean to be offtopic but does anyone know of a way to get back into an Instagram account..?
I somehow lost my account password. I love any assistance you can offer me
@@marshallangelo4000 try forgot password and you will get a code or link on your email or phone ...
Single mom's not by (good) choices
@@willzill538or your partner turns out to be extremely abusive after having children, and you become a single mom due to protecting your child- good choices.
People can drain us too..it's important to find supportive ones.
Absolutely .........Toxic personalities!!!
“Dolphins never compromise the basics of life”
This is the oxygen I didn't know I needed. No more guilt over basic needs.
I completely understand what she's saying about adaptability. I agree with her, 100%. I just don't care to adapt to most of "this world" we have now. The way I have found peace, which may be different for everyone, is to adapt by not going with the flow of globalization. For everyone, it's a different adaptation. I hope everyone finds theirs.
when i am in depression or exiety i frequently listen to music to remind a wondeful period of time
Invest in local community.
@@perrizepeda9638 i just watch comedy and have funn lolllll
So, live a porpoise driven life? Got it. As a physician treating syndromes of ADHD and associated anxiety, depression, this is one of the most salient presentations I’ve heard.
Go Miami dolphins!
She summed it all in a great way, the basics are the key❤️
"Play is how we adapt"...This is the connection between the game and education which leads to obtaining a skill and then the confidence! Well Done Dr!
I love the concept of adoption to me it means not only assimilating the influence of the current environment into your life but also being true to yourself attracting authentic people people who elevate you and make you see things from their perspective thats a profound human connection and adaptation to me
I Love This Speaker, "The Dolphin Way" A Perfect Thought
We all want the best of life for ourselves and loved ones.Watching this I was forced to reconsider what I should strive for and how! Profound presentation but then so obvious- this is a must watch for anyone who wants an awesome life!! Fantastic!
Thank you! So true! Some of us have to become ill to learn this. I'm not sorry to have had the chance to wake up, but it cost me a lot of time. I hope to encourage you to take charge by letting go of all the things that don't serve you and humanity. Love your life!💞
There are gems within this talk, but I’ve never liked Legos, even before they had rules. I have lots of downtime; I think it gives me too much time inside my head. For me the most healing thing is gratitude.
Our speaker has so many accomplishments that must feel great to talk about in public. Seems to me this talk is more for the Haves than the Have Nots.
Spectacular talk. Shimi made me organize POD. Thanks a lot!
This was really amazing. Thank you for this TED talk!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful truth and wisdom, I really needed to hear this and will set out to practice it!
Breaks are the moment of breakthroughs, that looking inward gives us innovation and inspiration - nice.
Thank you Dr. Shimi Kang! One of the best TED talks I’ve ever heard! 👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I heartily agree with Dr. Kang. God bless this lady.
I love her book " the self motivated kid". She is inspiring and a breath of fresh air
Love the LEGO analogy - I’ve thought about how it’s changed and never liked it
Congratulations...soo smart.. and thanks a lot for P.O.D.... 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
OUTSTANDING! THANK YOU. Everything in balance. We are an unbalanced culture, out of touch with our nature. She is so right. I am a baby boomer and have led a rat race life for too long ... overworking to achieve something is even creeping into my retirement. I need more real play time!
Thank you Dr Kang. I enjoyed your presentation. Adaptability and POD... I'm "all in"!!
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I love how people say, "I turned out OK." That's a red flag.
wins the comment section. Well done sir
So rightly said survival of the fittest. Thank you, bless you n All your dreams come true.
I was struck by your amazing presentation .
1. The one thing: 4:29
2: Supporting evidence 6:17
3. Currrent social diagnosis 8:00
4. The dolphin's way: 10:08
Thank you ma'am. I enjoyed it and I will implement this technique.
With all respect to the fact that people watching this come from diverse situations I found great value in her comments and learning. Society does glorify work, and there are also those who must work many hours just to get by. In either case would it not be ideal to have time to be creative (play), socialize, and have downtime? How we get there is often the more difficult question especially when options seem few. TED talks rarely answer this type of question due to time constraints, but it allows us to exercise our own creativity in solving our own problems.
Thoroughly enjoyed listening to your speech.
So wonderfully simple and practical and achievable advice!
"Well, grit is great but we all know, hard-working gritty people who have no joy or meaning in their lives." damn this hurts me.
The whole talk was filled with amazing points. I loved it! Thank you, Dr. Kang.
thanks
Apologies for all the ranting and negativity in the comments below - I think this was one of the best TED talks I’ve seen in a while, well constructed, delivered with authenticity and left me feeling more compassionate for myself and those around me. Thank you for all your hard work in this area and for sharing your story. You should be very proud :)
I LOVE THIS GIRL FOR SHARING HER KNOWLEDGE ABUOT JOY!
THANK YOU!
She's very smart and so beautiful.
What a wondrful talk. Thank you so much Dr. Shimi Kang. Everything I have been thinking about for years have been very concisely related to your talk. I am so impressed with your delivery. Respect! x
oh i'm so glad she said that about modern day lego!
Thank you for your speech!!! ❤❤❤
She's right, the environment is changing and we have no control over it, so we must adapt
Great talk. I am going to start taking a daily dose of POD everyday. Really liked the comparison to dolphins! So true and makes sense.
Superb...my take away from this video...When I played I found new Passion...When I connected I found new Purpose...When I rested I found new Balance...So true..
Amazing talk, thank you x
The presentation is amazing, you speak at the right speed, I really much obliged to you, thank you 👍
My greatest ideas come to my head when im relaxing by myself in nature
or at the moment a turd is squeezed out.
Incidentally, I become a genius when squeezing one in nature.
she carried herself elegantly...BTW , nice research....perspective shifted :) !!
I needed to hear this. Thank you so much for this tedx talk.
Indeed! Thank you
I have been saying something similar for decades, of all the courses we teach and learn, of all the things we know and master, the one thing we arent taught is how to be "happy". And imho it should be taught every year of school, and if wise we should continue this "study" throughout our lives. For now, if your not "happy" as much as you would like, then you can try focusing on this....do what you love, or love what you do. If you have an interest, a calling, anything your drawn to then GO TO IT, you only have one life, we must use it wisely if we want to be wise, and life fullfilled lives. If you dont have any interest currently, then focus on learning to love whatever it is you are doing, even a job you hate can be turned into one you love i assure you, and imagine the power you gain when you achieve that ability, nothing stands in your way after that, then your/ we are, truly free. 😜😊✌👍👋🙏😀
In my opinion the reason why nobody teach how to be happy, is because the happiness is coming from INSIDE !
Or at least should be... if not you are unhappy what ever you do with your life, like carrier , families, wealth, etc...
Excellent and inspiring
very important, excellent, many thanks
Excellent. Gives so much to consider and to modify your thinking about the way you perceive others and life.
Isn't it funny? We got washing machines, can reach any point in the world within 48h, got internet (imagine communication before electricity) and numerous machines working for us. Yet, we have less time than before.
qacwnfq q
Growth without limits never ends well...
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The answer to that is very simple: devaluing of human labor and interest based society, taxation is close third on this list.
you have a flying washing machines O_o ?
How do we become sufficiently adaptable? Simple: prioritize health and play! Dr. Kang makes a great case for this approach, for those who haven't fully realized its value, yet.
Dr. Kang is incredibility beautiful and intelligent. Fantastic talk!
= doesn't mean something is something; it means 2 things have equal value and I wish people would get it right already.
key= volunteering
Tony D it’s a great example of the O In POD
I'm so glad RUclips allows me to watch videos at 2x normal speed.
same, kinda wish they let them go faster
You're too stressed!
Guys, like Willard's comment so that it'd come up on top and people like me could be reminded earlier to hit that 2x button!
she talks very slow. 2x is still not enough.
She talks very slow but somehow when you do 2x faster it is still perfectly understandable without spending any effort. I think she really is trying to talk slower consciously She probably thinks she will be understood better if she talks slower.
So well spoken! Great talk
wow amazing wonderful so true to the core
Excellent. I would love to have a coffee with Dr. Kang one day and learn more about your journey. All the best
Jarur dhillon saab 😀😀 ☕☕
Personal Development is key to finding your true self!
Great talk, TEDx!
Thank you!
Excellent presentation and thought provoking topic. Appreciate the efforts of Dr Shimi.
A humble suggestion- I feel like audience can get the best out of all presenters if TEDx can allow them some buffer time rather than asking them to stick to exact time frame. This allows them to dedicate 100% of their talent in delivering the presentation than being equally concerned about the timer running.
Adaptability is a great way to survive, but not great if you wish to thrive. Napoleon wasn't a great general because he could adapt to his setting. If you want to get up from the table never having lost any money, but also not winning any either, than do everything you can to make sure no one notices you were even there. Just adapt. If you don't want anyone to hate you than adapt socially. No one will hate you. In fact, they'll likely forget you were ever there. Adapt. If you never want to get fired, then adapt. You never will. You'll also never know what it is that you could have been in life other than a guy who was never fired. To be the person you are, you must stand firm in who you are when the temptation is greatest to adapt to something else.
Good observation. My synopsis of your objection is: Adapting to WHAT? Kang offers her adapting with the POD solution to address going overboard on goal-setting & stress. (War is the most complete justification of goals & stress, so choosing Napoleon was the most extreme example of being notable that you could choose, but I get your point.)
Perhaps an apt continuing question might be, "What *IS* the "person we are"? Are humans merely a product of their culture and ways children are raised? Or can we adapt (by using POD play, others & downtime) to CHOOSE what values and convictions we "are," might want to "sponsor" or "represent," (and hopefully embody and demonstrate in inventive, practical ways) despite our original conditioning?
Hopefully, a person would not get too focused on the "OTHER" section of Dr. Kang's POD idea, sacrificing what we discover is true for ourselves during the "PLAY" feature of POD. Experiencing the effects of how we act and responding to balance our efforts in real time *is* adapting. In a perfect world, this usually generates prioritizing convictions and goals that come from experience, without abandoning any advantageous features.
However, I have experienced those limitations you outlined above in being "too" adaptable by not really being deliberate enough at arranging my priorities. For awhile instead, I made "Adapting" THE priority and suffered the effects you describe! But I was able to recognize what was happening and hit the "refresh" button.
I'm hoping you are still able to respond...!
Kristopher Scott all things in moderation, dear. Also, one must use common sense to know when to apply particular concepts. She's refering to the epidemic of stress, anxiety and other emotional/ mental disorders that have developed as a result of people not thinking for themselves when it comes to life in modern society. She's not referring to EVERY SINGLE aspect of living life and obviously not war
This works if you are working in a meritocratic environment. It doesn’t work if you are working in a dysfunctional environment where you expected to adapt to inefficiencies.
@@muddyshoes4517 Dr. Shimi Kang referred to bacteria, plants, animals (particularly dolphins), large and small businesses, corporations, humans, governments, empires, raising kids. That sounds like nearly all of life to me.
In my experience, a great deal of stress is born out of struggling to conform. It is often as simple as being empowered to be great the way we are. As I said, if you get good at adapting, it is a great way to survive (nearly anywhere). But if you go where you are appreciated instead of just tolerated, you will benefit much more.
@@En8el Adaptation has its place but cannot be 'THE priority' as Dr. Shimi Kang emphasizes. Instead, prioritize your goals and you will naturally adapt accordingly.
Without YOUR true goals, you can have all the play, interaction and rest you want (as many of us already do these things to some degree already), but without a prominent focus on what we want (our goals), we are left with stress and little to show for it. Do you have goals and the dedication to follow them is more the question.
Think of it this way: What if we'll have stress anyways? What if eliminating stressors from our lives with all kinds of made up new skills (packaged as acronyms) do little more than serve as a temporary break from the stress? What if the stress isn't going anywhere no matter what and this is simply as good as it gets? If that's true then maybe it's more about finding the thing(s) that make the stress worth it. A specialist selling a book on RUclips isn't likely to tell us what that thing is. We'll have to answer that for ourselves and when we find it, instead of compromising in order to adapt and survive, we see these things through for better or for worst. A great man once said, a person with nothing to die for also has nothing to live for (MLK Jr.).
Awesome! !!!
Super important life advice.
They should teach this in schools!
a song made me quit smoking and drinking to reach a point which is secret
Heartfelt thanks for this new perspective!
I worry for mankind.
Very good, very simple to understand, and, as a dolphin admirer (I spent 8 - 10 weeks studying whales and dolphins 1975 with a class of 4 - 5 year olds and I learned so much about dolphins, and from my class), I love the advice here.
Beautiful! No wonder I feel so much better when POD is part of my life! Thanks for passing this on! I'll be doing the same.
ADAPTABILITY 🙌🏼 POD 💜
thanks Shimi for an Awesome mindful brillient Ted talk
I love staying by myself and reading. It really depends.
Me too but don’t over do it
GREAT analogy with the Lego's!
Thank you for this such a useful video!!!
"Look deep into nature and then you will understand everything better "
solitary confinement is involuntary! setting oneself apart and having full control over oneself has no deleterious effects on the human. instead it can be a source of strength. being alone not same as being lonely!
Not true, we are naturally social. Hormones release she talked about is true. U isolate, u lose everyday social skills which is d bedrock of our society.
Thomas Ajah
Exactly!
Being alone is not the same as being lonely!
> being alone not same as being lonely!
Yeah and solitary confinement is not the same as setting some time aside for yourself. Absolutely ridiculous comparison. I love how many people in these comments seem to think they are so different from others because they like time alone. Newsflash: EVERYONE DOES. Just not for prolonged amounts of time
I definitely like her view on the one skill being adaptability. Looking at today, or at ancient history, that seems pretty evident.
After that, she's basically promoting her mental treatment/development theories about the importance of taking it easy.
jahenders nop
Absolutely awesome!
Bruce Lee has a quot that goes "if you put water in a tea pot the water become a tea pot, if you put water in a cup the water become a cup , be water my friend" this TED talk really help me connect with this quote
Ted talks:" ideas worth sharing" means actually ideas worth selling , everybody is always selling something.
Not always but this talk sucks
Can’t sell if you don’t buy
Well done. I love the talk and it has been helpful. Thank You
Nkechi Ajakor
Fantastic advice to help us better thrive in this times.
Thanks. Beautiful video...
I was listening to this as I fell asleep and thought it was a great speech. I had to shake off my sleepiness when I heard she was giving prescriptions for pot (which really disappointed me). I'm so relieved and amused to find out it wasn't pot...
Pot very funny. d POD thing is very true
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Hahaha me too!
Interesting watching the POD discussion in light of the pandemic lockdowns when we weren't allowed to play, we were kept in isolation from others, and we were bombarded with stressful messaging through the news and social media. Our well being was under attack from all angles. Isn't it clear as day what our governments were doing to us, the people?
yup clear as day..
"We are as humans built and meant to thrive, each one of us can have an awesome life".
Perfect speech
People do wear overwork as a badge of honor
Your comment made me sad :(
I didnt have a full length sleep for >36 hours
Dont worry I slept for 4 hrs in interval though
How else are you supposed to wear that badge?
Workaholics love showing this badge... In the meanwhile these workaholics are bitter, disconnected from others because they feel so superior. It's total denial as they are ineffective & inefficient without soft skills and a sense of humanity. They are completely unaware that they are denying themselves and others the love that makes everything it touches flourish.
That and being busy, how many times you hear I'm so busy... lol, look at me so important and busy.
Just listened to the flow of speech and couldnt realize when it finished..so inspirational...
Powerful!
Thankyou for introducing P O D ..Very Freshing Loved your Speech/presentation..Adapting ASAP
most helpful for my personal Journey to continue in life ones life experience x x x
Christ people are petty. She is a beautiful speaker sharing her knowledge and wisdom. What the hell have the rest of you done lately.
Busy working. Lol