Stop trying so hard. Achieve more by doing less. | Bethany Butzer | TEDxUNYP
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- Опубликовано: 20 фев 2018
- Bethany Butzer, Author, Speaker, Researcher & Lecturer at the University of New York in Prague explains the concept of "down stream effort" and how to live life and achieve goals effectively and efficiently without over exertion. The majority of Bethany’s professional work involves teaching, writing, and doing research in the field of positive psychology, which emphasizes the development of human strength and potential. She received her PhD in psychology from the University of Western Ontario, Canada.
Bethany has worked in the corporate world and in academia, and she has also spent several years as an entrepreneur. From 2013 to 2015 she was a postdoctoral research fellow at Harvard Medical School, where she studied the effects of yoga in school settings.
Bethany currently lives in Prague, where she is teaching an undergraduate positive psychology course at the University of New York in Prague and continuing to study yoga and mindfulness for youth. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
I live in a cabin in the the woods offgrid. Time has slowed down. Definitely downstream. I feel successful. I'm sure people can't see that. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm free. That's success to me.
congratulations! you are living my dream life
Hasu G my dream life as well 😭
A Billie jean still looking for ya !!
Michael Jackson I aspire to live like you do! I’m miserable in the hustle and barely keep a roof over my head. I’m a step from being homeless. This life definitely isn’t what I had hoped! Cudos to you for living the Dream!
K8i
If you want to get something done, you often don't have to push harder. Take a step back and do something else. Then look at it with fresh eyes and it suddenly works. At least that's my experience.
Exactly. Don't underestimate what your brain can do "in the background" when you focus on something else.
Thank you very much from South Korea :)
@@hyeoniekim8927 All good to you from the Netherlands 👍
@@defactotechno9850 Thank you :) All good to you too :)
Worka for me too. I usually take a walk if I stuck in something
"Your success might not look successful to the people around you but it will feel successful to you internally." wow, that is one way to look at life. Amazing.
What if is the other way around?
All the things I do seem nothing to us, feeling like we haven't done anything but to others may see a lot 😓
She was my professor in grad school and I was blessed to work under her guidance. The way she mentored us was amazing and tbh changed my life in a positive way.
thanks for sharing this. it's nice to read good words about her
Wow 👏👏👏😲
The more i stay on the internet the more i realise that the world is small
Her guidance failed you because effort means attempt. Attempt is uncertain to work. Succeed. Opposite of FAIL.
@@colder8741 lol
“Our authentic life choices won’t always be easy, but they will always be worth it because it helps us live with integrity.”
What a powerful statement.
RIGHT, RIGHT!!!!
Living the life that we want for ourselves, regardless of the opinions of others. We have the power to steer our life in any direction we choose.
T89
Basically, don't stop working hard, but direct your efforts to the flow of things. That way, you will be propelled towards success with the inertia of what's already working for you.
And also find out your authentic goals instead of what every around you pursues and make decisions in alignment with it.
🙏🙏💪💪👏👏
@@derck_man.
,l
Tamanna epshammi ep 1 2
What abt school
She basically summarized whole year of therapy sessions in 16:31 minutes. What a brilliant character. Thanks for sharing!
I agree❤
This came at a good time. I’ve burnt out twice in 2022, and I don’t ever wanna do that again. A week of headaches and difficulty experiencing joy and getting rid of anxiety.
So, in a word, we don't feel our efforts as efforts only if we're doing something personally meaningful.
"Stop trying so hard at things that don't matter to you and start trying at things that do."
What if nothing really means anything to you?
Basically, it means stop worrying about the later, and focus on the now without having to worry about anything :D
@@JordyJones I have schizophrenia and I would like to smoke marijuana. Do you know something about marijuana? Can you help me?
@@someonesomeone25 I'm no psychologist but I'll give you my 2 cents.
Either you just haven't found what is meaningful to you, or you have clinical depression and need help.
It's a tough problem. I've been bouncing around similar issues since I was 28ish. I'm 36
Key take away: Define what is your true success work for it. Don't go by the society. And this true success does keep changing with time so be conscious of it and adapt.
This is actually one of the best TED Talks, in my opinion.
I was thinking the same. The insight is very relevant to any normal person who wants fulfillment. If we never took the time to assess the relevance of our choices and efforts to adjust and align with our values then we might find ourselves sooner in burnout.
nah
"Flow State". .... trying without trying is the essence of TAOISM
"Why you no doctor yet???" -Lao Tzo
In short, develop your spiritual quotient. Live the way you want to live....like a child. Most of the times, our efforts are propelled by our desire to achieve what others have achieved. This phenomenon starts in adolescence when our awareness ignites and continues till we suffer severe damages both mental and physical. And by then we have no courage, energy and will power to make the necessary changes. God Bless
Punita Salwan I
Love you
You're so right!
Bless you for this
Upstream effort. Downstream effort. Find what you authentically want, how you want to feel, and what you value. Act on those values and feelings in the real world. Use discernment to evaluate the results of our decisions. Are you experiencing flow? Is synchronicity occurring in your life? Stop trying at things that don't matter to you and start trying at things that do. Wuwei. Great guidance! Thank you.
Authenticity is important
I think it means living like a king even when you're poor.
Billionaires often say "Money doesn't matter"
Models say "Appearance doesn't matter"
Geniuses often say "Grade doesn't matter"
People tend to underestimate things they have and value things they don't. Anyway, she chose fame and approval over well-being and health. If she wasn't academically successful, I wonder if she could still think the same way.
P.S. No offense. I just want to express my thought. Her speech is still amazing in many ways :)
Vietnameseeeeeeeeeeeee ur point is good... but there's some asia cult that far backward and they need to learn from Western :O
Good point. A person values more something that he does not had got until he gets it. Once he get it, it does not have as much value and looks for another motivation. I believe that this pursuit is in the human being and is one of the bases of the evolution of society.
air is the most important thing for us ,but nobody talk about air,because everybody own it
She became like that bcz of who and how she was before
The same idea as you.
Yes, wearing our busyness as a badge of honor while it burns us out and we lack joy & fulfillment in life.
Flow and sychronicity are very zen topics. Achieving flow is as easy as not thinking before acting. Hovering a helicopter, landing a plane, applying the brakes on a car to avoid an accident, shooting a bow. All good examples of zen, of flow. You both act and decide to act at the exact same moment. This was a beautiful talk.
Nothing wrong with quitting Harvard and living in the woods for 2 months then moving to Europe. She was exhibiting classic signs of burnout and that's how she dealt with it. I'm happy she found a new path. No one ever got burned out doing something they absolutely loved.
Don’t work so hard for things that doesn’t matter to you
YES INDEEDY!
I'm quite old now, but will attest to the priciples of this philosophy. When I worked I only 6 hours a day for 4+ days a week. How was this, I didn't waste time driving in grid-lock traffic so I would arrive about 10am, when in the office I would leave about 4pm. However, I worked like a whirlwind for those 6 hours, nothing got in my way, not Lunch or anything. In that time I set my appointments for the week and rarely went to the office until Friday. I generally earnt 2 to 3 times the average, I disposed of my mortgage thirty years ago, I love paying all my bills when or before they're due, so I have zero debt, money in the bank, and really don't give a darn about material things. It's all in the attitude. Do what you have to do, be effective, then spend real time with your loved ones, go out sailing or whatever. Gain Contentment.
"Our authentic life choices, they won't always be easy, but they'll always be worth it because they help us live with integrity" So true, so true, so true.
Valuable speech ! As an example, I was doing my PhD in Nanotechnology (after spending 12 years of university life) when I realized that what I was doing in life was not aligned with my values at all 😱I was at the age of 33 then.. After lots of struggles especially psychologically I quit everything that I had worked for and started a new life from zero. I became both a musician and a healer which both allowed me to go with my own flow of spiritual journey 😊 I feel much more connected to my higher self and I am at peace 🙏
It is beautiful way to say "do what you love and you won't have to try so hard because it will be easy" :) I agree!
I have started to live a downstream life for a while, and then I watched this video.... everything she said is so relatable to me.
I have a huge problem with the "upstream effort". I tend to care too much, work too much and expect too much from myself. I literally got quite hill a couple years ago, and I'll have sequels for the rest of my life. I have "fixed" a lot of psychological problems I've had by studying the right stuff, meditation, self awareness and a healthy lifestyle. Now I'm addressing this. Life Never should feel like a burden. For several reasons I never fully explored what comes easy to me. But it's never too late.
If your life feels like a burden, pause. There is something to consider and the moment is now.
I love this!
I can't tell you how much I feel like this. I am 46, and I have recently arrived at a point where I can't no longer keep climbing the hill. I'm exhausted, I've been climbing upstream for basically 40 years. The past 10 have been more like rock climbing upstream. I so needed to see this talk and read your words. I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to live like this. If I died tomorrow, I would be relieved 😢. I know how sad this sounds but I wouldn't have to do everything I do anymore. I'm exhausted with my job, and if I leave I will have no retirement. But I'm at the point where I may just do that. But then the fear kicks in of seeing my parents live without a good retirement. I do not want to live in poverty, but I'm exhausted. I teach elementary school and this year I have a combination class of 31students by the border of San Diego and Tijuana. The emotional needs of the, the students, the amount of work given by the district is absolutely inhumane. And every year it's something else. I'm beyond exhausted, and you can never catch up. Where else am I going to make what I get paid now? I can't keep living like this. I just don't know what to do. So I sit, breath, catch my breath for a bit and then get up and start rock climbing again upstream!!! 😢
@@quixote4 I'm sorry you're going through that. You said it yourself: you can't keep living like that. Maybe you can reach to a friend, a professional or a family member? Sometimes we don't see our options. If you don't make a different choice, nothing is going to change....
You seem like a very strong person 💪 I'm sure you can figure something out, you deserve it
"Looking at the comments after the talk won't help you" - Lao Tzu
Noooo ,I always do that 😭
Hello! I'm from Azerbaijan.
I wish you all good and well-being. I started learning English. I really want to go to college in Canada. Therefore, I watch these roles, although now I can say I don’t understand anything, but I continue to watch and study in parallel. So I decided to share. Thanks a lot! Peace to your home!
This is so great, I am proud to say that i've been living a downstream life and it feels very successful and i am excited for whatever comes next in my life
I love the way she speaks! So calm, like a flow. Very nice to listen. Totally agree with her ideas!
Probly the best tedx talk I have heard !!!
Amen to that! I've been doing a lot of upstream effort my whole life with all the "shoulds" and "have-tos" . Even after you achieve what you've achieved it leaves you wanting. However I would argue that people are often not in the position for lots of reasons to chose to do what they want to do in life.
I am just trying to apply what I learned from this video to my current difficult situation. Before I got into nursing school, I used to love reading health articles,books, watch health videos, and work out. Now I see it very difficult to study nursing and it's very boring. Teachers are rude and arrogant, this made my learning experience very difficult. About 60% of what we learn in Nursing doesn't apply in the real world. Now I stopped working out as a result of the stress nursing education has caused me. I feel like I am trying hard definitely in the upstream direction. My values didn't change. I still enjoy to read about health however my goal has changed as I don't want to study nursing anymore.
Success to me right now is to be debt free from all the loans I took for university education. I don't care about being rich.I don't care about achieving anything. I believe the real achievement anyone can reach is to free themselves from enslavement. We live in a time where people can't find jobs easily, and if they ever find a job they have to enslave themselves to the job, work long hours, and probably hold two jobs just to pay off bills. I just want to be debt free, and I want to be free from enslavement. Likely I have to enslave myself to a work that I don't like just to pay off my school loans, and this is why I feel forced to continue working upstream to graduate and get a nursing job that pays well just to pay off my school loans. Otherwise I wish I can quit nursing right now and get any job even if it pays less than a nursing job. Going downstream right now is not an option, easy to say than done.
My God, you do need good chunk of rest. You look so tiered from your post, it's like cry from the soul. The mess in your head will set down after you take a rest.
It would be nice to read where you landed with your situation. It seems to me as if continuing with the nursing degree would have further enslaved you if the end goal was simply to make more money to pay off debt then be enslaved to a profession where you've spent tons of time and money to learn that 60% doesn't apply in the real world. Was the time, debt and stress worth the 40% that does?
How did it go for you? Have been in similar situation.
‘“ Authentic life choices will never be easy, but they will always let us live with integrity “❤️
Practice mindfulness, unattachment and emphasizing feeling over doing
Probably the most personally impactful-to-me TED Talk, I've ever listened to. And she was so calm and composed too.
The downstream and upstream effort can be decomposed into two questions:
1. How bad do you want it?
2. How much effort do you have to/are you willing to pay to achieve it?
If both answers turn out negative, then you may be paying upstream effort and need to find what you want the most first.
Those who are struggling for their goal are not discouraged by the speaker from my perspective. At least you have another option: try to live happy with your current situation.
I myself am poor and hopeless in the sense of future success. But I’m happy with a lowered need and more focus on my health and soul. This speech synchronise with what I think really 👍👏👏
廣發君 sums up everything ang gave more perspective. Gee, thanks!
Anyone who struggles to make decisions should watch this !!! Life changing !!
As a person who recently started re-assessing what is really important to me and discovering the deep wisdom of Daoism and the wonderful concept of Wu Wei bei Lao Tzu, you talk really felt like something I needed to hear. Thank you.
Your internal well-being is more important than any external success
I needed this reminder today.
If you love it, hard is not hard. It's easy
Gigi LM i like that ☀️
It's not about love.. it's about realizing your identity and being happy with who you really. Once you realize it the methods of others won't bother you anymore. If hard identifies with you then fine.. we're happy for you...keep it up!
This will not apply for average people who trying very hard to achieve something beacuse of circumstances around them
Well done. Thank you Gigi LM.
Yes absolutely ...true
Love this idea of personal reflection when facing obstacles
By the grace of God I have decided authentic success for me is good health and finding God
"Your success might not look successful to the people around you, but it will feel successful to you internally."
That's it!
The last 30 sec are the conclusion of the whole speech.
You saved my time!
This is the revelation that everyone should discover. This is immense and sooo useful. Thank you.
Bottom line plunge into my heart. "Your Authenticity are more important than any job, any promotion, any salary, any degree or frankly, anyone else's opinion of you." Need to think what is my Authenticity during my daily life.
Surely, It doesn't mean that we don't need to take effort on daily life to wander seeking the other way.
If the authenticity is still hard to find even though we keep thinking of it, we better to just accept the task in the front of us and try to find the better way to do it. Then the door might be opened for us in unexpected way. I have learned that all human lives are matter of time.
This video is sooooo on time! I couldn't agree and appreciate more! Spectacular insight on the whole matter.
It is cute that looking back she’s thinking I wish I’d enjoyed the journey better. The truth is she wouldn’t have got where she is if she’d taken it slow and was super chill.
Completely agree.
True, she wouldn't be invited to talk at TEDx
Liusila true that
There is no answer which everyone will accept readily. There is only the answer that works for you because everyone is different. Individual thinking and individuality matters more.
I couldn't agree more with the original resonace I felt with this, it's not fair to assume this as true. I am lucky to say I was someone who "chilled" through my life and 20's. No degree. All that fun stuff. And I was just invited to speak on how I found my version of success through all my previous experiences. After listening, this presentation is so important. Being able to see these things as choices (what shes presenting about goals) changed my life! I hope you all find that truth in yourselves too ♡
Bethany, thank you so much for doing this TEDx talk, it really helped me understand myself, what I have been going through for so many years (similar to you). Thank you for the lengthy explanation/discussion. More power to you.
Thank you! This is what has been happening to me for the last few years, and I knew it was right. No one could understand, and I couldn't put it into words. I shared this with my family to finally help them "get it".
I quit my management job to go back to school and pursue the science industry to relocate to Germany. I have money investment that is driven by my self worth. Everyone told me, every step of the way, that I was making a mistake. Im pretty decent in the German language, my investments are doing great, I'm presenting at national confrences. Things just kind of fell in place and studying took a priority. This is the necessary upstream! There is a lot of light to this talk.
Great speech. That's why I love the quote by Steve Jobs: "Focus what matters". Achievement is also a never ending process, one achieved another new will born.
I worked at a job that I really liked, but it was also a lot of hard work that drained me after a few years. I made the mistake of staying at that job, which brought me more rewards, but at the expense of completely exhausting myself.
Jan W. Life is like that.
It's not necessary doing less, but expending less effort while doing what you love.
Exactly, I've actually experienced what's described in the video and it felt like I was doing so much more but it felt easier instead of harder, but even better than that, it felt **good**. Effortless effort is absolutely correct, but I would go even further and call it joyful effort
@@MiauFrito Synchronicity
Thank you very much! Now I finally found my compass so that I wouldn't be exhausted and sacrifices my health, which would risk my family to lost me and make them sad. I will remind my self on the real and authentic values while I working harder.
Ни то
We all tried hard in life, from schools, works, to relationships. Don't work hard for the thing that doesn’t matter to us.
This resonates with the metaphysics conception of feeling the flow of life. The life is the path, not a destination!
I like your idea of metaphysics 👍👏
This is the most meaningful and valuable talk I've ever watched.
Thanks.
What I am getting out of this is whatever you are wanting to achieve, be clear on the WHY. Because after you achieve it, the WHY might still not be answered. Hence you feel like you were too busy for nothing. If it is your passion and answers your WHY, then it is not really doing too much. Plus live your WHY, not anyone else's WHY.
Bethany, well done! This is a project I am still working on. I have suffered a lot of harsh conditions because of my decision to study biochemistry, but I have no regrets because the said decision was a true and authentic decision for me, even if everyone else thinks otherwise.
Brilliant. I don't know how many people were present at this talk, but had I been among them that applause would have sounded thunderous.
Thank God for this speech! I always knew I didn't make a mistake not to finish the school I didn't like. I found a field that suits me much better and I am much more happy like this. The challenge is to dismiss all the negative comments coming from those who "just want the best for you". (Oh boy are those comments coming for years! 😆) Even though they really want to help they are not in your shoes so just listen to that inner voice of yours and follow your own path. Only your health depends on it.
This is the most relatable and comprehensive Ted Talk ever 👏🏻👏🏻 She's so down to earth and smart too...
I can definitely identify with the truths shared in this talk, in terms of where I currently am in my life... This speaks deeply to me. Thank you for sharing
Awesome way of putting things into perspective. Heard similar ideas, but this was one of the most clearest and concise. Enjoyed and thank you !
It’s amazing getting into the “flow”, it happens in software development where all of the sudden everything clicks and you can hyper-focus unburdened by anything else around you.
this makes enough sense as one approaches 40yrs
Bethany!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Love this ! I have a great life so far. What is important to you ? Just make the best of life. Enjoy there are always people above us no matter what ! I, am grateful and blessed ! Thank you 🙏🏻❤️
One Of The Best TED Talks Ever
Bethany thank you for the inspiring speech. It came to my life in the best timing. 😊🙌
"I was addicted to achieving success."
*Gives a TEDx talk*
Yeah she's super academic. Identify this .. identify that ... Academic speak. Nothing really new here. Too much reading and not enough reality.
She just put out an idea, a suggestion with the wisdom of her hindsight. Yeah, it's abstract, academic just like those self-help stuff. But I find those like it useful, just like a compass which won't indicate exactly the way to escape but help people navigate
Her current success came with less effort.
I see this Tedx talk as a successful try to contribute. It satisfied my Need for this, for honesty. Do you feel skeptic because you Need more authenticity?
Thank you for spreading this knowledge. I'm enlightened.
In every TED video some people comment- This is the best TED video.
Lol. True
Thank you so much. I need to listen to this everyday.
it feels like a blessing to be hear these thoughts of wisdom. Thank you so much for the speech. It is a life-changing one for so many people. If you feel hard to understand what she says, trust me you need to stop what you doing and really think about your life again.
This lady is amazing. Thanks alot for this beautiful uplifting message. 💕💕
I love her voice! 💞 Such a beautiful message!!! 🙌🏽
Whoa, this is wise beyond. This succinctly hits so many of the pieces I've been struggling with. Thank you.
❤ ik I love when people focus on essential stuff
This is the answer I've been searching during those hardship towards my goals🖤
Thank you so much. You speak to my heart. I'm working things out. I'm not giving up on myself.
I am so happy to see that the speaker in this video quotes one of the TAO's saying.
I took the words of "down stream effort" as going along the law of the universe.
I am a Taoist.
Hard work is very often, if not always, considered by many a price you pay for dignity or decency. Leaders' speeches compel people by reproducing such principle. Values we should start reflecting about.
Thanks, Bethany!
Just a remarkable talk. Clear guideposts and honesty about the fact that this approach to life success is simple but not easy…but the reward of authenticity makes it worth it !
Even her name is marvelous. Its interesting how smart she is. It's Amazing to see someone shine while stepping back. True Bethany, true beauty, true inspiration!
Identify what we value in life
Identify how we want to feel every day (focus on process and remind yourself of your dreams in face of obstacles)
Thank you very much for this eye opening & remarkable messages. I hope you can inspire more people through more videos like this.
Omg, this helped me figuring out my priorities right now! She is so inspiring really!! Many times I find it hard to make myself happy over my family happines or my husband. But this is my life,I make the rules. Hope not loose focus,this time I'm determined!! Thank you
I'm a total overachiever and upstream effort worker and this resonates with me. Although, I have to say I'm not as much of an achiever so as to have gotten a job at Harvard Medical School. As a nurse, I am finding the work to be lots of effort on many levels, spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, sociological, and I have not gotten anywhere. For the past year and a half, since earning my Masters, I've been working on a fiction novel and working part time. So I understand the downstream effort, where I go for a hike, sit down, write the scene and am free, authentic, feel good and have psychological flow. Even if I self-publish my novel on Amazon, nobody ever buys it, maybe some people read it for free, and I continue to write novels until it isn't important to me anymore, that would be more successful to me than when I go into work as a nurse and make a lot of money even working part time but it leaves me stressed. So I have let go of working full time and have my writing part time so it is a good balance. But my children are grown and out of the house so it is just me and my student loans. I get it how people think she sounds kind of like a spoiled brat but she does have some good points and she doesn't dismiss that people need to provide for themselves.
I was wrong. I think this talk offers some thoughts and concepts that can actually be helpful.
Absolutely loved this video. I practice inspired action everyday. Thank you so much for this valuable information Bethany. GOD bless you:)
THANK YOU so much!!! Wonderful speaker, and every word is extremely supportive! Thank YOU!
Fantastic video. . I am very pleased that I found this. Clarity......
One of the best and deep TEDx talk
Her TedX talk is a practical guide to manage professional and personal life,a very feasible strategy to manage stress,to slow down during reach goal,when we realize enjoying journey is equally important as enjoying success.Overall a great lecture to relax mind and lead a healthier life,both professional life and personal life😍😍👍👍👍
Definitely, this one of the greatest talk on goals and achievement. The authentic goals change depending on our current passion in life, My deeper understanding of downstream efforts is to stay aware of what is currently passionate about at the moment and align your goals in an authentic way.
Loved this TED talk, one of the best I've listened to! Thank you
Great! Thanks! I learned from this video that we need to make sure our inner environment should support we do in daily basis
Authenticity is key.