Exactly, #3 or #4 is my reason -- & unlike a Narcissist, I (& others) can be happy single & independent, & not to settle for anyone unless we see them as worthy, or good for us -- Yes, Unlessss, we meet someone that truly makes a good connection with us, etc. It's really hard for a Narcissist to see how we could be content single unless or until we meet someone who is very compatible with us & that we'd prefer being single before we lower our standards or "Downgrade" like a Narcissist does in desperation~ 100% Also, every person was given "Free Will" by the Creator (God) --- they do CHOOSE to be a Narcissist {it's regardless of the circumstances we've been dealt, we can use it to help others or choose to be the Narcissist {selfish, hateful, unforgiving, vengeful, everything belonging to darkness} {it's a Spiritual battle & choice} & Narcissists do ALL that opposes God -- Liars, manipulators, every kind of evil, finding bliss or joy in others' suffering or unhappiness just like Satan, the 1st & Greatest LIAR & 1st Narcissist -- "What does light have in common with darkness?" {Narcissists live in darkness} -- Have nothing to do with them as scripture points out, thereby, you will avoid a lot of harm... they commit every sin under the sun because they choose & belong to the Malevolent one Satan... Cling to God, Jesus, & shine light to expose all that is evil, to bring into the Light things that they {naturally} aim to keep in secret, in darkness -- they have CHOSEN in "Free Will" to follow darkness... As a quote said once, "Evil, you will be destroyed".. {by God in the end} -- they will have a miserable ending, & punishment when they face God... {Only prayers that some will change before that day comes}. So there is simply Nothing "Cool" or rewarding in being a Narcissist, {& we are All given Free Will - it's a Clear Choice}~ 100% ❣✝❣
Better boundaries. They help weed out problematic people. I refused to ruin my life beyond what he did shutting off new people. They don’t deserve to take that from us.
Ps I know the answer! You go with the person you always go back too. That's what they do! Half of a narc is bulls hit! Not if they physically hurt you though. Call the police, not that they will help, they are too busy blaming their ex,s and punishing you for their neglet etc,, Understand why Now? Not all the police by the way.didn't get help from the people that are paid to help bitter! Huge a front you are black!
Cutting them out of your life completely equals peace. Pity their future victims but be victorious & cut all ties to the narcissist. Ignore them when they reach out, don’t play their game.
My husband’s whole family cut me off after I told him I was leaving after 42 years of this abuse. I wasn’t aware he was a narcissist until I found these videos, of course no one believes me when I told them what I was going through 😢 brighter days ahead when this is over.👍👍🙏🙏
Wow...👌🦅 You are a warrior!!!Congratulations as you did almost impossible!!!!Most people choosing to be stuck in theirs relationshits as getting out is a very painful process.But in my opinion staying hurts even more..So...I've chosen to leave,too.I am free and happy again.Can shake your hand sis🤸♀️🤝
@@Anna-eu8px We're in this together. I am so sorry for your pain. I am overwhelmed also and lost all of my family including my adult kids. Always lean on God, He is my strength.
Some of my family has taken his side. Which, lucky for me, I was already long in the process of distancing myself from them also. Toxic has no room in my life anymore.
After 63 years I freed myself from my narcissist family member. I tried a couple of other times over the years but went back due to other family members persuading me. NO MORE 👏🏼 I am now feeling such relief and peace it’s amazing. 😊🦋 Don’t leave it as long as I did!
I'm 56, going through exactly the same thing right now, 19 days in, and an upcoming family party where I risk looking like the bad guy when I slip out the back door if the narcissist shows up.
I have a vulnerable narcissist sister. I went no contact 4 yrs ago and told my family not to mention her to me or I'd go no contact with them too. Life has been amazingly peaceful and I actually have money saved since I'm no longer bailing her out of everything she created. She's tried to contact me and I just completely ignore her. Zero response.
Your story gave me hope to know that I'm doing the right thing too. I highly suspect my brother is a religious a.k.a. holier-than-thou narcissist, on the lower-end spectrum. I went no-contact with him since last year May. Have been reducing contact with my mother too, who is his enabler/flying monkey. While I am midway achieving the ideal debt-free financial life, emotionally-wise, life is truly peaceful without the drama the narcissist created incessantly for attention.
The idea of being physically intimate with anyone now is REPULSIVE to me..Which is sad. But it is also... a protection. God is real. So I turn my sights now more than ever to Him.
After my Narcissist step father discarded my Mother quite cruelly for his secretary, she never had another romantic relationship. She really loved him. She was 50. She Died at 71 with a broken heart. I’m turning 50 next week and not the same circumstances - my Narcissist was a psychopath not a middle mid ranger-but will never date anyone again either.
Yesss.I said this today....and now in hindsight...it feels like he cast a spell on me... when he would be in my ear when we are "intimate "...geesh...I can hear and feel him at any given time....kinda like he's in my soul...and pulling strings...😦😪😔
I swear I just said this TODAY...!!!!! Even when I see his number pop up from call or text..I get this funky ass feeling in my GUT......DEEP DOWN INSIDE....LIKE A SHIFT....A PULL......TRANCE LIKE STATE
I think there is an element of one upmanship when you discover the narc had already lined someone else up - they have to appear happier and more moved on than you, kind of competitively. It’s weird to experience, especially when you have this immense trauma bond. Not easy but the best thing you can ever do is leave. I don’t think it’s unusual for a former narc prisoner to go a bit wild with partying and losing inhibitions for a while.
That happened to me. I left my narc when I discovered he was cheating. However I didn’t love him anymore and hadn’t for a long time, so I was very happy to be rid of him. The Narc started to parade his new love interest around until she left him a few months later because he ‘had a bad temper’ 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh really? You don’t say!! Hahahaha
Channel is becoming even more popular-the number of subscribers increases every time I look at a video. I know I’ve mentioned it on other channels regarding Harry and his wife , as HG’s comments are so right on
@@annd1411 in Australia we're trying to get coercive control legislation passed, and we're on a learning curve about emotionally abusive relationships, and Narcissism. We finally have words for these things and it's liberating, and important for our ability to process everything.
This is so painful I’m walking around and it feels like I have a spear stuck between my ribs. You’ve hit the nail on the head, as painful as it is to listen. It is the correct medicine for me at this moment. You are correct I could not imagine trying to have a relationship with someone right now I have so much healing to do, I’m sure a new supply has been obtained and possibly before I asked him to leave too and this is painful but it is my panacea. The trauma pull of the addiction is so strong. Thank you for your insight it is most helpful. 🙏
Took 2 yrs of back and forth until I learned about Narcissism. And went NC. And started MY spiritual journey. I used the 12 steps of AA. I admitted I am powerless. My life had become unmanageable. 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore us to sanity.
We parted 2 years ago. I quickly became friends with a damaged but very helpful empath who opened my eyes to your kind. After 18 years I had lost myself. After much hard work and assistance from Mr. T, now I can say I am in a healthy relationship with someone. Me!
The thing is once you're at peace and accept things nobody can fuck with you not even the narcissist while he will never be able to fully work on himself i have already moved on you can only pull me in for so long and you'll get the best of me but after that there's no turning back you can beg cry and do everything you want it's not gonna work then i am the one pulling the strings
Yes, this also applies If you have an older sister who Is a malignant Narcissist & finds out you are getting engaged to be married. The first comment out of their mouth may be, " Too bad It won't work out, because you're a Leo & He's a Scorpio & those two Signs don't get along." So far, we are happily married over 34 years. But my point Is, the Narc sees that you are slipping out of their claws & doesn't like It. They know they won't be able to abuse anymore, because you are unavailable to them. I didn't have her stand up as a bridesmaid to my wedding, despite her & my Mom complaining about It to other relatives. Why would you want an enemy in that position? It was bad enough to be pressured Into having her there at all. When our Mom died at 90 almost 9 years ago, I quit talking to her. She called me a year after our Mom passed, I picked up the receiver & hung It back up. Our lives have Improved 1000% since going no contact. I don't even use my real name on any social media, which I rarely use anymore. If she were to find out where I live now, I wouldn't answer the door & If she wouldn't leave, I'd call the police. I've decided long ago that I was done with her In this lifetime & any other.:)
He proudly told me how he enjoyed tormented his ex's new partner. He would wait until she went out with her friends then call him and lie about her cheating. He was fuelled from both sides ruining her further and installing the fear and panic in her now husband.
Wow !!! So exactly accurate. I’ve been divorced from a narcissist for 8 years. I’m lucky to be alive! Also, I’ve since been ensnared by a couple of narcs, one I was dating, another has been an ongoing flirty friendship for the past year. Which, at the moment, I’m getting the cold shoulder after wounding him after not replying to some txt of his because I didn’t appreciate being triangulated and devalued. So, I plan to adhere to a no contact regime form this point forward. I may see him at his workplace where I still need to do business, so hopefully I can maintain control of my emotions and logic. Thank goodness I practice neutrality. This information here on this channel helps me to recognize the different types of narcs so I can stay on the right track to the best of my ability. However, the seduction of the narcissist is at the same time… still hard to resist! Wow !!! What a waltz … the devils dance, between me and my counterpart !!! Either way, now I am able to use non resistance and neutrality with wisdom, when it comes to having the realization that I’m with another narc and how I react to their little reindeer games.
Thank goodness I haven't gotten any problems from the exe while dating. In the beginning I got tons of Hoover's from terrible NC mistakes. I've since stopped dating during pandemic, but haven't heard anything from him. My Goso-NC has been strong. Maybe he considers his absence punishment/control. I'm sure he does. His madness probably tells him that his absence is punishment. Hopefully he's gone for good.
During the love bomb phase with my ex female covert narcissist, she used to tell me all the time “You own me” She was hoping I would reciprocate which would have been music to her ears. Of course, she didn’t have those “feelings” for me but she would relish the thought that I gave her “ownership” of me. Do narcissists have some secret underground school where they get their playbook ?
Don’t forget the narcissist who impregnates you and uses that as a huge manipulation of your emotional thinking because, as an empath, you want nothing more than a “happy family”. It’s counterintuitive though. The protective instinct a mother has for her child will leave her with few options. The most sensible is not to go to jail for the rest of your life and take your child out of the
Questions: What if the new partner is already well known and can't be smeared? What if the new partner is already adept at dealing with narcs and has no fear? Assuming the narc and expartner share a young child (ONLY contact allowed is phone) so the narc will not 'just discard' the ex. What does the narc do then?
This fitsperfectly; I was scared after having atracted these guys and having been destroyed by them. When I JUSt healed, another one came in and WOW what a job this one did. nearly killed me but it lead me to start digging and finding psychologists online to talk to and they all said this is a narcissistic personality type, "Cluster B" so I digged and thanks to my new friends and all Im learning online, I have reported him to the police for all he has doe and applied for a restraining order. Im also healing FAST, however a new relationship is out iof the questio nfor the coming years, Im getting into therapy to break these relationships once and for all while Im still "young and beautiful" so I can attract a NICE and healthy guy.
“Hey kiddies. Remember how dad would flirt with me on social media and during visitation handoffs ... after the flavor of the month would dump him? Remember how that made YOU feel?” Couldn’t care LESS how the Narc feels! More concerned with helping innocents learn to listen to their instincts. Thank you for sharing your insight!
I have so many questions, HG. I just want the emotional thinking to end and get over the anger. Though, I have moved on. I was cheating on him right along with his philandering the whole relationship. Huge narc trait of mine. I can't deal with zero intimacy...
My top favourite moment when divorcing my husband back in 1999 was that he tried to smear the solicitor I used to initially serve the papers. He said the solicitor was rubbish and not doing his job. God know what my ex was trying to achieve. But not wishing to be stuck with bad legal advice, I switched to a better solicitor and divorce was final in 12 months. Ha. That was quite funny, looking back
8:00 & 9:35 My BPD ex with NPD traits never hoovered again. But I'm sure she knows I am in another loving relationship. I know this because she "suddenly" started to get in contact with an ex-friend of mine who I consider to be my "enemy", getting her fuel from him to cope knowing I am happy with someone else. And he gives it to her out of spite of me, despite not giving a rat's a** about her. Not my problem. I'm merely enjoying the fact they are leaving me alone.
Absolutely my kind. That bright light that yours is able to shine. But there are those of us who have experienced it enough that we see through it quickly enough or early that we recognize you before you’re able to do the damage that would be required to actually get us under control. One of my kind that is less prepared, cable/able, or less experienced, hasn’t grown up with or experienced the ultimates ultimate, is more susceptible. You’re grading system for both narcissists and empaths is interesting and well I can’t comment and accurately state whether it’s true or not for the narcissist I can say that I don’t think it fully describes that for the end, I think there’s more to it. As far as your kind and certainly you and I do believe you are who are you recognize yourself to be,an ultimate. I would however expect that you should understand that you don’t know everything nor experience everything that the empath at any level especially as super has experienced especially at the hands of the best really, the worst of your kind and how it changes them and helps them recognize and develop the tools in there tool box to manage, Heal, and sometimes play along just for the fun of it. It’s an intellectual game too for some of us. There is a of course at least a bit of a narcissist in every empath, there has to be. The differences is that we can actually feel and our goals. My goal isn’t to feed, I like to feel, heal, and give. It actually gives me joy. Playing with one of your kind and the intellectual game also gives me joy, there’s a little fun in that and a little satisfaction. I suppose you could say that getting a little of my own back at those times is sort of a fun if dangerous game. Sometimes the higher the stakes…the more fun. Never actually causing another harm but seeing the shock in the response in those moments when one of your kind realizes how what’s actually going on this is like incredible music for me, very satisfying. I don’t mind they put on the shelf for avoided or walked away from those cases. I find out even more, I learn each time in the end it helps me help others. I think it helps me be better and helps me give what I need to get better when I need to recover quickly. I do not delude myself and do not fall into the trap thinking that I will ever know you’re kind as you do. I understand that you observe my kind and you know a great deal from your years of observation and taking in the fuel however you don’t have a lived experience nor have you experienced the recovery process. Nor do you actually feel it and feel what we feel nor how we respond or what it feels like when you do what you do. You feel the fuel that you get but there is still a great more and that falling into that trap of being a little shortsighted perhaps an even better experience of fuel, just a thought. I’m certain that there are those that have honed their skills and abilities as an empath it may be greater than mine and as a narcissist psychopath that may be greater than yours, who knows. Have you considered what it means though and what it does to a person to survive those things over and over perhaps from quite a young age? I’m sure it changed you, haven’t come in contact with those kind over the years and having them in your family both your kind and mine. Did it not mature and alter you? If you recognize that in yourself do you not recognize that that is possible and likely plausible as well and also recognize that by observation and feeding on the fuel alone that you absorb that you don’t perhaps get the entire picture of the empath of any prescribe level? This is not a scolding on my part, just a curious observation and question I guess you could say. I appreciate your observations and willingness to share and I appreciate your honesty about the motives behind your willingness to share. I am not as open as you are nor willing to share in such a public way about my own personal experiences, motives, and may never do so. Even commenting in such a public forum as I have yesterday and today on your videos is quite an anomaly for me. I felt driven to do so as I said, you have inspired me and made me a little more curious and interested in your journey. The intellect, the tone of your voice, and the constant challenge I hear is intriguing and amusing, I cannot deny it. Don’t mistake that I find some of it amusing that I’m laughing at you, you make me chuckle at myself. Some of your observations are spot on some of them are less so. I will honestly admit though I feel no urge empathically or otherwise and no drive or push to heal or fix you in any way because from you I don’t feel a call, question, need, or a request from you for that In your videos. You don’t push out a need or a request for anything, you actually give, knowledge. Delivered in a rather calm though also condescending way. The condescending delivery is amusing. You must recognize that and I’m sure it makes you a little amused when you listen to yourself at times too.
Now that I have knowledge on narcissistic traits I recognize my sister's ex was one. And he had all of the traits no exaggeration. Once I found out how he was treating my sister after 5 years of abuse. When I finally got out of jail I beat homeboy within an inch of his life.
Hg, I understand that the narcissist is like a Heat-Seeking Missile after the prime aims so real freedom from the narcissist is Goso, death of the victim, or death of the narcissist. Once again your insightful information provides useful tactics to the victim.
All they do is go on cycle for ever What a boring life and so much work However when we move on We are happy and love life and life goes on I would never want to go back To someone who treat you like ***** No thank you
He did all that with the people he tought I was gonna be with, joke's on him, I'm single and working on healing so they just laughed as I did. It seems so obvious that it is laughable... no contact, strong boundaries and going withing always works best.
@@jerrybarnes8258 he has given me more than I can measure. He made me feel empowered when I felt lower than dirt. The least I can do is thank him & support his endeavor. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. It’s what we do with them that makes us who we are & makes the world worth living in. ❤️
@@caroliner2029 That's exactly right and the incredible (my miniscule offering!) HG Tudor IS assisting many thousands of people to gain clarity after all. 🙂
I only asked for a year for my RO...wondering if I should expect a hoover when it expires? I dont think so, but....Ill keep him blocked. Saw him driving towards my work the other day....sigh. See, he still has power...watching these to heal then I need to move on.
My ex told everyone he could that I was crazy, then, antifa unwashed violent smelly horde moved into the property next door to him and proceeded to trash the place into and beyond Lord of the Flies. Now he got to see real, live, crazy!
I'm coming out of the emptiness and dissociation after him traumatizing me in every way... 6 mos since the most brutal and cruel treatment I've ever had. I maybe now feeling the hurt but I'm also getting better. I won, how bout that. In my mind. I realize karma will never hit him. Small mind. But I woke up and I do love. He will always be happy in what makes him happy. I'm the one whom is tormented. Demons in my mind that tell me Terrible things about myself. So this abuse is ok in my mind as I know it all too well. All my life locked inside myself. Waiting for my savior. But no one is going to save me, but me. So life changing abuse destroyed me. I was destroyed as a child myself. Love doesn't come easy for me, but I trusted him. As paranoid as I already am. That's great his life is wonderful and he wont ever hurt ns. I did my best and that's all I could do.
Narcississm from a parent is rough. Since Narcississm is a symptom of child abuse and politics are tied to narcissistic personalities, I would say the political solution is child abuse.
I grew up with a narcissistic mother and then were subjected to my stepmother's narcissistic abuse in the school holidays with my father until he caught her out being a total monster to me one day so after that if he had a shearing job to go to and couldn't take me with him,I would be dropped off to stay with my grandmother for the time he was away because she couldn't be trusted alone with me after that. It was extremely traumatizing and I spent my childhood trying to figure out what I had done or said that was so bad,evil and wrong that I was being treated like that.
3 года назад+6
Personally, he was always a side dish. So this doesn't really apply, I wasn't fully involved.
At some point the Narc loses game or should I say prey. They age, they have to use status or money to get the young ones. And frankly, other than instant supply, the Narc wants a big catch with something like status, money, assets - opportunity not companionship.
From listening to your videos and seeing this topic my first response was they dont feel. Im trying so much to get out of my head and feelings about this thing i have been through not once but twice and kept repeating be on and off with both. Trying to make it right and understand.
Never before and never since did I ever cheat on anyone, until I found out the Narcissist I very much loved was involved with two other women. As I was putting it together that he is a Narc, I got involved the last couple months I was with the Narc with a wonderful man and ended up dumping the Narc. Next day I had pics all over Social Media to show off my gorgeous, much younger and handsome new man...while still secretly still very much in love with the Narc. In some ways it was both a reaction to my hurt and also a need to again feel desirable as a woman since the other two he chose over me to dally around with behind my back were so very unattractive.
It’s just as messed up that you used another man. You’re no better than the narcissist. You get with another man all while still loving the narcissist. Very selfish and despicable behavior. You deserve the narcissist and what he did to you
He came to my job! I blocked him, stopped talking to him completely? He shows up at my job. To buy a soda! Almost two towns away! I ignored him and walked away. He comes up to me outside as I am walking back into the store, i ignore. Continues to try and get my attention INSIDE THE STORE. "I AM AT WORK." "No, I just wanna tell you..." "I AM AT WORK." And I walked away. No emotions. No engagement. He got really hostile and nasty with me about two weeks prior, i tried to address it, and it all gets flipped on me. I cannot do this anymore. So i let go.
@@hgtudor-theultra Thats projection though isnt it, helps to alleviate any guilt or feeling of wrong-doing on your part as you let her down. Because youll do this repeatedly for as long as the relationship lasts even if its a lifetime, however faithful they are.
@@thesouluniversal All narcs do feel let down, because they want absolute control and even caring for them feels like control to them, so yes they do feel let down. He's not projecting, he's speaking the truth. They will feel let down by everyone. They also let everyone down because the way they operate isn't the basis on which healthy relations are built.
Don't no one care who he is with He did us a favor. Noone want to be with this evil, cruel, demonic person. Good luck to the narc and all his supplies. HAPPY he is gone. Narc is not normal. Too many problems with this demon.
About my Ex narc brother I figured him out too. He hates his brother. Probably envy. They both compete. But I figured it out they are both narcs. He tries to hang with me to use me to make his brother(my ex) jealous. in his mind he thinks this should be something I should consider. He doesn't out right say it but his mission is to meet up with me, come to my new house, go to eat or club with me, he has even suggested to go out of town with him. He wants me to be intimate with him. all of this to hoover his own brother. This is how much he thinks of me. But he doesn't realize though his brother disrespect me by shoving his new toy just few months after I escaped that I'm not a sloppy person. I dont payback like that. My new truck my new house my new weight and toned and defined body is my pay back. However the ultimate pay back is when I finally land my restaurant this will be when I let his brother come close to me. He is definitely invited to the grand opening. He can take pictures kissing me for all I care. He will then get to hoover his brother which works in my favor in two or three ways. Finally the restaurant that him and I spoke about us his punishment for him offending me by jumping into another relationship and robbing it in my face aswell as providing information to another narc that attacked and smeared me on fb causing me to fall Ill for over a week. I have many enemies that tried to ruin me because I'm not sloppy. I'm goal driven and anyone is just not allowed in my space. People including my ex have attacked me for this and so much they've done to hurt me. His brother actually called me from another phone the other day and I didn't realize. I quickly made up a lie and hung up. Felt it wasn't good enough so I left a text detailing the lie. He replies hours later stating he wanted to check on me and find out about some restaurant in my city... I'm sure he's somewhere waiting for my reply. He wait on the reply until I'm ready to use him. To hell with all these narcs. I dont have to go no contact. I will be contactable by phone ONLY if i choose to speak to any idiot of the day but i will use them and shelve them against one another until I'm satisfied. If his brother comes to my restaurant cause he thinks he got something I'll have a male posing as my man he can watch and get used to that
HG, I am aleays wondering how it is possible that the Narcissist has so many 'opportunities' to have a new intimate partner? It seems like they can have anybody by side..how is that possible? My exnarc is already 53 years old and not very stunning but it seems he always has a new woman...I really don't understand why seemingly everybody wants to be with him
What I want to know is how does the narcissistic manage to stay married to someone? I know a textbook narcissist but he's been married for 20 years. Do a video on that please.
He turned almost everyone against me in this small town...he even got mad when our mutual friend wanted me to paint his house. Got a text from his friend last night telling me to not bother painting his house because he brought it up in front of my ex and he HAD A FIT...and told this friend that he will never talk to him ever again if he talks to me. He wants me totally isolated and alone..plus now hes even affecting my money.
H.G., Is there any of your work that speaks to the forever & possession combination? Given devaluation, I wondered if those were thoughts, behaviors, feelings in the moment - even if in living one moment at a time as a chameleon. As in many one moment at a time(s) linked together. I've heard empaths say, forever is one new now at a time. In youth, I saw it only as forever as a concept only seen in looking back near the end of life. Leaving out expectation, and realising few promises can really be kept, forever seems a hope and or hope. Thank you for all your work. I've had few surprises from you, which is amazing. 🌼 Your ability to articulate, describe, explain verbally are quite outstanding. Your help is unsurpassed, and I would bet extraordinarily rare.
But do they actually think about us or care what we're doing if they've moved on and are now doing all the things with their new partner that they didnt want to do with us? Dont they just forget we ever existed? Do they really come back and try to hoover when theyve "upgraded"?
But if you have a good no contact regime how would the narcissist know you are with someone else? Unless of course you bump into them in public. I suppose if you have mutual friends it would happen but luckily for me the narcissists I've been with didn't have mutual friends with me.
HG what’s the reaction to a victim becoming the best version of themselves like getting in the best shape of their life, or making more money, better looking significant other, etc when you know a hoover would never work because of no contact. Wounded?
@@tamarapalmer6009 That's right and it's incredibly freeing to get to the stage where it doesn't matter what they think, or whatever, anyway! Mind you, I experienced a lot of pain and crying to get there, BUT I got through it. ❤
Whatever he mentioned or said I did it towards how I feel was correct..I am disengage from do to me ending this because I didn't get what I wanted..Which was intimacy but she made it seem she was doing me a favor..And agreed to leave me alone..Of course she has a new supply that she is hiding..She cried and blah blah..And fed me nonsense about not being ready for that right now..It's been a week no contact..But the first narc I dealt with did everything you mentioned when she seen with someone else..She tried to control me stalking me..Angry at the girl for no reason..She literally call another girl ugly saying I deserve better..The only girl she liked and didn't bad mouth was you guessed it..Was the narc I was just talking about in this comment that I am no contact with for a week..She actually left me alone encouraged us to do things..It was weird at first..But now I know why she notice how she was treating me..And was enjoying it so would come around to get info..I am tired of toxicity..I just want someone normal
How to get away and hide? Shelers aren't the answer as they are temporary and often have rules that make it very hard to get on your feet... How to stay away and out of their reach?
Why get married so quickly never mind move on? We last spoke in February and he was saying he loved and missed me and then married in March. WHY? HG Tudor - You had mentioned could have been a change in supply matrix..... Could it be because she and I found out about each other and one was not going to stick around reducing his supply? He was on the spot and losing his mind, almost made me lose mine with his back and forth. I live in another state. He moved back to his home town after he lost his job.
I understand your perplexity and frustration Ann. Have you seen HG's video 'why did her marry her but not me?' It really unravels the mystery behind Narcissist decision making.
People should stop saying " My narcissist" or "Mines" when referring to them because narcissist are essentially an entity meaning they are unconsciously possessed by a demonic, "evil" "dark" spirit sent to destroy us. It's basically like saying "My demon " or "My devil ". U claim that evil as your own by saying "My" which invites that devil back in...because thought are things...& what u claim in this universe as yours WILL find you eventually!..good or bad! Better start claiming stuff on Jesus name and leave claiming these narcissist alone! Food for thought
You might like to find out what "in Jesus' name" actually means, and how this expression came about. Read the scholarly book, Jesus the Magician, by Morton Smith. Another interesting investigation on this subject is Who Wrote the New Testament? - The Development of the Christian Myth, by Burton L. Mack.
Recent example was the learning Johnny Depp began an intimate relationship with Winona R., *very soon after her neighbor, Jennifer Grey broke up with him. It was a note she left after Johnny vanished again, regardless of work or fury/hurt/etc. The flaunting was very much in her (Jennifer's) face. Fortunately for Jennifer, Johnny was an admitted rebound who treated her much better than her recent ex, Matthew Broderick and she recovered fairly fast. Although Johnny is not a Narcissist, these choices do seem to exhibit Narcissistic behaviors.
Also remember, the narcissist will check your You Tube account and see that you are watching videos about how to deal with, leave, divorce, go no contact with said narcissist. HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Escape is revenge in itself from a narcissist .....
I dont care how they feel. I am at peace and content and that is all I can focus on.
Facts
Yes it’s liberating to leave them behind and regain some self respect.
Exactly, #3 or #4 is my reason -- & unlike a Narcissist, I (& others) can be happy single & independent, & not to settle for anyone unless we see them as worthy, or good for us -- Yes, Unlessss, we meet someone that truly makes a good connection with us, etc. It's really hard for a Narcissist to see how we could be content single unless or until we meet someone who is very compatible with us & that we'd prefer being single before we lower our standards or "Downgrade" like a Narcissist does in desperation~ 100%
Also, every person was given "Free Will" by the Creator (God) --- they do CHOOSE to be a Narcissist {it's regardless of the circumstances we've been dealt, we can use it to help others or choose to be the Narcissist {selfish, hateful, unforgiving, vengeful, everything belonging to darkness} {it's a Spiritual battle & choice} & Narcissists do ALL that opposes God -- Liars, manipulators, every kind of evil, finding bliss or joy in others' suffering or unhappiness just like Satan, the 1st & Greatest LIAR & 1st Narcissist --
"What does light have in common with darkness?" {Narcissists live in darkness} -- Have nothing to do with them as scripture points out, thereby, you will avoid a lot of harm... they commit every sin under the sun because they choose & belong to the Malevolent one Satan... Cling to God, Jesus, & shine light to expose all that is evil, to bring into the Light things that they {naturally} aim to keep in secret, in darkness -- they have CHOSEN in "Free Will" to follow darkness...
As a quote said once, "Evil, you will be destroyed".. {by God in the end} -- they will have a miserable ending, & punishment when they face God... {Only prayers that some will change before that day comes}. So there is simply Nothing "Cool" or rewarding in being a Narcissist, {& we are All given Free Will - it's a Clear Choice}~ 100% ❣✝❣
@@tracieratliff2672 YAHsome!
After being in a relationship with a narcissist, it will be hard to ever trust again,
A really, really good thing. Wiser, wary, more aware, sceptical, and with better boundaries. God bless us all.
Try never trust again.
Better boundaries. They help weed out problematic people. I refused to ruin my life beyond what he did shutting off new people. They don’t deserve to take that from us.
Hmm. I don't trust anyone, the only person you are hurting is yourself. Myself . What do you do with that!?
Ps I know the answer! You go with the person you always go back too. That's what they do! Half of a narc is bulls hit! Not if they physically hurt you though. Call the police, not that they will help, they are too busy blaming their ex,s and punishing you for their neglet etc,, Understand why Now? Not all the police by the way.didn't get help from the people that are paid to help bitter! Huge a front you are black!
Getting rid of a Narcissist is like passing a kidney stone.....ya can't wait for it to be over and you never want to go thru it again....
My narcissist left 50 days ago and got married two weeks ago! Hallelujah!!!! I am Free!!!
Lol. Damn
You just won the lottery
😳😳😳
Pray for her 😔
Congrats! But I feel for the new wife. 😕
No contact solves a lot of these problems
No, I respectfully disagree... no contact solves all the problems.
@@jeanettecook1088 What kind of an “agreeing” disagreement is that? 😂
Cutting them out of your life completely equals peace. Pity their future victims but be victorious & cut all ties to the narcissist. Ignore them when they reach out, don’t play their game.
I had a pretend funeral for the narcissist and no one showed up at the wake! 😂 lol
🤣
Lol
@@embo_5787 My thought, too!
😆😆😆
😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
My husband’s whole family cut me off after I told him I was leaving after 42 years of this abuse. I wasn’t aware he was a narcissist until I found these videos, of course no one believes me when I told them what I was going through 😢 brighter days ahead when this is over.👍👍🙏🙏
Wow...👌🦅
You are a warrior!!!Congratulations as you did almost impossible!!!!Most people choosing to be stuck in theirs relationshits as getting out is a very painful process.But in my opinion staying hurts even more..So...I've chosen to leave,too.I am free and happy again.Can shake your hand sis🤸♀️🤝
@@Anna-eu8px We're in this together. I am so sorry for your pain. I am overwhelmed also and lost all of my family including my adult kids. Always lean on God, He is my strength.
The same by me. The just cut me and my children up. But my life is so much better without them.
26 years ago I lost friends and family but thanks be to God, I am free. I wish I had known about narcissism earlier. Turns out dad was one, too.
I’m at 26 years from the baby trap… about 2 years into figuring out the playbook
My entire family saw it play out. It was a horrible experience.
Hi. Please elaborate
Some of my family has taken his side. Which, lucky for me, I was already long in the process of distancing myself from them also. Toxic has no room in my life anymore.
After 63 years I freed myself from my narcissist family member. I tried a couple of other times over the years but went back due to other family members persuading me. NO MORE 👏🏼 I am now feeling such relief and peace it’s amazing. 😊🦋 Don’t leave it as long as I did!
I was 42. I know it's not easy. Sending love and light
I'm 56, going through exactly the same thing right now, 19 days in, and an upcoming family party where I risk looking like the bad guy when I slip out the back door if the narcissist shows up.
I have a vulnerable narcissist sister. I went no contact 4 yrs ago and told my family not to mention her to me or I'd go no contact with them too. Life has been amazingly peaceful and I actually have money saved since I'm no longer bailing her out of everything she created. She's tried to contact me and I just completely ignore her. Zero response.
Your story gave me hope to know that I'm doing the right thing too. I highly suspect my brother is a religious a.k.a. holier-than-thou narcissist, on the lower-end spectrum. I went no-contact with him since last year May. Have been reducing contact with my mother too, who is his enabler/flying monkey. While I am midway achieving the ideal debt-free financial life, emotionally-wise, life is truly peaceful without the drama the narcissist created incessantly for attention.
Great for you!. You are not alone.
stay healthy!
I'm so sorry. That must be difficult but it's the right choice.
Well done😊
I was with a narcissist for two years, which ended in 2014. I haven't been able to date anyone seriously since then.
To ensure that my new relationship had a chance to survive, Goodbye New York!!!!
I'm sorry. You are not alone.
😳😳😳😲😲
The idea of being physically intimate with anyone now is REPULSIVE to me..Which is sad. But it is also... a protection. God is real. So I turn my sights now more than ever to Him.
After my Narcissist step father discarded my Mother quite cruelly for his secretary, she never had another romantic relationship. She really loved him. She was 50. She Died at 71 with a broken heart. I’m turning 50 next week and not the same circumstances - my Narcissist was a psychopath not a middle mid ranger-but will never date anyone again either.
Straight out of the mouth of a Narcissist. H G Tudor speaks, we listen and take notes.
Black is beautiful. So color me black.
Aye! 💃🏾
You have a lovely smile. Very photogenic.
Why always about race???
My melanin is popping
It's almost like these demons have cast a spell on their supply....smh
So true
Yesss.I said this today....and now in hindsight...it feels like he cast a spell on me... when he would be in my ear when we are "intimate "...geesh...I can hear and feel him at any given time....kinda like he's in my soul...and pulling strings...😦😪😔
I swear I just said this TODAY...!!!!! Even when I see his number pop up from call or text..I get this funky ass feeling in my GUT......DEEP DOWN INSIDE....LIKE A SHIFT....A PULL......TRANCE LIKE STATE
"To charm is a verb"
A charm used to mean spell or magical object in English. Charm is a red flag 🚩
They do. Its the spirit of Jezebel
I think there is an element of one upmanship when you discover the narc had already lined someone else up - they have to appear happier and more moved on than you, kind of competitively. It’s weird to experience, especially when you have this immense trauma bond. Not easy but the best thing you can ever do is leave.
I don’t think it’s unusual for a former narc prisoner to go a bit wild with partying and losing inhibitions for a while.
That happened to me. I left my narc when I discovered he was cheating. However I didn’t love him anymore and hadn’t for a long time, so I was very happy to be rid of him. The Narc started to parade his new love interest around until she left him a few months later because he ‘had a bad temper’ 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh really? You don’t say!! Hahahaha
I hate people that take advantage of people simply because they feel they can. It's all fun and games until they run into someone like myself
Channel is becoming even more popular-the number of subscribers increases every time I look at a video. I know I’ve mentioned it on other channels regarding Harry and his wife , as HG’s comments are so right on
Thank you.
Why are so many talking about this now? Is it like a business or are people becoming more aware or speaking out?
Harry’s current wife. 😂
@@annd1411 in Australia we're trying to get coercive control legislation passed, and we're on a learning curve about emotionally abusive relationships, and Narcissism.
We finally have words for these things and it's liberating, and important for our ability to process everything.
I left my mark on a Billy Joel video
I beat narcissist and bullies up. I've always been that person that sticks up for the weak.
Virtuous 😂
I am and I have Always...🤣
👍👏👏👏🇬🇧👌
Good for you.
I am just enjoying my freedom….. going Solo….. it’s wonderful……freeeeee indeed
Tudor thankyou for your service to mankind despite your selfish motives.
Ahahaha, a good one!
I’m sure you feel like you repeat yourself. I thank you honestly. This has been an eye opener..
This is so painful I’m walking around and it feels like I have a spear stuck between my ribs. You’ve hit the nail on the head, as painful as it is to listen. It is the correct medicine for me at this moment. You are correct I could not imagine trying to have a relationship with someone right now I have so much healing to do, I’m sure a new supply has been obtained and possibly before I asked him to leave too and this is painful but it is my panacea. The trauma pull of the addiction is so strong. Thank you for your insight it is most helpful. 🙏
Took 2 yrs of back and forth until I learned about Narcissism. And went NC. And started MY spiritual journey. I used the 12 steps of AA. I admitted I am powerless. My life had become unmanageable. 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore us to sanity.
We parted 2 years ago. I quickly became friends with a damaged but very helpful empath who opened my eyes to your kind. After 18 years I had lost myself. After much hard work and assistance from Mr. T, now I can say I am in a healthy relationship with someone. Me!
Thank you, HG, for all your work.
lol, so true. i am a loving person but I have not entered into a new relationship since I escaped in 2014. the thought creeps me out.
It does not get better than HG Tudor..
The thing is once you're at peace and accept things nobody can fuck with you not even the narcissist while he will never be able to fully work on himself i have already moved on you can only pull me in for so long and you'll get the best of me but after that there's no turning back you can beg cry and do everything you want it's not gonna work then i am the one pulling the strings
Yes, this also applies If you have an older sister who Is a malignant Narcissist & finds out you are getting engaged to be married. The first comment out of their mouth may be, " Too bad It won't work out, because you're a Leo & He's a Scorpio & those two Signs don't get along." So far, we are happily married over 34 years. But my point Is, the Narc sees that you are slipping out of their claws & doesn't like It. They know they won't be able to abuse anymore, because you are unavailable to them. I didn't have her stand up as a bridesmaid to my wedding, despite her & my Mom complaining about It to other relatives. Why would you want an enemy in that position? It was bad enough to be pressured Into having her there at all. When our Mom died at 90 almost 9 years ago, I quit talking to her. She called me a year after our Mom passed, I picked up the receiver & hung It back up. Our lives have Improved 1000% since going no contact. I don't even use my real name on any social media, which I rarely use anymore. If she were to find out where I live now, I wouldn't answer the door & If she wouldn't leave, I'd call the police. I've decided long ago that I was done with her In this lifetime & any other.:)
He proudly told me how he enjoyed tormented his ex's new partner. He would wait until she went out with her friends then call him and lie about her cheating. He was fuelled from both sides ruining her further and installing the fear and panic in her now husband.
I have told her what she was dealing with so that they can both move on in peace.
Wow !!!
So exactly accurate.
I’ve been divorced from a narcissist for 8 years. I’m lucky to be alive!
Also, I’ve since been ensnared by a couple of narcs, one I was dating, another has been an ongoing flirty friendship for the past year. Which, at the moment, I’m getting the cold shoulder after wounding him after not replying to some txt of his because I didn’t appreciate being triangulated and devalued.
So, I plan to adhere to a no contact regime form this point forward.
I may see him at his workplace where I still need to do business, so hopefully I can maintain control of my emotions and logic. Thank goodness I practice neutrality.
This information here on this channel helps me to recognize the different types of narcs so I can stay on the right track to the best of my ability.
However, the seduction of the narcissist is at the same time… still hard to resist! Wow !!!
What a waltz … the devils dance, between me and my counterpart !!!
Either way, now I am able to use non resistance and neutrality with wisdom, when it comes to having the realization that I’m with another narc and how I react to their little reindeer games.
Thank goodness I haven't gotten any problems from the exe while dating. In the beginning I got tons of Hoover's from terrible NC mistakes.
I've since stopped dating during pandemic, but haven't heard anything from him.
My Goso-NC has been strong.
Maybe he considers his absence punishment/control. I'm sure he does. His madness probably tells him that his absence is punishment.
Hopefully he's gone for good.
During the love bomb phase with my ex female covert narcissist, she used to tell me all the time “You own me” She was hoping I would reciprocate which would have been music to her ears. Of course, she didn’t have those “feelings” for me but she would relish the thought that I gave her “ownership” of me.
Do narcissists have some secret underground school where they get their playbook ?
These ppl are ticking time bombs 💣
I’ve been saying this for years. It’s very sad a lot of them don’t realize.
Don’t forget the narcissist who impregnates you and uses that as a huge manipulation of your emotional thinking because, as an empath, you want nothing more than a “happy family”. It’s counterintuitive though. The protective instinct a mother has for her child will leave her with few options. The most sensible is not to go to jail for the rest of your life and take your child out of the
Questions: What if the new partner is already well known and can't be smeared? What if the new partner is already adept at dealing with narcs and has no fear? Assuming the narc and expartner share a young child (ONLY contact allowed is phone) so the narc will not 'just discard' the ex. What does the narc do then?
This fitsperfectly; I was scared after having atracted these guys and having been destroyed by them. When I JUSt healed, another one came in and WOW what a job this one did. nearly killed me but it lead me to start digging and finding psychologists online to talk to and they all said this is a narcissistic personality type, "Cluster B" so I digged and thanks to my new friends and all Im learning online, I have reported him to the police for all he has doe and applied for a restraining order. Im also healing FAST, however a new relationship is out iof the questio nfor the coming years, Im getting into therapy to break these relationships once and for all while Im still "young and beautiful" so I can attract a NICE and healthy guy.
I'm right there with you. Stay strong 💪
Yup - I’m 4mins 44 secs in and you are spot on HG 👍🏼👍🏼
“Hey kiddies. Remember how dad would flirt with me on social media and during visitation handoffs ... after the flavor of the month would dump him? Remember how that made YOU feel?”
Couldn’t care LESS how the Narc feels! More concerned with helping innocents learn to listen to their instincts.
Thank you for sharing your insight!
I have so many questions, HG. I just want the emotional thinking to end and get over the anger. Though, I have moved on. I was cheating on him right along with his philandering the whole relationship. Huge narc trait of mine. I can't deal with zero intimacy...
This description was PERFECT. WOW just wow.
My top favourite moment when divorcing my husband back in 1999 was that he tried to smear the solicitor I used to initially serve the papers. He said the solicitor was rubbish and not doing his job. God know what my ex was trying to achieve. But not wishing to be stuck with bad legal advice, I switched to a better solicitor and divorce was final in 12 months. Ha. That was quite funny, looking back
8:00 & 9:35 My BPD ex with NPD traits never hoovered again. But I'm sure she knows I am in another loving relationship. I know this because she "suddenly" started to get in contact with an ex-friend of mine who I consider to be my "enemy", getting her fuel from him to cope knowing I am happy with someone else. And he gives it to her out of spite of me, despite not giving a rat's a** about her. Not my problem. I'm merely enjoying the fact they are leaving me alone.
Indirect Hoover
Belong to us forever...
These words now annoy me. I reject them
Can you do a video on being a sibling
to a narcissist?
They’re not that easy to escape from.
I did...just go no contact!
@@annekerotterdam7499 Do you have nieces or nephews?
YES!! I miss my niece and nephew, but I couldn't take it anymore.
I did! She's been dead to me for 2 yrs now. She tried to get me to commit suicide tho. Sick demented reprobate she is.
@@Eff_It yes. I come from a big family.
Thank God I know today. I’m so grateful for my soul. It’s a precious gift. And I guard it.
God you are good. You hit the nail on the head every damn time. 😅
Absolutely my kind. That bright light that yours is able to shine. But there are those of us who have experienced it enough that we see through it quickly enough or early that we recognize you before you’re able to do the damage that would be required to actually get us under control. One of my kind that is less prepared, cable/able, or less experienced, hasn’t grown up with or experienced the ultimates ultimate, is more susceptible. You’re grading system for both narcissists and empaths is interesting and well I can’t comment and accurately state whether it’s true or not for the narcissist I can say that I don’t think it fully describes that for the end, I think there’s more to it. As far as your kind and certainly you and I do believe you are who are you recognize yourself to be,an ultimate. I would however expect that you should understand that you don’t know everything nor experience everything that the empath at any level especially as super has experienced especially at the hands of the best really, the worst of your kind and how it changes them and helps them recognize and develop the tools in there tool box to manage, Heal, and sometimes play along just for the fun of it. It’s an intellectual game too for some of us. There is a of course at least a bit of a narcissist in every empath, there has to be. The differences is that we can actually feel and our goals. My goal isn’t to feed, I like to feel, heal, and give. It actually gives me joy. Playing with one of your kind and the intellectual game also gives me joy, there’s a little fun in that and a little satisfaction. I suppose you could say that getting a little of my own back at those times is sort of a fun if dangerous game. Sometimes the higher the stakes…the more fun. Never actually causing another harm but seeing the shock in the response in those moments when one of your kind realizes how what’s actually going on this is like incredible music for me, very satisfying. I don’t mind they put on the shelf for avoided or walked away from those cases. I find out even more, I learn each time in the end it helps me help others. I think it helps me be better and helps me give what I need to get better when I need to recover quickly. I do not delude myself and do not fall into the trap thinking that I will ever know you’re kind as you do. I understand that you observe my kind and you know a great deal from your years of observation and taking in the fuel however you don’t have a lived experience nor have you experienced the recovery process. Nor do you actually feel it and feel what we feel nor how we respond or what it feels like when you do what you do. You feel the fuel that you get but there is still a great more and that falling into that trap of being a little shortsighted perhaps an even better experience of fuel, just a thought. I’m certain that there are those that have honed their skills and abilities as an empath it may be greater than mine and as a narcissist psychopath that may be greater than yours, who knows. Have you considered what it means though and what it does to a person to survive those things over and over perhaps from quite a young age? I’m sure it changed you, haven’t come in contact with those kind over the years and having them in your family both your kind and mine. Did it not mature and alter you? If you recognize that in yourself do you not recognize that that is possible and likely plausible as well and also recognize that by observation and feeding on the fuel alone that you absorb that you don’t perhaps get the entire picture of the empath of any prescribe level? This is not a scolding on my part, just a curious observation and question I guess you could say. I appreciate your observations and willingness to share and I appreciate your honesty about the motives behind your willingness to share. I am not as open as you are nor willing to share in such a public way about my own personal experiences, motives, and may never do so. Even commenting in such a public forum as I have yesterday and today on your videos is quite an anomaly for me. I felt driven to do so as I said, you have inspired me and made me a little more curious and interested in your journey. The intellect, the tone of your voice, and the constant challenge I hear is intriguing and amusing, I cannot deny it. Don’t mistake that I find some of it amusing that I’m laughing at you, you make me chuckle at myself. Some of your observations are spot on some of them are less so. I will honestly admit though I feel no urge empathically or otherwise and no drive or push to heal or fix you in any way because from you I don’t feel a call, question, need, or a request from you for that In your videos. You don’t push out a need or a request for anything, you actually give, knowledge. Delivered in a rather calm though also condescending way. The condescending delivery is amusing. You must recognize that and I’m sure it makes you a little amused when you listen to yourself at times too.
Good to know for the future…..awesome as always HG …..l will always be in your debt….❤
Now that I have knowledge on narcissistic traits I recognize my sister's ex was one. And he had all of the traits no exaggeration. Once I found out how he was treating my sister after 5 years of abuse. When I finally got out of jail I beat homeboy within an inch of his life.
I've got 2 brothers, I Wish my brothers cared about me enough to protect me/help me at times 😢🌼
@@mummylove5081 there is someone that loves and cares for you deeply
@@jerrybarnes8258 i have twins sons they are 16 I no they do thankyou lovely thing to say ☺
❤
Ive missed real men. What a lovely thing to read!
I recently heard narc abuse is testing if you are still a good source as opposed to the caregiver who didn't meet tthe narcs needs.
Mostly Mother issues
Yup diaperboys till they die. Boring.
Hg, I understand that the narcissist is like a Heat-Seeking Missile after the prime aims so real freedom from the narcissist is Goso, death of the victim, or death of the narcissist. Once again your insightful information provides useful tactics to the victim.
All they do is go on cycle for ever
What a boring life and so much work
However when we move on
We are happy and love life and life goes on
I would never want to go back
To someone who treat you like *****
No thank you
He did all that with the people he tought I was gonna be with, joke's on him, I'm single and working on healing so they just laughed as I did. It seems so obvious that it is laughable... no contact, strong boundaries and going withing always works best.
Just stopping by to show love to the Ultra. Hope all is well HG! 🌹😎
All is tickety boo.
You do know that this is giving him fuel right?🤔
@@jerrybarnes8258 it's only a miniscule amount. HG has an IPPS and a huge fuel matrix IRL.
@@jerrybarnes8258 he has given me more than I can measure. He made me feel empowered when I felt lower than dirt. The least I can do is thank him & support his endeavor. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. It’s what we do with them that makes us who we are & makes the world worth living in. ❤️
@@caroliner2029 That's exactly right and the incredible (my miniscule offering!) HG Tudor IS assisting many thousands of people to gain clarity after all. 🙂
This stuff right here is why you should get a police report and PPO if the narcissist ever comes around you and your new person in your life.
I seriously! Love your straight forward ness! Your brilliant! But you know that! Giggle
I only asked for a year for my RO...wondering if I should expect a hoover when it expires? I dont think so, but....Ill keep him blocked. Saw him driving towards my work the other day....sigh. See, he still has power...watching these to heal then I need to move on.
My ex told everyone he could that I was crazy, then, antifa unwashed violent smelly horde moved into the property next door to him and proceeded to trash the place into and beyond Lord of the Flies. Now he got to see real, live, crazy!
I'm coming out of the emptiness and dissociation after him traumatizing me in every way... 6 mos since the most brutal and cruel treatment I've ever had. I maybe now feeling the hurt but I'm also getting better. I won, how bout that. In my mind. I realize karma will never hit him. Small mind. But I woke up and I do love. He will always be happy in what makes him happy. I'm the one whom is tormented. Demons in my mind that tell me Terrible things about myself. So this abuse is ok in my mind as I know it all too well. All my life locked inside myself. Waiting for my savior. But no one is going to save me, but me. So life changing abuse destroyed me. I was destroyed as a child myself. Love doesn't come easy for me, but I trusted him. As paranoid as I already am. That's great his life is wonderful and he wont ever hurt ns. I did my best and that's all I could do.
Narcississm from a parent is rough. Since Narcississm is a symptom of child abuse and politics are tied to narcissistic personalities, I would say the political solution is child abuse.
I grew up with a narcissistic mother and then were subjected to my stepmother's narcissistic abuse in the school holidays with my father until he caught her out being a total monster to me one day so after that if he had a shearing job to go to and couldn't take me with him,I would be dropped off to stay with my grandmother for the time he was away because she couldn't be trusted alone with me after that.
It was extremely traumatizing and I spent my childhood trying to figure out what I had done or said that was so bad,evil and wrong that I was being treated like that.
Personally, he was always a side dish. So this doesn't really apply, I wasn't fully involved.
At some point the Narc loses game or should I say prey. They age, they have to use status or money to get the young ones. And frankly, other than instant supply, the Narc wants a big catch with something like status, money, assets - opportunity not companionship.
From listening to your videos and seeing this topic my first response was they dont feel.
Im trying so much to get out of my head and feelings about this thing i have been through not once but twice and kept repeating be on and off with both. Trying to make it right and understand.
Never before and never since did I ever cheat on anyone, until I found out the Narcissist I very much loved was involved with two other women. As I was putting it together that he is a Narc, I got involved the last couple months I was with the Narc with a wonderful man and ended up dumping the Narc. Next day I had pics all over Social Media to show off my gorgeous, much younger and handsome new man...while still secretly still very much in love with the Narc. In some ways it was both a reaction to my hurt and also a need to again feel desirable as a woman since the other two he chose over me to dally around with behind my back were so very unattractive.
You sound like a narcissist yourself.
It’s just as messed up that you used another man. You’re no better than the narcissist. You get with another man all while still loving the narcissist. Very selfish and despicable behavior. You deserve the narcissist and what he did to you
Completely resonating with me!
He came to my job! I blocked him, stopped talking to him completely? He shows up at my job. To buy a soda! Almost two towns away! I ignored him and walked away. He comes up to me outside as I am walking back into the store, i ignore. Continues to try and get my attention INSIDE THE STORE. "I AM AT WORK." "No, I just wanna tell you..." "I AM AT WORK." And I walked away. No emotions. No engagement. He got really hostile and nasty with me about two weeks prior, i tried to address it, and it all gets flipped on me. I cannot do this anymore. So i let go.
Why can’t you guys leave us alone and be content with your new appliance who is now your wife. Oh where were you 20 years ago HG 😩
Because the new appliance will let us down which brings you back into the game. 20 years ago? Just learning about my label for what I am.
@@hgtudor-theultra ugh... Well, Better late than never. I’m grateful you know who you are now and willing to teach us what you know.
@@hgtudor-theultra Thats projection though isnt it, helps to alleviate any guilt or feeling of wrong-doing on your part as you let her down. Because youll do this repeatedly for as long as the relationship lasts even if its a lifetime, however faithful they are.
@@thesouluniversal All narcs do feel let down, because they want absolute control and even caring for them feels like control to them, so yes they do feel let down. He's not projecting, he's speaking the truth. They will feel let down by everyone. They also let everyone down because the way they operate isn't the basis on which healthy relations are built.
You should open a channel of audiobooks. Your voice is good to tell a story 😆
Don't no one care who he is with
He did us a favor. Noone want to be with this evil, cruel, demonic person. Good luck to the narc and all his supplies. HAPPY he is gone. Narc is not normal. Too many problems with this demon.
i always think ohh if only she knew 😪
Smearing causes me to dismiss rumors all together.
In order to come to my own conclusion.
Often regrettably.
About my Ex narc brother I figured him out too. He hates his brother. Probably envy. They both compete. But I figured it out they are both narcs. He tries to hang with me to use me to make his brother(my ex) jealous. in his mind he thinks this should be something I should consider. He doesn't out right say it but his mission is to meet up with me, come to my new house, go to eat or club with me, he has even suggested to go out of town with him. He wants me to be intimate with him. all of this to hoover his own brother. This is how much he thinks of me. But he doesn't realize though his brother disrespect me by shoving his new toy just few months after I escaped that I'm not a sloppy person. I dont payback like that. My new truck my new house my new weight and toned and defined body is my pay back. However the ultimate pay back is when I finally land my restaurant this will be when I let his brother come close to me. He is definitely invited to the grand opening. He can take pictures kissing me for all I care. He will then get to hoover his brother which works in my favor in two or three ways. Finally the restaurant that him and I spoke about us his punishment for him offending me by jumping into another relationship and robbing it in my face aswell as providing information to another narc that attacked and smeared me on fb causing me to fall Ill for over a week. I have many enemies that tried to ruin me because I'm not sloppy. I'm goal driven and anyone is just not allowed in my space. People including my ex have attacked me for this and so much they've done to hurt me. His brother actually called me from another phone the other day and I didn't realize. I quickly made up a lie and hung up. Felt it wasn't good enough so I left a text detailing the lie. He replies hours later stating he wanted to check on me and find out about some restaurant in my city... I'm sure he's somewhere waiting for my reply. He wait on the reply until I'm ready to use him. To hell with all these narcs. I dont have to go no contact. I will be contactable by phone ONLY if i choose to speak to any idiot of the day but i will use them and shelve them against one another until I'm satisfied. If his brother comes to my restaurant cause he thinks he got something I'll have a male posing as my man he can watch and get used to that
Q: How does the narc feel after....?
A: I don't care how the narc feels.
I needed a laugh and HG you delivered. "sleep with one eye open" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I had to pull over! Pure unadulterated foolishness.
The Narc looses his shit! go go be with your secondary supply....enjoy!
HG, I am aleays wondering how it is possible that the Narcissist has so many 'opportunities' to have a new intimate partner? It seems like they can have anybody by side..how is that possible? My exnarc is already 53 years old and not very stunning but it seems he always has a new woman...I really don't understand why seemingly everybody wants to be with him
Because most narcissists are exceedingly charming and excel at love-bombing. These traits are well-suited to luring in vulnerable people.
What I want to know is how does the narcissistic manage to stay married to someone? I know a textbook narcissist but he's been married for 20 years. Do a video on that please.
He turned almost everyone against me in this small town...he even got mad when our mutual friend wanted me to paint his house. Got a text from his friend last night telling me to not bother painting his house because he brought it up in front of my ex and he HAD A FIT...and told this friend that he will never talk to him ever again if he talks to me. He wants me totally isolated and alone..plus now hes even affecting my money.
As a normal I find this secret and wildly irrational predator/prey relationship occurring just beneath the surface of society is WILD.
Yeah right I left and have heard nothing he knew I knew! Blocked him everywhere and changed my phone number.
tick tick tick, almost all of the above, my word, spot on!
I relieved he has a New SLAVE. I'm free now, thank God😄🤣🤣🤣
H.G., Is there any of your work that speaks to the forever & possession combination? Given devaluation, I wondered if those were thoughts, behaviors, feelings in the moment - even if in living one moment at a time as a chameleon. As in many one moment at a time(s) linked together.
I've heard empaths say, forever is one new now at a time. In youth, I saw it only as forever as a concept only seen in looking back near the end of life. Leaving out expectation, and realising few promises can really be kept, forever seems a hope and or hope.
Thank you for all your work. I've had few surprises from you, which is amazing. 🌼
Your ability to articulate, describe, explain verbally are quite outstanding.
Your help is unsurpassed, and I would bet extraordinarily rare.
But do they actually think about us or care what we're doing if they've moved on and are now doing all the things with their new partner that they didnt want to do with us? Dont they just forget we ever existed? Do they really come back and try to hoover when theyve "upgraded"?
There was replacement n am the one who was supporting him
But if you have a good no contact regime how would the narcissist know you are with someone else? Unless of course you bump into them in public.
I suppose if you have mutual friends it would happen but luckily for me the narcissists I've been with didn't have mutual friends with me.
Social media.
HG what’s the reaction to a victim becoming the best version of themselves like getting in the best shape of their life, or making more money, better looking significant other, etc when you know a hoover would never work because of no contact. Wounded?
If you were total no contact the narcissist would not know any of this stuff though!
@@tamarapalmer6009 That's right and it's incredibly freeing to get to the stage where it doesn't matter what they think, or whatever, anyway! Mind you, I experienced a lot of pain and crying to get there, BUT I got through it. ❤
Whatever he mentioned or said I did it towards how I feel was correct..I am disengage from do to me ending this because I didn't get what I wanted..Which was intimacy but she made it seem she was doing me a favor..And agreed to leave me alone..Of course she has a new supply that she is hiding..She cried and blah blah..And fed me nonsense about not being ready for that right now..It's been a week no contact..But the first narc I dealt with did everything you mentioned when she seen with someone else..She tried to control me stalking me..Angry at the girl for no reason..She literally call another girl ugly saying I deserve better..The only girl she liked and didn't bad mouth was you guessed it..Was the narc I was just talking about in this comment that I am no contact with for a week..She actually left me alone encouraged us to do things..It was weird at first..But now I know why she notice how she was treating me..And was enjoying it so would come around to get info..I am tired of toxicity..I just want someone normal
How to get away and hide? Shelers aren't the answer as they are temporary and often have rules that make it very hard to get on your feet... How to stay away and out of their reach?
Thank you for this insightful information I am going through this at this present time with my ex malignant narrissist 👍
No it doesn't hurt HG my favorite narcissist 🥇 before I knew he was a narcissist I never was emotionally attached to him🤷♀️ I left 🏃♀️
Gross how the narc operates but I sense we are coming into narc karma season
Nope. Karma does not get them. They like living in hell.
Why get married so quickly never mind move on? We last spoke in February and he was saying he loved and missed me and then married in March. WHY? HG Tudor - You had mentioned could have been a change in supply matrix..... Could it be because she and I found out about each other and one was not going to stick around reducing his supply? He was on the spot and losing his mind, almost made me lose mine with his back and forth. I live in another state. He moved back to his home town after he lost his job.
I understand your perplexity and frustration Ann. Have you seen HG's video 'why did her marry her but not me?'
It really unravels the mystery behind Narcissist decision making.
People should stop saying " My narcissist" or "Mines" when referring to them because narcissist are essentially an entity meaning they are unconsciously possessed by a demonic, "evil" "dark" spirit sent to destroy us. It's basically like saying "My demon " or "My devil ". U claim that evil as your own by saying "My" which invites that devil back in...because thought are things...& what u claim in this universe as yours WILL find you eventually!..good or bad! Better start claiming stuff on Jesus name and leave claiming these narcissist alone! Food for thought
You might like to find out what "in Jesus' name" actually means, and how this expression came about. Read the scholarly book, Jesus the Magician, by Morton Smith.
Another interesting investigation on this subject is Who Wrote the New Testament? - The Development of the Christian Myth, by Burton L. Mack.
Wow...just, no
Don't play house in a home that's not yours .
HD question there are probably hundreds if not thousands of channels devoted to this subject so why does the problem seem to be growing
Recent example was the learning Johnny Depp began an intimate relationship with Winona R., *very soon after her neighbor, Jennifer Grey broke up with him. It was a note she left after Johnny vanished again, regardless of work or fury/hurt/etc. The flaunting was very much in her (Jennifer's) face. Fortunately for Jennifer, Johnny was an admitted rebound who treated her much better than her recent ex, Matthew Broderick and she recovered fairly fast. Although Johnny is not a Narcissist, these choices do seem to exhibit Narcissistic behaviors.
Also remember, the narcissist will check your You Tube account and see that you are watching videos about how to deal with, leave, divorce, go no contact with said narcissist. HAHAHAHA!!!!!