Adverse Childhood Experiences Can Be Connectors to Joy | Martha Londagin | TEDxDicksonStreet

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  • Опубликовано: 25 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 100

  • @paleobc65
    @paleobc65 4 года назад +102

    Love this, people always say the past doesn’t matter but it’s important to look at your past to assess present day damage

    • @pedroares8773
      @pedroares8773 3 года назад

      sorry to be offtopic but does anybody know a trick to get back into an instagram account??
      I somehow forgot my password. I appreciate any tips you can give me.

    • @briggsezra7783
      @briggsezra7783 3 года назад

      @Pedro Ares Instablaster ;)

    • @JustnCase
      @JustnCase 2 года назад

      They say a lot!!! Actions speak louder than words 🖖🏼

  • @Morrisneuro83
    @Morrisneuro83 3 года назад +38

    This woman's life was almost identical to my life! I felt so alone in the world until this video. Thank you

  • @Pravduh
    @Pravduh 3 года назад +16

    28 years old
    ACEs score is 10/10.
    God, please continue to heal my mind and body.

    • @hughmoore786
      @hughmoore786 3 года назад +2

      I see people abuse one another in unspeakable ways . . .
      but can do nothing to stop it or . . .
      What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn .
      - Henry David Thoreau -

  • @veronicachristopher9321
    @veronicachristopher9321 4 года назад +44

    Thanks for bringing this to life. I'm an ACE child with a score of 9. Not many people understand why I am how I am. As for parental abuse, I witnessed an abused father not mother. It encouraged me not to trust women as I see them as bullies. I'm more comfortable in the presence of men. My entire life, especially being attractive, has been women constantly trying to take me down. Men, however, lift me up ✌

    • @davidtichborne2912
      @davidtichborne2912 4 года назад +3

      A father being abused still counts and so does a sibling even roommate because your still being exsposed to the violence and another way abuse can mess someone up is seeing others do it can make that person think it is ok to do it as well and then likely to do it to I had about a 9 or 10 as well on the aces test and yes my mom was physically and mentally abused by my dad a few times but my mom had also abused him and my sibling was also abused and so was our dog witch was probably even worse to be honest the test is missing a whole load of things my dr even mentioned that even if it was just verbal domestic violence that they witnessed she thinks it still does count there's so many childhood traumas that are missing in this

    • @kenyattathompson6685
      @kenyattathompson6685 4 года назад +4

      Same here bro
      My mom was a very sneaky woman and I would see her do stuff to the men in her life including me... in my mind I’d the woman who had me treated me this way
      The rest will be worse

    • @madisonx
      @madisonx 3 года назад +4

      Bad abusive women should be held accountable for their actions. I have witnessed an abusive woman and she ironically would try to blame her abusive parents for her behavior. It's so baffling to meet someone so unaware of their actions and how they're bad because they were treated badly. Some take accountability for themselves and get mental health care so they don't put that onto others.

    • @XOlizzie6
      @XOlizzie6 3 дня назад

      there is research that says women and girls are more likely to be victims of bullying as well as being the bully :(

  • @STWBird
    @STWBird 3 года назад +10

    9/10 ACEs here. Thank you! Thank you for such an inspiring talk!!! Praise Jesus!! We are all beautiful! We are worthy. We are loved!!

  • @valeriestewart786
    @valeriestewart786 Год назад +1

    Negative things do not define us....I saw Tom Petty Live...RIP Tom...You are inspiring...May God Bless...you Joyful Soul...

  • @colleen_99
    @colleen_99 3 года назад +12

    10/10 first gen college student studying psych here. Thank you for your story; I related a lot.

  • @RayneQ
    @RayneQ 3 года назад +11

    This made me feel like we're all in this together ♡

  • @esriettescoachinghub2351
    @esriettescoachinghub2351 3 года назад +8

    I don't agree with the term, living in the past. You have to come to term with unpleasant things from your past to move forward. Dealing and remembering it, help to clarify your next move in the healing process. Denial of trauma leads to serious illness and depression. This is a wonderful story of healing and kindness, lifting others in the process. God bless you!! 💯 ‼️ ❤️ 😍

  • @dalibofurnell
    @dalibofurnell 2 года назад +4

    Wow this is an absolutely incredible testimony

  • @AdrianPantonial
    @AdrianPantonial 4 года назад +34

    I was in tears watching your wonderfully inspiring talk. Your past mess became your current and life-changing message. Thank you so much for your faith in action and the inspiration of your life. Mabuhay from the Philippines! :D

  • @autumngrace8541
    @autumngrace8541 2 года назад +3

    I think that violence toward any family member, Mother, Father, sibling, etc is an ACE. Not just violence toward mother.

  • @galacticgirl2286
    @galacticgirl2286 2 года назад +1

    Wow! This brought tears of joy! Thank you

  • @gma904
    @gma904 2 года назад +1

    And this is why we go through adversity.

  • @RozeLight
    @RozeLight 2 года назад +4

    I'm autstic (Asperger's), so I often looked unhappy because of emotional delay, but I do feel joy, I just don't facily espress it. So as a way to cope with my emotional delay, I decided to see my emotions through drawings and writing digital stories

    • @anniec81
      @anniec81 2 года назад +1

      My husband does not have any condition that I know of, but he doesn't like to laugh out loud very much. When I ask him why he isn't laughing out loud, he will respond that he is "laughing on the inside"
      My point is, it's OK to not be outwardly expressive. Not everyone is
      You know something I absolutely love about your comment is that you changed your perspective, found what you can control, & made progress towards a more fulfilling & enjoyable life
      That's incredibly awesome👌

  • @Flufyduck67
    @Flufyduck67 Год назад +3

    This is a beautiful talk. It resonated so strongly with my own past and my trying to move forward with happiness. Thank you for giving me further inspiration and ideas on how to. I too cannot blame my mother for her trauma, I feel for her. I was in a good place with her when she died. But now, it is recent trauma that I am dealing with that I have allowed to hold me back. Time to stop. Life is short, and time is precious. Thank you.

  • @Refreshing_Words
    @Refreshing_Words 3 года назад +7

    Excellent! My life has many parallels. So grateful for discovering the joy in my crazy, painful, messy life. All the pieces are me. 😍

  • @messiahswww
    @messiahswww 3 года назад +5

    This really spoke to my heart. How brave of you to share your story.

  • @marybrantly581
    @marybrantly581 Год назад +1

    childhood trauma is a bear to tackle, a journey. Every trigger in my life is about that trauma. Loved your talk, it resonates, just as the renowned Gabor Mate. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • @veronicataylor9568
    @veronicataylor9568 5 лет назад +17

    The power of embracing what was and living with heart in the present! Powerful1

  • @OfficialMyxomatosis
    @OfficialMyxomatosis 3 года назад +4

    You have given me a new way to look at myself. I have never seen the ACE list; what you posted made me sick to my stomach. I've had decades of therapy on and off, but apparently not the right kind! As menopause starts, a lot of things are coming up, childhood specific too. I will try to be more compassionate towards myself and understand that "these things are not going to go away."

  • @sonyaberkenpas5071
    @sonyaberkenpas5071 3 года назад +1

    Not sure how this Ted talk doesn’t have more views…we could all learn to live with “tragedies full of joy” a little more.

  • @positvgal8
    @positvgal8 Год назад +1

    You inspiring lady!..well done👏👏❤

  • @meghanstandish7236
    @meghanstandish7236 2 года назад +4

    Amazing talk! Truly amazing! Brought me to tears towards the end. So cool how she now helps other people in the similar situation.

  • @reg8297
    @reg8297 5 лет назад +15

    I think it's quiet a miracle your life turned out so well most wouldn't have that to tell if there experiencies were very abusive and traumatic as mine was

  • @rebeccahutchings1520
    @rebeccahutchings1520 3 года назад +3

    Thanks, I really needed to hear about someone else's story for a change. There's some kind of bolt on making permanent friends.

  • @jillcassill8743
    @jillcassill8743 5 лет назад +7

    that was so powerful from the perspective of the child and the perspective of the parent as well. thank you..

  • @ACEsMatter
    @ACEsMatter 3 года назад +10

    This was inspiring. Sincerely, Another 10/10

  • @Samantha11Rose
    @Samantha11Rose 5 лет назад +6

    Omg this made me cry. You need to trust.

  • @KasiaZosia04723
    @KasiaZosia04723 5 лет назад +10

    Amazing lady. Respect.🌷

  • @mariabarbieri909
    @mariabarbieri909 2 года назад +1

    Very inspirational speaker !

  • @kenyattathompson6685
    @kenyattathompson6685 4 года назад +13

    8/10 on Aces SMH
    41 just realizing the level of abuse I survived

  • @faustorment
    @faustorment 5 лет назад +5

    Thanks for sharing your life and learnings, Girl.

  • @be83
    @be83 2 года назад

    Thanks so much!!!

  • @NICOLE19842911
    @NICOLE19842911 4 года назад +12

    What a phenomenal story. Wow! You made it well. Congratulations. You’ve done something ..... gosh u explainable!. And reached success and success again with all of everyone and everything. I wish you al the best! Keep it up! Xoxo maybe 1 day... me too. I hope.

  • @purplepixi18
    @purplepixi18 5 лет назад +13

    She starts telling the ACES and I thought she was gonna say my parents names. Omg

  • @34562_
    @34562_ 3 года назад

    Thank you.

  • @petesanchez4090
    @petesanchez4090 5 лет назад

    Thanks to my team who got

  • @emily1486
    @emily1486 2 года назад

    Thank you ❤️

  • @ΧρυσουλαΒελωνια
    @ΧρυσουλαΒελωνια 3 года назад

    Wow!!!! Thank you!!!

  • @marleywilson2807
    @marleywilson2807 4 года назад +3

    Beautifully told, I wonder if your grandparents loved god also, seems like his hand was on you your whole life! You didn't go down the path of your mum, and I wonder what her story was to why she made her choices...thankyou for telling your story with a lovely lense in the end.. Powerful xxx

  • @PimpMatt0
    @PimpMatt0 5 лет назад +12

    I got 9/10 on the ACE score.
    I'm 25 and the trauma still continues. It's reduced but still continues. With each year that comes by I contemplate suicide.

    • @brendaestrada1782
      @brendaestrada1782 5 лет назад +2

      same here but im 36 :////

    • @Amypond1234
      @Amypond1234 5 лет назад +8

      Explicit Tech don’t give in to the pain. You are loved. You are worthy. ❤️❤️I promise it was not your fault. Seek out EMDR therapy.

    • @1LaOriental
      @1LaOriental 4 года назад +3

      Psychedelic therapy for childhood trauma/PTSD

    • @karenbonham1359
      @karenbonham1359 4 года назад +6

      Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary situation.

    • @Riverdeepnwide
      @Riverdeepnwide 4 года назад +5

      Explicit Tech hoping you're doing okay.
      At 66 now the thoughts of self harm are many years gone.
      Your life can turn out very well, please make a strong grasp to the good things of life until you find one day that you can truly relax into joy and know that you've won your personal battle.

  • @ejchristopher7369
    @ejchristopher7369 3 года назад +27

    There sure are a lot of comments about this being a "religious sermon". Whatever people's definition of that is, I find it interesting that I've never seen comments on any TedTalk, etc. that complains about Buddhists or Hindus showcasing their meditations or views as a way to help people or as part of sharing their personal and subjective stories to healing. If one cannot derive wisdom from another's experiences on account of or in lieu of their personal spiritual or religious convictions or lack thereof, then he/she is not really suitable for this type of platform or any serious intellectual discourse.

    • @ic2063
      @ic2063 3 года назад +3

      Religion aids us in our personal journey. Religion, like science, is a search for truth. I find it interesting how intellectuals bash anything that is not concrete and appears in studies. Perhaps they know nothing of the hang ups with Buddhism and Hindu religions because their curiosity has not taken them there. The reason there are so many religions is because there are so many ways to search for the truth.
      You’re right, some respect for ALL religions might be the decent thing to do. The Speaker appears to do more good than harm with her wisdom gleaned from her beliefs.

    • @autumngrace8541
      @autumngrace8541 2 года назад +1

      Buddhists and Hindus don't force their beliefs down your throat with religious abuse and tell you are less than because you don't believe same way....Also, what family members do you think told others about her mother being incarcerated in the first place....Well, I have a good guess.

    • @TokioTE
      @TokioTE 2 года назад

      This is the best comment

    • @TokioTE
      @TokioTE 2 года назад

      @@autumngrace8541 How would you know? Did you grow up in a traditional Buddhist _and_ Hindu community?

  • @lolibudang5085
    @lolibudang5085 2 года назад +1

    10/10 myself, but very sad that I'm responsible for what my children are going through.

  • @binadam9459
    @binadam9459 5 лет назад +4

    excellent talk

  • @TheeKaylaMarieOne
    @TheeKaylaMarieOne 4 года назад +4

    9/10. My mother was the violent person. 10/10.

  • @tshtika
    @tshtika 2 года назад +1

    No more cigarettes, no more Shame, no more sugar

  • @yusefmohamed7492
    @yusefmohamed7492 3 года назад +3

    I thought it was interesting .. typical of a lot of how our lives may start out.. being a bit older 59 and from England I spent time on many care homes and foster homes too.. we never called our issues aces as we never knew that’s what they were back then.
    No I’m hoping to foster so am aware and was shocked how many I had too.
    That said I became a success as inside I was always a good person but born into tough situations.
    The message I think though is you start have to stay in bad situations if you try hard to be better than what you were shown.. use those negatives to be positive.
    Don’t get me wrong o have faced many situations too as a grown up like we all do with desperation’s illness etc etc.
    I wish everyone the best and hope you can look forward positively even in this new world we now find ourselves in.

  • @Amypond1234
    @Amypond1234 5 лет назад +6

    I’m a 10 as well

  • @niccolea2086
    @niccolea2086 4 года назад +8

    Weird but her life seemed like a cup of tea to me.

    • @lyndiablack9098
      @lyndiablack9098 4 года назад +1

      I thought I was the only one that felt that way.

    • @XOlizzie6
      @XOlizzie6 3 дня назад

      ^^ rewatch the video. Her parent made her cover for them to steal. Would send her off with her partner at the time to go sell drugs, was isolated from other kids and not invited to others homes. She said she didnt trust anyone.
      she said she was anxious and controlling. she said she had more then 7 aces. having more than four gives a person twelve times the chance of experiencing depression in their life! its not about if you think it’s acceptable, what you’ve been through is just as important. when you do develop a sense of self, you can then help others the original ace study was done on 70% caucasian and participants ace score ranges from 0-10. They were also college educated like the presenter. It’s important to see if a college educated experienced this many aces, marginalized groups may have a 10/10 ace score too

  • @kiraanastasiaandersen1145
    @kiraanastasiaandersen1145 2 года назад

    Im a blonde girl riddled with Ace points, who is in law school dating a sweet quite farmers boy. I had 18 addresses before i turned 18. Wow

  • @erikweston209
    @erikweston209 4 года назад +5

    Shero!

  • @MoonlapseOpethian
    @MoonlapseOpethian 4 года назад +1

    9/10.

  • @melliecrann-gaoth4789
    @melliecrann-gaoth4789 2 года назад

    💚

  • @dawnanderson611
    @dawnanderson611 5 лет назад +7

    my partner and i both got 10 but I could have gotten 12

    • @davidtichborne2912
      @davidtichborne2912 5 лет назад +1

      Other 2 being bullied at school and a parent also having a medical problem as well as a mental illness

    • @kenyattathompson6685
      @kenyattathompson6685 4 года назад +1

      What’s the other 2

    • @dawnanderson611
      @dawnanderson611 4 года назад +1

      Both my parent went to jail and more then one beat my mom also bullied

  • @Lea151Morgan
    @Lea151Morgan 5 лет назад +7

    Here's another perfect 10.. :(

  • @ange8549
    @ange8549 3 года назад +1

    Very lucky to be white, goodlooking, average iq (no alcool abuse during pregnancy) and have nice grandparents

  • @DangerAmbrose
    @DangerAmbrose 5 лет назад +14

    You lost me with the invisible space wizard love. SMH

    • @annetteprice
      @annetteprice 3 года назад

      I suspect spiritual bypassing here. Especially with a 10/10 score. Hope I’m wrong, for her sake.

  • @annetteprice
    @annetteprice 3 года назад +3

    Can be connectors to joy. How? This talk doesn’t deliver, it was so vague. “I got therapy, did group therapy and turned myself over to god.” That’s not really revelatory, sorry.
    And honestly the religious stuff is a huge turnoff for those of us raised in abusive but religious homes.
    This video just left me confused and annoyed for having wasted almost 20 minutes on it.

  • @sarahmurphy1951
    @sarahmurphy1951 2 года назад

    No mention of the death of a parent??

  • @SC-vb2ui
    @SC-vb2ui 3 года назад

    Admire You ⛲🙏 a 💝 to World ⛲💓

  • @hughmoore786
    @hughmoore786 3 года назад

    To me she is saying . . .
    This is not America . . .
    Only a shadow of what this country used to be ! ! !

  • @yashpermalla3494
    @yashpermalla3494 6 лет назад +1

    How am I first comment, 8th like, and 171th viewer of a video on a channel with 10 million subs?

  • @rynnierynnierynnie489
    @rynnierynnierynnie489 5 лет назад +10

    Until you said something about religion i was very interested..

    • @felixricarte8660
      @felixricarte8660 5 лет назад +5

      Rynnie Rynnierynnie she didn’t speak religious. She was speaking about group theory that helped her and so she seek the Lord. You can seek whatever you like, she was just telling you what helped her. She not once pushed the Lord on anyone. She was sharing her experience and what helped her find JOY. So you seek your group therapy and I pray it works for you. Just seek tho.

  • @marcosdominguez1234
    @marcosdominguez1234 4 года назад +5

    Okay, another lady using Ted Talks as her own therapy to tell the world about her traumas. Good for her, but I didn't learn how to turn ACEs into joy

  • @Manchessollte421
    @Manchessollte421 4 года назад +4

    didn't know ted talks were allowed to be religious sermons.

    • @torreygreen6794
      @torreygreen6794 4 года назад +2

      What sermon did she preach? What scriptures did she use? What holy book did she quote?

    • @imbatman4665
      @imbatman4665 4 года назад +2

      @@torreygreen6794 Watch the video

    • @kenyattathompson6685
      @kenyattathompson6685 4 года назад +1

      Dark comment

    • @tilliunique
      @tilliunique 4 года назад +7

      Sermon? Simply expressing her story isn't a sermon. It's her experience. And no, I'm not religious before you start assuming that, too. Different paths for different people. Hearing other's stories helps us to gather ideas about what may be of help on our own path. That's what I see as her whole intention of her talk. Clearly she's in a good place with her life and seemed to be offering to do the talk out of generosity as opposed to preaching or garnering therapeutic benefits.

  • @GrannySanny
    @GrannySanny 4 года назад

    It was before Roe V Wade-you probably would not be here.

    • @lyndiablack9098
      @lyndiablack9098 4 года назад

      Birth control pills were available in 1966.

  • @waynemizer4912
    @waynemizer4912 2 года назад

    Too many holes in this rich narcissist's story for me.