Surviving Revenge P*rn
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- Leah uses they/them pronouns.
CW: This episode contains descriptions of image-based sexual abuse, sucidal ideation, SH, and SA.
Image-based sexual abuse, often known as "revenge p*rn" or "non-consensual p*rnography," is a disturbing digital offense with severe implications, particularly for young people. This malicious act involves the unauthorized distribution of explicit or intimate images or videos, exploiting trust or technology to share them online without consent. Among the most vulnerable are young individuals who may lack the experience and resources to protect themselves effectively. The consequences for them can be devastating, including emotional distress, social ostracization, and suicide. Combating this issue requires legal measures, comprehensive education, and digital literacy programs, all geared towards safeguarding the well-being of our youth in the digital age.
Leah’s socials:
www.leahjuliett.com/
/ leahjuliett
/ leahjuliettpoems
Leah’s Book:
www.leahjuliett.com/naked-in-...
00:00 Introduction & life growing up
5:30 Relationships, self-consciousness
11:15 First kiss
14:00 Perpetrator pressures Leah
15:15 Sending the photos
19:50 Leah starts showing interest in other people, perpetrator retaliates
20:30 The incident
22:00 Images shared on a website
26:20 Immediate aftermath & long-term impacts
28:50 Perpetrator gets arrested, Leah starts speaking publicly
33:00 Interaction with perpetrator afterward
36:00 Revenge p*rn terminology
37:30 Organizing a protest & Leah’s activism
46:00 Working through trauma
51:40 Leah’s book & being invited to the White House
54:00 The power of speaking out
Lesson of the day
for the uneducated people in the back :
Not ALL porn is consensual.
Yup
Don’t go down the porn hub rabbit hole. 😡
Most of it isn’t
most isn't, people are coerced, manipulated, groomed into it etc.
REALLY
It blows my mind how some men are hell bent on ruining women's lives, like we'd literally have a cure for cancer by now if they put this much energy into it
I remember in highschool there was this group of guys that had a shared folder of a bunch of pics that girls at our school had sent, and they showed everyone. It was awful. Everyone was shaming the girls and calling them sluts, but all I could think was "why aren't we shaming the ones sharing the photos?". Thank you for speaking on this topic, we need more education for young people and strategies to stop this from happening. Sending you so much love Leah!
Women just need to stop sending nude pics, even to your spouse.
She’s a great story teller & the phrasing “baptized into pain” was beautifully worded
Leah uses they/them pronouns, just so you know! ❤
I can't believe she keeps blaming herself for not standing up at the time when she was literally a child. What they were spreading was child p*rnography, it was a disgusting crime and in no way is she accountable for not speaking up!! Thank you for sharing such a powerful story.
I hope she's in therapy for it a lot of the time victims take the blame for "letting things happen" between them and their abuser but that's part of the abuse 💔
they use they/them pronouns! ❤️
"I'm telling my story on behalf of my younger self who so wanted that opportunity but didn't know what to say"...THIS.THIS.THIS.
my new favorite podcast, thank you for giving so many different people a safe space to open up and share their stories 🙏🏼
😊😮 😢esqzzLOVE zzzzz❤exam❤e❤ 😊😂e😅z😢❤❤❤e😂
The amount of safety and understanding on this channel is why i love it so much. I have never seen any story on here that had even the slightest air of judgement, just a genuine love and understanding for people and their stories and experiences. As someone whose grown up with experiences that I’ve been scared to share because of judgement, i feel so safe and seen in this channel. I genuinely adore her and her mission
Seriously love listening
A great conversation. Thank you for sharing your story! I was sexually assaulted and it was filmed. The guy blackmailed me (all of this happened when I had a nervous breakdown and was in a broken state of mind) until I had given up and said “go for it, get the video out there”. Don’t know if it ended up happening or not, but it was definitely very scary for a while.
what breaks my heart is that lately there has been so many cases of teens and preteens committing suicid€ over being sextorted... the shame one feels after being threatened is so big and i cannot imagine being so young and having to deal with such a heavy secret... i hope that whoever is reading this if they've dealt with it or know someone who is dealing with something similar OR have kids.. please talk to them about it, no one is gonna judge you, the predator is gonna be judged...
“Young women in highschool”…. You mean kids. Children.
Would girls be appropriate? I ask because a coworker once ripped me a new one for casually saying , so where are you girls going tonight? Several women were going out for drinks after work. She said she had not been a girl since the age of 13. Ten seconds later another woman coworker stepped into the room and said, So where are we girls going? I use guys now, no matter what sex. Nobody gets offended.
Some people in high school are 18 or 19 so not necessarily
Are kids old enough to determine what X they are and should be allowed to change X?
-_-
no she doesn’t mean children
i went to the same high school as Leah when they were a senior and i was a freshman, i always loved their advocacy work for this topic, so happy to see them able to spread their story!
Liar
@@lillianhirt1786 i’m not? but okay random commenter lol
I’m from a town over. It shocked me to hear about this story that happened very close to me. I never really hear ab things near me publicized like this. Ofcourse. I know it happens, unfortunately often, but I’m not used to hearing ab it in this manner.
34:00 is when I started crying, it really is terror mixed with anxiety learning to navigate through life, like leah said it feels like there’s a chunk of you missing and it really makes it difficult to stand up for yourself in front of the perpetrator if you’re still going through the process of healing. healing of self really isn’t linear and I have massive respect for the people who have the strength in themselves to take action
Absolutely, I had the realization that it seems like more of me is hole than in there. So many people have taken so many pieces that I am a jigsaw with most of the image missing. This helped a lot to see it in that way.
“I was baptized into pain”
Wow that hits hard
Leah you are so strong, wow. I’m so happy that you were able to channel this into poetry. This was a beautiful ending to such an unfair story.
I'm 7 minutes in and can't believe how similar their story is to mine. Back when I was younger, I used to feel so alone and thought I was the only young girl doing those kinds of things and seeking validation from older men. I was blamed by everyone around me. This helps me so much, it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I wasn't very familiar with the term "revenge p*rn" before seeing the title of this video and now that I've looked it up, I realized that it happened to me too. I wish there was more awareness on this topic back then but I'm glad it's being talked about now
leah uses they/them pronouns 💕
this made me tear up, she is so incredibly strong. women and survivors are so conditioned to fit societal standards and to feel guilt for our traumas- stories like this help to break that cycle. thank you for sharing
leah is non-binary 💕 they use they/them pronouns
I feel really bad for this woman. This is absolutely awful 😞. I'm so glad I grew up pre-social media. Thank you for having her on. I give her a lot of credit for how she handled this situation.
they use they/them!!
person*!!
they started this story by saying they're a non binary person 🕴️
@@heythankstommyit’s an honest mistake. This person obviously has compassion for this person so let’s have some patience for them.
@@FrauStormm bro literally I just said they started by saying this bc it's funny as fuck that this commenter missed it this bad, nothing about what I said is NOT having patience for them :D
Porn really does ruins people lives. Moral of the story: please don’t participate, and please don’t watch.
Exactly it’s such a cruel thing to do to somebody
Who's not gonna watch Lol
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@doctors8966a LOT of people who aren’t small minded
@@doctors8966People who don't want to engage with sexual violence or with possible sexual exploition????
I don’t get why people care if they’re men or women sharing their stories on here. I’m a man but I relate to so much of what she was saying, I don’t really think gender matters here
Leah uses they/them pronouns
Men and women will always have a different life experience from one another
Thank you for sharing your story, Leah. When I was around 12, I was affected by this same thing. I met a man on the internet who I can only assume was much older than me, and he told me that he wanted naked pictures of me and I sent them. I don’t even remember why I sent them, I was so young I blocked so much of it out. When he asked me to do really explicit things, I said no, and he posted pictures of my boobs onto Twitter and tagged me and all my online friends. I blocked him and reported them, but I don’t know if they’re still out there.
I didn’t even realize that had happened to me until I remembered it a couple months ago. I’m terrified of them resurfacing. It’s crazy how young children like myself can get exploited like this and practically away with it.
The same thing happened to me at age 14. I feel awful everyday because of it, I hate having a mental illness. It caused me to get groomed online. (╥﹏╥)
My body is my home. I needed to hear this. I always am so afraid of being raped again. I always wonder and worry that if that happens to my body again that it will kill me. Maybe it won't. But now I have more tools to help if it does happen. Thank you Leah, you are amazing and beautiful. You are so important.
this episode has made me realize so much about my younger self and how much of my life i have chosen to forget. holy shit. just wanting any type of validation and attention that you do this stuff. for it to be sent around the school. for it to end up on a website. that is so crazy wow. thank you for this episode
Growing up with social media led me to the same exact place. The man hid himself just before the police could catch him. I have no closure, but instead hope that legislation keeps changing. Thank you ❤
It really is confusing just how sexualized the body is. Like why should I have to worry if my breasts show if I have to pick something up. Why is it “shameful” that I don’t like cower and try to hold it up. We are human we are the only animals that find our body’s so shameful that even an accidental reveal is seen as shameful and dirty. why do we have to worry so bad that anyone besides our designated partner sees our being. like I pray I’m born as some kinda animal in the next like lol. Like let me come back as a cat or something so I can be free and shameless
It’s super annoying. Like, as a woman, I don’t feel like wearing a bra or nipple covers I want to be comfortable. But if nipples show oh no that means i wanna bang like TF it’s irritating being a woman
Because human beings hate women and shame them for everything.
“It wasn’t that I felt like I didn’t belong in the world. It’s that I felt like the world didn’t see me.” That hit so close to home.
wowwww.. such an eye opening conversation. I'm 40 and have a 3 year old so knowing what this generation is going through is so helpful.
This happened to me as well 🥺 it’s hard
I was more upset at my male friends who told me because they didn’t think it was a big deal. They didn’t say “hey what the fuck man, don’t send those” . And I wonder if they saved them, or further spread them. Now I feel sick when I think back to most of my highschool memories. That was over 10 years ago and it only feels like last year.
Thank you for sharing this ❤️ thanks for standing up for us
that site needs to be taken down, thats horrible. it makes me sick.
"To be the person I needed"
That is my life mission to !
I’m also a victim of a website like that. Me and so many girls I went to high school with. It was so humiliating.
I related so much to the self conscious part, it reminded me of how I’ve been feeling lately and how I’m not alone.
I've never commented on any of these podcasts, but damn. This person is incredible. Truly inspiring and SUCH a great speaker!!
This was amazing, thank you for this and thank you Leah. Hearing about the middle schooler getting arrested for sharing and not even knowing instead of the person distributing is so…gross and it’s happening to this day. A video of a dad asking police to come talk to his young daughter because she was scared and didn’t know about what could happen sharing her pictures after she was being coerced by someone on the internet, they threatened the dad saying they could just arrest her with child pornography chargers if he called again instead of helping. It’s sick and no wonder people are scared to just ask for help when they’re young and don’t even know
Wow, I started tearing up when they talked about everything they managed to achieve and how much they advocated for themselves and everybody that went through something so terrible as this. They‘re such a beautiful soul. This episode has deeply moved me. I wish you all the best Leah
Thank you to Leah for sharing their story.
The way you described beauty like that at 8:06 literally made my day!
Wow I did not realize so many people go through this. Absolutely horrible. Thank you both for this amazing episode ❤
This host was just born for this job!
I hate that so many of us had to go through very similar situations as young women. I relate to so many of these stories, one day I will hopefully be strong enough to speak out.
ANON IB WAS SUCH AN ISSUE WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL OMFFFFG i thought it got deleted???! its an entire site of child porn how the fuck is still up. i think bringing awareness to the name of the site is important so we can take that shit down once and for all
This young woman exudes confidence and purpose. Her story has made her strong and that’s a blessing.
I wish parents would have meaningful conversations with their children about the world and what’s safe and unsafe and how to better protect themselves from harm. Keep the doors on communication open so our children can come to us with problems. My daughter was exploited by a friend in junior high. Luckily the picture was only one of her wearing a bra while talking to said friend via zoom. Friend too a screenshot then months later shared that screenshot with boys at school. The school got involved and we (parents) didn’t place any blame on our daughter at all. We used it as a learning and awareness opportunity moving forward. Our daughter now sees and understands how something so innocent can become something detrimental. The world is brutal and technology makes it so much easier to exploit others. Be careful out there!
I could never imagine going through this. You are so strong for getting through this.
I’ve never related so much to a guest. I always was looking for love in all the wrong places. Learning about sex to early. Feeling like sex was the only thing I could provide as a person. I hated myself as a small child and felt so ugly. I also had relationships end in school then the guy would spread my nudes. I always blamed myself.
I think this really was (for me personally) one of the most impactful stories shared on this podcast! Leah is so incredibly strong for this and the message they ended with is so sooo important and also eye opening for a young survivor of SA❤️ They did amazing and I can’t wait to see what more they go on to do, even if just for themselves❤️❤️
the speaker's statement of having a full circle moment gave me chills. it shows the resilience of the human character. very well spoken and strong. I am proud you had the courage to share your story and use your voice for police change.
Leah really is such a great speaker the poet in them really shines through
Thank you for sharing your story. I sent a picture in middle school and it haunts me to this day that I didn't say anything when it was being shown to the entire school. I relate so much to this story.
It’s so scary to think how I was once a young girl and how easy it was for people to take advantage and ugh it’s so sad 😞 I struggle from time to time about self worth etc
thank you for sharing your story. this is such an important topic that needs to be talked about more. thank you for all you do, Leah. and Dev for letting people share on your platform
although just a question: did Leah agree to having the title of the video be surviving “revenge porn” as they stated that they don’t see it to be revenge or porn.
I loved this guest! She said a lot of things that struck me. Well done 👏🏼
Leah you're only 2 years younger than myself. I have seen this stuff happen all the time in high school and middle school. And im so glad you are still here. I have had similar stuff happen and its scary luckily he never posted my photos that i know of... but knowing they still can be floating out there is terrifying. But either way im not that person anymore im not that little girl. and like you said that would just show their character more.
This has been my favorite so far. She's so confident
34:36 is probably the most insightful thing I’ve heard about the long term effect of exploitation ever. Thank you for helping give me the language to explain this to others
This is why it’s important to teach your children that everything they post on the internet is forever, be it on social media or in DMs, you never know if that other person will turn out to be horrible, or someone accidentally sees it on their phone, or if they get hacked etc. My parents taught me that early on and I’m glad every day because look at what happens to young women without guidance
I really enjoyed listening to Leah's story.
Maybe an unpopular opinion: I really come to this podcast to listen to the guests. Sometimes I feel Dev takes over too much with her own opinion or experiences, especially on topics she probably feels more knowledgeable about. It then feels like the guest then has to become responsible for driving forward the conversation vs Dev as the host, who I would expect to redirect and guide.
It's her podcast, she can do what she wants and I'll still listen. Just friendly feedback.
Yeah Dev talked alot during this one
I know exactly what website you’re talking about. It got sent to me when I was around 23 because there were pictures of my best friend on there. She was underaged in the photos, and had no idea that these pictures of her had probably been floating around for years. Still makes me sick to think about. 😢
You are an incredible woman!! ❤Your story is amazing, sad, but true. I'm so happy for you that you got your voice back! Don't ever give up your rights!! God bless you❤ As far as you feeling guilty because of showing grace to someone whose done you wrong, there is a higher power who will deal with him someday and if not there's always karma! It seems he's going to pay for alot he's done or is doing!
I relate so much to her. I don’t remember life without pain. I’ve always felt as though that’s how my life just has to be. Without pain who am I ?
Ugh I remember being into a drug phase. I had a pill and this older guy begged me for it, and pressured me for sex. Then. He told everyone I drugged him and made him have sex with me. It’s wild
i love that you said your guest has a good voice and speaks well because you two sound almost identical lmao
thank you for sharing your story!
so i went through the exact same thing and to hear you, is helping me so much
Side note- Leah your tattoos are SICK. Love them
50:11 made me tear up I get it girl and I’m happy you’re here 🥹
How did no adult stop this once it started going around? That is basically sharing child porn? I dont give a fuck how old the person sharing it is that is fucked up. That boy needs some serious consequences.
Literally if I was in that situation and my mom found out that boy would be fucked-
absolutely horrifying. i know exactly what website she’s talking about and some of my close friends are also victims of it as well, having their pictures up for everyone to see.
im glad for this, leah has this light that i see in myself that im stil uncovering, and also being a nonbinary person, i feel a little happy that if they got it i could too. they are well spoken, i wonder if i can speak like my life like this too someday? i really like this podcast.
I relate to this so much had a very similar situation to this day I don’t talk about the things that happened I had no support and still don’t it feel good to hear her talk and see that people stand behind her ❤️
boys in my high school posted them all on a private instagram and shared a password amongst themselves they would change often
Evil behavior
I agree that what you say can determine something even if your young and immature and don’t understand the circumstances.
I feel at some peace knowing someone is strong enough to speak up I always was so annoyed by how normalized this was thank you
When she shared about how she held the door open for hom after he exploited her. I can so relate to that
Sending a very big virtual hug to all my humans. Stay safe, take care of yourself ❤
Absolutely incredible 🥹🥹🥹 this young woman is truly admirable, resilient and beautiful 👏🏼👏🏼💐
I'm an 80's baby, so I didn't have a cell phone during my school era. But I could imagine the distraction and destruction in the hands of undeveloped minds.
beautiful, it makes me so angry to hear about the actions of these people. i think it is especially dangerous if you are in a low and isolated place as someone can come and take advantage of it. it is so disturbing to me that the people who are so selfish are the ones who are the happiest in this world...
My ex did this to me too when I was 15.
Sounds like eastern ct to me . I hated living there for school 😭. Litchfield county is a close second
Leah is such an incredible speaker truly
I have similar stories. Not to mention getting kicked out of school for people sharing your nude photos still happens today
11:54 “that’s nice of him” 😭😭
I’m sure it was sarcasm ❤️
i wish i could give her a hug that showed her how beautiful and worthy she is
I know the exact website theyre talking about...because the same thing happened to me.
Thankfully I had already dropped out a few years prior so I didn't have to deal with too much from it... but it is extremely violating.
The site was taken down for awhile but since they mentioned that it was still up, I checked and yeap. Its back up and now theres a pay wall- but get this. They archived EVERYTHING from before it temporarily went down, starting from 2010...
So me and the people I knew and found on there are still there :( ugh.
Idk how they get away with this
🕺beep-boop, pronoun reminder, they/them please🕺
@@heythankstommyyea i didnt finish the vid before commenting, passed out, I just woke up and went to finish & read the description 😅
Thank you though. 💖 I love people like you btw. It fookin sucks having to remind people (i also have they/them pronouns) and its so uncomfortable 😭 so, just wanted to say, please dont ever stop 💝
@@bleepbloop404 I'm trans and I have an ungodly autistic need to correct people, so I promise I'll never stop💪
They really took their story back ❤
omg when she talked about the girl sending pictures to her bf and being arrested in middle school… i literally lived that. in 8th grade I was put in handcuffs and the school police threatened to take me to jail where they would
make fun of me for what i did. my parents weren’t there, i was alone in the room with a police officer and the dean. it was the most dehumanizing thing especially as a child. even though i felt like a victim, they treated me like a suspect. i was harassed for months after that. thank you for allowing her to share her story, ive never felt so seen 🫠
it sucks that so many girls have gone through this… she’s so brave and so are you❤️
🕺beep-boop, pronoun reminder, they/them please🕺
they both have beautiful smiles
But seriously, can we talk about how small-minded and bigoted people in small towns are? They started talking, and I felt like they were describing my life exactly to a T. I grew up being bullied in elementary school for having hair on my arms and not having this specific style of clothes and being the child of divorced parents, and I craved validation from anywhere. It was always funny to me because in 5th grade, I moved to a much much bigger town, and I never heard one word about my arm hair or the way I dressed and I found it pretty easy to talk to boys becuase they thought I was pretty and it was all downhill from there lol
I’m 24 and I grew up in Bristol the neighboring city. I know so many women stuff like this has happened to
Very good interview
i love this podcast an especially this episode, i am also a survivor of revenge porn and a writer!! i wrote a book called divine about a victim of sexual abuse. if anyone wants to read it just reply ill send the link:)
I would like to read your book
I would like to read your book please
that sounds awesome i would love to rea it
Would love to read it!
this is so common its sad
I wish i knew more about her parents in this story
As a potential mother, i wish i could pinpoint what causes children to seek external validation
my middle school boyfriend spread multiple of my pics to the entire basketball team. of course it spread further than that. i feel this so hard ;(
That’s so crazy, that shouldn’t be able to happen to a normal person.. 🎉
My ex did this to me. I think about offing myself often because of it.
Don't. You are the only person who should not hurt herself.
dont your not the only one suffering
Wow such an empowering person and story …AMAZING🎉🎉🎉
I’m just so happy that she stayed strong through it and is still alive today.
I love these videos i binged watched when I came across these videos not sure where you do these podcast out of but have always wanted to tell my story! Everyone has a story and these have helped so much heading others tell there story so so brave!!
3:26
Name of a doom metal song/album
WHO is raising these boys? Terrible teenage / college aged boys need to have more accountability for so much harm they cause to young girls!!