This happened to me several times and I've learned from it now. Now, I choose to stay single and if ever someone comes again, I will never show interest at him that quick.
Possibly. However the current dating market focuses on casual relationships. Red Pill community and male date coaches teach men toxic skills.-gameplaying. "Get her to chase you" etc. Emotionally unhealthy men love to be chased.
This plays a big role. In my experience, he doesn't understand how somebody could love him so much especially when he finds them to be attractive and a good person. He doesn't think he deserves any of it. Which is why I try to show my feelings but not in an overwhelming way and get a bit more open or intense about it very gradually
So basically these type of men are jerks or idiots. Someone who is afraid for you to express your feelings while they can express theirs ? And you should never date these kind that are not looking for the same thing you're looking for.
Sounds like a guy who doesn't recognize a good opportunity. Turns it down, only to circle back around later after the woman is over him. He put himself in the friend zone.
The guy would either not be interested in you all ready for a serious relationship or he's a chickenshit and runs every time any girl shows interest both of those scenarios you wouldn't want as a girl anyways. But don't misconstrued that with a man that is protective to make sure he doesn't get hurt because they will just hold back but they won't stop it if it goes forward as long as things are right and you're not showing any signs of the ex that was horrible.
It is long documented that men often over-estimate how much a woman actually likes him. Been documented for YEARS. I mean over 2 decades. So, they often think we like them more than we do. It's their ego, pure and simple.
It has to be because they want to feel appreciated but they go about it the wrong way by trying to make women feel things there not actually feeling just because she is talking to you doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date you the only reason I converse with men is for work related reasons. If I wasn't being forced to talk to them I wouldn't talk to anyone at all. Less drama that way.
Men want you to be interested otherwise they're going to just stop talking to you and if you don't give them attention they're going to move on to the girl that does. You would either be showing signs of their ex that is horrible or they don't have any serious want to be committed to you they don't want anything serious with you. If you give a man attention and you show interest and he shows it back that is the guy you want if you don't show it you're getting nowhere
This happens with either younger or older men...I don't start any interest in anyone - but mostly I find them all oppurtunistic ...that's why I am still single
Commonly they have an avoidant attachment . Due to hookup culture there is the power of perceived choice which focuses on casual relationships. Hence why it's important to state your position at the first meeting. This will weed out the wrong men fast. Don't be afraid to lose guy. The book 8 Dates is a helpful tool. Common sense before-emotions
I always like someone way too much. They alway take advantage or stay of a while and waste my time and leave. Now I have learned it is not bad just to match their energy level or even hold back a little and create space to figure stuff out but also protect your heart. Let them figure out you are awsome.
This is so stupid, then why do they even bother to show you that they have an interest. Ugh this is frustrating. But your content is great and make sense. You tell us the truth. But I can’t handle it and want all of them to stop bothering me if they just want to waste time. Life is too short. This just to me in my opinion ( which doesn’t matter) just shows when they pull back they just wanted to use you. When they could have kept it at a friend level with no problems. But yet they want to try to test the waters and see what they can get away with, with you. Then boom you show interest then the guy ghosts. I hate this . I just don’t want to be bothered or have my time wasted.
This happened to me on fb this guy was coming at me..i saw the love so when i reciprocated he pulled away and started ignoring me..but i did'nt waste much time because i saw it for what it was and and i realized if i had continue to push the relationship he would've used the opportunity to waste my time and play me so i pulled away too and i forgot about him..
So basically these men are not born to be loved bcz noone can know on which page a guy is, what he wants n its impossible to know in starting of a relationship. When someone loves you without any expectations, love them back you will be blessed.
Yeah but he settled for her out of convenience think about that she was a second option being used as a pawn to make you jealous. This is what you do next move on to an even better looking guy or just stay single and set a new goal for yourself that takes up all your time like writing music. You have to appear like this doesn't bother you. Because if it doesn't bother you it will eventually backfire on both of them. Don't fight for him at all. Just move on its much better then wasting your youth on a guy that doesn't know what he wants from a girl anyways because if he would play head games with you he would do that with the other girl too.
So don't show to much interest. You have to get to the point with them right away.What are you looking for? Ask questions. Are you in this for just a good time? Etc.Make sure he wants the same things as you.
Yep that’s what happened to me just here recently. He wanted to get to know me he was interested in me. One phone conversation and a good morning and a good night text. Not very interested as far as I’m concerned. So I pulled away
Its a broken generation after generation. Actual love and healthy connections are scarce in this world. We are all recycling each other’s pain, if only people would just learn to heal the right way, relationships would be heaven on earth. We are truly in the last days where the love of many are waxed cold. Love yourself and everyone who welcomes your love, no point in seeking the heart of weak and broken men. Pride is the most ugliest trait in any character.
Sometimes its because he discovered something about her that made him feel angry, upset or something like that. Then, his feelings started to disappear and then he loses the feelings for talking with her anymore and he just feel the anger.
Returning interest on or just a bit below the interest level he shows her is a healthy response. If that’s enough to make him flee, HE’s got a mental problem. If she (or he, cuz this one goes both ways) comes on hard, then yeah- it’s not likely to be reciprocated; it’s too soon. Save the big enthusiasms for when it’s MUTUAL! 😉
Persues and leads you on... in time you show interest then says that he " went in too deep" ... and in a dodgy situation suddenly down the line out of the blue claims he has a "fear of commitment" ... That if I 'feared losing him I already lost him'... and that we should kiss other people... etc at the time I was naive and tried to understand him... but now I know there were so many red flags I could of notice despite him working hard to get me to open up and trust and suddenly just before you fully do.. boom pulls the rug and suddenly throws everything about you back at you, all moody and almost disgusted by you, and all your insecurities and pain shared sockingly triggered and flipped on you and in your confusion asking yourself what the hell happened and what can I do to fix myself... Spends so much time with you, then when you want to know where the relationship is going then "you're not good enough and nobody will ever want you". Makes you also feel like because you are an older person that lacks experience or knowledge in the 'bedroom department' or experience, that your not good enough and then you feel guilty you might of lost the guy you loved maybe because of this, cuz seriously isnt thats all guys seem to really want :( and not the emotional connection nowadays it seems. (Fyi he admitted to having no emotional connection to me just after being intimate! ). And maybe I opened up too much, and thoughtless leant too much on him cuz he made me feel so comfortable in the beggining to be myself and open up, but I guess at the time what I was going through would of been too much baggage to share with anyone, but he encouraged me to, which may have later been interpreted as clingy overtime maybe, etc. All I know, all I wanted was to give my all to a guy, to see him smile, to open up and have a trusting connection, to be loved and give love, work on things together, form close and safe vulnerable and emotionally connected place, share memories together etc ... yet now I look at relationship as one big radioactive ball, best kept away from; for health and safty reasons obviously. lol :(
What about the scenario I just experienced over the last few months, where the guy CHASED me…I wasn’t interested at first but after spending tons of time together over a couple of weeks I started to catch feelings and it felt like I was “matching” his energy…then he pulled away! Why would he do all that work to get me and when I finally let my guard down he runs off? I’m so confused 😕
because he finally caught you. the only women who get married are the ones who can convince the guy that he still hasn't caught them yet and marriage is just one more step in that direction.
@@waggawaggafulthats the most toxic shit I've heard,these kinds of guys are maniacs and should be avoided,a healthy minded guy will respect your deep feelings for him and stay close to you,not run away.
Lol if they are indecisive then just DON'T PURSUE THE WOMEN! WHY MAKE SOMEONE ATTACHED WHEN YOU Aren't EVEN SURE! SOUNDS LIKE A BABY NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
WE met, hé came to meet me and we discussed for three hours. WE had the same relationship goals...WE ended UP with a hug goodbye...and Shy Guy freaked out. He initiated the hug. I finally told him I liked him and was not looking for sex. I think he freaked out, or I scared him by being direct. Shame, he wanted a family also... 🙄
So life is about pretense??? That you have to pretend you don't like him too much?? How does one measure " like" so that the "like" is put on a weighing scale not to like him too much!!!! And how does one measure "being on the same page"??? Huh???? Very complicated world - isn't it????
My boyfriend and I have a funny story on that topic... :D But it's a long story. Our relationship was well written or good skripted and well played we would say.
Love bombing. It’s ok if you want to give him some sparks in his life but sometimes you have to be serious about it too if you want him to love you more. He wants to see if you can handle difficulties without tearing him down. Relationship is nothing if you can’t bear the responsibility.
So over the games, just like want it to naturally work ya know. For a woman If you show interest it’s not good , If you don’t it’s not good. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Geesh. 😒🤷🏻♀️😞
so this is a thought: why not just let others know what your goals are at the beginning? If they're not interested, oh well, you don't have to deal with all this stuff... too much "game advice" these days.
I met someone like this but he didn't leave he just pulled away and I mean pulled way way back to where I was like what the hell. Then he was I just want something lite and I told him I dont want to marry you but I like you as a person. Nothing wrong with that right but he still bugged and we don't have what we did as in the beginning. Miss that but don't know if I should give him time. There's times I feel like a doormat with a coochie attached to it. I really do care about him though. I'm considering giving someone else a chance.
Same thing happened to me. Ok, listen, I felt the pull back, so know what? I don't play that. He got chances to explain, and when he didn't, I walked girl!!! I was online looking the nxt day and boy was he mad! I wrote a goodbye text then he let me have it. He was ugly, rude mean and dismissive. Hurts my ❤️. Move on babe, it'll be fine! Remember your Worth!!!
No one in this comment section actually listened to you bro... where have the good men gone? They read these comments and canceled their plans to go out.
Good warning, Good for know it only in useful time ...not after years . Could be ONE OF many explanations refferal on his strange , unstable behavior. This is showing that he don't care for others, being deeply selfish. Meaby incapable to LOVE. But this behavior is part of his dishonestly games...
Then he won't know he has a chance with you and could disappear as well! Show interest, then watch to see if he is as well. If he runs away, good riddance. He was clearly a waste of your time and it's better to know that than to not.
This happened to me several times and I've learned from it now. Now, I choose to stay single and if ever someone comes again, I will never show interest at him that quick.
Same to me 😏
I just made this mistake! It hurts, but I'll get over it.
I think some men don't know how to handle it cuz they never had someone to love them that much
I agree with you.
No
So true! Thanks! My light and caring were too much! He never had it so good!
Possibly. However the current dating market focuses on casual relationships. Red Pill community and male date coaches teach men toxic skills.-gameplaying. "Get her to chase you" etc.
Emotionally unhealthy men love to be chased.
This plays a big role. In my experience, he doesn't understand how somebody could love him so much especially when he finds them to be attractive and a good person. He doesn't think he deserves any of it.
Which is why I try to show my feelings but not in an overwhelming way and get a bit more open or intense about it very gradually
When he pulled away, I broke it off! So there you go!
So basically these type of men are jerks or idiots. Someone who is afraid for you to express your feelings while they can express theirs ? And you should never date these kind that are not looking for the same thing you're looking for.
So dont show interest.
Sounds like players.
It's really hard to find someone these days.
@@emmaalvarez1617 agree.
Unstable idiots.
Sounds like a guy who doesn't recognize a good opportunity. Turns it down, only to circle back around later after the woman is over him. He put himself in the friend zone.
OMG. All these different mind games are exhausting and so unnecessary. Just be an adult. Good grief. 🙄🙄🙄😔😔😔
I don’t think that’s a game
Fr
Men want attention they want to know that you're interested in them the guy doesn't make any sense
The guy would either not be interested in you all ready for a serious relationship or he's a chickenshit and runs every time any girl shows interest both of those scenarios you wouldn't want as a girl anyways. But don't misconstrued that with a man that is protective to make sure he doesn't get hurt because they will just hold back but they won't stop it if it goes forward as long as things are right and you're not showing any signs of the ex that was horrible.
literally..
Than why approach women if this is going to happen in the first place.
Exxxxxxaaacccctlyyy
it could be the other way around too
What he's talking about isn't real it's like magical thing men like attention and they want to be wanted just like women
right
It is long documented that men often over-estimate how much a woman actually likes him. Been documented for YEARS. I mean over 2 decades. So, they often think we like them more than we do.
It's their ego, pure and simple.
It has to be because they want to feel appreciated but they go about it the wrong way by trying to make women feel things there not actually feeling just because she is talking to you doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date you the only reason I converse with men is for work related reasons. If I wasn't being forced to talk to them I wouldn't talk to anyone at all. Less drama that way.
Well said SKOL. 💯
100% this has happened to me a few times. Can't show too much interest to men...
Me too 🥲
But it you don't show interest then they also go away.
Me too 😮 what the hell 😂 can’t win
It's unhealthy behavior. Radical honesty is important in healthy relationships.
Men want you to be interested otherwise they're going to just stop talking to you and if you don't give them attention they're going to move on to the girl that does. You would either be showing signs of their ex that is horrible or they don't have any serious want to be committed to you they don't want anything serious with you. If you give a man attention and you show interest and he shows it back that is the guy you want if you don't show it you're getting nowhere
Yea, their go to is : fear of commitment. Then they "apologize" for whatever but never addressed how they DID lead you on.
Avoidant attachment.
This happens with either younger or older men...I don't start any interest in anyone - but mostly I find them all oppurtunistic ...that's why I am still single
Agree. Many opportunists.
Just play him at his own game. If he goes cold on u then u must go cold on him..simple act like u mite like him BUT show interest in another guy
So you have to play games all the time?
Commonly they have an avoidant attachment . Due to hookup culture there is the power of perceived choice which focuses on casual relationships. Hence why it's important to state your position at the first meeting. This will weed out the wrong men fast. Don't be afraid to lose guy.
The book 8 Dates is a helpful tool.
Common sense before-emotions
I always like someone way too much.
They alway take advantage or stay of a while and waste my time and leave.
Now I have learned it is not bad just to match their energy level or even hold back a little and create space to figure stuff out but also protect your heart. Let them figure out you are awsome.
This is so stupid, then why do they even bother to show you that they have an interest. Ugh this is frustrating. But your content is great and make sense. You tell us the truth. But I can’t handle it and want all of them to stop bothering me if they just want to waste time. Life is too short. This just to me in my opinion ( which doesn’t matter) just shows when they pull back they just wanted to use you. When they could have kept it at a friend level with no problems. But yet they want to try to test the waters and see what they can get away with, with you. Then boom you show interest then the guy ghosts. I hate this . I just don’t want to be bothered or have my time wasted.
I felt this in my soul
True, firstly they show interest and when you get attached they are like no am not in wth, simply they did all this for just fun
This happened to me on fb this guy was coming at me..i saw the love so when i reciprocated he pulled away and started ignoring me..but i did'nt waste much time because i saw it for what it was and and i realized if i had continue to push the relationship he would've used the opportunity to waste my time and play me so i pulled away too and i forgot about him..
If you show interest they go away and if you don't show interest they still go away😛🤷♀️
So basically these men are not born to be loved bcz noone can know on which page a guy is, what he wants n its impossible to know in starting of a relationship. When someone loves you without any expectations, love them back you will be blessed.
Exactly!
He came in hot and heavy in the first month and half then pulled back. I found out he found a girl who was more fun and more confident than I was.
Yeah but he settled for her out of convenience think about that she was a second option being used as a pawn to make you jealous. This is what you do next move on to an even better looking guy or just stay single and set a new goal for yourself that takes up all your time like writing music.
You have to appear like this doesn't bother you. Because if it doesn't bother you it will eventually backfire on both of them. Don't fight for him at all. Just move on its much better then wasting your youth on a guy that doesn't know what he wants from a girl anyways because if he would play head games with you he would do that with the other girl too.
So sad
I didn’t understand men before following you , i really love this coach .. thanks a lot Matthew 💕✨
Happy to hear that!
So don't show to much interest. You have to get to the point with them right away.What are you looking for? Ask questions. Are you in this for just a good time? Etc.Make sure he wants the same things as you.
Yep that’s what happened to me just here recently. He wanted to get to know me he was interested in me. One phone conversation and a good morning and a good night text. Not very interested as far as I’m concerned. So I pulled away
Its a broken generation after generation. Actual love and healthy connections are scarce in this world. We are all recycling each other’s pain, if only people would just learn to heal the right way, relationships would be heaven on earth. We are truly in the last days where the love of many are waxed cold. Love yourself and everyone who welcomes your love, no point in seeking the heart of weak and broken men. Pride is the most ugliest trait in any character.
Sometimes its because he discovered something about her that made him feel angry, upset or something like that. Then, his feelings started to disappear and then he loses the feelings for talking with her anymore and he just feel the anger.
Yes I feel women can go full steam ahead on a guy, and if your not on the same page, the guy gets his skates on, and poof 💨 he’s gone!
This was the story of my youth in meeting guys
Returning interest on or just a bit below the interest level he shows her is a healthy response. If that’s enough to make him flee, HE’s got a mental problem.
If she (or he, cuz this one goes both ways) comes on hard, then yeah- it’s not likely to be reciprocated; it’s too soon.
Save the big enthusiasms for when it’s MUTUAL! 😉
So basically just don’t like the guy.
No, just give it some time before you tell tell him how much you like him
Never tell to man first that you´re interested or pursue him. Pursuing men tells them that you like him. Let him do the work.
Those kind of guys are jerks/players and most of the time, narcissists ?!!! Why would I waste my time with such a jerk??? Huh????
Persues and leads you on... in time you show interest then says that he " went in too deep" ... and in a dodgy situation suddenly down the line out of the blue claims he has a "fear of commitment" ... That if I 'feared losing him I already lost him'... and that we should kiss other people... etc at the time I was naive and tried to understand him... but now I know there were so many red flags I could of notice despite him working hard to get me to open up and trust and suddenly just before you fully do.. boom pulls the rug and suddenly throws everything about you back at you, all moody and almost disgusted by you, and all your insecurities and pain shared sockingly triggered and flipped on you and in your confusion asking yourself what the hell happened and what can I do to fix myself...
Spends so much time with you, then when you want to know where the relationship is going then "you're not good enough and nobody will ever want you".
Makes you also feel like because you are an older person that lacks experience or knowledge in the 'bedroom department' or experience, that your not good enough and then you feel guilty you might of lost the guy you loved maybe because of this, cuz seriously isnt thats all guys seem to really want :( and not the emotional connection nowadays it seems. (Fyi he admitted to having no emotional connection to me just after being intimate! ).
And maybe I opened up too much, and thoughtless leant too much on him cuz he made me feel so comfortable in the beggining to be myself and open up, but I guess at the time what I was going through would of been too much baggage to share with anyone, but he encouraged me to, which may have later been interpreted as clingy overtime maybe, etc. All I know, all I wanted was to give my all to a guy, to see him smile, to open up and have a trusting connection, to be loved and give love, work on things together, form close and safe vulnerable and emotionally connected place, share memories together etc ... yet now I look at relationship as one big radioactive ball, best kept away from; for health and safty reasons obviously. lol :(
this is exactly what i’m looking for
I agree with this to a certain extent, he’s either interested, or he’s not, maybe in the beginning he had low interest
Ha, this explains why I freak out when they show eagerness or interest. I take time to make decisions and getting to know people. I am a woman. Loll
Girls are so freak out like that too!
I did!
Those types of people are not sure about what they want or what they are doing. How else can you show that you want someone?
What about the scenario I just experienced over the last few months, where the guy CHASED me…I wasn’t interested at first but after spending tons of time together over a couple of weeks I started to catch feelings and it felt like I was “matching” his energy…then he pulled away! Why would he do all that work to get me and when I finally let my guard down he runs off? I’m so confused 😕
because he finally caught you. the only women who get married are the ones who can convince the guy that he still hasn't caught them yet and marriage is just one more step in that direction.
@@waggawaggaful fucking games
That guy has a mental problem, a healthy guy won't behave in that way.
@@waggawaggafulthats the most toxic shit I've heard,these kinds of guys are maniacs and should be avoided,a healthy minded guy will respect your deep feelings for him and stay close to you,not run away.
The kind of guys you people are talking about sound narcissistic who just loves the chase...any sane guy would not behave that way.
Lol if they are indecisive then just DON'T PURSUE THE WOMEN! WHY MAKE SOMEONE ATTACHED WHEN YOU Aren't EVEN SURE! SOUNDS LIKE A BABY NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
WE met, hé came to meet me and we discussed for three hours. WE had the same relationship goals...WE ended UP with a hug goodbye...and Shy Guy freaked out. He initiated the hug. I finally told him I liked him and was not looking for sex. I think he freaked out, or I scared him by being direct. Shame, he wanted a family also... 🙄
So life is about pretense??? That you have to pretend you don't like him too much?? How does one measure " like" so that the "like" is put on a weighing scale not to like him too much!!!! And how does one measure "being on the same page"??? Huh???? Very complicated world - isn't it????
Yep, I made this mistake. Repeatedly.
This is happened to me right now,So sad but it's true Matthew
Ladies,
Independence is best. No compromise and you don't need to like anybody. It's not all in the guys corner. Wth
What is wrong with men!?! Why cant they just be grateful they have an amazing woman interested in them at all!
Men are pretty simple now that they are explaining themselves. But it’s just a headache to deal with
My boyfriend and I have a funny story on that topic... :D
But it's a long story.
Our relationship was well written or good skripted and well played we would say.
Women are losing interest as soon a man shows his
Thanks for the info❤️❤️❤️
Any time
Just like… children playground if you don’t chase him, he will look for you😂.
lmaaaaoooo the dating scene in LA
So, what is the solution?
Love bombing. It’s ok if you want to give him some sparks in his life but sometimes you have to be serious about it too if you want him to love you more. He wants to see if you can handle difficulties without tearing him down. Relationship is nothing if you can’t bear the responsibility.
So over the games, just like want it to naturally work ya know. For a woman If you show interest it’s not good , If you don’t it’s not good. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Geesh. 😒🤷🏻♀️😞
Or you failed him on certain thing as woman you’re strong enough not to follow him
You're talking about a playboy.
Good point
Well said, that's why i have decided my next relationship de man is going to suffer, no more giving me all no way.
so this is a thought: why not just let others know what your goals are at the beginning? If they're not interested, oh well, you don't have to deal with all this stuff... too much "game advice" these days.
Exactly. You've got it and that's the confident mature thing to do. Radical honesty.
Thanks
Welcome
How about when u find out some negative vibe😳
I met someone like this but he didn't leave he just pulled away and I mean pulled way way back to where I was like what the hell. Then he was I just want something lite and I told him I dont want to marry you but I like you as a person. Nothing wrong with that right but he still bugged and we don't have what we did as in the beginning. Miss that but don't know if I should give him time. There's times I feel like a doormat with a coochie attached to it. I really do care about him though. I'm considering giving someone else a chance.
Same thing happened to me. Ok, listen, I felt the pull back, so know what? I don't play that. He got chances to explain, and when he didn't, I walked girl!!! I was online looking the nxt day and boy was he mad! I wrote a goodbye text then he let me have it. He was ugly, rude mean and dismissive. Hurts my ❤️. Move on babe, it'll be fine! Remember your Worth!!!
@@liveinthenow3571 thank you I appreciate that and it's hard because I miss him and I love him but I'm just tired of getting hurt
Always show a man you're not afraid to lose him.
No one in this comment section actually listened to you bro... where have the good men gone? They read these comments and canceled their plans to go out.
This is ridiculous 😒
Good warning, Good for know it only in useful time ...not after years . Could be ONE OF many explanations refferal on his strange , unstable behavior. This is showing that he don't care for others, being deeply selfish. Meaby incapable to LOVE. But this behavior is part of his dishonestly games...
Why cant they just say that then?
Because he’s a narcissist and does it to everyone.
Why wouldn't he be open to me at first that he's just with me for fun 😏😏😏
Never show interest.
Then he won't know he has a chance with you and could disappear as well! Show interest, then watch to see if he is as well. If he runs away, good riddance. He was clearly a waste of your time and it's better to know that than to not.
especially if he’ or she are married with children jajaja
Stay single better all this games
Bye.... I'm initiating a monkhood soon
Then plz just don’t come back!!! Why guys come back knowing the girls have feelings for them. So selfish, immature and rude!! Jeez
Everyone here is a narcissist.
My toxic trait
Doesn’t make sense honestly
Or it means he just don't like you
Short version: it’s because, we don’t like you
:( 😞
Perhaps isn’t a real guy just playful
No you are wrong
Typical
Whats the diffrence showing intreast. Your saying nothing