But does he like me if he plays this mind game? Does he want me? Does he have any feelings? What is his purpose of confusing me and making me think about him? Does he want me seriously?
@@andreeaciobanuc404 No he doesn’t want you, he wants you to want him and to chase him, to work hard at getting him. He is a jerk, cut him loose. If a man likes you there would be no mind games or confusion.
Low value guy who knows how to play and calculates. Nothing to loose. Planty of them around, just look around. So do not cry after them. Be smarter next time and do not let yourself be played by anybody. Set boundaries, goals..and your rules. Enjoy!😁
The thing is we BOTH communicated that we wanted a relationship… and we were doing so well but out of nowhere he got distant. Swore things were fine that he was just busy or sick and the communication got bad. And now he’s ignoring me and has been ghost. I do not know what to do…
Update: turns out he got a girl pregnant in his hometown and was too scared to tell me… I found out bc of a post he made. We’re cool, but it was a pretty messed up situation. It was for the better, we don’t even agree on the same values
I agree with you on the clarification of context, however I personally prefer when the guy doesn't come up with it at first. What I enjoy in dating is the romantic side of things, the early butterflies, so if the guy mentions straight at the beginning that he is only looking for fwb I kinda lose the vibe immediately... I know this might sound like a paradox as I am either not looking for a long-term relationship myself but still, I want to keep on feeling these things ;)
Exactly. Most women want the same, but most aren't that self aware. As a woman, I want the butterflies, the buzz and high of falling in love, followed by his respect and long term friendship. I do not want marriage or commitment. I don't want lifelong domestic and reproductive slavery !! Marriage is a bad deal for women. I am not butchering my body, my finances, looks and health to spawn his progeny. I want orgasms not piv sx. I don't want to violate and damage my body. I do not want to be trapped stuck with one guy, l want to be open and free to new men and new relationships throughout my life. Etc etc what I've realized is that because men get all assets via commitment, and women get all liabilities via commitment ( childbirth pregnancy domestic child rearing etc). So subconsciously men crave commitment more as there's more in it for them. But they also think hundred times before sacrificing even a little to get all those assets. (women in contrast subconsciously fear commitment, so they prefer to make sure the man is worth their sacrifice, worth committing to, so they have less to lose and actually gain in long run if man doesn't choose her to commit...). So men take the commitment thing way more seriously than women, as they are the ones who have the most to gain from it. What men hate are women who want to enjoy the buzz of love, who love freedom and will not give men the commitment assets they desire. That's why the concept and culture of men respecting women and staying friends after a relationship ends, doesn't exist in society. The social narrative of normalizing forcing cutoff post relationship is to punish those who seek freedom and multiple new experiences in relationships, punishment for those who refuse to commit to one man and give him exclusive assets... So to overview, a man is driven by this huge benefit he is to get via commitment, so he courts seduces charms etc multiple women, seeking, analyzing, etc then ditching and discarding those who costing him too much, so he concentrates his energy and investment in the woman he most likes who is most willing to give him assets he secretly craves. This is why when a man rejects you, it is very personal. Its very intentional.
I think it's because from my experience, I think we all get to comfortable in the beginning that when the pooling away happens it just makes it so hard to reconcile how things went from point A to point B. However, know I from your videos that the beginning is mostly the guy trying to make a good impression and once he has their will be the pooling away choice down the road
Yeah this happens to me quite a lot.. I hate it lol but I'm learning to not get caught up with them. Currently in my relationship I'm having this rn.. everything was "fine" and seemed very interested in me but a month later things are hella vague and idk what to do. I'm over voicing my concern and tried of waiting for change or reaching out. If you want me you want me... that's it.
Fascinating. And spot on. I'm in my 40s and it's still true for older men I think. It's so difficult to know when you in a relationship or just dating.
What If both say at the beginning, they are looking for something serious? But after a few months, he says, he felt that I really want to have a relationship with him. That's why he wants to tell me, he doesn't want a relationship. I told him, that I only invented time in this, because I thought he wanted something serious too. Then He Said he just sees me as a friend and ist too busy. After this I Said I accept this, but because I got feelings for him, I dont want to meet anymore. He then said, he is very sorry and doesn't understand it himself. He doesnt knwo what to do. He became very emotional and I thought he was about to cry. I didnt want to see him cry so I just kissed him for the last time, said thanks for everything and left him there. I know now, that I was very needy in the last two-three dates because I realized I really like him, and because of that I lost attraction. Maybe he lost feeling there. I dont know. He must felt that pressure and wanted to end things quick. He is a good guy, so I think he only got emotional, because he was just feeling guilty, for hurting me. So you are saying - he never liked me that much from the beginning, when he feels pressure? I already lost hope and I will not wait for him. I will date other people. But I thought about, If I walk away, man will realize they made a mistake. And maybe feel attracted to you again, if they had feelings for you. Of course, I would only take him back, If he would fight for me and wants to commit. Not for something less.
This guy pulled away from me because he was doing more of the effort with calling and texting. It’s only been 2 1/2weeks and we were getting to know each other although we both communicated we like each other and interested in each other. We both want relationships. He told me that I wouldn’t work for him because he wants me to do more of the communicating first and it’s long distance. The kicker is I told him I can and he was like naw don’t do it now because it’s not genuine and it won’t be genuine 🤦🏽♀️💀 So now I feel like there’s nothing I can do.
I never experienced this before. He was all in on the texting we never got to go out once before he started flaking. Texting again then no actual meet up. I'm like wtf I blocked him I hope this isn't normal because I just started dating again and this was weird af....
My god, this happened to me recently as well and he was the one who was initiating all the communication and messaged me first. I think it's weird as fuck too and see him as weak now. No meet-up almost 6 months later after he first started following me on Instagram. I'm never talking to this mug again.
I'm not looking for anything serious unless I have interest in THAT guy ! Otw I am open to being happy single. At some point if we are not progressing clearly a relationship is never happening.
Just found your channel. I'm dealing with a guy doing all this goofy stuff and instead of blowing up and telling him to get lost out of hurt, I'm keeping him around to process myself and my feelings to see if he is just avoidant or if he is toxic. Every guy I've ever liked has been like this towards me and I'm 31. I think I tolerate crumbs because I'm so hungry and have only ever had crumbs. I will say that your channel makes dating sound so dismal...like how do people ever get together- it sounds like a super rare thing. Maybe we are just damaged cursed people *he's given me consistent attention for like 4 months- initiating texting, initiating hour long convos- but when I told him I liked him he said he doesnt want to date anyone and it's not personal- he wants to 'pull his own leash'.. I wanna take him at his word and as a friend but I sometimes think about it and feel humiliated or used. I'm using him kind of as a way to grow. The anxiety isn't fun but hopefully I can improve my attachment and how I relate to myself. Staying around and keeping closeness stagnant is like getting into a hot tub- I hope even tho I wanna pull away I'll get used to it and grow and get over my abandonment issues and neediness. Maybe it'll make me more understanding too and better to read situations
I thought I could use him to grow too but I started driving myself crazy constantly checking to see if he wrote back yet or seen my message. When he finally would write back he would tell me he misses me and everything I wanted to hear than pull away again. I just couldn't take it anymore. I blocked him this morning and I am going to give all that love and attention to myself.
@@thequeenofselfcare my guy is odd because even tho I've never had a hook up, I caved and said 'ok do you wanna hook up with no strings then?' He said no and actually was offended. Men are weird
@@thequeenofselfcare I usually do that too where i leave for my sanity- but I will say these guys trigger me and when we are triggered we can see into ourselves. I'll stay as long as my infatuation lasts and as long as the experience is beneficial to me. I don't think he's a bad guy but he's got issues. I switch between black and white thinking tho and I wanna work on that
@@rowenahaps8514 yeah I actually already regret blocking him. He is so cool and fun. I know I get obsessive and crazy. It's probably my fault he backed off. But oh well. Next time. Good luck to u tho. That is a good idea.
@@thequeenofselfcare I have tons of mistakes under my belt. Just realize it's a trigger. Idk if you know about attachment styles or if this channel talks about them but you may want to look it up. It helps. We worry about being used/humiliated and then we blow up and feel bad/alone/ regret. It's a pattern with Anxious-preoccupied attachment especially when dealing with avoidants
I was pursued by a guy, he wanted a relationship I was like whatever(because I have had bad experiences right before I met him). We ended up being together for a bit and things were fine until I noticed some sus activity on his instagram and called it out. He didn’t even have a conversation with me, he just broke up.
You set the tone of "whatever" and didnt take his offer seriously. So he knew you were willing to accept scraps, which meant he didnt respect your time. So next time dont let past issues follow you into new experiences
So if after 6 mos he gives me a house key and asks me to look at a place together and then 2 days later goes cold and says he can’t do a relationship; he’s not ready. Where did I go wrong? That’s serious love bombing
I have noticed that guys often go from one extreme to the other (here, the house key to the sudden end of the relationship) when they are having doubts and/or if there's anyone else in the picture and they are feeling guilt. Hope that helps xx
Elliot, I had someone tell me they had a crush on me 12 years ago etc then we have been talking for like a week now but after I told him I liked him he kinda like rejected me by saying he was scared because he’s an “asshole” and he doesn’t want to hurt me… is he just a fuckboy or genuinely cares and knows he needs to work on himself as a person..
What about if he told you he wants a reliable and he wants to change the fact you have been on my own for quite a while then pulls away blocks you for no reason whatsoever? Thank god was mever intimate with him . Woukd have felt a whole lot worse
Elliot can you please make a vídeo about compatibility? A guy just used this excuse to explain to me why he would never be my boyfriend, because we are not compatible, and I’m so confused about what he meant by that.
@@FM-zg5hz i know that, but what could it be specifically? He said I’m beautiful and that there is nothing about me that I needed to improve, could it be that maybe he is just attracted to me physically but is not attracted on a deeper level and therefore I’m not gf material to him?
@@raquela.3483 I met an amazing man over a year ago. He was handsome, intelligent, a wealthy business owner who built his own house with enough room for a large family (i.e. he was planning for a wife and children soon). He'd never been married and was waiting for marriage (a high standard in my circles that most men who appreciate it can't even keep, so he was a serious catch because he was honoring God and keeping his purity for his wife). He loved everything about me--something I'm not used to. But, he and I weren't compatible. He had no experience with children--and I have 2 children. He always made good financial decisions (I have school loan debt). He has a fully intact family for generations---no divorces. And, he was unwilling to discuss certain things that he deemed unworthy of discussion. If a woman at work was mistreating me, he would stop me from sharing that experience by acting like it wasn't important and should just roll off my back. Anything uncomfortable or any wrong done by others, he didn't want to hear about. He called it "drama." I soon learned that he simply avoided most discomforts or pretended they didn't exist--and yes, he was used to a pampered life devoid of discomforts. So, while there were so many amazing things about this man and my life and my children's lives could have improved significantly with his finances and attentions, I did not feel that we were compatible. The man did not know hardship like I did. He had very little experience with women or children. He had yet to have his loyalty tested. He also wouldn't discuss anything controversial. He would have been the type that wouldn't have finished disagreements with me. He would have just wanted us to drop discussions instead of coming to a conclusion together. I could just sense it. Could he have grown and learned because of us? Yes. But I am not willing to endure years of his growth. I need a man more compatible. That said, no, there really is nothing wrong with the man. He is extremely kind and generous. He genuinely cared for me and my children. He's handsome and wealthy. He's a hard worker. He donates his time to a disaster rescue agency and to the local schools. He has been on mission trips overseas. He is a genuine, sincere Christian--and a real catch--but he was not for me and I was not for him. I have never had to face that scenario before. I always assumed people were lying when they spoke highly of an ex or an old prospect, but now I know it can happen because of a lack of compatibility. My advice is this: If he says there is no compatibility between you two, take him at his word and don't wonder about the details. If you two lack compatibility, it truly is not a reflection of you as a person. It is truly just about the dynamic you two have together and would have together in certain scenarios. Trust his judgment on this. Don't dwell. Be grateful for it and move on to someone else.
I was talking to guy that did that and I just block him after he interest In Me and when he comes back he still be block because I don't want here his bs 😂 and I just keep moving on 😊 🤩
We discussed at the beggining that we were looking for a relationship, he did everything, we met both families and then he said I dont think this could work out, and 4 days later he was on hinge (a friend saw him), so... What's the excuse here
@@iris916 well in the beginning he was planning his future with me and how he said he wants kids with me. We haven't even slept together so he can't be a player
it‘s bc he is married & he dont want to cheat on her with me, even he is attracted to me! :( And maybe I was a little bit to ambitious & things got serious…
Not worth it unless you’re interested in being his mother. And no man wants to have sex with his mother. It’s not your job to baby him through his emotions. If he’s unavailable, leave him alone.
You can bring the horse to the water, you can’t make a drink. Emotionally unavailable men, need to do the inner work, in order to heal and get to a healthy place where they can reciprocate. People who are trying to pry open an emotionally unavailable people/ sticking around for crumbs, usually have codependent tendencies. codependent people learn to put the needs of others ahead of their own and will sacrifice their needs and principles in order to maintain relationships. Walk away!!
@@SK-no2pp thank you for your detailed response. I was waiting around for someone that was emotionally unavailable & I can definitely admit to having co-dependent tendencies. I have been walking away if you will. It was a long distance situationship, and it's been over now unfortunately. He would talk a lot about himself, he made me feel like I wanted to nurture and love him. I understand now that he was just playing the game.
They also get disinterested if they discover that you have strong boundaries and they can't use you.
Once you speak up about their bullshit and how they treating you wrong they wanna run away
🎯
True when u confront their about their inconsistency
I noticed that most men play mind games way more than women.
Naw
Most are mediocre, insecure men who need to manipulate to keep a woman
Mind game. Just to get you confused and to think about him
But does he like me if he plays this mind game? Does he want me? Does he have any feelings? What is his purpose of confusing me and making me think about him? Does he want me seriously?
@@andreeaciobanuc404 No he doesn’t want you, he wants you to want him and to chase him, to work hard at getting him. He is a jerk, cut him loose. If a man likes you there would be no mind games or confusion.
Exactly
@@andreeaciobanuc404 he doesn't like u
Yes but hes insecure and thinks youre out of his league. He doesnt even like himself properly. @andreeaciobanuc404
It's better to wait for the right person than to waste your time with the wrong person.
💙RUclipsr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
if a guy constantly does that than that his problem and not yours!
Low value guy who knows how to play and calculates. Nothing to loose. Planty of them around, just look around. So do not cry after them.
Be smarter next time and do not let yourself be played by anybody. Set boundaries, goals..and your rules. Enjoy!😁
The thing is we BOTH communicated that we wanted a relationship… and we were doing so well but out of nowhere he got distant. Swore things were fine that he was just busy or sick and the communication got bad. And now he’s ignoring me and has been ghost. I do not know what to do…
same thing happened to me.
Update: turns out he got a girl pregnant in his hometown and was too scared to tell me… I found out bc of a post he made. We’re cool, but it was a pretty messed up situation. It was for the better, we don’t even agree on the same values
Happening right now
I agree with you on the clarification of context, however I personally prefer when the guy doesn't come up with it at first. What I enjoy in dating is the romantic side of things, the early butterflies, so if the guy mentions straight at the beginning that he is only looking for fwb I kinda lose the vibe immediately... I know this might sound like a paradox as I am either not looking for a long-term relationship myself but still, I want to keep on feeling these things ;)
Exactly. Most women want the same, but most aren't that self aware. As a woman, I want the butterflies, the buzz and high of falling in love, followed by his respect and long term friendship. I do not want marriage or commitment. I don't want lifelong domestic and reproductive slavery !! Marriage is a bad deal for women. I am not butchering my body, my finances, looks and health to spawn his progeny. I want orgasms not piv sx. I don't want to violate and damage my body. I do not want to be trapped stuck with one guy, l want to be open and free to new men and new relationships throughout my life. Etc etc
what I've realized is that because men get all assets via commitment, and women get all liabilities via commitment ( childbirth pregnancy domestic child rearing etc). So subconsciously men crave commitment more as there's more in it for them. But they also think hundred times before sacrificing even a little to get all those assets. (women in contrast subconsciously fear commitment, so they prefer to make sure the man is worth their sacrifice, worth committing to, so they have less to lose and actually gain in long run if man doesn't choose her to commit...). So men take the commitment thing way more seriously than women, as they are the ones who have the most to gain from it.
What men hate are women who want to enjoy the buzz of love, who love freedom and will not give men the commitment assets they desire. That's why the concept and culture of men respecting women and staying friends after a relationship ends, doesn't exist in society.
The social narrative of normalizing forcing cutoff post relationship is to punish those who seek freedom and multiple new experiences in relationships, punishment for those who refuse to commit to one man and give him exclusive assets...
So to overview, a man is driven by this huge benefit he is to get via commitment, so he courts seduces charms etc multiple women, seeking, analyzing, etc then ditching and discarding those who costing him too much, so he concentrates his energy and investment in the woman he most likes who is most willing to give him assets he secretly craves. This is why when a man rejects you, it is very personal. Its very intentional.
I think it's because from my experience, I think we all get to comfortable in the beginning that when the pooling away happens it just makes it so hard to reconcile how things went from point A to point B. However, know I from your videos that the beginning is mostly the guy trying to make a good impression and once he has their will be the pooling away choice down the road
Well put!
I’m curious whether the videos are filmed at the same time every day or if the clock just isn’t working….
I think it's the clock
😆 funny funny
Lol
Lmao
His clock has been broken forever 😂 he’s mentioned it in a video before so he knows.
Yeah this happens to me quite a lot.. I hate it lol but I'm learning to not get caught up with them. Currently in my relationship I'm having this rn.. everything was "fine" and seemed very interested in me but a month later things are hella vague and idk what to do. I'm over voicing my concern and tried of waiting for change or reaching out. If you want me you want me... that's it.
Fascinating. And spot on. I'm in my 40s and it's still true for older men I think. It's so difficult to know when you in a relationship or just dating.
@Mike Zara go away
What If both say at the beginning, they are looking for something serious? But after a few months, he says, he felt that I really want to have a relationship with him. That's why he wants to tell me, he doesn't want a relationship. I told him, that I only invented time in this, because I thought he wanted something serious too. Then He Said he just sees me as a friend and ist too busy.
After this I Said I accept this, but because I got feelings for him, I dont want to meet anymore. He then said, he is very sorry and doesn't understand it himself. He doesnt knwo what to do. He became very emotional and I thought he was about to cry. I didnt want to see him cry so I just kissed him for the last time, said thanks for everything and left him there.
I know now, that I was very needy in the last two-three dates because I realized I really like him, and because of that I lost attraction. Maybe he lost feeling there. I dont know. He must felt that pressure and wanted to end things quick. He is a good guy, so I think he only got emotional, because he was just feeling guilty, for hurting me.
So you are saying - he never liked me that much from the beginning, when he feels pressure?
I already lost hope and I will not wait for him. I will date other people. But I thought about, If I walk away, man will realize they made a mistake. And maybe feel attracted to you again, if they had feelings for you. Of course, I would only take him back, If he would fight for me and wants to commit. Not for something less.
This guy pulled away from me because he was doing more of the effort with calling and texting. It’s only been 2 1/2weeks and we were getting to know each other although we both communicated we like each other and interested in each other. We both want relationships. He told me that I wouldn’t work for him because he wants me to do more of the communicating first and it’s long distance. The kicker is I told him I can and he was like naw don’t do it now because it’s not genuine and it won’t be genuine 🤦🏽♀️💀 So now I feel like there’s nothing I can do.
He was gaslighting you, he wants to know you will chase him forever
nope done.
@@enjolique367exactly
I never experienced this before. He was all in on the texting we never got to go out once before he started flaking. Texting again then no actual meet up. I'm like wtf I blocked him I hope this isn't normal because I just started dating again and this was weird af....
From your teaching's I was about to have a conversation about it but na not worth wasting anymore time.
My god, this happened to me recently as well and he was the one who was initiating all the communication and messaged me first. I think it's weird as fuck too and see him as weak now. No meet-up almost 6 months later after he first started following me on Instagram. I'm never talking to this mug again.
@@miami7446we must have met the same guy. He’s in Miami too! Lol
I'm not looking for anything serious unless I have interest in THAT guy ! Otw I am open to being happy single. At some point if we are not progressing clearly a relationship is never happening.
Just found your channel. I'm dealing with a guy doing all this goofy stuff and instead of blowing up and telling him to get lost out of hurt, I'm keeping him around to process myself and my feelings to see if he is just avoidant or if he is toxic. Every guy I've ever liked has been like this towards me and I'm 31. I think I tolerate crumbs because I'm so hungry and have only ever had crumbs. I will say that your channel makes dating sound so dismal...like how do people ever get together- it sounds like a super rare thing. Maybe we are just damaged cursed people
*he's given me consistent attention for like 4 months- initiating texting, initiating hour long convos- but when I told him I liked him he said he doesnt want to date anyone and it's not personal- he wants to 'pull his own leash'.. I wanna take him at his word and as a friend but I sometimes think about it and feel humiliated or used. I'm using him kind of as a way to grow. The anxiety isn't fun but hopefully I can improve my attachment and how I relate to myself. Staying around and keeping closeness stagnant is like getting into a hot tub- I hope even tho I wanna pull away I'll get used to it and grow and get over my abandonment issues and neediness. Maybe it'll make me more understanding too and better to read situations
I thought I could use him to grow too but I started driving myself crazy constantly checking to see if he wrote back yet or seen my message. When he finally would write back he would tell me he misses me and everything I wanted to hear than pull away again. I just couldn't take it anymore. I blocked him this morning and I am going to give all that love and attention to myself.
@@thequeenofselfcare my guy is odd because even tho I've never had a hook up, I caved and said 'ok do you wanna hook up with no strings then?' He said no and actually was offended. Men are weird
@@thequeenofselfcare I usually do that too where i leave for my sanity- but I will say these guys trigger me and when we are triggered we can see into ourselves. I'll stay as long as my infatuation lasts and as long as the experience is beneficial to me. I don't think he's a bad guy but he's got issues. I switch between black and white thinking tho and I wanna work on that
@@rowenahaps8514 yeah I actually already regret blocking him. He is so cool and fun. I know I get obsessive and crazy. It's probably my fault he backed off. But oh well. Next time. Good luck to u tho. That is a good idea.
@@thequeenofselfcare I have tons of mistakes under my belt. Just realize it's a trigger. Idk if you know about attachment styles or if this channel talks about them but you may want to look it up. It helps. We worry about being used/humiliated and then we blow up and feel bad/alone/ regret. It's a pattern with Anxious-preoccupied attachment especially when dealing with avoidants
I was pursued by a guy, he wanted a relationship I was like whatever(because I have had bad experiences right before I met him). We ended up being together for a bit and things were fine until I noticed some sus activity on his instagram and called it out. He didn’t even have a conversation with me, he just broke up.
You set the tone of "whatever" and didnt take his offer seriously. So he knew you were willing to accept scraps, which meant he didnt respect your time. So next time dont let past issues follow you into new experiences
We love your materials Elliott
aka every guy.
Wish I knew this in April! Thanks Elliot!
Excellent break down!
So if after 6 mos he gives me a house key and asks me to look at a place together and then 2 days later goes cold and says he can’t do a relationship; he’s not ready. Where did I go wrong? That’s serious love bombing
I have noticed that guys often go from one extreme to the other (here, the house key to the sudden end of the relationship) when they are having doubts and/or if there's anyone else in the picture and they are feeling guilt. Hope that helps xx
Sadly, this is common. They easily lose feelings at the drop of a dime.
99.9% of men need a therapist.
Sex is NOT everything …..there has to be more than that ……
Good Wednesday Afternoon, Elliot
Thank you for the video
Elliot, I had someone tell me they had a crush on me 12 years ago etc then we have been talking for like a week now but after I told him I liked him he kinda like rejected me by saying he was scared because he’s an “asshole” and he doesn’t want to hurt me… is he just a fuckboy or genuinely cares and knows he needs to work on himself as a person..
What about if he told you he wants a reliable and he wants to change the fact you have been on my own for quite a while then pulls away blocks you for no reason whatsoever? Thank god was mever intimate with him . Woukd have felt a whole lot worse
Elliot can you please make a vídeo about compatibility? A guy just used this excuse to explain to me why he would never be my boyfriend, because we are not compatible, and I’m so confused about what he meant by that.
It means he doesn’t see you as the girl he wants to be with. There are dealbreakers he’s not willing to accept.
@@FM-zg5hz i know that, but what could it be specifically? He said I’m beautiful and that there is nothing about me that I needed to improve, could it be that maybe he is just attracted to me physically but is not attracted on a deeper level and therefore I’m not gf material to him?
@@raquela.3483 I met an amazing man over a year ago. He was handsome, intelligent, a wealthy business owner who built his own house with enough room for a large family (i.e. he was planning for a wife and children soon). He'd never been married and was waiting for marriage (a high standard in my circles that most men who appreciate it can't even keep, so he was a serious catch because he was honoring God and keeping his purity for his wife). He loved everything about me--something I'm not used to. But, he and I weren't compatible. He had no experience with children--and I have 2 children. He always made good financial decisions (I have school loan debt). He has a fully intact family for generations---no divorces. And, he was unwilling to discuss certain things that he deemed unworthy of discussion. If a woman at work was mistreating me, he would stop me from sharing that experience by acting like it wasn't important and should just roll off my back. Anything uncomfortable or any wrong done by others, he didn't want to hear about. He called it "drama." I soon learned that he simply avoided most discomforts or pretended they didn't exist--and yes, he was used to a pampered life devoid of discomforts. So, while there were so many amazing things about this man and my life and my children's lives could have improved significantly with his finances and attentions, I did not feel that we were compatible. The man did not know hardship like I did. He had very little experience with women or children. He had yet to have his loyalty tested. He also wouldn't discuss anything controversial. He would have been the type that wouldn't have finished disagreements with me. He would have just wanted us to drop discussions instead of coming to a conclusion together. I could just sense it. Could he have grown and learned because of us? Yes. But I am not willing to endure years of his growth. I need a man more compatible. That said, no, there really is nothing wrong with the man. He is extremely kind and generous. He genuinely cared for me and my children. He's handsome and wealthy. He's a hard worker. He donates his time to a disaster rescue agency and to the local schools. He has been on mission trips overseas. He is a genuine, sincere Christian--and a real catch--but he was not for me and I was not for him.
I have never had to face that scenario before. I always assumed people were lying when they spoke highly of an ex or an old prospect, but now I know it can happen because of a lack of compatibility. My advice is this: If he says there is no compatibility between you two, take him at his word and don't wonder about the details. If you two lack compatibility, it truly is not a reflection of you as a person. It is truly just about the dynamic you two have together and would have together in certain scenarios. Trust his judgment on this. Don't dwell. Be grateful for it and move on to someone else.
@@TheDemsk Thank you for this ☺️
@@raquela.3483 I hope it helps. ❤
I was talking to guy that did that and I just block him after he interest In Me and when he comes back he still be block because I don't want here his bs 😂 and I just keep moving on 😊 🤩
We discussed at the beggining that we were looking for a relationship, he did everything, we met both families and then he said I dont think this could work out, and 4 days later he was on hinge (a friend saw him), so... What's the excuse here
It could be his family, they didn’t like you. But it’s not your fault.
He's avoidant
Well what if your better looking than the guy? It can't be lack of attraction all the time. Could he be insecure?
He could have issues like emotionally unavailability, traumas, he could just be a player
@@iris916 well in the beginning he was planning his future with me and how he said he wants kids with me. We haven't even slept together so he can't be a player
He could be scared you'll cheat on him with other men etc
@@ashsqx3246 I told him I'm a 1 guy girl. That I was married for 7 years. He thinks I'm some sort of player when he has no proof. It's ridiculous.
@@nuliferdogan3339 he sounds brainwashed by incel manosphere redpill Instagram accounts. Almost 99% of men are.
it‘s bc he is married & he dont want to cheat on her with me, even he is attracted to me! :( And maybe I was a little bit to ambitious & things got serious…
Gross. Leave married men alone.
Thank you
Nice
Hi Elliot
can you make a video on an emotional unavailable man & how to get him to open up
Not worth it unless you’re interested in being his mother. And no man wants to have sex with his mother. It’s not your job to baby him through his emotions. If he’s unavailable, leave him alone.
You can bring the horse to the water, you can’t make a drink. Emotionally unavailable men, need to do the inner work, in order to heal and get to a healthy place where they can reciprocate. People who are trying to pry open an emotionally unavailable people/ sticking around for crumbs, usually have codependent tendencies. codependent people learn to put the needs of others ahead of their own and will sacrifice their needs and principles in order to maintain relationships. Walk away!!
@@SK-no2pp thank you for your detailed response. I was waiting around for someone that was emotionally unavailable & I can definitely admit to having co-dependent tendencies. I have been walking away if you will. It was a long distance situationship, and it's been over now unfortunately. He would talk a lot about himself, he made me feel like I wanted to nurture and love him. I understand now that he was just playing the game.
@@SummerLovesGlitter left LDR last year. Crazy communication told me he future faked me.
I'll tell you exactly what happened...she couldn't match my effort end of.
Totally lack of attraction but women refuse believe and maybe never had someone really like them before to KNOW the real from the fake.
I don't want a relationship, I just want sex. LOL. I thought they were the same.........NOT in his eyes!
i swearrrrrr.
👍😉