THIS is so important, sometimes difficult to do but absolutely necessary - also to keep our own peace. We are the protagonists of our lives and no romantic interest should change that ✨
Whenever I feel like I'm loosing my mind, my peace, even my breath for somebody; I come to you Susan, not to my friends, not to my mom, but to you. Somehow you listen and love all of us. Your words come to me like a hug from a friend, and the wise warm words of a mom. Thank you
It’s good advice. It’s so hard when you’ve never been in a relationship before. You just want the companionship. It’s hard to focus and not think of them 24/7. Especially when they show attention and interest. I’ve never had that so it’s nice to receive.
I am there right now and completely understand what you said..... I hope you're doing okay! Thanks for that comment, at least I'm not the only one who is feeling that way.
Thank you Susan. It is true. Sometimes we lose ourselves when we focus on the other person so much. The journey to find oneself is a noble one but when we lose ourself within a new relationship it becomes a whole new discoveey again. We put others on that pedestall in hope they bring us what we desire. But now i see it is only ourself that can do that for us. We give others the water to fill our center but without realising we sometimes give those that do bear the water too much power. It affects our flow. The natural flow is to fill the water ourself. We know how much we need and want. Thank you Is
This is so true, my partner broke up with me because I was too obsessed and I didn't think about myself, after that relationship I understood that I lost myself in a relationship now I'm focusing on my goals)
This is interesting because you would think that someone would lose interest for reasons that are the complete opposite. In a weird way this does make sense and is definitely something to keep in mind.
So true! Love this! I've done this before, lost myself and didn't focus on my life. I've made this mistake again and again and finally I'm taking steps to remedy this. Not perfect, but it's getting better and you are right...there is magic on focusing on your own life. Thank you for the reminder, Susan! I love you!
Brilliant post, thank you so much! This started happening recently and I started focusing on myself simply from intuition and doing what I felt was healthy for me. It actually worked in terms of him and I. Thank you for explaining it and giving me language around the topic.
Thank you Susan, this is a phenomena in its self as I know lots of our audience here will agree, your videos come through divine timing. ✨️ I have completely lost myself to a colleague I work with. Been perusing them for nearly a year, I have my answer, they're not interested. However, I have slightly experienced this strange phenomena of detaching myself from that said person and what do you know, they pay a bit more attention to me. This has happened a few times now, not in full swing, but enough for me to pick up on this. It could well be because they miss all that attention I was giving them all the time, which I learnt through your helpful video before. So big thank you Susan, for always helping us and guiding us and much love from London. 🇬🇧💜 x
People subconsciously sense detachment. Ever break up with someone and finally you stop thinking about them and BAM, they call you. We are all energetically linked, so even if someone is not interested the loss of your interest is sensed and curiosity it peaked. It’s not always the primal ‘chase.’ It’s the energetic shift.
My situation was the opposite I did see my friends and went places with friends and reletives. He lost interest because I paid too much time and attention on myself
Carol, you kept your individuality and he wanted more investment from you. In the end, you chose where to place your time and energy. And you can't give up your personal life nor can you give up your family and friends. I think if the situation has been different and your attraction to him greater, you might have brought him with you to some of these places. Either way it all sounds good. Thanks for your input
Men like the chase, but if you start showing too much interest in them, and not enough in yourself, it starts to make you look like less of a challenge. It's weird how that works.
He lost interest because he was seeing another woman who has a bf and the poor man works abroad..that completely disgusted me and I walked away. I could finally let him go because I only found out recently..I feel so dumb and wasted all those emotions while he was lying next to someone else. 💔 I want a healthy man. I will wait for him ❤
But he was on heavy in the beginning then you become heavy a month or so later in it bc of his actions and words then he pulls away bc you show the same thing he did in the beginning?
@@SusanWinter I think I am. I think I may have pushed a little bit more than I should have but that's only because the reasons I was given were clearly just excuses. It was done over text messaging and I was told she would want to try again when she felt balanced. She got mad when I overlooked that and said the answer is now no. Texting can be easily overlooked or overanalyzed. Anxiety takes over but she didn't care. She broke it off. I regret pushing like that but my intentions were good even if they came across as bad.
Thank you for this video Ms Susan. Truly appreciate your help and support. I feel like this video was meant for me, this was something I needed to hear. Thank you Thank you Thank you. You described the whole situation I'm in, to a T. I'm rediscovering my worth and value now because of how this situation went down.
Hi there, Josiah! Realizing you are more valuable than you give yourself credit for is the first step. And it looks like you’ve taken it. You got this!
Susan, if you are saying something it must be it!! That's how blindly I trust you. But I have a question? What's love if you are minding your own business and focusing on your self? Are we not supposed to be thinking of someone we love. Since when did that start becoming unattractive? I'd love it if someone was thinking about me. I don't understand. 😢
I believe it was the thrill of the chase. They were probably never fully interested in the first place cause if they were you just wouldn’t lose interest but would want more. The chase can be short lived and after that if your not 100% you go chase another, it’s a sad truth
What to do now if he already broke up with me because of this one month ago. We were together for one month and he completly lost interest I was like a stranger for him, but in the begenning he was so obsessed with me. After break up I didnt talk with him anymore and unfollowed him.
Wow this is happening to me right now and I came across this video you just posted this week! Question: for how long should I give him space to figure out what he wants and after then just let it go? We have been dating for a couple of months. I have seen a lot of your video's and you always bring clarity. Thanks and keep up the good work😀
Hello Susan, What's the difference between this situation and Hot n Cold? I'm exactly in this situation. In Hot n Cold when Universe gives this test and if you fails than you are back on that shelf but here if i accept them back they may become part of my life again. How to differentiate this?
What if your SP is a fearful avoidant person, open, honest, but when too close, he runs away even if you know he has a lot of feelings, not a player. How to handle this ? :)
So you're saying that my date should focus on herself to keep me ? that doesn't keep my interest, thats the quickest way of losing me......How does that help a relationship ? A relationship should be sharing both your lives.
love is honestly just a funny game these days.When you chase someone they run away and when you stop chasing they come to chase...Because people always most interested in things or person that are not yet theirs.Once they feel that they have got you one hundred percent they turn away to chase next target....
I’m going through this now with a “friend” where I feel the distance and no text response. To summarize the texts, I complimented him and have a request from him. Anyway, is it advisable to communicate with him that “I realize I may have been too much and should stop and give you space.”?
See above. There's no email address on the site. I get flooded on every social media portal - but we have a video request section where you can write on the contact page
Thank you, Susan 💗 Would you say this happens mainly when that person we're dating has a good enough amount of avoidant attachment style? I find it hard to imagine a secure person getting spooked off, unless that is, we're behaving in a super needy and desperate way.
It could be. Or it could be that they are triggered by something that reminds them of a negative past situation. It’s hard to determine without context but the important thing to remember is your importance and boundaries
This is a two way street..you start to lose interest for whatever reason..the other person started to lose interest because of the reason you created..simple as that..
THIS is so important, sometimes difficult to do but absolutely necessary - also to keep our own peace. We are the protagonists of our lives and no romantic interest should change that ✨
I completely agree. Thanks for sharing this, ET
Whenever I feel like I'm loosing my mind, my peace, even my breath for somebody; I come to you Susan, not to my friends, not to my mom, but to you. Somehow you listen and love all of us. Your words come to me like a hug from a friend, and the wise warm words of a mom. Thank you
Never put your life on hold for anyone. Susan is right. Focus on yourself first.
You always hit it on the nail Ms. Winter. This is exactly what happened in my last relationship. I started to resent him because I was losing myself.
That is such a great comment. Isn't it funny how we begin resending them? Then the real stinger is that we realize it was us. Much appreciated, AC D
@@SusanWinter Yes it was me. Thank you
It’s good advice. It’s so hard when you’ve never been in a relationship before. You just want the companionship. It’s hard to focus and not think of them 24/7. Especially when they show attention and interest. I’ve never had that so it’s nice to receive.
I am there right now and completely understand what you said..... I hope you're doing okay! Thanks for that comment, at least I'm not the only one who is feeling that way.
Thank you Susan. It is true. Sometimes we lose ourselves when we focus on the other person so much. The journey to find oneself is a noble one but when we lose ourself within a new relationship it becomes a whole new discoveey again. We put others on that pedestall in hope they bring us what we desire. But now i see it is only ourself that can do that for us. We give others the water to fill our center but without realising we sometimes give those that do bear the water too much power. It affects our flow. The natural flow is to fill the water ourself. We know how much we need and want. Thank you
Is
This is so true, my partner broke up with me because I was too obsessed and I didn't think about myself, after that relationship I understood that I lost myself in a relationship now I'm focusing on my goals)
Hi Anna! I’m glad to hear that you are prioritizing yourself! You deserve all the love you give another person!
This is interesting because you would think that someone would lose interest for reasons that are the complete opposite. In a weird way this does make sense and is definitely something to keep in mind.
Thanks for your share.
yep, I would lose interest if your not focused on me....
@@greg33770 So would I, so I am not the only one! 😂😂
100% agree. This is exactly what happened to me in my last relationship.
Thanks JB
😭… I’m much better than this now. I became better after avoiding dating for awhile and just focusing on myself. CHEERS.
Such a great philosophy Susan, thank you. Although when emotionally involved, this is very difficult in practice. But I agree completely!
Thanks R Fergus
Susan, I just want to say that you have been a very good friend of mine when I was going through a break up. Thank you for what you do
Raluca, it warms my heart to hear that! Please trust that the universe has wonderful things in store for you!
So true! Love this! I've done this before, lost myself and didn't focus on my life. I've made this mistake again and again and finally I'm taking steps to remedy this. Not perfect, but it's getting better and you are right...there is magic on focusing on your own life. Thank you for the reminder, Susan! I love you!
Susan, I really want to tell you that aside from your precious advice and wisdom I think your voice is so soothing and calming
thank you!! from your 'cool Aunt Susan!!'
@@SusanWinter 🥰❤💖
I know exactly why I lost my last love interest. I was going way to slow. Period.
Yes, i totally agree. After i changed my focus back onto me, he found his interest again :) thank you for reminding me, Susan!
Brilliant post, thank you so much! This started happening recently and I started focusing on myself simply from intuition and doing what I felt was healthy for me. It actually worked in terms of him and I. Thank you for explaining it and giving me language around the topic.
That’s wonderful, Andrea! Putting yourself first is never a bad decision!
Your methodology is scientific & simultaneously empathic and this mixture uneasy to be founded, now I know why u get the best Author thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Susan, this is a phenomena in its self as I know lots of our audience here will agree, your videos come through divine timing. ✨️ I have completely lost myself to a colleague I work with. Been perusing them for nearly a year, I have my answer, they're not interested. However, I have slightly experienced this strange phenomena of detaching myself from that said person and what do you know, they pay a bit more attention to me. This has happened a few times now, not in full swing, but enough for me to pick up on this. It could well be because they miss all that attention I was giving them all the time, which I learnt through your helpful video before. So big thank you Susan, for always helping us and guiding us and much love from London. 🇬🇧💜 x
People subconsciously sense detachment. Ever break up with someone and finally you stop thinking about them and BAM, they call you. We are all energetically linked, so even if someone is not interested the loss of your interest is sensed and curiosity it peaked. It’s not always the primal ‘chase.’ It’s the energetic shift.
My situation was the opposite I did see my friends and went places with friends and reletives. He lost interest because I paid too much time and attention on myself
You just can't win
Carol, you kept your individuality and he wanted more investment from you. In the end, you chose where to place your time and energy. And you can't give up your personal life nor can you give up your family and friends. I think if the situation has been different and your attraction to him greater, you might have brought him with you to some of these places. Either way it all sounds good. Thanks for your input
Yes. Self LOVE is the key.
💯 it all starts there
Men like the chase, but if you start showing too much interest in them, and not enough in yourself, it starts to make you look like less of a challenge. It's weird how that works.
You are the best Susan! You help people so much with your insight! Thank you for being so easy to listen too.
You’re absolutely lovely! Thank you for such nice words!
Right on the money
Wish I could tell you more.
Thank you.
Hi Tony. Thanks for your comment.
Susan, you're an angel. Thank you for another wonderful gift of your perspective. Bless you
Oh James, thank you!! Made me smile as I'm sitting here at my computer. Much appreciated
That's interesting I think I've been putting to much of myself in the other person even neglecting some of my hobbies like working out.
He lost interest because he was seeing another woman who has a bf and the poor man works abroad..that completely disgusted me and I walked away. I could finally let him go because I only found out recently..I feel so dumb and wasted all those emotions while he was lying next to someone else. 💔 I want a healthy man. I will wait for him ❤
Sorry for your experience Didi.
Yes you deserve a MAN
But he was on heavy in the beginning then you become heavy a month or so later in it bc of his actions and words then he pulls away bc you show the same thing he did in the beginning?
Susan you are a bless for the world thank you for sharing your knowledge and tips absolutely game changing
Well I’ll be damned. You spoke volumes to me with this video. So glad I just found one of your other videos. You speak truth 🙏🏼
It happened. And then sometimes they come back. I just tell myself the behavior was not coming from me. They broke it off. Not me.
You can only control your own behavior. It sounds like you are on the right path
@@SusanWinter I think I am. I think I may have pushed a little bit more than I should have but that's only because the reasons I was given were clearly just excuses. It was done over text messaging and I was told she would want to try again when she felt balanced. She got mad when I overlooked that and said the answer is now no. Texting can be easily overlooked or overanalyzed. Anxiety takes over but she didn't care. She broke it off. I regret pushing like that but my intentions were good even if they came across as bad.
Your freaking awesome, I love you Susan!
Its hard coming back from losing a child, I absolutely lost myself. I'm trying to save my marriage but its so hard.
I am so sorry. The hardest thing to go through.
Absolutely true! Keep on loving yourself
Makes ALL the sense in the world.
🥰
Thank you so so much again lady.
This resonates with where I am right now.
💓
This is 💯 me what you are describing here, I'm working on this, starting today. Thanks for the video!and God bless!
I wish you the best of luck Katie! You for this!
Thank you for this video Ms Susan. Truly appreciate your help and support. I feel like this video was meant for me, this was something I needed to hear. Thank you Thank you Thank you. You described the whole situation I'm in, to a T. I'm rediscovering my worth and value now because of how this situation went down.
Hi there, Josiah! Realizing you are more valuable than you give yourself credit for is the first step. And it looks like you’ve taken it. You got this!
@@SusanWinter Thank you, I'm having my ups and downs with it, but your words are more motivation to help keep me going. 😎
Susan, if you are saying something it must be it!! That's how blindly I trust you. But I have a question? What's love if you are minding your own business and focusing on your self? Are we not supposed to be thinking of someone we love. Since when did that start becoming unattractive? I'd love it if someone was thinking about me. I don't understand. 😢
Amazing well said!
I believe it was the thrill of the chase. They were probably never fully interested in the first place cause if they were you just wouldn’t lose interest but would want more. The chase can be short lived and after that if your not 100% you go chase another, it’s a sad truth
Really needed this!
Happy to see this, RR
Sussan you are an Angel!
Hugs to you!
Great advice
Thank you Susan ! 🙏 Greetings from Bucharest, Romania.
AH!! Been there and loved it!
A good reminder. Thanks
ALEX!!!!!! GREAT TO HEAR FROM YOU. Wishing you well
What to do now if he already broke up with me because of this one month ago. We were together for one month and he completly lost interest I was like a stranger for him, but in the begenning he was so obsessed with me. After break up I didnt talk with him anymore and unfollowed him.
You are just gorgeous !
thanku for this. x
what if you started focusing on yourself and the result was the disconnect from your signifiant other? does that mean it’s time to leave?
Good video
BRILLIANT!! 🙏
Thank you for watching!
Thanks - thats Definitely one of the reasons…….
Hi Lisa, and thanks
Thank u susan❤❤❤❤❤
Wow this is happening to me right now and I came across this video you just posted this week! Question: for how long should I give him space to figure out what he wants and after then just let it go? We have been dating for a couple of months. I have seen a lot of your video's and you always bring clarity. Thanks and keep up the good work😀
100% agree✨
Hello Susan, What's the difference between this situation and Hot n Cold? I'm exactly in this situation. In Hot n Cold when Universe gives this test and if you fails than you are back on that shelf but here if i accept them back they may become part of my life again. How to differentiate this?
thank you
You’re very welcome!
I mean the person pulling away can always speak to the other person to help re center it would be great.
yes
That shirt !
Hope you like it! It’s one of my favs!
What if your SP is a fearful avoidant person, open, honest, but when too close, he runs away even if you know he has a lot of feelings, not a player. How to handle this ? :)
So you're saying that my date should focus on herself to keep me ? that doesn't keep my interest, thats the quickest way of losing me......How does that help a relationship ? A relationship should be sharing both your lives.
She means that one shouldn’t completely dissolve in another partner. You need to have your own life too.
Greg, you missed the message. You (Greg) shouldn't lose your identity when you love and neither should your mate. Interdependence, not codependence
@@nataliadtut Thanks Natalia. yes, that's exactly what I meant
love is honestly just a funny game these days.When you chase someone they run away and when you stop chasing they come to chase...Because people always most interested in things or person that are not yet theirs.Once they feel that they have got you one hundred percent they turn away to chase next target....
I’m going through this now with a “friend” where I feel the distance and no text response. To summarize the texts, I complimented him and have a request from him. Anyway, is it advisable to communicate with him that “I realize I may have been too much and should stop and give you space.”?
Yes, this is a friend. So therefore you need to speak up and address any concerns you both have
Why? Because they think the grass is greener in the other side. I learned don't take it personal, I know it hurts, they probably were not honest
@Maureen Wicks Sofia The person is deceased...might be kind of hard to renew vows....
It's not important. He is not the Cats Meow
respect
What is you website?
See above. There's no email address on the site. I get flooded on every social media portal - but we have a video request section where you can write on the contact page
@@SusanWinter
Thank you. Will do. You did help me.
I need more. I will contact you.
Thank you, Susan 💗
Would you say this happens mainly when that person we're dating has a good enough amount of avoidant attachment style? I find it hard to imagine a secure person getting spooked off, unless that is, we're behaving in a super needy and desperate way.
It could be. Or it could be that they are triggered by something that reminds them of a negative past situation. It’s hard to determine without context but the important thing to remember is your importance and boundaries
@@SusanWinter Thank you 💗💕💗🙏
@@stillfire84 You're welcome
Most of it Is ego because once they know they could have you that's it they achieved their goa,l they got their ego boost they wanted so that's it.
100% he left completely!
🤗 now you have time to find the right person
How can I get a hold of you?
Website? Email?
Hi Tony. www.susanwinter.net
I fell into a depression and he dumped me.
Because I love her, and she never shows,
💯
I ghost these kind of men(people), am I bad for doing so? 😅
♥️♥️♥️
In my opinion girls giving it up too soon, lose guys. Another notch in the belt and see ya later.
This is a two way street..you start to lose interest for whatever reason..the other person started to lose interest because of the reason you created..simple as that..