They can’t be with you (but won’t let you go)
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
- Your ex has been in contact. They say they miss you and want you. BUT… they can’t be with you due to their circumstances. What’s going on?
Pretty writes, “Hi Susan, thank you for your videos! You have been my life saver lately! My ex-bf and I dated only for 2 months but we had a very strong connection. He broke up with me because his parents wanted to choose a girl for him who belonged to their community (It's an Indian thing). He is engaged but still texts/calls me to say he thinks about me and loves me. I can't move on. :(“
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Block, delete, ignore ! Protect ur peace !
🙏
Wise advice…. In pretty’s case, best to cut off ties & go “No Contact”. 🥰
I agree. Thanks for your input.
He helped me over a spiritual warfare,which I've been battling with over years,but thanks to him I'm healed and free
*w-asap him if you need his help⏬*
Susan, you are so good at breaking down complex situations into comprehensible pieces. You are so sensible. Love your work! Thank you thank you!
How sweet of you to say, Sherri! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I feel like when people talk about boundaries, what's usually explicit is the logistical aspects of keeping a boundary. "Don't have them waste your time. Don't give them the time of day..." Yes, there's truth here, but even more is the emotional aspect of keeping boundaries. I like what you said, Susan. "They don't have a right..." Somebody being a leech of our emotional energy and hopefulness is more toxic and stinging than however many hours, days, months...they end up gobbling up as they lead us on.
So having a pretend, role play relationship on email is not cool? That what your jiving at?
Men who marry, to women they do not love, because of cultural norms often have no qualms about cheating on their spouses, so he may be bothering her for years to come. Your advice to the woman is spot-on. This man has little respect for her, and he is willing to hurt her by continuing to contact her. He has even less respect for his future spouse, and sadly she is marrying him for cultural norm reasons, too.
This one is so interesting and you're once again on spiritual timing
I happy to read this, sizzler. Hope it helps you.
Am 100% sure he's prepping her to be the side piece.She should go no contact and find someone who appreciates her. Don't fall for his emotional drama and victim playing, he is getting his community's approval and probably a hefty sum as dowry.
Also, the sad part is there is a chance he knew this from the beginning. Indian men date outside their community and future fake knowing very well it wouldn't end up in marriage and they don't care.
I 100% agree with you. If he's already made the decision that he's going to marry this other woman there's no reason for him to be bothering Priti. Let that woman live her life. If she continues to engage him she's going to find herself in a painful love triangle as his secret side piece. The way he strings her along shows he has high narcissistic traits. She has to go no contact fast. And she needs to actually block his number and other forms of social media to heal. If he really loves her he will break off the engagement and find his way to her. That will never happen though, so she really needs to cut the cord
@@cmrandall9151 ikr. Even if this guy chooses her at the end in some bollywood style, with the amount of influence his community has over him, she's setting herself into a possible domestic abuse situation from him or the in laws down the line. I say run and pray for the girl who he's marrying. Sis dodged a bullet!
Loved the advice. She's gotta block him. I dated an Indian guy. Things are waaaaaaaay different culturally with them... we as Americans are from a different planet in comparison.
I feel like this video was posted for me. My ex and I broke up a few months ago, but still see each other. There are times where everything feels like it used to be. Then there are times I get cruel reminders that things will never be the same. I don't know what to do.
You know what to do!
Have you spoken to him about how you feel? Does he feel the same way? Is it worth it to go down a road of uncertainty if you’ve already had negative experiences with him in the past?
You definitely saved my life, too, Susan. I was in this same situation before. It was an emotional roller coaster and detrimental to the mental health. Your videos gave me encouragement and made me feel validated that my decision to walk away was right. Thank you very much, Susan. You are an angel. ❤️
I adore you, Lhara! It’s comments like these that really warm my heart and make what I do worth it! Always remember that you are stronger and more powerful than you can ever imagine. Your light positively affects all around you and the universe will steer you in the right direction!
I’m facing the same issue now. Thank you Susan!
I'm Indian. & I would like to say for the international audience, arranged marriage is no longer an 'Indian thing' as an obligation in urban Indian context. Its a Choice. Even some parents are wary of having to choose for their kids, in case things go wrong.
This guy wants to have his cake & eat it too. He's giving excuses for not having to marry someone he already has (so he thinks) as a sidechick even before he's married. It's a boyfriend thing, really.
exactly , . u learn ur lesson sooner the better. Let that shit go. Dont give them energy.
This is so important and took me ages to realise for myself. I would get so hurt any time my ex, who broke up with me for reasons that had nothing to do with anything I did wrong, would contact me. It was torture. It took me months to cut it off, but I eventually did, and it was only then that the healing accelerated.
It sounds like you learned about from the experience and are on a much healthier path!
I held on way too long to a girl I knew would never work out. She would have followed me to the ends of this Earth. I really did love her companionship, although I still knew she wasn’t the one for me. I was definitely toxic for her…. I broke her heart after years of going back and forth. In hindsight I should have let her go years earlier, so she could have found someone right for her. I wasted too much of her life and for that… I do feel guilt, shame and regret.
That is so mature of you to recognize that you did that. Not all people will or do.
The timing in which this came through in my feed was much needed and appreciated!
With tears in my eyes, I really needed to hear this. Thank you
Thank you so much. I was just in tears a few minutes ago because I am dealing with a similar situation with an ex. We were together then he decided I wasn't the one for him and now I am trying to move on. But's being so toxic by calling me the devil and calling me fat. I've never seen this side of him. It's becoming so abusive and we don't even talk anymore. He attacks everything I do. It's so terrible. But I thank you for your video because you validated his behavior as toxic, selfish, and not loving. I pray he finally understands and leaves me permanently alone. Especially since he might have a new girlfriend or fiance'. I want them to be happy and leave me alone. He's being so cruel. I want to move forward.
Stop praying: This guy is just toxic and will NEVER understand!!! If you want peace, go no contact!
This channel deserves a million subscribers ! Thanks for the work you do 🙏😇
I hope to get there someday! Thank you for the love!
Love this Susan. This is just what I need to hear.
It’s a tough situation. I was dating for a year. It’s was a push pull relationship. Thankfully we went no contact. And she was so cold. She’s texting me but, I’ve moved in. And thankfully I’ve understood that what she was doing was hurtful.
I’m glad you got out of what sounds like a channeling situation that you didn’t feel was servicing you!
It's also passive-aggressive. She's gotta block him pronto!
That is certainly an option!
Guy seems like he doesn’t care about and only about himself. He’s not good for you, I would stop contacting him and move on.
That is one option if it is negatively affecting your life!
Susan, Thank you so much for your time. Watching your videos has helped me to start feeling like a person again. I just ordered your book, I enjoy learning from you, Thank you!
How sweet of you to say! I can’t wait to hear what you think about Allowing Magnificence!
First time I fall in love with a channel. I don't usually turn on notifications but I wouldn't wanna miss a single video of yours! Everything is awesome: The content, the way you communicate, the charisma... ahhhh, I just enjoy watching you so much! Thank you for all of this, you're a role model ♥️
Hi Carolina! This is such a huge compliment! I can’t thank you enough! Please look out for a shout out from me soon on my community page!
Thanks for this video Susan! I never thought about a certain situation in my life this way. . . Your videos and advices has been my go to whenever I'm feeling uncertain and they are indeed a life saver 💛. Wishing you well and all the best!
Hi Ann! I can’t thank you enough for these kind words! You make my work worth it! 🥰
@@SusanWinter ❤️❤️❤️
Ha…. Wow… sounds like something I have gone through
Sorry to hear that!
@@SusanWinter it’s okay Susan, I’ve learned to move on a while ago. I know I deserve better. You give that strength 💜☺️
Such a good speaker you are!
Damn you hit it on the head…There situation with their relationship their Already in… They can’t be there for me like I need and want….And we have a child/ young adult girl together…
Thank you so much for this Susan , you are amazing 😭🥹🤍
You are amazing and inspiring. Great content!!
🙏 💕 😊
The voice of reason! ⭐
🙏😟🙏 Same here, but same culture...I HATE IT!!! 🙏😢🙏
Totally agree with all you have said .perfect .
Many virtual hugs to you Sue
@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan .
He wants to have his Kate and Edith, too.
Block him so you can move on and find someone real.
I have one girl who is below my expectations in all means. But I would have give her a chance hopeing she was valueable for a relationship. Turns out she is an aviodant and "not ready for anything serious" 😅 Now she does not want to explore if we have a chance with each other and at the same time "deeply hurt" when I dare to have a date with someone after she rejected me. She is a coworker and tells everyone that I am someone who hurts her...
To be honest this behaviour is so unattractive to me. She is like a child in a grown up women's body. Not attractive at all.
Ah, the 'ol "back pocket".... been there.
I begged this woman to let me go. Everytime I got a little further over the horizon she'd reel me back in.
Then I realized it wasn't up to her if I moved on. Giving her that power is the definition of being in someone's back pocket.
You have to decide. You don't need their permission to live your life and if they can't be a part of it.... there's your answer.
It’s good to hear that you’re no longer in that situation and have learned a powerful lesson! I’m glad you are on a much brighter path
@@SusanWinter you've been an enormous help Susan.
You're my favorite.
@Israel Zacarias no thanks.
Susan yes I experienced this thing to my Egyptian boyfriend and its because his culture Muslim that why he follow his family and me I was left aside and behind. And stuck but right now I'm already open myself that's I'm deserve a person not like this system. So I let him go
You deserve so much more. To be the light of someone’s day and not just on the side!
Thank you. I needed to hear this
Thank you! 🙏🏻
Disintegrated explanation at the best 👌👌👌👌
Susan🤩🤩🤩
Maybe the Indian guy wants her to contact him so he can run away with her but wants to know she is up for it ,just a thought.
This applies to females as well. She won’t take the rejection and move on
Is the name Priti? If so, my Indian friend with that name pronounces her name "Pree-Tee," not "pretty" FYI. :)
Yes!!
I am going through the same situation. I hope you are doing well.
Hi Susan
I am in relationship with someone who doesn't Seem to love me by the way he is with me but won't break it off but will push and push what's this about love your channel thanks x
Loooove your blouse!
Thank you! It’s one of my favorites!
@@SusanWinter I can see why :)
Loved this thank you from all of me
You’re very welcome!
An ass by any other name is still an ass. Culture or no culture. If he's an adult, he makes a choice and stands by it. Maybe I'm looking at this a little differently but I think the many men in this situation might try to have their cake and eat it too. It's up to the woman to set the boundaries and cut them off if they cross the lines of being a decent human being. We all love the ego rub of having someone tell us they love us and want to be with us, but at what price? Some circumstances only require a straight up, "Never contact me again" but this I think needs that combined with a block. And don't look back. Unless this man is 19 or under he will likely not change or "un-ass" himself.
What do you do? BLOCK HIM or most likely Pretty obviously enjoys the attention and doesn’t mind leading him on. So stop complaining. Easy Peasy
Hey susan,im new to the channel, your videos are awesome. I wanted to ask tou something.. if in a 3 y.o. Relationship, she asked for some space due to the fact that she had big changes in her life(job, etc), she asks you ,after a month of being distant , a second chance, you are together again and at some point further on she wants to break up, saying that she thinks her love for you ,has some ups and downs and is not consistently at 100% that she thinks it should be(accusing you for doing some small things she can’t tolerate), do you think this partner that you both love each other is worth another chance or that you should close the door behind you because she is emotionally unstable?
I separated Over a year ago but send flowers to her from our kids on mothers day because I want my youngest son to know what right looks like. I don’t include my name but she knows i pay for them haha-Together or not-
She replies thank you which is more than expected.
What of he broke up twice both because he wasn't happy with his life, he said he doesn't have room for a relationship, but he loves you and always very attracted to you. 2nd time broke up I did NC for 3+ months, he tried writing to me time to time to apologise, giving me all.compliments, but kept asking for friendship. When I finally stopped ignoring him, he came to pick his stuff but ended up talking a lot about his personal issues, we ended up sleeping together & he told me he always loves me.
Now it's getting very confusing, we met the 2nd time to talk, he insisted he doesn't want a relationship but he cares about me, he was suffering when I ignored him for few months, he said every morning the first thing he did was checking my Instagram.
I dunno what's the next step, we both have strong chemistry & he even swear he will not see other girl. I told him when we have feelings it won't be a pure friendship, yet non of us is looking to be FWB. I dunno what's this, I was moving on but he seemed couldn't. He also said relationship needs lots of compromise he can't give that much time.
Susan, how much of this is most women wanting the top tier men? How much of this that most women want the high status, "emotionally unavailable", most sought after men? There is a TON OF nice, highly reciprocal, sensitive, and emotionally available men, that women seem to reject whole sale. They can give her what she wants - but she doesn't want it from him. She want's it from the guy that can't, or won't, give it to her. I have seen this over and over again through out my life time. There is a lot of new and fascinating science/research about the dark triad (psychopathy, narcissism, machiavellianism), and that the men that possess these traits have more flexibility in the sexual market place (in other words, get chosen more often by women). What is your take on this? Does modern society have anything to do with this? Peace out from northern Europe :)
❤️❤️
Hi Raham. Thanks for the smooches!
He's going back to his toxic ex gf and he keeps texting me. He says he loves me but is going back to her because he feels sorry for her....like wtf?. 🙁
😂😂😂.. That's a crazy response. I would've blocked him real quick. I know its hard tho
Yes it is selfish and cruel
❤️
Hello Emily!
Why do I attract masculine women and femanine men when I embody myself in my femanine
Can’t? Or Won’t?
Both. Either way, they are ill prepared or unwilling to be a partner.