The Female Narcissist Traits and Behaviors
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- The traits and behaviors of the female narcissist, differ somewhat on a gender basis from the male narcissist in character, although essentially still seek the same control using the same manipulation techniques.
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I was in a 12 year relationship.
Keep this in mind.
If their absence brings you peace you did not lose them.
You have won yourself again.
Yea this applies to friendship as well. They need YOU to be their closest “best friend” overnight and you should have no boundaries with her and allowing her to do and say whatever she wants because you are her “fan”. The entire time she’s mimicking your entire identity in a very very uncomfortable creepy and extremely weird way. It does come across as bisexual. The entire time she’s enmeshed herself in your life to triangulate you from your family and friends. Extremely dangerous creature.
Yep, I have a sister who is extremely dangerous. Shes isolated me from my whole family....ive had to remove myself from them all.
I've experienced this with a few females 😳 it's suffocating. Also dealing with a female narc who's having an affair with my narc ex, both of them getting off on tormenting me. 😔
LilNiikki very true even what you say in a friendship. I put up with a female narcissist former friend for over 18 years . I'm so glad that person is no longer a part of my social life.
@@eddiej9745 , likewise 👍🏼 (🇬🇧 here)
Exactly my situation for now - I wrote about that above for a couple of minutes! My best friend is also bisexual but I'm not.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
If that worked for you then count your blessings. Read the book The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He explained how that may be good idea for a non-narc person who's physically abusive but with narcs/psychopaths a restraining order may drive a narc into a fit of rage and many ppl end up murdered. It's a great book for anybody who's suffered narc abuse and shows the #1 importance of trusting your instincts. Like fear.
Yes , you are extremely accurate with your assessment Paula.
Mine was highly competitive. At first she was sweet and submissive and did make me feel like a hero, I thought she was my dream girl but she did show subtle red flags even in the beginning. She had no father in her life, the father left when she was born so she was raised by her mother (who was attractive as well and had 3 kids all from different fathers). She had 2 sisters who were very attractive as well. So growing up i bet there was a lot of competition between them all. My ex used her sexuality and that's basically all she had. And she could manipulate using her looks. To me it seems as if my ex was less of having a relationship and more in competition with her sisters. Being number one and getting all the special attention from everybody in the room was her main priority and to outdo her sisters. Any man she had in her life was just a provider and she would give sex in return for getting what she wanted. The problem was was that she had to be the focus of attention all the time and while she acted innocent she was anything but and once she became connected to social media and her smart phone she could triangulate like a master manipulator. She would get way over emotional and could throw a tantrum like a 5 year old but then also could seduce you like a jezebel. You just cannot trust a narcissist and they will lie and gaslight and basically destroy your self worth and identity over time. Looking back I think my ex liked certain things about me but it was more like i was being targeted and set up and conned to be just an endless source of supply. The longer you stay the deeper the psychological abuse becomes.
I honestly believe that if i had committed suicide (hypothetically) over her, she would be more turned on by the fact that she held that kind of power to have that effect on someone , more so than actually feel horrible and sad of the tragedy of the death of a human being. The sickness is very deep , it's really an addiction of constant selfish attention and that's all that matters to them. They are really deeply damaged and sick people. That's the reality. I wish i had never experienced this tragedy of the human spirit.
Totally understand you
I had the exact same experience, nearly killed me when she did final discard out of the blue after 3 years, I was suddenly a complete stranger, and I changed her life while I was with her, I’m struggling though as miss her 4 months later, I have no life now
@@pauleastwood3694 Fight to get it back.
Thanks for sharing you experience it’s been very helpful in my case I believe I have been targeted for over a decade but I’ve never engaged in sex with the individual at all
@@weluvmusick The thing that’s tricky is is that they act this way but they’ll swear that they’re being honest and sincere. That’s the part that really messed me up and kept going back. My family saw it right away and told me to get away. I fought them at first. I was stuck between heaven and hell.
Forget right and wrong and just get out.
I, as a gay man, was once lured into this friendship with a female colleague. She knew right from the start I was gay. It was an endless period of unkind nastiness eventhough we were not sexually involved with each other. I heard you when you said: a narc could easily turn into a bisexual in order to get supply. A narc can also pretend friendship in a platonic way just to get supply. Meaning, sometimes there is sex involved and sometimes not at all. This lady in my situation definitely was a Jezebel and I gave her total supply because I didn’t have a clue about narcissism AT ALL.. Later I found out that it was ME that attracted narcs because of my narc brother and so I also attracted male gay narcs as romantic partners but I finally saw the light. I am happy I went total no contact with this female devil. Now to me, there are only two kinds of people on this planet, narcs and no narcs. Thank you so much for your adequate explanation and meditative voice and appearance. Say woof to your dog from me and wishing you firm hugs from Amsterdam 🌷
Quite well explained. I agree it’s love consciousness or narcissistic behavior. Thanks for sharing. Be well.Peace to all.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer NPD ppl are gender fluid they’ll be gay for the day .. any supply is better than no supply .. narc sex is only for power and control .. they actually rather watch porn and masturbate . Your just an object .
Kitty Kat they become gay , straight bisexual depending who they are with .,.. they have no real identity so it’s easy for them to do !
Woof back says Remy and my mom says thanks 🐕
Hi Marty. Your post is a mirror of me. I had this gay friend that was a piece of work and slandered me to people when I told him off via e-mail on something he did at his job that could’ve put my ID theft compromise. He had nothing to lose as he was bankrupt, unattractive, nasty and wore his heart on his sleeve. I think he always wanted me and I wasn’t aware of just how jealous he was of me. Three women I knew were also narcs and one got money from me and has gone awol. Like Paula has said in prior vids, I always had an unsettling, bad gut feeling about her. She was married to a man, has been with women and on/off again with a man. I realize she is greedy and selfish and uses men to support her wants. I think they see a softee in gay men and I’m angry at myself for being so naive and stupid at trusting her. Another woman started in on me with childish, nasty comments and called my late mother whom she met only once a B. Nobody calls my mother that! This one I blocked about a year ago because she’d call me several times a day and night. Needy PITA. Pain in --! Full no contact and I don’t have the right chest or headaches. A real victim mentality and society owes her because of her race. There was always a comment about my race and I cut her off. A real project for a therapist. Another female Narc like me and she always wanted to stay at my place. When the empath Enough is Enough and said no, she whined like a child that doesn’t get a cookie. Another whack job!
My family was full of severe narcissists. My sister in law was such an evil person, I nicknamed her, "Jezzy.". Even my husband called her this...he was a sociopath who tried to have me abducted and murdered. It's a miracle I survived!
Not gonna lie, this talk made my stomach feel bad….it’s completely accurate. Peace To All.
Sorry Deb 🌹
That’s because it’s spiritual. When I came out of the relationship hearing things like this made my stomach turn as well.
I was had by a female Narc for 4 years, nearly cost me my life. Like you say, everything she was is as you say. Pure evil creature. I'm so glad to be out of it, but my god it hurt me 10 fold after the discard. I feel so sorry for the new supply and I'm so tempted to tip him off by sending him this video 😁
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Agreed. I was with one too. She was pure evil and with a new supply. She was an aging one too who lived a double life with him trying to get pregnant. The worst of the worst. I left because my mind was at its worst. Thank God. There is no soul in her I now realise.
Now you don’t have to refer to her as “psycho or crazy! She is a narcissist and you have been abused!
they ARE pure evil.
Same here, did you do it? I think we need a support group so we can inform the new supply anonymously, someone the new supply doesn’t know informing them if that makes sense ?
My situation is Unique...I had 2 Narcissist parents (deceased) and 5 NARCISSIST Sisters....I was the only EMPATH in the FAMILY
I could write an encyclopedia of what I've endured at their hands...I was DISCARDED by my NARCISSIST FAMILY....
best thing ever happened to me...My Talents saved me from going Insane...Now I am free and LIFE if Wonderful...
Indeed when growing up as an empath in such a family, (same as me, as my stepfather was the enabler, rest were narcs on high level), you must endure all the sick behavior.
Maybe a good idea to write that encyclopedia.
Good your life is beautiful 🍀
I had two narc parents, a narc grandma and I’m still trying to figure out if I have 2 or all 3 narc siblings. I somehow think your situation isn’t that unique- we all need to meet each other
Child of God , never alone say the Rosary and go for Mass
I’m too an the one who is on their own. I’m an empath as well.
"A strong personal agenda with each act of kindness" thank you for putting words to it! My narc sister has been trying to "steal" my kids and grandkids for years with this tool. It's her go-to, number 1 tool! I'm now 2 1/2 years no contact and my life has never been so free! Love your channel!
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Narcissist want to steal your children. Also, witches.
What a thorough, straight forward, well-expressed video on these women. Anyone reading comments and not viewing video is TRULY missing a valuable piece of information. I, myself had a narcissist Mother & have worked for years reclaiming my true self.
Six decades! but love is what won in the end.
Narcissist mothers is an enormously complex issue affecting the 'target' in heart, soul, body and mind. I loved my mother so much though I would never see reciprocation. The destruction of me as a person was nearly fatal. She died a horrific death from pancreatitis. I stayed at her side the last days, determined to see her into heaven. I believe she is. The freedom from a chained up soul has been an on going journey that has had so many setbacks. I know I am still a magnet.
@@MorganJServices Consciousness, aware consciousness, is the key! Love, life, light, your way!
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer it's the end result of any matter that truly matters!
Eternal life even.
So yes, better late than never sista!
Have a YAHsome life! ♥️🔥💐💯
@@MorganJServices , your mother was a blessed woman to have you! I am sure with the spiritual knowledge you have and the guidance you were able to give her as she passed, she is heaven. God thought enough of her to give her you and that surely shows God's love to all souls.
To a Tee as usual Paula. An emotional drain and a very masty experience. Their control was subtle but severe. Thank god its over. Thank you ❤️
How did you get away?
My sister a narc very materialistic greedy wants to control everyone
@@suesilva5252 you never really get away Sue. Although they are bad at attaching their even worse at detaching. I could tell you the horror of what happened me although it's the same for us all. Mine devalued and discarded me after a heart attack in which I nearly died. Believe me it's not easy to let go, especially when you invest so much unconditional love in the situation. I will tell you this though. Once you recognise the individual and they show themselves, take it as a blessing. For me personally when the narc projected that I had no empathy or capacity for love I knew something was up. I remind myself that this was really their inner belief about themselves. This keeps me going. I'm 7 months out of a 22 year relationship and marraige, alienated from my kids, smeared, losing the beautiful home I built them, and in an identity crisis, which I'm stumbling through. I have no intentions of new relationships as I'm not ready, I also want to show my kids a degree of maturity and responsibility. Feel free to contact me again if you so wish. Thank jehova for Paula and this channel. Sincerely you will get there, albeit wiser and stronger, take care. Shaun
@@shaunduffy861 Thank you, Shaun. They are pure demons. One has her hooks in my son. She has isolated him from his family; we haven't seen him or my grandchildren in over 12 years. Good luck to you and I'm so glad you were able to get free. Take good care of yourself.
@@shaunduffy861 Jeez, what a story, Shaun. Glad to hear you're coming through it though.
Stay strong.
You have just described my ex wife. She destroyed my life and my confidence now I’m in a healing process, without my faith and my children I would not be alive 🙏🏽
Exactly, word for word my situation.
I was in a Lesbian relationship. I am considered the more dominant one, my ex was more the “feminine. She was never diagnosed as a narcissist, but she has all the characteristics of one. She goes back and forth from men to women. When we broke up she had already started a new relationship, 17 months of dating a man , they are now married, her second marriage, Before we broke up, she would come to my house and remove pictures of my children from the wall. looking back , she has the same dating pattern. She feed the homeless, but behind closed doors , she would rage at me and it was terrifying. Nobody believed me. Only my younger sister believed me , because they went to school together. Looking back, not trying to label Bi-sexual people. But many of them display most narcissistic traits. I guess Supply is supply 🤷🏽♀️
- makes sense.
Bingo! Supply is supply....and they're entitled to it all!
Described ex 100%. Unfortunately in my demographic and cultural surroundings these behaviors are highly praised and only a "real man" can take care of and handle a woman such as this. I now avoid any woman that let's the words "real man" or I'm a handful come from her lips, and I don't associate with men either that perpetuate the cycle or narcissism for all genders.
Married to one ,we are about to separate, she is hovering right now. Sad to say there are twin toddlers involved. Podcasts like this are so helpful in making me aware of what I have been going through. You guys know these malignant narcissist so well so nothing is a surprise anymore. Really looking forward to putting this episode behind me.
Don't wait for 45 years like i did, get away now, if you've seen the mask slip, stick by your kids, you are all they have..........
Good luck to you. Watch your back!!!
Stay strong
Wishing you the best
Relationships start brilliantly but end up being utterly toxic. Will often make the first move in a dating site/ situation. Beware multiple relationships and constantly cheating. Sex is their favourite activity to the point of being an addict, its all about supply.
I had a friend while in my twenties who was drop dead gorgeous. Both of us worked at the same place and sometimes we shopped together and went out for a bite. I noticed when I got attention from men she would display distaste and literally say oh they are looking at you!; with a bit of underlying anger and I was always surprised at that because she was so beautiful. Over time she started calling me sex pot in a sarcastic way. When I started dating a friend we had in common she even asked to sit in the front of the car beside him a few times knowing full well I was his now his girlfriend. She got really fed up of hearing him give me compliments and even said so. Over time I backed away from that false friendship. Years later I saw photos of her shown to me from another friend and noticed she had not aged well. Surely because she was a big drinker party girl. It took its tole...karma... she reaped what she had sown.
Sounds exactly the a ole friend I use to have !,,
They have no light in them only dark,so they age like sour milk😉🙏
Do you think maybe it's because they were really ugly in their earlier years and once they became attractive the narc tendencies were already in place? Years of probably being ignored, bullied or feeling unworthy? So many very attractive female narcs it's so strange.
@@wavygirl8896 I think it was the opposite.. she was always pretty and her parents overly spoiled her and doted on her so she really believed she deserved all the attention and hated sharing any attention at all. After all she is the queen B. Now she has the face she deserves fro all her alcoholism.
@@mariepeartree5018 wowww 🤯🤯 ahh yes of course, the spoilt entitled brat syndrome. It's grosse
This is happening to my husband right now
He wants a divorce for this bisexual jezebel. This is so spot on.
I have just really started to watch your videos and Miss Paula, I have got to say thank you. I do believe there is a very spiritual element to narcissism, and it is so destructive. I was married to a man with narcissism, and it nearly ruined my life. My son now is ensnared by one and, as many times as he tried to get away from her, she caught him and has alienated him from his whole family. I put my foot down with her nonsense and she turned me into everything, in his eyes, then the mother that loves him. We have not talked in over a year. I am utterly heartbroken because the man who he worked so hard to become is totally chained to her and her whims. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge on this awful dis-ease and how to get on healing from the devastation it leaves behind.
Your own love and example, will conquer Mary.
She is temporarily a part of his life. You are eternally and soon he will see it too.
Shalom!
Have a YAHsome day!
He will come back, when he can't take it anymore and realises who she is. We may not all be able to leave the relationship but we always find out who they are at some point.
@@gloriabartolome3123 yes...
@@theresefournier3269 , Thank you Therese!
@@gloriabartolome3123 Thank you Gloria! I am here for him, always. He is a grown man and I do understand what he is tied up in.
You just described my covert narcissist former “friend.” She and I seemingly had so much in common (love bombing), but when any questions were asked, she would go to pieces (narcissistic rage). She even pretended to be secretly in love with me even though she was already married. There was no affair, it was just one of her manipulation tactics. One thing I noticed in the beginning, she was a busybody who loved to gossip. Suddenly there were “miscommunications“ and “misunderstandings.“ Any conflict where she was the common denominator, she often tried to excuse it away and sweep it under the rug as wires being crossed. Any attempt to further discuss those conflicts we're met with ridicule and her making me seem like the bad guy (projection). Even minor disagreements or differences of opinion, she treated like it was a personal affront to her honor (yeah, right) and turned it into a screaming match. I saw other friendships she had crumble and go down in flames. She was more than willing to trash-talk these people that she supposedly cared so much about. Honestly, it made me very uncomfortable. She needed a sounding board and I was her unwilling, reluctant audience member. I heard many a story where she was the victim and everyone else was the butthole. Who was the common denominator? Her. How much of the story was flipped to depict the other party as the villain and her as the innocent bystander? All of it. It was soon that I found out she was trash-talking me too, despite her proclamation that I was her “best friend” or her “friend for life.” Then the utter lack of respect for boundaries and trampling all over those boundaries that I laid down began. She dangled her kids in front of me to get me to give her money. It was supposed to be a loan, but, of course, she never paid back all of it. When I pressed her for it, the mask came off and I got to see how ugly she truly was. The only reason I stuck around as long as I did, was because I cared about her children. They didn't deserve the existence she had sentenced them to. Tragically, they grew up to be just like her: entitled, selfish, mean-spirited, spiteful petty thieves. To make a long story short, a list of the atrocities she committed against me include, but not limited to and in no particular order are: defaming me to anyone who would listen after I demanded she pay back the money she owed, spreading an entirely untrue rumor that I had caught an STI from a one-night stand, outing me to my extremely conservative Italian Roman Catholic homophobic father (we were already estranged and barely on speaking terms, but her malicious actions caused him to completely disown me and she showed no remorse), then on the day my father died, she has the nerve to say, and I quote, that the two of us “never got along anyway“ and weeks after that repugnant statement, without even batting an eyelash, she shamelessly asked (demanded) that I share my non-existence inheritance with her because she had lost yet another job due to poor attendance.
I cut off all contact with her more than eight years ago and my life is far less stressful without her in it. She didn't even notice that I had blocked her on everything and changed my cell phone number for months. It was only when she tried to use the death of a mutual acquaintance as an excuse to contact me (and turn the tragedy into a story about herself), that she finally realized I had cut contact. I later found out from a mutual friend (who I was fortunately able to wake up to her toxicity and has also since cut contact), that my former friend, then a 50-something mother and grandmother, threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed a toddler. How dare I say enough is enough and choose to no longer be exposed to her viper venom? She wasn't done abusing me. Tough crap. Of course, to her, me taking back the power was not in any way acceptable. She demanded my friend, block me to show solidarity with her. When he refused, she tried a different tactic: her failed attempt at turning him into her flying monkey to get him to spy on me because she was [wait for it] convinced I was talking about her. When he refused, stating that she wasn't as interesting as she thinks she is, she flipped out on him, too. He wasn't used to seeing her like that. It was the beginning of the end that caused him to start asking questions and show resistance to her insane expectations. When she subjected him to the silent treatment, for what would be the final time, he took it as a hint to cut her off completely.
As for me, I hated her for a long while, not just because of the money or the horrible things she did to me, but because of the wasted time. I can't get those years back. After doing some soul searching, I realized that that she is a truly broken and hollow individual not capable of having anything resembling a conscience or a healthy relationship with anyone. It is through the grace of God, that I was able to privately forgive her and I repeatedly ask him, when I pray, to give her the ethereal slap upside the head so she will, hopefully, one day finally get a clue. The downside to free will is a person has to want to change. The odds, of my former friend ever admitting she has a problem, are about as likely as a Kardashian winning an Oscar.
My son had a 3 week fling with a woman resulting in her pregnancy. The child is now 13 and over the past few years the mother has been making it increasingly difficult for my son to see his daughter and he realized he was a victim of parental alienation. He also realized that the mother is a narcissist. We have been watching your videos and adapting a lot of what you say to our situation. I say our because l have been a big part in the upbringing of my granddaughter. I have been the cash cow. I also realized that this so called relationship was always a facade and if anything she was trying to use the situation to put a wedge between me and my son. I have not gotten involved with any of their conversations re visitation etc. That was the right thing to do as l am learning from all your videos. My son realizes he is in a no win situation and stopped making demands, leaving it to his daughter to initiate time together thus not allowing himself to be controlled. It has been an extremely traumatic time for all of us as we watch our little granddaughter morph into her mother, distorting some of the wonderful memories we have. It would take too long to explain our situation but your videos are helping us understand the situation and become at peace with it all. Sad thing is that our family was never a threat to hers and never in competition. We only ever wanted to enhance a little girls life. That little girl is fast becoming a narcissist. She sees nothing good in other people, always negative, even about her best friend. She does none of the activities we did with her, just following her mothers lead. Her whole life is played out on FB. Her mother is very much the do good always overdoing things so people remark how wonderful she is. I always knew she was a wolf in sheeps clothing and at the start of all this my son predicted what we are going through. 😔
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Susan Christie ... there's a man named Duane - he runs a YT channel called DSD (Dads Surviving Divorce) but it also focuses on Narcissists & PA [Parental Alienation] via divorce situations. His yt channel is Amazzzing & I think your son and/or yourself may benefit from it, as well as Narc Con who is Fabulous !! - Not sure if you already know about him ? but just thought I'd share : ) Hang in there ~ thinking of you both & the little girl, Sincerely, Cindy
WOW, This is exactly what I needed to hear!!!! I live next door to 2 narcissist women, now married and I've been the target of one of them, and the other one was a former ridding friend who followed me when I moved 100 miles away( unwanted) to a new town. I was angry with her when she pulled this stunt. I have had threats, vandalism, assault, aggressive harassment, and abuse. Yes the police and lawyers are involved. They treat me as if I am a pile of shit trespassing on my own property. I have never experienced anything like this. Your advice and information is invaluable to us who have been abused by a narcissist. I look forward to your next video. May God bless you for teaching and sharing with us about these Jezebels.
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Nailed it. This friend I used to have is everything you talked about. I saw it early on and removed her from my
Life. She tried to punish me by hurting those close to me. She’s alone. She will always be alone. She’s pure evil.
To flip it a bit, a woman in a committed relationship that is looking to end it or at least have an affair, loves to see her new target and husband/present boyfriend in the same place together, for example a bar. She will set this up and text the target while she is sitting next to her significant other, positioning herself to be able to see the target responding to the text. She may text you to meet her outside or near the bathroom. The closer the proximity of the two men, the greater the rush, and the more satisfaction they achieve in the revenge on their partner.
Totally agree my ex actually set me up with his friend in a underhanded way.
He would have his secret gay lover come out where we were and then they would meet in the bathroom
Omg. You describe frighteningly accurately the woman I have spent the last 25 years with. You didn’t miss once.
Thank you so much🙏🏼
You just described my Overt narccasist sister in law....she has destroyed my Brother entirely. He stayed with her which is now 45 years of living HELL for him but feels he deserves it because our MOTHER was the same....
Over sexual demonstration to get what she wants.....equal to holding it against him when she feels she needs more money and attention from him....
Taking my Brothers and her own Sisters enheritance without any guilt or shame. She actually gained 400.000.00 between both of her victims 😳
She has no friends and both her Daughters want nothing to do with her BUT my Brother still stays in this nightmare 💔 Her Sister got wise and cut her out for over 20 years now.
🌹..keep praying for your brother and praise him in his own right
This was an EXCELLENT and very accurate analysis of the types of female narcissists and their characters. I say this because I have had experience and can relate people I know closely to every single type of narcissist, overt and covert.
I have had female friends and relatives,that are classic in exhibiting those characteristics. And the thing you said about them wanting people around them to be their personal P.A. is so spot on!🎯💯
The envy, jealousy, competition, resentment, completely false or twisted accusations made behind your back with the smear campaign, whilst appearing so supportive, sweet, generous & lovely, is such a betrayal and actually truly heartbreaking 💔(especially when it is close relatives because of the smashing down of the boundary of TRUST).
They will step over or throw their own Mother under the bus, to benefit themselves. Literally. They are people 'possessed' with evil spirits within them.
I could not agree more with the 'Jezebel' spirit. It is family trait too. I feel blessed to have escaped from it dwelling within me BUT I ache to my core for the narcissist female family members that discarded me. Especially my daughters.
Jezebel is what one of my closest sister in laws call the perceived narcissist that has been targeting me I’m fully aware that I could be a target but I’d be dammed if I allow myself to get sucked into that web of destruction
I love so much of your hard work on the subject, and your therapeutic inputs to help the survivors recover.
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Even if I had very high IQ it would be impossible for me to learn all the tricks and manipulations and abusive ways of a narcissist. It really is like they are something other than human to do what they do.
It’s as if they all got their marching orders from the same dark source.
No it’s just the only thing they do, that’s why they are good at it
I had a friend like this, she was exhausting to be around. So glad she's not in my life anymore. Appreciate your reminders. I see some of these qualities in my boyfriend's mom. She's too old to be sexually convincing but does often play the damsel in distress to make others feel like the hero.
I’ve known a woman like this for at least 15 years who has been a victim forever every time you talk to her it’s a new twist
I was raised by a very NPD mother and had a two year older sister, she was the goldenchild. My mother hated women and didn’t want to have another daughter..so raised me like a boy..but became the scapegoat as my hart was honest and was as a child already a truth teller. My sister was from childhood already very busy with the little boys and if I came near to them “I got it”. While I wanted to play with their toys, my sister wanted to play “other games” with them. So I was not allowed to play with “her” boys. Yes it’s sick.
My mother got a new husband (while my biological father was ghosted and smeared by my mom towards (specially me) and I never seen him until I was 50 years old.
So my mom got a new husband, my stepfather, and he had three older sons. And of coarse my sister went for one of them, with help of our mother. This is in my sisters after teenage, around 22 years (and I was 20) of age. But the stepbrother was by that time engaged and was going to marry. My mom Send them on Holliday together.
At that time I was already heavy smeared to the stepbrothers and not much at home anymore. So they never learned to know me and were easily to believe the lies about me.
So stepfather died and mother died…
and my sister ran of with the inheritance to share it with the stepbrothers, leave me out of it like I don’t exist. This is because my sister still is hunting for the one stepbrother. And so my sister gives me the silence treat (more like ghosting, now for three years).
This sister also sexual abused me at 13 years of age. Hit me with a glass 7-up bottle on my head; stabbed me with a knife..and heavily physical molested me at the age of 49 (I was 47), because I stood up for myself.
This person who is biological my sister is born out of the devil…witch was my mother. She raised her like this, victim mentality- sexual obsessed, vindictive, sadistic, Machiavellistic, pathological lying monster. (Excuse my language).
I wonder how I became such a honest and empathic person…I of coarse am gay but go for real love, not sex. Can tell that I had several NPD relationships cause of this upbringing.
This is the short version… as the story of my life is actually much longer.
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I hate that you went through this. I too have a NPD mother and covert NPD father. Gosh they have caused so much damage. So many of us totally understand your story. I pray for your healing none of us deserved to have wicked evil people as parents.
You just described my daughter in law. My so gas been turned against me, his mother, and one by one his siblings. I watched her use her sexual charms to snare him, use him for US citizenship, use her threat of taking their children back to her homeland if he opposes her, and as soon as they were married began her campaign to eliminate me from any relationship with my son. She then bagan a campaign to love bomb my sisters to prevent me from telling the truth about the real situation. She brought in a female admirer who for much of their 15 year marriage has lived with them. I prayed much about it and felt that I was not to fight this battle. That it was God's fight. It has been 6 years since seeing my oldest son, and gave had no contact with either of my grandchildren. This whole situation was made worse as she spread lies about things I supposedly said or did that warranted my isolation to my other children and my sisters, so that I was painted the villain. I have done little to challenge her falsehoods, I just figured they would all discover the truth for themselves. And they have. This fracturing of family relationships has hurt deeply, but I am trusting God to heal. I ache for the delusion my son is under,; he has become her creature. He fetches and carries for her while she holds court with her admirers. All I can do is continue to pray for my son's eyes to be opened. Thank you for sharing your insightful analysis.
Wow! This is a great video. I particularly related to the part where narcissists profess their bisexuality in order to widen their circle and gain supply, especially when they're older. I'm a bi female and seven years ago, I had moved to a new area, didn't know anyone and struck up a conversation at a bar with a gay male sitting next to me while I was having dinner. He seemed friendly so we exchanged contact info. The first time we made plans to hang out, he told me he could "date a woman". I didn't think much of it at the time, but in retrospect I should have ran when he said that. As I got to know him and he told me his backstory, it became evident that he was looking for someone to take care of him. He was 47 at the time, decent looking for his age but not to the point where he could obtain another sugar daddy. He had been together with his previous boyfriend for 7 years and he hadn't worked at all during that time. Just stayed home and smoked pot. The one thing I will add is that it's really hard when you move to a new area and don't know anyone. People like this will deliberately target you so beware. It's like you want to be open to new people but you also have to be discerning. This guy revealed himself over a period of 6 months. (We hung out once or twice a month.) The more I got to know him, the more uncomfortable I felt. He wound up sending me a bizarrely angered email when I refused to be a personal work reference for him. I didn't respond to that email and quietly exited the whole situation. In retrospect, this person lived on the edge and was really looking for supply, especially material and financial. I gave him the benefit of the doubt a few extra times, but in retrospect I should have cut him loose much sooner. Beware, because these people can be highly intelligent and charismatic. I had some great conversations with this person. These days I am more circumspect and I don't easily let people into my inner circle.
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You are gifted with an insight into narcissist abuse, like none other. You have helped me tremendously to not go off the deep end. Having been extensively abused by my narcissist wife. You describe her behavior and actions perfectly! Purely demonic!
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This just happened!! You are spot on with every detaiI. I saw it with my own eyes and the boyfriend was left behind reeling and brokenhearted. I tried to teach him about narcissism. At first, I think he was in denial, but as the patterns emerged he saw it. I taught him the red flags, so he may be able to detect it if it ever occurs again. Man or woman the results are devasting.
Every since this same-sex became a thing, narcissism went on a rise. The enemy just ran rapid since this happened
Ya it’s rlly messed up.. I’ve been gay forever. Had women try to boost themselves for attention..
My younger sibling is straight as they come. But I’ve day comments on how much attention I get, everywhere ect!!
Even tho every man is eyes on her. All good.
But if it isn’t EVERYeye and I get some attention. She feels in superior and tries to embarrass me or talk down inform of others.
It’s messed up but she learnt from my mother. Histrionic personality disorders.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! In my spirit I already felt what you now confirmed! Dealing with a “godly” narc who is severely insecure & miserably failed with an EPIC fail to dig her claws into me. Truly, I’ve never come across a more shallow and insecure individual who flaunts false “confidence” as a real truth to be told as being something they posses to whomever is willing to listen 😂💪🏻Much love & respect to you for teaching us how to guard our hearts!! ✌🏻❤️
Men seem to be attracted to these types of women. I was watching a different video recently about some other topic, and it was amazing how in the comments, women were complaining that being a good girl just didn't seem to get men's attention. But, no man will really be happy with someone like this. How can they? That's power and control, just like abusers.
You make a very underestimated and valuable point, because both sexes are vulnerable to this dynamic, it’s a complex societal issue, there are inevitable childhood wounds that people acquire for many reasons. These people can hone in on your inner wound like an Exocet missile , they will track you until they find a way to latch on, but unless you are lucky enough to have high intuition the average person will be blindsided, that is why they are so deadly. Unfortunately society is very competitive, so there is an instant pressure on everyone to be perceived as “performing “ in some arena or other, the one thing I am curious about is , do they ever marry each other, and if they do how does that pan out 🤔
Majority of narcissist females are have a sexual demeanor so of course many men will be attracted to them by the ""visual""..Many of them go after men by giving the men much attention,and straight hooking up together..The so called ""good girls"" wait on the men to approach and pursue them,.many narcissist female do not operate that way they pursue the men 1st..This is one main reason narcissist females get the men over the so called ""good girls"" because their aggressive and going straight after a target(man)..Two narcissist do not have to get married they'll most likely move in together(shack)or live apart with both doing their own thing on the side creating the breakup makeup drama and chaos..Two narcissist together one will shift into a co-dependent on the other narc,both can't dominate..It will be chaos and drama as supply from each other,one dominating and the other as the victim but eventually both will destroy each other but still be connected no matter what if no supply sources or down grades are available .
They adore them to the bone
Nailed it! After 10yrs together,6 of which we were married, and 1 child, I finally awoke to my nightmare. She seems to fit the covert category, and is highly sexual. She has scapegoated me very well. She is brilliant at getting what she wants, while hurting many people.
Today is the day I left. Pray for me, her ego is badly wounded because I left her.
Me-INFJ
Her-ESFP
Prayers for you Justin 🌹
I clicked the send button by mistake but I was saying your explanation of narcissism is very on point. Thank you Paula for all you do and your time to help us. I find the people who have gone through this are the only ones who understand. When you talk to people about this they think you’re crazy. I also found that most therapists out there do not understand this and I found that out through therapy trying to save my marriage which did not work because he manipulated her too. Anyway, I was devastated when this therapist or should I say so-called therapist did this because I was still grieving a 40 year marriage but my strong faith got me through but I must say I was very broken.I am a much stronger and wiser person for going through this and that is the good news that healing comes little by little every day but it comes.Thank You
I must say very good description.
20 year relationship. She becomes what you want just to slowly take it away. To see the pain in your eyes and to control you so you comply to their agenda. They know all your wounds, they know your combination that unlocks your agreeableness. You are becoming her slave while you work to build her up. She is sabotaging you to bring you down. She wants the overt power position from you. Full control. They keep you hyper fixated on them. Agitated frustrated, confused, full of anxiety. I would say simmering just below the surface. You can't relax enough to interact with your children. It was in that state I realized I had become my father. With that I knew where this road was headed. So what did I do? I ignored the silent treatment. I didn't let it bother me. At that time I had no idea about personality disorders. I was just doing the opposite of what I had always done.i relaxed and enjoyed my children. She noticed because they know if you care the silent treatment makes them more powerful. If you don't it is starving them. They get weaker and you actually see them crashing into depression, paranoia, psychotic episodes. They may have had a elaborate plan to discard and destroy you but if you stop caring they scramble to discard you.
A 20 year relationship (15 married) ended. She broke the silent treatment with a rage filled attack trying to provoke a reaction. She wanted me gone . I said it was my house. Lol. She left with my children just to have me protection ordered out of my home.
She does not communicate. She is still ghosting me. We have 2 teenage boys but they can't communicate with me because they will be punished. It's parental alienation. But you know you aren't going to be able to save them. Walking away is hard but there was no path that you knew of.
Been years now and I know a lot about covert female narcissism. Try to explain that to children or anyone living the delusion. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
They are extremely cruel they take so much glee in putting others down or bullying making fun of others in public. They grandstand and yes so true do anything for attention. The one I knew was married to a man who had $$. She was spending it and on the greatest high of her life. She bought property by an ocean resort. The icing on the cake is she fell in her hot tub and broke her nose probably because it was always up in the air ended up in hospital ....so karma does come eventually to these type. I've seen so many end up back in the gutter they crawled out of losing everything they clawed onto. Including family that bragged about their material wealth & put others down and ended up with nothing. Bankrupt morally spiritually financially. Ironic eh!
The altruistic narc is a fascinating one. Very hard to detect because they are do good'ers. You can see their attempt to control through their acts of giving. LIke you mentioned giving gifts.
You’re so right my experience comes from a church going sister who appears to be so innocent misunderstood weak little child even at 60 years old
@@weluvmusick - yes. I know one who actually post her good deeds on Facebook all the time. She took a pic of her taking a disadvantaged person to.lunch saying how she loves to treat people etc.
I'm thinking....how does a intelligent person not know better than posting goods deeds all the time. Jesus said don't receive your reward on earth boasting about your deeds. I am trying really hard not to judge these people. But once you see it, you see it.
I never received any gifts she just endlessly spewed out a lot of personal information in a short profile time which I thought was weird to say the least
@@weluvmusick - interesting. I wonder if they do that to gain empathy.
Absolutely. I recently avoided exactly what you describe. There is a huge crossover with narcisisstic and histrionic behaviours though. Zero boundaries or genuine empathy, no problem at all with her having multiple male sexual partners while being horrified if I was talking (that's talking and nothing else) to a female work colleague, always well dressed and model photoshoots 0 not just a humble selfie, drained at least 2 men of large sums of money and conned her way into a holiday with him. And the catch-all, me as the 'actual boyfriend' being accused of 'acting a little upset' or 'youre being quiet today' as though I was supposed to accept all this
You just described her in detail. Nothing ever good enough, 3kids built her a house. Obsessed with herself. Never happy. Always ill, even when doctors couldn’t find anything wrong.
I just think that the easiest way to identify a narcissist is they are not humble. When a person is humble, it really shows in everything about them. It's an energy. It's something you can sense. They will not be shouting it from the roof tops. Use your intuition. It will tell you everything. Listen when people talk. Study the nature of the words that come out of their mouths. Examine the way you feel when you are around them. I say this, because a narcissistic person is never going to announce it to you with trumpets. If you are not paying attention, you will find out the hard way after you have suffered through their abuse. Don't put yourself through that. Instead, pay attention to the CONTRAST between a normal, empathic, humble person and the way they express themselves. The energy they emit and the way you feel in their presence. You will feel relaxed and comfortable. They don't want anything from you. They are altruistic and "other" focused. A narcissistic person has an agenda, because they are self serving. They will brag about themselves. Or they will tell you stories always painting themselves as the "victim". Do you think that is normal behavior? It is not. They will be competing with you. They will interrogate you with invasive questions. They will insult you and say they are just joking. All of these behaviors are NOT normal and a way of overcompensating. Well adjusted people do not have a need to overcompensate. Just start paying attention. Watch. Listen. Feel. You will find out everything you need to know.
Amen 👏😇💯
Perfect descriptions. Been involved and have seen my circle of friends get involved with both types.
The funny thing is, even with the red flags, sometimes we let ourselves go and get ensnared. This is proof that our animal side sometimes rules over the logical. As men get older, it is a little harder to fall for it, both because of experience and because our testorone levels drop. But that is understandable, we are sexual and emotional people as well, after all... what really makes me go nuts is when friends or family falls for one of those and they are hideous and unpolite. Crazy.
Perfectly described! I know a few of these 2 types and also recognise through experience that they can shift between the two dynamics depending on their agenda. They are totally self absorbed, extremely selfish (whilst giving the impression that they are so caring), extremely communal narc types, love to tell everyone about all the good deeds they do and yet behind the scenes bitch about everyone behind their backs or do this overtly and say it's just a joke when they're putting someone down. They will stop at nothing til the get what they want and feed on extracting other peoples mishaps for future gossip. And of course their favourite pastime - scheming fallouts between family members and standing back and enjoying the discard they have created. Malice-aforethought with either the big wide innocent eyes or the flashy wide smile that they use to cover up their malicious intent. Thank you Paula for once again saying it like it is. Best wishes to you.
This video is AMAZING Paula! You are saying things here nobody is saying. So my ex narc came into a lesbian relationship claiming that she has always been bisexual but only been in heterosexual relationships. But her interactions with men were always sickening. I saw how she used her sexuality to try to get what she wanted and I couldn’t understand why she led them on so much, because ultimately she never gave them what they wanted and she never got what she wanted either, since they were only prepared to give to her if she gave something to them that she had ‘promised’ with her energetic flirting. So she always used the poor me attitude that she could never get what she wanted because men only want one thing from her!! Then she would say to me that she preferred men sexually to women and I would wonder what the hell are you doing with me then? But I realised a pattern. When she was with a man, she missed a woman and vice versa. She wanted both at once. She found she could get two supplies that way - not that she managed to find it that way ever. But also it’s that triangulation to make her current supply feel insecure. To a man, she can say that she misses a woman and to a woman she can make you feel like you’re just not enough as you don’t have a penis.
Such true direct words Paula thank you for breaking it all down like that. My two older brothers ended up with two sister from the same family. My one brother ended up marrying the one as she was pregnant quite young. He was only 3 years older than her. When she was around us she “new” about absolutely everything and no subject was unlimited. She loved the sound of her voice and all the exaggeration was unbelievable. She had been sadly burned when her top caught fire from a young age and had terrible physical skin scars. She used this for everything! She led my brother a dreadful life and he was at despair. She physically attacked and broke so many bones on him at different times it was sad to see. She was the only mom in the world and new everything from day one was sickening.
My older brother gave his wife everything and after 4 years of marriage said she wouldn’t have a baby as it would ruin her figure. Never said that at the beginning though so my brother was gutted. She walked out and went back to a boyfriend. After the divorce she promptly got married to a man who looked just like my brother and had 2 daughters in quick concession. Totally manipulative heart breaking and a family of liars cheats and narcissistic daughters. Their father was a push over too so their mother was a narcissist as well.
All the time I was thinking about Megan Markle and there was a tick next to each character. Haven’t seen Remy for a while he is such a loyal companion to you. Get a dog not a person to love you then you know exactly where you stand. Is unconditional love a dog gives each day 🐕🙌
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My father protected us but now I understand what he suffered at the hands of my mother ❤️
I was in a relationship with a female narc for a month and it knocked the stuffing out of me. One point u missed out mam is they will go to any extreme to maintain their physical appearance, mine had a couple of surgeries too. Plastic surgery is common with a female narcissist.
25 yrs with the “godly” narcissistic wife. Flicked me the day after my birthday telling me she had an affair 7 yrs ago. Hooked me with a pregnancy. And this video is a very accurate description of her traits. Thanks.
I’m working through Don Barrow’s book.
Sounds exactly like you're describing parasitical patrisha. A malignant narcissist that I escaped last year! It baffles me how these miss wired people are all very similar in the way that they operate and try to go about a 'normal' life . There is no happy ending when dealing with a narcissist! GOSO
Good to hear someone finally talk about the bi-sexual factor. I have also observed from 2 female narcs - that they will not compliment nor comment on your photo's that you text them or post. Only for love bombing purposes.
Yes. Mine always said I didn’t except her for who she is .. it caused massive drama throughout the course of our transactionship .
I am a gay female and would never have taken up residence with a bisexual female .. I simply wouldn’t have .. no judgement here , but to me you are either homosexual or heterosexual..she is now with her affair partner who is a male .. I’m sure he knew about me so it’s hard for me to feel compassion for him.
He is about to go through some of the darkest moments of his life .
Kill steal and destroy is all a narc does .. after this experience I probably will be single for the rest of my life ..She didn’t tell me she was bisexual until I was well and truly hooked. They will be whomever they need to be in order to get that supply
@@darcybarwick3766 - I'm so sorry that happened to you. I am glad you are free of her. I know 2 "heterosexual" married women that used and fed on a gay female with an emotional affair for their supply. Vicious. How evil that their husband had no idea because the emotional affair was with another female.
Don't Believe Everything You Hear yes it is really never usually and emotional affair .. unless there’s too much distance involved.. They always find away to cheat in the psychical
@@darcybarwick3766 - true
So interesting . My aweful ex Narc called me a narcissist once, I spent time in hospital after the discard and was assured I’m a huge empath! As it turns out he is the bisexual. Proudly empathetic 🤲🤲🤲🤲
Just summed up my soon to be ex wife in 15 min. She is very attractive and used her sexuality to lure me in. Mirrored my desires in life and even my personality at times. Chewed through my savings, lied non stop, cheated all the time, and some how her poor behavior was because of something I did. This is a woman who is never wrong and I mean never wrong. I wised up and ended it but not after much damage to my life. Everything you said is spot on. The hard part is trying to understand what just happened. My head is spinning. Can’t explain why even after the manipulation and the gas lighting and stealing and cheating and rage fits, I somehow find myself missing her. I am completely destroyed by all of this. I got out, had to bribe her to leave my home (money and a car) and it’s been two weeks. She is of course on to her next supply while I am left picking up the pieces trying to figure out a way to move forward. The red flags were there. Sometimes I wonder if I am the narcissist because to hear her tell it I am a controlling monster that mentally abused her. Keep in mind this is a woman with no ambition or drive of any kind, laid around my house smoking pot and shopping. Hardest part is the kids, I took her and her two children in, loved them unconditionally. Last thing she said to me (talking to her 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter) “don’t worry guys, we don’t need this fucking loser, mommy’s gonna go find a real man that knows how to take care of us” I was speechless. I’m still speechless. God give me the strength to glue myself back together. Hardest experience of my life…. Thank you for the education and the video!
It’s early days Benji…keep caring for yourself now to heal 🌹🌹
I couldn't believe it when I heard you mention spiders eating their mates-! I have always likened the female narcissist in my life in the spirit as a spider! She makes a "web"-fake facade of a "do-gooder", exalting herself as a "hero" to people , lying about her attributes/talents, etc., feigning friendship as a facade for her narcissistic supply, and especially with her husband-wrapping him up and keeping him "immobile" (he is a quarter of the man he used to be and wasting away!). Odious!
I believe Jezebel can manifest in both male and female...
YES! Leviathan is even more malicious. A twisting spirit.
@@sandrathomas2893 Yes!
gender?!
it no longer seems to matter much at all...
@@theresefournier3269 Isn't that the truth Therese!!!!
@@lisarossiter9809 too many young ones, have already (from things taught in schools) to become what they are not. If a parent strongly objects, they lose the child.
Then they get to change it all. Wardrobe and all.
Mum can pay the bill.
Wow! 🤔
Believe it or not, I found out about my now ex-husband’s four year relationship with a woman (he claimed to have met at work, but - as it turned out…he actually met her on Ashley Madison), through my Instagram account. She liked one of the photos I posted, so I went to her account to see who she was - and, unbelievably…there was her ‘secret’ life with my (then) husband… plastered out, page after page after page…for all the world to see. This was clearly her way of ‘outing’ him to me about their affair, because she wanted him to leave me and be with her, and he was taking far too long…to do it. Looking back, it has become very evident to me that she was as much of a narcissist as my ex-husband was. I did happen to learn much later, that she was not the only woman he was sneaking around having affairs with…on the Ashley Madison (cheaters) site, either. She was only one of many. Quite ironic, that one narcissist is ‘outed’ and faced with a divorce…due to his equally narcissistic affair partner stabbing him in the back, just like he stabbed his wife and children in the back…by having the affairs in the first place. Touché. They totally deserved each other.
How long did they last?
My Narcissistic ex, who married his affair partner (also a narcissist, unquestionably), said that this woman he became entangled with was “all about the sex” prior to them getting married (…and while my ex and I were still married). But then, once he married this female narcissist, the sex was no longer available to that degree.
Both my sisters, and my mom was where they learned it.
Thank you for your excellent video. What you say is 100% true imho. I can speak from my own experience. I 'was' "a female narcissist" in my younger years (I'm 68 yo now). (I'm realizing that I myself 'WAS' this way---I'd been in life-threatening accident at age 14. I "was" strong before my accident but sometimes my problems (both physical, mental/emotional) 'caused' or seemed to help me feel like I had to use manpulative techniques in order to get what I wanted/'when' I wanted. In recent years, I have continuously attempted to "grow" past my problems & disabilities related to both my accident & upbringing. Im trying to take more responsibility for myself. I got married, had 2 children & began to come to grips with the fact that my own father molested my oldest child when she was young [this was under my & my husband's, as well as my Mother's nose'] & I discovered that my father was a "covert narcissist" (but I didn't see it--I always had put my dad on a pedestal [as well as the fact that I tried to BE like him]. In 2020, I took a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery course & since that time I've been attempting to 'heal' my unhealed parts, discard some past erroneous beliefs & 're-learn' how to take care of myself & my family. I have to take reponsibility for my horrendous mistakes wrt many of the relationships I was in, in which I hurt people emotionally, physically & mentally. I also realize that what I have just said might "trigger" some people - & I'm sorry if this causes anyone pain--this is NOT my intention. I'm just wanting to "ome clean" & help myself to establish new, clearer & "healthy boundaries" for myself on into the future. (Last week, I also feel like I made a 'clean break' with one of my "so-called 'friends'" who I think is a "female narcissist" & I feel much better now after deciding that I no longer want to have 'anything' to do with her -- in fact, I will go "gray rock" or whatever I need to do to have No Contact whatsoever w/her. Thanks again for your helpful video(s).
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This is true. Such female Covert narcisists are deadly creatures and they operate along those lines, a lot of men get trapped by those predators. However, there are also quiet female Covert narcisists, the good-doer types who are also deadly to be in a transactionships with. All Covert narcisists are chameleons and poisonous snakes which are wolves in sheep’s clothing and they are the worst of them all.
I've noticed that about people nowadays. It has become acceptable for people to move in on people in a relationship regardless of whether they're physically with that person. If it happens to you it is nowadays considered your own fault. It's pretty horrible considering the fact that the people doing it don't even care about the person they're moving in on. So they mess up a relationship and harm people for essentially no reason. Women do it to men, men do it to women. It's just acceptable nowadays where everyone is either a "winner" or a "loser"
I listened carefully because I have to "step up" my learning to identify these people early and nip them in the bud. VERY HELPFUL! Thank you!
100 % CORRECT !! ... This was our Step-mother to a TEE !! : (
You have explained all of the Characteristics Perfectly - Dead-On ... !!!
Thank-you for sharing & God Bless : )
Seriously! Watch out for the NICE sneaky narcissist! They can wear that mask for years!
mask....yes, they can.
Yup caught on real quick
OMG. I completely agree.
O-h Yes they sure do - it's called bait and switch 👍🏼👌🏼🇬🇧
Thank you! This podcast is a huge relief! I'm not through the podcast yet but you have already nailed several tactics I stayed awake not because of love this was not a sexual relationship. That was brought up early and I passed didn't want to get involved with someone involved and her casual reference to her partner not going anywhere just didn't sit right but I thought aside from that she seemed really nice.
All the things you mentioned in this podcast happened. What puzzled me was I couldn't understand how far these people are willing to go. Just thank you!
These hollowed out synthetic hybrids can be nothing other than influenced by Demons. If Satan and Demons were kicked out of heaven where else would they go they can't make new bodies. So they would be miserable compared to having been in heaven. No wonder they're so angry, maybe?
The details in these podcasts and comments are important for personal closure so we don't repeat history.
Can't thank all of you enough.
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If you dated + escaped a narcissist who had an old supply he recycled for years who too was another narcissist, you find out pretty fast how competitive + evil the female version can be...xx
Amen
Dear Paula, your description of female narcist is excellent. I'm in healing process , still a bit lost after split but getting stronger after watching your videos. Many thanks
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I walked away from a family member. My family are perplexed at me. I just stay away from my family. They don't understand. I think codependence sometimes goes along with this. Because they can't seem to distinguish between what you are doing and how it is offending the narcissist. They can't even see through the evil of the situation. I went through this with a spouse that is why was able to see it in this other family member. My whole family is totally perplexed by my move. So I have decided I need to do what needs to be done for me. Also, I don't want any of their gifts or objects around me. I had gone to a counselor over twenty years ago he told me to watch the move Gaslight. But that was all he never said anything else about it. Weird.
Thank You, this really highlights the behaviours that I have seen in my sister. For years I couldn't get my head around it. This sums it up totally. You are doing a great service for people. Preventing abuse.
Diabolical, destruction, chaos and pain.. and that's while they're sleeping! 🙏☮️
Your content is gold. This sounds exactly like my ex. Her mask slipped occasionally after they love bomded the h3ll out of me. I would pick up on cues that made me feel like I was being conned. Confronting them about my concerns triggered crying fits and meltdowns. And it was difficult to put my foot down because the bedroom fun was out of this world. I eventually knew I played myself and in the end I was only screwing myself. It took over a year to feel like normal again. Guys, run.
What's truly heartbreaking, I'm going through this, 18 years together and I had no idea, I always thought I wasn't good enough as a partner.
I’ve been reading everything I can (and watching videos like this) to try to understand my son and his wife’s having completely cancelled me, trying to see narcissism in myself and find tools to rid anything like this from myself, my heart, my behavior, etc. It’s been 2 years since they cancelled me. They were married only a year and a half when that happened so I didn’t have a chance to get to know my daughter in law very well yet when it happened. My son is an empath. She is strong and beautiful and also seems so godly, sweet, kind and good. But I do know she is wounded and was hurt somehow deeply in her childhood, though I don’t know the details. The troubles I’ve had with them have always been my saying or doing something that offends her, then he has to confront me, and give me ultimatums, and I would find it hard to respond to these in any way other than being hurt myself, though I always tried to apologize and ask their forgiveness sincerely. I finally determined that it was my responses that pushed them over the edge and had them cancel me, and I’ve asked forgiveness for not having received their confrontations gracefully. But nothing, no response, no communication, none allowed either. This is totally NOT something my son would have ever done to me or to anyone, so I can only imagine that it is being demanded by her. As I’m continuing to learn about NPD I can only see evidence that it is not I who possess this disorder but possibly it is her. All I know is the cruelty of having been cancelled.
Sounds like a classic move, daughter in law is manipulating your son, to distance him from you. Sadly.
The female narcissist is also very fake and phony. Like they are acting. Something feels “off” about the way they talk and boast.
Our subconscious minds can detect when something is “not right” or incongruent about a person and you will feel uneasy around them.
I have been learning more to trust this intuition and feeling around people I meet.
This speaks to me. Thanks 🙏🏽
Thanks for this Paula! I appreciate you discussing this because so many other channels seem to imply that the narcissist is male or that it's more common. My ex and my daughter's mother is a covert narcissist. You describe it so well. But, it doesn't have to involve over-spending or overly sexual. Yes on the focus on sexuality and appearance but otherwise can be quite frigid and focused on morality, religion, cleanliness etc..., and in my case she wanted social status through me and "material free-riding" rather than directly spending money. The 'jezebel spirit' is really there (and before I would have dismissed this as religious fluff).., this person is pure evil and have no boundaries. There is no empathy whatsoever, and she doesn't love her daughter or the son she has from a previous relationship. The children are just instruments to present a facade, to control their fathers, and to suck supply from. The damage she has done to her son, including by alienating him from me, by over-controlling, by binding him to her in allegiance he dares not break,... is tremendous. He has no sense of self-worth and is at her mercy. She could silent treat him until he cried with panic and shivered with anxiety. She enjoyed the power it gave her over the child. Or she would unleash her fury. I got out but now have to fight for my daughter.., first through the courts. This female covert narcissist is as close you get to hell without actually going there. It is pure evil and malice. Very vicious and cunning smear campaigns, very vindicative, victim playing, blame shifting.., being the "innocent and vulnerable" woman and mother.. the facade against society and the triangulation with people, all this is there. Another important thing is seeking attention through hypocondria. A manipulation of our empathy and caring side. Now I can only think of how to protect myself and my daughter. My daughter is still a baby but I fear for what she may be exposed to in the future and I must protect her. She must be allowed freedom and support to grow. More awareness is needed on this (including by courts) so please keep the topic alive on your channel.
Great comment thanks
Needed to hear this these women are sick 🤮 keep em away from me. Thanks for the video very informative 💯
Oh boy! You have just described my relationship with my ex wife ( yes she did convince me that it was my idea to get married) we split 20 years ago, and while I knew it was a toxic relationship, I still had a total breakdown at its end. I’ve had a few relationships since, but none have lasted. I still have vivid dreams about my ex, and yes sex is right at the forefront of those.
I have two gorgeous daughters from my 1st marriage - the narcissistic ex seemed to look after them well - but her own narcissistic daughter was terrible to my youngest (I think her and her mother were a narcissistic double act?). Happily my eldest daughter was totally immune (I wish I had her strength!).
Thank you so much. This is so true and it happened twice. I have attainted freedom , but it was a struggle. After I discarded two years ago, I was handed my 14 year old daughter for six weeks recently, and now observe calls to her twice a day while she is with me. What are you doing etc etc. Daughter was told yesterday “ he is still in love with me you know “, while she is with the new supply and his family, trying to leave him after a year . I see this as a massive secondary hoover. I hope this helps other people. If it was bad for me, think how confusing it is for my little girl !!
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Perfectly said, 20 years of marriage which I have no idea until I stand firm to protect my boundaries. And things gradually changed. I'm from the Philippines and the word Narcistic is not popular. For us bad behavior is just a behavior. That's why some of my friends really don't understand what really happened. Even my kids were gaslighted. Right now I enjoy being me and enjoy what I normally do when I was young.
Some female narcs are under the radar and don't care much about make up or fancy clothes..👗👜💄
Very true..there’s all kinds
That's true because they identified what can make them detected and try to avoid it.. I dated a female doctor and was covert. She never dressed class clothes at work. She likes to use uniform to appear down to earth. Guess what. She said she is lesbian curious
She will act like she needs help from family, friends, and neighbors. Acting sweet and disorganized and hapless like a wounded deer. But she may be very pretty and bakes desert items often. Once she entices others to help her, she will set herself up as queen in the midst of the kind people now available to help her. The kind people have unwittingly now become her personal slaves. The diabolic part is she immediately sets up unwritten rules that state no one is allowed to talk to eachother in the group, to become friends. All interactions must go through her. Everyone must be happy and friendly, but it's all fake, not sincere. And everyone actual does obeys those creepy cult rules! All must follow that rule to a tee, under penalty of rejection. The rejection comes in little slights that are barely percievable, but repeated often, this drains self esteem. She herself is accountable to no one. And then you will find yourself isolated and confused on a whole other level. Very cold and creepy kind of lonely to even know that queen. Everything goes through the queen only. And like a soul vampire she drains energy. The members slaves are creepy enablers acting all happy and friendly. But its all sugary fake..Later it can be noted she is not godly or sweet but is envious and jealous of people, only wanting to steal other people's genuine ways and abilities, gifts people were given by God. Spider bite definitely. And she is a fierce competitive ladder climber, climbing on other people work and talent. She percieves herself as s big thinkers. Don't be impressed with with that queen, or anything she tells you about how wonderful she is. It is a real shocker on the day you realize she hates you and everything you stand for. Run for the exit. Do not try to repair your damaged self esteem. Get away and thank God he saved you from spider bite death. Even Satan comes as an angel of light, with a singing voice like an angel of light.
Praise God he delivered me from one! i am sooo free and out of the drama now!
Wow thanks for your comment
They talk in the 3rd person and are ALWAYS a victim of something.
Wow.... this is probably the best video I have seen on the subject. Your narration accurately depicts my experience - 5 yrs dating and 2 yrs committed. Your final warning is exactly what I went through but I missed it. I guess my vulnerability at the time didnt help. Such an eye opener. Wish I had seen this 1 yr ago, I won't feel as bad as I do now. But I will heal!
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You are a gem this information has confirmed suspicions I have had about a female I’ve known for almost 2 decade
Concerning my none romantic female friend I can’t tell you how many females she claims are jealous women in whom In my opinion are better looking and more talented than she is she seem to be terrible with romantic relationships but never owns any contribution to the failure of any of them she a nice looking woman but just always looks so sad gloomy and depressing but laughs a lot
Watching my brother or friend?? Lol...how about me!! 3 yrs of exactly what you just talked about....I've been out 7 days as of today....I'm worn out, push, pull ,push, pull.....starting fights absolutely over nothing...ohhh and canceling plans at the very last minute...horrible.....and she didn't care one little bit... she would say all the time if I'm so bad why do you keep coming back...wtf!?!
P..S.... the information you just gave is absolutely 100% correct and accurate I can't believe you have such a good understanding of what actually happens of the internal working of the narcissist....great job!!
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I just realised a woman I know is a narcissist. Like you said very conscious of appearance, highly sexualised, competitive with other women, arrogant in her confidence, superiority complex, no energy exchange but take, take,take. It constantly felt like a game…hot and cold, trying to keep me on my toes, warm and engaging, then cold and dismissive. Had an affair on her husband and took the kids, but played the victim.
I got her pegged early on, but doubted myself on and off so she was able to get closer and closer, (but I still kept her at arms length). It was a slow creep because she literally turned up in my day to day professional life (she changed career to my field). For some reason she is in hot pursuit of me for friendship. Since I left my job, I have detached more and more from her.
I won’t go into details, but what I thought was her on my coattails, has actually turned into a kind of stalker vibe. At the moment roads are pointing to her in pursuit of my husband.
I spoke with a work colleague that knew both of us. I shared my concerns and he warned me to watch my back, that she had proved to be very deceptive and manipulative in her dealings with him. He was surprised when I told him my concerns, because apparently she made out we were best friends!
This woman leaves a trail of destruction behind her. Me and my husband discussed this. And I said if she tries to lure you, just remember that she will actually destroy you in time. Like she did with her own husband
Walking OUT of that HeLL FOG is a Blessed moment !!!!!
I'm 45 and used to this from women, although it varies, sometimes it's quite extreme, but I've rarely seen a woman that hasn't exhibited at least some of these traits.
The covert ones especially, always have chambermaids ie people they can manipulate into doing their dirty work while they appear blamless/ divorced from what's going on. They are excellent at recruitment and subtracting loyalty from others. They appear very sweet and innocent but sting like scorpions while complementing you. Your gut spots them but your mind sometimes cancel your gut because they are actors ( beyond belief). Thank you lady you are a huge blessing. You actually KNOW what you speak about❤💐
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I’ve been lucky these days. I think everything goes in synchronicity in my life.
When I lissten to this, it is the Full Moon. Full Moon reveals secrets.
When I listen to this, I understand the marriage of my parents. I understand my role as a trashcan in the family: I have disliked my mom decades- and there hasbern a reason. Oh shit. I indersrand so many things from this video and I feel to cry for my father. That snake drstroyed so many lives and she herslef- was and is zero.
This full moon, will bring light.
What does this light mean to me? It is shit to realise that my family was not as perfect as my mom presented.
The most I worry my daughter who had to deal with this all.
But at the same time today, I found a wonderful young photographer in my country, he takes photos of the nature. His photos are full of love for nature and animals! I almost cried when I saw his photos on the internet.
Well, I bought a journal where wss a ohoto of a bear. I wanted to know more anout the photographer and found astonoshing photos full of love for nature.
So, what this mean is: there are good genuine people, too.
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Thank you very much I'm still learning about it my mother been telling me about these I love my mother and all mothers that understand this for their son safety
Hi Paula! I'm new to your channel and I so appreciate you. I really liked your one about when the old supply is the new supply. That's my situation right now. You're the only one I know of who has covered this very painful situation. Working on myself, but so many people don't understand why it bothers me so much. Am trying to work on my own healing, but it's very hard. Keep up your good work!
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My sister is one. Worst trait was you will always be made to pay. Even when you refuse a favour, she will say she offered, so you owe her. Or she will insist on fetching me from the airport, even though l had a train fare, then say "But l had to fetch you from the airport.", because she lost an irrelevant argument.
And a perfect Karen too boot..
They will be ultra nice pretending to be your friend when in actuality they are luring you into situations that give them opportunity to defame your character or humiliate you. Had a friend who would invite me over after bragging about me to her guy friends then shut shame me and tell untruths about my dating life post divorce in order to keep her guys friends attention to herself. It didn't work. So she took her role play to the next level which resulted in me leaving the "friendship"