Good Will Hunting | 'What Are You So Scared Of?' (HD) - Matt Damon, Minnie Driver | MIRAMAX

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  • Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
  • Skylar (Minnie Driver) asks Will (Matt Damon) to come to California, but his fear of abandonment may destroy them.
    In this scene: Will (Matt Damon), Skylar (Minnie Driver)
    About Good Will Hunting:
    The most brilliant mind at America’s top university isn’t a student, he’s the kid who cleans the floors. Will Hunting is a headstrong, working-class genius who is failing the lessons of life. After one too many run-ins with the law, Will’s last chance is a psychology professor, who might be the only man who can reach him. Finally forced to deal with his past, Will discovers that the only one holding him back is himself.
    Starring, in alphabetical order: Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Cole Hauser, Matt Damon, Minnie Driver, Robin Williams, Stellan Skarsgård
    About Miramax:
    Miramax is a global film and television studio best known for its highly acclaimed, original content.
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    Good Will Hunting | 'What Are You So Scared Of?' (HD) - Matt Damon, Minnie Driver | MIRAMAX
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Комментарии • 2,3 тыс.

  • @russell7790
    @russell7790 5 лет назад +8196

    When he tells her he got cigarettes put out on him. And the way her facial expression drops when she says “I didn’t know that”. Kills me so fucking hard. Such an amazing performance

    • @why_i_game
      @why_i_game 5 лет назад +168

      I've been rewatching all the scenes on RUclips, and I forgot about this one from the movie. Seriously powerful and well-acted stuff here. Their interactions when he told her about the cigarettes being put out on him was really incredible.

    • @blissfulbeats3690
      @blissfulbeats3690 5 лет назад +32

      yes, this is off the charts, I just watched it yesterday, and realized how good this scene is

    • @fleskel
      @fleskel 5 лет назад +67

      @The Rockall Times Jesus, hope you're doing better now, keep your head up, fuck those monsters.

    • @yvesheinrich5013
      @yvesheinrich5013 4 года назад +9

      I don't know. It looked more like she was just exhausted and desperate because of the bad things she learned that happened to Will, the more he keeps asking her about the things she presumably wants to know.

    • @Andy-yv7bu
      @Andy-yv7bu 4 года назад

      The Rockall Times get better man

  • @nerdbashingtime1536
    @nerdbashingtime1536 4 года назад +5722

    When she says “I didn’t know that” then starts crying is so powerful

    • @nerdbashingtime1536
      @nerdbashingtime1536 4 года назад +145

      @willie billie who hurt you?
      It's not your fault
      It's not your fault
      It's not your fault
      It's not your fault

    • @stephenolder4552
      @stephenolder4552 4 года назад +35

      @willie billie oh, is incel gonna be one of those words that we call anyone that says something that we dont like? Thus losing any meaning behind the word itself due to its overuse. I just wanna make sure cause i get a bit behind with my internet insults due to having a life.

    • @stephengrigg5988
      @stephengrigg5988 4 года назад

      @@stephenolder4552 really? Because you seem very emotionally responsive to the word. You remind me of white women comparing Karen to the N word

    • @stephenolder4552
      @stephenolder4552 4 года назад +15

      @@stephengrigg5988 no, im just amused by peoples stupidity. Someone says something i dont like? They must be every negative thing i can think of, regardless of if it applies or not.
      Perhaps you do the same flawed thing and thats why you felt the need to respond.
      Just because i point out the flaws in people, doesnt mean im overly emotional about it. Im just calling a spade a spade here.

    • @stephengrigg5988
      @stephengrigg5988 4 года назад +8

      @@stephenolder4552 I think your point came off as very accusatory, and aggressive.. like many RUclips comments.
      But you actually do have a point, and I can't even say you're wrong. I get where you're coming from. In the future, just be more diplomatic, and you won't distract from your points. You're very articulate, and I see you're intelligent.
      From one stephen to another lol

  • @Sombrit4
    @Sombrit4 4 года назад +8046

    If you play this on your speakers you can trick your neighbours into thinking you have a life

  • @vikingjedi573
    @vikingjedi573 5 лет назад +5343

    He's afraid of not being good enough. Of being rejected again. Of being hurt again. Working at that crappy job and hiding is how he protects himself.

    • @dominikdeluga5268
      @dominikdeluga5268 4 года назад +54

      Wow dude... wow...

    • @batirtzeurkiaga4973
      @batirtzeurkiaga4973 4 года назад +143

      He's just sick of it. That's what happens when you didn't get the love at home in the first place. Makes you think about many youngsters out there.😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

    • @stevelux9854
      @stevelux9854 3 года назад +87

      Aim low enough and you can hit the target every time.

    • @waragainstmyself1159
      @waragainstmyself1159 3 года назад +8

      @willie billie I guarantee if anyone is an incel here, its you.

    • @jamesdean922
      @jamesdean922 3 года назад

      @willie billie fuck off, he makes a good point.

  • @DarkSydeDK
    @DarkSydeDK 5 лет назад +1752

    At the end, where she is bent over, in such pain that it manifest physically and she can barely gasp out a sob. Maybe the most believable traumatic break up scene I've ever watched.

    • @jamesdefferson
      @jamesdefferson 3 года назад +68

      That sort of acting only comes from real experience of that pain

    • @Mira-gu6we
      @Mira-gu6we 11 месяцев назад +13

      He is just trauma dumping on her. This is why women should NEVER try to SAVE or FIX effed up men. Let em goto a therapist, women arent fit to fix crazy.

    • @tabaxi
      @tabaxi 9 месяцев назад +42

      @@Mira-gu6we that's kinda the opposite of what this scene is about though. he's trying actively not to 'trauma dump' on her by not being truthful with him and she's trying to get him to open up and be vulnerable with her. like you're right that partners shouldn't have to save or fix each other but if you go into a relationship thinking that honesty is equivalent to trauma dumping or that your partner is going to be emotionally perfect you'll realize really quick that's not how it works

    • @tmc31390
      @tmc31390 5 месяцев назад +8

      @@Mira-gu6weyou completely missed the point of the scene. Skyler wanted Will to open up, but he was afraid to do so. In other words, he wasn’t intentionally trying to trauma dump on her.

    • @ejagger
      @ejagger 3 месяца назад +1

      Having been there, it's as accurate as it gets.

  • @15lyonrob
    @15lyonrob 6 лет назад +8922

    Probably one of the most believable , emotive scenes ever filmed. Amazing acting by both, on of my top 5 films of all time

    • @mikewoodson6930
      @mikewoodson6930 5 лет назад +11

      Name a better movie?

    • @MsArun20
      @MsArun20 5 лет назад +10

      Can u please tell your top 5 movies..

    • @vladinosky
      @vladinosky 5 лет назад +44

      Shawnshank redemption? Perhaps a even higher caliber..

    • @99bits46
      @99bits46 5 лет назад +7

      @@vladinosky Shawshank? many people saw the ending coming... Without the plot twist, it's an ok movie. Forrest Gump and Pulp Fiction are both rivals to the movie in equal measures.

    • @vladinosky
      @vladinosky 5 лет назад +58

      @@99bits46 The plot twist is clearly not essential. The movie covers the questions of freedom and survival to alienation in a beautiful and smart way. That's why I liked it.

  • @Grayback1973
    @Grayback1973 6 лет назад +5685

    Minnie Drivers acting is absolutely phenomenal in this scene....WOW!!

    • @muybueno6576
      @muybueno6576 5 лет назад +61

      It must be difficult to trust someone like that in real life if they can just act any emotion at the drop of a hat

    • @nomaanabdulshukur8660
      @nomaanabdulshukur8660 5 лет назад +41

      Her kind of love someone shows to me , I am going to any place in the world she wants me to

    • @alexj2322
      @alexj2322 4 года назад +9

      I totally agree. She did an AMAZING job!

    • @omnipotato9231
      @omnipotato9231 4 года назад +6

      Where is she nowadays then??

    • @Bradoshado
      @Bradoshado 4 года назад +14

      Lying for real and acting are very different feelings. There is some overlap skillwise, but the ability to lie relies on doing it comfortably which is more of a personality trait than a skill.

  • @teamselfdevelopment3459
    @teamselfdevelopment3459 4 года назад +3593

    ANYONE who suffered abandonment/abuse or neglect as a child, or even as an adult KNOWS what this scene is about. They can feel it in their stomach and their soul. “You’re afraid I won’t love you back”.

    • @mr.anderson6040
      @mr.anderson6040 2 года назад +30

      Exactly unfortunately

    • @fightcinema3917
      @fightcinema3917 2 года назад +15

      my dad reminds me of will

    • @lewislabuff8862
      @lewislabuff8862 2 года назад +6

      I went through this except with a foster brother

    • @28vasko
      @28vasko 2 года назад +15

      Yep!!! Regardless of the manner or the degree of the trauma! It’s there’s and you feel it!

    • @rangojackson3798
      @rangojackson3798 Год назад +14

      And it’ll cause you to do just this right here….

  • @TheSmurf1973
    @TheSmurf1973 3 года назад +1359

    It's even more heartbreaking when he says "I don't love you" and she mouths "you do" whilst her world is turning upside down. Great scene!

    • @serpentine1983
      @serpentine1983 2 года назад +68

      Never heard it before. Ty for pointing that out. Makes the scene a lot better. Even though I didn't need to hear it to know that she knew he did actually loved her, so it didn't change anything in the movie for me.

    • @FreePalestine1love
      @FreePalestine1love 2 года назад +37

      It is so realistic. When the pain is so severe it knocks the wind out of you.

    • @neilmccomsey9550
      @neilmccomsey9550 Год назад +14

      Wow. I never noticed that.

    • @nr7701
      @nr7701 Год назад +10

      3:44

    • @Metusalem979
      @Metusalem979 Год назад +12

      Thought she said «you don’t .. (love me?)». But yeah it’s you do

  • @-Vitalis-
    @-Vitalis- 5 лет назад +6684

    _... I don't love you._
    In other words: _I don't love myself, therefore I can't love others._

    • @ginniekinz5401
      @ginniekinz5401 5 лет назад +29

      It's Candy Time Boys and Girls very true!

    • @mrwick379
      @mrwick379 5 лет назад +38

      Very very true

    • @alcapone3212
      @alcapone3212 5 лет назад +12

      No

    • @mrwick379
      @mrwick379 5 лет назад +61

      Goat Man, what? Lol how do you interpret her trying to be a saint instead of a partner? In what way. She was the one opening herself up to be a partner and overlooking his background/shortcomings. Dont get this take of yours at all

    • @mrwick379
      @mrwick379 5 лет назад +61

      Goat Man. Thats a good point however. I dont think she tried to force his hand. She simply figured out his lie about his 12 brothers and that forced his hand. I dont think she intentionally forced his hand in a malicious way or trying to be a saint. But yes she didnt know the best way to deal with his past because she had never encountered someone like him as they are from two different world. So it was more of a case of misunderstanding. And the whole premise of the movie is that Will had a hard time opening up because of the past. He realized it was him not her. Hence the whole turning point in the movie was when Sean gave him the speech of “its not your fault”. So Sean helped him realize his self blame self sabotaging ways which is not loving yourself and in turn not being able to love skylar. But he realizes it in the end hence him driving to California to find her. It was his arc changing not hers. Skylar was great to him. But I see your point too. Good stuff 🤝

  • @circuscharlie9858
    @circuscharlie9858 5 лет назад +797

    "Honey, I didn't know that" 💔

    • @kathconserv
      @kathconserv 4 года назад +38

      Mic Vensa she didn’t know. She loves him so much.

    • @rahulpandey2022
      @rahulpandey2022 4 года назад +2

      So your love will generate only when I have been tortured

    • @user-xs3og8us3d
      @user-xs3og8us3d 4 года назад +2

      ww

    • @armaan1091
      @armaan1091 4 года назад +7

      Rahul Pandey
      No... if that was the case she wouldn’t have asked him to go to California, or have slept with him.
      You’ve been with a woman before, right? These are typically signs that women will display when they have feelings for you.

  • @Gary.009
    @Gary.009 5 лет назад +1411

    3:47 you can hear her say "you do" ever so sofly

    • @hyethga
      @hyethga 5 лет назад +184

      Very good catch. I've watched this scene multiple times, but it's clear that when she says that her voice is quite literally breaking apart. Phenomenal acting.

    • @karchet77
      @karchet77 5 лет назад +79

      I actually thing she was about to say "You do... not" like really upsetd but her voice broke and just said "you do...". She didn't finished the phrase.

    • @samjensen9795
      @samjensen9795 4 года назад +6

      Well spotted

    • @aaliyahrussell8996
      @aaliyahrussell8996 4 года назад +3

      Cyber0135 wow i just realized that 😭😭

    • @medusaaurora7135
      @medusaaurora7135 4 года назад +27

      I think she was about to say 'you don't' but her voice cracked

  • @ODjangoo
    @ODjangoo 8 лет назад +2791

    3:42 One of the most realistic heart-break cries I've seen on screen

    • @GoodBloodGames
      @GoodBloodGames 7 лет назад +20

      seriously!

    • @Manas-co8wl
      @Manas-co8wl 6 лет назад +98

      That girl has seen something irl.

    • @LorenHelgeson
      @LorenHelgeson 6 лет назад +72

      Saw this movie for the first time a week ago. Holy shit, that moment tore me up. I kept thinking to Will "what the hell are you doing!?"

    • @katadn5153
      @katadn5153 6 лет назад +54

      Loren Helgeson when u look at it form his point of view it's actualy even more heart breaking

    • @Name-jw4sj
      @Name-jw4sj 6 лет назад +56

      She was incredible in this part! Especially at 2:50, when she finds out that his foster dad tortured him with the cigarettes. Her facial expression when she finds out was awesome.

  • @jisa39
    @jisa39 Год назад +337

    3:43 That is EXACTLY how you cry when your heart gets broken.

    • @MacTac141
      @MacTac141 Год назад +36

      When you can’t even find the air to cry or make a noise…god I have been there and this is such a portrayal of not even sadness, but the pain

    • @jisa39
      @jisa39 Год назад +5

      @@MacTac141 You said it

    • @nalyk8588
      @nalyk8588 Год назад +11

      my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because i need to sort the little issues i have out because its too hard for her... this is exactly how i’ve been crying for the past 24hrs off an on. I just wish she would stay around to help me through it, just like this girl wants to in this movie but i just don’t think she loves me anymore...
      Happy new year!

    • @jisa39
      @jisa39 Год назад +6

      @@nalyk8588 I’m sorry for you

    • @tomasrodriguez8296
      @tomasrodriguez8296 Год назад +3

      @@nalyk8588 go to the gym bro, and breeth

  • @telephantasm4070
    @telephantasm4070 4 года назад +525

    The part where she says "I didn't know that". God... It just gets me every time.

    • @lucaaz14
      @lucaaz14 2 года назад

      Same

    • @baccaruda1970
      @baccaruda1970 Год назад +17

      And she finally starts crying right as he says he had cigarettes put out on him. When she loses her breath when he tells her she doesn’t love him. Of the fine acting I’ve ever seen in my life, this has to take the cake. She really nails this whole scene.

  • @WOok2a
    @WOok2a 6 лет назад +4167

    It's a defense mechanism

    • @prod6mill.512
      @prod6mill.512 6 лет назад +78

      WOok2a very complex and layered

    • @king_supreme1102
      @king_supreme1102 6 лет назад +33

      Naw he just being a dick

    • @Zarathos91
      @Zarathos91 6 лет назад +137

      I am a complete dick to the girls I like and they end up not talking to me anymore, is that some sort of defense mechanism because I have been let down by exes in the past?

    • @mrraretwinkie
      @mrraretwinkie 6 лет назад +49

      Brayden Wormer Might be a bit of both, actually.

    • @Zarathos91
      @Zarathos91 6 лет назад +64

      So, I'm a dick and I have a defense mechanism against love. Recipe for relationship disaster.

  • @maximillianosaben
    @maximillianosaben 5 лет назад +510

    You don't even have to be in a relationship to feel how much this scene hurts. Just fantastic film-making!

    • @ZachAgape
      @ZachAgape 3 года назад +4

      For sure… I've never been in a relationship yet but boy I feel how much it hurts being in love with someone who doesn't love you back, and that scene displays how much it hurts amazingly.

    • @Oujouj426
      @Oujouj426 Год назад +20

      @@ZachAgape That's not quite what's happening here. Will *does* love her back. The issue here is Will's past trauma. He's incredibly sensitive to losing her or to be hurt by her, so instead his defense mechanisms force him to end things on his own terms right then and there before he is vulnerable and must place his trust in Skylar. The people who were supposed to love and care for him in his youth have destroyed his ability to trust in others by doing neither and abusing him.

    • @ZachAgape
      @ZachAgape Год назад +3

      @@Oujouj426 Aye, good analysis, thanks for sharing!

  • @keeganmclean2017
    @keeganmclean2017 2 года назад +210

    The subtle, blink-and-you-miss-it moment where she kisses his forehead just before he says "I don't love you" is so perfect. This is exactly how it goes. You want to savor the last few moments of innocent happiness before the crushing reality falls upon you. Such a brilliant detail...

  • @ahlaw8201
    @ahlaw8201 3 года назад +297

    Minnie Driver’s acting is superb- the inflection in her facial expressions when he transitions to something painful about his life, is so fluid & believable - it’s easy to forget this is a fictional movie. Their synergy together is remarkable, really well done 🙏🏼

    • @JohnFergusoFrame
      @JohnFergusoFrame 8 месяцев назад

      I'm honored for yor life in 🎭 j f framexx

  • @jadersoto4166
    @jadersoto4166 4 года назад +267

    Let’s take a brief moment to admire how her face illuminates as the idea of him coming along with her runs through her mind. Wholesome.

  • @renaissancejuan
    @renaissancejuan 5 лет назад +1364

    I just noticed that Skylar quietly says "You do" after Will says he doesn't. Damn....

    • @rahulpandey2022
      @rahulpandey2022 4 года назад +26

      Yeah...because she is playing emotional game and will stays top of every game

    • @pugtie4695
      @pugtie4695 4 года назад +7

      Holy fuck.

    • @stephengrigg5988
      @stephengrigg5988 4 года назад +173

      @@rahulpandey2022 who hurt you brother?

    • @MarkWrightPsuedo
      @MarkWrightPsuedo 4 года назад +93

      To me it seems as though she is repeating his words, "you don't..." and then breaks down. She is so utterly believable in this scene, the pain in her face, the heartache at his rejection, and the tenderness she shows him before he crushes her with "I don't love you," is remarkable. They just did an awesome job in this scene!

    • @msctbeats
      @msctbeats 4 года назад +7

      @@MarkWrightPsuedo I interpreted it that way as well.

  • @onkardogra1011
    @onkardogra1011 4 года назад +361

    The people in the dorm next to them: "I'm sure there are two sides to this story"

  • @rociovaldecantosmata5432
    @rociovaldecantosmata5432 3 года назад +144

    There is one thing on this scene that is just SO HUGE. The fact that at 3:17 the look on his face just says he has realized that he almost hit the person he loves more in the world. I think he also left her because he was afraid of becoming the type of monster he was raised by. That is real shit he got inside.

  • @graciezakaib9629
    @graciezakaib9629 3 года назад +136

    “Hunny I didn’t know that” The way her emotions just completely crashed upon her, and the way her voice expressed it in that simple sentence. It completely made me bawl. The crack and tenderness in her voice..

  • @2011Oly
    @2011Oly 5 лет назад +355

    2:50 was the best part of the scene, the raw emotion

  • @whengrapespop5728
    @whengrapespop5728 3 года назад +140

    This scene is not about him rejecting love and not wanting to change - it’s about him being ashamed of who he is and his past, and he’s afraid of what she will think of him when she finds out. He’s not rejecting love and change, he has a solid fear of rejection itself (fear of rejection is quite common for people with childhoods like that, I struggle with fear of rejection myself). And so, he acts out in anger because he’s not used to being vulnerable (just as he acts out in anger before breaking down in front of the therapist), and when he shared the truth about his life and who he is, he feels as posed and rather says “I don’t love you” because now that he’s ‘revealed too much’ about himself, it’s easier to run away. It’s a very accurate in regards to fear of rejection, rejecting others before they can reject you, even if your heart wants otherwise. It’s a prison.

  • @kalebarancelovic
    @kalebarancelovic 4 года назад +127

    I guarantee this scene is why she got nominated for an Oscar. Stunning performance. You can feel her devastation

  • @TheLockdownKidNYC
    @TheLockdownKidNYC 7 лет назад +3634

    I mean, the scene is supposed to point out Will's rejection of both love and change. I get that but I can't help but think packing up your entire life to go be with a girl that you haven't really clocked in that much time with is a really dumb impulsive move and I don't blame him for not wanting to go along with it for the very reason he said: "What if I'm not who you think I am a week out there and then we're stuck together and you resent me?" That's a valid reason and shines a light on how premature a decision like that is.

    • @WolfODonnelfan
      @WolfODonnelfan 7 лет назад +486

      That's the brain speaking, the heart is already packing it's bags. Sometimes you just gotta be a bit of an idealist and take a chance. Things usually work out in the end.

    • @TheLockdownKidNYC
      @TheLockdownKidNYC 7 лет назад +569

      Yeah...
      No. I'll listen to my brain on this one.

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger 6 лет назад +409

      Your brain is the biggest trickster you'll ever meet. The smarter you are and the more useful your brain is to you, the more dangerous it is, too. It'll close doors you didn't even think existed unless you pay attention to what it's doing.
      Don't rely on your intellect entirely. Some things are just instinct, especially the things that hurt. Go toward the pain; don't run away from it. Ask yourself why does it hurt. What is causing it?

    • @WizWinkle
      @WizWinkle 6 лет назад +124

      Cuz he'd be stupid to not see that the pros outweigh the cons. She is beautiful, smart, wealthy, and has a great personality. The whole package, so you are right that this scene shows his rejection because he is so insecure. "You can't love someone, if you don't love yourself."

    • @WizWinkle
      @WizWinkle 6 лет назад +53

      YES! Everything you just said is a possibility, no argue there. But he won't even TRY, and if you never try and just go through life with the mentality that you will always be secondary to a women then you will never put in the real COMMITMENT it takes to built love. Just my opinion.

  • @bartonez123
    @bartonez123 3 года назад +102

    Minnie gives an absolute acting masterclass here. Up there with one of the best acting performances I've ever seen.

  • @omomom84
    @omomom84 3 года назад +68

    Minnie's Driver role is the most underestimated in this movie. She create a phenomenal character, full of love, understanding and obove differents of theirs worlds. She was perfect and should had the best supporting actress oscar for this role. Peace!

  • @colorfullyme
    @colorfullyme 3 года назад +289

    As beautiful as this scene is, my heart aches for Skylar. Of course we do and should empathize with Will here, but if you have ever had the experience of telling someone your Dad died and had them not be there for you because they were too wrapped up in their own pain, then you'd know just how strong Skylar is. I wish I could just let it go the way she does....

  • @onerbfromtn4320
    @onerbfromtn4320 2 года назад +89

    This scene and indeed most of this movie eviscerated me - I always feel it all the way to my soul. I am 47 now, happily married with a wonderful family but back when this came out I had to leave the theatre because I was back exactly "there". The internal level of shame and extreme rage are difficult to express in any meaningful way without it boiling out all at once, which breaks you apart to a level of self- destruction and a jet black rage unimaginable to anyone viewing it and experiencing it with a loved one. It doesn't make any sense all the piercing, all encompassing seamless rage coming from a person whom is never like that until they are back THERE again inside their head - there and then. Sights, sounds, smells - you've got it all even if long ago you tried to forget it ever happened. And you endlessly tear yourself to shreds internally - "I should have been better, should have known what to do, should have done something", you are unworthy, unwanted, unlovable, unforgivable, without worth by any measure because that is what you heard, learned, had beaten into you for decades. So you do the worst thing possible - you wrap it up in an impenetrable case, surrounded by armor, masks, and parts you play, praying always in terror that no one ever sees through all that self defense to the actual "you", and especially that part of you.
    You are not worth anything, they cannot love you, and no one will ever love you or think you are worth anything especially if they see what you feel is the real you. This scene is very mild compared to how I have felt and acted at times, some even recently as buried pieces come to the surface and the rage/overreaction of a still terrified kid come pouring out like a broken dam - literally 20+ years later and with tremendous shame and guilt from then and your actions/feelings now. And just like Skylar, my wonderful spouse had no clue as to why some times you could never get close to me - why I overreacted so much to small bumps in the road or only very mildly annoying circumstances, and why there always seemed to be some hidden secret from even her, why I did not really trust anyone, why I kept my circle so terribly small. She discovered roughly in 2011 that I was not reacting to the "now" when some of the things that were hidden and glossed over for years and years were discovered. We had been married 16 years at the time - and she had NO clue.
    And my situation was nothing, very much nothing compared to some I'm sure - but a lot of my life teetered between chasing so very hard joy and literal borderline destruction of self and not really sure which was preferable. And now just as when this came out, I cannot stop the tears, anguish, and fear. But have hope, folks whom have endured through terrible situations. My life is fantastically blessed and I'm doing my best to make sure that it ends with my generation within my family. DON'T YOU GIVE UP, and people whom have someone like this in their lives, DON'T GIVE UP ON THEM. Many, many times I was saved by people some of whom had no idea they did so nor what it really meant to me by them just being involved and caring enough to do so - even if they did not realize it. Worry not for me, as the countless scars have made a toughened hide indeed - inside and out - but you are important here and can get through this as I have (mostly) put this in the past. It does pop up now from time to time, but I know I can get through it and so can you. Dont. Quit. On. You.

    • @cv6176
      @cv6176 2 года назад +5

      From a 48yr man, I just want to say thank you for sharing, it resonated deeply. Best wishes to you, and your family

    • @onerbfromtn4320
      @onerbfromtn4320 2 года назад +3

      @@cv6176 best wishes to you also. It gets better!

    • @MrBojangles788
      @MrBojangles788 2 года назад

      Dont fck with me one rb, not you

    • @onerbfromtn4320
      @onerbfromtn4320 2 года назад +6

      @@MrBojangles788 it's not your fault... and with much love. It's not your fault.

    • @jinkim23
      @jinkim23 2 года назад +1

      Many of us were unwittingly infected with shame.

  • @SpaceMonke99
    @SpaceMonke99 4 года назад +59

    The way the hopeful smile fades at 1:05 is a really small nuance but I really like it. You can see the second the anxious excitement is so suddenly dashed. I can feel the crushing disappointment from the anticipation of a yes to the exact opposite answer you wanted. In those moments it's like you think the outcome you want will make you so happy that it can't go wrong, then you are shocked when you get the response you weren't hoping for. It's the little things like that which make the scene so brilliant and so authentic.

  • @fil4648
    @fil4648 3 года назад +55

    She will definitely be remembered for this scene. Well done Minnie Driver, this was acting at its finest.

  • @mr.e3765
    @mr.e3765 5 лет назад +164

    This is one of the most powerful scenes from any movie I’ve ever seem

  • @AnnaLVajda
    @AnnaLVajda 6 лет назад +272

    He is trying to protect her that's what he's scared of. He knows telling her about his ugly past will change her perception and the relationship but if he isn't honest then it's a shallow relationship. True intimacy is difficult for him because no one has really ever cared for him before so he assumes no one really wants to. I don't know if he has abandonment issues he probably is more concerned with seeming to abandon his friends for a woman he isn't sure of yet. He tells her the truth asks if she wants to save him thus giving her a sample of what she might be dealing with so she can really decide if she still wants him. She tells him later on the phone that she loves him so now the ball is in his court and he decides to pursue her. It's actually an intelligent progression of their relationship. Guys who pretend to have no issues are far more insensitive. This is a very respectful display so she can make a reasonable decision in regard to her own feelings.

    • @josh2x226
      @josh2x226 5 лет назад +33

      Anna Vajda you are correct for majority of it but I don’t agree with your first statement. He didn’t lash out because he was trying to protect her he did that because he was trying to protect himself. They repeatedly mention that in the movie.

    • @intel1944
      @intel1944 5 лет назад +6

      Yes and no. He knew already that he is using this defense mechanism (he said it in oje of the sessions) so maybe he was defending her as well as he knew that he would break everything up when everything is getting serious and she says that she cares for him. Because of Wills trauma of abondonment he thinks that nobody cares for him ever, and if someone does care then after his tantrums they wont, because it is much easier to leave them before you get too attached..and risk again with your whole psychological situation

    • @SabatSch95
      @SabatSch95 4 года назад +7

      He's scared of how she will look at him once she knows the depths of his history of abuse. Thing is that people (and especially women, if it comes to victimized men) don't look at you the same once you admit to these things. I'm not saying what he did was "right", but I understand his reaction. If I was abused the same way he was, I'd never share it with anyone, least of all my partner.

    • @subhamshaw1204
      @subhamshaw1204 4 года назад +1

      @Anna Vajda wise words 👍

    • @torababdullah7952
      @torababdullah7952 4 года назад

      So the question still stands. Will is right to be keeping things from her because in his mind it's better a risk to not tell her everything and have a shallow but perfect relation than admitting and sharing everything to later find out he gets rejected because of sharing all these.
      *HOW THE HECK DO YOU FIND SOMEONE PERFECT FOR YOU?*
      Everyone tries to look perfect and hide their flaws. They don't wanna lose relation for any of their lackings or history. No one is perfect but no one is gonna admit that! So how do you find someone who is perfect for you????

  • @antoniotolentino8108
    @antoniotolentino8108 Год назад +48

    As someone that has a fear of abandonment I understand this scene so well the pain is so unimaginable.If you never experienced it you won’t understand and he is explaining it to her it’s so sad but so accurate.

  • @s.g.7572
    @s.g.7572 3 года назад +667

    Those opening lines where she thinks he's just being coy, playing hard to get, when actually you can so clearly see his walls instantly going up, just brilliant character writing for both of them.

  • @CityBoyDubstep
    @CityBoyDubstep 5 лет назад +45

    3:14 she's so emotional when she says "i love you" what a great actress

  • @elah1023
    @elah1023 4 года назад +42

    This scene kills me every single time. I understand his problem and I`m so f...ing sorry for him. When we can recognize ourselves in fictional scenes like this one it is a proof of top notch acting. Hats off.

  • @davidpaz9389
    @davidpaz9389 4 года назад +80

    I used to be a severely detached person. In my 20s and early 30s it was easy to spit a little game, bed a woman for the night, and leave it at that. My impediment was I felt unworthy of anything real because I and everything around me wasn't perfect. Never the perfect time. Never the perfect place. Never the perfect job. Etc. The walls I had put up stemmed from a resentment at how poor I was growing up. I really let that cripple me more than it should have and it about irreparably stunted my emotional development. I was almost a ghost in high school. In my mid 30s I found my imperfect woman and we're perfect together. We just celebrated our 8th anniversary and we're coming up on 11 years together total.
    Take the chance.

  • @SarahWilk100
    @SarahWilk100 5 лет назад +59

    When I saw the film this scene totally caught me off guard I literally started crying.

  • @bachiano1
    @bachiano1 5 лет назад +140

    Holy Fuck. That was really difficult to watch. Brilliant work of Art.

  • @OnlyTwoShoes
    @OnlyTwoShoes 4 года назад +19

    Raw, emotional acting. Man I miss 90s movies.

  • @downhomegirl5
    @downhomegirl5 4 года назад +68

    He has avoidant attachment style & there is nothing more painful then being in love with someone that is afraid to love & be loved. Abuse is a terrible thing but, you can overcoming it & Love is that thing to do it.

    • @destroyermaker
      @destroyermaker 2 года назад +1

      Wow this is my ex to a tee. Explains so much. I was willing to give everything I had to her but she kept shutting me out, suppressing emotions, etc. Eventually I blew up and that was the end of it. She grew to hate me.

  • @rishab8world
    @rishab8world 4 года назад +45

    I felt like Minnie Driver in a recent fling I had.
    She was just so consumed with her own depression that she didn't see me standing there without judgement and with arms stretched to help her.
    Instead she just shut down and completely avoided everything.
    She thought I would never understand her pain. Not seeing that I've been thru my own share of it.
    Strange how art and life immitate each other.

  • @IDidntWantAHandleYouTube
    @IDidntWantAHandleYouTube 2 года назад +16

    Ugh the way she sobs at the end gets me everytime. Such a heartbreaking scene

  • @angel-4726
    @angel-4726 Год назад +40

    love how skylar reads will like a book in this scene whilst he thinks he's done such a good job keeping himself hidden from her all this time

  • @kingenvy4701
    @kingenvy4701 4 года назад +16

    The way he said I don’t love you was so cold blooded

  • @garrytalaroc
    @garrytalaroc 5 лет назад +31

    One of the best films Ive ever watched.

    • @kikio-rq9kx
      @kikio-rq9kx 7 месяцев назад

      I don’t know about all that.

  • @munir191
    @munir191 10 месяцев назад +6

    This is so well written. Will is a trauma survivor. Self sabotage is to him a familiar lonely place. Getting past trauma via shadow work and inner child reparenting requires putting on overalls and doing the hard work. To him, it is easier to sabotage and return to familiarity of his status quo than to reckon with his past.

  • @trique9776
    @trique9776 Год назад +11

    Amazing subtlety when she says "you do" (love me) right after he leaves. She knows in her heart that she truly loves him and is using a defense mechanism so as to not let anyone into his life because of fear of rejection he has developed because people have never loved him and always rejected him in the past.

    • @TeamMemeSupreme
      @TeamMemeSupreme 10 месяцев назад

      Holy shit I never caught that... thats amazing writing. Good catch!

  • @lourivas21
    @lourivas21 4 года назад +26

    This scene destroyed me because this is how I respond to people who attempt to form any deep connection with me. Just like Will, I am terrified that they will find out *something* they don't like about me and then they will realize I wasn't worth anything, and then they will go ahead and leave me.
    "You don't want to hear that shit" ~> "What, do I got a fcking sign on my back that says 'save me'? Do I look like I need that?" ~> "DON'T BULLSHIT ME!"
    I mean. I've never really *exploded* the way he did. But I throw reckless words just the same. It sucks. It hurts.

  • @johnj4363
    @johnj4363 4 года назад +12

    My now wife told me she loved me 1st. I told her I'm not saying that back because I don't feel the same way. Told her about my childhood, and she cried with me. She told me to take my time and she understands. I'm so glad I didn't push her away. Meeting her is the best thing to happen to me. That being said matt in the film is just a emotional wreck from his past, he's going off on her because he's starting to love her and that scares him more than anything because he only knows himself being with himself.

    • @elah1023
      @elah1023 4 года назад +3

      Respect to both of You.

  • @kenny75photography2
    @kenny75photography2 Год назад +13

    Such a great dramatic scene from both of them. Minnie's acting particularly is incredible in this scene and her best moment is when she says "you do" after Will says he doesn't love her. Phenomenal acting.

  • @jm8ney833
    @jm8ney833 4 года назад +63

    she was not trying to be a saint or stick her nose in his business . Is that her love for him is so intense , soo deep that it hurts her to see him act that way , so yes technically she does want to save him , save him from all his misery . She wants to see him be alright! That’s why she cries so intense when he says he doesnt love her .

  • @manuginobilisbaldspot424
    @manuginobilisbaldspot424 Год назад +7

    If you don't move, you can't get hurt. I don't just mean physically...I mean emotionally, mentally, psychologically. To be abused as a child is to inherit a feeling of worthlessness that NO ONE can shake. Except yourself. You can't be loved enough. You can't find someone 'stable' enough. The forces exist inside you, not out. In the movies, you have a fantastic shrink and a best friend who clearly values your growth enough to tell you to leave...in real life, you squander good relationships and friendships because that sense of insecurity and invalidation is a self fulfilling prophecy of broken bridges and words you can't undo. Eventually (hopefully) you get old enough to realize this...except for the people you really want the most, it is too late.

  • @JohnPierre-lz6vb
    @JohnPierre-lz6vb 3 года назад +12

    As a Young Man being abandoned as a Baby , abused by his adoptive family and friends for almost 17 -18 years i have to say this is very relatable.
    To relatalbe. I cried when i watched that scene.

    • @perturbedxtirade7428
      @perturbedxtirade7428 3 года назад +3

      Hope you're okay, John. You deserve the best.

    • @JohnPierre-lz6vb
      @JohnPierre-lz6vb 3 года назад +4

      @@perturbedxtirade7428 I really appreciate that. 🙏🏿

  • @mrsirman2177
    @mrsirman2177 Год назад +7

    I'm 29. I've never had a girlfriend or a really close friend. I know I unconsciously push everyone out under the excuse of not needing them or being better alone or never having been in love. But slowly I've come to admit to myself that that's bullshit. It's like i feel i dont deserve any of this maybe.
    I dont recall being abused by my parents or close relatives when I was a kid at all. Except for years of psychological and physical bullying from older classmates on at least 3 schools. But I'm not sure if its that, do you think there is something hidden in me? I'm not scared to face it, I'm scared to never being able to discover it, overcome it and remain in this false self. And now I am crying, and the worst part is that I don't know the reason

    • @JIKitty
      @JIKitty Год назад

      Oftentimes, things that seem small in comparison to other peoples trauma, are still totally enough to fuck someone up. You don't have to search for a "more valid" reason. Bullying is enough.

  • @msmith5121
    @msmith5121 3 года назад +11

    He is not only retreating verbally with his constant negative analogies, but in this scene, after she asks him to go with her, he is backing up physically as he begins getting out of the bed. He is in full retreat here with no intent on going anywhere...one of the most emotional and well acted scenes I have ever watched in a film.

  • @cnote2458
    @cnote2458 Год назад +10

    Damon was fantastic in this scene he is so believable he hurts my heart. But Driver actually rips my heart out. The way her whole demeanour changes through the argument. It takes a special talent to actually feel the characters confession and pain.

  • @No_OneV
    @No_OneV 5 лет назад +21

    Now i remember why i used to pause this movie every 10 minutes. This is some heavy stuff

  • @KorisnickoIme84
    @KorisnickoIme84 6 месяцев назад +5

    This scene is so real..My mother never loved and I'm like this (not so dramatic) so I push everyone away..it leads to shit*y life

  • @paulfitz6614
    @paulfitz6614 2 года назад +12

    Best part of this wonderful scene is when she says I want to help you and that just triggers him even more. That's wonderful dialogue written by someone who has been in a heated argument and said the word and witnessed it downward spiral.

  • @urbanespinoza9070
    @urbanespinoza9070 7 лет назад +24

    Minnie Driver didn't need shiny colors or tapping to deserve an award. So wonderful actress!!!

  • @stevesmith9447
    @stevesmith9447 5 лет назад +17

    Emotional wounding. We were raised to fear vulnerability, to regard it as shameful. We were expected to be perfect and to have no needs. When we failed, we were punished, and told we only had ourselves to blame. Our feelings don't matter - only what we can provide matters.
    We have feelings, but we learn to fear them. We grow tough or we die. Then, without meaning to, we fall in love, and love asks us to surrender that toughness. To bet it all on the least sure thing in the world because it's the only way we'll ever get that feeling of being deeply loved.
    She doesn't get that she's asking him to die for her. That's a doozy coming from someone who makes you feel safe.

  • @TheSandieRavage
    @TheSandieRavage 3 года назад +7

    Had goosebumps all through that. Phenomenal acting from both, you just don't see those kind of raw performances these days.

  • @Michael-kd2ny
    @Michael-kd2ny 7 лет назад +236

    She is a beautiful woman. I never really followed her acting, but its a good scene.

    • @Smokealotofblunts
      @Smokealotofblunts 6 лет назад +7

      She's in grosse point blank. Great film and she is really hot.

    • @ktolwal
      @ktolwal 5 лет назад +2

      no she' s not

    • @richy85
      @richy85 4 года назад +2

      She also voiced Jane in Disneys Tarzan

    • @Blueline3691
      @Blueline3691 3 года назад

      @@ktolwal opinions? I've never heard him.

  • @Simple5.0
    @Simple5.0 2 года назад +9

    This scene still holds up and is every bit as powerful as the first time I saw it. There’s a lot of scenes that are good in the beginning but a couple decade go by and they get cheesy but it hasn’t happened with this whole movie. This is a really good one.

  • @vlxxvndxr
    @vlxxvndxr 10 месяцев назад +4

    every time I watch this I always think how interested the neighbors are in this convo

  • @terrachristensen1835
    @terrachristensen1835 10 месяцев назад +2

    The was she is so gentle when she is talking about how if he says he won’t love her then she won’t call him or be in his life but she still holds him and kisses his forehead even while saying such painful things for her to say and him to her always gets to me such amazing actors it’s phenomenal

  • @janetn9942
    @janetn9942 3 года назад +8

    Such a gut wrenching scene
    You can feel her desperation love and pain 🥺💔

  • @Peterplayingguitar
    @Peterplayingguitar 6 лет назад +8

    I love movies and I've seen hundreds of them and i still think this is one of the best movies ever made. Great story, great script and stunning acting. Just wow on all levels.

  • @jameshackney7314
    @jameshackney7314 4 года назад +37

    So it obviously didn’t work out between him and skyler so he came back trained as an assassin and became Jason bourne, in the mean time his best friend is running around in a black suit calling himself batman. Just shows you never know where life is going to take you

  • @benedictjephcote6815
    @benedictjephcote6815 4 года назад +5

    Maths prodigy, child trauma, an autism condition called PDA - years after seeing this film (in its first week of UK showing) and I've been in close replicas of this scene.
    It's weird when a film seems to play out your life even before you've hit adulthood.
    From such a position, you appreciate those who are able to be like Skylar is here. The patience it takes. The ability to hear sincere words yet realise that's there's more complexity going on underneath.

  • @andrewcundill3660
    @andrewcundill3660 5 лет назад +10

    Will doing this is a complete defence mechanism. He knows he has potential but is afraid of future failures if he goes on to become more than he is. Lambeau, Sean, Skylar and Chuckie all have wonderful scenes in this movie in which they explain to Will that he needs to move on and take the opportunity to become something great. It is only at the end that Will realizes that the only one holding him back is himself and his inner demons from his childhood.

  • @alejandroalmeida4645
    @alejandroalmeida4645 6 лет назад +46

    And this is how a broken heart looks like :(

  • @infinitygauntlet101
    @infinitygauntlet101 3 года назад +8

    This fucking hurts when you are at Will's perspective. He knew that her life is not going anywhere if she stays with him and he doesnt want that to happen so he pushes her away. One of the most realistic breakups that Ive seen in movies.

  • @Bokaj01
    @Bokaj01 11 месяцев назад +5

    This encounter lingered with me till the end of the movie when we see him take off to go see her. Even if they met up and got together again, it's such a scar, she's so sweet and he really did a number on her soul.

  • @vincentarellano9332
    @vincentarellano9332 Год назад +5

    She is so great in this scene!! Minnie is amazing. And Matt omg , just one of the best acted scenes ever

  • @rednihilist
    @rednihilist 3 года назад +7

    Skylar breaks my heart in this scene. She was so happy & in love at the start & then it just all explodes.

  • @roshanneupane9818
    @roshanneupane9818 4 года назад +5

    Tbh this is the most difficult thing to do for an actor. And I am very confident that this is the most emotional scene I have ever encountered in any movie.Very true, very emotional, very much lovely and heartfelt.

  • @nohandlexyz
    @nohandlexyz 4 года назад +7

    So many great scenes in this movie. The acting in this one is exceptional.

  • @stickytones6891
    @stickytones6891 Год назад +12

    He actually had valid points about not jumping into something serious so spontaneously

  • @nickmoscatello9960
    @nickmoscatello9960 4 года назад +13

    I kinda went through an episode of this recently, yet I was on Skylar’s end. And it is hard to swallow. When you start falling in love and find out your partner is and has been in that much pain. It’s corrosive. It hurts you to find out. And it hurts even more to know you can’t undo the wrongs inflicted.

    • @cocob0l0
      @cocob0l0 4 года назад +4

      I’m going through the exact same thing right now in fact. We’re dating now, have been for about a couple of months but I had known him for about a year or so up until that point. He still suffers from all of the trauma and watching him hurt without being able to do anything to stop it kills me.

    • @nickmoscatello9960
      @nickmoscatello9960 4 года назад +5

      J my best advice is to just be comforting, listen, yet be stern and keep him anchored in the present when you feel he’s delving too deep into the past.

  • @sacredstarlight9446
    @sacredstarlight9446 4 года назад +13

    It really is just a defense mechanism to prevent abandonment

  • @chrisphares4092
    @chrisphares4092 6 лет назад +114

    if i had a woman like her(personna and mentality),id stick with her,period,for life

  • @joshwilliams7728
    @joshwilliams7728 7 лет назад +267

    3:41 savage level 102%

    • @morganbailey6513
      @morganbailey6513 5 лет назад +21

      That shits sad

    • @99bits46
      @99bits46 5 лет назад +16

      It would be savage if Will truly meant what he said

    • @99bits46
      @99bits46 5 лет назад +11

      @purplefashion03 you haven't seen the movie, here's the SPOILER
      Will said "I don't love you just to win the argument", Later in the movie he goes off trying to win the girl back.

    • @alexmonro1711
      @alexmonro1711 5 лет назад +1

      It was brutal

    • @infamoussydney1697
      @infamoussydney1697 5 лет назад +2

      Thats some mgtow shit

  • @pranaybhanot4057
    @pranaybhanot4057 3 года назад +3

    Phenomenal writing and direction only topped by the even better acting. What a masterclass this movie was ... sad we don’t get to see such movies these days.

  • @Noraa666
    @Noraa666 3 года назад +6

    Growing up in an emotionally/physically abusive home this hits HARD....

  • @Nomoredrama2000
    @Nomoredrama2000 Год назад +2

    Every time she cries "I love you!" It tears me apart every time. 💔

  • @seeking_the_sun
    @seeking_the_sun 6 месяцев назад +4

    God this makes me tear up every single time. They don't make em like this anymore.

  • @Brett101792
    @Brett101792 4 года назад +7

    I absolutely adore this movie. Easily in my top 5, but I always turn it off before this scene... it just hits to close to home.

  • @johnmitchell4769
    @johnmitchell4769 4 года назад +2

    God, the physical expression of pain and grief on her face is just amazing. What an actress!

  • @JackMcLeodJr
    @JackMcLeodJr 5 месяцев назад +2

    Masterful acting interplay between Minnie and Matt

  • @missmillienettleton
    @missmillienettleton 2 года назад +8

    I swear at 3:46 she barely says 'you do' and it kills me; because she's smart enough to know that he's kidding himself, that he does love her and that it's not working out not because the love isn't there but because his fear is stronger. And its so much harder to break it when the love IS there.

    • @horsenberg6175
      @horsenberg6175 2 года назад +1

      i see it more as a “you do- (nt)”, like it hurt too much to finish the sentence

  • @liliavoloshynade5620
    @liliavoloshynade5620 11 месяцев назад +3

    The childhood abuse doesn't justify him screaming at her like this... She didn't do anything. Next time he punches her in the face instead of the wall. Scary.

    • @wolfgangamadeusmozart1293
      @wolfgangamadeusmozart1293 11 месяцев назад +3

      Well she did keep asking him repeatedly what was he scared of. So yeah it is her fault.

  • @sh00k_
    @sh00k_ 6 месяцев назад +6

    this scene really got to me bruh

  • @rivkacoverdale9672
    @rivkacoverdale9672 5 лет назад +13

    I love this scene. Love challenges us to grow. Such an honest scene.

    • @jinkim23
      @jinkim23 2 года назад

      "Love challenges us to grow." Are these your words--or someone else's?

  • @porridge57
    @porridge57 5 лет назад +23

    Strong, intelligent woman.