Self-Care Strategies for Burnout Recovery [Livestream]
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- Опубликовано: 26 июн 2024
- 🎞️Timestamps:
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👋Welcome to Autism From The Inside!!!
If you're autistic or think you or someone you love might be on the autism spectrum, this channel is for you!
I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.
Join me as I share what I've found along my journey, so you don't have to learn it the hard way.
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Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy my channel!
Peace,
~ Paul
#autism #asd #autismawareness
Just listening to Beth talking about "NOT justifying" - that's so big for me... I dont justify for others, I need to justify for myself, non stop, and still most of the time it's not enough to keep the shame away. As if I were not able to trust myself, my body, my senses, that when I feel tired, exhausted... drained and empty I really HAVE THE RIGHT to rest. It is so hard to give myself this right... it is a constant struggle, battle mostly with myself, to defend my need to withdraw, switch off... My diagnosis helped a lot to understand what is happening, it cleared a lot of difficult emotions, but it is still an enormous challange - absolutely the basic one all the time - to pace myself according to my limitations, to let myself recover. I will ask my mom for the note! Thank you for this video!!!
I like that the guests both recognized that some people have the privilege of doing what they need to do to take care of themselves to avoid burnout. It feels like there is a way forward, but it doesn't feel like any of you are saying "This is easy, everyone should just be able to do it."
I was just diagnosed yesterday with high functioning autism and I turn 64 this year. I can understand why I do the things I do but it is a new learning curve. Masking this for so many years has always left me incredibly tired. Living in Melbourne I have just discovered this channel and it feels very safe and comfortable. I just wanted to leave a comment.
I'm at this era in my life, and I think I want to get diagnosed (potentially). Was it hard for you to step out and seek a diagnosis? Any tips?
@@disappearingremedy7400 My biggest question was why was l doing things that I couldn’t understand. I kept seeing continuous patterns and the meltdowns. Doctors always said l had ‘stress and anxiety’ and a treating psychiatrist just wanted to fill me with tablets that didn’t work. I began to notice l was different and started to recall things back at primary school. Talking with a psychologist it dawned upon me and it wasn’t anything he said or did and I bought it up with him.
Why I say all this is because over a long period of time I felt like I deserved a diagnosis as I always felt like something was wrong at first. It took a little while to realise and have the lightbulb moment.
It is a peaceful feeling to finally get a breakthrough and a little sad it took so long but it explains so much. Maybe keep a notebook and write down things you notice or comes to mind and perhaps you will begin to see patterns. Don’t worry about what you write down about yourself or experiences and it will begin the process. Don’t worry about what other people think as it sorts out the ones that understand and find a good psychologist and just chat about it but make sure they have the training and education to understand autism. There is hope.
Sorry about the length of my reply but I felt to share it.👍🇦🇺
I am 71.
@@TessaCoker That is excellent in my way of thinking. I have a friend in America who just turned 80.
@@disappearingremedy7400 Talking with someone who has the education and training helped me especially after l did a questionnaire on autistic traits with him. Firstly start keeping notes on what you feel is different and how you respond to things. Find someone who is educated and understands autism and don’t see it as therapy and understand there is nothing wrong with you and that you are wanting to know things about yourself. Don’t listen to others who seem to not understand and try to encourage you otherwise as this is about you and understanding yourself. It may seem overwhelming and that you are struggling to talk about it but that is part of it as it is easy to mask it and hide it away. For me the constant inner questions l fought with and the depression seemed to lift as I began to see answers.
Once you start it becomes easier and if you feel you need support it is good to talk to another with autism. The only thing that makes it difficult is the autism we live with that tries to stop us. I hope this helps. 👍🇦🇺
I like that strategy Paul mentioned. I have a lot of things that I want/feel the need to do, and sometimes I feel too much pressure and end up spending days of energy worrying about it and not actually doing it. . Giving myself permission to do 20, fewer, or infinite minutes to do it, pending my feelings and energy levels, has been helpful in getting over that hurdle and finding joy in them again.
I too love moving furniture around! Decluttering really soothes me down, so that is a favourite way to spend my freetime indoors. Gardening and working out keeps me alive.
Yes ❤ Those are my favourite things to do too. And reading 😊
While I was listening, this exact phrase kept coming up in my head: "make a concerted effort to rediscover the sound of my natural impulses." I think this was something Paul said in a video once. It is good phrasing, seems to fit in here.
I started walking dogs which is working really well for me because I can do all the pacing I need and get paid for it.
Not being like other people is not something to be ashamed of.
❤Great topic. Thank you for sharing. As an autistic adult late diagnosticated I find myself in constant burnout tending to kids that are also autistic. Going to therapies with my kids, doctors appointments, dentist appointments with them also. Plus cooking, cleaning and doing the stuff at home tends to wear me down. ❤ These tips that you're sharing will be very useful.
This is so relatable. My husband has been gone a lot for work and we homeschool. We have several kids on the spectrum. My husband thinks I am autistic too. It's a lot.
I can't express how valuable this discussion was for me - thankyou so much Paul, Lisa, and Beth 💛 . Watched it through a few times.
I especially loved the expansion of the oxygen mask analogy - not just, care for myself before I can care for others, so that I am able to care for others. But also in terms of breathing - “we would not think about it unless there’s a scarcity.” It's funny because I've always told people I need to remember to breathe, and they find that so weird.. like, breathing is meant to be automatic, right? But it's something I am very conscious of, virtually every day. On both a physical and metaphorical level.
This whole discussion felt so cathartic, in that it started off vocalising the very real grief and shame and guilt, for reduced capacity and ability due to burnout. At the end, I realised that, in a strange way, I am glad for burnout, because it has been my body's way of signalling when something is very wrong - and listening to those signals, learning to trust my body, learning to take my needs seriously - has led to a journey of healing and understanding I could have kept putting off and suffering in silence, but I feel strong and proud for taking on this mission, to build my own life, and look after myself. It means a lot to find people to share this experience with.
Great topic...I strongly connected with the pride piece. It made me feel emotional, because I realized that pride Beth spoke of is associated with acceptance, personal strength and growth, self-value, self care, and worthiness. It made me think it's okay to honor my needs without having to justify them. Thank you for this, Paul, Lisa, Beth.
Beth's comment around 27:00 was just what I needed to hear today. Letters after your name, like a doctorate, to give you permission to listen to yourself! I mean, if we all didn't already know what auDHD was about, those letters after someone's name could look very official, and doctoral.Actually I still feel like I'm in the earliest possible stages, and I think what I need is permission to take several months doing nothing in my free time but coaxing my absolutely squashed inner voice up to the surface. Self must speak before self can be heard...
I am wondering, apropos Lisa's statement about grief, about dealing with an emotionally challenging situation, and thinking about my own responses to things; I wonder if there is something about dealing with emotionally intense situations that is as draining as running a marathon. I'm finding I need a surprising amount of time and space to recover from something like that.
Emotional stuff is absolutely my battery-drainer.
@@katharinegates2917 Thank you
I constantly drain myself.
Yes!
You have awesome content mate
I was recently diagnosed and an ece teacher. I completely relate to both guests. After a recent meeting with my supervisor, and daily burn out symptoms ,I’m faced with a new reality that my longest career that I love, is coming to an end.
It's so sad that we damage & lose so many of the most loving & effective teachers of ALL age-groups through over-burdening, who our children adore, because of a backward system, all the way through.
The system really needs to consider and appreciate it's people, and staff sufficiently.
Why can't Australia keep up? In so many ways, hmmm.
This is an amazing idea, that taking care of MYSELF is a gift to the world! THANK YOU ❤
Thankyou Lisa, Beth and Paul, for a fascinating and helpful discussion! ❤
I have a long version of self care things, but in short self care is receiving healing properties though magic paws of my guide cat Kalima (she does part time energy healing, is a Yogi and a Jedi, too). She is like a feline Care Bear and doesn't carry her magic properties in her belly, but in her paws instead.
Enable subtitles please
❤❤❤❤❤❤thxxxxx😊😊😊😊😊😊
Is that self-disconnectedness and hyposensitivity to one's own needs as a result of autism or alexithymia? I relate to this so much.
Can be both!
People can experience alexithymia without being autistic, but autistics are often more likely to experience alexithymia as well.
Within autism there is a common possible problem with interoception -- difficulty feeling the signals and sensations your body experiences, like hunger, bathroom needs, exhaustion, etc.
Alexithymia is mostly difficulty *identifying* (and communicating) your own feelings and emotions. So it can be that your body experiences a bunch of stress, but you are unaware of it to some degree, so them your body will experience the consequences of that stress.
Being aware of all you can experience, even if you cant give it an explanation or a name, can be really valuable.
For me, carpal tunnel from fingertips to shoulders was the result of that along with self-doubt while believing others' ignorant judgements. Forty years later they're still judging.
Look after yourselves ppl ❤️
For those having trouble brushing their teeth > try a nice flavored toothpaste. I currently have cherry, vanilla and whipped cream flavors and they're tasty, plus not too foamy and they fade away quickly after you're done brushing. It might just be the horrible sensory experience of standard toothpaste that's bothering you.
Lately I've been pacing about 25000 steps per day. This is not a good year. It's about all I do right now to stay sane.
The permissions slips from Brené Brown are really good and at the same time I guess with PDA is also with Brené Brown or she says like you don’t have, you “to get to”
I grew up believing gay people are superior because so many people I respected were gay, my favorite uncles (my biological uncle and his partner), my favorite teacher, actors I knew.
A thought came through me…what is my rainman superpower
I actually need help. I'm in extreme burnout mode right now. I left an abusive relationship in April, lost my job, lost my home and I've had so many changes that burning out a lot now. I'm trying so hard to get back to living but I don't know if I want to anymore. Has anyone else had extreme burnout before? Or multiple burnouts?😊
This was a bit confusing for me. What does burnout look like for a person who is autistic? After a hard day of work my 30 yr. old son (pdd)
will totally shut down. He works remotely from his room, and cannot even converse with us( his parents). He tells us that he can't listen or talk to us right now. He disappears into his room and/or usually just scrolls through the info on his phone. Everything we suggest he shoots down. Very negative about his future and even his hopes for his future. Yes, he is on rx, has a psychiatrist, and a therapist. His burnout exhausts us. It hurts us to see him so down on himself and his life.
I had experience over load so bad ooe time at a party that I striped my clothes off to my breast and walked the dark streets trying to get home while my husband try to cover me I didn't know what was wrong with me. Love you Marie Baker England.
The pronouns are not necessary.
I appreciate them. Leaving them off makes cis the default.
@@katharinegates2917I agree. Pronouns are helpful. I was describing the conversation to my partner and it was useful to refer back and see everyone’s pronouns.
Yes, they are. You can’t tell someone’s gender identity or pronouns just by looking at them, just like you can’t tell whether someone’s autistic just by looking at them. A large portion of the autistic community happens to also belong to the LGBTQIA+ community, so including pronouns is a good way to be inclusive. Plus it’s not distracting or hurtful in any way, so I struggle to see why you’d feel the need to even bring that up in the first place.