It sounds like you have quite severe separation anxiety, whether that’s from your home, your family, or even just your own bedroom and bed. It’s fairly common in university students who’ve recently moved away! It also sounds like you had (or almost had) a panic attack on the bus. So, Please take care of yourself and remember you are absolutely not alone in how you feel. You’re genuinely a great, beautiful person and you deserve to enjoy every moment of uni. These days could be the best of your life xx
I also really struggled with the fact that I thought all my friends were having the best time. But remember no one is posting when they're homesick on their stories and everyone is only posting when they're loving it. I made friends with girls on my course and I love them loads, that helped me so much x
Always loved your content but lately i'm actually obsessed with your vlogs! I get your homesickness so much, I feel the feelings just watching you, but I promise it gets better Molly! II was the most homebird person EVER, and I eventually settled and loved it! Just keep busy girly! Chin up and hope you're ok
I dropped out when I was 18 at university cause I didn't enjoy it. A couple years later, I am back at university doing a complete opposite course and absolutely loving it. Everyone's timing is different, hold out but remember to think of your mental health
I actually can’t explain to you how much your vlogs have helped me. I’m now starting my 3rd year of a 4 year university degree and I still don’t feel settled . I hate everything about uni apart from the fact that I’m determined to get a degree. I find it 10 million times easier if I don’t go home because it really unsettled to come back - seeing someone else be unsettled at uni is so comforting because you only really see people loving uni on RUclips. Trust me, it’s tough but it gets easier, love you x
love how you are showing the reality of freshers that barely anyone talks about! the changes of living away from home and moving away from everything you know make u feel so up and down!!! it will get better and keep positive
If I were you, I'd set myself a time guide, say a month or six weeks, and if after that you still feel the same, I'd stop doing it. I wouldn't see it as 'dropping out' just choosing to do something different. Sometimes there's no point enduring something just for the sake of saying I finished it. The course/uni in general/that particular uni/Leeds might not be a right fit for you. Don't justify going home, it's lovely that you have such a nice home/family/dog/boyfriend to go home to. Remember it's not an endurance test, you don't need that, you're far too bright and talented. Is there something nearer home you could do - an apprenticeship maybe or a different course or maybe have a year out to focus on yr RUclips channel. You have lots of choice and people around you who love and support, you'll be fine. Xxx
Honestly, I’m a second year uni student and this is EXACTLY how I felt this time last year. I was lonely, miserable, emotional and more than anything I just wanted to go home. All my friends from home seemed to have already made loads of friends at their unis and settled in so well and I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t be happy too. I cried every night for at least three weeks, wondering whether it was the right thing and maybe I just wasn’t cut out for uni. But within a month I pushed myself to stay and to make friends and honestly by Christmas I didn’t even want to come home! You just have to give it time, I PROMISE it will get better and it will be worth you sticking it out! It’s completely okay to feel like this and sooo many people do. I would really suggest getting out of your room and hanging out with friends/flatmates as much as possible, even if you just watch a movie in someone’s room together - although I really wanted to just be alone in the evenings and mope, it’s 100% better to push yourself and socialise because being alone ultimately only makes you feel worse. Sending you lots of love and hugs, just wanted you to know you’re not alone and a lot of people are definitely feeling the same way 💓 I’m so glad I stuck with it, it ended up being the best year of my life once I got settled in xxx
I love how you are so honest about how you are really feeling about uni, I’ve just finished my first week & I was fine the first week but now it’s settled in and I’ve had a few bad days jsut worrying, but its a big step in our lives & we are allowed to be upset :(( xx ps your dog is absolutely adorable
Just want to tell you that I promise it will get better, I moved 200 miles away to uni and left everything behind... 2 years on and I promise it was the best decision I’ve made. You won’t be away forever and your family will still be there whenever you need them, don’t feel guilty for feeling like this just hold onto any hope you have and run with it. Xxx
I can relate to this so much!! This is exactly how I felt in first year, I was homesick all the time. I didn't love living there but I find my feet with a good group of friends and it was a good year but I just didn't enjoy living in halls and they aren't for everyone. You shouldn't feel guilty if you come back home regularly if that's what you need then that's what you need x
Totally relate to crying despite nothing technically being wrong!! I would spend hours in the kitchen talking with my flatmates (who are my best friends now) and be having a totally lovely time, wouldn't be sad at all - but the second I got back to my room I would burst out crying! It makes you feel bad because you're still enjoying the people you're around, but you can't help but be upset. It'll get better I promise
I've been at uni for almost 2 weeks now and still cry everyday & currently going through a depressive episode so u know fun and all and also anxiety interfering with everything but you can do this gal x
Molly, I dropped out of uni after a week. I’m an out going person and I thought going to do the course was the right thing for me. I got there and I felt exactly like you - I wanted to like it but I just couldn’t. And despite all the good experiences I had in that week it wasn’t enough, my gut feeling was that it wasn’t the right decision for me. I’m glad I left when I did - I never looked back, and I really believe everything happens for a reason. Also the earlier you leave the better chances you have of the accommodation filling you room meaning you won’t have to pay rent even when you aren’t living there. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision whether that’s to stay or not. You have built your own business with RUclips and you’re only 18 and I think you forget that. You’ll build a successful career for yourself whether that’s with a degree or without. PMA is definitely key whether it’s being positive with going back home or positive trying go love the course. Hope you feel clearer soon x
I just want to say that when I went to uni 4 years ago, when I first went it was the hardest thing I ever did- I was always on the phone to my family, crying to them I wanted to quit, crying by myself in my room, so homesick - basically I wanted to leave before it had all even properly started! Exactly how you’re feeling. I decided to try it out, and after a few weeks I honestly didn’t look back. It can feel very lonely to begin with, but you really do develop the best friendships ever in life and make the best memories! I promise it will be the best time of your life, everyday I wish I could go back to my uni day! But I never forget how hard it was to start with but I am proud that I stuck it out and was brave, and you will be too! Keep your chin up and try and stay positive x
I moved country for uni and the first few weeks were so much adjustment but I didn't have the option of going home. I think the option of going home makes it harder to stay. Try and see going home as a treat instead something you need to do yourself to make yourself feel better. ❤️
I remember in my first week at uni I sat on the floor of my little room crying and googling “how do you drop out of uni”. Once I go through those tough first few weeks everything got so much better and I’m so glad I stayed! Just know that your feelings are valid and everyone is in the same boat. Sending good vibes my love ❤️
Hi Molly. I experienced the same thing when I started uni at Leeds (2012). I was very anxious and unsettled, had panic attacks and the only thing I wanted to do was leave and go home. I went to the doctors (Leeds student medical practice are great) and spoke to a professional about the anxiety which helped a lot. The thing that really got me settled though was joining a society. Once you feel like you have a secure friendship group, it really improves things so I would suggest trying a few out and meeting like minded people. Going home isn’t the worst thing, but I wouldn’t avoid it for a little while until you are more settled. For me, it was so emotionally challenging to keep going back to my comfort zone at home then having to leave again. Also you could try getting your parents (and puppy!) to visit you in Leeds as that’s sort of a halfway house. I think that you communicating how you are feeling is wonderful. There is so much hype around going to uni and having the time of your life and when that doesn’t happen immediately it also feels like you are the odd one out (you definitely aren’t - people just hide it!!). Keep talking about it and I promise in time you will absolutely love Leeds. I ended up staying an extra year for a masters and would give anything to go back!! X
i feel like you need to try & busy yourself a lot but give yourself lots of love & self-care so you don't get into a negative mentality. unrelated but i love the primark skirt you bought! (-': but we all think you are doing soooo well. it's hard seeing home friends have a good time but just remind yourself that deep down they are probably struggling as well... xxx
I started boarding school last year and I just want you to know that it’s so so so normal to cry that much, I mean that makes perfect sense. You’re whole life has been totally changed and your brain will find that hard. You’ve just got to go with it and get over the stage where you’re doubting everything because you miss the way your life used to be
So many people feel exactly the same as you and it's totally normal. Don't feel pressure to be happy all the time cause you're a human and you've got a valid reason to be anxious or upset and homesick. Other people might seem like they're fitting in great and not feeling the same as you but for all you know they could be thinking the same about you and they could be feeling the same. Once you settle in and make close friends in Leeds you'll be so glad you moved 💖
You are doing so well! Keep going ! It takes 21 days to get used to a new situation, It will get easier ! But thank you for sharing this, it makes me feel less lonely about being anxious leaving home xxx
From someone who has been to uni - what you're feeling right now is SO normal and everyone around you is feeling it too, some are just hiding it. It will get better I promise x
Seeing you cry makes me so upset for you. I know exactly how you feel, I never got over my homesickness. I lasted a year and a month before I dropped out and came home. I was like you, thought I couldn’t wait to move, was so excited to get there, and then hated being away. Do what you need to do, don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling, and don’t worry about what others think/say!
Love how real you are, as Uni just isn't for everyone! I moved out to Uni last year and after 3 weeks, I just didn't feel settled and was honestly crying all the time. Despite being scared of the stigma around 'dropping out', I decided it was the best decision for me! I took a gap year, earned some money and did some travelling and it was honestly the best decision!! I have started at a different University this year, but have decided to stay at home and commute, so it gives me the independence, but I also still have my home comforts. Honestly, forget everyone else and just think about what it best for you❤️ xxx
dont think too much about dropping out, before i went to uni i wasnt independent at all so moving away on my own was such a big change, for the first 2 or 3 weeks all i did was cry and phone my boyfriend and want to be with people i knew, it took me a good month before i really settled in and made solid friends and started to feel better about being there and i ended up having the best year of my life and made the best memories and the best friends, and dont feel too bad about going home or having your dad or other people come to visit you, i went home nearly every single weekend so if thats what you need to do to make you feel better then you can do that, dont feel pressured to stay there if you dont need to because you can settle in whilst still going home frequently!
Hey molly you probably won’t see this but I’m studying in Leeds. I was in the exact same boat as you last year and I decided to drop out but keep my place. Over the year I decided I was ready to go back and start studying and it was the best choice I ever made. I really struggled with homesickness last year but the best thing to do is keep yourself busy and try to focus on the present moment instead what everyone else is doing at home. Coming back to Leeds has made me realise how great the city is. People do look like they’re settling in but remember everyone is fighting their own little battles so could be feeling the exact same but are just covering it up. Just try to think how proud you’ll be in a years time when you’ve completed the course and developed yourself as a person! Keep going, it takes time to settle in but honestly don’t give in 💜
I'm so grateful for your realism atm. I've just moved half an hour up the road from home and I'm really struggling so to know I'm not the only one is very comforting. I hope you begin to feel better soon x
Also Molly - if you do want to drop out we will support you regardless! It’s good that you got the opportunity to discover whether you want or didn’t want to go to uni❤️
I completely understand how you feel, I was the same last year. I’m studying at Sheffield Hallam and I moved into accommodation and hated it and felt lost like you did. I now commute and starting my second year and I’m so much happier surrounded by my family at home. Even though my boyfriend is away for university and make sure to see each other every weekend. You’ll get through it, I completely understand you!!
Omg Molly don’t feel like you have to explain yourself about going home often!! Personally, I think every weekend would be perfectly acceptable hahaha especially because of your adorable pup! I am from Aus and next year I could go to uni but I don’t want to leave my puppy either hahah xxxx Awww Molly- I just watched a bit more and my heart breaks for you. Hope you find some courage to carry on xxx
I’m in 2nd year of uni now and here’s my top tips for clubbing in winter: - you don’t feel the cold when you’re drunk - take a coat and get money out for the cloakroom it’s 15/10 worth it - you’ll be fine in a skirt when it’s cold just tough it out cause clubs are abso boiling :)
Thank you for making these vlogs! I always considered myself a pretty independent person and I was soo ready to leave home to go to uni, but for some reason I got really homesick and it's only now in my 4th week that I feel fine most of the time, rather than feeling like crying nearly every day.... You will also start to settle soon, trust me xx And for the people telling you to keep your distance from home, I'd personally recommend to contact your parents as often as you feel like you need to.... don't punish yourself for feeling sad and lonely by not allowing yourself to talk to your family and stuff xx
Go out for walks when u feel upset alone if u can even itll mke u feel better. I hated uni first few weeks and i didnt even stay there but after a while i loved it. Uni was the best experience ive had, youll love it
I have just moved to Leeds for university too and honestly feeling the exact same! I live in Manchester so the train is like £5 so I have the same mind set in that i can just go home whenever which is reassuring but also upsetting. Everyone's in the same boat
Watching this brings back so many memories of my freshers! It was such a tough time for me, because everyone around me seemed to be best friends immediately and I thought I had no one... it wasn't until I ended up balling my eyes out at one of my coursemates about 3-4 weeks into term that I found out she felt the exact same, and we kind of decided to stick through the tough times together. After that, I fell into a group of absolutely amazing people, and honestly, looking back freshers week/year was definitely not the best time of my student life - i never get why its painted out to be that way! Third year is where all my best memories are from :) It's normal to have doubts and worries during this time, and I really hope for you that it gets better like it did for me xx
the first few weeks of uni are the toughest but you will do it !!!!! if you are really struggling there should be a sort of “stay on course/ on track” service in uni and someone you can speak to and they’ll be able to help you in any way they can! I felt the exact same when i started and that was three years ago and now in my honours year so i promise you can do this !! Distract yourself with good things and new people and you’ll always have so much support from everyone that loves you !! X
My eldest sister felt the exact same as you feel during uni and she ended up dropping out of uni during her first year, she now has a full time job and is so much happier and that decision saved her mental health, during uni she developed depression as she never properly settled in as much as she tried and she missed home so much, you’re so amazing and we love you xx
i’m sorry if this is late but i went away in may with a friend and her family and i developed really bad homesickness, i found distracting myself really good, like doing some art or watching some yt or tv really helped! i hope u are feeling better!
Dear Molly, I'm a new subscriber and a few years older than you (almost done with Uni), and I just want to say you're such a brave young woman. With 18 I definitely did not have that mindset that you have. I'ts amazing that you still think rationally even though it is so hard for you. You will get used to it all, I promise. I hate changes and the start was hard for me too. Every new semester (even now in my masters) I get anxious because I don't know the people in my classes and what is to come etc..., but once I'm in the routine and used to it all, I am okay. If you really hate the course (not the situation, just the actual course) then maybe this is not the right path for you, but if it's only the circumstances, I would fight through it. The people will probably become super close friends after a while and then you feel much more comfortable because you have people to talk to that are right there with you and you don't feel as alone. As I said, if you don't like the course, maybe search for something different, maybe something closer to home, but I would always have a plan B - you said you had one, would you consider telling us what that might be? I would give it a few months.. I think after this course you'd have great future opportunities and could build on it. xox
I'm a second year student at Leeds university and I've just moved back to Leeds from being home for the summer and I'm emotional and miss home a lot. This happened for my first few weeks during my first year too. Try to surround yourself with people when you are feeling emotional it really helps to remind me that I'm not alone.
I can totally relate to how you are feeling! I am now in my third year of uni and felt very similar in first year and I even have days when I feel the same now. Try get out and have a walk and distract yourself by being around other people. Sometimes you just need to cry it out and the next day will be a bit better. Make sure you keep talking about how you feel and don't keep it all to yourself. Xx
Swear to god things will get better! Keep at it. It’s only a year and you can go home on the weekends if you want! I absolutely hated first year! Went home for Christmas and then went back and it all seemed to have changed and I wasn’t as home sick. Everyone loves you so keep going!
You’ll get through the home sickness I’m sure, just think about the exciting parts of Uni and the future that you’re beginning by being there!! Proud 💞💞
This may or may not be helpful depending on how you look at it, but please don't feel like you need to stay somewhere where you are unhappy because you're scared of 'failing' or 'quitting'- I started university on the 8th of September in a place that was also only an hour from my home but was a place I wasn't comfortable living. I couldn't see myself ever wanting to be there more than being home because I missed my boyfriend my family and my friends (and dogs too- I also got a puppy a few weeks before uni and leaving her was SO hard) so on Friday I decided that being unhappy and stressed and putting strain on myself wasn't helping anything so I left that day and handed in my withdrawal form. I thought I was going to feel disappointed in myself but more than anything I was actually proud of myself for putting myself first and doing something that a lot of people wouldn't understand because most people seemed to think it was important to just 'stick it out' but to be honest, nothing is more important than your happiness and that's what I think needs to always take priority so regardless of what you do or whether you stay or not just remember that it doesn't have to be permanent and you can do whatever you want, you're never stuck or trapped even if it may feel that way:) xx
I felt exactly as you do when I started uni as a fresher, so my heart broke a little bit watching this. But I’m so happy you’re forcing yourself to give it a shot before deciding whether it’s what you really want or not ✨ I’m now in my third year at uni and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been - I know your course is only a year, but things can change so quickly in a university environment. Hold onto that ❤️
I've dropped out of uni twice , i just wasnt ready for it so now I'm studying at home until next year when I know I'll be ready and I'm so much happier !! Do what you need to do and what will make you the happiest! Uni and college etc will always be there ! X
I felt exactly the same as you last year when I was a fresher at uni, I cried my eyes out when my parents left and whenever I thought of home, and I cried down the phone to my parents thinking that my course wasn't right for me. I'll tell you honestly it does get better, I had the best year of my life last year and I'm so excited to start second year! It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to not know what you want, but as you get used to new surroundings, new people, it will start becoming easier, I hope everything is okay
(sorry if this is long ) molly, if your gut is telling you it doesn't feel right and you feel it yourself, its okay to not want to continue and change it all, its happens, its sucks and its hard but tell yourself that this happens to so many people and its totally normal to feel this way. It happened to me this year, i wanted to go to Montreal bc i wanted to live the same experience as my sister and i wanted to go to uni there, my expectations were a bit high and ended up having the worst year ever, cried every week and kept going no matter how hard it was, i found a routine and that was nice but appart from that it was literally mental breakdowns ( even on my birthday). I felt zero motivation, no energy, had zero friends ( bc i was in a preparatory year not even in a BA), i failed all my finals and i decided to quit and leave to paris my hometown and pursue digital communication studies, i never looked back, never regretted ( sure i would have changed my first year but im better where i am now) life has odd ways of figuring itself out and everything happens for a reason. edit : also if you dont happen to figure out what you wanna do later its fine to put it on pause, you are going to be a Successful woman, you already are shining on RUclips, you're young and incredible, concentrate on the positives of your life, i know this is hard but ik you're gonna be okay. Much love !!
I’m in my 3rd year now and every time I’ve come back to uni I’ve felt the way you do. The best advice I could give you is to take each day as it comes. Try not to think about the whole year (it’s not even a year, just Sept-May) and just focus on whatever you’re doing that day💛you don’t need to explain yourself when going home/having visitors. And as you’ve said dropping out is absolutely fine. Love you girl😘
For someone who's been through the whole uni process, this video reminds me of exactly what the start was like for me and how I felt... it took me until at least the Easter holidays to feel settled! Then after that I had the best time! Definitely wasn't easy, but was so worth it. I know everyone's different and maybe you'll find that it's not for you, but just be patient and not too hard on yourself for now :)
There is nothing wrong with crying, it's alright to cry. You will soon understand what you want to do, if thats leaving university or staying. You will do what's right for you! ❤❤❤❤
Molly, there isn’t enough focus on how moving out for uni isn’t for everyone. Everyone claims it’s the best time of your life but it isn’t always so don’t let it upset you! I moved out for uni and lasted only 2 months (luckily I only live 40 mins away so I could drive in from home and continue with my course) but the best thing I did was move back home as it started affecting my mental health and my uni work xx
When I started my first year last year I went through the exact same, I'd keep myself busy with my flatmates and meeting people on my course but when it was all over and I was by myself in my room i'd just breakdown and just say to myself what the hell is wrong with you because you had fun with these people and now you're crying. So its completely normal honestly! One thing i'd advise is try not to go home as much, even though lottie is absolutely gorgeous! But try and get the people you miss the most to visit you in Leeds so you feel less homesick and this weird unfamiliar setting feels slightly more homely. Stay positive lovely!! xxxx
The first month of uni is a whirl mind, it’s such a huge change in your life. I honestly felt all of these feelings your having. I hope you’re okay Molly x
Ps. Continuing the story my boyfriend went to Leeds and I went to Kent (4 hours away) and the home sickness was real, and he also struggled being alone in the city. Talking about it makes you feel better and just make friends with everyone you meet and everything will fall into place x
I think the main issue is being alone. When you are out etc your mood is going to be lifted. I 100% can understand where your coming from. Although I haven’t been to uni I suffer with depression and I know when I’m with people chatting etc I’m not to bad but when I’m on my own and in my own thoughts that’s when I struggle. Be proud of yourself girl, you may not feel like your doing well but you are. When you’ve made solid friends you won’t struggle as much but if you feel like it’s not for you and not just the missing home just if you don’t feel like the course is for you then don’t feel a failure! PS have you fixed your toilet? XXX
loved the reality of this vlog I feel the same about moving for uni three weeks ago, I’ve been at home the past couple days and it hit me how much I missed home. But it will get better, each day it has started to for me and it will do for you with time. It’s okay to feel like this, and remember you can always leave whenever you want💘 it’s okay if you did ‘drop out’ and I hope things feel better soon x
It gets better but whatever you decide everyone supports you 100%! I had a horrible first year at uni but now I’m in my third year and currently am so happy!
im at uni first year and i can relate so much with how you are feeling like ive only been away from home for a week and ive had so many high highs and low lows! but im sure once settled in properly all will be fine its the best time ofyour life so enjoy hun xoxo
I honestly cried for the first few month of Uni, and I thought it would never get easier or better but it did! A year later and I've got so many friends and I'm actually excited to go back, it won't feel like it now but *I PROMISE* it gets better! Stay strong and keep going, sending some love from a new subscriber xx
I think what you're going through is really normal ! I felt the same way . I think freshers and first year is really overhyped and the loneliness is completely forgotten . It's a really isolating time and try and stick through it ! Xxx
Your vlogs really help me! I’m at Leeds for uni just like you and I’m so homesick, you made me realise I’m not on my own! Thank you so much for being so real x
I so feel everything in this... I do consider myself a very independent person but I’ve honestly found the first few weeks awful and looking at other people seemingly having the time of their lives doesn’t help!
I felt like a proud big sister at the end of this video. Look how far you’ve come since last week. You seem so buoyant at the end of the video and I’m so confident you’ll find your uni feet soon! So proud of you! Keep going Lovely! X
I completely get how you feel, it’s my second week at uni and I’m finding it so hard to settle in and people around me are like already best friends and it’s just so hard
Girl I feel you!❤ I'm in second year at Leeds, and freshers week was so so hard for me! I cried sooo much and I nearly packed it in and went home but I'm so glad I stuck it through because I LOVE being in Leeds now!
I have started uni in Leeds last week and I have literally cried for two days straight and I have had to go home for four days because I can’t cope. I am so glad that it isn’t just me that’s upset x
Honestly I know how you feel, I started uni last September, studying a course I thought I’d love. I struggled for the first few weeks, then I got into a routine and was happier for a while, and then I hit rock bottom and decided that the course I was studying and where I was studying just wasn’t right for me, so at the end of my first semester I decided to drop out of university. I went home pretty much every weekend, the only time I stayed at weekends, was when friends visited me. I felt like a failure when I dropped out, I questioned myself to why it didn’t work for me and why it worked for everyone else. I’ve spent the last 9 months working full time and exploring my options and giving myself time to find what will make me happy and which career path is right for me, and I am currently completing my UCAS application all over again to start studying next September. 2 years ago, when I first applied for uni, I questioned myself as to whether I was ready, but felt that as all my friends were going to uni I needed to go at 18 as well. I honestly wish I’d taken a few years out, and given myself more time to decide what works for me, so I am looking forward to starting my uni venture again in a years time. You do what makes you happy, but don’t rush into a decision that leaves your questioning yourself in the future. You are young, you have plenty of time, and whether you stick it out and find your feet or find that uni isn’t for you, only you can make that decision and no one can judge you for it. I promise things will work out for the best in the end, and you are not alone in how you feel, it’s a experience most people go through when they start uni, whether it be when they first start or a month later. Just carry on being you, express your emotions and don’t bottle them up, as it’ll only make you feel worse, it’s ok to cry xxx
aw molly I feel for you girly. homesickness passes slowly and with time and practice. You are one of the most honest people ever online. I really hope this week will be a little better for you. hope your ok. lots of love xox
When I first went to uni it took me about a month to settle in. I was convinced that I was going to spend the next 3 yrs hating life and just gritting my teeth and getting on with it. After about a month though I loved almost every moment from then on. My course got me the degree I wanted; it wasn’t my passion but uni was worth so much more than that to me. My friends now several years after I have graduated are largely still my uni friends and my experience shaped me so much as a person. I really hope you begin to feel like this too as I would love for you to enjoy your time as much as I did.
I am currently a second years student and at the start of my first year, I hated it. I hated my course, I hated being upset all the time and hated being away from home. What really helped me was going home every so often (much to my sister's dismay) and trying my hardest to make friends. By the end of the year, I cried when I had to leave my flat, and felt so emotional when I had to leave my friends. Like Fabulous Hannah says, "no rain, no flowers". You may feel like this now, but I guarantee you that by the end of it, you will love it.
I’m only five mins in but can I just say it’s nice to see you being honest but honestly don’t question how other people are fitting in and loving it because honestly, everyone feels different about it, that was me a year ago and trust me it takes time! But you’re being brave and I hope it gets better for you and as much as going home can make you feel worse about going back, it’s also good to have plans and something to look forward too.
I know exactly how you're feeling because I was the exact same. I started uni 3 years ago, so I've recently just graduated and I found it so difficult in my first year. I really struggled to make friends on my course and the girls I tried to make friends with ended up excluding me from everything so I felt so isolated and like I didn't have anyone. My flat mates were so nice but they had their own friends from their courses so I wouldn't see them all the time. Most nights I would just sit in my room and cry because I felt so alone. I went home every other weekend because I was so home sick, I put on a lot of weight because I felt so depressed and I really struggled with the work. So what you're feeling is totally normal, don't worry. I made the decision after my first year to commute to university as it was only an hour on the train and it was the best decision I ever made. I ended up moving out with my fiancé and I was so much happier and I actually graduated, which I never believed I would do. It will get easier and how you're feeling is totally normal xxxx
cant explain how watching this has made me feel. this is exactly how i've been feeling for the last week and i can only hope it gets better from here for you! love your vlogs so much!! xxx
You’re doing really well Molly, when I went to uni it was the little things like the ugly curtains and blank walls that made me homesick, I took down the ugly ones and bought some cute ones in Wilko and put a kettle and nice mug in my room so I had some comforts. I also used the same washing powder as my family so it didn’t all smell weird and different. You’ll get there x
Hey Molly, when I was a fresher I also found it so hard to settle in. I was homesick, cried on the phone to my family pretty much every night asking them to book a ticket home but it does get better with time! You'll meet people at uni who are going through the same thing as you - you're not alone! Good luck for your course! xx
Aww lovely 😢😢 don't put too much pressure on yourself, uni is a massive deal and if you drop out it's not the end of he world! I'm in my second year and had to study from home and commute because I had a baby so I can't even imagine how you feel being away from home. I wouldn't be able to do it, give yourself more credit your doing amazing and if you want to drop out don't feel bad about doing so, happiness comes first. Lots of love xxxxxx
I'm going to uni in September, I only live around 30 mins away so it's not too bad but watching your vlogs has made me see that I don't need to worry about getting upset or homesick because it's normal so thank you for showing your true emotions and feeling about uni xxx
Honestly, I am feeling the exact same as you.. It hurts me so bad through the day and it purely hits me when im alone in my flat. I really hope you feel better soon, love u so muchh xXx
I recently got a new job and have really struggled with having a positive attitude, and convinced myself within a week that I wanted to quit! Now I'm just trying to take each shift as it comes and think it's only a few hours before it's over and then it's done. It's so hard to adjust to new situations, I hope it's going ok for you now molly💛💛
Molly please don’t stay if you’re not happy, I know that’s sounds bad but you can go to uni at home? Do a degree closer to home where you can commute from your house? You’re still so young you don’t need to be forcing yourself to move away! Please take care of yourself. I absolutely hated every second of uni but I stuck it out and it got so hard.. trust me it’s not worth it for all the stress on your mental health ❤️
I was literally in the same situation when I first started university, I really didn’t want to be at university but I’m happy to say that I’m going into my last year of uni and I’ve never been so happy. So honestly it will get better in a couple of weeks 💕 you can do this lovely x
Freshers is THE biggest worldwind of emotions! Don’t feel silly for crying everyday.... it gets better 😌 uni is honestly the best time of your life but it takes a lot of getting used to
Don’t kick yourself for getting upset! It’s a big change and a massive step to move to uni so it’d be a miracle if you didn’t get a bit emotional! The best thing to do is keep busy finding stuff to do all the time even if it’s just cooking or washing if you feel down! Keeping busy is key 👊🏼 x
Molly don’t be hard on yourself it’s ok to be feeling how you are! My advice would be to even just say to yourself ok I’m gonna give this a shot for a month and if you still feel the same as you do now you can leave! Even leave take a year out focus on RUclips and you can always go back to uni, there’s no age limit you can go to uni in 10years time if you want to! Don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to! But if you give it even a month maybe it will be easier to get through because you know it can maybe just be a temporary thing!! Sending you lots of love!! 💞💞
It’s so horrible to see you so upset!! Keep your chin up, hopefully how you are feeling will blow over. If it doesn’t, then just do what you feel is best and that’ll make you the happiest, cause that’s what matters most. Sending all my love Molly 💘
Hi Molly! Just wanted to say I totally know what you're going through. My first year of university (I actually stayed home and went to a nearby university in my city), but all of my close friends went away. And I guess it was just a whole new adjustment and I was incredibly unhappy. But I find that when I made more friends, got use to the new routine and kept myself busy, things got better. You'll get through this! xx
also i used a technique called tapping whenever i felt anxious about being away from my family. i’m not 100% sure how to explain it but i’m sure there are videos explaining it, i also lost my appetite and i found eating things like watermelon really good because it was just like drinking something!! i just had to keep reminding myself that i was there to have a good time and the more i went out with my friend the waisted and more distracted i got!!!
I feel... EXACTLY the same as you do rn. It’s so tough and I just can’t ever imagine thinking of Leeds as a home, and I too am a literal second away from dropping out but I do know it’s always hard at the beginning and I’m sure you do too... thank you for documenting your first few weeks at uni, it’s helping me out so so much ❤️
Molly I know exactly how you feel! Around 2/3 weeks ago I moved away to university which was about 200 miles away from home and as soon as I got there it felt strange and I felt very isolated, but I gave it a chance and I decided to drop out for a number of reasons including severe social anxiety which was affecting my physical health, being homesick, the course that I was going to do had changed to what I thought it was going to be so I dropped out of uni after maybe 1 and a half weeks and have decided to take a year out of education and focus on myself, and honestly I already feel so much better with the decision I made and I might go to a university nearer to home next year! I hope you are ok, just remember that at the start a lot of people will be feeling the same as you but if you genuinely not enjoying the course or thinking that it is not for you, than maybe think about doing another course that might be better for you! X ❤️
Molly, dropping out is a hard decision, but everyone will support whatever you do! I did two (very unhappy) years at one university before I got the courage to drop out so that I could sort my mental health out and decide what I actually wanted to do. I'm now in my 3rd and final year at a different university and I've loved (still very stressed, but liked nonetheless) it so much more! If you need time to think, sort yourself out. Or just do whatever you want/need to do there is no shame whatsoever! Also, I've loved watching your vlogs on university. It's so fresh to see someone who is the exact same as I was in the previous university, but I am very sorry you feel this way! xx
I'm starting university and I picked a university close to home so that I can drive there everyday and live at home. I definitely don't think I would settle into uni halls. I have friends who live at them and will be able to stay at them after nights out and stuff, I'm too much of a home person. People tell me I will be missing out but I don't even like alcohol or going out much and I have a friendship group over here. Make sure you look after yourself x
I’m in my final year at Uni now but when I started I felt exactly the same! I was also going through a break up at the time so I just wanted to be with my family and friends (and my cats) and it sucked! I’ve ended up having the best years of my life and don’t regret it at all so you’re doing the right thing by giving it a go and it will get easier💓
I feel like this is such a normal feeling to have with anything! The fact is some people deal with it slightly better because they have the want to move out. Whereas you are obviously very close with your family and with the addition of the puppy, it is understandable that’s how you will feel. Talking about the law of attraction, if you haven’t already read The Secret! Because that goes into depth somewhat about it and how to change your mindset, and doesn’t happen overnight but it does help! Throughly enjoying your vlogs!xx
i hope you’re okay molly, it’s so difficult to watch when you’re sad but honestly i understand, i’m currently on a gap year but my friends are at uni and they’re all really struggling so you’re not alone. society and youtube glamourises university life so much, of course you’ll be upset, it’s an emotional upheaval and you will be sad. you’ll get there i promise, keep smiling. i absolutely love leeds, i live about 45 mins drive away - if you need any advice on places to go and places to go to eat then let me know! xx (also i usually tough the cold out hahaha)
Loved this but your dad is actually really funny don't diss Carl
and for clubs wear skirt top and then a denim jacket that is the dream combo
Thank you Eve !!!
It sounds like you have quite severe separation anxiety, whether that’s from your home, your family, or even just your own bedroom and bed. It’s fairly common in university students who’ve recently moved away! It also sounds like you had (or almost had) a panic attack on the bus. So, Please take care of yourself and remember you are absolutely not alone in how you feel. You’re genuinely a great, beautiful person and you deserve to enjoy every moment of uni. These days could be the best of your life xx
I also really struggled with the fact that I thought all my friends were having the best time. But remember no one is posting when they're homesick on their stories and everyone is only posting when they're loving it. I made friends with girls on my course and I love them loads, that helped me so much x
Always loved your content but lately i'm actually obsessed with your vlogs! I get your homesickness so much, I feel the feelings just watching you, but I promise it gets better Molly! II was the most homebird person EVER, and I eventually settled and loved it! Just keep busy girly! Chin up and hope you're ok
I dropped out when I was 18 at university cause I didn't enjoy it. A couple years later, I am back at university doing a complete opposite course and absolutely loving it. Everyone's timing is different, hold out but remember to think of your mental health
I actually can’t explain to you how much your vlogs have helped me. I’m now starting my 3rd year of a 4 year university degree and I still don’t feel settled . I hate everything about uni apart from the fact that I’m determined to get a degree. I find it 10 million times easier if I don’t go home because it really unsettled to come back - seeing someone else be unsettled at uni is so comforting because you only really see people loving uni on RUclips. Trust me, it’s tough but it gets easier, love you x
Nicole Stopp I’m in the same position d
love how you are showing the reality of freshers that barely anyone talks about! the changes of living away from home and moving away from everything you know make u feel so up and down!!! it will get better and keep positive
If I were you, I'd set myself a time guide, say a month or six weeks, and if after that you still feel the same, I'd stop doing it. I wouldn't see it as 'dropping out' just choosing to do something different. Sometimes there's no point enduring something just for the sake of saying I finished it. The course/uni in general/that particular uni/Leeds might not be a right fit for you. Don't justify going home, it's lovely that you have such a nice home/family/dog/boyfriend to go home to. Remember it's not an endurance test, you don't need that, you're far too bright and talented. Is there something nearer home you could do - an apprenticeship maybe or a different course or maybe have a year out to focus on yr RUclips channel. You have lots of choice and people around you who love and support, you'll be fine. Xxx
That’s exactly what I’m gonna do, thank you!
@@MollyThompsonx_ did she help u realise what u want to do or did u already know
Honestly, I’m a second year uni student and this is EXACTLY how I felt this time last year. I was lonely, miserable, emotional and more than anything I just wanted to go home. All my friends from home seemed to have already made loads of friends at their unis and settled in so well and I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t be happy too. I cried every night for at least three weeks, wondering whether it was the right thing and maybe I just wasn’t cut out for uni. But within a month I pushed myself to stay and to make friends and honestly by Christmas I didn’t even want to come home! You just have to give it time, I PROMISE it will get better and it will be worth you sticking it out! It’s completely okay to feel like this and sooo many people do. I would really suggest getting out of your room and hanging out with friends/flatmates as much as possible, even if you just watch a movie in someone’s room together - although I really wanted to just be alone in the evenings and mope, it’s 100% better to push yourself and socialise because being alone ultimately only makes you feel worse. Sending you lots of love and hugs, just wanted you to know you’re not alone and a lot of people are definitely feeling the same way 💓 I’m so glad I stuck with it, it ended up being the best year of my life once I got settled in xxx
I love how you are so honest about how you are really feeling about uni, I’ve just finished my first week & I was fine the first week but now it’s settled in and I’ve had a few bad days jsut worrying, but its a big step in our lives & we are allowed to be upset :(( xx ps your dog is absolutely adorable
Just want to tell you that I promise it will get better, I moved 200 miles away to uni and left everything behind... 2 years on and I promise it was the best decision I’ve made. You won’t be away forever and your family will still be there whenever you need them, don’t feel guilty for feeling like this just hold onto any hope you have and run with it. Xxx
I can relate to this so much!! This is exactly how I felt in first year, I was homesick all the time. I didn't love living there but I find my feet with a good group of friends and it was a good year but I just didn't enjoy living in halls and they aren't for everyone. You shouldn't feel guilty if you come back home regularly if that's what you need then that's what you need x
Totally relate to crying despite nothing technically being wrong!! I would spend hours in the kitchen talking with my flatmates (who are my best friends now) and be having a totally lovely time, wouldn't be sad at all - but the second I got back to my room I would burst out crying! It makes you feel bad because you're still enjoying the people you're around, but you can't help but be upset. It'll get better I promise
I've been at uni for almost 2 weeks now and still cry everyday & currently going through a depressive episode so u know fun and all and also anxiety interfering with everything but you can do this gal x
Amber Wood Hope your feeling okay xxx
thank you, luckily the support system is great, I'll get there xxx
I feel exactly the same, you’re not alone! :) I haven’t eaten or slept because of constant berves
it’s so tough :( I think I’ve lost weight, I’m not sure how to pick myself up again, it’s a bad cycle x
Amber Wood I've felt exactly the same, just feel so homesick at the moment 😔 hope things get better for you x
Molly, I dropped out of uni after a week. I’m an out going person and I thought going to do the course was the right thing for me. I got there and I felt exactly like you - I wanted to like it but I just couldn’t. And despite all the good experiences I had in that week it wasn’t enough, my gut feeling was that it wasn’t the right decision for me. I’m glad I left when I did - I never looked back, and I really believe everything happens for a reason. Also the earlier you leave the better chances you have of the accommodation filling you room meaning you won’t have to pay rent even when you aren’t living there. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision whether that’s to stay or not. You have built your own business with RUclips and you’re only 18 and I think you forget that. You’ll build a successful career for yourself whether that’s with a degree or without. PMA is definitely key whether it’s being positive with going back home or positive trying go love the course. Hope you feel clearer soon x
I just want to say that when I went to uni 4 years ago, when I first went it was the hardest thing I ever did- I was always on the phone to my family, crying to them I wanted to quit, crying by myself in my room, so homesick - basically I wanted to leave before it had all even properly started! Exactly how you’re feeling. I decided to try it out, and after a few weeks I honestly didn’t look back. It can feel very lonely to begin with, but you really do develop the best friendships ever in life and make the best memories! I promise it will be the best time of your life, everyday I wish I could go back to my uni day! But I never forget how hard it was to start with but I am proud that I stuck it out and was brave, and you will be too! Keep your chin up and try and stay positive x
I moved country for uni and the first few weeks were so much adjustment but I didn't have the option of going home. I think the option of going home makes it harder to stay. Try and see going home as a treat instead something you need to do yourself to make yourself feel better. ❤️
I remember in my first week at uni I sat on the floor of my little room crying and googling “how do you drop out of uni”. Once I go through those tough first few weeks everything got so much better and I’m so glad I stayed! Just know that your feelings are valid and everyone is in the same boat. Sending good vibes my love ❤️
Hi Molly. I experienced the same thing when I started uni at Leeds (2012). I was very anxious and unsettled, had panic attacks and the only thing I wanted to do was leave and go home. I went to the doctors (Leeds student medical practice are great) and spoke to a professional about the anxiety which helped a lot. The thing that really got me settled though was joining a society. Once you feel like you have a secure friendship group, it really improves things so I would suggest trying a few out and meeting like minded people. Going home isn’t the worst thing, but I wouldn’t avoid it for a little while until you are more settled. For me, it was so emotionally challenging to keep going back to my comfort zone at home then having to leave again. Also you could try getting your parents (and puppy!) to visit you in Leeds as that’s sort of a halfway house. I think that you communicating how you are feeling is wonderful. There is so much hype around going to uni and having the time of your life and when that doesn’t happen immediately it also feels like you are the odd one out (you definitely aren’t - people just hide it!!). Keep talking about it and I promise in time you will absolutely love Leeds. I ended up staying an extra year for a masters and would give anything to go back!! X
i feel like you need to try & busy yourself a lot but give yourself lots of love & self-care so you don't get into a negative mentality. unrelated but i love the primark skirt you bought! (-': but we all think you are doing soooo well. it's hard seeing home friends have a good time but just remind yourself that deep down they are probably struggling as well... xxx
It's horrible to see you upset but it's also really refreshing to see you so honest and real! I hope you're okay! ❤️
I started boarding school last year and I just want you to know that it’s so so so normal to cry that much, I mean that makes perfect sense. You’re whole life has been totally changed and your brain will find that hard. You’ve just got to go with it and get over the stage where you’re doubting everything because you miss the way your life used to be
So many people feel exactly the same as you and it's totally normal. Don't feel pressure to be happy all the time cause you're a human and you've got a valid reason to be anxious or upset and homesick. Other people might seem like they're fitting in great and not feeling the same as you but for all you know they could be thinking the same about you and they could be feeling the same. Once you settle in and make close friends in Leeds you'll be so glad you moved 💖
You are doing so well! Keep going ! It takes 21 days to get used to a new situation, It will get easier ! But thank you for sharing this, it makes me feel less lonely about being anxious leaving home xxx
From someone who has been to uni - what you're feeling right now is SO normal and everyone around you is feeling it too, some are just hiding it. It will get better I promise x
Seeing you cry makes me so upset for you. I know exactly how you feel, I never got over my homesickness. I lasted a year and a month before I dropped out and came home. I was like you, thought I couldn’t wait to move, was so excited to get there, and then hated being away. Do what you need to do, don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling, and don’t worry about what others think/say!
Love how real you are, as Uni just isn't for everyone! I moved out to Uni last year and after 3 weeks, I just didn't feel settled and was honestly crying all the time. Despite being scared of the stigma around 'dropping out', I decided it was the best decision for me! I took a gap year, earned some money and did some travelling and it was honestly the best decision!! I have started at a different University this year, but have decided to stay at home and commute, so it gives me the independence, but I also still have my home comforts. Honestly, forget everyone else and just think about what it best for you❤️ xxx
dont think too much about dropping out, before i went to uni i wasnt independent at all so moving away on my own was such a big change, for the first 2 or 3 weeks all i did was cry and phone my boyfriend and want to be with people i knew, it took me a good month before i really settled in and made solid friends and started to feel better about being there and i ended up having the best year of my life and made the best memories and the best friends, and dont feel too bad about going home or having your dad or other people come to visit you, i went home nearly every single weekend so if thats what you need to do to make you feel better then you can do that, dont feel pressured to stay there if you dont need to because you can settle in whilst still going home frequently!
Hey molly you probably won’t see this but I’m studying in Leeds. I was in the exact same boat as you last year and I decided to drop out but keep my place. Over the year I decided I was ready to go back and start studying and it was the best choice I ever made. I really struggled with homesickness last year but the best thing to do is keep yourself busy and try to focus on the present moment instead what everyone else is doing at home. Coming back to Leeds has made me realise how great the city is. People do look like they’re settling in but remember everyone is fighting their own little battles so could be feeling the exact same but are just covering it up. Just try to think how proud you’ll be in a years time when you’ve completed the course and developed yourself as a person! Keep going, it takes time to settle in but honestly don’t give in 💜
I'm so grateful for your realism atm. I've just moved half an hour up the road from home and I'm really struggling so to know I'm not the only one is very comforting. I hope you begin to feel better soon x
Also Molly - if you do want to drop out we will support you regardless! It’s good that you got the opportunity to discover whether you want or didn’t want to go to uni❤️
I completely understand how you feel, I was the same last year. I’m studying at Sheffield Hallam and I moved into accommodation and hated it and felt lost like you did. I now commute and starting my second year and I’m so much happier surrounded by my family at home. Even though my boyfriend is away for university and make sure to see each other every weekend. You’ll get through it, I completely understand you!!
Omg Molly don’t feel like you have to explain yourself about going home often!! Personally, I think every weekend would be perfectly acceptable hahaha especially because of your adorable pup! I am from Aus and next year I could go to uni but I don’t want to leave my puppy either hahah xxxx
Awww Molly- I just watched a bit more and my heart breaks for you. Hope you find some courage to carry on xxx
I’m in 2nd year of uni now and here’s my top tips for clubbing in winter:
- you don’t feel the cold when you’re drunk
- take a coat and get money out for the cloakroom it’s 15/10 worth it
- you’ll be fine in a skirt when it’s cold just tough it out cause clubs are abso boiling
:)
Thank you for making these vlogs! I always considered myself a pretty independent person and I was soo ready to leave home to go to uni, but for some reason I got really homesick and it's only now in my 4th week that I feel fine most of the time, rather than feeling like crying nearly every day.... You will also start to settle soon, trust me xx And for the people telling you to keep your distance from home, I'd personally recommend to contact your parents as often as you feel like you need to.... don't punish yourself for feeling sad and lonely by not allowing yourself to talk to your family and stuff xx
Go out for walks when u feel upset alone if u can even itll mke u feel better. I hated uni first few weeks and i didnt even stay there but after a while i loved it. Uni was the best experience ive had, youll love it
I have just moved to Leeds for university too and honestly feeling the exact same! I live in Manchester so the train is like £5 so I have the same mind set in that i can just go home whenever which is reassuring but also upsetting. Everyone's in the same boat
Watching this brings back so many memories of my freshers! It was such a tough time for me, because everyone around me seemed to be best friends immediately and I thought I had no one... it wasn't until I ended up balling my eyes out at one of my coursemates about 3-4 weeks into term that I found out she felt the exact same, and we kind of decided to stick through the tough times together. After that, I fell into a group of absolutely amazing people, and honestly, looking back freshers week/year was definitely not the best time of my student life - i never get why its painted out to be that way! Third year is where all my best memories are from :) It's normal to have doubts and worries during this time, and I really hope for you that it gets better like it did for me xx
the first few weeks of uni are the toughest but you will do it !!!!! if you are really struggling there should be a sort of “stay on course/ on track” service in uni and someone you can speak to and they’ll be able to help you in any way they can! I felt the exact same when i started and that was three years ago and now in my honours year so i promise you can do this !! Distract yourself with good things and new people and you’ll always have so much support from everyone that loves you !! X
My eldest sister felt the exact same as you feel during uni and she ended up dropping out of uni during her first year, she now has a full time job and is so much happier and that decision saved her mental health, during uni she developed depression as she never properly settled in as much as she tried and she missed home so much, you’re so amazing and we love you xx
i’m sorry if this is late but i went away in may with a friend and her family and i developed really bad homesickness, i found distracting myself really good, like doing some art or watching some yt or tv really helped! i hope u are feeling better!
Dear Molly, I'm a new subscriber and a few years older than you (almost done with Uni), and I just want to say you're such a brave young woman. With 18 I definitely did not have that mindset that you have. I'ts amazing that you still think rationally even though it is so hard for you. You will get used to it all, I promise. I hate changes and the start was hard for me too. Every new semester (even now in my masters) I get anxious because I don't know the people in my classes and what is to come etc..., but once I'm in the routine and used to it all, I am okay. If you really hate the course (not the situation, just the actual course) then maybe this is not the right path for you, but if it's only the circumstances, I would fight through it. The people will probably become super close friends after a while and then you feel much more comfortable because you have people to talk to that are right there with you and you don't feel as alone. As I said, if you don't like the course, maybe search for something different, maybe something closer to home, but I would always have a plan B - you said you had one, would you consider telling us what that might be? I would give it a few months.. I think after this course you'd have great future opportunities and could build on it. xox
I'm a second year student at Leeds university and I've just moved back to Leeds from being home for the summer and I'm emotional and miss home a lot. This happened for my first few weeks during my first year too. Try to surround yourself with people when you are feeling emotional it really helps to remind me that I'm not alone.
I can totally relate to how you are feeling! I am now in my third year of uni and felt very similar in first year and I even have days when I feel the same now. Try get out and have a walk and distract yourself by being around other people. Sometimes you just need to cry it out and the next day will be a bit better. Make sure you keep talking about how you feel and don't keep it all to yourself. Xx
Swear to god things will get better! Keep at it. It’s only a year and you can go home on the weekends if you want! I absolutely hated first year! Went home for Christmas and then went back and it all seemed to have changed and I wasn’t as home sick.
Everyone loves you so keep going!
You’ll get through the home sickness I’m sure, just think about the exciting parts of Uni and the future that you’re beginning by being there!! Proud 💞💞
This may or may not be helpful depending on how you look at it, but please don't feel like you need to stay somewhere where you are unhappy because you're scared of 'failing' or 'quitting'- I started university on the 8th of September in a place that was also only an hour from my home but was a place I wasn't comfortable living. I couldn't see myself ever wanting to be there more than being home because I missed my boyfriend my family and my friends (and dogs too- I also got a puppy a few weeks before uni and leaving her was SO hard) so on Friday I decided that being unhappy and stressed and putting strain on myself wasn't helping anything so I left that day and handed in my withdrawal form. I thought I was going to feel disappointed in myself but more than anything I was actually proud of myself for putting myself first and doing something that a lot of people wouldn't understand because most people seemed to think it was important to just 'stick it out' but to be honest, nothing is more important than your happiness and that's what I think needs to always take priority so regardless of what you do or whether you stay or not just remember that it doesn't have to be permanent and you can do whatever you want, you're never stuck or trapped even if it may feel that way:) xx
I felt exactly as you do when I started uni as a fresher, so my heart broke a little bit watching this. But I’m so happy you’re forcing yourself to give it a shot before deciding whether it’s what you really want or not ✨
I’m now in my third year at uni and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been - I know your course is only a year, but things can change so quickly in a university environment. Hold onto that ❤️
I've dropped out of uni twice , i just wasnt ready for it so now I'm studying at home until next year when I know I'll be ready and I'm so much happier !! Do what you need to do and what will make you the happiest! Uni and college etc will always be there ! X
I felt exactly the same as you last year when I was a fresher at uni, I cried my eyes out when my parents left and whenever I thought of home, and I cried down the phone to my parents thinking that my course wasn't right for me. I'll tell you honestly it does get better, I had the best year of my life last year and I'm so excited to start second year! It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to not know what you want, but as you get used to new surroundings, new people, it will start becoming easier, I hope everything is okay
(sorry if this is long ) molly, if your gut is telling you it doesn't feel right and you feel it yourself, its okay to not want to continue and change it all, its happens, its sucks and its hard but tell yourself that this happens to so many people and its totally normal to feel this way. It happened to me this year, i wanted to go to Montreal bc i wanted to live the same experience as my sister and i wanted to go to uni there, my expectations were a bit high and ended up having the worst year ever, cried every week and kept going no matter how hard it was, i found a routine and that was nice but appart from that it was literally mental breakdowns ( even on my birthday). I felt zero motivation, no energy, had zero friends ( bc i was in a preparatory year not even in a BA), i failed all my finals and i decided to quit and leave to paris my hometown and pursue digital communication studies, i never looked back, never regretted ( sure i would have changed my first year but im better where i am now) life has odd ways of figuring itself out and everything happens for a reason.
edit : also if you dont happen to figure out what you wanna do later its fine to put it on pause, you are going to be a Successful woman, you already are shining on RUclips, you're young and incredible, concentrate on the positives of your life, i know this is hard but ik you're gonna be okay. Much love !!
I’m in my 3rd year now and every time I’ve come back to uni I’ve felt the way you do. The best advice I could give you is to take each day as it comes. Try not to think about the whole year (it’s not even a year, just Sept-May) and just focus on whatever you’re doing that day💛you don’t need to explain yourself when going home/having visitors. And as you’ve said dropping out is absolutely fine. Love you girl😘
For someone who's been through the whole uni process, this video reminds me of exactly what the start was like for me and how I felt... it took me until at least the Easter holidays to feel settled! Then after that I had the best time! Definitely wasn't easy, but was so worth it. I know everyone's different and maybe you'll find that it's not for you, but just be patient and not too hard on yourself for now :)
I’m currently on freshers week too and I’m finding these videos so helpful knowing someone else is feeling how I am!!!x
There is nothing wrong with crying, it's alright to cry. You will soon understand what you want to do, if thats leaving university or staying. You will do what's right for you! ❤❤❤❤
Molly, there isn’t enough focus on how moving out for uni isn’t for everyone. Everyone claims it’s the best time of your life but it isn’t always so don’t let it upset you! I moved out for uni and lasted only 2 months (luckily I only live 40 mins away so I could drive in from home and continue with my course) but the best thing I did was move back home as it started affecting my mental health and my uni work xx
Freshers week: students livers shudder at the mention
When I started my first year last year I went through the exact same, I'd keep myself busy with my flatmates and meeting people on my course but when it was all over and I was by myself in my room i'd just breakdown and just say to myself what the hell is wrong with you because you had fun with these people and now you're crying. So its completely normal honestly! One thing i'd advise is try not to go home as much, even though lottie is absolutely gorgeous! But try and get the people you miss the most to visit you in Leeds so you feel less homesick and this weird unfamiliar setting feels slightly more homely. Stay positive lovely!! xxxx
The first month of uni is a whirl mind, it’s such a huge change in your life. I honestly felt all of these feelings your having. I hope you’re okay Molly x
Ps. Continuing the story my boyfriend went to Leeds and I went to Kent (4 hours away) and the home sickness was real, and he also struggled being alone in the city. Talking about it makes you feel better and just make friends with everyone you meet and everything will fall into place x
I think the main issue is being alone. When you are out etc your mood is going to be lifted. I 100% can understand where your coming from. Although I haven’t been to uni I suffer with depression and I know when I’m with people chatting etc I’m not to bad but when I’m on my own and in my own thoughts that’s when I struggle. Be proud of yourself girl, you may not feel like your doing well but you are. When you’ve made solid friends you won’t struggle as much but if you feel like it’s not for you and not just the missing home just if you don’t feel like the course is for you then don’t feel a failure! PS have you fixed your toilet? XXX
loved the reality of this vlog I feel the same about moving for uni three weeks ago, I’ve been at home the past couple days and it hit me how much I missed home. But it will get better, each day it has started to for me and it will do for you with time. It’s okay to feel like this, and remember you can always leave whenever you want💘 it’s okay if you did ‘drop out’ and I hope things feel better soon x
It gets better but whatever you decide everyone supports you 100%! I had a horrible first year at uni but now I’m in my third year and currently am so happy!
im at uni first year and i can relate so much with how you are feeling like ive only been away from home for a week and ive had so many high highs and low lows! but im sure once settled in properly all will be fine its the best time ofyour life so enjoy hun xoxo
I honestly cried for the first few month of Uni, and I thought it would never get easier or better but it did! A year later and I've got so many friends and I'm actually excited to go back, it won't feel like it now but *I PROMISE* it gets better! Stay strong and keep going, sending some love from a new subscriber xx
I think what you're going through is really normal ! I felt the same way . I think freshers and first year is really overhyped and the loneliness is completely forgotten . It's a really isolating time and try and stick through it ! Xxx
Your vlogs really help me! I’m at Leeds for uni just like you and I’m so homesick, you made me realise I’m not on my own! Thank you so much for being so real x
I so feel everything in this... I do consider myself a very independent person but I’ve honestly found the first few weeks awful and looking at other people seemingly having the time of their lives doesn’t help!
I felt like a proud big sister at the end of this video. Look how far you’ve come since last week. You seem so buoyant at the end of the video and I’m so confident you’ll find your uni feet soon! So proud of you! Keep going Lovely! X
I completely get how you feel, it’s my second week at uni and I’m finding it so hard to settle in and people around me are like already best friends and it’s just so hard
Girl I feel you!❤ I'm in second year at Leeds, and freshers week was so so hard for me! I cried sooo much and I nearly packed it in and went home but I'm so glad I stuck it through because I LOVE being in Leeds now!
I have started uni in Leeds last week and I have literally cried for two days straight and I have had to go home for four days because I can’t cope. I am so glad that it isn’t just me that’s upset x
Honestly I know how you feel, I started uni last September, studying a course I thought I’d love. I struggled for the first few weeks, then I got into a routine and was happier for a while, and then I hit rock bottom and decided that the course I was studying and where I was studying just wasn’t right for me, so at the end of my first semester I decided to drop out of university. I went home pretty much every weekend, the only time I stayed at weekends, was when friends visited me.
I felt like a failure when I dropped out, I questioned myself to why it didn’t work for me and why it worked for everyone else. I’ve spent the last 9 months working full time and exploring my options and giving myself time to find what will make me happy and which career path is right for me, and I am currently completing my UCAS application all over again to start studying next September.
2 years ago, when I first applied for uni, I questioned myself as to whether I was ready, but felt that as all my friends were going to uni I needed to go at 18 as well. I honestly wish I’d taken a few years out, and given myself more time to decide what works for me, so I am looking forward to starting my uni venture again in a years time.
You do what makes you happy, but don’t rush into a decision that leaves your questioning yourself in the future. You are young, you have plenty of time, and whether you stick it out and find your feet or find that uni isn’t for you, only you can make that decision and no one can judge you for it.
I promise things will work out for the best in the end, and you are not alone in how you feel, it’s a experience most people go through when they start uni, whether it be when they first start or a month later. Just carry on being you, express your emotions and don’t bottle them up, as it’ll only make you feel worse, it’s ok to cry xxx
aw molly I feel for you girly. homesickness passes slowly and with time and practice. You are one of the most honest people ever online. I really hope this week will be a little better for you. hope your ok. lots of love xox
When I first went to uni it took me about a month to settle in. I was convinced that I was going to spend the next 3 yrs hating life and just gritting my teeth and getting on with it. After about a month though I loved almost every moment from then on. My course got me the degree I wanted; it wasn’t my passion but uni was worth so much more than that to me. My friends now several years after I have graduated are largely still my uni friends and my experience shaped me so much as a person. I really hope you begin to feel like this too as I would love for you to enjoy your time as much as I did.
I am currently a second years student and at the start of my first year, I hated it. I hated my course, I hated being upset all the time and hated being away from home. What really helped me was going home every so often (much to my sister's dismay) and trying my hardest to make friends. By the end of the year, I cried when I had to leave my flat, and felt so emotional when I had to leave my friends. Like Fabulous Hannah says, "no rain, no flowers". You may feel like this now, but I guarantee you that by the end of it, you will love it.
I’m only five mins in but can I just say it’s nice to see you being honest but honestly don’t question how other people are fitting in and loving it because honestly, everyone feels different about it, that was me a year ago and trust me it takes time! But you’re being brave and I hope it gets better for you and as much as going home can make you feel worse about going back, it’s also good to have plans and something to look forward too.
I know exactly how you're feeling because I was the exact same. I started uni 3 years ago, so I've recently just graduated and I found it so difficult in my first year. I really struggled to make friends on my course and the girls I tried to make friends with ended up excluding me from everything so I felt so isolated and like I didn't have anyone. My flat mates were so nice but they had their own friends from their courses so I wouldn't see them all the time. Most nights I would just sit in my room and cry because I felt so alone. I went home every other weekend because I was so home sick, I put on a lot of weight because I felt so depressed and I really struggled with the work. So what you're feeling is totally normal, don't worry. I made the decision after my first year to commute to university as it was only an hour on the train and it was the best decision I ever made. I ended up moving out with my fiancé and I was so much happier and I actually graduated, which I never believed I would do. It will get easier and how you're feeling is totally normal xxxx
cant explain how watching this has made me feel. this is exactly how i've been feeling for the last week and i can only hope it gets better from here for you! love your vlogs so much!! xxx
You’re doing really well Molly, when I went to uni it was the little things like the ugly curtains and blank walls that made me homesick, I took down the ugly ones and bought some cute ones in Wilko and put a kettle and nice mug in my room so I had some comforts. I also used the same washing powder as my family so it didn’t all smell weird and different. You’ll get there x
Hey Molly, when I was a fresher I also found it so hard to settle in. I was homesick, cried on the phone to my family pretty much every night asking them to book a ticket home but it does get better with time! You'll meet people at uni who are going through the same thing as you - you're not alone!
Good luck for your course! xx
Aww lovely 😢😢 don't put too much pressure on yourself, uni is a massive deal and if you drop out it's not the end of he world! I'm in my second year and had to study from home and commute because I had a baby so I can't even imagine how you feel being away from home. I wouldn't be able to do it, give yourself more credit your doing amazing and if you want to drop out don't feel bad about doing so, happiness comes first. Lots of love xxxxxx
I'm going to uni in September, I only live around 30 mins away so it's not too bad but watching your vlogs has made me see that I don't need to worry about getting upset or homesick because it's normal so thank you for showing your true emotions and feeling about uni xxx
Honestly, I am feeling the exact same as you.. It hurts me so bad through the day and it purely hits me when im alone in my flat. I really hope you feel better soon, love u so muchh xXx
I started rewatching gossip girl from season one again too the other week - I’m on season 4 and honestly I love it more than the first time
I recently got a new job and have really struggled with having a positive attitude, and convinced myself within a week that I wanted to quit! Now I'm just trying to take each shift as it comes and think it's only a few hours before it's over and then it's done. It's so hard to adjust to new situations, I hope it's going ok for you now molly💛💛
Molly please don’t stay if you’re not happy, I know that’s sounds bad but you can go to uni at home? Do a degree closer to home where you can commute from your house? You’re still so young you don’t need to be forcing yourself to move away! Please take care of yourself. I absolutely hated every second of uni but I stuck it out and it got so hard.. trust me it’s not worth it for all the stress on your mental health ❤️
I was literally in the same situation when I first started university, I really didn’t want to be at university but I’m happy to say that I’m going into my last year of uni and I’ve never been so happy. So honestly it will get better in a couple of weeks 💕 you can do this lovely x
Freshers is THE biggest worldwind of emotions! Don’t feel silly for crying everyday.... it gets better 😌 uni is honestly the best time of your life but it takes a lot of getting used to
Don’t kick yourself for getting upset! It’s a big change and a massive step to move to uni so it’d be a miracle if you didn’t get a bit emotional! The best thing to do is keep busy finding stuff to do all the time even if it’s just cooking or washing if you feel down! Keeping busy is key 👊🏼 x
Molly don’t be hard on yourself it’s ok to be feeling how you are! My advice would be to even just say to yourself ok I’m gonna give this a shot for a month and if you still feel the same as you do now you can leave! Even leave take a year out focus on RUclips and you can always go back to uni, there’s no age limit you can go to uni in 10years time if you want to! Don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to! But if you give it even a month maybe it will be easier to get through because you know it can maybe just be a temporary thing!! Sending you lots of love!! 💞💞
It’s so horrible to see you so upset!! Keep your chin up, hopefully how you are feeling will blow over. If it doesn’t, then just do what you feel is best and that’ll make you the happiest, cause that’s what matters most. Sending all my love Molly 💘
Hi Molly! Just wanted to say I totally know what you're going through. My first year of university (I actually stayed home and went to a nearby university in my city), but all of my close friends went away. And I guess it was just a whole new adjustment and I was incredibly unhappy. But I find that when I made more friends, got use to the new routine and kept myself busy, things got better. You'll get through this! xx
also i used a technique called tapping whenever i felt anxious about being away from my family. i’m not 100% sure how to explain it but i’m sure there are videos explaining it, i also lost my appetite and i found eating things like watermelon really good because it was just like drinking something!! i just had to keep reminding myself that i was there to have a good time and the more i went out with my friend the waisted and more distracted i got!!!
I feel... EXACTLY the same as you do rn. It’s so tough and I just can’t ever imagine thinking of Leeds as a home, and I too am a literal second away from dropping out but I do know it’s always hard at the beginning and I’m sure you do too... thank you for documenting your first few weeks at uni, it’s helping me out so so much ❤️
Molly I know exactly how you feel! Around 2/3 weeks ago I moved away to university which was about 200 miles away from home and as soon as I got there it felt strange and I felt very isolated, but I gave it a chance and I decided to drop out for a number of reasons including severe social anxiety which was affecting my physical health, being homesick, the course that I was going to do had changed to what I thought it was going to be so I dropped out of uni after maybe 1 and a half weeks and have decided to take a year out of education and focus on myself, and honestly I already feel so much better with the decision I made and I might go to a university nearer to home next year! I hope you are ok, just remember that at the start a lot of people will be feeling the same as you but if you genuinely not enjoying the course or thinking that it is not for you, than maybe think about doing another course that might be better for you! X ❤️
Molly, dropping out is a hard decision, but everyone will support whatever you do!
I did two (very unhappy) years at one university before I got the courage to drop out so that I could sort my mental health out and decide what I actually wanted to do. I'm now in my 3rd and final year at a different university and I've loved (still very stressed, but liked nonetheless) it so much more!
If you need time to think, sort yourself out. Or just do whatever you want/need to do there is no shame whatsoever!
Also, I've loved watching your vlogs on university. It's so fresh to see someone who is the exact same as I was in the previous university, but I am very sorry you feel this way! xx
I'm starting university and I picked a university close to home so that I can drive there everyday and live at home. I definitely don't think I would settle into uni halls. I have friends who live at them and will be able to stay at them after nights out and stuff, I'm too much of a home person. People tell me I will be missing out but I don't even like alcohol or going out much and I have a friendship group over here. Make sure you look after yourself x
I’m in my final year at Uni now but when I started I felt exactly the same! I was also going through a break up at the time so I just wanted to be with my family and friends (and my cats) and it sucked! I’ve ended up having the best years of my life and don’t regret it at all so you’re doing the right thing by giving it a go and it will get easier💓
I feel like this is such a normal feeling to have with anything! The fact is some people deal with it slightly better because they have the want to move out. Whereas you are obviously very close with your family and with the addition of the puppy, it is understandable that’s how you will feel.
Talking about the law of attraction, if you haven’t already read The Secret! Because that goes into depth somewhat about it and how to change your mindset, and doesn’t happen overnight but it does help! Throughly enjoying your vlogs!xx
i hope you’re okay molly, it’s so difficult to watch when you’re sad but honestly i understand, i’m currently on a gap year but my friends are at uni and they’re all really struggling so you’re not alone. society and youtube glamourises university life so much, of course you’ll be upset, it’s an emotional upheaval and you will be sad. you’ll get there i promise, keep smiling. i absolutely love leeds, i live about 45 mins drive away - if you need any advice on places to go and places to go to eat then let me know! xx (also i usually tough the cold out hahaha)