I always find the line funny about how “rude” Weiss is being asking Blake an honest question. Because we’re all thinking it! It’s not rude to ask someone a question if you have a genuine interest in learning more about something you have no clear understanding of.
Like I said on a previous video, you took a forgettable character and gave him some meaningful value. By writing Tucson and attaching him to Blake the way you did, it gives us a better opportunity to get to know her, him, the white fang, and those who leave it. And he gets to be more than just some character murdered by Emerald and Mercury who otherwise could’ve been replaced by anybody Also while the scene of Pyrra beating the shit out of Team CRDL was good enough on its own, you gave it a greater value too. You again further fleshed out these characters and Velvet in order to build up to this fight and come to a resolution to a problem that began back in season one. This is how these characters should’ve been handled from the beginning in the show itself.
I wish i found this sooner. Ive been watching a lot of evaluations of RWBY after the very controversial "Volume 9". This is amazing and I love this so much. Also RIP Tucson :,)
Hell to the NO on removing the Mercury messing around with Emerald bit. That was hilarious and really played up his badboy, devil-may care "Smirkury" attitude, as well as her jealousy of having to have to share Cinder (remember she had a crush on her) with him.
7>Damn, a week and some change into the semester and students are still asking Pyrrha for autographs. The publicity Pumpkin Pete’s can give is no joke. 7>You did a really good job of pairing off RWBY with JPNR. I can easily see Yang being Jaune’s wingwoman and Ruby and Pyrrha being paired off is very fitting considering Pyrrha will be in the spotlight for a bit. A more interesting pairing for Weiss would’ve been Pyrrha since Weiss actually wanted her on her team back in the day, it doesn’t really matter for an outline but in a fully fleshed out episode it’d be easier to make more interesting. 7>Hold up… Velvet doesn’t socialize with anyone outside of RWBY or JNPR? Do you mean she doesn’t socialize with anyone else in the class or in general? 7>Penny randomly bumps into Ruby… again. 7>Pyrrha already met Penny back in Volume 1, timestamp 41:16. I guess Pyrrha left right after telling Ruby that she was looking for Jaune instead of sticking around for introductions. Ruby and Pyrrha were both also looking for supplies so I assumed she stuck around, guess not. 7>Rip Tucson, weren’t around for long but your death was well set up. 8>Damn it, whenever I rewatch these episodes I usually just listen to the audio so I completely forgot you made twink Jaune canon. Well if nothing else this helps explain why he was so weak physically when he got to Beacon. 9>I thought Cinder already found out Pyrrha’s semblance, what else did Mercury get out of it? 9>Why is Jaune eating rocks? 9>Lol Blake fits the stereotype of catgirls liking fish.
-That cereal mascot popularity, son -Velvet is actually pretty sociable when she isn't the one to initiate. She's not very outgoing, so she's limited to about three teams of friends. Maybe a few more, but none in that class, for sure. -Penny does that, and I kinda like that about their dynamic. -It's more of a formal meeting than a passing hello. -That was a single data point. For all she knew at that moment, it was just a telekinesis semblance or something else. Mercury helped confirm what it was so they had a clearer picture of what they are working with. -A boy needs his fiber
Ah beans, even if I knew it was better if he died I still kind of hoped Tukson survived I can’t believe you made me care about Tukson. Rest in Pepperonis Tukson, you will be remembered as Blake’s adoptive dad.
the thing with the first crusade, i always thought it was some kind of extreamly sensetive or even forbidden kind of book like mein Kampf, because of how tougsten reacted to the name, and that is why it wasn't in stock.
I like how you did the situation with Weiss and Blake at the end. It’s a realistic way that someone who doesn’t know how to ask something would try to ask, an untinentional rude comment but making it clear that they didn’t mean to be rude just curious
McNeil I need some advice do you know the Trails series?? If you don’t then the monster hunters in that series the bracers are almost exactly like the monsters in my story the guardians and I do NOT want to get hit with the rip off insult on a story of mine so what do I do if I find a part of my story that is Eerily similar to another well respected one plz tell me
You've got to retool the idea at the base, or find a way to bury it. Try to give the element a different level of importance in the story than in Trails. If it's super important in Trails, make it a background element, if it's a background element in Trails, make it absolutely central to the world. That's the quickest way to handle it, but sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and take the risk. That said, consult a lawyer if you're that worried about it.
This rewrite has been phenomenal so far! I love how you’ve added more interactions between RWBY, JNPR, and other people and I love even more that you’ve taken side characters like CFVY, Cardin, Tukson, and Banesaw and developed them more. This may be my favorite rewrites if RWBY that I’ve seen so far😄❤️
![Fixing RWBY Part 4: Volume 2 [Episodes 10 ⮚ 13]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/R0oXjezGw34/mqdefault.jpg)
![Fixing RWBY Part 4: Volume 2 [Episodes 10 ⮚ 13]](/img/tr.png)
![Fixing RWBY Part 5: Volume 3 [Episode 5 ⮚ 8]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E3RGsOeFVw4/mqdefault.jpg)
![Fixing RWBY Part 6: Volume 4 [Episodes 1 ⮚ 4]](/img/1.gif)
As someone who’s never watched RWBY I’m just going to pretend this is the canon plot.
If anything, i suggest watching the action scenes up to season 3. Monty's fight scenes are phenomenal.
As someone who gave up halfway through volume 5, when it went completely off the rails insane, keep it that way.
Wise decision
Better to just ignore canon RWBY to save braincells or just wait until the whole series is done.
I always find the line funny about how “rude” Weiss is being asking Blake an honest question. Because we’re all thinking it! It’s not rude to ask someone a question if you have a genuine interest in learning more about something you have no clear understanding of.
Weiss to Blake: “How do Faunus function?”
Like I said on a previous video, you took a forgettable character and gave him some meaningful value. By writing Tucson and attaching him to Blake the way you did, it gives us a better opportunity to get to know her, him, the white fang, and those who leave it. And he gets to be more than just some character murdered by Emerald and Mercury who otherwise could’ve been replaced by anybody
Also while the scene of Pyrra beating the shit out of Team CRDL was good enough on its own, you gave it a greater value too. You again further fleshed out these characters and Velvet in order to build up to this fight and come to a resolution to a problem that began back in season one. This is how these characters should’ve been handled from the beginning in the show itself.
It always frustrates me when i watch rewrites of RWBY. Everyone seems to do it better justice than the actual writers of RWBY.
Hindsight 20/20
I wish i found this sooner. Ive been watching a lot of evaluations of RWBY after the very controversial "Volume 9". This is amazing and I love this so much. Also RIP Tucson :,)
Hell to the NO on removing the Mercury messing around with Emerald bit. That was hilarious and really played up his badboy, devil-may care "Smirkury" attitude, as well as her jealousy of having to have to share Cinder (remember she had a crush on her) with him.
The Hitler edits with Weiss... They're so wrong but so right at the same time...
7>Damn, a week and some change into the semester and students are still asking Pyrrha for autographs. The publicity Pumpkin Pete’s can give is no joke.
7>You did a really good job of pairing off RWBY with JPNR. I can easily see Yang being Jaune’s wingwoman and Ruby and Pyrrha being paired off is very fitting considering Pyrrha will be in the spotlight for a bit. A more interesting pairing for Weiss would’ve been Pyrrha since Weiss actually wanted her on her team back in the day, it doesn’t really matter for an outline but in a fully fleshed out episode it’d be easier to make more interesting.
7>Hold up… Velvet doesn’t socialize with anyone outside of RWBY or JNPR? Do you mean she doesn’t socialize with anyone else in the class or in general?
7>Penny randomly bumps into Ruby… again.
7>Pyrrha already met Penny back in Volume 1, timestamp 41:16. I guess Pyrrha left right after telling Ruby that she was looking for Jaune instead of sticking around for introductions. Ruby and Pyrrha were both also looking for supplies so I assumed she stuck around, guess not.
7>Rip Tucson, weren’t around for long but your death was well set up.
8>Damn it, whenever I rewatch these episodes I usually just listen to the audio so I completely forgot you made twink Jaune canon. Well if nothing else this helps explain why he was so weak physically when he got to Beacon.
9>I thought Cinder already found out Pyrrha’s semblance, what else did Mercury get out of it?
9>Why is Jaune eating rocks?
9>Lol Blake fits the stereotype of catgirls liking fish.
-That cereal mascot popularity, son
-Velvet is actually pretty sociable when she isn't the one to initiate. She's not very outgoing, so she's limited to about three teams of friends. Maybe a few more, but none in that class, for sure.
-Penny does that, and I kinda like that about their dynamic.
-It's more of a formal meeting than a passing hello.
-That was a single data point. For all she knew at that moment, it was just a telekinesis semblance or something else. Mercury helped confirm what it was so they had a clearer picture of what they are working with.
-A boy needs his fiber
Ah beans, even if I knew it was better if he died I still kind of hoped Tukson survived
I can’t believe you made me care about Tukson.
Rest in Pepperonis Tukson, you will be remembered as Blake’s adoptive dad.
Damn. Actually gettin some use out of Cardin.
9:51 don’t worry I think it’s cannon too. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Mostly because it hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
the thing with the first crusade, i always thought it was some kind of extreamly sensetive or even forbidden kind of book like mein Kampf, because of how tougsten reacted to the name, and that is why it wasn't in stock.
I like how you did the situation with Weiss and Blake at the end. It’s a realistic way that someone who doesn’t know how to ask something would try to ask, an untinentional rude comment but making it clear that they didn’t mean to be rude just curious
I'm hooked, and I'm totally into all these changes! So well written!
oh nooo OHH NOOOOO rip tuxin >.
McNeil I need some advice do you know the Trails series?? If you don’t then the monster hunters in that series the bracers are almost exactly like the monsters in my story the guardians and I do NOT want to get hit with the rip off insult on a story of mine so what do I do if I find a part of my story that is Eerily similar to another well respected one plz tell me
You've got to retool the idea at the base, or find a way to bury it. Try to give the element a different level of importance in the story than in Trails. If it's super important in Trails, make it a background element, if it's a background element in Trails, make it absolutely central to the world. That's the quickest way to handle it, but sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and take the risk. That said, consult a lawyer if you're that worried about it.
Uhhh how are Sun and Neptune partners for this assignment? Or am I missing something.
Maybe they're not and just hang out anyway???
I think the extra rule didn't count for Exchange students
14:47 It's still confusing af
Hello so... there is gonna get a fanfic for all of this?!? Or audiobook because i want this
9:52 Awww it's so cute who is it?
Isn't Velvet a year older?
yeah but she skipped history class so had to redo it with rubys class
Kid?Tuxson looks like in his 20’s
E
This rewrite has been phenomenal so far! I love how you’ve added more interactions between RWBY, JNPR, and other people and I love even more that you’ve taken side characters like CFVY, Cardin, Tukson, and Banesaw and developed them more. This may be my favorite rewrites if RWBY that I’ve seen so far😄❤️