Most improved aspect of these episodes vs the canon is Yang’s portion showing the trials of her recovery. Glad to see Taiying point out how much of Raven’s head strong attitude was inherited by Yang despite being raised mostly by Summer.
I'm loving how you're using Sienna here, she feels like an actual leader and the fact she's always a step alongside adam makes all her scene's fill me with glee when she shuts Adam down.
The slower pacing is far improved in your version, and keeping the villain stuff in the dark really works for RWBY. Not sure how I feel about Blake joining the guard. On one hand, helping people is what Blake would do. On the other, outing herself is something I feel she would try to avoid.
Highlight of this video is the therapy episode with Yang and Tai. So much emotion, so much tension between the two and I love how Tai knows EXACTLY what to say to yang despite not wanting to talk about such a volatile subject.
The intrigue among the White Fang is great fascinating to watch. It feels like they are an organised militia more than a boogie-man. Keep it up- I like the fact villains are treated as characters, not caricatures.
My biggest hope for this rewrite is that Whitley gets explored a little bit more. I was indifferent towards him until I realized how depressing his situation is. His whole family EXCEPT for his abusive father practically ignores him and tries to ignore his existence. In fact: I’m hoping since his father is in prison. He shuts out his family and tries to “reform” the family business. Anyway! That aside! I really love this series and can’t wait for it to continue.
3:14 You...you got my name right. Like, it’s actually more “Ni-kill” than “Ni-keel”, but you pronounced it correct. I was kind of worried you’d mispronounce my name and I’d be embarrassed forever, culminating into my super villain origin story where I vow to destroy anyone who pronounces names correctly the first time. Edit: grammar
I have to say I like this new White Fang. I dont like the fact Adam still has this vendetta against Blake but I do like the fact that it is fact better portrayed than canon.
Ah, now I see why Blake has a different time skip than the others, she needs more time to work as a guard. Nice to see her actually trying to do something to move forward. I still am a little worried about connectivity with the previous volume. I understand the desire to give the cast a breather, but we have had around half the volume pass without a clear through-line. Given how important the conversation between Qrow and Raven is going to be for foreshadowing Salem I kind of wish a little more context had been provided around the name drop. Do we get the sense that is is a villain? Is there any connection to be made with Cinder or the White Fang? I could totally see Qrow saying, "The White Fang and Cinder are problems, yes, but we know what's really going on." Then Raven responds with "Salem." Qrow says, "Yes and that's why we need the spring maiden..." going on from there. I like the idea of letting things breathe but am concerned that it can look like the plot has run into a brick wall, especially if it just looks like Salem is another faction instead of the Big Bad. I really like the Tyrian reveal, though. It sounds as though you are writing Jacques to be far less of a mustache-twirling villain, which is great. I think there is a lot of room for nuance in his relationship with Weiss that the show failed to capitalize on. He obviously cares something about what she wants or else he would never have let her go to Beacon. He's also become estranged from one daughter and his wife, which would impact how he sees Weiss. He attended her recitals even after he and Willow stopped sharing the same box. There's no doubt that he's a controlling asshole, but he can still be that while caring about Weiss. I am curious to see where you want to go with this, given how little her segment ended up mattering in Volume 4. Ruby and Jaune are cute together but I am glad to see that Ren and Nora are not being left out. I will say that I found their talk about the logistics of moving the huntsman seemed a little out of character for teenagers. It feels more like trying to cover bases with explanations rather than how they would react to an injured man. I liked what they did with Yang in this volume (what there was of it) and am glad you do so too. This subplot with Adam and the White Fang is interesting. I wonder if you're providing the setup that Adam taking over in Vol 5 lacked.
It's sad being shown the scene with Yang, her dad and her teachers because I only now just realized this season was probably be the last time Burnie and Joel play these characters.
You know what would be cool, a white fang being a minister of a "faunus" church, he could be the master of those two creepy faunus guys while also being a corrupted "speciest" against humans. As for his alusion, make him be Kaa (a snake faunus), we already have Bagherra and shre Kahn why not add the rest of the jungle book ? Idk, i just really intrested on seeing a faunus religion, while also showing that not all faunus mean well
I remember back when Vol 4 was airing people thought the Hoofprint was some kind of calling card left by the Branwen tribe, people were thinking about how to connect Raven and Yang's stuff with Ren and Nora.
I found this recently searching up rwby and had a few thoughts. First off I like the setup for Brunswick. It could work if it ends up being a longer plot point in season 6 or even without a long subsection because that episode deserved a lot more anyway due to having an atmosphere that differs so much from the rest of the series (even if it feels like this may end up tying into Oscars beginning or lack of so far, but it's early in the series I'm gonna be patient). Secondly, I don't think I paid enough attention to menagerie in the original series but it sounded quite peaceful if I remember and I can't imagine a Grimm showing up. If Blake is gonna end up working in menagerie, which in itself seems like a stretch considering how Blake would more likely want to work away from a team after beacon (unless this is working towards something I'm too dumb to understand) maybe she should be fighting something else like a bear or wolf who broke through the wall? The art looks really great and the story seems to be quite an improvement from the volumes, I can't wait to see what happens next! I hope I haven't missed anything writing this
Goddamn this is all so amazing!!! You do such an amazing job w/ these! All the character and plot development is so smooth and realistic! It's so exciting seeing each new episode. This is the love and excitement for RWBY that I miss! Also that ffxv music yo
Why did Sun crash through the door? In canon it was because he was trying to warn Blake about the White Fang, but bumbled it. But why was he there in this? I'm fine with it being a joke but it feels unnecessary. Unless he's just that nosy but I hope Sun isn't just the butt monkey in this rewrite. Ruby and Jaune's conversation was something that definitely needed to happen in canon. The Pyrrha video didn't really go anywhere and I thought it was going to be brought up in Kuroyuri but nope. So I'm glad that you nipped it in the bud when it happened. Also I hope this means that you're rewriting how Silver Eyes work? Blake fighting the Deathstalker is also something I love. Gives her something to do and shows how far she's come from Season 1, strength wise. I think Sun should have been there, so the fight can be a proxy for the Sea Dragon fight but I like it as it is. Also love her Menagerie Guard design, makes her look more Kunoichi than she's ever been.
Love your videos! But I do have a small problem with the cafe scene between Sienna and Adam in episode six. I feel like it would be more fitting if she had called him in her "war room." Not where her throne is, but where she plans with the higher ups. There would be a map of Remnant so when discussing the situation in each major city/continent there would be more dynamic camera shots and make the scene visually engaging. It would also hammer in the fact she's only giving him broad strokes on her plans, keeping some card close to her chest like him. The scene could begin with the higher up leaving after a detail planning of their next move, and he could snarl at the men as they leave before Sienna starts her lecture. She could use the large map to interact with the setting and when Adam get pissed, slamming a fist on the table, her head piece represented in mistral could fall over (obvious foreshadow though). If the bar was needed for being "faunas friendly" we could use the scene from the training room and have Ilia and Adam walking together into it, establishing that they had gotten pretty close after their initial meeting, enough to get a drink together. And there when Ilia says they have a few allies, she could look around the bar to meet eyes with Uma and a few others, which Adam also sees (kind of like in Vol. 6 and the spider gang). I also like that Yang is taking therapy. Volume 5 really didn't help when they dropped her entire depression and failed to establish her getting used to her new arm. And seeing Tai and Yang talk in depth about her mommy issues also was fun to see.
Ahh I enjoyed that little scene between Jaune and Ruby😊. A idea and a thought did occur to me at the end of this video. 1. When Qrow does join up with team RNJR and eventually gets patched up maybe he takes on the mentor role showing that he was at one point a teacher, Jaune being the easiest example of what he can teach them (swordsmanship, maybe aura control) the others I don’t know I’ll leave that up to you. 2. Will you be addressing why Tyrian was interested in Jaune in the future or are you going to leave that alone.
Half a week? So is it 3 days, 4 days, or the night of the third day? Anyways love the rewrite especially the part with Tai and Yang. It would have been awesome to have Bernie and Barbara going at it with this scene.
Should we be expecting a new part every week? (Edit) thoughts on episode 5 - 9 Main focus on character development, a few characters getting a bit more development then others. (To be expected) A good amount of foreshadowing in the background along with world building. (Someone been watching one piece) A really good small tease on the big bad well mainly focussing on slowly building up the lower ter villains. (the best bit so far of this rewrite) In context, maybe a little slow in places and a fast in others but looking over 1 - 4 it keeps a good pace going so far. (so a good first half of a season with very little to complain with) A really big up, hearing we are only starting to tease the big bad in this season, hopefully we dont see her at all in this season. (I love I got that right from the first part) Loving the rewrite so far keep up the great work you're doing.
17:17 I have a serious problem with this. It took all of team JNPR to finish off one Deathstalker, And I remember (sorry if I'm wrong) that you said that both teams were much more ragged after the fights with the giant Grimm. And now Blake, after only one year maybe one and a half years of Training can 1 V 1 the Deathstalker. That really doesn't sit well with me. Even if it got shocked and caught off guard, I still think Blake can't do this alone. And it's an easy fix, just have Sun, or Ghira show up. If Blake lands that final hit and gets most (not all, but most) of the credit on the paper, Adam will still see it and that plot will still kick off. It would just make more sense, and RWBY has enough power scaling issues in Cannon. Or you could say it's a young Deathstalker, showing that it's smaller an not as tough as the one that JNPR killed. I get the arguement can be made that "I shows how much stronger she has become" but then we loop back to a problem you fixed at the beginning, that Grimm are a joke. A Deathstalker, one of the stronger types when full grown, being taken out mostly by one young adult. Also, if we have Blake get if help, then Sun's little speach at the end of her volume 4 story would have a bit more weight if Sun/Ghira was temporarily knocked out, and Blake thinks it's serious. I like the scene, don't get me wrong. But I think that small twick could make it so less people are going "That doesn't seem right" Like I was.
This was much, much, muuuch better than Part 1 in my opinion. I really loved pretty much everything done with Blake's stuff, Adam and Ilia were very well improved from the (I'll be honest) dogshit portrayal in Part 1 and I'm very happy that certain scenes, namely the Qrow and Raven talk, went basically untouched. That being said, I still have a couple of issues: 1. The first, and easily my biggest complaint so far: I sincerely hope your set-up for Brunswick Farm actually has relevance to this Volume. Because right now, it feels super unnecessary and build-up for a subplot that really should not be built up, involving fleshing out of characters who do not need fleshing out. And unless this has relevance to Volume 4 itself, these should honestly be cut completely, if I'm being blunt. 2. While I'm glad we're finally getting crumbs, the lack of Salem's presence in this Volume is really starting to disconcert me. It feels like you're stretching out the build-up to Salem in an attempt to "fix" something that honestly really didn't need fixing. Salem gets plenty of build-up in Volumes 1-3. I can tolerate it for at least a bit longer but how long do you intend to strech out Salem's proper introduction into the series? 3. While I like the concept of expanding the Jaune/Ruby scene from Volume 4, Chapter 2, it felt just a bit wordy for my liking. It felt like a conversation where a lot was being said but not a lot was being conveyed. It's still a good scene but I think the dialogue could've been trimmed to be more concise. Overall, a very big improvement over Part 1. Hopefully, you can keep that up. I'm rooting for you and this rewrite.
I agree with the lack of presence. I am also concerned about whether or not the audience will link Cinder with Salem properly, especially given how people will probably be wondering what happened to Cinder after Vol 3.
Not too much to say here, all of it good and fleshed out, I particularly like how you're doing justice to Sienna as the *smart* revolutionary. I suppose the one thing that I really liked was how Ruby's thought's partially triggered her silver eyes, nice into to how those actually work.
Man, you're really pushing this whole Brunswick farm thing. And we haven't even touched Oscar or Ozpin yet. Just a wild & uneducated guess: It feels like Oscar is gonna replace with the boy from Brunswick & have him inherit Oz's soul. If that isn't the case, then I don't really see any reason why Brunswick is getting any attention at all, especially this early.
I have to say I'm not really liking how you're expanding on the Brunswick Farm incident from Vol 6 like this. Obviously we have 13 episodes to go, but given that those 2 episodes are probably the best segment in the entire show I don't feel like we really need expansion on the history of the farm beyond what we already got. If anything, the flaws in that segment are not following up on the stuff it brought up with more interesting potential long-term consequences (Yang's issues with Blake's "protect you" comment and the "Why are we doing this at all again" pondering about Ozpin). I'm not sure where you're going with this (My only guess is that its some kind of revised backstory for your Oscar replacement), but by this point we would be 9 episodes into the season and I don't think you've even established where that town is supposed to be in the world or the audience should care about it yet, and that makes it feel very out of place. I'm also not a fan of how much screen time Adam is getting right now, but that I could see going to interesting places in the future so I'm not going to complain about it as much. Outside of those issues though, this has been a fairly big improvement in the "Volume". The characterization is much better in a characterization-focused season, and I'm glad that you kept most of Weiss's good arc while rewriting most of Blake's terrible one. Eagerly awaiting the next pare of this series!
I disagree wholeheartedly, the Brunswick Farm episodes are probably the best in RWBY yet they could literary be placed anywhere with just some minor tweaks without affecting the plot.
@@kana22693 Thing is, I feel like the fact that we *know* why its relevant now colors our perspective of it differently than someone just watching this for the first time. Even just a throw-away line from someone about the farms being "a few week's travel from the city of Mistral" or something could give the audience an idea that whatever's going on at the farm is going to be relevant to RNJR later in the season.
I honestly don't see the point of hiding Salem so much. While sure it makes us as much in the dark as the characters but besides maybe a few changes Salem's perspective thing was a nice Dramatic Irony.
Death con Because ultimately Salem’s scenes with her council of evil weren’t really important. Keeping some secrets and building mystery around people like Tyrian and Hazel would’ve been more better as we have to keep a focus on the characters that are actually important and only bring the villains in when they actually become relevant. Watts didn’t do anything important until Volume 7, three years after his introduction, all those scenes he had could’ve easily been removed and nothing would change. That’s not good writing, we should only see the villains when it becomes narratively important, we shouldn’t know that Cinder and Tyrian are associates until that actually matters. And we should have the heroes be pushing the story forward, not the villains. The show itself has that huge problem where only the villains are really pushing the plot along while the heroes just react to things happening to them, that’s not an engaging story.
Hmmmm, I really hoping for the Brunswick farm plot line. Not because I like it but I hoping it has something to do with the plot for this volume. It just feels out of place to me. Love everything else though. Just waiting on the full volume video.
They are literally called 'Bandits' Those typically don't have positive or neutral implications in most societies. They aren't exactly Robin Hood and his merry men...
@@CelticPhoenix Tho true it isn't a gang of outlaws, if it was "Tribe" would be a rather strange way to refer to it. Idk seems like a big missed opportunity
I feel super foolish about this but I can’t for the life of me remember what the cry was referring to at 23:55. I feel kinda dumb for asking but what way this in reference to?
Idk either. I even watched the rest of the series on a fast speed just to recap and I could find why. I may have missed it. I'm replying just to see if anyone who knows says anything.
5> Beacon is halfway to being reclaimed… It’s only been five episodes and no reclamation efforts or fighting there for that matter have been shown. There was a brief period of action in the elevator but that was for a personal mission and it ended in failure. Idk just seems like a major milestone that’s being used instead as a throwaway line to signal time passing. 5> Two weeks to Higanbana, no mentioning as to whether this is factoring in having to carry the dying guy. Was Jaune planning on leaving him after patching him up? 6> I can understand Ghira and Kali having a warm welcome for Blake but having Ghira prop her up by saying that she got herself out so it’s all good feels off. Like you start off saying the conversation is awkward but then say they’re both very understanding despite not having seen each other in years. Maybe while Ghira is mad at Sun for going after his daughter who he loves to the point of supporting her despite her running away, Kali is mad at her for abandoning and robbing her of the experience of being a mother while loving Sun because she thinks he can give her the experience of being a grandmother. Maybe years ago they had to go through marriage counseling due to Blake running away (Kali wanting Ghira to go after her while he wants to let her find her own way) and that’s why she’s an only child in a world where having as many siblings as Jaune is reasonable. Idk I’m just rambling because I’m getting the “Blake is the most mature one of the girls” --M&K vibes due to everyone supporting her through all this. Hell even the ship Captain and Saber supported her without criticizing her. 6> Klein is cringe, the most interesting thing he ever did was when it was mentioned in passing that he was fired. Why even keep him in the rewrite? 6> “Sienna found someone in Atlas with political aspirations”. Aight before you introduce Robyn Hillary hear me out. You don’t need to add every character into the rewrite if you can give their purpose in the story to a pre-existing character that would benefit from gaining it. An example would be removing Gordon Goodbrother (government name Pietro Polendina) and instead making Penny’s creator and father figure Ironwood. Going back to Robyn, any sensible person hates her with an unsensible passion and knows her design is ugly, just give her role to Fiona. This is a visual medium, trim the fat by getting rid of the ugly characters of Atlas that aren’t worth the effort of redesigning: Vine, Elm, Robyn, Joan and May. That leaves you with Clover, Harriet and Marrow which can be expanded into a normal team of four if you make Fiona a previous member of the Ace Ops with Winter as her replacement. 7> Personally would’ve preferred if Ilia hadn’t mentioned her parents to Adam, it seems like unnecessary info at that point and could’ve been something she only confided in Blake. If you don’t like the “only my love knows this'' trope you could’ve also made it so Adam knew which would imply a past falling out between the two although it would still need work to not feel janky in this scene. 7> Was gonna say the conversation between Blake and Saber felt really inorganic but he’s speaking on behalf of Ghira so it makes sense. 7> Full tooth genuine smile is too much since this is her first time back in action, her superior got knocked out and it was later revealed that there were casualties. 8> Nice Raven actually wanting Yang twist, really great scene. 8> Really obvious suggestion but you can use Ruby playing video games less and less to show her growing maturity as she has less time to waste. 9> Just occurred to me that Brunswick stuff is happening two volumes ahead of schedule. Here’s hoping something becomes of it this season cause otherwise it’s just filling space in episodes in the wrong season. Oh God please tell me you’re keeping oscart out of the rewrite and not using the farm to introduce him, fucking hate him. Conspiracy theory time, feel free to ignore the rest of this comment. Ozpin wasn’t supposed to reincarnate into Jaune like many think but instead into Ren. They both have a green color scheme (the overlooked fifth color of the show), had similar personalities (“like minded soul” as v5 puts it), and an affinity for Aura (Aura World of Remnant implied Ozpin’s mastery of it made him “more than just a man”, aka the gods are bs and he was originally meant to be able to reincarnate on his own). This also explains why v4 gave Ren so much screen time that didn’t go anywhere and as a plus it would’ve given most pairs in RNJR an interesting dynamic. Logos aside here’s some pathos. Reimagine the funny scenes where Qrow decks oscart or where Jaune pins him against a wall but instead it’s Ren.
Point if you say Yang yang Yang, the dad, you should be saying the word you, he won't .She fought for you This sounds weird.He don't use the word he keeps in the main character's name not you as a person
D Rom I don’t know about you but I would say that it’s better. RWBY has squandered a lot of it’s potential and has numerous story problems, at least in this rewrite things are far better connected and more focused.
Let's put it this way, why is Blake able to suddenly 1v1 a dathstalker wih little too no extra training when pirah the prodigy who fought a maiden couldn't? This could have been a chance to show Blake she can't do everything alone. Why is Adam having a beer wih his boss? Didn't we already get this same seen wih crow and raven? At least there it made sence a alcoholic brother with his sister. And why son? Just why, he is pointless, and you even keep the seen of him listening to private conversations in some one elses house? If he doesnt turn out. To be a spy for the whightfang then he is just an dirt bag. And ilias relationship with adam still makes no cense. When im jelouse of a girl i hate how they like not the one i like.
@@drom5970 I can see why Blake being able to 1v1 a deathstalker is annoying but compared vanilla RWBY who shot powerscaling while it was laying in the dirt after Volume 4 this isn't that bad especially with the why she beats it. Doesn't mean he shouldn't work on it.
Yeah, the lack of fights combined with multiple story lines all over Remnant makes it seem more like a soap opera akin to GoT than an action show. I'm not saying that it's not written competently though.
![Fixing RWBY Part 6: Volume 4 [Episodes 10 ⮚ 13]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/VQLEqg8tuVU/mqdefault.jpg)
![Fixing RWBY Part 6: Volume 4 [Episodes 10 ⮚ 13]](/img/tr.png)
![Fixing RWBY Part 6: Volume 4 [Episodes 18 ⮚ 22]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8wudPzifnOc/mqdefault.jpg)
![Fixing RWBY | Volume 5 [Episodes 1 ⮚ 4]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5I9aShj80s0/mqdefault.jpg)
![Fixing RWBY Part 5: Volume 3 [Episode 13 ⮚ 16]](/img/1.gif)
Most improved aspect of these episodes vs the canon is Yang’s portion showing the trials of her recovery. Glad to see Taiying point out how much of Raven’s head strong attitude was inherited by Yang despite being raised mostly by Summer.
I especially like how neither Yang or Tai are portrayed negatively for how they feel about Raven. It’s just their experience.
I drew a total of 68 pictures for this, with 27 of those 68 turned into fully rendered images!
Worth it lmao
Ya did a good job on those pictures ya be proud of them.
You deserve all of our congratulations! 🎉
TheFloofArtist you did a good job, it looks cute and so anime
Damn floof 68! What a huge amount!
the floof is awesome
I'm loving how you're using Sienna here, she feels like an actual leader and the fact she's always a step alongside adam makes all her scene's fill me with glee when she shuts Adam down.
The slower pacing is far improved in your version, and keeping the villain stuff in the dark really works for RWBY. Not sure how I feel about Blake joining the guard. On one hand, helping people is what Blake would do. On the other, outing herself is something I feel she would try to avoid.
Highlight of this video is the therapy episode with Yang and Tai.
So much emotion, so much tension between the two and I love how Tai knows EXACTLY what to say to yang despite not wanting to talk about such a volatile subject.
The intrigue among the White Fang is great fascinating to watch. It feels like they are an organised militia more than a boogie-man. Keep it up- I like the fact villains are treated as characters, not caricatures.
My biggest hope for this rewrite is that Whitley gets explored a little bit more. I was indifferent towards him until I realized how depressing his situation is. His whole family EXCEPT for his abusive father practically ignores him and tries to ignore his existence. In fact: I’m hoping since his father is in prison. He shuts out his family and tries to “reform” the family business. Anyway! That aside! I really love this series and can’t wait for it to continue.
Oh shit I never thought to premier rewrites to see everyone's live reactions. Totally gunna do that next time.
Holy shit you're alive.
UNIQUE!
Thank You For making me a pirate.
Uniquenameosaurus comments on my video and the only thing worth noting was that I premiere my rewrites...
...
Wait, you do rewrites? o-o
10:40 oh my god. Actual emotions, this is unprecedented!
I mean like, a realistic situation with real emotional investment. Kudos.
the best part of waking up is phoenix in your... notifications
I laughed way more then I should.
3:14 You...you got my name right. Like, it’s actually more “Ni-kill” than “Ni-keel”, but you pronounced it correct. I was kind of worried you’d mispronounce my name and I’d be embarrassed forever, culminating into my super villain origin story where I vow to destroy anyone who pronounces names correctly the first time.
Edit: grammar
Speaking three languages has its bonuses XD
I have to say I like this new White Fang. I dont like the fact Adam still has this vendetta against Blake but I do like the fact that it is fact better portrayed than canon.
22:49 Real creative with the newspaper article on the right.
I liked that Taiyang is utilized more in fixing as unlike in canon he is not utilized as much or given his perspective in the raven problem
That moment between Jaune and Ruby almost made me cry. Serious.
Ah, now I see why Blake has a different time skip than the others, she needs more time to work as a guard. Nice to see her actually trying to do something to move forward.
I still am a little worried about connectivity with the previous volume. I understand the desire to give the cast a breather, but we have had around half the volume pass without a clear through-line. Given how important the conversation between Qrow and Raven is going to be for foreshadowing Salem I kind of wish a little more context had been provided around the name drop. Do we get the sense that is is a villain? Is there any connection to be made with Cinder or the White Fang? I could totally see Qrow saying, "The White Fang and Cinder are problems, yes, but we know what's really going on." Then Raven responds with "Salem." Qrow says, "Yes and that's why we need the spring maiden..." going on from there. I like the idea of letting things breathe but am concerned that it can look like the plot has run into a brick wall, especially if it just looks like Salem is another faction instead of the Big Bad. I really like the Tyrian reveal, though.
It sounds as though you are writing Jacques to be far less of a mustache-twirling villain, which is great. I think there is a lot of room for nuance in his relationship with Weiss that the show failed to capitalize on. He obviously cares something about what she wants or else he would never have let her go to Beacon. He's also become estranged from one daughter and his wife, which would impact how he sees Weiss. He attended her recitals even after he and Willow stopped sharing the same box. There's no doubt that he's a controlling asshole, but he can still be that while caring about Weiss. I am curious to see where you want to go with this, given how little her segment ended up mattering in Volume 4.
Ruby and Jaune are cute together but I am glad to see that Ren and Nora are not being left out. I will say that I found their talk about the logistics of moving the huntsman seemed a little out of character for teenagers. It feels more like trying to cover bases with explanations rather than how they would react to an injured man.
I liked what they did with Yang in this volume (what there was of it) and am glad you do so too.
This subplot with Adam and the White Fang is interesting. I wonder if you're providing the setup that Adam taking over in Vol 5 lacked.
It's sad being shown the scene with Yang, her dad and her teachers because I only now just realized this season was probably be the last time Burnie and Joel play these characters.
You know what would be cool, a white fang being a minister of a "faunus" church, he could be the master of those two creepy faunus guys while also being a corrupted "speciest" against humans.
As for his alusion, make him be Kaa (a snake faunus), we already have Bagherra and shre Kahn why not add the rest of the jungle book ?
Idk, i just really intrested on seeing a faunus religion, while also showing that not all faunus mean well
I remember back when Vol 4 was airing people thought the Hoofprint was some kind of calling card left by the Branwen tribe, people were thinking about how to connect Raven and Yang's stuff with Ren and Nora.
I found this recently searching up rwby and had a few thoughts.
First off I like the setup for Brunswick. It could work if it ends up being a longer plot point in season 6 or even without a long subsection because that episode deserved a lot more anyway due to having an atmosphere that differs so much from the rest of the series (even if it feels like this may end up tying into Oscars beginning or lack of so far, but it's early in the series I'm gonna be patient).
Secondly, I don't think I paid enough attention to menagerie in the original series but it sounded quite peaceful if I remember and I can't imagine a Grimm showing up. If Blake is gonna end up working in menagerie, which in itself seems like a stretch considering how Blake would more likely want to work away from a team after beacon (unless this is working towards something I'm too dumb to understand) maybe she should be fighting something else like a bear or wolf who broke through the wall?
The art looks really great and the story seems to be quite an improvement from the volumes, I can't wait to see what happens next! I hope I haven't missed anything writing this
4:02 I like how you explicitly said go make babies with sun as if you looked at the rule34 of her.
I saw the sideways glances she was throwing him, thank you very much. The animators knew *exactly* what they were doing.
Celtic Phoenix Productions 😏😁
Goddamn this is all so amazing!!! You do such an amazing job w/ these! All the character and plot development is so smooth and realistic! It's so exciting seeing each new episode.
This is the love and excitement for RWBY that I miss!
Also that ffxv music yo
There’s a lot of smart decisions in this rewrite but I’m still having a bit of trouble following the timeline (my own fault).
It's not super important to know when things line up other than knowing that they do. Each story-line is relatively self contained.
I can't get enough of the rework on the outfits. And the changes for wiess, yang, and blake's stories are amazing.
Why did Sun crash through the door? In canon it was because he was trying to warn Blake about the White Fang, but bumbled it. But why was he there in this? I'm fine with it being a joke but it feels unnecessary. Unless he's just that nosy but I hope Sun isn't just the butt monkey in this rewrite.
Ruby and Jaune's conversation was something that definitely needed to happen in canon. The Pyrrha video didn't really go anywhere and I thought it was going to be brought up in Kuroyuri but nope. So I'm glad that you nipped it in the bud when it happened. Also I hope this means that you're rewriting how Silver Eyes work?
Blake fighting the Deathstalker is also something I love. Gives her something to do and shows how far she's come from Season 1, strength wise. I think Sun should have been there, so the fight can be a proxy for the Sea Dragon fight but I like it as it is. Also love her Menagerie Guard design, makes her look more Kunoichi than she's ever been.
i assumed it was Sun's prying nature coming into play.
I love the fact that the news is just the lyrics of a song.
Love your videos!
But I do have a small problem with the cafe scene between Sienna and Adam in episode six. I feel like it would be more fitting if she had called him in her "war room." Not where her throne is, but where she plans with the higher ups. There would be a map of Remnant so when discussing the situation in each major city/continent there would be more dynamic camera shots and make the scene visually engaging.
It would also hammer in the fact she's only giving him broad strokes on her plans, keeping some card close to her chest like him. The scene could begin with the higher up leaving after a detail planning of their next move, and he could snarl at the men as they leave before Sienna starts her lecture.
She could use the large map to interact with the setting and when Adam get pissed, slamming a fist on the table, her head piece represented in mistral could fall over (obvious foreshadow though).
If the bar was needed for being "faunas friendly" we could use the scene from the training room and have Ilia and Adam walking together into it, establishing that they had gotten pretty close after their initial meeting, enough to get a drink together. And there when Ilia says they have a few allies, she could look around the bar to meet eyes with Uma and a few others, which Adam also sees (kind of like in Vol. 6 and the spider gang).
I also like that Yang is taking therapy. Volume 5 really didn't help when they dropped her entire depression and failed to establish her getting used to her new arm. And seeing Tai and Yang talk in depth about her mommy issues also was fun to see.
neo roman backstory! we love to see it
Ahh I enjoyed that little scene between Jaune and Ruby😊. A idea and a thought did occur to me at the end of this video. 1. When Qrow does join up with team RNJR and eventually gets patched up maybe he takes on the mentor role showing that he was at one point a teacher, Jaune being the easiest example of what he can teach them (swordsmanship, maybe aura control) the others I don’t know I’ll leave that up to you. 2. Will you be addressing why Tyrian was interested in Jaune in the future or are you going to leave that alone.
#Lancaster #JauneTheHaremKing
I love that u out ff15 music in thia video. 15 was my first ff game and to here the soundtrack brings nostalgic memories
You don't disappoint, friend. Excellent work!
Tfw you're the one person who remembers Saber Rodentia by name
Half a week? So is it 3 days, 4 days, or the night of the third day?
Anyways love the rewrite especially the part with Tai and Yang. It would have been awesome to have Bernie and Barbara going at it with this scene.
I almost cry while imaginating this animated 2 times
I can’t wait 2 see how Ironwood (& Penny) reacts 2 Roman/Neo.
Should we be expecting a new part every week?
(Edit) thoughts on episode 5 - 9
Main focus on character development, a few characters getting a bit more development then others.
(To be expected)
A good amount of foreshadowing in the background along with world building. (Someone been watching one piece)
A really good small tease on the big bad well mainly focussing on slowly building up the lower ter villains.
(the best bit so far of this rewrite)
In context, maybe a little slow in places and a fast in others but looking over 1 - 4 it keeps a good pace going so far.
(so a good first half of a season with very little to complain with)
A really big up, hearing we are only starting to tease the big bad in this season, hopefully we dont see her at all in this season.
(I love I got that right from the first part)
Loving the rewrite so far keep up the great work you're doing.
To the frequency comment, I'm kinda aiming for one every two weeks, but I don't know how that may fluctuate.
@@CelticPhoenix well heres hoping 2020 will let that happen.
You and your One Piece.
17:17
I have a serious problem with this. It took all of team JNPR to finish off one Deathstalker, And I remember (sorry if I'm wrong) that you said that both teams were much more ragged after the fights with the giant Grimm. And now Blake, after only one year maybe one and a half years of Training can 1 V 1 the Deathstalker. That really doesn't sit well with me.
Even if it got shocked and caught off guard, I still think Blake can't do this alone. And it's an easy fix, just have Sun, or Ghira show up. If Blake lands that final hit and gets most (not all, but most) of the credit on the paper, Adam will still see it and that plot will still kick off.
It would just make more sense, and RWBY has enough power scaling issues in Cannon. Or you could say it's a young Deathstalker, showing that it's smaller an not as tough as the one that JNPR killed.
I get the arguement can be made that "I shows how much stronger she has become" but then we loop back to a problem you fixed at the beginning, that Grimm are a joke. A Deathstalker, one of the stronger types when full grown, being taken out mostly by one young adult.
Also, if we have Blake get if help, then Sun's little speach at the end of her volume 4 story would have a bit more weight if Sun/Ghira was temporarily knocked out, and Blake thinks it's serious.
I like the scene, don't get me wrong. But I think that small twick could make it so less people are going "That doesn't seem right" Like I was.
8:40
Ok learning about how white fang operates is great. But what happened to Adam's hair?
This was much, much, muuuch better than Part 1 in my opinion. I really loved pretty much everything done with Blake's stuff, Adam and Ilia were very well improved from the (I'll be honest) dogshit portrayal in Part 1 and I'm very happy that certain scenes, namely the Qrow and Raven talk, went basically untouched. That being said, I still have a couple of issues:
1. The first, and easily my biggest complaint so far: I sincerely hope your set-up for Brunswick Farm actually has relevance to this Volume. Because right now, it feels super unnecessary and build-up for a subplot that really should not be built up, involving fleshing out of characters who do not need fleshing out. And unless this has relevance to Volume 4 itself, these should honestly be cut completely, if I'm being blunt.
2. While I'm glad we're finally getting crumbs, the lack of Salem's presence in this Volume is really starting to disconcert me. It feels like you're stretching out the build-up to Salem in an attempt to "fix" something that honestly really didn't need fixing. Salem gets plenty of build-up in Volumes 1-3. I can tolerate it for at least a bit longer but how long do you intend to strech out Salem's proper introduction into the series?
3. While I like the concept of expanding the Jaune/Ruby scene from Volume 4, Chapter 2, it felt just a bit wordy for my liking. It felt like a conversation where a lot was being said but not a lot was being conveyed. It's still a good scene but I think the dialogue could've been trimmed to be more concise.
Overall, a very big improvement over Part 1. Hopefully, you can keep that up. I'm rooting for you and this rewrite.
I agree with the lack of presence. I am also concerned about whether or not the audience will link Cinder with Salem properly, especially given how people will probably be wondering what happened to Cinder after Vol 3.
It'd be funny if all of yangs angst attracted a few flying grimm to their house 😂
Your character designs are a lot LOOOOOOOT better than the ones in the show ATM
Premiere comment: nothing like waking up in time to watch a new video of fixing rwby
Great and enjoyable as always plus with the sketchy huntsmen on board now this is looking quite professional.
Not too much to say here, all of it good and fleshed out, I particularly like how you're doing justice to Sienna as the *smart* revolutionary. I suppose the one thing that I really liked was how Ruby's thought's partially triggered her silver eyes, nice into to how those actually work.
beautiful work
I gladly await the upload.
4:07 🤣🤣😂😂😂
Didn’t realize Celtic ships sun x kali.
Lmfao I can't believe I missed that oh my God Celtic why? xD
Man, you're really pushing this whole Brunswick farm thing. And we haven't even touched Oscar or Ozpin yet.
Just a wild & uneducated guess: It feels like Oscar is gonna replace with the boy from Brunswick & have him inherit Oz's soul.
If that isn't the case, then I don't really see any reason why Brunswick is getting any attention at all, especially this early.
All according to Keikaku...
@@CelticPhoenix ominous...
@@CelticPhoenix That sounds delicious...
I really love it thanks for the video mate
What a time to be alive
Awesome
11:41 i love her hair more longer
Jaune's new outfit keeps reminding me of Garroth from MCD........... i hate my mind.
I would love Jaune's outfit if it had more white and crocea mors turned into a gun.
It took me to episode 9 to realize Oscar has not been shown once.
Yo wtf
I just watched this for the first time and I forgot I had donated I had no idea I was in this video 😭😭
*sees notification*
Oh yeees, my life has meaning again.
15:04 Ahhhhhhhhhh! Why?
15:07 is that a leech faunus
Yes
SHIT IS GOING DOOOOWN
I have to say I'm not really liking how you're expanding on the Brunswick Farm incident from Vol 6 like this. Obviously we have 13 episodes to go, but given that those 2 episodes are probably the best segment in the entire show I don't feel like we really need expansion on the history of the farm beyond what we already got. If anything, the flaws in that segment are not following up on the stuff it brought up with more interesting potential long-term consequences (Yang's issues with Blake's "protect you" comment and the "Why are we doing this at all again" pondering about Ozpin). I'm not sure where you're going with this (My only guess is that its some kind of revised backstory for your Oscar replacement), but by this point we would be 9 episodes into the season and I don't think you've even established where that town is supposed to be in the world or the audience should care about it yet, and that makes it feel very out of place.
I'm also not a fan of how much screen time Adam is getting right now, but that I could see going to interesting places in the future so I'm not going to complain about it as much.
Outside of those issues though, this has been a fairly big improvement in the "Volume". The characterization is much better in a characterization-focused season, and I'm glad that you kept most of Weiss's good arc while rewriting most of Blake's terrible one. Eagerly awaiting the next pare of this series!
I disagree wholeheartedly, the Brunswick Farm episodes are probably the best in RWBY yet they could literary be placed anywhere with just some minor tweaks without affecting the plot.
@@kana22693 Thing is, I feel like the fact that we *know* why its relevant now colors our perspective of it differently than someone just watching this for the first time. Even just a throw-away line from someone about the farms being "a few week's travel from the city of Mistral" or something could give the audience an idea that whatever's going on at the farm is going to be relevant to RNJR later in the season.
16:24 I don't remember them at all in the show
I honestly don't see the point of hiding Salem so much. While sure it makes us as much in the dark as the characters but besides maybe a few changes Salem's perspective thing was a nice Dramatic Irony.
Death con Because ultimately Salem’s scenes with her council of evil weren’t really important. Keeping some secrets and building mystery around people like Tyrian and Hazel would’ve been more better as we have to keep a focus on the characters that are actually important and only bring the villains in when they actually become relevant. Watts didn’t do anything important until Volume 7, three years after his introduction, all those scenes he had could’ve easily been removed and nothing would change. That’s not good writing, we should only see the villains when it becomes narratively important, we shouldn’t know that Cinder and Tyrian are associates until that actually matters. And we should have the heroes be pushing the story forward, not the villains. The show itself has that huge problem where only the villains are really pushing the plot along while the heroes just react to things happening to them, that’s not an engaging story.
Hmmmm, I really hoping for the Brunswick farm plot line. Not because I like it but I hoping it has something to do with the plot for this volume. It just feels out of place to me.
Love everything else though. Just waiting on the full volume video.
Says sarcastically...[ad] dif you know mydocondria is the power house of the cell?.
I just realized no one ever puts focus on Ravens tribe as a good or neutral thing in canon or in fanon
Interesting
They are literally called 'Bandits'
Those typically don't have positive or neutral implications in most societies.
They aren't exactly Robin Hood and his merry men...
@@CelticPhoenix Tho true it isn't a gang of outlaws, if it was "Tribe" would be a rather strange way to refer to it. Idk seems like a big missed opportunity
Remus and Avey........hmmmmmmmmm🤔
Nice
All Star!
I feel super foolish about this but I can’t for the life of me remember what the cry was referring to at 23:55. I feel kinda dumb for asking but what way this in reference to?
Idk either. I even watched the rest of the series on a fast speed just to recap and I could find why. I may have missed it.
I'm replying just to see if anyone who knows says anything.
Brilliant newspaper. Riveting.
Question I ask, where are all the ravens?There's you don't talk up the ravens in the background
Of her mom wanting her to make sure she's safe.
Disturbing "frostbite" craze amongst youth
Why was All Star in the news paper?
What if jaunes sword shield was just a replica and the real one is hidden
Who’s the artist that drew Blake in the guards armor?
BlueButteryfly on Twitter. She's one half of our character redesign crew.
Celtic Phoenix Productions Thanks ^^ but could I have a link since searching them up isn’t working for some reason.
@@BunW.Bun21774
Sorry, got the tag wrong, here you go
twitter.com/MonarchBluelady
YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5> Beacon is halfway to being reclaimed… It’s only been five episodes and no reclamation efforts or fighting there for that matter have been shown. There was a brief period of action in the elevator but that was for a personal mission and it ended in failure. Idk just seems like a major milestone that’s being used instead as a throwaway line to signal time passing.
5> Two weeks to Higanbana, no mentioning as to whether this is factoring in having to carry the dying guy. Was Jaune planning on leaving him after patching him up?
6> I can understand Ghira and Kali having a warm welcome for Blake but having Ghira prop her up by saying that she got herself out so it’s all good feels off. Like you start off saying the conversation is awkward but then say they’re both very understanding despite not having seen each other in years. Maybe while Ghira is mad at Sun for going after his daughter who he loves to the point of supporting her despite her running away, Kali is mad at her for abandoning and robbing her of the experience of being a mother while loving Sun because she thinks he can give her the experience of being a grandmother. Maybe years ago they had to go through marriage counseling due to Blake running away (Kali wanting Ghira to go after her while he wants to let her find her own way) and that’s why she’s an only child in a world where having as many siblings as Jaune is reasonable. Idk I’m just rambling because I’m getting the “Blake is the most mature one of the girls” --M&K vibes due to everyone supporting her through all this. Hell even the ship Captain and Saber supported her without criticizing her.
6> Klein is cringe, the most interesting thing he ever did was when it was mentioned in passing that he was fired. Why even keep him in the rewrite?
6> “Sienna found someone in Atlas with political aspirations”. Aight before you introduce Robyn Hillary hear me out. You don’t need to add every character into the rewrite if you can give their purpose in the story to a pre-existing character that would benefit from gaining it. An example would be removing Gordon Goodbrother (government name Pietro Polendina) and instead making Penny’s creator and father figure Ironwood. Going back to Robyn, any sensible person hates her with an unsensible passion and knows her design is ugly, just give her role to Fiona. This is a visual medium, trim the fat by getting rid of the ugly characters of Atlas that aren’t worth the effort of redesigning: Vine, Elm, Robyn, Joan and May. That leaves you with Clover, Harriet and Marrow which can be expanded into a normal team of four if you make Fiona a previous member of the Ace Ops with Winter as her replacement.
7> Personally would’ve preferred if Ilia hadn’t mentioned her parents to Adam, it seems like unnecessary info at that point and could’ve been something she only confided in Blake. If you don’t like the “only my love knows this'' trope you could’ve also made it so Adam knew which would imply a past falling out between the two although it would still need work to not feel janky in this scene.
7> Was gonna say the conversation between Blake and Saber felt really inorganic but he’s speaking on behalf of Ghira so it makes sense.
7> Full tooth genuine smile is too much since this is her first time back in action, her superior got knocked out and it was later revealed that there were casualties.
8> Nice Raven actually wanting Yang twist, really great scene.
8> Really obvious suggestion but you can use Ruby playing video games less and less to show her growing maturity as she has less time to waste.
9> Just occurred to me that Brunswick stuff is happening two volumes ahead of schedule. Here’s hoping something becomes of it this season cause otherwise it’s just filling space in episodes in the wrong season. Oh God please tell me you’re keeping oscart out of the rewrite and not using the farm to introduce him, fucking hate him. Conspiracy theory time, feel free to ignore the rest of this comment. Ozpin wasn’t supposed to reincarnate into Jaune like many think but instead into Ren. They both have a green color scheme (the overlooked fifth color of the show), had similar personalities (“like minded soul” as v5 puts it), and an affinity for Aura (Aura World of Remnant implied Ozpin’s mastery of it made him “more than just a man”, aka the gods are bs and he was originally meant to be able to reincarnate on his own). This also explains why v4 gave Ren so much screen time that didn’t go anywhere and as a plus it would’ve given most pairs in RNJR an interesting dynamic. Logos aside here’s some pathos. Reimagine the funny scenes where Qrow decks oscart or where Jaune pins him against a wall but instead it’s Ren.
27:08 who created these designs?
Mupam0va
@@thealliedpowers thank you
What fixing rwby religion does Tyrian follow
Point if you say Yang yang Yang, the dad, you should be saying the word you, he won't
.She fought for you
This sounds weird.He don't use the word he keeps in the main character's name not you as a person
its different...not better, just different. ill leave it at that.
D Rom I don’t know about you but I would say that it’s better. RWBY has squandered a lot of it’s potential and has numerous story problems, at least in this rewrite things are far better connected and more focused.
Let's put it this way, why is Blake able to suddenly 1v1 a dathstalker wih little too no extra training when pirah the prodigy who fought a maiden couldn't? This could have been a chance to show Blake she can't do everything alone. Why is Adam having a beer wih his boss? Didn't we already get this same seen wih crow and raven? At least there it made sence a alcoholic brother with his sister. And why son? Just why, he is pointless, and you even keep the seen of him listening to private conversations in some one elses house? If he doesnt turn out. To be a spy for the whightfang then he is just an dirt bag. And ilias relationship with adam still makes no cense. When im jelouse of a girl i hate how they like not the one i like.
@@drom5970 I can see why Blake being able to 1v1 a deathstalker is annoying but compared vanilla RWBY who shot powerscaling while it was laying in the dirt after Volume 4 this isn't that bad especially with the why she beats it. Doesn't mean he shouldn't work on it.
Yeah, the lack of fights combined with multiple story lines all over Remnant makes it seem more like a soap opera akin to GoT than an action show. I'm not saying that it's not written competently though.
E