In my experience, I think the most important thing is: Trust your gut. When something feels off - it probably is When you feel hurt because of what your partner did - it means he/she hurt you and it's wrong if they don't accept it because "you're so sensitive", "I didn't mean to" No. Your gut always tells you if something is wrong and you can keep telling yourself it's not but that feeling won't go away. I'm just saying it because I used to ignore my gut and had to endure a lot of pain because of that - just watch out, be careful out there and never forget, your feelings matter!!
Hello. However, our "guts" work differently. They do so because we have different genetic predispositions, but also because we had different lives. our first relationships and experiences with people in the world, -and they differ from one individual to another-, determine somehow the way we behave in our current relationships. Our brains are like high computers, they gather information through every experience, and organize our behaviours according to them (we aren't aware of this organization). Our first relationships (especially with parents and primary caregivers) are so important because they kind of give our brains a first impression about how things work in the world. however, these experiences aren't representative to do so. They have a survival value, but it's too primitive and it can be tricky in our complex society. So here comes the problem: Some of us may -according to those experiences- take hardly some insignificant behaviours just because they're related to something bad that took place in the past, or because we've been getting a different pattern of caring behaviours when we were children that we see any different kind of attachment uncomfortable. This should teach us to be aware of our behavioural patterns, and try to control and fix what we find wrong among them, and build healthier ones. This isn't ought to be for the sake of the partner, as it is ought to be for our sakes. It makes our relationships easier, more successful, and healthier. To get an insight into the relationship between our behaviour in relationships and our past, i suggest reading the literatures about attachment styles theory. And you can see some videos about them in this channel first, and in "the school of life" channel, which is similar to this one, even though their topics aren't fully about psychology. Have a good life.
@@anis9503 that’s good how to described for relationships, if there’s something wrong that you didn’t realise or something you just have to force yourself for other reason instead just ordinary type.
8. When they talk about themselves a lot and don’t ask you questions about yourself P.S. I know people get nervous and ramble (this happens to me sometimes) but I’m speaking of those who are just too self-centered to notice who is sitting across from them
not in a relationship but my friend always talks abt herself. it's getting boring to talk to her nowadays. ik she's just tryna keep the convo going, but atleast let me talk abt my stuff too man
I honestly always end up falling asleep when listening to her soothing voice.. Its been a YEAR!! since i posted this comment just wanted to say thank you for the likes and for being a wonderful community❤️
After watching this I can recognize myself doing these things. That’s exactly why I told myself and people I talk to that I’m not ready for a relationship because I don’t want them to feel like that and get hurt. It’s important to recognize not only when someone is doing something to you but when you do something to someone. Honesty and communication is essential when dating.
Same...I am actually in a relationship and I often feel like crap because of some of these things. I've tried to leave a few times because I'm sure he'll be better off with someone better..
1. They always agree with you 0:55 2. They hide things from you 1:37 3. They don't prioritize you 2:06 4. They are dismissive of you 2:38 5. They easily get jealous 3:13 6. They make you second-guess their feelings 3:42 7. They talk badly about their exes 4:13 Thank you for reading!
He had #2, #3, and #6. Wasted 11 yrs. on him. #6 can be a sign of a serious personality issue and should be enough to end it right there. Wish I'd known that back then.
I sort of disagree with the the last point. Me and my boyfriend have spoken about all our exs to each other. I think it can help the other person understand why you are who you are in a relationship. Me personally I've been cheated on which makes me jealous and paranoid at times, he understands why I feel this way sometimes and reasures me rather than just calling me stupid like other past relationships have.
Yes but this is in a healthy Way !! And that's great !! But if someone start to compare their ex with their current partner or if they talk about them A LOT this is a red flag But nothing wrong with talking about ex's, but do not do.it too much ! ^^ Hope you found the one
Yeah, it's the same for me and my partner. We are comparing each other to our abusive exes and thus we can clearly see that our relationship is completely different and we are good to each other. It's sort of a compass that lets us know what we definitely don't want in our relationship. And I guess we are just healing together.
Do not engage too quickly is a sexual relationship. What works for some people won’t work for others. You must hold back the sexual attraction for sound reasons. Know a person’s health background. Ask questions sprinkled into ongoing conversations. A healthy sexual relationship is always good. “Take your lover to the doctor date” is a good way of knowing if he/she is really into you. “Anything worth having is worth waiting for.” “Slow and steady wins the race.” “Don’t put the cart before the horse.” “You build a house one brick at a time with a solid foundation.” “Be a good listener.” These old adages still prove to be accurate today.
It’s so much better to deal with the very temporary sadness behind letting toxic relationships go immediately rather than letting the heartbreak build! Great video.
Sidenote: Watch carefully if you're dating a person with ASD. Most of the mentioned behavior also applies to Aspies and they don't do it because they don't like you, but mostly because it kinda worked in the past for them or at least they felt like it. My example: 1. My partner hesitated at first to disagree, because he didn't know how I would react. Instead he went with an answer in his comfort zone. 2. Not really hiding, but just not telling, because it makes him feel vulnerable (telling his fam about me etc). 3. I'm am very important to him, but he needs his routines and time to be alone as well to charge his so called social battery. 4. My exemplary is just a human encyclopedia and doesn't compliment me too often. Took me quite some time. 5. Does not apply. 6. That's typical, because mostly it's because he just doesn't feel like I do. If I ask him if he misses me, he would answer: Well, I don't miss you, when we don't see each other. But I would miss you, if we would never see each other again. 7. Does not apply (at least in my case).
And, if you happen to have some of these characteristics yourself, you might believe they're healthy for other people - when they're actually red flags. It just happened to me. What I thought was my new love 'needing to be alone to recharge' was a combination of his apathy towards me, his selfishness and his incredible laziness...I realised in the end. It was an awful shock. I totally misjudged him and got very badly hurt.
On the other hand, opening up about past relationships is part of establishing a good relationship. My advice would be to look out for people who use very derogatory language and exhibit strong rage/hatred for an ex, when you haven't known each other for some time. I'd trust my gut on this one. Does the new partner seem to be obsessed or still hung up in the past? Or are they just expressing a healthy amount of hurt over things gone wrong (and hopefully getting right this time). One important thing I also look for is at least some praise for former partners. There must have been *something* at some point, and I think it's important we always remember that, take the positive with us.
completely agree! I honestly want to know about someone's past relationships. I find it interesting and if i want to be serious with someone, I truly wanna know whatever they wanna share. I just enjoy hearing people's life stories. The good and the bad. And along with that, we all have pasts, and if I feel comfortable enough to open up, that's my gut telling me they're a safe person to talk to.
@@taramazur8287 The kind of things a new partner will tell you about their past is also a great window into their personality. Also, be aware of what is left out. Obviously, that goes for myself as well. What do *I* tend to emphasize, leave out? I agree that it makes sense wanting to feel safe and comfortable with a partner. It's horrible when you can't talk about things that are important to you (even, yes, when they are mundane).
Agreed. I think this is especially important for people who have been through traumatic relationships in the past, as it can give you an idea of what kind of things scare them and what you can reasonably avoid doing to help them feel safe with you. People shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around their partners, but it's also important to display a healthy level of respect for things that your partner is particularly sensitive about.
@@midnachick97 I love your input. Walking on eggshells ... I've been there and it led to so many misunderstandings. To be very clear, that was my mistake. Great life lesson, though. Maybe this should be a subject in school "how to communicate openly, accept constructive criticism and establish healthy boundaries".
@@sarcasmismyfirstlanguage6611 learn to be ok with being more open about who you are and areas in life you struggle with. Learn to be ok with being little vunerable. Communication is key in a relationship. Cant run from conflicts but face them together. Support and encourage each other. Put the others needs above your own. Thats the best I can say.
0:38 1 - They always agree with you 1:35 2 - They hide things from you 2:05 3 - They don't prioritize you 2:37 4 - They are dismisive of you 3:14 5 - They easily get jealous 3:41 6 - They make you second guess your feelings 4:12 7 - They talk badly about their exes
@@oozy. ooo I do think 5 and 7 go hand in hand...... I do feel like I do 7 sometimes... but usually only do 7 when asked to explain, and the explanation was cheating + being dumped on my birthday + he stealthed (lied about using condom) . I guess I redeem myself by saying the ex I had after him was super nice but it didn't work out cuz of long distance. its a odd balance of what you can say -- but I felt like some things are important to talk about.
I'm currently dating someone and sometimes they are the sweetest most kindhearted person, but then they make me feel like I have done something wrong by ignoring me . They are most of the time with their best friend which I don't have a problem with since I'm friends with them too . The thing is I always feel left out, like they would talk and whenever I want to speak too she would interrupt me . The other day I just started a sentence and was exited to tell her Something, but then she turned around to talk to some random person .I really hate being jealous but I feel like she gives all her attention to everyone else other than me .I really don't know what I'm doing wrong . Edit(8.10.) so I talked to her and she apologized and said that she didn't even realized she sometimes ignored me . She also said that this won't repeat and that she really loves me 😍. So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who gave me tips and helped me 😘. Edit(8.6.21) i legit forgot i ever commented this, anyway she broke up with me in january without any apparent reason. But im way happier without her so i guess it was not that bad hahahaha
well the only way to find out is to have an open and honest conversation with them you may start by “hey I’ve noticed that you sometimes ignore me when i try to talk to you. It makes me feel...(whatever emotions you feel). Is there something i did wrong?”
i always use this method with my past lovers to see how they truly feel about me. first, make sure you ask them if it's okay to discuss about your guys' relationship and if they said yes, then tell her that you feel like your relationship with them is like starting to go downfall and you want to fix it. if you see positive change in them, that means they truly/might start to think your relationship is important and they don't want to ruin it. but if she says no to discussing about your guys' relationship, then try persuading her by saying it's important and if still declines then that means you are either unimportant to them or they're just really not ready. if you think the both of you are starting to drift away maybe it's time to make the right decision by officially breaking up. just a reminder that everybody is different and i hope you guys will stay with eachother. i know it's hard but you'll get out of this mess trust me :) i wish the best !!
I had a bf and that lasted for 5 days, he was often with my cousin sis but then whenever I called him he'd say you're my only one and all were saying he was cheating me, I believed it but it was ok till I get to talk to him and one day my mom found out so we had to break up lol, now I don't give a shit to any boys, once I wanted a boyfriend now i don't want any😂
Ok I'll admit with point number 3. I prioritized most things before the relationship. I was busy starting my PhD, about to leave a very stressful job as well as looking after my father who has cancer. We did make dates here and there, and tried to do more things. We finished it just after New Years day this year. It was a mutual break up and I even said how I recognised the issue due to me being busy and said we've still got some issues to iron out in our lives. She thanked me for seeing that and that it meant alot to her. I still want to be with her eventually, and just hope we can make it up. I did say before the break up that I am wiling to change this and make things up, but in the end it we just accepted that we're not ready just yet. I'm just hoping. I have now left my job and already well ahead in my progress with my PhD, so most of my focus now is back to myself at the moment and going to the gym to work on my fitness as well as studying. We're still messaging each other, even if its just little general things or even just funny memes which we like to do.
"And the fact that they're already struggling to juggle so many other priorities in their life... Is a clear sign: That they're - Not - ready for a serious relationship.." This. This so much. Don't be fooled by the excuses or as if they do prioritize you when in reality they can barely squeeze in a response... (Or they don't actually want to, yet claim to be into you etc...) It's a trap... Walk away, and if you can, leave a message (Unless your gut says to not contact them and block them.. Always listen to your instincts and intuition...) so they don't suddenly go looking for their 'whatever suits them when it's convenient for them'... Person. Don't be that Person.. You will definitely be used to say the least.. (Basically don't leave the door opened, nor open it for them. Stand your ground. Because they do not actually 'care') Learn your worth, standards, compatabilities vs incompatibilities.. And boundaries. Because changing these principles is like changing the foundation of who you are...To suit what someone wants. Source: Experience... Long time ago though.
So true, and it's valid not only for romantic relationships but friendships also. I knew this person and we got along well, but very soon he started answering after 3,4,5 even six days and I knew he read the message but just replied so late on purpose. Once I asked him why he's doing that and he said he's always so busy. But then I found out later directly from him that he wasn't working for almost a year, which is the time we've known each other and as I asked him what he was doing, he said he was sleeping late, drinking coffee, enjoying life... Interesting, I thought, where at first he claimed he was so busy, but then he was just being lazy and had more than enough time to answer me, but he was actually disrespecting me. Imagine that someone for months always replies to you several days later, but always, each time, and actually every time he started the communication, he would ask me a question, I would answer in a reasonable time and he would always answer several days later. I realized I don't want that person in my life anymore. As once we were on a concert together, he held his phone in his hand all the time, looking at his messages and writing too, so he was writing to other people even when he was with me, he couldn't be still for 40 minutes. It was disrespectful of him, because that was a special concert in a glorious place, only for special guests, not everyone could come there, I had an invitation and had the right to bring 1 person with me, I took him and he was just a disappointment. He didn't even appreciate being there and let me tell you, he couldn't ever get there on his own, it was only for a small circle of people. It's obvious he was just playing with me. He was often putting me down and making mean jokes on my expense. When I would be hurt, because it was insulting, he would say:"I was just joking". What a fool he is now, because I blocked him forever. I guess the joke is now on him.
Entitlement for love/relationships is the biggest red flag I'd say. Love/Relationships are something that takes time to brew up. Yet, there are desperate people that think a single night of "flirting" = a relationship.
@@userzquid nobody is perfect, your right. Part of what makes me toxic is having unrealistic expectations both for myself and others. I am working on this. But it's so hard.
One thing to keep in mind particularly about #1 & #2 - these are common behaviors of victims in abusive relationships. As always, context is important. If one person in the relationship often does 1 & 2, and the other person often does 3-7, begin looking at your relationship and your own well-being.
The first one was what was wrong with one with my exes. It felt like he wasn’t really being himself most of the relationship, he was being what he thought I wanted him to be. Plus he said he loved me in the first two weeks we started dating. Long story short, it didn’t last long...
I'm guilty of doing some of #1 and #2; I'm working on learning to open up and speak my mind. For so long I've been afraid to be rejected or cast aside for expressing my thoughts and feelings, whether it be friends or romantic partners, but I want this relationship to last so I'm working on myself >:'3
Though I really think you should be aware of certain signals and that you should look out for yourself stepping into new relationships, I find it hard to see that we are collectively learning to push people away when we’re noticing red flags. Of course, some people take advantage of others or emotionally abuse their partners. That’s not okay. But we’re all human and I think the most beautiful thing about relationships is that you learn to deal with each other’s past, emotions, built up patterns and behavior. I’m not saying you should always tolerate someone’s actions no matter what, but I think sometimes we tend to cancel people out of our lives as soon as we notice strange behavior. Just a little rant, love the videos by the way xx
I have to disagree with the second one.. some ppl just dont feel emotions like "normal" ppl, to put it simply, and have a difficult time explaining when they do feel something.. but other than that it's a great vid!!
Communication is the bridge to understanding. "Hey, I have all these feelings but it's hard to explain, do you have time to listen?" I understand it's hard sometimes (or most times) to get it out, and I'm too neurotypical to fully know how truly hard it is for some. But if the other is willing to take their time to listen while you try to put your feelings into words, and clear up misunderstandings before they turn to hostility, that's half the path to a healthy relationship. If they're not willing to listen, and you already tried time and time again, pack up and look to greener pastures, they're not worth your time.
Yes! I rejected him many times, despite my strong feelings for him, and he took the rejections hard. He ran off to date other girls and tried to show them off to me. "Look how happy I am!" I told him, "you need to heal!" and "I don't want to be a rebound!" along with, "I deserve someone who loves me." He couldn't listen to me, and he just left me on read. I know I did the right thing, but it still hurts. I still wish him well and care about him. But, I know I can find others who will treat me better.
Yea you really did the right thing .. Very childish of him ... And you did Dodge a bullet, if you would have dated him ..I think it would be a very toxic relationship Let's hope he gets more mature
In 3:50 ”you always wanna leave them wanting more” it sounds manipulative in my mind. If your ”too needy” or something, maybe both are and its cool when there is no anything we are not telling right in beginning... Love your videos 💜
Wow! With the exception of #7 (maybe), all of this stuff even applies to regular relationships like best friends. I came to the realization that I need new friends recently when my current best bud swears he's interested in a project we've been working on as a hobby and (when I ask him) even schedules days for us to work on it now that we have money. But he never shows up (despite him deciding the day we do it), puts any effort into making sure it happens, or brings it up on his own in conversation. The icing on the cake is that on Discord I can literally see him playing the same game every day for hours (3-12)with his other homies so it's not like he DOESN'T have the free time. But he refuses to admit he'd rather be doing those things and keeps setting up project days he "didn't remember" to show up to. 🤔 ...we've been playing this dumb cat and mouse game for 7 months bro lol (I need new friends... He has some after all) So yeah, this can apply in many kinds of relationships 😅
Jealousy does not make a hard equation to insecurity. If you're flirting with someone else or sit in someone else's lap, your partner has every right to be jealous. Jealousy is not the problem. Not knowing the difference between proper and improper jealousy is the real issue.
I'm currently dating and hitting most of these red flags but it's to be expected since we decide that one of us was not ready so we decided to deal with the problems b4 we start a relationship. 8 months later things are getting significantly better as we know each other more now. She is the best. We're planning for next year trips and talking about getting a relationship. Trust me it been hard AF but it definitely starting to paid off.
8 dating red flags you need to look out for They don't want to label the relationship after a few months of dating. You don't feature on their social media accounts after a few months. They never initiate dates. There's a power imbalance. You express your feelings to one another differently. One of you is keeping secrets. They won't compromise
About the social media thing, some people are private and don’t want to be on any social media platforms, and that’s okay 🤷♀️ Not everything has to be on social media. That includes significant others if they are not comfortable with it.
I wish I watched this sooner. My ex always talks badly about his past relationship and I was so blinded to think and to see it as a way of him assuring me that I was different but then ending the same way. I'm afraid of the fact that he's talking badly about me with his new gf.
Never ignore the red flags. They're shown to you for a reason. No matter how much you like/love them, or how many months/years you've spent with them, let them go. They'll never change.
And a super important footnote: these red flags can show up right away or months later (perhaps, say, after some Love Bombing)… either way, they’re so important. Thank you!!
It's important to note too that some people take time to open up, you don't have to tell them EVERYTHING on the first date, week or month. Go at your own pace and if they don't like it, its their loss...but don't be too mysterious either, try your best at talking about yourself even if it's difficult for you.
Another one to look out for from my last relationship, is they they don't let you make decisions or don't ask you what you're comfortable with. Make sure to always ask your partner what is and isn't ok in a relationship. This can relate to PDA or actions in private that you're not comfortable with yet too. Stand your ground on those boundaries too.
I just found this video. Thank you all for giving me this new insight on relation. The Last man I was dating had 5 of the 7 red flags you discussed here. May add one more to this - 8,) if you & your partner has a fight & he/she knows they will lose, they will block you on all social media, phone & email.
7 red flags in dating you should watch out for: 1. They always agree with you 2. They hide things from you 3. They don’t prioritize you 4. They are dismissive of you 5. They easily get jealous 6. They make you second-guess their feelings 7. They talk badly about their exes I think I have seen all in the person :/
I don’t feel worthy of a relationship. I’m my worst critic and my expectations are too high. The INFP part of me daydreams of when I’ll meet him but I haven’t yet. Self love is key.
If you realise you're the red flag, then it's time to change :) And the fact that you recognise yourself is the first step to build a healthier relationship ! I too recognise myself in one of my past relationship.and I dont want to make the same mistakes ever again
After I broke up with my ex I came to this video and realized that he has done all those things. I’m glad I ended it so soon. I talked to him about the wrongs in the relationship and we both agreed to stay friends
About the ex thing. From a personal perspective - I still mention my ex sometimes (mostly when I need to vent to my friends, so I guess it doesn't really count ^^"), 'cause he blamed me for ruining his life and several of his suicide attempts YEARS after the breakup. He texted me so many times and almost every one of them would end in me having a panic attack. We've known each other for a bit over three months, dated for even less than that. All because he couldn't take no for an answer when I was honest to god busy with work and he wanted to talk/meet. It got so bad (a month in!) that somedays I had to turn off my phone despite having been honest and telling him upfront that I wouldn't be able to talk to him much. Plus he was really pushy about the bedroom stuff. And on top of all of that, he said 'I love you' about four to five weeks in. After breaking up I was so scared... He had/still has a collection of knives, was diagnosed with sociopathy, and knows where I live.
Wow..... No YOU arent the red flag ... I hope he never forced you for the bedroom stuff .. Damn ..People like that does exist.. Hope you're well and better
@@bamaboo8398 He tried to, but I stood my ground. After I told him no, he threw a temper tantrum and refused to lay on the bed with me. He decided to go lay on the floor instead (as a form of protest, I guess?). Safe to say I broke it off REAL fast after that
1. They always agree with you 2. They hide things from you 3. They don't prioritize you 4.They are dismisive of you 5. They easily get jealous 6 . They make you second guess your feelings 7. They talk badly about their exes Thanks for the knowledge
The amount of girls that are talking bad about their exes are litterary everywhere. Like I swear I heard the same story for 7-8 diffreant girls about how their boyfriend were just too little caring for them or always seems to be in a bad mood. Most often when girls are being treated this way when they ain’t looking at the whole picture. They only see the small amount downsides there were about their previous one over how great he was. My of those boyfriends were gamers, and the girls want 100% attention, 90% ain’t cutting it. There were also that one time when a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend cause he didn’t lend her more than half of his incomes to spend on ingame content. What a way to break up.
First. They always agree with you. They are right. It's ok to be different. What they didn't mention is there is a reason of why they are interested in you. It's ok to have something in common with someone. As long as you know you know yourself, that's ok. Maybe that person just wants a friend and doesn't know what love is. Someone should know if someone is trying to control someone, right? If not, then you are not that smart. That's ok. All you got to do is to do some research, then you know how to avoid such situations. No worries. Second. Hiding things from you. Hiding what, who they are? Seriously? There can be something that made them be that way. That's why you talk to them about their struggles, not their flaws, because everyone has done something in their life to be that way, you know? Try leading them out of the dark instead of pointing fingers. That simple. If you point a finger, three is pointing back at you. That, or they feel like they can't express themselves. That's why you ask. If they don't answer, don't pressure them. Simple as that. Third. They don't prioritize you. Seriously? And you are supposed to be dating. They are not your mom/dad. If they do anyways, let them know you appreciate them and you can fend for yourself, then share that love back. It's a partnership, not a daycare. If one cares as much for the other, they would be caring for each other, not it being one sided, you know? Fourth. They are dismissive of you. I'm glad they mentioned in the beginning of the message to "look out for how the other person you are dating talks to you" and in the end "you should give your say in the relationship." They are right about these two phrases. Only these two phrases. They didn't cover the fact someone can care about you and worry about you. Giving your say in the relationship means to communicate with the other. Like I said, a partnership, not a daycare. The ones who should be encouraging and supportive are your friends. Your lover knows you are a great person, that is why they are with you, silly. Don't take advantage of that, or karma will bite you in the rear-end. Fifth. They easily get jealous. Just explain is all. They are not a monster. They just don't know. Let them know, you know? They simply don't know what is going on. Doesn't make them a monster for someone being loyal. It's dating. Sixth: They can make you second guess your feelings. The phrase "you don't want to come in too strong or too needy because they want to come back for more" doesn't make any sense. Sounds like modesty if you ask me. That is what pushes people forward. That boost that you get that makes you feel happy and they are not selfish. Simple as that. Like I said, they are not your mom/dad. It's a partnership. If they are happy, let them be happy. If you can't be happy, talk to them. They won't bite. Seventh: They talk badly about their exes. Why? That's why you should find out. Ask questions. Support them instead and let them know you are not going to be that way. That's it. Show them some love and support and let them know you won't do that to them. Simple as that. Why is this frowned upon? Scared to "pitch in?"
@@begonefosh Aww! That's great! I love psyche to go. I posted this because I look up to them. It may sound harsh, but it was just honesty, because I looked up to them. It's nothing bad towards anyone.
Well, this video just made me look at my own behaviors. If you identify and resonate with being the person who’s exhibiting these behaviors and in all this time it hasn’t been intentional that you’re exhibiting these behaviors.. how do you work on them? Especially when you want to move forward and be with that person?Is a simple apology and acknowledgment of these behaviors to your partner enough? It broke my heart a little watching this because immediately i felt guilty bc I could pin point events to each of these in regards to when I have exhibiting these behaviors towards my person.. but it wasn’t intentional.. I can identify that my responses come from a place of fear that they don’t actually love me, of needing to assert myself and trying to prove that I am worthy and valuable towards a relationship.
When your boyfriend hasn't spoken to you in 3 days but will gladly have a conversation with your best friend and his brother on a chat your on. But doesn't have time for you. 😑🤔🙄
It feels much more better when I know what is good and what isn't. My partner is a bit too jealous sometimes but he told me why and we had deep conversation about it. I'm so happy that I found this yt channel
My boyfriend had problems with the fourth point. Nearly everything I did and was proud of or happy about - he always told me it´s no big deal, I had to chill or didn´t even gave a comment to it sometimes. It hurt very bad. So I talked to him after these situations and eventually it got better. Now, we hype each other up and for both of us, it´s the healthiest relationship we ever had with another person. I love him so much and I´m glad that none of these points fit anymore.
wait, i talk with her about my 'exes' (actually almost just past crushes) because she finds it interesting and knows it's just a part of my past besides one of my past crushes is the reason why i talk with my her nowadays so i guess she couldn't really be jealous about it anytime but yeah, i'm often nostalgic but not to a point i'm "stucked on the past" or anything, mostly just telling stories i had with other girls because the new one often finds it cute for some reason
I used to try to get my boyfriend to talk about his exes. I wanted to know where they had fucked up and how I could do better than them. By doing so, I was competing with them on a subconscious level. Being the anxious attachment style I was, I smothered him with love and affection, and he got scared away Long story short, he broke up with me.
I'm here just to point out how valuable it is they write down academic references on the video's description. This is not only entertaining but educative in an academic way. Marvelous job!
oh... apparently im the last one ("o_o), but i dont talk bad about them on purpose, my exes are just huge assholes ("*-*). So if someone ask me about my exes, well yeah i talk bad about them because they all did something bad to me (1 more than the other). But still, luckily, there were also some fun moments, unfortantly not that many. Stupid thing is that the first and last ex mentally broke me (both on a different area) so thats just hard to let someone understand you (l_l)
*too sad course I just broke up with my 3 years of Dating boyfriend coz I just realized am a very jealous person and I really like controlling him and the worst thing he just agrees with everything I do or say* *He never spent time with me and always ignoring my messages* but I still love him so I don't really know what to do?!
oh god... I think you should just learn from your mistakes and look forward to other people... I know it's hard stopping loving someone, but at least try it out - I believe in you! :)
If you are aware that you were controlling in your last relationship, than you should work on that before starting a relationship. Changing it will take time, but you can change. He may not still want to be involved with you romantically, and you can't change that I'm afraid. But acknowledging that you were controlling is a great start to changing it.
The only thing relatable is keeping some things hidden. It's not that I do it on purpose, it's just my priorities don't include myself when others are involved. Making them feel happy makes me happy.
I find me and her both have red flags. I mean we are at the beginning. But I feel like I have never opened up to her and always agreed with her up until now. Probably in fear of rejection, but now I have decided to show her how I actually feel about most things. Thanks for the video! We are kinda going through a rough time though ; -; hope everything will go well. I do really like her
"the heart gets confused when it's constantly told 'i love you' by the same person who destroys it.."
-r.h sin
Ikr
Thank you for this quote
Literally just finally broke out of that confusion yesterday.
Wow. this hits me the most. 😫
Know your worth and have boundaries, everything else is insanity
In my experience, I think the most important thing is: Trust your gut.
When something feels off - it probably is
When you feel hurt because of what your partner did - it means he/she hurt you and it's wrong if they don't accept it because "you're so sensitive", "I didn't mean to"
No. Your gut always tells you if something is wrong and you can keep telling yourself it's not but that feeling won't go away.
I'm just saying it because I used to ignore my gut and had to endure a lot of pain because of that - just watch out, be careful out there and never forget, your feelings matter!!
dang.. did you broke up?
Hello.
However, our "guts" work differently. They do so because we have different genetic predispositions, but also because we had different lives. our first relationships and experiences with people in the world, -and they differ from one individual to another-, determine somehow the way we behave in our current relationships. Our brains are like high computers, they gather information through every experience, and organize our behaviours according to them (we aren't aware of this organization). Our first relationships (especially with parents and primary caregivers) are so important because they kind of give our brains a first impression about how things work in the world. however, these experiences aren't representative to do so. They have a survival value, but it's too primitive and it can be tricky in our complex society. So here comes the problem: Some of us may -according to those experiences- take hardly some insignificant behaviours just because they're related to something bad that took place in the past, or because we've been getting a different pattern of caring behaviours when we were children that we see any different kind of attachment uncomfortable. This should teach us to be aware of our behavioural patterns, and try to control and fix what we find wrong among them, and build healthier ones. This isn't ought to be for the sake of the partner, as it is ought to be for our sakes. It makes our relationships easier, more successful, and healthier.
To get an insight into the relationship between our behaviour in relationships and our past, i suggest reading the literatures about attachment styles theory. And you can see some videos about them in this channel first, and in "the school of life" channel, which is similar to this one, even though their topics aren't fully about psychology.
Have a good life.
@@anis9503 that’s good how to described for relationships, if there’s something wrong that you didn’t realise or something you just have to force yourself for other reason instead just ordinary type.
He always tells me that I'm taking it too seriously, it hurts ahah
Thank you, I can relate to that honestly, I kept my feelings inside of me for so long that I snapped.
I swear this is the best community in all RUclips. Everyone here is supportive and care to help
Hey no swearing here
No swears!
somebody finna ruin it, just wait
@@TRAYVONN_ They already did, the first couple replies
I agree
8. When they talk about themselves a lot and don’t ask you questions about yourself
P.S. I know people get nervous and ramble (this happens to me sometimes) but I’m speaking of those who are just too self-centered to notice who is sitting across from them
Yas!
YES!
I'm scared I do this with my friends sometimes. I try really hard not to though and I'm aware of it
@@RowanArk yeah me too, I don't know if I am paranoid or if I really just talk too much about myself
not in a relationship but my friend always talks abt herself. it's getting boring to talk to her nowadays. ik she's just tryna keep the convo going, but atleast let me talk abt my stuff too man
I honestly always end up falling asleep when listening to her soothing voice..
Its been a YEAR!! since i posted this comment just wanted to say thank you for the likes and for being a wonderful community❤️
Thats what i was thinking man
@kristy's laziness I don't know
omg. L, you married Light?!
L your real name is Lawlite
Agreed.
After watching this I can recognize myself doing these things. That’s exactly why I told myself and people I talk to that I’m not ready for a relationship because I don’t want them to feel like that and get hurt. It’s important to recognize not only when someone is doing something to you but when you do something to someone. Honesty and communication is essential when dating.
Same...I am actually in a relationship and I often feel like crap because of some of these things. I've tried to leave a few times because I'm sure he'll be better off with someone better..
1. They always agree with you 0:55
2. They hide things from you 1:37
3. They don't prioritize you 2:06
4. They are dismissive of you 2:38
5. They easily get jealous 3:13
6. They make you second-guess their feelings 3:42
7. They talk badly about their exes 4:13
Thank you for reading!
Probably a mini movie marathon
((Reported the “love bot”...nvmd (but I did)
Probably nothing. Lol
He had #2, #3, and #6. Wasted 11 yrs. on him. #6 can be a sign of a serious personality issue and should be enough to end it right there. Wish I'd known that back then.
Ghost hunting? XD Ah why not? I myself will be likely working on music.
I sort of disagree with the the last point. Me and my boyfriend have spoken about all our exs to each other. I think it can help the other person understand why you are who you are in a relationship. Me personally I've been cheated on which makes me jealous and paranoid at times, he understands why I feel this way sometimes and reasures me rather than just calling me stupid like other past relationships have.
Yes but this is in a healthy Way !! And that's great !!
But if someone start to compare their ex with their current partner or if they talk about them A LOT this is a red flag
But nothing wrong with talking about ex's, but do not do.it too much ! ^^
Hope you found the one
He sounds like a great partner
Yeah, it's the same for me and my partner. We are comparing each other to our abusive exes and thus we can clearly see that our relationship is completely different and we are good to each other. It's sort of a compass that lets us know what we definitely don't want in our relationship. And I guess we are just healing together.
Video: *_exists_*
Singles: *So you've summoned us?*
🤣😳😬 too relatable
XD
Some Yello me Dude *Has Come*
Lol so relatable
Yep
Do not engage too quickly is a sexual relationship. What works for some people won’t work for others. You must hold back the sexual attraction for sound reasons.
Know a person’s health background. Ask questions sprinkled into ongoing conversations. A healthy sexual relationship is always good. “Take your lover to the doctor date” is a good way of knowing if he/she is really into you.
“Anything worth having is worth waiting for.” “Slow and steady wins the race.” “Don’t put the cart before the horse.” “You build a house one brick at a time with a solid foundation.” “Be a good listener.” These old adages still prove to be accurate today.
I would like to add: Talk about sex, what you like and dislike, before having it. It really helps to avoid the frustration and disappointment.
It’s so much better to deal with the very temporary sadness behind letting toxic relationships go immediately rather than letting the heartbreak build! Great video.
@kristy's laziness thanks for fighting lol
Learned this the hard way
Kabir Batra But you learned, which is the great thing 😊 glad you’re out of that situation now.
Thank you! We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?
@kristy's laziness 🔼🔤🔄⏪🔠
Sidenote: Watch carefully if you're dating a person with ASD.
Most of the mentioned behavior also applies to Aspies and they don't do it because they don't like you, but mostly because it kinda worked in the past for them or at least they felt like it.
My example:
1. My partner hesitated at first to disagree, because he didn't know how I would react. Instead he went with an answer in his comfort zone.
2. Not really hiding, but just not telling, because it makes him feel vulnerable (telling his fam about me etc).
3. I'm am very important to him, but he needs his routines and time to be alone as well to charge his so called social battery.
4. My exemplary is just a human encyclopedia and doesn't compliment me too often. Took me quite some time.
5. Does not apply.
6. That's typical, because mostly it's because he just doesn't feel like I do. If I ask him if he misses me, he would answer: Well, I don't miss you, when we don't see each other. But I would miss you, if we would never see each other again.
7. Does not apply (at least in my case).
Thank you. I am autistic and I was worrying I was bad at relationships. My partner is too, so, it does get very difficult at times with emotions.
Yo, hope you and your partner are doing well now!
You've got to be careful with that though too. My abusive ex-husband had Asperger's and it caused me to overlook many red flags.
And, if you happen to have some of these characteristics yourself, you might believe they're healthy for other people - when they're actually red flags. It just happened to me. What I thought was my new love 'needing to be alone to recharge' was a combination of his apathy towards me, his selfishness and his incredible laziness...I realised in the end. It was an awful shock. I totally misjudged him and got very badly hurt.
omg the nails in the thumbnail are EVERYTHING
Not me going back to the thumbnail💀💀
Yassss I like the sharp long nails just amazing!
LMAOO
Ye
Did you like it? :)
On the other hand, opening up about past relationships is part of establishing a good relationship.
My advice would be to look out for people who use very derogatory language and exhibit strong rage/hatred for an ex, when you haven't known each other for some time.
I'd trust my gut on this one. Does the new partner seem to be obsessed or still hung up in the past? Or are they just expressing a healthy amount of hurt over things gone wrong (and hopefully getting right this time).
One important thing I also look for is at least some praise for former partners. There must have been *something* at some point, and I think it's important we always remember that, take the positive with us.
completely agree! I honestly want to know about someone's past relationships. I find it interesting and if i want to be serious with someone, I truly wanna know whatever they wanna share. I just enjoy hearing people's life stories. The good and the bad. And along with that, we all have pasts, and if I feel comfortable enough to open up, that's my gut telling me they're a safe person to talk to.
@@taramazur8287 The kind of things a new partner will tell you about their past is also a great window into their personality.
Also, be aware of what is left out.
Obviously, that goes for myself as well. What do *I* tend to emphasize, leave out?
I agree that it makes sense wanting to feel safe and comfortable with a partner.
It's horrible when you can't talk about things that are important to you (even, yes, when they are mundane).
Everyone talks about my partner's ex, so it doesn't really count. The reason is that she went batshit and threatened to shoot up the school.
Agreed. I think this is especially important for people who have been through traumatic relationships in the past, as it can give you an idea of what kind of things scare them and what you can reasonably avoid doing to help them feel safe with you. People shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around their partners, but it's also important to display a healthy level of respect for things that your partner is particularly sensitive about.
@@midnachick97 I love your input.
Walking on eggshells ... I've been there and it led to so many misunderstandings.
To be very clear, that was my mistake. Great life lesson, though.
Maybe this should be a subject in school "how to communicate openly, accept constructive criticism and establish healthy boundaries".
Don't date an emotionally unavailable person! Waste of time! Run for the hills!!
Unless both are emotionally unavailable lol
We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?
What if i’m the emotionally unavailable one?
@@sarcasmismyfirstlanguage6611 learn to be ok with being more open about who you are and areas in life you struggle with. Learn to be ok with being little vunerable. Communication is key in a relationship. Cant run from conflicts but face them together. Support and encourage each other. Put the others needs above your own. Thats the best I can say.
I feel lesbian vibes here..
I almost always agree with my gf but I don't do it to make her love me more, we just genuinely think the same way
0:38 1 - They always agree with you
1:35 2 - They hide things from you
2:05 3 - They don't prioritize you
2:37 4 - They are dismisive of you
3:14 5 - They easily get jealous
3:41 6 - They make you second guess your feelings
4:12 7 - They talk badly about their exes
I’m dealing with a 2 3 and 6
@@allahuakbar6994 same
@@allahuakbar6994 I'm dealing with 5 and 7
@@oozy. ooo I do think 5 and 7 go hand in hand...... I do feel like I do 7 sometimes... but usually only do 7 when asked to explain, and the explanation was cheating + being dumped on my birthday + he stealthed (lied about using condom) . I guess I redeem myself by saying the ex I had after him was super nice but it didn't work out cuz of long distance. its a odd balance of what you can say -- but I felt like some things are important to talk about.
Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.
One fine day you're old enough to understand - heart never rule anything. They simply pump blood.
I'm currently dating someone and sometimes they are the sweetest most kindhearted person, but then they make me feel like I have done something wrong by ignoring me . They are most of the time with their best friend which I don't have a problem with since I'm friends with them too . The thing is I always feel left out, like they would talk and whenever I want to speak too she would interrupt me . The other day I just started a sentence and was exited to tell her Something, but then she turned around to talk to some random person .I really hate being jealous but I feel like she gives all her attention to everyone else other than me .I really don't know what I'm doing wrong .
Edit(8.10.) so I talked to her and she apologized and said that she didn't even realized she sometimes ignored me . She also said that this won't repeat and that she really loves me 😍.
So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who gave me tips and helped me 😘.
Edit(8.6.21) i legit forgot i ever commented this, anyway she broke up with me in january without any apparent reason. But im way happier without her so i guess it was not that bad hahahaha
well the only way to find out is to have an open and honest conversation with them
you may start by “hey I’ve noticed that you sometimes ignore me when i try to talk to you. It makes me feel...(whatever emotions you feel). Is there something i did wrong?”
i always use this method with my past lovers to see how they truly feel about me. first, make sure you ask them if it's okay to discuss about your guys' relationship and if they said yes, then tell her that you feel like your relationship with them is like starting to go downfall and you want to fix it. if you see positive change in them, that means they truly/might start to think your relationship is important and they don't want to ruin it. but if she says no to discussing about your guys' relationship, then try persuading her by saying it's important and if still declines then that means you are either unimportant to them or they're just really not ready. if you think the both of you are starting to drift away maybe it's time to make the right decision by officially breaking up. just a reminder that everybody is different and i hope you guys will stay with eachother. i know it's hard but you'll get out of this mess trust me :) i wish the best !!
I had a bf and that lasted for 5 days, he was often with my cousin sis but then whenever I called him he'd say you're my only one and all were saying he was cheating me, I believed it but it was ok till I get to talk to him and one day my mom found out so we had to break up lol, now I don't give a shit to any boys, once I wanted a boyfriend now i don't want any😂
thank y'all so much 💖
@@adrianoopi I'm gonna try this thank you so much
This is a positive sign.
You are amazing. You are whole. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve the love you've always dreamed of. 💗Dr. Liz
Everything about this channel gives me serotonin
Lemøndrøp Parade its extra nice when you’re snuggling a red panda plush or something
@The_Spooky_Bunny awww
The_Spooky_Bunny that’s so cute ㅠㅠ
We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?
Ok I'll admit with point number 3. I prioritized most things before the relationship. I was busy starting my PhD, about to leave a very stressful job as well as looking after my father who has cancer. We did make dates here and there, and tried to do more things.
We finished it just after New Years day this year. It was a mutual break up and I even said how I recognised the issue due to me being busy and said we've still got some issues to iron out in our lives. She thanked me for seeing that and that it meant alot to her.
I still want to be with her eventually, and just hope we can make it up. I did say before the break up that I am wiling to change this and make things up, but in the end it we just accepted that we're not ready just yet. I'm just hoping.
I have now left my job and already well ahead in my progress with my PhD, so most of my focus now is back to myself at the moment and going to the gym to work on my fitness as well as studying.
We're still messaging each other, even if its just little general things or even just funny memes which we like to do.
Did you two end up trying again?
Have things changed for the better?
"And the fact that they're already struggling to juggle so many other priorities in their life...
Is a clear sign: That they're - Not - ready for a serious relationship.."
This. This so much. Don't be fooled by the excuses or as if they do prioritize you when in reality they can barely squeeze in a response... (Or they don't actually want to, yet claim to be into you etc...)
It's a trap...
Walk away, and if you can, leave a message (Unless your gut says to not contact them and block them.. Always listen to your instincts and intuition...) so they don't suddenly go looking for their 'whatever suits them when it's convenient for them'... Person. Don't be that Person.. You will definitely be used to say the least..
(Basically don't leave the door opened, nor open it for them. Stand your ground. Because they do not actually 'care')
Learn your worth, standards, compatabilities vs incompatibilities.. And boundaries. Because changing these principles is like changing the foundation of who you are...To suit what someone wants.
Source: Experience...
Long time ago though.
So true, and it's valid not only for romantic relationships but friendships also. I knew this person and we got along well, but very soon he started answering after 3,4,5 even six days and I knew he read the message but just replied so late on purpose. Once I asked him why he's doing that and he said he's always so busy. But then I found out later directly from him that he wasn't working for almost a year, which is the time we've known each other and as I asked him what he was doing, he said he was sleeping late, drinking coffee, enjoying life... Interesting, I thought, where at first he claimed he was so busy, but then he was just being lazy and had more than enough time to answer me, but he was actually disrespecting me. Imagine that someone for months always replies to you several days later, but always, each time, and actually every time he started the communication, he would ask me a question, I would answer in a reasonable time and he would always answer several days later. I realized I don't want that person in my life anymore. As once we were on a concert together, he held his phone in his hand all the time, looking at his messages and writing too, so he was writing to other people even when he was with me, he couldn't be still for 40 minutes. It was disrespectful of him, because that was a special concert in a glorious place, only for special guests, not everyone could come there, I had an invitation and had the right to bring 1 person with me, I took him and he was just a disappointment. He didn't even appreciate being there and let me tell you, he couldn't ever get there on his own, it was only for a small circle of people. It's obvious he was just playing with me. He was often putting me down and making mean jokes on my expense. When I would be hurt, because it was insulting, he would say:"I was just joking". What a fool he is now, because I blocked him forever. I guess the joke is now on him.
I needed that 💯🙏🏾❤️thank you so much
I stg 💯‼️🎯 experience is one hella of a teacher
great wise words
I’m currently in this situation idk what to do tho
Entitlement for love/relationships is the biggest red flag I'd say.
Love/Relationships are something that takes time to brew up. Yet, there are desperate people that think a single night of "flirting" = a relationship.
Came here to find out that i'm the toxic person for a relationship 🧐
Your not toxic, you may just be misunderstood ☺
@@harry.h4304 thats an unhealthy way to look at it.
Same
we all have toxic traits, nobody is perfect. it's a good step at noticing and holding yourself accountable in areas that you can improve :)
@@userzquid nobody is perfect, your right. Part of what makes me toxic is having unrealistic expectations both for myself and others. I am working on this. But it's so hard.
One thing to keep in mind particularly about #1 & #2 - these are common behaviors of victims in abusive relationships. As always, context is important.
If one person in the relationship often does 1 & 2, and the other person often does 3-7, begin looking at your relationship and your own well-being.
The first one was what was wrong with one with my exes. It felt like he wasn’t really being himself most of the relationship, he was being what he thought I wanted him to be. Plus he said he loved me in the first two weeks we started dating. Long story short, it didn’t last long...
I'm guilty of doing some of #1 and #2; I'm working on learning to open up and speak my mind. For so long I've been afraid to be rejected or cast aside for expressing my thoughts and feelings, whether it be friends or romantic partners, but I want this relationship to last so I'm working on myself >:'3
Though I really think you should be aware of certain signals and that you should look out for yourself stepping into new relationships, I find it hard to see that we are collectively learning to push people away when we’re noticing red flags. Of course, some people take advantage of others or emotionally abuse their partners. That’s not okay. But we’re all human and I think the most beautiful thing about relationships is that you learn to deal with each other’s past, emotions, built up patterns and behavior. I’m not saying you should always tolerate someone’s actions no matter what, but I think sometimes we tend to cancel people out of our lives as soon as we notice strange behavior. Just a little rant, love the videos by the way xx
I'm so happy I can say no to 99% of this stuff. It's so nice to be in a healthy relationship. ^_^
That's good to know
The art style is so cute! I love it!
ayyyyy fellow bnha fan
Omg your profile pic 😊
I love your profile pic ;w;
Ah I see, you are a person of culture as well. 😌
Also 6 days ago o.o?
I might be the toxic one then but I’m just insecure and scared and keep thinking there’s always someone better and it hurts
And i hide my feelings to avoid any arguments or any sadness idk I feel like such a shitty girlfriend the longer we date
I have to disagree with the second one.. some ppl just dont feel emotions like "normal" ppl, to put it simply, and have a difficult time explaining when they do feel something.. but other than that it's a great vid!!
Communication is the bridge to understanding. "Hey, I have all these feelings but it's hard to explain, do you have time to listen?" I understand it's hard sometimes (or most times) to get it out, and I'm too neurotypical to fully know how truly hard it is for some. But if the other is willing to take their time to listen while you try to put your feelings into words, and clear up misunderstandings before they turn to hostility, that's half the path to a healthy relationship. If they're not willing to listen, and you already tried time and time again, pack up and look to greener pastures, they're not worth your time.
Finally someone said it
@@karendesmarto3378 Good to know I'm not the only one
@@biblicallyaccuratecockroach Thanks!! This was really helpful to me! I hope you have a blessed day 😌
Yes! I rejected him many times, despite my strong feelings for him, and he took the rejections hard. He ran off to date other girls and tried to show them off to me. "Look how happy I am!"
I told him, "you need to heal!" and "I don't want to be a rebound!" along with, "I deserve someone who loves me."
He couldn't listen to me, and he just left me on read. I know I did the right thing, but it still hurts. I still wish him well and care about him.
But, I know I can find others who will treat me better.
Yea you really did the right thing ..
Very childish of him ...
And you did Dodge a bullet, if you would have dated him ..I think it would be a very toxic relationship
Let's hope he gets more mature
In 3:50 ”you always wanna leave them wanting more” it sounds manipulative in my mind.
If your ”too needy” or something, maybe both are and its cool when there is no anything we are not telling right in beginning...
Love your videos 💜
"They don't priorities you" that hurt like a truck.
But you are absolutely right.
Wow! With the exception of #7 (maybe), all of this stuff even applies to regular relationships like best friends.
I came to the realization that I need new friends recently when my current best bud swears he's interested in a project we've been working on as a hobby and (when I ask him) even schedules days for us to work on it now that we have money. But he never shows up (despite him deciding the day we do it), puts any effort into making sure it happens, or brings it up on his own in conversation. The icing on the cake is that on Discord I can literally see him playing the same game every day for hours (3-12)with his other homies so it's not like he DOESN'T have the free time. But he refuses to admit he'd rather be doing those things and keeps setting up project days he "didn't remember" to show up to. 🤔
...we've been playing this dumb cat and mouse game for 7 months bro lol (I need new friends... He has some after all)
So yeah, this can apply in many kinds of relationships 😅
Oh my god SAME
Ask him what's going on. If nothing changes, exclude him from the project. If the situation stays like that it will be the "doom" of the project.
Jealousy does not make a hard equation to insecurity. If you're flirting with someone else or sit in someone else's lap, your partner has every right to be jealous. Jealousy is not the problem. Not knowing the difference between proper and improper jealousy is the real issue.
I'm currently dating and hitting most of these red flags but it's to be expected since we decide that one of us was not ready so we decided to deal with the problems b4 we start a relationship. 8 months later things are getting significantly better as we know each other more now. She is the best. We're planning for next year trips and talking about getting a relationship. Trust me it been hard AF but it definitely starting to paid off.
Can I just say that I genuinely love the voice of the person who speaks in these videos? It's very soothing, clear and it has a nice ring to it 😌
8 dating red flags you need to look out for
They don't want to label the relationship after a few months of dating.
You don't feature on their social media accounts after a few months.
They never initiate dates.
There's a power imbalance.
You express your feelings to one another differently.
One of you is keeping secrets.
They won't compromise
The secret one is hard to see because... It's obvious... It's secret xD
These are very true red flags!
Everyone expresses there feelings differently though. It’s learning to accept that everyone is different and we don’t have to love the same way
About the social media thing, some people are private and don’t want to be on any social media platforms, and that’s okay 🤷♀️ Not everything has to be on social media. That includes significant others if they are not comfortable with it.
If y’all express your feelings differently, you’re going to have to compromise. So those two advices kinda contradict each other.
I wish I watched this sooner. My ex always talks badly about his past relationship and I was so blinded to think and to see it as a way of him assuring me that I was different but then ending the same way. I'm afraid of the fact that he's talking badly about me with his new gf.
Never ignore the red flags. They're shown to you for a reason. No matter how much you like/love them, or how many months/years you've spent with them, let them go. They'll never change.
Already did I wanted him break up with me .
Bottom line guys. Do what makes you happy. If you’re partner is making you unhappy, then they’ve got to go. Ultimately it’s abt what you want
This channel came up on my recommend a few months ago, now I am obsessed with this channel, it taught so much about myself and Psychology
I’m so busy every day but I will always find time to spend with my boyfriend because I really love him
If only she had the same way of thinking as you do.
TONIGHT on “Questions you never thought to ask yourself.”
And a super important footnote: these red flags can show up right away or months later (perhaps, say, after some Love Bombing)… either way, they’re so important. Thank you!!
I feel like I am the person in this video.
How many of these signs described you?
Seeing red flags doesn't mean you have to leave,red flags are opportunities to help build some who's willing to change
It's important to note too that some people take time to open up, you don't have to tell them EVERYTHING on the first date, week or month. Go at your own pace and if they don't like it, its their loss...but don't be too mysterious either, try your best at talking about yourself even if it's difficult for you.
I really like the thumbnail 😂
Same
Same
What do you like about it the most? :)
I swear this is a toxic free RUclips channel
Another one to look out for from my last relationship, is they they don't let you make decisions or don't ask you what you're comfortable with. Make sure to always ask your partner what is and isn't ok in a relationship. This can relate to PDA or actions in private that you're not comfortable with yet too. Stand your ground on those boundaries too.
Ask them for every single thing? That's exhausting and sounds like you're no longer in control of your life; they are.
I just found this video. Thank you all for giving me this new insight on relation. The Last man I was dating had 5 of the 7 red flags you discussed here. May add one more to this - 8,) if you & your partner has a fight & he/she knows they will lose, they will block you on all social media, phone & email.
Red Flag 1: Not sharing your items with your partner in Minecraft
*don't share ur diamond*
NONE SHALL TOUCH MY DIRT CHEST! THE EMPORER WILLS IT!
LOL
Red flag 2: killing them as imposter.
Dont take my hard earned diamonds sucker!
Any singles here watching this video for no reason? 🙋🏻♀️
You
Get a life.
@@Jason-Joestar for real
🙋♀️
No wonder he left u
I get jealous people have partners but sometimes I see that I'll have more time develop myself better if I don't have one yet.
This video hurt me so bad. It reminded me of the last relationship I was in.
He was all of these things.
7 red flags in dating you should watch out for:
1. They always agree with you
2. They hide things from you
3. They don’t prioritize you
4. They are dismissive of you
5. They easily get jealous
6. They make you second-guess their feelings
7. They talk badly about their exes
I think I have seen all in the person :/
Shit-
That's sad..
I don’t feel worthy of a relationship. I’m my worst critic and my expectations are too high. The INFP part of me daydreams of when I’ll meet him but I haven’t yet. Self love is key.
I love how the art varies from time to time it makes the videos even more interesting than they already are
true
YALL ITS BEEN 7 MONTHS OF DATING, IM PROUD BECAUSE I CANT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN CONCEPT OF EMOTION BUT YET HERE I AMMMM 😩😩😩❤️❤️
Perfect timing when I have a crush
I don't want a crush
Perfect timing when I have a crush
I don't want a crush ❣🖤🌹🖤💘😘💓
A good partner is quite like a best friend, but romantic.
that awkward moment when you're the red flag😭
If you realise you're the red flag, then it's time to change :)
And the fact that you recognise yourself is the first step to build a healthier relationship !
I too recognise myself in one of my past relationship.and I dont want to make the same mistakes ever again
After I broke up with my ex I came to this video and realized that he has done all those things. I’m glad I ended it so soon. I talked to him about the wrongs in the relationship and we both agreed to stay friends
About the ex thing. From a personal perspective - I still mention my ex sometimes (mostly when I need to vent to my friends, so I guess it doesn't really count ^^"), 'cause he blamed me for ruining his life and several of his suicide attempts YEARS after the breakup. He texted me so many times and almost every one of them would end in me having a panic attack. We've known each other for a bit over three months, dated for even less than that. All because he couldn't take no for an answer when I was honest to god busy with work and he wanted to talk/meet. It got so bad (a month in!) that somedays I had to turn off my phone despite having been honest and telling him upfront that I wouldn't be able to talk to him much. Plus he was really pushy about the bedroom stuff. And on top of all of that, he said 'I love you' about four to five weeks in. After breaking up I was so scared... He had/still has a collection of knives, was diagnosed with sociopathy, and knows where I live.
Wow.....
No YOU arent the red flag ...
I hope he never forced you for the bedroom stuff ..
Damn ..People like that does exist..
Hope you're well and better
@@bamaboo8398 He tried to, but I stood my ground. After I told him no, he threw a temper tantrum and refused to lay on the bed with me. He decided to go lay on the floor instead (as a form of protest, I guess?). Safe to say I broke it off REAL fast after that
I’m not even old enough to date, yet I’m still watching this.
Its better to educate yourself befor you go in to a relationship later on. So i think you are doing a really good job with watching these
Just one thing. Let no one take your happiness and goodness away ❤
Everyone else be saying “early”, I’m over here to tell you guys to have a great day :)
Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day, too :)
Thank you Applejucce you also have a great day! :3
@UC6YxoZIdZqwNbu9ryLjUP6A did you really just copy & paste their comment?
thank you, i hope you have a great day too
People who say they are early : Understandable have a great day
1. They always agree with you
2. They hide things from you
3. They don't prioritize you
4.They are dismisive of you
5. They easily get jealous
6 . They make you second guess your feelings
7. They talk badly about their exes
Thanks for the knowledge
"do you relate to anything on this list?"
me who does number one and two
"no..."
The amount of girls that are talking bad about their exes are litterary everywhere. Like I swear I heard the same story for 7-8 diffreant girls about how their boyfriend were just too little caring for them or always seems to be in a bad mood.
Most often when girls are being treated this way when they ain’t looking at the whole picture. They only see the small amount downsides there were about their previous one over how great he was. My of those boyfriends were gamers, and the girls want 100% attention, 90% ain’t cutting it. There were also that one time when a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend cause he didn’t lend her more than half of his incomes to spend on ingame content.
What a way to break up.
I wish I knew this when I actually was in such a situation-
First. They always agree with you. They are right. It's ok to be different. What they didn't mention is there is a reason of why they are interested in you. It's ok to have something in common with someone. As long as you know you know yourself, that's ok. Maybe that person just wants a friend and doesn't know what love is. Someone should know if someone is trying to control someone, right? If not, then you are not that smart. That's ok. All you got to do is to do some research, then you know how to avoid such situations. No worries.
Second. Hiding things from you. Hiding what, who they are? Seriously? There can be something that made them be that way. That's why you talk to them about their struggles, not their flaws, because everyone has done something in their life to be that way, you know? Try leading them out of the dark instead of pointing fingers. That simple. If you point a finger, three is pointing back at you. That, or they feel like they can't express themselves. That's why you ask. If they don't answer, don't pressure them. Simple as that.
Third. They don't prioritize you. Seriously? And you are supposed to be dating. They are not your mom/dad. If they do anyways, let them know you appreciate them and you can fend for yourself, then share that love back. It's a partnership, not a daycare. If one cares as much for the other, they would be caring for each other, not it being one sided, you know?
Fourth. They are dismissive of you. I'm glad they mentioned in the beginning of the message to "look out for how the other person you are dating talks to you" and in the end "you should give your say in the relationship." They are right about these two phrases. Only these two phrases. They didn't cover the fact someone can care about you and worry about you. Giving your say in the relationship means to communicate with the other. Like I said, a partnership, not a daycare. The ones who should be encouraging and supportive are your friends. Your lover knows you are a great person, that is why they are with you, silly. Don't take advantage of that, or karma will bite you in the rear-end.
Fifth. They easily get jealous. Just explain is all. They are not a monster. They just don't know. Let them know, you know? They simply don't know what is going on. Doesn't make them a monster for someone being loyal. It's dating.
Sixth: They can make you second guess your feelings. The phrase "you don't want to come in too strong or too needy because they want to come back for more" doesn't make any sense. Sounds like modesty if you ask me. That is what pushes people forward. That boost that you get that makes you feel happy and they are not selfish. Simple as that. Like I said, they are not your mom/dad. It's a partnership. If they are happy, let them be happy. If you can't be happy, talk to them. They won't bite.
Seventh: They talk badly about their exes. Why? That's why you should find out. Ask questions. Support them instead and let them know you are not going to be that way. That's it. Show them some love and support and let them know you won't do that to them. Simple as that. Why is this frowned upon? Scared to "pitch in?"
This is a lot more safer and provides a less arbitrary explanation then the video. Thank you for explaining this a bit more
@@begonefosh
Aww! That's great! I love psyche to go. I posted this because I look up to them. It may sound harsh, but it was just honesty, because I looked up to them. It's nothing bad towards anyone.
1:14
Okay, that's just adorable
Well, this video just made me look at my own behaviors. If you identify and resonate with being the person who’s exhibiting these behaviors and in all this time it hasn’t been intentional that you’re exhibiting these behaviors.. how do you work on them? Especially when you want to move forward and be with that person?Is a simple apology and acknowledgment of these behaviors to your partner enough?
It broke my heart a little watching this because immediately i felt guilty bc I could pin point events to each of these in regards to when I have exhibiting these behaviors towards my person.. but it wasn’t intentional.. I can identify that my responses come from a place of fear that they don’t actually love me, of needing to assert myself and trying to prove that I am worthy and valuable towards a relationship.
same bro, please let me know when you have an answer
ohmygod damn my ex was all of them
im-
It’s good they’re an ex
When your boyfriend hasn't spoken to you in 3 days but will gladly have a conversation with your best friend and his brother on a chat your on. But doesn't have time for you. 😑🤔🙄
Yikes, this video literally lists everything involved in my current relationship...
It feels much more better when I know what is good and what isn't. My partner is a bit too jealous sometimes but he told me why and we had deep conversation about it. I'm so happy that I found this yt channel
“Do you relate to any of these signs?”
Me: no....... *cries in single*
strangerthingsfreakk fan Ik I’m joking.... I’m terrified to even date someone...
My boyfriend had problems with the fourth point. Nearly everything I did and was proud of or happy about - he always told me it´s no big deal, I had to chill or didn´t even gave a comment to it sometimes. It hurt very bad. So I talked to him after these situations and eventually it got better. Now, we hype each other up and for both of us, it´s the healthiest relationship we ever had with another person. I love him so much and I´m glad that none of these points fit anymore.
Me who doesn’t have a BF or GF: well I guess this doesn’t apply to me-
Ok
But if you start dating someone in the future,you could use it
i dont have one either
Is good to know future reference you have I'm single don't have a BF or GF had a Fiancé he had few this red flags.
I mean, I guess it is good for future reference 😊
I just don't like talking about myself
wait, i talk with her about my 'exes' (actually almost just past crushes) because she finds it interesting and knows it's just a part of my past
besides one of my past crushes is the reason why i talk with my her nowadays so i guess she couldn't really be jealous about it anytime
but yeah, i'm often nostalgic but not to a point i'm "stucked on the past" or anything, mostly just telling stories i had with other girls because the new one often finds it cute for some reason
I used to try to get my boyfriend to talk about his exes. I wanted to know where they had fucked up and how I could do better than them.
By doing so, I was competing with them on a subconscious level. Being the anxious attachment style I was, I smothered him with love and affection, and he got scared away
Long story short, he broke up with me.
this makes so much sense. i don't don't don't ever want someone like this or be like this.
rom-com writers really should see this
what the hell is going on in the comment section rn?? these people are everywhere
@@itsjustme.
Report them to RUclips. They are disgusting and are ruining this channel.
@@jeffu.8053 yup, started doing that. thank you for the tip :)
I was dating someone like this, but I am also someone like that sometimes. For both of us, it was a horrible nightmare.
I won't lie; It's pretty hot when a guy gets jealous. ;D As long as jealousy isn't taken too far, it's okay.
Exactly
I'm here just to point out how valuable it is they write down academic references on the video's description. This is not only entertaining but educative in an academic way. Marvelous job!
oh... apparently im the last one ("o_o), but i dont talk bad about them on purpose, my exes are just huge assholes ("*-*). So if someone ask me about my exes, well yeah i talk bad about them because they all did something bad to me (1 more than the other). But still, luckily, there were also some fun moments, unfortantly not that many. Stupid thing is that the first and last ex mentally broke me (both on a different area) so thats just hard to let someone understand you (l_l)
That necessarily depends on who was bad in the story
5/7 red flags.
I am laughing so hard right now but I kinda feel so sad at the same time. This video opened my eyes. Thank you.
*too sad course I just broke up with my 3 years of Dating boyfriend coz I just realized am a very jealous person and I really like controlling him and the worst thing he just agrees with everything I do or say*
*He never spent time with me and always ignoring my messages* but I still love him so I don't really know what to do?!
oh god... I think you should just learn from your mistakes and look forward to other people... I know it's hard stopping loving someone, but at least try it out - I believe in you! :)
If you are aware that you were controlling in your last relationship, than you should work on that before starting a relationship. Changing it will take time, but you can change. He may not still want to be involved with you romantically, and you can't change that I'm afraid. But acknowledging that you were controlling is a great start to changing it.
@@rivertheenbybitch117 Nice saying. Very righttt
@@rivertheenbybitch117 thanks so much for the advice I will try to change to a better person
@@dacallp I really appreciate ur advice thanks so much
1:11 I loved the shipping in the picture 🤩
Hi psyc2go, please make a video about introverted HSP.
Thanks for the suggestion! We will let the team know :)
@@Psych2go YAY
The only thing relatable is keeping some things hidden. It's not that I do it on purpose, it's just my priorities don't include myself when others are involved. Making them feel happy makes me happy.
Red Flag #1:
The date is a scorpio!
I find me and her both have red flags. I mean we are at the beginning. But I feel like I have never opened up to her and always agreed with her up until now. Probably in fear of rejection, but now I have decided to show her how I actually feel about most things. Thanks for the video!
We are kinda going through a rough time though ; -; hope everything will go well. I do really like her