Simon is a presenter. Other people research and write what he dramatically reads. He's just got an accent that makes us think he is clever. It's his schtick and just clever enough.
Sam is becoming the real Da'vinci of editing, new level achieved with each epizode, I hope Simon gave him at least a pillow to the basement as a reward.
Wishful thinking. I dread more more hours of slaving away, as if Danny had much rest time... His Tyrant, chipping away on any crumbs of D's free time. Only a miracle will save him... Bts, how and where is ETA ?
If you think about it, Business Blaze is just Danny reacting to a topic, then Simon reacts to what Danny is reacting to, with Sam reacting on top of Simon's reaction to Danny's reaction. This is a tri-reaction channel.
Yet all that is for us to react to and then the consequent reaction of the RUclips algorithm. The bankers react to that which probably triggers a reaction from Simon's drug dealers. This in turn makes him blaze with the fury of a thousand greedy suns and gets him to coerce his captive writers into producing more topic reactions. Simon is a bit of a maniac when you stop to consider things. One day another RUclips content provider that specializes in crime tales will probably recount his miserable spiral into addiction and then murder as he slowly gets corrupted and then driven to complete insanity. It is great viewing. His originally dubious moral compass started spinning a few years ago. Not too long to wait now I'd imagine. A few years tops.
Gotta say. Sam was absolutely on point with the editing in this one. Several legit laugh out loud, slap the knee moments. Well done. Well done, indeed.
Me: opens a business blaze video Simon: welcome to business blaze Me: *goes to get some water, do my workout, watch the synder's cut, makes love to my wife, takes a shower Simon: now let's get into it
Back in the '80s, someone broke into my coworker Janice's car in Queens, NY and stole the radio. It was an aftermarket radio that was hard to find. Janice eventually went to a downtown Manhattan neighborhood known for many cheap (and sometimes sketchy) electronics shops. She finally found a used radio that fit her car. When she installed it, she noticed a scratch just like one on her old radio. Then, she found that the program buttons were already set to her favorite stations. Against all odds, Janice had bought back her own stolen car radio!
1) I would be very upset if someone broke into my house and snorted my dog's ashes. 2) I love how every new inside joke becomes an OGBB reference no matter how recent. xD
"that pile of mess was organized in a very specific way" is a very relatable feeling. I hate when people mess up my mess by organizing it in a logical fashion.
Honestly before I started this I scrolled down to the comments, and having finished it I can confirm that Sam has unlocked a whole new level of memerical arts and I am HERE FOR IT
7:30 - Chapter 1 - No returns policy 10:10 - Chapter 2 - Snort burglary 13:05 - Mid roll ads 15:40 - Chapter 3 - The man who slipped up 19:00 - Chapter 4 - The man who defended himself 21:35 - Chapter 5 - Florida man executes perfect robbery...foiled by bad luck
I've just realized, Business Blaze is like the typical business. Simon the middle man gets all the money and Danny is stuck in his basement. Brilliant!
There was an episode of the show COPS where someone called the cops for buying fake crack. When they questioned the dealer she said "I don't sell crack, I'm a prostitute" It was beautiful.
There was a US (I think ) case months ago where a person came home from work to find someone had cleaned their entire house, with nothing missing. They called the police, and it turned out a neighbors had hired some cleaners, and they just got the address wrong.
I'd like to see an episode where everybody switches rolls. Like have Danny present, Sam write, and Simon meme. I'm not sure if it'd be any good good, but I think it would be pretty funny.
Currently sitting in a hospital waiting on tests to see if my mom has had a stroke... Business Blaze is the only thing keeping me from breaking down and losing it completely. Love you guys!
18:55 To answer your question, the FBI gets involved on any bank robbery, no matter how minor because just about every bank account is insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC, which makes it a federal crime and gets it instantly passed up to them.
@18:32 I have absolutely been that "Karen" about littering... I have nearly had my ass kicked on the NYC subway, in a New Orleans parking lot, and even by a drag queen in my car (Fredericksburg, VA). I don't even mean to do it--I think it's all those TV PSAs from the 70s we saw from "Hootsie" Owl. I'm apparently 'conditioned' to 'give a hoot'... to the point of my own mortal peril. It's like I physically cannot 'abide' littering. (ironic, as I'm generally untidy/unkempt... maybe I needed more PSAs on hair-care techniques. Maybe those were the PSAs of my parents' generation...)
🔥 BEST BLAZE BIT 🔥 "Danny I'll see about passing a new candle down to you if that one I sent last month has run out. I can't believe it's run out already. What are you doing? Burning it all the time? When you're not writing, BLOW IT OUT DANNY." 😆😂☠
I know I got no way of proving this 100% but this one time when my late grandma was alone in the house, a couple thugs showed up with guns (the only thing between them was this big sliding gate thing we had back then) they demanded money/to be let in and my grandma just deadass told them to fuck off saying "Im just an old woman. I dont have anything you want. leave."
Back when I was in retail management I also had a brain fart or two about the alarm code. Definitely not some of my finest moments. But hearing Simon had the same problem makes me feel a little better that I'm not alone.
I laughed at that. I'm absolutely the sort of person who uses words like that at random and gets weird looks from my friends. However, Danny is just fucking around. Legend! 😎
The infamous Australian serial killer Ivan Milat was caught out by a similar outburst in court. The prosecutors were deliberately trying to provoke that kind of outburst, they were constantly asking him about the gloves he wore during his crimes, and where he disposed of them. He screamed at the courtroom "I didn't wear no..." and stopped, realising what he'd done.
to Sam and Danny. you do realize Simon can be replaced with a text to speech reader? lastly there are a ton of great online tutorials on getting rid of bodies.
Yes! Raise you voice and publicly shame those who litter! I know of one person who particularly despised smokers who littered their cigarette butts. He was fond of returning them to the rightful owner by tossing them, lit or not, back into the offenders vehicles. Maybe not the best approach (don't do that) but I expect that the holes in the vehicle interiors and associated diminished resale value were regular reminders.
I love how watching Business Blaze from oldest to newest reveals a disturbing timeline of Simon ditching his professionalism and sanity in favor of a full-bearded, cocaine fueled orgy of memes and shouting.
My car was broken into a couple weeks ago. They snipped my battery cables and tried to yank the battery out but it was bolted down. They didn't think to use the tool box they stole from my trunk to remove the bolts 🤦🏻♀️ they also stole 50+ weed jars (I work at a dispensary) from my trunk. It makes me feel slightly better when I imagine their immense disappointment when they realize every single one of those were empty 😂
GET ON THAT SURFSHARK AY: Surfshark.deals/blaze
TIME TO BLAZE
Better check that small closet you have Simon you never know who might be lurking...
We need part 3
Never heard of Tears for Fears? You uncultured swine!
This is the only way Simon will be safe letting Danny and Sam on the internet, nobody can track that IP address and try to free them.
Simon: "My geography is terrible"
Also Simon: "Welcome to Geographics"
When your brain is so big you have to constantly cycle new information and forget the old stuff.
I like how he can say or record a video on a certain subject and retain absolutely nothing from it :0
🤣🤣🤣
Yes and im an Aussie and know where Burnley is but maybe coz my british family live near it
Simon is a presenter. Other people research and write what he dramatically reads. He's just got an accent that makes us think he is clever. It's his schtick and just clever enough.
"The Fantastic Life of Danny Salter. Hosted by VSauce"
OMG I CAN'T BREATH
"My Geography is terrible" says the man who has a Geography channel...
Simon, you absolute LEGEND!
When you yelled HEY PICK THAT UP!!!
My dog picked up his bowl. He is still confused as to why though. 😆
Haha quality.
Good boi.
Bestest Boi. Even your dog Blazes
"Quick revolt in the blazement". Sam, you're a genius.
Sam is becoming the real Da'vinci of editing, new level achieved with each epizode, I hope Simon gave him at least a pillow to the basement as a reward.
Wishful thinking. I dread more more hours of slaving away, as if Danny had much rest time...
His Tyrant, chipping away on any crumbs of D's free time.
Only a miracle will save him...
Bts, how and where is ETA ?
You and me, on the same page.
sam brings his own pillow...he's in the basement by choice, simon forces danny to be there
Just an extra change of straw.
Same page.
Don’t know what kind of crazy juice “Bell End” fed Danny and Sam, but this was an outstanding Blaze.
Damn it! you beat me to calling him a ballend.
Here here
I got an Indiana Jones style whip.
Devo.. whip it good..
@@brainblaze6526 then who gets the time homered tradition of getting to wear the Zebra Mask?
If you think about it, Business Blaze is just Danny reacting to a topic, then Simon reacts to what Danny is reacting to, with Sam reacting on top of Simon's reaction to Danny's reaction.
This is a tri-reaction channel.
Yet all that is for us to react to and then the consequent reaction of the RUclips algorithm. The bankers react to that which probably triggers a reaction from Simon's drug dealers.
This in turn makes him blaze with the fury of a thousand greedy suns and gets him to coerce his captive writers into producing more topic reactions.
Simon is a bit of a maniac when you stop to consider things. One day another RUclips content provider that specializes in crime tales will probably recount his miserable spiral into addiction and then murder as he slowly gets corrupted and then driven to complete insanity. It is great viewing. His originally dubious moral compass started spinning a few years ago.
Not too long to wait now I'd imagine. A few years tops.
Cocaine is AMAZING, allegedly…
Gotta say. Sam was absolutely on point with the editing in this one. Several legit laugh out loud, slap the knee moments.
Well done. Well done, indeed.
Me: opens a business blaze video
Simon: welcome to business blaze
Me: *goes to get some water, do my workout, watch the synder's cut, makes love to my wife, takes a shower
Simon: now let's get into it
Yeah rename this channel to The Fantastic Life of Danny Salter, that's what we're here for.
And get VSauce to middle man!
Tales From The Basement: The “Fantastic Life” of Danny Salter
@@mulattoraver "Tales From The Blazement" It was better then you remembered it.
Ideas influenced by drugs
A fantastic life, ending in life imprisonment. Like most fantastic lives actually.
I feel like the longer sam memes the exponentially more powerful he becomes at making memes
Sam has powers he didn’t know he had when he started this job
His power grows with the square of frequency
The oblivion meme made me happy. 🙂
Sam deserves all the love we can give him. He's a treasure.
Sam stepped up his game on this video with some inspired work. When we finally get that Danny Bio that intro graphic can definitely be reused.
Was that an OG warcraft 3 meme followed by an Eldar scrolls meme? Dear God that made my cocaine bags tingle.
Amen
Yoooo. That was epic.
And you kinda gotta be an OG to fully appreciate them
Simon: My geography is terrible.
Also Simon: hosts Geographics
Back in the '80s, someone broke into my coworker Janice's car in Queens, NY and stole the radio. It was an aftermarket radio that was hard to find. Janice eventually went to a downtown Manhattan neighborhood known for many cheap (and sometimes sketchy) electronics shops. She finally found a used radio that fit her car. When she installed it, she noticed a scratch just like one on her old radio. Then, she found that the program buttons were already set to her favorite stations. Against all odds, Janice had bought back her own stolen car radio!
"Goldilocks on coccaine"... Surely that's just Simons Street gang name?? 😅🤣
Venomous
I laughed hard.
Usually abbreviated too "Coccaine-Goldilocks". 🤘😆
@@wut274 Still a bit long. How about Cocca-locks?
@@linkesocke4533 CokieLocks
1) I would be very upset if someone broke into my house and snorted my dog's ashes.
2) I love how every new inside joke becomes an OGBB reference no matter how recent. xD
The references to inside jokes from videos yet to be released are by far some of the best. Those hit in that special way when the time comes.
The amazing life of Danny Salter. Well done Sam I actually laughed out loud at that one
To Sam: The Fantastic Life of Danny Salter title card is a thing of beauty.
Hosted by Vsauce lol
@@dudebucket60 featuring Count Dankula
We gotta see that again. 😅
At the appropriate time, of course. Eh, comrades?
Best joke of 2021 so far
This could be merch its so good.
"that pile of mess was organized in a very specific way" is a very relatable feeling. I hate when people mess up my mess by organizing it in a logical fashion.
My mother has this problem with me all the time.
16:41 oh my God Sam. You absolute LEGEND. That gets you free entry into NZ.
My husband named our new cat Blaze. I keep watching her when Simon yells out BLAZE to see if she reacts.
Gimme some more felonious figures, fact boy, and send Danny some candles so he can write more scripts.
The Casual Criminalist is for you.
@@andiward7068 I'm subscribed to all his channels.
Danny doesn't need candles. He glows from the heavily discounted potatoes harvested from the Chernobyl exclusion zone
Honestly before I started this I scrolled down to the comments, and having finished it I can confirm that Sam has unlocked a whole new level of memerical arts and I am HERE FOR IT
7:30 - Chapter 1 - No returns policy
10:10 - Chapter 2 - Snort burglary
13:05 - Mid roll ads
15:40 - Chapter 3 - The man who slipped up
19:00 - Chapter 4 - The man who defended himself
21:35 - Chapter 5 - Florida man executes perfect robbery...foiled by bad luck
The next blaze could be a list on the top 5 most epic Introductions by danny
nah, that will be on Megaprojects
@@noth606 ha! That's the Only channel that would make sense for a video about that.
How about a toptenznet on the most rambling introductions by Danny.
Sam is at his finest when hes trolling Simon!
Sam should get an award for this ep.
Sam was on point in this episode
I've just realized, Business Blaze is like the typical business. Simon the middle man gets all the money and Danny is stuck in his basement.
Brilliant!
6:36 “hosted by vsauce” damn sam shots fired
There was an episode of the show COPS where someone called the cops for buying fake crack. When they questioned the dealer she said "I don't sell crack, I'm a prostitute"
It was beautiful.
m.ruclips.net/video/_JkwZUk3Kng/видео.html
Here's the video.
The Blazement, genius! Sam's been super on his meme game recently
There was a US (I think ) case months ago where a person came home from work to find someone had cleaned their entire house, with nothing missing. They called the police, and it turned out a neighbors had hired some cleaners, and they just got the address wrong.
The awesome life of Danny presented by VSAUCE! 😂 😂 🤣
The TIFO bit floored me 🤣🤣
Yet another brilliant Blaze!
What a good gaurd dog- protecting the house even after cremation!
The memes on this one are particularly refined
I'd like to see an episode where everybody switches rolls. Like have Danny present, Sam write, and Simon meme. I'm not sure if it'd be any good good, but I think it would be pretty funny.
set in the basement, chained to the heater
I never thought that I would hear S3RL-Dealer business blaze at the same time. Best channel ever
Good to see Danny's home is now called the Blazement. It fits.
Sam lives there as well
Currently sitting in a hospital waiting on tests to see if my mom has had a stroke... Business Blaze is the only thing keeping me from breaking down and losing it completely. Love you guys!
How’s your mom doing now?
9:45 this is the best thing I’ve seen and will see all week
Sam this is some of your finest work. Job well done
I think you guys need a slogan - "Business Blaze - What's going on?!"
These never stop getting better
Feels like Sam is upping his memeification game!
Only half way through the episode and Sam is absolutely owning it! Thumbs up to the resident memeologist
I am really a fan of Danny's work on this episode.
Don’t forget about Sam, the editor
@@SievertSchreiber of course! Sam's edits also had me laughing lots
Sam officially reached legendary status with Kerry King.
"The deriff sheputy" -Simon Whistler
I'm very happy to see the Kiwi 'no surprises here' ad get used on my fave channel. Good taste meme master
6:32 😂🙌🙌🏻👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏🏼absolutely brilliant Sam
I loved this SO MUCH!
"Hosted by VSauce" genius xDD
@@henriquelopes5080 absolutely 😂😂😂
18:55 To answer your question, the FBI gets involved on any bank robbery, no matter how minor because just about every bank account is insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC, which makes it a federal crime and gets it instantly passed up to them.
Great editing as always Samuel. Love the Big Lebowski memes ~ speaking of stupid criminals.
FROM THE BLAZEMENT!
Petition for Simon to change the name of his basement to blazement
@@gertbester1169 Blazement Media Corp.
It's now canon in my opinion. Simon has a blazement.
I'm just waiting for the day we get a Danny chained in the basement t shirt.
Note to Sam, more fart noises during the ad read... hahaha
OMG: "Today I Found Out"/Perspicacious was an excellent touch! Touche. :)
Hey, Simon. Love the videos. Could you do one where you read a list of the most outrageous ways people have quit their jobs?
He could do a five part series on that one.
6:30 - Sam. Legend.
Sam is an absolute LEGEND!!!
@18:32 I have absolutely been that "Karen" about littering... I have nearly had my ass kicked on the NYC subway, in a New Orleans parking lot, and even by a drag queen in my car (Fredericksburg, VA). I don't even mean to do it--I think it's all those TV PSAs from the 70s we saw from "Hootsie" Owl. I'm apparently 'conditioned' to 'give a hoot'... to the point of my own mortal peril.
It's like I physically cannot 'abide' littering.
(ironic, as I'm generally untidy/unkempt... maybe I needed more PSAs on hair-care techniques. Maybe those were the PSAs of my parents' generation...)
Props to Simon for correctly pronouncing 5/3 Bank. It's a regional bank so most Americans have trouble saying it
🔥 BEST BLAZE BIT 🔥
"Danny I'll see about passing a new candle down to you if that one I sent last month has run out. I can't believe it's run out already. What are you doing? Burning it all the time? When you're not writing, BLOW IT OUT DANNY."
😆😂☠
I know I got no way of proving this 100% but
this one time when my late grandma was alone in the house, a couple thugs showed up with guns
(the only thing between them was this big sliding gate thing we had back then)
they demanded money/to be let in
and my grandma just deadass told them to fuck off saying "Im just an old woman. I dont have anything you want. leave."
6:33 🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh my lord I’m gone. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Love the 90s educational business video intro music. I’m guess the “more you know” chime was copyrighted?
The memes were off the chain in this one. Loved when the "today I found out" came on screen lol.
Great episode overall, but by far Sam’s finest work yet. Keep it up buddy and we may even talk to Simon about letting you out of the basement
Back when I was in retail management I also had a brain fart or two about the alarm code. Definitely not some of my finest moments. But hearing Simon had the same problem makes me feel a little better that I'm not alone.
definitely we need a part three!!
I hope you’re healed up Sam!! 💚💚
OMG OMG OMG "THE FABULOUS LIFE OF DANNY SALTER" ... "HOSTED BY VSAUCE" ... OOOOOOOHHHH!
-EDEN WOLF
"That pile of mess was arranged in a very specific way" is a notion I know all too well.
Using perspicacious instead of shrewd to fuck with Simon and his difficulty in pronouncing words... Danny is a trolling legend!
I laughed at that. I'm absolutely the sort of person who uses words like that at random and gets weird looks from my friends. However, Danny is just fucking around. Legend! 😎
The infamous Australian serial killer Ivan Milat was caught out by a similar outburst in court. The prosecutors were deliberately trying to provoke that kind of outburst, they were constantly asking him about the gloves he wore during his crimes, and where he disposed of them. He screamed at the courtroom "I didn't wear no..." and stopped, realising what he'd done.
Hey. Sam. I saw that Warcraft3 Necromancer. Well played. Nerd. 😎
The memes!!!! Damn, Sammy!! You are on fire!
Gotta say Sam, absolutely crushing it with the memes/editing on this one!
02:45 ".. I've no idea, my geography is terrible... " 😂 Says the boy with the blazer and a RUclips channel named Geograpics 🤣🤣🤣
Memes on point in this one.
Well done sam.
The meme master has outdone himself.
We need...Danny to write a bio on Simon with all sorts of BS that Simon then spends years trying to dispel
He used Keeps when he was younger. It's why he has no hair. Recommending it is his revenge. To see others loose their hair.
@@221b-l3t _"I rely on Keeps to Keeps Me Bald™As A Whistler"_ - Vin Diesel
12:44 I haven't seen Arthur in a long time, but that's a funny clip!
to Sam and Danny. you do realize Simon can be replaced with a text to speech reader? lastly there are a ton of great online tutorials on getting rid of bodies.
But where would we get our off the cuff meandering anecdotes and sudden outbursts and quirky gestures then? It’s basically half the content. Haha
Text to speech robot voices make me want to self lobotamize
they can't do much chained up in the basement
They should have done this for April fools. Just a video of an empty chair. Ending with a cut scene to Simon chained and gagged the closet.
“What, again?”
damn, this editing hit a new level here
I haven't watched the video yet But I can tell Simon is probably going to be happy Because he gets to talk about cocaine!
Legit made me lol 👍
@Warren Shetler allegedly
I second that emotion
Simon is secretly Doctor Rockso the rock n' roll clown.
Allegedly
Yes! Raise you voice and publicly shame those who litter!
I know of one person who particularly despised smokers who littered their cigarette butts. He was fond of returning them to the rightful owner by tossing them, lit or not, back into the offenders vehicles. Maybe not the best approach (don't do that) but I expect that the holes in the vehicle interiors and associated diminished resale value were regular reminders.
Blazement..... yesss... Sam, the memes though! Hope you’re doing better!
Sam: *Includes Oblivion meme*
Me: "You have my sword."
I love how watching Business Blaze from oldest to newest reveals a disturbing timeline of Simon ditching his professionalism and sanity in favor of a full-bearded, cocaine fueled orgy of memes and shouting.
Dude, this is my best entertainment.
I would listen to Business Blaze all the time if it were a podcast :)
Yes we need the Fantastic Lives of Danny, Sam and Jen
My car was broken into a couple weeks ago. They snipped my battery cables and tried to yank the battery out but it was bolted down. They didn't think to use the tool box they stole from my trunk to remove the bolts 🤦🏻♀️ they also stole 50+ weed jars (I work at a dispensary) from my trunk. It makes me feel slightly better when I imagine their immense disappointment when they realize every single one of those were empty 😂
Sam, you legend. Imma need a link to that drug song thank you very much.
nevermind found it
@@KlaximumSkroeft Care to share? :)
@@Rickrrrt “Dealer” by S3RL
@@SenoraCardgage Thanks my dude
More oblivion memes please, Sam. They’re wonderful.