This video is probably the most vulnerable video I've ever put out on YT. I actually had multiple cries while filming it, cause it brought me back to memories I haven't thought about in a long time. Especially when I read the letters. Reach out to a loved one and always prioritize those relationships. 🙏Something I wish I told myself as a kid
@tomislavnagy8715 I am a new subscriber to Sheldon's channel, so I don't know much about him. His parents may have immigrated with his grandfather when they were young, too. Speaking from my experience: I am older millenial Korean American, so I don't know about other cultures than my own. Tbh, now that I think about it, all my Chinese (4, I didnt know the other few Chinese well; they probably were fluent, too) friends in High school were born and raised in the us like me, but were absolutely fluent. Speaking, reading, writing. I spoke only Korean until I went to school. Afterwards, I forgot it all (from around age 6). First, you usually need to be in a somewhat big community that speaks the language, my case Korean. Go to Korean school, etc. I didn't, really. Secondly, there is pressure to assimilate. You live in the us (maybe his case Canada?) now. I have seen for Koreans since my time growing up, they are much better at speaking Korean. Personally, I wasn't taught to read and write. A lot of kids won't care about languages that much; it won't affect their day to day life in childhood. So, I understand how it can go that way. Same with the Japanese Hawaiians, but again, maybe because I and the Hawaiians were old and in a different era. Also, my mom used to be fluent in German, but also lost it (losing it if not using it). I think things could be widely different now and can vary. But I can see how losing languages can happen.
@@Code_Machine hugs to you. It’s so strange what it does to your whole outlook. Losing a parent, You are suddenly very aware of your own mortality, your relationship to your own kids if you have them, and it just compounds the strangeness if they were a difficult parent!
Dude I guarantee this meant so much to your grandfather. He gets sick, and his previously distant grandson tries to learn his language and writes him a letter? It's just so sweet. I would be SO proud of you if I were him.
As a man this puts me in my feels🥹 It’s so sad but what’s more important is that it’s genuine and he actually committed to getting a hold of the time he let slip by, my respect for this man👊🏼
When my great grandma died i felt nothing but one day at school when the teacher talked about gratitude and how his dead grandma had trouble to walk, just laying down and stuff made me cry all of the sudden. It made me feel regret that i didnt try to learn more about her. She lived for that long and i didnt even listen to her and was just nodding along cause my mom was telling me to talk to her. She was very funny and used to bake a lot for my mom and her relatives..
My grandma passed away and I cried but never cry from then on again. Maybe because we are not emotionally attached. But it is different for my cousin sister. She cry day and night and she always seems to miss our grandmother. She grew up with our grandparents. Even though I have a grandfather, I never felt the attachment with him, so when he got sick, I don't feel so worried but still feel obligated to look after him and asked him about his health. I think that is because we are not that emotionally attached. I only go see him once every year and rarely talked with him. Me and my grandmother are kinda emotionally attached and that explain why I cry for her but never for my grandfather. I can't imagine myself crying for my great uncle who is a Hakka Chinese man because we have a language barrier. Not having the same language is also the problem. It is really sad about it when you think because society made us like this. We are all busy focusing on ourselves and don't have anytime for any of our elders. My father is in the US and he rarely go and see his mother who is in Chicago because he is just so busy. And I rarely call my father through phone because I am so busy with my studies. We are having a lot on our plates and we don't have the time to build up attachments among our families because of our workload. Even in my nuclear family, me, my dad, and my mom rare eat food together. We eat separately because we got our own timetable and don't have the time to eat together. Even if we eat together, I might be looking at the phone while eating because I only have lunch time to have fun on my phone. That is why I try my best not to use my phone during meal time because that habit is ruining me. I haven't felt any feeling of eating with my family for years now. A family eating together used to be a normal thing but now it is like a luxury to have a meal with all your family members. Society made us like this.
It’s ok, you were just a kid. I’ve learned that love and empathy to a large extent is something that needs to be learned/practiced. It’s not always some inherent feeling, it’s something we cultivate intentionally. I wouldn’t expect a child to know that.
When I heard the guy in the video as well as you say you didn’t care really about your grandparents I thought you guys were evil but now I realize I just have a strong connection to my grandparents cause I live with them and my grandpa was kinda like a father to me. Also my grandpa spoke English pretty well and either way I could understand them even when not in English. I guess if I rarely saw my grandparents and couldn’t understand them or communicate with them, I wouldn’t be super sad if they passed either. I still am sure I would be though as I like history and they are my ancestors no matter what do I’d value them either way and want to know about them.
I’m 23 and my parents are 62. They aren’t sick or in bad shape, but I can see that they’re not getting any younger. Sometimes it’s a bit daunting. However, I am very close to my parents and I try to spend as much time with them as possible. I love them so much. They’re most likely not going to die anytime soon, but I can’t stop thinking how they will be one day 80 years old. It will be tough to see them old and wrinkly. They’re my parents, they’re not supposed to be weaker than me. Now I’m crying fuck. Grateful for my parents who took such good care of me, and I promise to always do the same when the time comes, it will be my pleasure.
I only have my maternal grandmother left, and she needs more and more help. I wish I would have been older when my grandpa died. He started losing his memory when I was 10, and it had been getting worse until he died in 2017. I was 15. I was young, dumb and clueless. I wish we could have had real conversations about life. In his dementia, he would always tell me that I was smart and would accomplish great things, but I can never know if he would really mean it had he not been sick and losing his memory. I wish I could have seen him the way I see him now. I try to spend time with my grandma, but she is a difficult woman. I should make a bigger effort because she will be gone much sooner than my parents. I never even met my paternal grandparents.
I'm almost 16 and my dad is 63. I love my dad so much and I'm so scared of losing him. I've always been aware I'd lose him earlier. And even though it didn't happen yet, I still have frequent breakdowns at realisation each time. I spend time with him but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. I want him to watch me be the successful and happy daughter of his that he wnated me to be. I'm afraid for jt kt happening but I pray my parents live to see that day happening. It would mean everything in the world to me.
We have the same age gap between us and our dads, and back in 2021, when I was your age, mine had a heart attack, hit a tree, and passed in the hospital. I'm not trying to scare you or anything ofc, just cherish him. Tell him you love him every time you leave him, even if you're mad at him. You never know what's coming next.
In short guys, It is about having time to spend together with your family. As life is finite and time keeps going, we should be grateful and enjoy the happiness before it is gone.
Gotta agree with everything said. We get so busy with our own lives that sometimes we take things for granted, or not care enough. It may not seem like much, but sometimes a small walk at the park with your parents will mean so much to them, especially when they are over 50.
im 15 and my mother is 53 (at the moment im writing this) and im so scared of losing her,i already lost my dad and if i ever lose my mom its over,js the thought of it makes me feel genuinely sick,i wish some things were forever
whats weird is this is my EXACT situation, like everything down to a T, I’m constantly fearing that one day I wont have my mom around and it ruins my day a lot of the times
I’m 16, dad’s 50, and now that I think about it…. That’s only likely gonna be 20-25 years left, it may seem like that’s a lot but… that’s only 25 summers, springs, winters, and autumns. He’s lived more than half of his life, it’s scary now that I think about it, I want to take the time to actually talk to him.
Well I get it, mine is 16 and dad is 59 who is also a chinese/hk person, the time will come but no matter how much we think about it we can't do anything about it or we gotta do is just continue to move towards the future or hope that some accident will cause you to die faster than your parents. In the end is just who will have to suffer more and who gets to escape from this feeling.
I'm 16 too and my father turned 50 today. You're not alone in having that thought too. Everyone is destined to die, so try making the most out of it, is what my dad says.
I'm 16, almost 17. My dad is in his early sixties and my mom's in her late fifties. Ive known for pretty much ever that they're probably gonna die when I'm still pretty young. Any time I can, I try to spend time with them, even if it's just stopping at Walmart or something. Thing is, my dad used to be a drinker, smoker, basically everything when he was younger, before I was born. Everyone said he should've died young, but eventually he quit everything and he's still alive today at almost 65 years old. I'm extremely grateful for the time I've been given with him and my mom, and I hope they'll still live for a while cause my dad's always said he wants to be alive for when I get married and have kids.
Time is the most valuable thing we possess, a gift from nature, a gift that not even the most generous person can offer. Yet, we let it be taken from us, and most of the time it’s due to our own negligence. Lost time belongs to death. Convince yourself that I am telling you true things, and make the best use of your time. ❤
im 14 and my parents are 59 and 56, i can relate very well to you, i know it can be tough and worrying everytime you remember how old they are, but we're not alone
Yea Spend time with them. My current regret im making is Not spending Most my time with them and instead studying to atleast make them be Proue of me before their gone and Not disappoint…
This is actually crazy, 3 days ago at 4:06 AM my dad passed away from cancer. I had broken Vietnamese and couldn’t say to my dad so I had my cousin help me translate. Now I am getting ready to go to my dad’s funeral on Sunday, I’ll be sad when I see him since this is my last day seeing him then people will ship him to Vietnam to bury him and my other families from that side will do another funeral there.I am happy I spent time with my father all these years till 16.I miss him but I’ll pray for my dad everyday and hopefully he can finally have no pain and let buddah protect and give him peace. I’m glad my mom is here to support me and my family.
As a vietnamese american i speak very broken vietnamese too and my mom realizes that my time is valuable and she wants me to dedicate to learning vietnamese. You dont realize how important something is until its gone.
I'm a Vietnamese, born in Vietnam, will be turning 16 in December this year. Back then I was really bad at academic Vietnamese and possesed a pathetic writing skill despite the fact that my mom was literally a high school literature teacher. Before she got cancer and passed away 5 months ago, I managed to get a decent grade in literature. She was so happy when she heard that news. I was standing beside her in the hospital bed, she couldn't speak a word due to the pain she had to endure but she still smile at the news, she was so proud of me. I'm sorry but i nearly cried writing this, i still can't believed the first time i actually made my mom proud was also the last. Mẹ ơi con nhớ mẹ quá 😭😭😭
You got me crying like a baby over here man. I needed that cry. Lost my dad not too long ago and I pretty much had to go through the same thing. The funeral home wanted a powerpoint of pictures they could put on loop, but man he had a way more eventful like than that. So i made a video instead. I scanned HUNDREDS of family photos, converted ONE old VHS footage that I had been putting off for years, and cried countless hours scrubbing through that old footage of him holding me when I was a kid, of him living life, of him being dad. I’m still grieving, and every day it slowly gets better, but the feelings of grief come in waves. Some days the waves are manageable but the random Tuesday, or holiday, or weekend I start to drown. “My father didn’t tell me how to live, he lived, and let me watch him do it”.
Something that shook me was that out of the 3 deaths of grandparents I have experienced, I only broke down in tears when my dad's dad, who was the first to go, passed. While I had many wonderful memories with my mums parents, I never truly respected them and got to know them properly which I massively regret.
I 1000% relate to this. Also Canadian, from HK with Cantonese and Japanese parents. I remember going on a trip to Japan with my family at age 15, and coming back so disappointed with myself that I couldn't understand or speak Japanese to my grandparents. It was a sense of shame. When I came back, I asked my parents to enroll me at a Japanese school locally and I studied there from 15 to 22. Spent the next few years figuring out school and work, and by 2016 I decided to visit Japan again after the last time I was there was in 2009. Definitely surprised myself with how much I was able to speak. The following year, I visited Japan with my mom to see my grandparents, and I was finally able to converse with them and articulate my thoughts more using Japanese and I remember seeing tears in my grandpa's eyes when he could finally understand everything I was saying and vice versa. I continued to see them up to twice a year from 2017 up until 2019, and 2020/2021 were pretty much write-offs due to covid; he unfortunately passed when Japan was in lockdown but managed to reach 100 before that. Now that Japan is open, I've been going back once or twice a year again to visit family, and now that I'm back in university at age 32/33, I'm hoping to graduate and move to Japan to further improve my abilities.
@@Haru_robloxYT I hope you can continue your studies and do well in Japanese! It’s one of the most rewarding things when you learn not just any language, but one that is also part of your identity
I’m 14 and my dad is now 50, everyday I feel terrible for taking his love for granted. He’s lived half his life while I just started mine. For me he’s my whole life and it makes me sad to think I’m not going to be his for long.
Real. I’m 13 and my mom is 55 while my dad is 60-71 so it really hurts to think about considering I really haven’t had as much quality time with them than I’d like because they’re so busy :(
This video made me cry so much. It reminded me of when I was in 9th grade, and my grandpa passed away. He had been in the hospital for a long time, and when he passed, I was away at boarding school. My parents didn’t tell me right away, I only found out when I called home. I didn’t get to see him one last time. It wasn’t until I grew older that I learned he had tried to take his own life multiple times while in the hospital because he couldn’t bear the suffering anymore. Last year, my grandma also passed away from the flu, not long after covid. I wanted to make sure I could help while she was ill. It happened to be during the Chinese New Year, so we stayed at the hospital and my mom took care of her. After COVID passed, my grandma was discharged, and I returned to school. However, she soon fell seriously ill with the flu, and it worsened rapidly. She slipped into a coma, and by the time I rushed home, she was already gonna be sent to the hospital. I stayed behind at home, but I vividly remember the moment my mom called, asking me to bring my grandma’s burial clothes to the hospital. Not long after I arrived, she passed away. My grandma was the last elder in our family. I still remember my dad telling me at that moment, “You’re grown up now. Do you understand what I mean?” I knew what he meant-it was my responsibility to handle these matters from now on. Now, I’m still a student, but everyone in my family is over 60 or even 70. Each year they’re undergoing surgeries and battling illnesses, and I’m the only one still young, without even the shadow of a career yet. It’s a heavy and helpless feeling.
you are lucky to be able to had that conversation, I lost my grandpa during the pandemic lockdown, we couldnt visit him during that time. He got covid and were sent to the quarantine shelter where he shortly died of suffocation there due to the lack of workforce there to take care of him. We couldnt even provide him a proper funeral when he died until the lockdown is over a year later. It still pains me when I remember my mom told me he died with his eyes wide open. Who could've imagine a global pandemic would happen and I never get the chance to be with him longer. I still miss him deeply.
You are NOT a bad person. Grief is not immediate! It takes a while for it to fully settle! Sometimes even years… Do not feel like your pain is the bar for good or bad. It is pain. It’s neither. Give yourself the time to properly heal instead of rushing yourself then hating yourself when you realize rushing emotions doesn’t work. ❤❤❤❤
@@MC-uf5mz I’m so sorry to hear that❤️, but also it’s good to relieve those trapped emotions. It likely affected you in a different way, subconsciously. I think we really need to reassess our understanding of grief. A lot of people think we are desensitized due to media but I believe it’s the opposite. We are affected each and every time - we are so sensitive and we don’t fully realize it. Either way I wish you lots of love and healing, time and emotions aren’t that intertwined as we think. Emotions are timeless. I believe our gone loved ones feel our love today just as they did when they were here. Not to get spiritual and say it’s all energy, but I really do think it does become that way to a certain extent.
@@MC-uf5mz it takes a while to fully realize the effect a person’s passing can have. Even small things. I never thought about my dad’s career as an architect, but now that I’m an adult and a homeowner I so wish he were here to help me. I wouldn’t have known to grieve this specific loss back when he passed, as the opportunity only rose this year. So I can definitely understand why it takes years!
I was 7 when my grandma passed away. At the time, it felt confusing and I don't remember really being sad. It only hit when I was about 14 and then it really hurt and I felt heavy regret.
@@Ro-Girl it’s especially harder to process when you’re young…I’m sorry you had to take a double hit too by not only taking a loss but feeling intense guilt over it. I hope you’ve freed yourself from that guilt by now ❤️
As buddhist, a key factor in life to remember is to not get overly attached to things because everything isnt permanent- but while these things are present, we need to value them
@@peterwallis4288 sure as long as they are alive you might not see them as things. But once they are dead, all that's left are memories. And I think the memories you make can be called into things.
It will be the same world 🌎, just without them. I doubt your parents have such a high influential position that them being gone would affect global affairs 😼
@@redfoxsecurity3334You're either a straight up psychopath or an immature child who has no idea what bs they're speaking. Otherwise I'm unable to rationalize your severity of emotional illiteracy.
I'm sad to say that many people without language barriers take our elders for granted and deeply regret it later in life. It's hard to conceive the joy you brought to your grandfather by making the effort to connect with him. Most important and insightful video I've seen on YT in a long time. Thank you for sharing this story.
If young people talk to your grandparents you will hear stories and their amazing life! Do it and you can learn so much. I miss my grandparents. I wish I talked more to them. Sheldon you’re such a sweetheart. Great story.
my maternal grandma died before i was born, my maternal grandpa lives out of state and i barely know him, my paternal grandma is reserved and wasnt a great mom, and my paternal grandpa died when i was a toddler, so im afraid i cant do that. i do wish i knew more about my great grandparents though, but unfortunately my mom was never curious enough to ask and my dad never knew his
My mom’s over 50, but so am I. I don’t talk to her anymore after she told me I was a bad daughter after 21-yr-old son died. So… oh, today’s my mom’s birthday as well 2nd anniversary of my grandma’s death. She was my last living grandparent and the last person who I knew was always happy to see me and loved me, no strings attached. Kinda sucks that she died on her daughter’s birthday, too. But… my mom is a mean lady. My dad died in 2008 but I still had my grandma until two years ago. I’m now alone, since my son died 8 years ago. Sorry for rambling. Thanks for making this video. I wish my extended family were close. But my maternal grandparents were better at healthy relationships than my parents. I miss them very much but I’m so grateful they lived long lives. I had all four grandparents into my 40’s. My last grandma used to always say “life’s to short” to fight, etc. Now that I’m on this side of it, I finally understand.
My dad turned 80 this year, and my mom 6 years behind that. The past 10 years they've changed so much in appearance and it hurts to see. We don't have any kind of language barrier, but I live in a different city and it's hard to visit often as I need to arrange to see them at my sister's house where there's room. There are also complicated feelings about the past. Every time I see them I think about how I don't have much time left. But I've never found it that easy to talk to them. Lots of complicated emotional feelings there. In a way, I started to grieve for them years ago, knowing that because I had parents older than anyone else I knew, that my time with them was limited.
My grandfather passed away last year, and I never realized just how much he meant to me, before he was gone. I took everything for granted and the time I was with him.
Being Navajo my great grandmother always spoke navajo and didn't learned english but before she passed away she would always make a lot of noise and she would sing in navajo and I remembered wanting her to sleep so I can get some sleep for school and after she passed I cried to myself realizing what I said was so selfished since I never knew her since she can only speak in navajo and I didn't bother to ask my parents to learn navajo, but I remembered those songs she sang and now to me they're beautiful to hear and I wish I could know what she was singing about
Navajo here too, this video made me feel grateful that I at least know some Navajo. It's so hard to learn Navajo especially since it's lacking in resources. I hope you can find a way to learn the language in the future, I'm sorry about your másání, she must have been a great woman. So many of our songs are being lost to time, it makes me sad that we as the newer generation won't have a chance to learn them due to our elders dying with the knowledge. I hope you can find peace.
@@strawboi1 I will throw a challenge your way... If you really remember the songs, learn Navajo, and then honor your ancestors by making RUclips videos of those songs. I will subscribe to your channel.
I cried hard during this video, it’s true. I’m trying to be an engineer so I can make enough money to support my family but I don’t even spend quality time with them right now. Just thinking that if they died I would regret everything so much is making me take action.Thank you for this
recently my grandpa has passed away last week Thursday at 6 am. I was right next to him on the bed side with my parent. I witness him taking his last breath while he past peacefully. Thank you so much for this video at this time.
Let me tell you, I'm SO GLAD that this video was released. My father turned 50 today. Thinking about past, I am now realising that my parents are growing old not younger so is my role as a responsible person who has to take care of the family.
As a Chinese-Canadian, I resonate so much with this video. I started tearing up the moment you mentioned the first letter because that's something I would have done as well. I would visit China every summer break and stay at my grandparents' place. I was a video game-addicted middle schooler at the time and didn't care about connecting with family or even my own culture. I didn't have a language barrier but still, I would slap away attempts from my grandparents at trying to converse with me or telling me to play a little less games and more time outside, exploring the beautiful country I was originally born in. At the time, I saw them as nuisances that were ruining my summer vacation and would frequently argue and even get into fights with my grandpa, without a care in the world for the fact that he was an old man with high blood pressure. The last time I visited China was when I was 13, which was also the last time I ever saw them again. I used to be very self-hating and insecure about my Chinese heritage growing up in a white-dominant area and city. In recent years, through a variety of experiences, I have developed a newfound appreciation and pride of my country, its history, my culture, and my people. I'm 26 now and it pains me so much knowing I will never get the chance to share that sentiment with my grandparents. I would always rave about how great Canada is, but always downplay China. Seeing my change of heart would have elated them. But that's never going to happen. And the fact that their last impression and memory of me was that of an immature and oblivious teenager who had no concept of family, filial piety, or appreciation for how much they did for me constantly hangs over my head. I regret so much taking my grandparents for granted and constantly fantasize about somehow sending them a letter or message in the afterlife, expressing how much gratitude, appreciation, and admiration their grandson had for them.
Resonate a lot with this and it aligns with my grandma I mentioned first. Video addicted teenager who'd travel across the world for a whole summer just to stay in a room angry at the crappy internet at my grandma's house and wanting to go home 😩 wish I could go back in time but that's life 🤷 all we can do is learn and make changes now
Your grandpa gave you so much. Everything you just shared with us. Those key realizations. And you gave him so much aswell towards the rest of his life. I can only guess that you gave him a feeling of fulfillment, love, gratitude and appreciation. And you will keep it for the rest of your life.
"I want to thank one of our students Jackie/Jacky for giving me the courage to share this story because he doesn't know it but" learn English you morons, it's grammatically correct, everything after the "but" is what gave him the courage
That was an emotional gut punch. And I needed to hear it. I am african American so I dont have a language that I know I can learn to communicate. But still English will do just fine. I am making plans to see my grandparents for Christmas. Thats honestly what I really wanted all year. No gifts or anything just time. I have visited and seen them but not during a holiday. And it was because of covid and because of starting my life.
I’m African-American, but my parents are Nigerian so that makes me Nigerian as well. They can speak Isoko and another Benin language but they are over 50. My grandpa died before I was born, and my grandma is 98, not in the best condition as she can’t seem to really move her mouth much, and she also doesn’t seem to remember me. I want to learn to speak either Igbo or Isoko so I can surprise my parents but school is getting in my way and things are getting busy. I hope I can learn it one day before it’s too late.
@@wintersuiBro if you’re Nigerian. You’re not the African American that people assume. Tbh you’re more Nigerian American. My ancestors come from slaves of different African regions so it’s kinda different but it doesn’t really matter
Bro ... I did not expect to tear up. You are a genuine person Sheldon, I wish I put in as much effort as you towards my family and loved ones. 😢 I'm going to think hard about my values and what I really want... thank you
I was at my grandpa's funeral as a little kid. I was sad, but didn't quite grasp what happened. My next funeral was my dad's. It broke me. I was still at an age where I thought parents would live "forever" and cannot get hurt, even when he got sick. No matter how much time you get with your loved ones. It will never be enough, so cherish every minute.
I felt tears forming when you read the first letter but the waterworks started when you read the second. Your story resonates with me deeply. I have no connection to any of my extended family members and when my grandpa passed away a couple years ago, I also felt nothing because I never got to know him. I wish I did. Thank you for sharing your story.
This was so powerful. I've actually lost my grandparents in the last two years too. They were proud old Jamaican people, my situation was in reverse, my grandad went first followed by my grandma. I think your grandfather was soothed by your letter, imagine having your grandson tell you how proud he is of you and thankful, I would think to myself that my time here is done, that I've done everything I needed to do for them. I'm sure your visits kept him going for longer, you'll probably never understand how powerful what you did for him was but you should be so proud of yourself. The letter was incredibly beautiful, life is beautiful, its so fleeting, that makes it precious. Take care.
In 2020 my great great grandfather died (age 105), and it was devastating to me because we basically all looked up to him, especially me. He was a war hero in WWII against the Japanese and visionary head of our clan. I even met my husband at his 100th birthday, our 2015 family reunion. He was born in Guangzhou, and fled to Hong Kong after Civil War (he was a high-ranking Kuomintang officer and a minor warlord). Some of our family stayed on mainland, some came to Hong Kong with him, some went to Taiwan, some have moved to mou leoi gung gam jyun. I was born in Hong Kong myself but move away at age of 10 and live in US and Hawaii for 11 years before return to Hong Kong and eventually move to Guangzhou.
this is not even just about parents getting older, this is a lesson about taking action in general. very profound, you simultaneously made me think of my past experiences, and my future all at the same time. many tears welled up. i have no idea how you have only 28k subs, im seeing that right now as i write this since this is my first time ever finding this channel. this is a video id expect from a channel with like 2 million subs. beautiful work man, im proud of you for being able to sit here and tell a story that you can give a positive lesson from
My grandfather passed, when I was 13 years-old. I'm American born, several generations. So I did not have the language barrier that you had. But I was very close to him. I remember receiving the news, when he died, I was numb, feeling no emotions for several days. Well, no. Not no emotions. I felt guilt over not shedding any tears. Then the funeral came. It was open casket. When it was my turn to view his body, then came the flood of water works that I desperately needed. It relieved my guilt & gave me closure to our relationship. Even now, writing about this, I tear up. I'm sure that your trendsetter cherished your efforts to learn his language & that time you gave him.
At that age, sometimes, it may seem a little embarrassing to be all mushy and honest with your parents. (I'd know, I've been there...) But just let them know you care, that you appreciate them. It doesn't have to be showy, it can be in the small things. Ask what you can help them with, talk with them and connect to them. I don't know what your relationship with your parents is like, but if you know what they've done for you, then reciprocate, and don't take them for granted. Maintain a relationship with them if that's what you want. But hey, you're still very young. There's a lot of things that are confusing, lots of things to experience, and lots of things to discover. Lots of things to learn, and you can learn about this along the way. Just don't wait until it's too late.
Same but mine are 60 and 59. Every time I think about it I break out in tears. And it doesn't help that I've always struggled in existential dread. I can barely talk about it here without having a panic attack. And I can't even really think about them without thinking about it which leads to an infinite loop about not doing anything and I can't find a way to break out of it.
😭 💖💖💖 I am 50 now. When I was your age, I felt similar ways regarding my grandparents, but we didn't have a language barrier as an excuse. I would rather hang out with friends than listen to their stories. When I had my first child and saw my in-laws and parents become grandparents- how happy they were, it made me grieve for my grandparents so hard. I missed them so much. I remembered how sweet they were yo me when I was young, and proud.
I don’t blame this guy for getting being honest and telling us what he’s feeling even tho it might sound harsh I actually find it kind of comforting cause it’s so rare these days to see someone have the courage to be honest with how they really feel even if it might come across as blunt
This video really hit close to home. Thank you so much for sharing. I never thought someone else could put into words how I felt about my persian grandpa who died in 2020. He basically helped raise me. He only spoke farsi and I could never really understand what he was saying besides a few common words. When he died, I didn't cry like I thought I would. I felt weirdly disconnected. It made me feel like I was a terrible person. It's been a few years since then, and everytime I think of him, I always feel so sad I never truly got to know him. I always wonder how it could've been if I understood him, if I could say the words "I love you" back. Thank you for doing what I never could while my grandpa was still alive. I highly encourage those of you who have grandparents or other close family members who don't speak your language to take the time to at least learn a little of their native language. They appreciate far more than you think and it will certainly leave you far more connected with your family than you ever were before.
my parents are 46. i barely remember my mom from my childhood since she's always been cold and never spent time with me, and then my preteen and teen years were full of us always fighting. my dad left when i was a toddler, but i remember more about him from my childhood bc he spent time with me, but i dont see him anymore. i hope they live much longer so we can spend more time together and fix our broken relationships. at least i hope they'll be willing to do so
I'm 14. My mum is 57 and my dad is 66. I don't know what this video is really about, because I know that if I watch it I'll probably worry even more about them getting old so quickly (I sometimes wonder if my dad will live long enough to meet his grandkids, when I grow up and get a family). If this video is about appreciating your parents, I applaud you. If it's about time running out, please don't make videos like that (I know this isn't my channel, so I'm sorry if I'm being disrespectful), or at least if you do, please don't make them too negative. It just makes people worry. And sorry if anything I said seemed rude or offensive, because I definitely didn't mean it like that. Thank you for reading this, I wish you the best in life :) ❤.
This made me cry, im 14 years old and my grandpa is in the hospital from lung cancer, i dont know arabic that well and i never had a real conversation with him, it made me realize how much a language can affect a relationship.
To feel nothing about the deaths of relatives you meet often or have any strong emotion with is quite normal. But generally you do outwardly get affected by the visible grief of the other people who are saddened by the death.
im also 13 and my mother passed away from cancer 3 years ago. i feel related to this video even tho i was very close to her i still feel like i missed out on so much.
Our Granddaughter was soooooo close to her Bop,(Grandpa) She was crushed and it's been 6 months and she still can't believe he's gone. She keeps a necklace with a small bit of his ashes in the vial around her neck! Loss is a difficult thing to deal with but we each have to find our way! Time and memories will soothe the pain and I hope in the future we'll be able to remember without pain. He was my friend, buddy and hubby for 50 yrs. The funeral we all shared something that we experienced with him and it was such an honor and comfort to hear all those thoughts! I hope you can receive comfort and peace! Know that you have the wonderful memories with your Grandpa!!
You were passionate about learning Chinese Mandarin just to talk to your loved one. And that explains you. You, as a human, deserving to also be understood. You wanted to speak Chinese Mandarin for the eulogy just because you know, you really know, that he’s right there, listening to you, your final words for him, his final words to hear.
I know it’s really hard to figure out a person that doesn’t speak the same language as you. So you were curious because you never shared your thoughts with him.
My father passed away 1 month ago I have to really thank you for this inspiring video it shows that I need to work harder on brushing up my mother tounge so that I can speak to my grandparents more and I need to spend more time with my mum and apprentice all the time I had with my dad its been a really difficult last month im only 20 so it feels like I did not have enough time with him but hopefully I will not reggret not spending enough time with my mum and family
Not sure why i was recommended this video, but thank you for sharing. my own grandparents all died before i knew them, or when i was very young. only one is left today. I call her regularly. You made sure that i'll visit her soon. To me the habit for calls started in covid, when i imagined her, hauled up at home, making sure that she had regular contact with her family. she loves it.
I was born and still live in Brazil, but I still find it comforting how despite all of differences between my grandparents reality to yours, they're still relatable somehow, really shows how we, as human beings are way more similar than we think we are. Unfortunately, both my grandma (passed away 1 year ago) and my grandpa (passed away 3 years ago) are gone, and despite me being very privileged by not having a language barrier with them, I still took their presence for granted and never tried much to ask about their past. At the time, I didn't think It was such a big deal, but when I realized how important they were to my family - especially my mother - it was too late. I remember one night where only me and my grandma were awake, it was past 12, she drank a lot and was still drinking (she was an alcoholic), she had asked me to do something and I complied. When I was done, for some reason, I felt really compelled to ask her about her past, and in an instant her entire demeanor changed. She told me about her marriage, how she got her drinking problem, her kids (my mom and my uncle). It's been 3 years since, but I still remember it clear as day. Anyways, remember to not only respect your elders, as well as talking to them if you can. I bet they've a ton of stories and advice that they would really like to share with their grandkids, don't be afraid to do it like I did, trust me, you won't regret it later.
I'm currently 23, and my parents are both at the age of 43. Don't worry. I still take great care of them while living with them. As long as they're here on this Earth, I'm willing to retire them sometime in the next year and let them see me succeed.
I felt this pretty hard. I'm really glad you got the opportunity to speak with him before his passing. I was too stubborn and embarrassed about being bad that I never fully learned how to speak french, my grandpa's only language. I loved him so dearly but for some stupid reason I just couldn't get the push I needed to give myself to learn for him, though I wanted to. And then it was too late. Since then, I've been working on my french and getting better at the grammar, but it's two years too late. Really bittersweet. Really sucks
the day before my grandma passed away, my dad pressured me to call her bc even tough i loved her so much i wouldnt spare my time to call her. i called her that day and i told her how much i loved her and she told me how much she loved me. i told her that i was so excited to see her on the holiday and she agreed and we hung up. looking back, im so glad i listened to my dad and called her bc after that day when she passed away and i heard the news one of the first things that came into my mind was "i told her i loved her one last time, she knows i love her, i was able to hear her voice and talk to her for the last time ever." and it hit hard bc she died during covid-19 and at that time i wasnt able to see her a lot, the person i spent all my life together, because she didnt want to put us at risk. so the moral of the story, always call, have a chat, tell them you love them and make them feel loved by you whenever you can because it might be the last time and you would never know.
I don't have a language barrier with my family, but my mom is 68 and I'm 25. For a long time I tried to get away from the family, because I feel like I don't belong (they're religious and I'm not) and I tried to get away from my mom probably the hardest. About a year ago I started to get closer to her again and she's helped me a mot with my mental issues. I've always been aware that she's gonna die way before I would be ready, and I think that's why I've been pushing her away. You talking about the eulogy and how you saw your grandpa in the casket just made me bawl my eyes out. I imagined my mom in a casket and something just broke inside of me. When my grandpa died I was 9 (he literally died on my birthday), and I didn't really feel much, but I still cried because that was expected of me. I don't know what I'll do when the I'll be the one giving a eulogy, I will probably break down hard... but I hope that's still years and years away.
Thank you so much for this video! My grandma was my first death and funeral experience. She had improved enough to be discharged from the hospital but suddenly passed not so peacefully a couple days later. I was happily chatting with my cousin but suddenly burst into uncontrollable sobbing when stepped into the viewing room. I don’t think she could speak at the end because she had had a stroke. We say she could pass on because she had seen everyone one last time. The last message I remember her saying was to not my Chinese. All my grandparents are gone now. While my remaining grandma had been taken care of for ~12 years after stroke. I tried to connect with my remaining grandpa the few times I got to see them. I wasn’t close to them because they live in another country.
Took me a few months before the grief set in... not from the weight of the reality (I knew she would pass away & was mentally prepared), but is when I saw her one last time in a dream. I bawled.
My mom had my brother and I quite a bit later in life than most people. She was in her 40s when I was born and it really does make me sad. She just turned 71 and she’s been saying how soon she’ll be gone and I’ll have to figure everything out (I’m disabled and she’s always been my full time caretaker 24/7 which has really put a toll on her own health). I love her more than anything and I wish I could take care of her instead of her having to take care of me, especially since she had a horrible accident and needed emergency trauma surgery to save her leg, (two metal plates on both sides of her femur, 16 screws, a rod and massive screw in her knee, and an anchor in her hip) which has unfortunately yet absolutely understandably really taken a huge toll on her body and some days she can’t even walk. She’s with me at all my doctors appointments, stays with me through every hospital admission and sleeps on those uncomfortable chairs, she’s my advocate and my angel. I wish she was younger so I could have her longer. I try to cherish every little thing she does for me and every day that she’s still here, although some days I’m not a grateful as I should be. even when I was very young (6-7 years) I would cry because she lost her mom at a very young age and I thought my mom would die when I was very young also.
One of the biggest elements of change is emotion. Sheldon, you do a fantastic job in drawing out emotion in this video in a very relatable way. Very authentic, vulnerable approach in reaching those who share similar paths. Great job using the missteps of your life’s path to help transform other people’s future.
I gotta be honest i didn't expect to watch this full video, i just wanted to check what it was about, but your story really captivated me. I kinda have that same feeling of indifferance to when 2 of my grandparents dies, one of them i did get really sad but only because i was watching him suffer, but after his death, i felt better, i felt like finally he just has peace and not suffering, but i never truly got to connect with them. For my grandfather i only have 3 images in my mind, one of him teaching me to play golf, one of him sitting in his livingroom chair, and the last of him sitting looking pale because of his sickness. And i can't even recall his face.. I wish i had more time to get to know them, and now i only have my grandmother, but i have started going on walks to meet her, and i have gotten to connect better with her, tho i still wish to do more. Thanks for sharing your story, it really put some things into perspective
This video resonates a lot with me. My grandfather passed away during 2020, back when lockdowns were prevalent all over the world. He had a condition where his leg muscles were deteriorating & breaking down, which not only it difficult for him to walk, but was foreboding for his circulatory system as well. On one faithful night, he was on his way to the hospital, he felt a sharp pain, & was incapacitated in the car, by the time he arrived at the hospital, he was in a critical state & was trying to hold on to his life as they tried to get him on a stretcher, but then, he passed away on the spot. He was a good grandfather, always catered to me & loved every moment I was around him, but as I grew older, I grew more distant with him, & I wasn't able to be with him during his last moments. My mother blamed his death on me for not seeing him often while I was already brimming with regret, & to this day, I still possess them. I regret my inability to be there for him when he needed my presence the most, I regret not seeing him on my birthday, knowing that he wasn't able to walk. I wasn't able to cry on his funeral, but I still had a heavy heart, I miss him a lot for all the good that he has done. I must thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about this, especially with a topic as heartrending as this.
I'm not an ABC but a Filipino-American, I'm still young but this video makes me wanna learn my native language after moving to the U.S. in 2015. I know my parents can understand English but doing it in my native tongue would feel better and would definitely make me connect with them more.
Last year, my grandma died of grief for the loss of her younger son. I had so few memories with her, but I clearly remember her singing an ancient song to call my spirit back in Hani ethnic language which unfortunately I don’t understand a single word because with my mother being Han Chinese we speak local Han dialects at home and except for my grandma nobody ever tried to teach me the language, nowadays when I think of her, I truly wish I could understand what she sang to call back the spirit of her beloved grandson. PS: some of you might know the Chinese believe that part of little kids’ spirits get lost when they are sick or get scared, some kind of ritual is required to call it back)
been thinking about this in highschool where when my parents wasn't there my grandma was and don't ask about my parents... I owe my life to my grandma and im spending as much time as possible with her in return so I won't regret later in life not doing what I wanted in sadness and give all the time I can spare.
Legendary RUclips pull. This gives me inspiration to fix up my broken 2ndary language and learn 2 more languages and improve my English. Thank you for sharing. Sorry for your lost. This small things in life, like learning a language, writing a eulogy... Someone passed in my family, really special to me, he knows all these different skills, especially amazing, Superb calligraphy skills. This video is great. Thanks you again for sharing. I need to learn a lot about my family while at the same time learn more about things in general. Thank you.
honestly that letter made me cry and i have makeup on i related to every word, this video gave me the motivation to learn my language further rather than just speak to my granparents of what i already know
Having my own children and converting to Catholicism really taught me the dignity of the human and my empathy grew immensely. Enjoying the little moments with loved ones became much more precious to me. Thanks for sharing your lessons. Empathy is a gift. Time and health are a gift.
@@redfoxsecurity3334 what is your point? It was the teachings of the church that taught me to love my enemy and the dignity of even the most atrociously behaved people. If my children left the one true faith I would be heartbroken for them but I would not stop loving them or treating them with dignity. Weird question.
My grandma was almost 100 years old when she died and I didn't feel sad, but how could I feel sad? Of all the ways someone could inevitably go out, I'd say dying peacefully in a hospital after having 7 kids and seeing all her kids have their own kids, living a whole life and then some (97 years) is about as good as you can get. I'm happy with the time I got to spend with her even if it wasn't much and I hope I can get to live as long as her, although I'll have to start working on my health soon before I regret it. I hope all of us can die like her :)
thank you for sharing your story. multiple tears were shed while watching this video and it was a wake up call to be more grateful for my parents while they are still here with me.
What a sweet and honest story! Respect! Some relatives one connect to, and some one don't. There has to be an emotional interaction for you to connect. That's normal. I'm glad you got that at the end, even though this made his death hurt a lot more.
though i am not chinese, i can relate to not being able to speak to my extended family due to the language barrier, thank you for sharing this very personal and almost difficult story. It was insanely beautiful and heartwarming to hear your story, progress, reason, and how you are spreading awareness to those who have not considered this. I hope you are doing well and that life treats you easy, you seem like an amazing and kind person
I regret from not trying to learn about my ancestor. I never asked my grandma about it, we never talked about anything serious coz I was still young back then and she was already sick and couldn't speak when I reached high school. She passed away before I got into the best university in my country. One memory I had with her though, was her teaching me Chinese casually, and we were laughing together at one point. I still remember some Chinese words these days, and I never told my parents about grandma teaching me. I don't want to go back in time because I wouldn't have done anything differently anyway, but I just want her to still be around so I can make her proud.
I feel your pain I wish I had more time with my grandparents I loved them so much. I was able to connect with my grandma on my mom side before she passed visited her a few weekends before, and it was nice I got to talk to her before she fell into a comma
I'm 13 and my dad's 68, i don't know if I'd even see him when I'm past 25, he's not getting any younger and he's becoming sicker and more weaker. I don't think we've ever bonded or anything because i thought it was weird to have an old dad when i was still so young, we've never really had a proper conversation or a picture together, i never really bothered with anything to chat with him. But this video really gave me a wake up call. Although I'm supposed to be young and still wanting to play and stuff, i still do. But I'm sure I'm mature enough to try and bond with my dad.
man, you really made me want to see my great-grandfather. I meet and speak with him a few times a year, but this made me realise that its not enough. Thank you this is such a great massage.
13:30 Sheldon this video had an impact on me everything you’ve mentioned is relatable “sik ting m sik gong” describe every conversation I’ve had with relative and friends of my parents at the T&T supermarket and i feel deeply ashamed for that.
My (Abusive to put it lightly) father pased away in 2020 when i was 9 so i do miss him sorta but dont cry over it. Now fast forward to 2024 and my mom turned 50. Im worried about how long she will live by me since im only 13 right now when shes 50. I dont have much of a emotional connection with my grandma who has cancer right now so i will likely not cry about her when thinking of her but will miss her.
How your eyes turn red at the end of the video really conveys everything you mentioned during the entirety of the video. You have my deepest respect for sacrificing privacy and taking the time to spread such an important message which many people fail to realize over a considerable period of time. I can only wish this video goes out there to find more people and tell you that you may not have heard much more from your grandfather, however, this letter definitely was more than enough to let him go in peace. May he wait for you at the gates of heaven.
I am so glad you made this video. My dad passed away with just 48yrs out of nothing because of a brain tumor we didn´t know about. This was a shock as a 8yr old and since then I try my best to not take anything for granted and try to enjoy every little moment you have with family members and friends, because you don´t know how long you will have them... such a sweet story you even tried your best learning an entire language for your grandpa. It really, really warms my heart.
This video is probably the most vulnerable video I've ever put out on YT. I actually had multiple cries while filming it, cause it brought me back to memories I haven't thought about in a long time. Especially when I read the letters.
Reach out to a loved one and always prioritize those relationships. 🙏Something I wish I told myself as a kid
So, You are Chinese (Han, right?), but You didn't want to speak Mandarin, Cantonese or other Languages at Home when You where a Child?
@tomislavnagy8715 I am a new subscriber to Sheldon's channel, so I don't know much about him. His parents may have immigrated with his grandfather when they were young, too. Speaking from my experience: I am older millenial Korean American, so I don't know about other cultures than my own. Tbh, now that I think about it, all my Chinese (4, I didnt know the other few Chinese well; they probably were fluent, too) friends in High school were born and raised in the us like me, but were absolutely fluent. Speaking, reading, writing. I spoke only Korean until I went to school. Afterwards, I forgot it all (from around age 6). First, you usually need to be in a somewhat big community that speaks the language, my case Korean. Go to Korean school, etc. I didn't, really. Secondly, there is pressure to assimilate. You live in the us (maybe his case Canada?) now. I have seen for Koreans since my time growing up, they are much better at speaking Korean. Personally, I wasn't taught to read and write. A lot of kids won't care about languages that much; it won't affect their day to day life in childhood. So, I understand how it can go that way. Same with the Japanese Hawaiians, but again, maybe because I and the Hawaiians were old and in a different era. Also, my mom used to be fluent in German, but also lost it (losing it if not using it). I think things could be widely different now and can vary. But I can see how losing languages can happen.
You are so right, my friend, you are so right. Thank you for being so honest.
@@tomislavnagy8715 "Han, Chinese?" Is this why he is so handsome?
Hello,
I speak english only and I'd really like to learn cantonese &/ mandarin. Please advise further.
My dad passed last year, and you never realize how much you take them for granted until til they’re gone.
RIP
As someone whose dad passed this year, I know exactly how you feel man
@@Code_Machine hugs to you. It’s so strange what it does to your whole outlook. Losing a parent, You are suddenly very aware of your own mortality, your relationship to your own kids if you have them, and it just compounds the strangeness if they were a difficult parent!
Man you guys are so lucky to have a dad. Mine went to take milk
@@kanakpratapsingh8466 maybe he did you a favor
Dude I guarantee this meant so much to your grandfather. He gets sick, and his previously distant grandson tries to learn his language and writes him a letter? It's just so sweet. I would be SO proud of you if I were him.
In this video exactly what happend to me back in 2019 but i didnt get to see him often and he died a home in peace
It seemed like, in a way, his visits really kept him going to keep fighting to make up that lost time as much as possible.
I'm certain he gave his grandfather peace and closure. What a beautiful way to pass, to have this experience in your last days with your grandson. 🥹
As a man this puts me in my feels🥹 It’s so sad but what’s more important is that it’s genuine and he actually committed to getting a hold of the time he let slip by, my respect for this man👊🏼
When my great grandma died i felt nothing but one day at school when the teacher talked about gratitude and how his dead grandma had trouble to walk, just laying down and stuff made me cry all of the sudden. It made me feel regret that i didnt try to learn more about her. She lived for that long and i didnt even listen to her and was just nodding along cause my mom was telling me to talk to her. She was very funny and used to bake a lot for my mom and her relatives..
My grandma passed away and I cried but never cry from then on again. Maybe because we are not emotionally attached. But it is different for my cousin sister. She cry day and night and she always seems to miss our grandmother. She grew up with our grandparents. Even though I have a grandfather, I never felt the attachment with him, so when he got sick, I don't feel so worried but still feel obligated to look after him and asked him about his health. I think that is because we are not that emotionally attached. I only go see him once every year and rarely talked with him. Me and my grandmother are kinda emotionally attached and that explain why I cry for her but never for my grandfather. I can't imagine myself crying for my great uncle who is a Hakka Chinese man because we have a language barrier. Not having the same language is also the problem. It is really sad about it when you think because society made us like this. We are all busy focusing on ourselves and don't have anytime for any of our elders. My father is in the US and he rarely go and see his mother who is in Chicago because he is just so busy. And I rarely call my father through phone because I am so busy with my studies. We are having a lot on our plates and we don't have the time to build up attachments among our families because of our workload. Even in my nuclear family, me, my dad, and my mom rare eat food together. We eat separately because we got our own timetable and don't have the time to eat together. Even if we eat together, I might be looking at the phone while eating because I only have lunch time to have fun on my phone. That is why I try my best not to use my phone during meal time because that habit is ruining me. I haven't felt any feeling of eating with my family for years now. A family eating together used to be a normal thing but now it is like a luxury to have a meal with all your family members. Society made us like this.
It’s ok, you were just a kid. I’ve learned that love and empathy to a large extent is something that needs to be learned/practiced. It’s not always some inherent feeling, it’s something we cultivate intentionally. I wouldn’t expect a child to know that.
When I heard the guy in the video as well as you say you didn’t care really about your grandparents I thought you guys were evil but now I realize I just have a strong connection to my grandparents cause I live with them and my grandpa was kinda like a father to me. Also my grandpa spoke English pretty well and either way I could understand them even when not in English. I guess if I rarely saw my grandparents and couldn’t understand them or communicate with them, I wouldn’t be super sad if they passed either. I still am sure I would be though as I like history and they are my ancestors no matter what do I’d value them either way and want to know about them.
Same but it was for my great grandpa
Rip man i feel u
I’m 23 and my parents are 62. They aren’t sick or in bad shape, but I can see that they’re not getting any younger. Sometimes it’s a bit daunting. However, I am very close to my parents and I try to spend as much time with them as possible. I love them so much. They’re most likely not going to die anytime soon, but I can’t stop thinking how they will be one day 80 years old. It will be tough to see them old and wrinkly. They’re my parents, they’re not supposed to be weaker than me. Now I’m crying fuck. Grateful for my parents who took such good care of me, and I promise to always do the same when the time comes, it will be my pleasure.
I only have my maternal grandmother left, and she needs more and more help. I wish I would have been older when my grandpa died. He started losing his memory when I was 10, and it had been getting worse until he died in 2017. I was 15. I was young, dumb and clueless. I wish we could have had real conversations about life. In his dementia, he would always tell me that I was smart and would accomplish great things, but I can never know if he would really mean it had he not been sick and losing his memory. I wish I could have seen him the way I see him now. I try to spend time with my grandma, but she is a difficult woman. I should make a bigger effort because she will be gone much sooner than my parents. I never even met my paternal grandparents.
Advice, don't do your parents mistake, and marry young, I am 23, I want kids desperately, a wife from my tribe, you better be fast, it's important
@@HalfBlackSahraoui
Marriage doesn’t pays the bill bro 🤦 in this fcked up economy? People are barely able sustain themselves let alone a family.
I'm 17 and my parents are 63...
Your parents are blessed to have a child like you, especially having such gratitude at your age. 🙏🏻
I'm almost 16 and my dad is 63. I love my dad so much and I'm so scared of losing him. I've always been aware I'd lose him earlier. And even though it didn't happen yet, I still have frequent breakdowns at realisation each time. I spend time with him but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. I want him to watch me be the successful and happy daughter of his that he wnated me to be. I'm afraid for jt kt happening but I pray my parents live to see that day happening. It would mean everything in the world to me.
We have the same age gap between us and our dads, and back in 2021, when I was your age, mine had a heart attack, hit a tree, and passed in the hospital.
I'm not trying to scare you or anything ofc, just cherish him. Tell him you love him every time you leave him, even if you're mad at him. You never know what's coming next.
In short guys, It is about having time to spend together with your family. As life is finite and time keeps going, we should be grateful and enjoy the happiness before it is gone.
yep. didnt need to listen to his yap at all
@ It’s not yap, he’s just trying to tell his story.
@@rawrn. He is just telling his story bruh.
dont sell your youth making products that won't live longer than you, its much better spent on people you love. there's better ways to earn money.
@@dracodragon105 That wasn't part of the conversation at all
Gotta agree with everything said. We get so busy with our own lives that sometimes we take things for granted, or not care enough. It may not seem like much, but sometimes a small walk at the park with your parents will mean so much to them, especially when they are over 50.
You RAN with everything he said "pun on your display picture using Hangul"
I already do that since my dad is 65 and Im 15, while my mom is 45
💪✊👍🙏
@@Pbcvlreally? My parents are old too btw ,Am 14 and my dad and mom are 50
@@Procreate_adventure_ Not too late, but it's better if u can spend time with them
Dude that letter was the closure he needed.
100%
im 15 and my mother is 53 (at the moment im writing this) and im so scared of losing her,i already lost my dad and if i ever lose my mom its over,js the thought of it makes me feel genuinely sick,i wish some things were forever
whats weird is this is my EXACT situation, like everything down to a T, I’m constantly fearing that one day I wont have my mom around and it ruins my day a lot of the times
stay strong, and accomplish your dream, never lose hope
@@Mustafais69 wait... you mean u left him or he left u?
Why it gotta be so simialr ltomme thO :(
@@ER-08 nah he died I meant
13:07 nah your grandpa wouldn't be proud, he IS proud. He was definitely there beside you listening to every word.
I’m 16, dad’s 50, and now that I think about it…. That’s only likely gonna be 20-25 years left, it may seem like that’s a lot but… that’s only 25 summers, springs, winters, and autumns. He’s lived more than half of his life, it’s scary now that I think about it, I want to take the time to actually talk to him.
Try 16 and 66
Well I get it, mine is 16 and dad is 59 who is also a chinese/hk person, the time will come but no matter how much we think about it we can't do anything about it or we gotta do is just continue to move towards the future or hope that some accident will cause you to die faster than your parents. In the end is just who will have to suffer more and who gets to escape from this feeling.
Never take those years for it can be 10 or less, don't waste time
I'm 16 too and my father turned 50 today. You're not alone in having that thought too. Everyone is destined to die, so try making the most out of it, is what my dad says.
how about 17 and 66 here
I'm 16, almost 17. My dad is in his early sixties and my mom's in her late fifties. Ive known for pretty much ever that they're probably gonna die when I'm still pretty young. Any time I can, I try to spend time with them, even if it's just stopping at Walmart or something. Thing is, my dad used to be a drinker, smoker, basically everything when he was younger, before I was born. Everyone said he should've died young, but eventually he quit everything and he's still alive today at almost 65 years old. I'm extremely grateful for the time I've been given with him and my mom, and I hope they'll still live for a while cause my dad's always said he wants to be alive for when I get married and have kids.
yea, spend time with him when possible :) Tell them my regards
I'm the same age but my dad's been smoking nonstop since he was 18 and he's 56 now, I'm really worried he'll die of cancer before I can have any kids
Time is the most valuable thing we possess, a gift from nature, a gift that not even the most generous person can offer. Yet, we let it be taken from us, and most of the time it’s due to our own negligence. Lost time belongs to death. Convince yourself that I am telling you true things, and make the best use of your time. ❤
im 14 and my parents are 59 and 56, i can relate very well to you, i know it can be tough and worrying everytime you remember how old they are, but we're not alone
Yea Spend time with them. My current regret im making is Not spending Most my time with them and instead studying to atleast make them be Proue of me before their gone and Not disappoint…
This is actually crazy, 3 days ago at 4:06 AM my dad passed away from cancer. I had broken Vietnamese and couldn’t say to my dad so I had my cousin help me translate. Now I am getting ready to go to my dad’s funeral on Sunday, I’ll be sad when I see him since this is my last day seeing him then people will ship him to Vietnam to bury him and my other families from that side will do another funeral there.I am happy I spent time with my father all these years till 16.I miss him but I’ll pray for my dad everyday and hopefully he can finally have no pain and let buddah protect and give him peace. I’m glad my mom is here to support me and my family.
Sorry for your loss 🙏 stay strong
Thank you so much I will!
As a vietnamese american i speak very broken vietnamese too and my mom realizes that my time is valuable and she wants me to dedicate to learning vietnamese. You dont realize how important something is until its gone.
I'm a Vietnamese, born in Vietnam, will be turning 16 in December this year. Back then I was really bad at academic Vietnamese and possesed a pathetic writing skill despite the fact that my mom was literally a high school literature teacher. Before she got cancer and passed away 5 months ago, I managed to get a decent grade in literature. She was so happy when she heard that news. I was standing beside her in the hospital bed, she couldn't speak a word due to the pain she had to endure but she still smile at the news, she was so proud of me.
I'm sorry but i nearly cried writing this, i still can't believed the first time i actually made my mom proud was also the last. Mẹ ơi con nhớ mẹ quá 😭😭😭
This reminds me of my grandma passing away when I was young, I didn’t know any vietmamese, and I couldn’t connect with her.
You got me crying like a baby over here man. I needed that cry. Lost my dad not too long ago and I pretty much had to go through the same thing. The funeral home wanted a powerpoint of pictures they could put on loop, but man he had a way more eventful like than that. So i made a video instead. I scanned HUNDREDS of family photos, converted ONE old VHS footage that I had been putting off for years, and cried countless hours scrubbing through that old footage of him holding me when I was a kid, of him living life, of him being dad. I’m still grieving, and every day it slowly gets better, but the feelings of grief come in waves. Some days the waves are manageable but the random Tuesday, or holiday, or weekend I start to drown.
“My father didn’t tell me how to live, he lived, and let me watch him do it”.
Something that shook me was that out of the 3 deaths of grandparents I have experienced, I only broke down in tears when my dad's dad, who was the first to go, passed. While I had many wonderful memories with my mums parents, I never truly respected them and got to know them properly which I massively regret.
I think you made your grandpa, happy and content that you took the initiative to learn to speak with him.
I 1000% relate to this. Also Canadian, from HK with Cantonese and Japanese parents. I remember going on a trip to Japan with my family at age 15, and coming back so disappointed with myself that I couldn't understand or speak Japanese to my grandparents. It was a sense of shame. When I came back, I asked my parents to enroll me at a Japanese school locally and I studied there from 15 to 22. Spent the next few years figuring out school and work, and by 2016 I decided to visit Japan again after the last time I was there was in 2009. Definitely surprised myself with how much I was able to speak.
The following year, I visited Japan with my mom to see my grandparents, and I was finally able to converse with them and articulate my thoughts more using Japanese and I remember seeing tears in my grandpa's eyes when he could finally understand everything I was saying and vice versa. I continued to see them up to twice a year from 2017 up until 2019, and 2020/2021 were pretty much write-offs due to covid; he unfortunately passed when Japan was in lockdown but managed to reach 100 before that. Now that Japan is open, I've been going back once or twice a year again to visit family, and now that I'm back in university at age 32/33, I'm hoping to graduate and move to Japan to further improve my abilities.
cool!
I also have Cantonese and Japanese parents as a Canadian and I’m really trying to learn Japanese for my family
@@Haru_robloxYT I hope you can continue your studies and do well in Japanese! It’s one of the most rewarding things when you learn not just any language, but one that is also part of your identity
I have Sichuanese and Japanese parents and I’m planning to learn the sichuanese dialect to converse with my grandma
I hate japan
I’m 14 and my dad is now 50, everyday I feel terrible for taking his love for granted. He’s lived half his life while I just started mine. For me he’s my whole life and it makes me sad to think I’m not going to be his for long.
im the same age and my dad is 53. dont worry, just spend what time you can with him and value your relationship. itll be okay
My dad is literally 60.. and what you described is very much what I think.
Real. I’m 13 and my mom is 55 while my dad is 60-71 so it really hurts to think about considering I really haven’t had as much quality time with them than I’d like because they’re so busy :(
im 15 my dad's 52 and i think the same
Same age, my father is 67
Shit…
This video made me cry so much. It reminded me of when I was in 9th grade, and my grandpa passed away. He had been in the hospital for a long time, and when he passed, I was away at boarding school. My parents didn’t tell me right away, I only found out when I called home. I didn’t get to see him one last time. It wasn’t until I grew older that I learned he had tried to take his own life multiple times while in the hospital because he couldn’t bear the suffering anymore. Last year, my grandma also passed away from the flu, not long after covid. I wanted to make sure I could help while she was ill. It happened to be during the Chinese New Year, so we stayed at the hospital and my mom took care of her. After COVID passed, my grandma was discharged, and I returned to school. However, she soon fell seriously ill with the flu, and it worsened rapidly. She slipped into a coma, and by the time I rushed home, she was already gonna be sent to the hospital. I stayed behind at home, but I vividly remember the moment my mom called, asking me to bring my grandma’s burial clothes to the hospital. Not long after I arrived, she passed away.
My grandma was the last elder in our family. I still remember my dad telling me at that moment, “You’re grown up now. Do you understand what I mean?” I knew what he meant-it was my responsibility to handle these matters from now on. Now, I’m still a student, but everyone in my family is over 60 or even 70. Each year they’re undergoing surgeries and battling illnesses, and I’m the only one still young, without even the shadow of a career yet. It’s a heavy and helpless feeling.
everythings gonna be okay, keep going
you are lucky to be able to had that conversation, I lost my grandpa during the pandemic lockdown, we couldnt visit him during that time. He got covid and were sent to the quarantine shelter where he shortly died of suffocation there due to the lack of workforce there to take care of him. We couldnt even provide him a proper funeral when he died until the lockdown is over a year later. It still pains me when I remember my mom told me he died with his eyes wide open. Who could've imagine a global pandemic would happen and I never get the chance to be with him longer. I still miss him deeply.
You are NOT a bad person.
Grief is not immediate! It takes a while for it to fully settle! Sometimes even years…
Do not feel like your pain is the bar for good or bad. It is pain. It’s neither.
Give yourself the time to properly heal instead of rushing yourself then hating yourself when you realize rushing emotions doesn’t work.
❤❤❤❤
It took 10 years for the grief of my great aunt’s passing. I never cried so much.
@@MC-uf5mz I’m so sorry to hear that❤️, but also it’s good to relieve those trapped emotions. It likely affected you in a different way, subconsciously.
I think we really need to reassess our understanding of grief. A lot of people think we are desensitized due to media but I believe it’s the opposite. We are affected each and every time - we are so sensitive and we don’t fully realize it.
Either way I wish you lots of love and healing, time and emotions aren’t that intertwined as we think. Emotions are timeless. I believe our gone loved ones feel our love today just as they did when they were here. Not to get spiritual and say it’s all energy, but I really do think it does become that way to a certain extent.
@@MC-uf5mz it takes a while to fully realize the effect a person’s passing can have. Even small things. I never thought about my dad’s career as an architect, but now that I’m an adult and a homeowner I so wish he were here to help me. I wouldn’t have known to grieve this specific loss back when he passed, as the opportunity only rose this year. So I can definitely understand why it takes years!
I was 7 when my grandma passed away. At the time, it felt confusing and I don't remember really being sad. It only hit when I was about 14 and then it really hurt and I felt heavy regret.
@@Ro-Girl it’s especially harder to process when you’re young…I’m sorry you had to take a double hit too by not only taking a loss but feeling intense guilt over it. I hope you’ve freed yourself from that guilt by now ❤️
As buddhist, a key factor in life to remember is to not get overly attached to things because everything isnt permanent- but while these things are present, we need to value them
Lufe? Monkey D.luffy? 💀
Kind of hard not to get attached to your parents dude 😭
But people aren't things.
Sorry, being devastated at the loss of someone is just part of life. Yes, it is painful, but why do you think we should avoid that?
@@peterwallis4288 sure as long as they are alive you might not see them as things. But once they are dead, all that's left are memories. And I think the memories you make can be called into things.
I’m 14 and my dad is 55 and my mom is 48 and I can’t imagine a world without my parents
It will be the same world 🌎, just without them.
I doubt your parents have such a high influential position that them being gone would affect global affairs 😼
@@redfoxsecurity3334You lack empathy and common sense. That's not what they meant at all.
@@redfoxsecurity3334 a lot of people are attached to their parents! Me included! 😭
@@redfoxsecurity3334Projection, huh?
@@redfoxsecurity3334You're either a straight up psychopath or an immature child who has no idea what bs they're speaking. Otherwise I'm unable to rationalize your severity of emotional illiteracy.
I'm sad to say that many people without language barriers take our elders for granted and deeply regret it later in life. It's hard to conceive the joy you brought to your grandfather by making the effort to connect with him. Most important and insightful video I've seen on YT in a long time. Thank you for sharing this story.
Lost my dad when I was 18 and my mom passed last year, I have severe depression now. Its hard to live without them.
No better time to get real invested in friends and extended family.
I also indulge in r34 being alone
Never back down never what?
I am 50 came across your video, I have tears in my eyes ,I miss my grandparents all the time.
If young people talk to your grandparents you will hear stories and their amazing life! Do it and you can learn so much. I miss my grandparents. I wish I talked more to them. Sheldon you’re such a sweetheart. Great story.
my maternal grandma died before i was born, my maternal grandpa lives out of state and i barely know him, my paternal grandma is reserved and wasnt a great mom, and my paternal grandpa died when i was a toddler, so im afraid i cant do that. i do wish i knew more about my great grandparents though, but unfortunately my mom was never curious enough to ask and my dad never knew his
My mom’s over 50, but so am I. I don’t talk to her anymore after she told me I was a bad daughter after 21-yr-old son died. So… oh, today’s my mom’s birthday as well 2nd anniversary of my grandma’s death. She was my last living grandparent and the last person who I knew was always happy to see me and loved me, no strings attached. Kinda sucks that she died on her daughter’s birthday, too. But… my mom is a mean lady. My dad died in 2008 but I still had my grandma until two years ago. I’m now alone, since my son died 8 years ago.
Sorry for rambling. Thanks for making this video. I wish my extended family were close. But my maternal grandparents were better at healthy relationships than my parents. I miss them very much but I’m so grateful they lived long lives. I had all four grandparents into my 40’s. My last grandma used to always say “life’s to short” to fight, etc. Now that I’m on this side of it, I finally understand.
Thanks for sharing
My condolences
🥺🤍
I'm sorry. You're both on the second half of life. I pray you can reconcile
Take care
My dad turned 80 this year, and my mom 6 years behind that. The past 10 years they've changed so much in appearance and it hurts to see. We don't have any kind of language barrier, but I live in a different city and it's hard to visit often as I need to arrange to see them at my sister's house where there's room. There are also complicated feelings about the past. Every time I see them I think about how I don't have much time left. But I've never found it that easy to talk to them. Lots of complicated emotional feelings there. In a way, I started to grieve for them years ago, knowing that because I had parents older than anyone else I knew, that my time with them was limited.
My grandfather passed away last year, and I never realized just how much he meant to me, before he was gone. I took everything for granted and the time I was with him.
Being Navajo my great grandmother always spoke navajo and didn't learned english but before she passed away she would always make a lot of noise and she would sing in navajo and I remembered wanting her to sleep so I can get some sleep for school and after she passed I cried to myself realizing what I said was so selfished since I never knew her since she can only speak in navajo and I didn't bother to ask my parents to learn navajo, but I remembered those songs she sang and now to me they're beautiful to hear and I wish I could know what she was singing about
Navajo here too, this video made me feel grateful that I at least know some Navajo. It's so hard to learn Navajo especially since it's lacking in resources. I hope you can find a way to learn the language in the future, I'm sorry about your másání, she must have been a great woman. So many of our songs are being lost to time, it makes me sad that we as the newer generation won't have a chance to learn them due to our elders dying with the knowledge. I hope you can find peace.
@@strawboi1 I will throw a challenge your way... If you really remember the songs, learn Navajo, and then honor your ancestors by making RUclips videos of those songs. I will subscribe to your channel.
Bro I don’t sleep like it’s 4 AM rn and have to wake up at 5 AM
Sorry for harsh reply everyone feels the same❤
that’s exactly how I’m starting to feel for not even attempting to learn Navajo at all, and this video has really changed my perspective on the matter
I cried hard during this video, it’s true. I’m trying to be an engineer so I can make enough money to support my family but I don’t even spend quality time with them right now. Just thinking that if they died I would regret everything so much is making me take action.Thank you for this
recently my grandpa has passed away last week Thursday at 6 am. I was right next to him on the bed side with my parent. I witness him taking his last breath while he past peacefully. Thank you so much for this video at this time.
He left because you had already fulfilled the promise. This is a beautiful story. Your Grandpa is so proud of you!
For the first time in a very long time, the internet has brought me closer to my family than further away. Thank you. I needed this.
Let me tell you, I'm SO GLAD that this video was released. My father turned 50 today. Thinking about past, I am now realising that my parents are growing old not younger so is my role as a responsible person who has to take care of the family.
As a Chinese-Canadian, I resonate so much with this video. I started tearing up the moment you mentioned the first letter because that's something I would have done as well.
I would visit China every summer break and stay at my grandparents' place. I was a video game-addicted middle schooler at the time and didn't care about connecting with family or even my own culture. I didn't have a language barrier but still, I would slap away attempts from my grandparents at trying to converse with me or telling me to play a little less games and more time outside, exploring the beautiful country I was originally born in. At the time, I saw them as nuisances that were ruining my summer vacation and would frequently argue and even get into fights with my grandpa, without a care in the world for the fact that he was an old man with high blood pressure. The last time I visited China was when I was 13, which was also the last time I ever saw them again.
I used to be very self-hating and insecure about my Chinese heritage growing up in a white-dominant area and city. In recent years, through a variety of experiences, I have developed a newfound appreciation and pride of my country, its history, my culture, and my people. I'm 26 now and it pains me so much knowing I will never get the chance to share that sentiment with my grandparents. I would always rave about how great Canada is, but always downplay China. Seeing my change of heart would have elated them. But that's never going to happen. And the fact that their last impression and memory of me was that of an immature and oblivious teenager who had no concept of family, filial piety, or appreciation for how much they did for me constantly hangs over my head. I regret so much taking my grandparents for granted and constantly fantasize about somehow sending them a letter or message in the afterlife, expressing how much gratitude, appreciation, and admiration their grandson had for them.
Resonate a lot with this and it aligns with my grandma I mentioned first. Video addicted teenager who'd travel across the world for a whole summer just to stay in a room angry at the crappy internet at my grandma's house and wanting to go home 😩 wish I could go back in time but that's life 🤷 all we can do is learn and make changes now
Leaning both Mandarin and Cantonese for your grandpa is so powerful. This makes me feel like I should talk more with my grandparents
Your grandpa gave you so much. Everything you just shared with us. Those key realizations. And you gave him so much aswell towards the rest of his life. I can only guess that you gave him a feeling of fulfillment, love, gratitude and appreciation. And you will keep it for the rest of your life.
"He doesn't know it, but his dad caught cancer, and he became motivated to learn Chinese to connect with him, and he shared that with me."
Interesting...
Yeah…🤔
He doesn‘t know he inspired this video… geez ppl
@@njf2892 He’s going to learn English next 😢
"I want to thank one of our students Jackie/Jacky for giving me the courage to share this story because he doesn't know it but" learn English you morons, it's grammatically correct, everything after the "but" is what gave him the courage
That was an emotional gut punch. And I needed to hear it. I am african American so I dont have a language that I know I can learn to communicate. But still English will do just fine. I am making plans to see my grandparents for Christmas. Thats honestly what I really wanted all year. No gifts or anything just time. I have visited and seen them but not during a holiday. And it was because of covid and because of starting my life.
If they have their own language a quick google can even lead you to apps specific to languages even.
I’m African-American, but my parents are Nigerian so that makes me Nigerian as well. They can speak Isoko and another Benin language but they are over 50. My grandpa died before I was born, and my grandma is 98, not in the best condition as she can’t seem to really move her mouth much, and she also doesn’t seem to remember me. I want to learn to speak either Igbo or Isoko so I can surprise my parents but school is getting in my way and things are getting busy. I hope I can learn it one day before it’s too late.
@@wintersuiBro if you’re Nigerian. You’re not the African American that people assume. Tbh you’re more Nigerian American. My ancestors come from slaves of different African regions so it’s kinda different but it doesn’t really matter
You're Nigerian-American
@@Jakub680yea I get what you mean cause it’s just not the same
Bro ... I did not expect to tear up. You are a genuine person Sheldon, I wish I put in as much effort as you towards my family and loved ones. 😢 I'm going to think hard about my values and what I really want... thank you
Not" I wish," I will put in as much effort 🙏🙏🙏 let's get it tommy
@@cantotomando 🫡🫡🫡
I lost my mom recently, and I appreciated every single day I spent with her good or bad. It was so sudden 😢
I was at my grandpa's funeral as a little kid. I was sad, but didn't quite grasp what happened. My next funeral was my dad's. It broke me. I was still at an age where I thought parents would live "forever" and cannot get hurt, even when he got sick.
No matter how much time you get with your loved ones. It will never be enough, so cherish every minute.
I felt tears forming when you read the first letter but the waterworks started when you read the second. Your story resonates with me deeply. I have no connection to any of my extended family members and when my grandpa passed away a couple years ago, I also felt nothing because I never got to know him. I wish I did. Thank you for sharing your story.
This was so powerful. I've actually lost my grandparents in the last two years too. They were proud old Jamaican people, my situation was in reverse, my grandad went first followed by my grandma. I think your grandfather was soothed by your letter, imagine having your grandson tell you how proud he is of you and thankful, I would think to myself that my time here is done, that I've done everything I needed to do for them. I'm sure your visits kept him going for longer, you'll probably never understand how powerful what you did for him was but you should be so proud of yourself. The letter was incredibly beautiful, life is beautiful, its so fleeting, that makes it precious. Take care.
In 2020 my great great grandfather died (age 105), and it was devastating to me because we basically all looked up to him, especially me. He was a war hero in WWII against the Japanese and visionary head of our clan. I even met my husband at his 100th birthday, our 2015 family reunion.
He was born in Guangzhou, and fled to Hong Kong after Civil War (he was a high-ranking Kuomintang officer and a minor warlord). Some of our family stayed on mainland, some came to Hong Kong with him, some went to Taiwan, some have moved to mou leoi gung gam jyun. I was born in Hong Kong myself but move away at age of 10 and live in US and Hawaii for 11 years before return to Hong Kong and eventually move to Guangzhou.
Of course, while older generations often don't know English, we are all brought up in Cantonese.
dang, now THAT is Lineage Lore right there
Same years that my grandfather died
You met your husband at a family reunion?
this is not even just about parents getting older, this is a lesson about taking action in general. very profound, you simultaneously made me think of my past experiences, and my future all at the same time. many tears welled up. i have no idea how you have only 28k subs, im seeing that right now as i write this since this is my first time ever finding this channel. this is a video id expect from a channel with like 2 million subs. beautiful work man, im proud of you for being able to sit here and tell a story that you can give a positive lesson from
My grandfather passed, when I was 13 years-old. I'm American born, several generations. So I did not have the language barrier that you had. But I was very close to him.
I remember receiving the news, when he died, I was numb, feeling no emotions for several days. Well, no. Not no emotions. I felt guilt over not shedding any tears. Then the funeral came. It was open casket. When it was my turn to view his body, then came the flood of water works that I desperately needed. It relieved my guilt & gave me closure to our relationship. Even now, writing about this, I tear up.
I'm sure that your trendsetter cherished your efforts to learn his language & that time you gave him.
Knowing that I’m 13 and my parents are 54 and 55 just makes this so much worse….
(Thanks for the nice comments. It means a lot)
At that age, sometimes, it may seem a little embarrassing to be all mushy and honest with your parents. (I'd know, I've been there...) But just let them know you care, that you appreciate them. It doesn't have to be showy, it can be in the small things. Ask what you can help them with, talk with them and connect to them. I don't know what your relationship with your parents is like, but if you know what they've done for you, then reciprocate, and don't take them for granted. Maintain a relationship with them if that's what you want.
But hey, you're still very young. There's a lot of things that are confusing, lots of things to experience, and lots of things to discover. Lots of things to learn, and you can learn about this along the way. Just don't wait until it's too late.
Same but mine are 60 and 59.
Every time I think about it I break out in tears. And it doesn't help that I've always struggled in existential dread. I can barely talk about it here without having a panic attack. And I can't even really think about them without thinking about it which leads to an infinite loop about not doing anything and I can't find a way to break out of it.
I'm an only child, and 22, and my parents are around the same age. I'm kinda scared of losing them, too.
my mum is 47 and my dad is 60..
@@phantomking5341 Being able to raise teens at 59-60 just means that they are very strong for there age and that means they will live longer.
You can tell how happy he was about connecting with his grandsons even tho he was still ill it looked like he was getting better
😭 💖💖💖 I am 50 now. When I was your age, I felt similar ways regarding my grandparents, but we didn't have a language barrier as an excuse. I would rather hang out with friends than listen to their stories. When I had my first child and saw my in-laws and parents become grandparents- how happy they were, it made me grieve for my grandparents so hard. I missed them so much. I remembered how sweet they were yo me when I was young, and proud.
I don’t blame this guy for getting being honest and telling us what he’s feeling even tho it might sound harsh I actually find it kind of comforting cause it’s so rare these days to see someone have the courage to be honest with how they really feel even if it might come across as blunt
This video really hit close to home. Thank you so much for sharing. I never thought someone else could put into words how I felt about my persian grandpa who died in 2020. He basically helped raise me. He only spoke farsi and I could never really understand what he was saying besides a few common words. When he died, I didn't cry like I thought I would. I felt weirdly disconnected. It made me feel like I was a terrible person.
It's been a few years since then, and everytime I think of him, I always feel so sad I never truly got to know him. I always wonder how it could've been if I understood him, if I could say the words "I love you" back. Thank you for doing what I never could while my grandpa was still alive. I highly encourage those of you who have grandparents or other close family members who don't speak your language to take the time to at least learn a little of their native language. They appreciate far more than you think and it will certainly leave you far more connected with your family than you ever were before.
Ive been in the same mindset as my grandparents and parents are getting older. I needed to see this brother.
my parents are 46. i barely remember my mom from my childhood since she's always been cold and never spent time with me, and then my preteen and teen years were full of us always fighting. my dad left when i was a toddler, but i remember more about him from my childhood bc he spent time with me, but i dont see him anymore. i hope they live much longer so we can spend more time together and fix our broken relationships. at least i hope they'll be willing to do so
This is going to sound strange but texting has helped me a lot connecting with them since they’re always on their phones. And also family dinners
@@Bunny11344 ahh yeah mine are always on their phones. thanks for the advice! i'll keep this in mind
I learned the bulk of my Chinese at 18 years old and was able to communicate and bond with my grandparents.
I'm 14. My mum is 57 and my dad is 66. I don't know what this video is really about, because I know that if I watch it I'll probably worry even more about them getting old so quickly (I sometimes wonder if my dad will live long enough to meet his grandkids, when I grow up and get a family). If this video is about appreciating your parents, I applaud you. If it's about time running out, please don't make videos like that (I know this isn't my channel, so I'm sorry if I'm being disrespectful), or at least if you do, please don't make them too negative. It just makes people worry. And sorry if anything I said seemed rude or offensive, because I definitely didn't mean it like that. Thank you for reading this, I wish you the best in life :) ❤.
This made me cry, im 14 years old and my grandpa is in the hospital from lung cancer, i dont know arabic that well and i never had a real conversation with him, it made me realize how much a language can affect a relationship.
To feel nothing about the deaths of relatives you meet often or have any strong emotion with is quite normal. But generally you do outwardly get affected by the visible grief of the other people who are saddened by the death.
I’m 13 and this applies almost to both of my parents
Literally me-
Same
LITERALLY SAME
im also 13 and my mother passed away from cancer 3 years ago. i feel related to this video even tho i was very close to her i still feel like i missed out on so much.
@bogola33 so sorry for your loss 🕊️🙏. RIP
Our Granddaughter was soooooo close to her Bop,(Grandpa) She was crushed and it's been 6 months and she still can't believe he's gone. She keeps a necklace with a small bit of his ashes in the vial around her neck! Loss is a difficult thing to deal with but we each have to find our way! Time and memories will soothe the pain and I hope in the future we'll be able to remember without pain. He was my friend, buddy and hubby for 50 yrs. The funeral we all shared something that we experienced with him and it was such an honor and comfort to hear all those thoughts! I hope you can receive comfort and peace! Know that you have the wonderful memories with your Grandpa!!
You were passionate about learning Chinese Mandarin just to talk to your loved one. And that explains you. You, as a human, deserving to also be understood. You wanted to speak Chinese Mandarin for the eulogy just because you know, you really know, that he’s right there, listening to you, your final words for him, his final words to hear.
I know it’s really hard to figure out a person that doesn’t speak the same language as you. So you were curious because you never shared your thoughts with him.
My father passed away 1 month ago I have to really thank you for this inspiring video it shows that I need to work harder on brushing up my mother tounge so that I can speak to my grandparents more and I need to spend more time with my mum and apprentice all the time I had with my dad its been a really difficult last month im only 20 so it feels like I did not have enough time with him but hopefully I will not reggret not spending enough time with my mum and family
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔
@Jade-5713 thank you
Not sure why i was recommended this video, but thank you for sharing.
my own grandparents all died before i knew them, or when i was very young.
only one is left today. I call her regularly. You made sure that i'll visit her soon.
To me the habit for calls started in covid, when i imagined her, hauled up at home, making sure that she had regular contact with her family. she loves it.
I was born and still live in Brazil, but I still find it comforting how despite all of differences between my grandparents reality to yours, they're still relatable somehow, really shows how we, as human beings are way more similar than we think we are.
Unfortunately, both my grandma (passed away 1 year ago) and my grandpa (passed away 3 years ago) are gone, and despite me being very privileged by not having a language barrier with them, I still took their presence for granted and never tried much to ask about their past.
At the time, I didn't think It was such a big deal, but when I realized how important they were to my family - especially my mother - it was too late. I remember one night where only me and my grandma were awake, it was past 12, she drank a lot and was still drinking (she was an alcoholic), she had asked me to do something and I complied. When I was done, for some reason, I felt really compelled to ask her about her past, and in an instant her entire demeanor changed. She told me about her marriage, how she got her drinking problem, her kids (my mom and my uncle). It's been 3 years since, but I still remember it clear as day.
Anyways, remember to not only respect your elders, as well as talking to them if you can. I bet they've a ton of stories and advice that they would really like to share with their grandkids, don't be afraid to do it like I did, trust me, you won't regret it later.
I'm currently 23, and my parents are both at the age of 43.
Don't worry. I still take great care of them while living with them. As long as they're here on this Earth, I'm willing to retire them sometime in the next year and let them see me succeed.
im 12 and my mom is 50
I'm 23 and my mom is 65 and my dad 60
@@NoodonoGames my dad's 60 and my mum's 47
Damn your lucky to have young parents, wish your family all the best
@IZ4DAYZ_ My parents are both good millennials. 😊
I felt this pretty hard. I'm really glad you got the opportunity to speak with him before his passing. I was too stubborn and embarrassed about being bad that I never fully learned how to speak french, my grandpa's only language. I loved him so dearly but for some stupid reason I just couldn't get the push I needed to give myself to learn for him, though I wanted to. And then it was too late. Since then, I've been working on my french and getting better at the grammar, but it's two years too late. Really bittersweet. Really sucks
Keep learning the language regardless, I feel like it’ll lift some stress off of you after. RIP to your grandpa.
the day before my grandma passed away, my dad pressured me to call her bc even tough i loved her so much i wouldnt spare my time to call her. i called her that day and i told her how much i loved her and she told me how much she loved me. i told her that i was so excited to see her on the holiday and she agreed and we hung up. looking back, im so glad i listened to my dad and called her bc after that day when she passed away and i heard the news one of the first things that came into my mind was "i told her i loved her one last time, she knows i love her, i was able to hear her voice and talk to her for the last time ever." and it hit hard bc she died during covid-19 and at that time i wasnt able to see her a lot, the person i spent all my life together, because she didnt want to put us at risk. so the moral of the story, always call, have a chat, tell them you love them and make them feel loved by you whenever you can because it might be the last time and you would never know.
I tell my family everyday that I love them. Cherish your family, folks!
I don't have a language barrier with my family, but my mom is 68 and I'm 25. For a long time I tried to get away from the family, because I feel like I don't belong (they're religious and I'm not) and I tried to get away from my mom probably the hardest. About a year ago I started to get closer to her again and she's helped me a mot with my mental issues.
I've always been aware that she's gonna die way before I would be ready, and I think that's why I've been pushing her away.
You talking about the eulogy and how you saw your grandpa in the casket just made me bawl my eyes out. I imagined my mom in a casket and something just broke inside of me.
When my grandpa died I was 9 (he literally died on my birthday), and I didn't really feel much, but I still cried because that was expected of me.
I don't know what I'll do when the I'll be the one giving a eulogy, I will probably break down hard... but I hope that's still years and years away.
Thank you so much for this video! My grandma was my first death and funeral experience. She had improved enough to be discharged from the hospital but suddenly passed not so peacefully a couple days later. I was happily chatting with my cousin but suddenly burst into uncontrollable sobbing when stepped into the viewing room.
I don’t think she could speak at the end because she had had a stroke. We say she could pass on because she had seen everyone one last time. The last message I remember her saying was to not my Chinese.
All my grandparents are gone now. While my remaining grandma had been taken care of for ~12 years after stroke. I tried to connect with my remaining grandpa the few times I got to see them. I wasn’t close to them because they live in another country.
Took me a few months before the grief set in... not from the weight of the reality (I knew she would pass away & was mentally prepared), but is when I saw her one last time in a dream. I bawled.
My mom had my brother and I quite a bit later in life than most people. She was in her 40s when I was born and it really does make me sad. She just turned 71 and she’s been saying how soon she’ll be gone and I’ll have to figure everything out (I’m disabled and she’s always been my full time caretaker 24/7 which has really put a toll on her own health). I love her more than anything and I wish I could take care of her instead of her having to take care of me, especially since she had a horrible accident and needed emergency trauma surgery to save her leg, (two metal plates on both sides of her femur, 16 screws, a rod and massive screw in her knee, and an anchor in her hip) which has unfortunately yet absolutely understandably really taken a huge toll on her body and some days she can’t even walk. She’s with me at all my doctors appointments, stays with me through every hospital admission and sleeps on those uncomfortable chairs, she’s my advocate and my angel. I wish she was younger so I could have her longer. I try to cherish every little thing she does for me and every day that she’s still here, although some days I’m not a grateful as I should be. even when I was very young (6-7 years) I would cry because she lost her mom at a very young age and I thought my mom would die when I was very young also.
You learned Chinese at the right time. Because the time that you learned it was the most impactful in the best way possible✨✨✨
One of the biggest elements of change is emotion. Sheldon, you do a fantastic job in drawing out emotion in this video in a very relatable way. Very authentic, vulnerable approach in reaching those who share similar paths. Great job using the missteps of your life’s path to help transform other people’s future.
I gotta be honest i didn't expect to watch this full video, i just wanted to check what it was about, but your story really captivated me.
I kinda have that same feeling of indifferance to when 2 of my grandparents dies, one of them i did get really sad but only because i was watching him suffer, but after his death, i felt better, i felt like finally he just has peace and not suffering, but i never truly got to connect with them.
For my grandfather i only have 3 images in my mind, one of him teaching me to play golf, one of him sitting in his livingroom chair, and the last of him sitting looking pale because of his sickness. And i can't even recall his face..
I wish i had more time to get to know them, and now i only have my grandmother, but i have started going on walks to meet her, and i have gotten to connect better with her, tho i still wish to do more.
Thanks for sharing your story, it really put some things into perspective
This video resonates a lot with me. My grandfather passed away during 2020, back when lockdowns were prevalent all over the world. He had a condition where his leg muscles were deteriorating & breaking down, which not only it difficult for him to walk, but was foreboding for his circulatory system as well. On one faithful night, he was on his way to the hospital, he felt a sharp pain, & was incapacitated in the car, by the time he arrived at the hospital, he was in a critical state & was trying to hold on to his life as they tried to get him on a stretcher, but then, he passed away on the spot. He was a good grandfather, always catered to me & loved every moment I was around him, but as I grew older, I grew more distant with him, & I wasn't able to be with him during his last moments. My mother blamed his death on me for not seeing him often while I was already brimming with regret, & to this day, I still possess them. I regret my inability to be there for him when he needed my presence the most, I regret not seeing him on my birthday, knowing that he wasn't able to walk. I wasn't able to cry on his funeral, but I still had a heavy heart, I miss him a lot for all the good that he has done. I must thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about this, especially with a topic as heartrending as this.
I'm not an ABC but a Filipino-American, I'm still young but this video makes me wanna learn my native language after moving to the U.S. in 2015. I know my parents can understand English but doing it in my native tongue would feel better and would definitely make me connect with them more.
Last year, my grandma died of grief for the loss of her younger son. I had so few memories with her, but I clearly remember her singing an ancient song to call my spirit back in Hani ethnic language which unfortunately I don’t understand a single word because with my mother being Han Chinese we speak local Han dialects at home and except for my grandma nobody ever tried to teach me the language, nowadays when I think of her, I truly wish I could understand what she sang to call back the spirit of her beloved grandson.
PS: some of you might know the Chinese believe that part of little kids’ spirits get lost when they are sick or get scared, some kind of ritual is required to call it back)
I'm 24, an only child, still in college for a grad degree, with no job yet, and my parents are over 60. I'm glad this video found me.
been thinking about this in highschool where when my parents wasn't there my grandma was and don't ask about my parents... I owe my life to my grandma and im spending as much time as possible with her in return so I won't regret later in life not doing what I wanted in sadness and give all the time I can spare.
Legendary RUclips pull. This gives me inspiration to fix up my broken 2ndary language and learn 2 more languages and improve my English. Thank you for sharing. Sorry for your lost. This small things in life, like learning a language, writing a eulogy...
Someone passed in my family, really special to me, he knows all these different skills, especially amazing, Superb calligraphy skills. This video is great. Thanks you again for sharing. I need to learn a lot about my family while at the same time learn more about things in general. Thank you.
You honestly to talk about ur story the bad and the good sides of u is on a crazy level
honestly that letter made me cry and i have makeup on i related to every word, this video gave me the motivation to learn my language further rather than just speak to my granparents of what i already know
Having my own children and converting to Catholicism really taught me the dignity of the human and my empathy grew immensely. Enjoying the little moments with loved ones became much more precious to me. Thanks for sharing your lessons. Empathy is a gift. Time and health are a gift.
What if your children convert to Buddhism ☸️? 😹
@@redfoxsecurity3334 what is your point? It was the teachings of the church that taught me to love my enemy and the dignity of even the most atrociously behaved people. If my children left the one true faith I would be heartbroken for them but I would not stop loving them or treating them with dignity. Weird question.
damn you needed the church to tell you how to be a human being?
@karambiatos
No, Christ did as the Husband of the Catholic Church. However Christ teaches us to care for one another as we should care for ourselves.
@@Б.Сэцэр Don't remember asking you
My dad’s almost 50. His b-day is soon. Hopefully this isn’t a negative video.
My dad is 60 😅
TL;DR for the video: Appreciate your family as much as possible since they won't be here forever.
My grandma was almost 100 years old when she died and I didn't feel sad, but how could I feel sad? Of all the ways someone could inevitably go out, I'd say dying peacefully in a hospital after having 7 kids and seeing all her kids have their own kids, living a whole life and then some (97 years) is about as good as you can get. I'm happy with the time I got to spend with her even if it wasn't much and I hope I can get to live as long as her, although I'll have to start working on my health soon before I regret it. I hope all of us can die like her :)
thank you for sharing your story. multiple tears were shed while watching this video and it was a wake up call to be more grateful for my parents while they are still here with me.
What a sweet and honest story! Respect! Some relatives one connect to, and some one don't. There has to be an emotional interaction for you to connect. That's normal. I'm glad you got that at the end, even though this made his death hurt a lot more.
though i am not chinese, i can relate to not being able to speak to my extended family due to the language barrier, thank you for sharing this very personal and almost difficult story. It was insanely beautiful and heartwarming to hear your story, progress, reason, and how you are spreading awareness to those who have not considered this. I hope you are doing well and that life treats you easy, you seem like an amazing and kind person
I regret from not trying to learn about my ancestor. I never asked my grandma about it, we never talked about anything serious coz I was still young back then and she was already sick and couldn't speak when I reached high school. She passed away before I got into the best university in my country. One memory I had with her though, was her teaching me Chinese casually, and we were laughing together at one point. I still remember some Chinese words these days, and I never told my parents about grandma teaching me.
I don't want to go back in time because I wouldn't have done anything differently anyway, but I just want her to still be around so I can make her proud.
I feel your pain I wish I had more time with my grandparents I loved them so much. I was able to connect with my grandma on my mom side before she passed visited her a few weekends before, and it was nice I got to talk to her before she fell into a comma
I'm 13 and my dad's 68, i don't know if I'd even see him when I'm past 25, he's not getting any younger and he's becoming sicker and more weaker. I don't think we've ever bonded or anything because i thought it was weird to have an old dad when i was still so young, we've never really had a proper conversation or a picture together, i never really bothered with anything to chat with him. But this video really gave me a wake up call. Although I'm supposed to be young and still wanting to play and stuff, i still do. But I'm sure I'm mature enough to try and bond with my dad.
man, you really made me want to see my great-grandfather. I meet and speak with him a few times a year, but this made me realise that its not enough. Thank you this is such a great massage.
13:30 Sheldon this video had an impact on me everything you’ve mentioned is relatable “sik ting m sik gong” describe every conversation I’ve had with relative and friends of my parents at the T&T supermarket and i feel deeply ashamed for that.
My (Abusive to put it lightly) father pased away in 2020 when i was 9 so i do miss him sorta but dont cry over it. Now fast forward to 2024 and my mom turned 50. Im worried about how long she will live by me since im only 13 right now when shes 50. I dont have much of a emotional connection with my grandma who has cancer right now so i will likely not cry about her when thinking of her but will miss her.
My mom is 45, and my dad is 46, but I feel like I can still sort of relate to this video.
My mom is around the same age too. I’m still really young but it’s sad to know someday she will pass away. However, it’s a part of life.
How your eyes turn red at the end of the video really conveys everything you mentioned during the entirety of the video. You have my deepest respect for sacrificing privacy and taking the time to spread such an important message which many people fail to realize over a considerable period of time. I can only wish this video goes out there to find more people and tell you that you may not have heard much more from your grandfather, however, this letter definitely was more than enough to let him go in peace. May he wait for you at the gates of heaven.
I am so glad you made this video. My dad passed away with just 48yrs out of nothing because of a brain tumor we didn´t know about. This was a shock as a 8yr old and since then I try my best to not take anything for granted and try to enjoy every little moment you have with family members and friends, because you don´t know how long you will have them... such a sweet story you even tried your best learning an entire language for your grandpa. It really, really warms my heart.