Want to Break Free from Suffering? How Intentions Hold You Back: The Case of the Miser's Regret

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  • Опубликовано: 28 дек 2024

Комментарии • 43

  • @DougsDharma
    @DougsDharma  2 месяца назад +1

    🧡 If you find benefit in my videos, consider supporting the channel by joining us on Patreon and get fun extras like exclusive livestreams, ad-free audio-only versions, and extensive show notes: www.patreon.com/dougsseculardharma 🙂
    📙 You can find my book here: books2read.com/buddhisthandbook

  • @LehlohonoloAlfred-rj7en
    @LehlohonoloAlfred-rj7en Месяц назад +23

    Hi Doug. I am a lay Buddhist from SA. Buddhism in South Africa is unknown. I don't know much about Buddhism myself. I have taken the 5 precepts and refuge. I am reading the suttas. I have learned a lot and I'm practicing the teachings. My favourite sutta is the Akkosa sutta. Your channel is very helpful. Thank you.

  • @joltee9317
    @joltee9317 Месяц назад +1

    The karmic consequences of being miserly in this story weren't clear to me at first. I couldnt see the connection between being miserly and not enjoying food, clothes, etc. Thanks for putting this into perspective. It makes psychological sense.

  • @naftalibendavid
    @naftalibendavid Месяц назад +2

    Thank you so much. Love the flexible and thoughtful approach. You’re the man!

  • @someoneelse6618
    @someoneelse6618 Месяц назад +2

    Sadhu sadhu sadhu;
    I appreciate you Doug and the time you take to make these lovely videos which are well made and informative!

  • @brimmedHat
    @brimmedHat Месяц назад +2

    Thank you Doug

  • @xiaomaozen
    @xiaomaozen Месяц назад +5

    Metta and peace from Germany! 🐱❤️🙏

  • @jamiedorsey4167
    @jamiedorsey4167 Месяц назад +2

    I'm in full agreement on the advice to not look back on generosity with regret or miserliness, so I don't want this to be disagreeable. Its just that I can imagine someone taking this advice and then not reflecting on how they are using their money. Some ways of being generous are more effective than others, and others could be enabling destructive behaviors.
    I'm just saying in an effort to not be miserly I think we need to be conscious that we don't also abandon an attitude of reflection and experimentation.

  • @emilykluge4459
    @emilykluge4459 27 дней назад +1

    Excellent ❤

  • @sonamtshering194
    @sonamtshering194 22 дня назад +1

    On a related note, I would say we have a tendency to second guess or regret the money we have spent on ourselves as well. For instance; I bought an expensive book and after reading it, I realized it wasn't as good as I thought and regretted that purchase thinking I should have bought another book or could have saved the sum of money spent on the book for a future use.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  22 дня назад +1

      This is true. I think there's a difference though between wise regret for a mistake we've made (perhaps we were too rash in our spending, or didn't take enough time to figure out what we really needed, for example), and miserly regret just for spending wealth on ourselves rather than keeping it piled up. The former can be skillful while the Buddha implies the latter isn't.

  • @Jimmy-jm1ol
    @Jimmy-jm1ol Месяц назад

    This is my biggest problem in life, and very relevant topic for the holidays. I think the theory is always easier said than done, because I deeply sympathize with those who do not want to be treated like doorsteps by other people or those who mistake generosity for weakness. Must be a test of the ego in play here.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  Месяц назад +1

      Yes, true generosity is grounded in strength, confidence, and compassion.

  • @ngodupdorjee2398
    @ngodupdorjee2398 Месяц назад

    Generosity is one of six perfections to be cultivated and achieved by practitioners, but to develop this quality, you have to have people, animals, etc, who are in need of help and assistance. Without them, we won't be able to practice kindness, generosity, etc.

  • @hooolllypickles5219
    @hooolllypickles5219 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you as always Doug 🙏

  • @thegoodnamesaretaken
    @thegoodnamesaretaken Месяц назад +2

    A miser is a person who is extremely reluctant to spend money, often to the point of forgoing basic comforts and necessities in order to save or hoard wealth. Misers are typically characterized by their excessive frugality and a strong desire to accumulate wealth, often at the expense of their own well-being or the well-being of others. The term is often used in a negative context to describe someone who is stingy or greedy.
    As a non-native speaker I didn't know the word. Live and learn 😃

  • @ryandepp7640
    @ryandepp7640 Месяц назад

    I’ve been watching your videos for some time and always in the back of my mind, as a Star Wars fan, I’ve noticed parallels between the lessons of the Buddha and the themes of the series. Particularly I think it’d be a great topic to analyze the tragedy of Darth Vader, and how our intentions and especially our attachments lead to karmic suffering and negative outcomes. A famous foreshadowing line from Yoda that reads “fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering” sounds like something directly inspired by the Twelve Links of Dependent Origination, no?
    There’s another scene from the animated series Star Wars: The Clone Wars where Yoda is tested and has to face the embodiment of his ego and darkness and learn to recognize it and overcome it. This seems to me very similar to the story of the Buddha defeating Mara.
    Could this be worth a look into?

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  Месяц назад +1

      It might be, I believe George Lucas was influenced by a lot of Japanese culture in the original movie, which was an homage to an Akira Kurosawa film. Many of the costumes were modeled on samurai armor. But I don't know enough about the specifics to do it justice.

  • @hhschrader8067
    @hhschrader8067 Месяц назад +1

    Generosity is in the first place and in a way nothing but a gift to yourself. If you do it for a purpose you will be disappointed because you will never know the true and complete results of your generosity. I experienced generosity from others in my life and it was (almost) never about the material enrichment but the good feeling it gave me. I would never try to know what my generosity meant, whether it was well-chosen, what the results of it were. This includes the question whether generosity improves my karma. If god loves me he will with or without generosity. I can not pay for his love.

  • @ShiWolfe
    @ShiWolfe Месяц назад +3

    I see my own personal generosity as a case of the selfish selfless person. I give money to homeless shelters in hopes that reduce my chances of getting mugged by a hungry homeless person later.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  Месяц назад

      Sure, this is a natural way to approach generosity. Something to reflect upon!

    • @johnmonk3381
      @johnmonk3381 Месяц назад

      Because of the interconnectedness of everything, all actions have consequences, both intended or unintended.

    • @Livewell-xgi
      @Livewell-xgi 7 дней назад

      I work with NGOs and I wish all donors thought like you! It just makes sense.

  • @archiekennedy4741
    @archiekennedy4741 Месяц назад +1

    His public generosity won him observable good results, but his covert regret had a negative impact on his subjective reality. Very interesting indeed! Is it just a fluke that his overt display won him overt benefits while his subjective regret caused private, subjective suffering?

  • @DamiDoria
    @DamiDoria Месяц назад +1

    ❤❤

  • @MassiveLib
    @MassiveLib Месяц назад +1

    "Who is suffering?" is a good place to start, but it's a dead end, because there is an assumption from the offset, a me! "What is suffering?" is a far better question, simply because it will lead you to ask the most important question. What is this "self" thing that thinks it thinks.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  Месяц назад

      Yes, other related questions the Buddha has us ask are, “Why is there suffering? Where does it come from and why?”

    • @MassiveLib
      @MassiveLib Месяц назад

      @DougsDharma suffering never happened to anyone ever, yet simultaneously it is happening to a me. How does one reconcile these two opposing actions. The only way I made sense of it is simply that they are both true, and not true.

    • @johnmonk3381
      @johnmonk3381 Месяц назад

      ​​@@MassiveLibEverything just is. If you stop branding people, things or actions as a set of opposite and discrete items but rather as a continuous stream of interlocking and interacting processes, then nothing is suffering or not suffering. Or nothing is true or untrue. Nothing is everything and everything is nothing. Everything the human mind has branded in this way becomes just a mind construct

    • @MassiveLib
      @MassiveLib Месяц назад

      @johnmonk3381 it is. And it isn't simultaneously. To come down on existence or non existence is the beginning of the error. 🙏

    • @johnmonk3381
      @johnmonk3381 Месяц назад

      @@MassiveLib i recently watched an excellent video touching on the point you raised. ruclips.net/video/ryZp2UOobP8/видео.htmlsi=837qzdkW_-eEuPzp

  • @InspiredByTao
    @InspiredByTao Месяц назад

    Hi Doug I love your channel. I solved the problem of suffering over 16 years ago and I believe you may find this interesting.
    I've found that the cause of my suffering was a dysregulated mind.
    Of course desires will lead to suffering, as will clinging to things. And not being able to accept what is.
    But everyone seems to have a strong ego identity which is often emotionally dysregulated.
    Because we are emotional beings we have trouble thinking rationally.
    Rational thinking is free from egoic thinking ( emotional thinking ), because it is free from the " me, my, I " thoughts of the DMN.
    The brain regions in the DMN are where the egoic thinking arises and prevents the mind shift into the ECN regions of the neocortex that allows for freedom from the thoughts colored with " me, my , I "
    My partner and I free our minds daily with morning meditation and exercises that calm the dysregulated emotional mind.
    We also intermittent fast and eat a natural foods low carb diet for brain and gut health.
    I'm heading off to bed now so I'll watch your video later. ❤
    Hope this helps, keep up the good work.

    • @stevenvaleriojr1177
      @stevenvaleriojr1177 Месяц назад +2

      @InspiredByTao I have to wonder, though, is claiming to have found THE answer not also an act of ego?
      To me, and this is just my interpretation, what you say is just a dressed up version of what we are already doing when we, as Buddhists, practice.
      When you let go of the egoic mind, when you realize there IS no "I, me, my" to cling, then there is nothing there to be dysregulated.
      There's a saying- "The Buddha taught 84,000 types of Dharma for the 84,000 types of people."
      So, it is fruitless to say "My way is right." or "Their way is wrong." Instead, what's happening right here and now in the moment? How can I help, here and now, without judgment.
      If if you are right, holding to that idea does not help others. Humans have a natural instinct to push back wheb they are told what they are doing wrong. Better to meet them where they are and move forward, slowly and carefully, from there, following the situation moment to moment.
      It's like working with people with addictions, it's far more helpful to talk about the choices they are making now and how well they arw doing, than to harp on the "poor" choices they made in the past and defining them by that.

  • @Sinjin3
    @Sinjin3 26 дней назад

    Making merit by giving to the modern day temple is vulgar.

  • @kevinkheroux3438
    @kevinkheroux3438 Месяц назад

    What's with the racist thumbnail?

    • @BenFletcher7530
      @BenFletcher7530 Месяц назад

      ... Pray tell, who is the thumbnail racist towards? White people? I assume you think it's antisemitic? It's a small-nosed, white-skinned caricature hovering over money. If you think depicting any human being hovering over money is antisemitic, that's on you!

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  Месяц назад

      Sorry? Don’t know what you mean.