How to Get Away With Murder

Transcript: How to get away with murder
You might have someone in your life you might dislike for any particular reason maybe they slighted you in some way, they took the last slice of cake that you were saving for dessert or you made a joke in a group of friends and then they repeated it but louder and got all the laughs. This video is going explain how to murder them whilst avoiding suspicion and ultimately jail. First things first you are going to need a victim. Heres one I prepared earlier. “Arghh I cant see a thing with these double eyepatches.” I found him littering on a beach and decided to do what the government wont to fix the issue of littering. “arghh free me you landlubber I have rights arghhh” A pirate in 2024 you might be wondering? Well its simply explained by the fact that the author of this youtube channel has a pretty limited vocal range and can only really do like 3 accents maybe 4 at a push. “id say that is a area to focus and improve on arghh maybe practice” “umm how about shut the fu” Clonk. Alright now that that is out of the way back to the video. Step 2 is the process of actually carrying out the deed, which is really more of a personal thing and can vary depending on reason for the murder, im not here to tell you how to swing an axe but in general less mess is best. Due to the youtube restrictions im just gonna have to give this guy a peanut and let his allergies take him. “argh I actually have a tree nut allergy not a peanut allergy” “wait you could have told me this before I bought this massive bag of peanuts what am I supposed to do with this now” “Arghh it be not my fault you have communication issues yarghh” “right bear with me folks we are having some technical issues”. Okay so I don’t actually have a way to off him for now but he agreed to just pretend for the remainder of the video so we can continue. So on to step 3 you need to make sure that any belongings or personal effects of the victim are collected and disposed of correctly. You don’t want the police knocking on your door 3 months later asking why they found some of your dna in a plastic bag full of a missing persons clothes. The ideal way to do this is burn the clothes and the body simultaneously and stage it to look like a gas leak explosion. However this is my house so that’s not gonna happen so instead we are going to bury him, ideally you would want to separate the limbs for easier transport. “Argh that hook literally cost me an arm and a leg you best not damage it or youll be hearing from my lawyer…… argh” “yea I was almost sure you weren’t going to say it then, also shush dead men don’t talk” So now you have your “body” in a transportable manner you would need to move them to the digging site which you want to be as remote as possible with no direct link back to you. So now we are at the site you need to set aside atleast the whole night to dig because heavy machinery is way too inconspicuous and a 6 foot hole takes a lot of digging. So you want to roll your body in and start covering it with dirt eventually you cover enough and then you can place a dead pet ontop as a diversion for police. The dead pet in a shallow grave above the victim is a good red herring as if it were to be dug up by police they may be thrown off thinking its just a pet grave. I don’t have a dead pet handy and no im not going to go skin the neighbourhood cat for a youtube video. If you didn’t know in the UK we have these birds called pheasants and they are literally the dumbest animals alive. You will be driving and then randomly they will run across the road into your car for no reason at all. I bet they do it on purpose just to piss people off playing a game of chicken but the goal is to lose. “Stevo I bet you wont run across the road when this car comes up” “You sure about that lad” “I bet you 10 pounds” “You’ve got a..” “FREEDOM” “What Gary doing now the mad lad” “mate you owe gary 10£” “aye”. So now you have successfully murdered and covered up your crime you should be ready… “ argh im still alive” “Huuuh” If im going to be honest with you all im not actually that good at being a murderer it all goes back to the time I was working with the shark mafia as an executioner. “Next time you will pay to don Luciano his debts. Now you're sleeping with the fishes. “hey Stu did you get rid of that guy hey what's going.

[@flyingtoast1996]

FINALLY a content creator who shares educational content with actual practical use in our daily lives. If only they taught us that in school...

[@whatisgoingonherebruh1]

In the USA, they do teach about murder in schools once or twice a month

[@EKEKEKEKE714]

@@whatisgoingonherebruh1smart joke

[@whatisgoingonherebruh1]

@@EKEKEKEKE714 Thanks virgin

[@deerman6541]

Step 1: become OJ Simpson

[@til_hundesohn4382]

if the glove dont fit u aint got shit.

[@sampanchishin1087]

This guy clearly doesn't smoke crack, what a nerd

[@TankFerretPresents]

We all know that only cowards don't smoke crack

[@revupthosefryers9177]

yall cowards dont even smoke crack

[@antiarezzo7630]

Viper quote? ​@@TankFerretPresents

[@Jackentasche-j4d]

@@antiarezzo7630we not making it out of the garage with this one

[@Shiptoast0]

​@@Jackentasche-j4dviper did nothing wrong man nothing wrong whatsoever, she was just jealous of his crackstack

[@nikolaswassmer8249]

“Pretty anticlimactic way to end the video” as if he doesn’t already end his videos as anticlimactically as possible with the “…bye” 😂

[@stupiditiusmaximus]

Stoic Stick shares another useful tutorial which I will soon test out

[@v84l42]

but you are a roadman, how can you be bad at murder

[@StoicStick]

RUclips videos are incriminating and stu is on probation so he doesnt want to snitch on himself

[@zentavithan4689]

Thank you for this great information I shall keep tour ideas in mind for somewhere later in life.

[@zentavithan4689]

Your*

[@OGMartyMooseMilitia]

bro, you're what gradea thinks he is. ive been binging your stuff all day. easily new fave youtuber. cheers.

[@silenthawkstudios9924]

We going on a watchlist with this one boys

[@shreklol960]

finally a family friendly youtuber

[@datu257]

thank you i needed this video so much

[@leom6624]

Its so obvious you killed someone and now want to make it seem as if you were bad at murder

[@elshebactm6769]

🚬🗿

[@Kiddo5010]

Yes

[@EPIKURIBOH242]

true sigma male. put's the lit part of the cigar in his mouth 🗿

[@ninjakiwigames5418]

Going on an FBI list with this one

[@icezak4964]

this video felt so off topic... i dont even know why...
also youve gained a new subscriber! your vids rock xd

[@remakefreddy9170]

Fantastic! Will be trying this out. Another excellent tutorial.

[@user-jf6jv8fj6x]

stoik stik.

[@fuecOHKO]

Finally, a useful video.

[@InternetUgly]

How is this still up, I love it

[@leogovgdt]

thanks bro, really useful! you just earned a sub! :)

[@ericmoore117]

I wonder why this has low views. Great video

[@again5t.your53lf6]

No body no crime 🗣🗣🗣

[@kaibobsterburton2703]

Forgot the lime on the body

[@MonkeyComrnando]

well sharks have to swim to breathe so you actually did a good job

[@DragonMasterRH]

Nerd 🤓 👆👆

[@MonkeyComrnando]

@@DragonMasterRH yes

[@RainZe236]

The bird is scouse lmaooooooooo😂😂😂

[@TDAbiber]

I love that this video is just a schizo rambling lmao
Relatable

[@wattiespotatoes6401]

can we have a gooning tutorial mousier stick

[@sw1mmerdude]

Have pheasants in Nebraska

[@NoLiesJustFacts]

What is the name of the background music?

[@chanshichabwe7256]

😂 thanks honestly

[@pauline9572]

Second

[@weatheredge3213]

first

[@frostystoneman3273]

😂

[@SootyPhoenix]

Kêk.

[@aaronscrivener7124]

You are Stoicists from Doom-Damnations-&-Diablo-Damnations-&-Chaos-Damnations