Laws that wouldn't be the worst thing to implement in airports/airplanes
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
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And if a morbidly obese couple is absent, one would be provided for them
YES
@Allergy 😂
@Allergy if it isn't just take 2 random people to act as the couple.
@Allergy oh I thought you were one of them
@@ZachStarHimself Is US
Need a law for the small child that kicks my seat the ENTIRE flight
You should be legally allowed to threaten that child with a horrible death if he continues. If he continues, you should be allowed to publicly execute this threat, so every other child and parent on the plane will learn the lesson
I am proposing that, for every time he kicks your seat you are legally allowed to add 1 brass ring to your hand and then clock them in the jaw once for every year he has lived. If you do not have brass rings, some will be provided for you. If the child continues you are legally allowed to take his parent's luggage or sweatshirt and zip it on his balls for an entire minute.
Execute order 66
@@starwarsandmore7327 YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!
@@starwarsandmore7327 I
These laws really should be normalised all over the world.
I hope you can prove that was an ironic usage of the word or you will lose access to electricity on Tuesdays
Damnit.
I took 3 minutes too long to type this.
😂
I also request that people writing normalized with an "s", in their rightful utilisation, loose acces to electricity on 1 WE each time it is done. 🙃
You now have no power in your house on Tuesdays
@@qrowbr4874 "loose"
And normalise isn't even wrong
Considering I have an international flight in less than 12 hours, I completely agree with these laws.
this video came out as i was getting on a plane lol
good luck, and you better be in line rn
don't forget to bring a baseball bat with you too
Same, Have a flight soon in less than 24 hours.
How’d it go?
Seriously I am going to die of laughter if I see a passenger going through a TSA checkpoint with a wiffle ball bat.
Best I can do is a steel toe boot.
you won't see them because they know "one would be provided to you"💀
One that is checking his watch every time someone starts packing their stuff
Gotta love how he actually waited 37 seconds to give that guy what he deserved
otherwise he may have lost that lawsuit, good thing those high res photos proved him innocent
And the video is 8 minutes and 37 seconds long
It was legally required and worth it
nah im pretty sure bro have him a whole 5 extra seconds
do keep in mind though there are people who have actually never been to an airport before, like there is a first time
Always love the law creation types of vids, but nice take with actually showing the effects of the laws this time!
thank you
It is kinda weird that the laws take effect in a specific amount of time, why not 45 seconds instead of 37? Or 30 seconds? You have two good options but NoOoo! You pick a strange amount of seconds right in between! WHY!?
Actually, there was one in the one on noisy upstairs neighbors
Actually we use the word "normalize" in Databases too. And i love to talk about databases in the plane
And in Pokémon
Ah yes, discussion of the intricacies of Boyce-Codd normal form with a stranger is just what I need in an airplane.
That would count as part of science as a computer science
Still science tho
@Sniper I'm pretty sure the audio usage is the same thing as one of the mathematical usages
My only complaint with these laws would be, that there are some laws missing. Like what and whom am i allowed to break something if my luggage "took the wrong flight" or if the person in the frontseat leans too far back or the abolut madness of too small legspace. We need more laws!
Great video as always. I really love your humor!
Sounds like a part 2 is needed to me.
For the lost luggage, I'd say that allowing the one with lost luggage to hit all those involved with the losing of the luggage 5 times for ever £50 of lost luggage with either a tire iron or baseball bat, in either the side, balls or head.
@@cookiecraze1310 and for every Dollar in between these 50$ its a backhandslap like in the great Movie 'The Slap 2'.
I think that would be fair!
@@michaeltomasicchio6895 i hope so!
@@jojom.9545 so all in favor of this new law
Recently took a severe testicular wiffleball beating for my 38.5 second conveyor time at the airport. Needless to say, the fact that I am in a wheelchair is not an excuse for my lack of urgency, however the punishment felt somewhat redundant.
So that's how wiffleball is spelled
if you are in a wheelchair and a none wheelchair person takes longer than 30 seconds the wheelchair person can hit them twice as many times with the bat of their choosing.
I'd be screwed too due to autism, motorical dysfunction an a visual disability.
That being said I do agree with these reasonable terms and take my upcoming punishment with honor and dignity.
I usually don't comment on how funny a skit is, but this sort of "series" is on another level.
Thank you!
@@ZachStarHimself himself?
@@someonenotme8821 probably.
They say it helps the creator with the algorithms so it is usually the only reason I comment on youtube otherwise I know 99.999999999999999999999% of my comments nobody wants to read them and out of those 99.999999999999999%+ of people stood ignore, don't care, dislike, or rather I don't waste the comment section with my bad, stupid, dumb, unhelpful, wrong, or unfunny comment.
@@blackhawk8920 so let me get this straight. You wrote 10^23 comments and exactly 1 of them was good? doing some quick math, RUclips was started in 2005 and you said this in 2022, which is approximately 5x10^8 seconds, or 5x10^17 nanoseconds. Therefore you've averaged a rate of about 200,000 comments per nanosecond and you're wondering why nobody wants to read them? I think I found your answer: you post too many by at least 7 per hour. Also how is this the first time I've ran into you and your average of 100 trillion comments per video.
OK but what about laws for when the luggage handlers damage my luggage? Shouldn't I be allowed to take approximately 10-20 pounds of their property from their house for every square inch of destroyed or damaged property caused by him or her?
Edit: and if he or her can not give up those items whether it be refusal, successful guilt-tripping, or lack of items, they are legally required to buy you something that is 20 times better than the item previously destructed, for example: if the handler destroys/damages your ps5, they are legally required to buy you a ps6 as soon as it comes out.
In my experience, most people tend to overpack cheap ass suitcases that are already falling apart, then try to blame the ramp agents for it. TSA is a thing. The 150+ other people with the same idea as you are a thing. Try loading 200+ bags in a B737 cargo bin, hunched over to fit in the 3.5' high space in 50m.
I just tore the handle off a suitcase having exerted, maybe, 30Lbs of force on it today while unloading a flight. The screws holding it to the plastic body of it simply stripped out their holes and the handle (and luggage tag with it) came off.
@@ryanpayne7707 excuses, excuses...
@Ryan Payne: I feel you, dude. I used to work for American Airlines as a fleet service agent.
@@TrainMaster5097 I'm actually working for AAL at BWI.
I would say this is a double edged sword.
If you want your stuff to be very carefully handled, the wait times for boarding, takeoff, and leaving the airport will increase dramatically.
This made me realise that it actually wouldn't be a bad idea to have another airport security section specifically for people who have actually never been to an airport before. They'd have extra employers there to guide the whole process, and anyone that doesn't know what they're doing can just go there. So that everyone else can go through the normal security sections faster. And if people there still take more than 37 seconds to put their shit on the conveyor belt, you can legally hit them in the balls with a weapon of choice.
These laws are tough, but fair. I'd like to include a law that covers when a check-in attendant wanders away from their station just after you've stepped up and put your bags down. They should have to pay for your flight, and bump you up to first class.
Why do they do that 😭 the worst part is when make eye contact and still ignore people. Not even giving an excuse
@@Ashmaryarose I would be fine if they just said "Sorry, this window is closing." Instead, I have lost my place in the queue and have no idea if they are returning.
And anyone who they've inconvienced by doing this is allowed to hit them in the balls... with a wiffleball bat.
@@TheUrbanGaze That's fine. All we ask is that you acknowledge us. A quick, "I'm sorry, I need to attend to something for a few minutes." is a simple courtesy.
@@TheUrbanGaze If there is a sign that says "please wait to be called", then of course you have a point. But without it, you're insisting upon some unspoken contract the other party is unaware of.
Yes I believe if you place your **shit** on the conveyor belt at the airport, the punishment should be quite severe.
If you place your shit (or used enema nozzles) anywhere but the toilet (or trash,) the punishment should be quite severe. (Ask me where I got that from. -signed, airport ramp agent.)
Basically shit is metaphorical in this sense. My shit means my stuffb
"What if its a kid? tooth fairy's coming early this year" I spat out my drink laughing that was so funny
“What if it’s a kid?”
“Tooth Fairy is coming early this year.”
Jesus Christ lol these law creation videos are always awesome.
*The funny thing is:* the boarding system itself is stupid, like why on earth zone 1 goes first? It will be way better if zone 4 enters first then the first-class at the end.
It is also more luxurious for the first-class to be the last people to board.
Edit: Grammar correction
There is a cool video on this you can find on youtube, most effective ends up being similar but it basically tries to get the most people entering their seats at the same time, so you actually need some people from earlier in the plane to enter towards the start as well
I agree about it being better to board last. Why would anyone want to board first?! It’s just more time stuck sitting in tight quarters with people crawling over and around you lol. I always wait til the very end to board, and the only downside is that sometimes the overhead bins don’t have much space left
there is a video "The Better Boarding Method Airlines Won't Use" by CGP Grey which explains the most efficient methods but i think the conculsion was something along the lines that airlines wouldnt be able to monetize priority boarding or smth
It’s because the rich people might run out of their precious overhead bin space and have to put their bag under their feet but if you don’t have a carryon or it’s small hell yeah board last every time
I'd think first class don't mind waiting in the plane, they are in first class after all.
I would like to submit a proposed law: If you're driving in front of me on a 2-lane road and you drive at 45 MPH in a 65-MPH no-passing zone, but then you speed up to 80 when we get to a passing zone, and then you slow back down to 45 once we're past the passing zone, I am allowed to tie you to a table and slowly drip a gallon of jalapeno juice into your eyes over the course of several days. If I don't have a table, appropriate restraints, or a gallon of jalapeno juice, one or more of these items will be provided.
agreed.
Agreed
And so it becomes law...
Yep. Agreed that sucks. So what if the speed limit is 65, go 80. And if someone is going like 20 miles under. I would like the option to set their car on fire. Unless a decent reason could be provided for the slow speed
can we also do something about the blinding headlights? great, that person can see into the future : nobody coming the other way, or anyone in front of them with a rear view mirror set wrong, can see shit. The proposal : i get to shine an industrial laser into their eyes for 5 seconds. if i don't have an industrial laser, one will be provided for me
I agree with everything except for the window seat one. I understand the sentiment but if you like darkness so much, why don’t you bring a sleeping mask? It’s not every day that you get to see the sunrise from a plane.
Yep, sounds like it's their problem not being able to sleep in well lit areas. Heck, in some airlines you can ask the attendants for some *shit* to put over your eyes to sleep.
Yesssss. If the sun is shining and you’re trying to sleep, that’s your problem
I'm pretty sure the sunrise looks the same on the plane as it does on the ground. Be considerate.
@@voidfroze Not if I can help it. I will make it the world’s problem. I will kill the fucking sun itself.
EXACTLY
Even without the sunrise, it's still an awesome to see everything from high up
As a frequent flyer you're really speaking to my heart with this one
I would like to suggest an amendment to the opening law that it should be Wednesday instead of Tuesday that the power is cut as if they care about the Marvel and/or Star Wars shows on Disney+ they will miss the airing of a new episode and risk being spoiled
Honey, nobody's watching any of that.....
@@DerrickRG except maybe the people who use "normalize" improperly 🤔
Loved how this was basically 3 skits in one
as a pilot this video and the last one top tier, I do know some people who can help get these laws implemented
Hard no on the Window seat one. Why would I ever close the window on an awesome plane sunrise if the dude can't even be bothered to speak up about being bothered?
There is very litter difference between airplane and ground with one notable thing; on the ground their are more gasses in the way and thus you get more diverse light spectrum. Thus the sunrise and sunset is actually objectively BETTER on the ground.
Also, if you want to see it so bad, then lean forward to block the sunrays. If others want to see it they will ask you. It is polite to maintain cabin ambient light, and to simply not wake your aisle mates.
When did people get so self absorbed they think it is a requirement for people to speak up about not liking something? It is for YOU to not be selfish and not create discomfort for others.
@@Nempo13 because it's a terrible way to live. Living in constant fear of inconveniencing others sucks. You want shit? Speak up. Even if you think common sense or it's worse or something, it could be someones first flight and they simply don't know, and want to experience seeing something like a sunrise while flying.
@Nempo13 just get the damn window seat if you care about it so much. Some people (me) really enjoy looking out the window and find it depressing when it's super dark in the plane. Get over yourself and get a sleeping mask
Counter point. You don’t need your teeth when feeding tubes exist.
These are clearly brilliant, breakthrough ideas with no flaws whatsoever. If I may, I would like to suggest we add more laws pertaining to how we (the paying customers who don't waste anyone else's time) are allowed to retaliate if the TSA gives us an unnecessary amount of trouble. My suggestion is this: if the TSA pulls me aside for repeated checks even though I have proven myself to not be a security risk on previous flights, I should be allowed to ignore the next TSA agent who talks to me and loudly proclaim: "I've got a bom...
*_bastic tale to tell you all!_* and not be charged with any sort of crime.
😆
Tooth fairy line was the best line of the skit, I just didn't see it coming and it was so well delivered.
Man, I usually agree with all the laws in your video, but window seat controls the window. That's absolute. You wanna take a nap? Take a sleeping mask with you.
Nah bro. No way. It's nobody's fault it's your first flight and you want to look at clouds, and even if that's the case: open the window cover, take your fucking photo, and cover it again. Don't be an animal
I’m with window guy. Let’s be real, if you’re sleeping on a plane ride shorter then three hours you’re probably an ass
This!
@@kas1680 isle seat gets the extra space from having nothing next to them, middle seat gets two arm rests and window seat gets a window. It's not about watching clouds or taking pictures, it's about having some natural light when you're stuck in a metal box for hours.
@kas1680 And it's nobody's fault YOU didn't choose the window seat. Person at the window seat calls the shots, like it or not.
I absolutely love both the law making and effects of said laws in one video. Amazing.
Person 2: Sir, where’s all your luggage?
Person 1: oh I held up the line for a few seconds while boarding the plane so I had to give it all away
4:10 I disagree. I paid extra to reserve the window seat. I'm going to keep it open and watch the landscape as much as I want.
The crossover we didn’t know we needed, but we all loved
The funny thing is that this is so specific that it must be an actual experience. Meaning he was so peeved about it that he made an entire RUclips video 😂
People: “Airport lines are so long! And I hate waiting for my airplane to come. Ugh! Why is it always so slow!”
Also people: 4:39
devil casually announcing “for the love of god”
The "one will be provided" had me laughing. The aftermath of his life was a nice touch.
I think exceptions and adjustments should be made for elderly, disabled, young, and in certain cases short people. Aside from that though these laws are a bit brutal but totally agreeable.
Yeah, my grandma and mom both have disabilities that severely impact mobility so exceptions for disabilities are a must- and extra staff who can help them!
Motion denied. 😐
If you take more than 90 seconds to put your shit on the conveyor belt, those behind are legally obligated to challenge you to a duel to the death. If either combatant doesn't have an epee, one will be provided for them.
These rules are a little aggressive....
...but totally fair in hindsight.
3:58 okkaaaayyyy but I paid for that window seat so I can look outside. It's not my obligation to keep the entire plane pitch black when it's literally past 5:30 in the morning: a normal time to wake up
I personally think most laws could be improved if they simply included a whiffle ball bat 😌
Person did you get the surgery?
Trans man: yes
Person: what did it cost
Trans man: getting hit in the balls with a frying pan.
I love how we actually go through the aftermath of the laws getting made. Love little stories like that
4:20 This is actually what Marbury vs Madison says, you are using precedent correctly.
Hey, some of us get severe anxiety in line with folks on line _watching_ us. Anxiety can lead to fumbling and dropping your Nintendo DS into the bin with the shoes and when you bend over to get it your hair gets caught in the rolly thingies and you start panicking and no one will help you because you're flying alone and mom has already left the airport and why the hell did she let her socially anxious child fly alone anyway?
So basically what we need are laws against morons doing moronic things like it's their first time ever stepping outside. Yeah I don't want to demoralize anyone but the struggle against Stupid is a very long-standing one and we haven't managed to overcome it yet. We common sense people are vastly outnumbered. It just doesn't occur to everyone else that if we could somehow solve this ONE issue, so many other problems would just solve themselves.
Suicide rates been real quiet since this dropped
It should be illegal to have an airplane in flight occupy the same space as a skyscraper at any point in time.
Love how we went from the legislature to the airport to court to heaven to hell
I love how characters are just casually aware of the specific worst parts of hell.
Everybody gangsta until the free shit turns out to be a laptop bomb which the TSA let pass because if the bomb was in the laptop, there is no way you can use the laptop to search on how to make a bomb but this time evil zach is rich and used a second laptop and is then thrown off of the plane and ran to safety as per the laws.
Lmao
“What if it’s a kid?”
*“Tooth fairy’s coming early this year”*
3:48 nah man, i only get to be on a plane so often, I'm keeping the window open, buy a night mask bitch it's like $3
The sound of the wiffleball bat hitting that man’s balls at 5:13 is just so perfect
I love how personal this issue seems to be for Zach, I can just feel the extreme hate
Love the implication that hell is an airport
The intrance to hell is an airport
I think if someone is holding every one else up at the airport, they should immediately be escorted of the premises, and be put on the no fly list.
7:20 the way he stayed the “no drive list?” Is so good it really sounds so confused
How about “you’re allowed to pass whoever is taking an obnoxiously long time in security”? That’s what I let people do if they’re done before me.
Me being on a plane 3 times and gets amazed looking out the window *frantically looking for bats and flashlights*
Thing is, I've never been to an airport because im afraid the plane will crash. Also because i hear stories about airport security and I dont want to deal with that
As a pilot, it would take a LOT to crash a plane. There hasn't been a plane crash in several years, and there's several million car crashes a year.
Most plane crashes, on the EXTREME rare chance they happen, are actually almost not fatal.
0:59 Uhm, you could still hit them in the taco. The taco shell doesn't have to be hard to still hurt, you know? Come on... Save the taxpayers *_SOME_* money, geez!
Thanks for this video! I have an international flight coming up in a few weeks and I will endeavor not to break any of these "laws".
Every time I thought that the video was about to end it just kept going. More like this please.
Slight issue with the first law mentioned, there should be a change to where using normalize in reference to the niche Pokémon ability does not incur the penalty.
0:37 is also a proof of concept for the fact that the numbers 37 or 73 are the most probable numbers to be named when asked for a random two-digit number
I’m not sure we should normalize the use of wiffle ball bats…
Why is the power off all of a sudden?
As a person who is mildly claustrophobic, I keep the window shutter open, because it kinda helps me breathe. Now if you got a problem with it - I don't actually care. I'm trying not to choke over here.
Sounds like a skill issue
@@aidanomahony5390 it's really not. Medical condition
Why would the power be cut off on Tuesdays? Is this so that they can't enjoy Taco Tuesday?
A lot of things update digitally on Tuesday. This is due to Mondays being used to handle things that go wrong on the weekend, or any last minute changes for the suits. Thus any updates happen on Tuesday. Some have moved releases to Wed just to be different.
please do more of these again, they’re the best
How he managed to keep me watching for 8 mins is wonderful
What about for people like me who have only been to the airport twice in their life and can only remember their second time so they would not have the skill of getting their stuff quickly onto the thing?
Laws shall still apply
@@italianmenace Then I shall be protesting to the courts to appeal such laws. When laws are unfair there are laws to make sure the unfair laws no longer exist
@jamesplayzreviews I don’t make the laws, I just follow them
whiffle ball bat
When he said “lifetime supply of popcorn” I felt that
If you’re wondering time stamp is 6:20
The God cameo is everything
I found this quite funny all throughout but I just want to say some of us really struggle with being focused sometimes and actually genuinely don't know how to do things in an effective way, like fr regardless of how simple and obvious it is for you. I actually struggle with being stressed out about these things. I have this assumption most of the time that everyone knows how to "properly" do something except me and everyone is thinking about how slowly and weirdly I do something and are annoyed at how much I inconvenience them. It's one part of why I enjoy being alone. So although this video is funny and I think a lot of us can relate to getting annoyed at someone like this in various situations and then being humorous like that in their imagination - please do keep in mind that some people really struggle with these simple and obvious things and really don't want to inconvenience anyone.
You're getting the bat.
🤣
Bro...it's not that deep.
Don't ever fly again, or else the bat will make sure you never do
Everyone probably is thinking about how frustrating it is that you can't do simple tasks efficiently. Maybe work on that.
bro got brutalized
I have an idea: if somebody has loose change on their pockets, the change must be thrown in the trash
This is highly inaccurate. Actual Legislatures will never be this productive. Fact checked by me, your everyday Citizen. 👍
I have a suspicion that this may have written during a frustrating plane trip.
I watch zachs videos for the "I know"
Im 6 seconds into this video, and im crying.
My pokemon romhack run has a lopunny with normalize :(
0:58 transmascs: it’s free real estate
meanwhile post-op transfems: 💀
Bro went through all of that in one plane ride and then thought "I have the perfect video idea."
At first I'm like 37 seconds isn't that long. Then I remembered that every flight I've been on, I see the line in front of me, I see what people are doing, and I prep my shit so when I step up to the conveyer belt my shoes are unlaced, I've got my laptop half out and belt unbuckled, so I'm waiting for the person in front to go through the metal detector, not being a jackass holding up people.
I'm not socially nervous, you are!
I feel something similar in the self check at the supermarket, like "I have 2 items, I do this in less than a minute, how the fuck did you waste 10 minutes with one item"
me watching this while sitting in an airport: "thus is the law and it shall be applied"
Should they be busted for violating the SIDA once they've been thrown out the emergency exit, too?
I'll be honest, this is the funniest content I've seen in ages. I was unable to eat lunch during this
0:27 is it really that common to go on planes? ive only gone to an airport 3 (or 6 technically) times, and one was before i remember existing.
As much as I know if there's a parent in abroad then you would travelling much more than normally . Otherwise you should be moderately rich to travel frequently but yea it's not that common to travel through flights
the end scene 😂😂😂😂 goodness this is why i love zach so much
2:36 CGPGrey would like to have a word
For the first one that is kinda unfair for children who are going on the plane for the first time
I can tell Zach just flew somewhere and made this video (and the previous one) because he hated the experience
I love that this combined a few different skit series together!
so I work customer service in an airport. For a couple months I took turns giving directions at the security controls (I was basically the person telling you "please use machine number 4, no you don't have to take off your shoes, yes you have to take off your belt")
you have no idea how many people got pissed because they couldn't stay on the phone to finish their super important conversation while going through security. Like 30% of questions were "do I have to put my phone in the tray too?"
So if you feel like making more airport laws I would only be delighted to help. Like seriously half of the people going through airports really shouldn't reproduce.
I love how God is the only person who talks normally in this entire skit
what was on your laptop at 6:43
A scene from 'the happening', look up 'the happening construction site scene'.
Also, you hit the nail on the head with the Someone against common sense case 😂
People who can't get their stuff on the conveyor belt in time should be required to check 100% of their luggage on all future flights regardless of airline. No carry-on items what-so-ever, not even a jacket. We can call it the TSA' s 'No Carry-on List'. After a second offense, they we not be allowed to wear a belt and the only shoes they can wear are flip-flops, regardless of geographical location or destination.
Aye.
Imagine society collapses and this is the last record of our legal code. Our descendents will wonder how our society collapsed with such based and practical laws 😂
Heretic! lol
I propose to amend the proposition that begins with “If you take more than 76 seconds” by inserting the words “next to” before “last row”, and inserting “There will also be a hyperactive child that kicks the back of your chair for the entire flight” at the end of the proposal. All in favor say “Aye”
Aye
Aye
And so it becomes law.
I feel like this was recorded in the Airport while staring at people slowly handling luggage.