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Also, I’m going to start using that clarifier, “not to blame shame, just to explain.”

Great open, conversation ! I love how open you both are to model what & how you both are looking/attempting/working on healing through. You both seem to really be attempting to implement change & model it, showing anyone watching that we sure don’t have to be all “healed & perfect” to begin to have these conversations. Wonderful follow up to the conversation you had with Tim…. What a beautiful example of how to converse & share esp. when it comes to addressing the hard stuff, the programming, the exposures that make us tick as people & what we bring to relationships…this is my second podcast from ya’ll & I look forward to going through your other conversations. Please keep these wonderfully open conversations coming!

#blessed #hope

I absolutely loved the information shared in this video. Thank to all of you for bringing this precious chat around narcissism, codependency and complex trauma. Just wow ❤

Thanks for your videos. It feels like I have two very open and relatable friends having a conversation in the background, at my house, and I hope your channel grows!

No I am not co depending any more ok 0:27

I tell everyone about the ACEs test now. My score is a 7? I think. And I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 27 with a lot of my symptoms in my hips and legs (the hips are considered the seat of the soul/where emotions are stored) in Ayurvedic medicine which I find interesting. There’s a woman on FB reels who was diagnosed with a chronic illness (similar to MS) that believes that processing her trauma is leading to her healing in her body. Brains are neuro plastic and can form alternate pathways. I also read “the body keeps the score” which kind of discusses some of this

Reassigning meaning - reframing it

This is so my life from now all the way back to 5 or 3 years old, probably 1 day old. Now though laws make it so a wife can unload onto her husband all her stuff as well.

Absolutely excellent interview!!! 10 out of 10

I've been married for 20 years. Haven't heard an "I'm sorry" more than once or twice. Not sure I can stay married like this. She's not changing, she just doubles down on being ungrateful

#what? 😂😂😂

My life experiences were similarly to yours. Caused a lot of pain to myself, wife and family. Until i began becoming aware. Everything started to make sense. Now i am on the journey of healing and healing wounded relationships as far as possible.

He told me "that thing" that I didn't know was a problem, BUT, I trusted him, knew he loved me, and would never say something that would hurt me intentionally. Result? Iistened...and changed with help! He passed some years ago. I'm grateful he helped me HEAL!

Truth. And GRATEFUL.

I’m trying to see how this works. I can see it for my wife but not for myself. How funny how that works. The blind spots. I’ll have to reflect on this one.

Yes. I’m here for it. 👏 👏 👏

Sorry to be a creeper with all the comments but you two are hilarious 😂

Can we discuss getting “squirreled” or has this already been discussed somewhere? 😆 I’m glad one of y’all (Steph) can remember where the conversation was going before getting sidetracked because I get SO EASILY distracted. 😂

Yessss Steph! I can relate to the negative self talk. My thoughts make it ten times bigger when someone is coming down on me. I like the mantra idea

Such great stuff! 👏 🫶

When Craig said even if you violate his boundaries I will forgive you 😢🙌 damn. Same. That’s unconditional love right?

I talked to my husband about a similar situation we had months ago, after listening to this episode. I love all of this. I found myself trying to book him something the other day too 😂 ran it by him and he didn’t like it 😂. But now he says if he goes anywhere overnight he would want me to go with him so he isn’t bored after a couple hours. So relatable.

Dumbest gotcha I’ve ever heard. Do you know how that energy got to your EV? It came through a power cable Do you know how the energy got to the ice car. It was dragged by a bigger ICE burning more fuel. Play that game up the chain and the efficiency argument works out in favour of the EV Suggestions to the contrary are not born out by the facts. And you’re either stupid or a liar maybe even both to keep making the claim.

Anyone else see how wonderful it is to have both male and female sides to this convo? (Both codependent sides conversing about the same path to healing) We can digest what information works for us as an individual. One is tactile (very physical) and the other analytical at it’s core. The way it then rounds out the communication about codependent mental states is very helpful. I have to be able to see both sides to feel “safe” moving fwd through trauma spaces. It allows me to know I’m making a choice that is valid and well evaluated. These conversations do that for many of us.

The thing wasn't a problem in the beginning . So, no, the thing isn't changing.

What if it's not one thing but literally 300 things? And you've addressed 100 of them completely, and 150 of them partially? But you still hear about the 200 all the time? Still only the mans fault?

Interesting. When men do this in their relationships. Their toxic but when women do its because they care. Is that how it works. What💩💩💩... NB shaming tactics dont work on me!!! Get red pilled gentlemen.

Thank you for your wonderful podcast

It's so helpful that you flesh this out in the moment. Great exampling on how to do so while regulating and honoring each other's perspective. Thankyou so much, both of you, for sharing your vulnerability. Beautiful teaching through demonstration. Ty. This is very helpful

Nah its just naggin. Get a better women.

I drink too much.

I love how honest and open you both are. The way you all talk through the daily challenges in relationships, processing through them and giving examples is very helpful. Very relatable and insightful. Thank you for this.

Huh???

Using the word bitching about it is disrespectful.

One hour sixteen you see how Narcissistically ABUSED this woman is. Sad.

Omgosh, every day with my husband. I get the “stop nagging” line, but I’m just asking for a little respect. Don’t throw your dirty underwear in the sink. Don’t flip on the light and slam doors in the morning when EVERYONE else is still sleeping. Wipe the spaghetti sauce off your hands before opening the cabinets and fridge. 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

25:20 and suddenly you see the truth

Gen Xers think we are so tough - drinking from the garden hose, out of the house from 9am to sundown and we thought it was freedom. Our central nervous system understood that we are a generation of NEGLECTED kids as our parents had unprocessed, unrecognized, unacknowledged and certainly undealt with trauma themselves. The Boomers will tell you “well, we just toughened up and got on with it.” No they didn’t. They just shat it onto their kids and told their kids to toughen up… do this generation after generation and now we have kids cutting off parents and I’ll add - the rise of autism, in my opinion, is a result of consistent low grade trauma over generations - made manifest.

Hands up if you were your mother’s emotional caretakers as a child?

I have noticed a lot of these “RELATIONSHIP Podcasrs” we BARELY hear from the NON NARCISSISTIC partner (the woman)!!!!!

Tim Fletcher and React is one of the best programs in healing from CPTSD . I turned my therapist group onto Tim’s work. And I make sure to let everyone I know who is working on healing about the videos on RUclips. Thank you Tim Fletcher for you kindness and willingness to do the hard work.

Yes tim is greatest depth like he meats you were your at heres terrific. Just crazy about what he says next

Thank you , very good to hear my perspective reflected . and the Narzisst is not the bad person. Everyone can heal ! When they start to see there pattern . Was a very good watch. Thanks I love your volubility Good example thank you I like the cough sign 😊

I grew up with pretty extreme abuse - sadistic Psychopath father (into kids) and covert narc mother. But, being Autistic, I always saw through their ruse and found it mind blowing that others didn't. I guess it's the result of being more individualistic naturally and less driven towards social homogeneity. I'm grateful for that, but life is very hard with Neurodivergence and CPTSD, especially with chronic illness and invisible physical disability. Itd be interesting to hear theories about how my people adapt lolol

Almost 40 mins and havent heard a word from Steph. ...An observation.

This is my mom. She went as far as calling me a bad mom to my son. We haven't spoken for over a month. All because I told her not to talk to me like that. She tried to beat me up, she pulled my braids. I fought back and scratched her arms.

I was married for 25 years before my husband passed. I can tell you from experience that if you are not mature enough to sit down and have a conversation then you were not mature enough to be married. There are lots of things that irritated me about my husband, just like there were a lot of things about me that irritated my husband. We sat down and talked about those things and the things that irritated me about him. He loved me enough to work on those just like I loved him enough to work on my problems. Saying this I do have to put in. If you are throwing a fit over something that truly is petty, then shame on you. Same goes with your s o.

This is my life😂 so I’m a co-narc? Makes sense! Thank you! Ok wow

I'm Screwed