What's Really Happening When You're Being Judgmental?

Are you the type of person who often finds yourself being judgmental of your partner? Or perhaps overly critical of the world around you?
On today’s episode, Steph and Craig delve into the difference between healthy discernment and judgment. They explore how your responses often come from an activated place when you're judging or criticizing and you're usually guilty of the same things you're judging.
Steph shares a recent, eye-opening experience where she realized she was guilty of the very behavior she was judging in others. Together, they examine the roles of shame, avoidance, and deflection in your behaviors, and discuss the importance of taking responsibility for your actions and sitting with the discomfort of your mistakes.
The conversation highlights the necessity of addressing judgment in relationships and its impact on personal growth. Steph and Craig touch on the influence of childhood experiences and how shame shapes behavior.
Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of self-awareness and the willingness to confront and heal from judgment and shame.
Tune in to gain valuable insights into managing criticism, fostering healthier relationships, and enhancing your personal growth journey.
Connect with Steph & Craig:
Watch the episodes on RUclips- / @stephandcraig
Follow Steph & Craig on Facebook- / stephandcraig
Steph & Craig on Instagram- / steph.and.craig
Steph & Craig on TikTok- / stephandcraig
Sign up for Steph & Craig’s newsletter- www.stephandcraig.co/
Disclaimer:
We’re just sharing our journey with you. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Cool? Good deal. We’ll see you soon.
In this episode:
00:00 The Dance of Judgment in Relationships
03:28 Differentiating Between Judgment and Discernment
08:01 Recognizing the Reflection in External Judgment
13:15 The Role of Fear and Shame in Judgment
37:06 Exploring the Manifestations of Judgment
38:00 Taking Responsibility and Confronting Mistakes
41:43 Addressing Judgment in Relationships
44:23 The Influence of Childhood Experiences
50:15 The Importance of Self-Awareness and Healing
Expect the best. Plan for the greatest.

[@amberm5626]

Very good discussion. Thank you. From my understanding, the internalized shame from parents who couldn't hold their own is equivalent to toxic shame. I've been unpacking it for a while now. It can be very difficult. I've been learning about owning what is mine and trying hard to let go of what is not. I've also been in company of people who use the "well I'm just a terrible person " type of situation which I find frustrating because it's like they are expressing how they interpreted it, not what I said and then I want to jump into making them feel better. It's a terrible and exhausting cycle.

[@stephandcraig]

Thanks for watching. I really like that take on toxic shame. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏼