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Orange color of insanity, Hungary' s president. Yes, exactly. 😂

I would suggest negotiating PTO if it's important to the person.

Wait where is the fan art going?

SOOooo appreciate this topic and how self reflective and forthright you both are. Right now I’m in a very similar position to what Caroline described her smarty pants published author sister, but visual artist. The lack of stability/need for benefits drains my creative energy into a pool of anxiety. I just need to muster the acceptance of going for a day job and apply! It’s heartening to hear that others - who are smart, etc - go through this. Also, im seeing a new therapist and this was way more helpful 💕

from one former front end developer to another... i totally understand everything 😂 i went to school for this, i made this my career for 8 ywars before I stopped and had two children. now every time i apply to jobs, im like "please dont give me an interview" which makes zero sense, but i have no clue what other jobs id even apply for at this point

Worst thing, is to compare ourselves and our careers and 'where we are' to others. I've made this mistake. I've also been in the position where people want my job and are gunning for it, sabotaging me in the process. It's always good to keep your own council at work, only divulge things to a trusted friend outside the industry and outside of the circle, but there too, be careful, because 'friends' can be 'frenemies'. Chat GPT is a really good resource. So glad you mentioned that. The grass ain't always greener. Maybe we feel stuck because it's a sign we're not paying attention to something personal, and it's not even related to our professional career. I appreciate your workshopping these dilemmas, and I love that you don't shy away from tough topics.

Orange lights in the bedroom! Yes it looks weird, but it really helps my brain register "oohh sunset! Sleepy time!". And I mean orange. Not warm lights. Orange bulbs. No caffeine, tea also might help!

I'm currently going through this and gearing to return to a day job and just got myself to this mindset, I'm going back to that life not because I want to, but right now, its a disservice to me and my small business and i AM excited to return back and have a peace of mind with finances. This podcast and conversation really helped me feel normal

Ugh, I had to do the post-interview lunch too. And yes, it was SO awkward as it was clear to both of us that I wasn't getting hired, but he was just doing it because he had to. It was the closest I had ever come to a blind date in my life. The food was good, though.

Girly pop posting this right when I‘m trying to decide whether to go to law school or not 😩

Caroline's Lalala plays in my head when I'm bored 😂

Are there church bells throughout most of the video? 😂

Where was the pigeon attack!? I'm a pigeon fan and was waiting with baited breath...

@Caroline, please drop the link for the super comfy emotional support slippers - I wore through the soles [souls!😢¿?]of my emotional support slippers after 8 beautiful years together, and I need a new pair before the impending winter! 🧡

I so relate to the "I don't dream of labor" person. I'm in the same spot. The job is ok, pays ok, is not very stressful, and I'm not micro-managed. It's not my dream job - I don't have one. I don't know what I'd like to be doing. Doing something I'm "meh" about for 40hrs/a week still gets me down sometimes. I think about changing careers, but I have no clue what I'd like to do and I don't think working for another corporation would make it better. I try to count my blessings; I know people have it way worse. So, I'm just continuing the same path, even though it's not a path I enjoy.

What is the couch? Please?

Finnally a video interaction podcast! Hate only audio

Caroline pled the fifth on a job interview. That is some funny stuff.

When I went on Zoloft, I had dreams of explosions that shot me up in the middle of the night. Definitely within the first couple weeks of adjustment, but it ended up giving me anxiety and I switched to Lexapro - in case that helps anyone with similar issues - do what works! 😊😊

Botox for feet! Brilliant! I suffer from freezing cold feet due to sweaty feet in winter too. I always take three pair skiing.

the adjustment phase! so well said. i recently went through this with a friend. yesterday it felt like we both graduated from that phase. she opened up to me about some personal things but i feel like she tried to do so in a way that respected my boundaries because i think ive slowly and kind of decreitly but sucessfully made my boundaries clear. I then could respond in a way where i was fully receptive and it was even easier to 'stay in my self'. it felt like a beautiful turning of a page into a much more balanced friendship.

Yes. Museum fatique and library fatique. 😅

I enjoyed every moment! What a smart, funny, thoughtful person! Caroline! Funny and soft hearted. Xxx

or worst instead of worse

big win on the non-emotional dufficult convo. that's huge... so freeing!

The videos about how Caroline found true love are so phenomenal, I'm so disappointed that they didn't go viral. About "oversharing", there is no way that an outsider can know what is going on in a relationship following a couple on any kind of social platform, let alone just one of them, including RUclips, you can just hear what the person you're following wants to tell you and it's on you how you are going to interpret it, but it is just your interpretation. I like that you emphasized that the main parts remained unrevealed. But your story, it deserves to become a movie, new Notting Hill or something ❤

Why is it that insomniacs always end up dating morning people? I am married to a morning person and I am insomniac myself

Adhd-er here. Emotional support slippers are such a vibe. I have seperate indoor and outdoor ones in different colours (light = indoor, dark = outdoor) because I don't want to track nasties in. They're those puffy rubber Asian ones you see people wearing with socks 😬

I had face on face as a kid, I thought my big brother was so funny and found myself laughing like him, like I was channelling him in funny moments, it was trippy and, for want of a better word, enriching

We are all living the same life 😂😭😭 I always get face on my face with actresses or public figures if I’ve been exposed to them a lot

What to do about friend poachers? I met this girl a while back and we really connected and had deep conversations. I thought wow I made a good friend. I introduced her to my friends and I was also supportive of her goals she was an engineer but got into life coaching. Then she started to kind of poach a friend from me and get weird in group hangouts by trying to be friends with my friends more than me. I invited her to a workout I'd do with a friend and she would start posting selfies with my friend as if they were bffs which I thought was bizarre and trying to show she had this awesome life on sms for her social media but I knew in real life she didn't. I also was teaching a yoga class at a place and then she went there to ask to teach something about her life coaching too. I felt like she was encroaching on my space so I ended the friendship, but it also messed with my friendship with the other friend. I'm wondering if there are ways maybe to slowly gauge new people and how to choose when to integrate them into different parts of your life or not. I'm pretty open and tend to invite others and want people to be included but not everyone does that or sometimes they take advantage of it.

I do my own nails and it looks manicured. Takes 15 minutes every 10 days and they look great, no appointments, I do it my way, free, meditative…. As far as beauty regime? None. Eye shadow used as shadow and liner and that’s it. Shave every two weeks, I don’t wash my hair (it’s a thing), and I eat healthy. That’s it. Zero effort. I did ALL of the things as a teen, now almost nothing and look and feel just as good, saving LOADS of time and great for travel!

Age is also different in different countries. Lived in Europe for a long time, and guys 10 years younger were the same maturity and intelligence as me. In the US, 10 years older than me is the same maturity as me.🤓

I Live in Memphis! While I totally empathize with the being weirded out by the Ads, I will say that there is so much funds that are poured into family housing as well. A lot of children are in these hospitals for months/years at a time and they have a lot of interactive housing, parks, and other facilities that are safe for these kids and so that their families don’t go bankrupt by staying in hotels! No hate to y’all, but that costs a lot of money. They have recently built another housing area and are always constantly expanding because there is still a need for more of these kids to be treated at St. Jude’s. I also have a lot of friends that are nurses on various floors of St. Jude’s and one research scientist and they give the highest of praises to St. Jude’s and that there is a lot of the funds that are poured into the quality of care and facilities there at the hospital. Regardless of how much the C-Suite people are paid, which probably is way too much, I will say that you can see the positive affects of the fundraising when you are physically there. ❤

Love this dialogue. Adult and so normal and informative!

❤

Magnesium definitely helps for better sleep. Especially for those with ADHD. I take it every night ever since I was on the Pill years ago and realised the foot cramps were from msg deficiency. About 5 years ago realised the Pill strips you of mag and creates deficiency. Went off Pill back then and body still has the deficiency, but with ADHD I also need to supplement the magnesium.

Jessica, yes I have felt face on my face

I have face on my face all of the time. Like i literally feel like the other person for a second while saying or doing something a person i know does

If you are the friend of someone who wants to, or is getting out of a bad relationship, acknowledge and be proud of them for opening up to you, you’re probably going to hear some horror stories from them for the first time. It takes a lot of guts. Recognise that it may take a few years for them to actually leave due to a variety of factors, kids, health, a pandemic, financial or just wanting to sit with their decision. They will probably want to start researching the problems in their marriage (like their partners bad habits that may have been hidden the whole marriage or how their e.g. drinking has affected them and their family). It took me 4 months to say the leave and divorce words out loud to myself let alone someone else. Then they may want to get their head together so they’re not dealing with how their mental health has been damaged in the relationship, to set up boundaries and sort out what they’ll need and want in the next chapter of their lives, where they’ll live etc., and come up with a plan B if they need to leave sooner. They may have to slowly buy stuff and save up for the divorce in that time. I found I had to deal with issues while married, divorce negotiation has its own nightmare issues to deal with and then there’s a different healing and recovery after you’re single or single with kids. My judgy friends and family were saying your lawyers will look after you (mine didn’t and ripped me off, I went through 2 lots) so trust your instincts as not every lawyer is right for you and most importantly the f&f say “You’re out of the relationship now, so why are you still stuck and not moving on?” Ugh. Last thing you want to hear when you’ve put in so much work to get to where you are and it’s possible to grow a spine and be depressed at the same time. They miss the part where you’re right where you need to be dealing with completely uprooting your life, lifestyle, social environment and healing and they should be proud of you even if you’re still struggling with some things and sometimes it’s one thing after another but who doesn’t have one thing come up after another? Take care of you. ❤

Jess!! What you described about Ryan’s sleep was my exact experience for yeeears. Turns out I have sleep apnea! I’m young and healthy, and don’t snore loudly, so sleep apnea can easily go unnoticed to partners. Definitely recommend he do a sleep test if possible. It def wouldn’t hurt!! Best of luck 🌷

Before I left my ex I tested just how much he wanted me in his life. He failed miserably and I realised that there wasn’t any point in why the hell I put so much time and effort into pleasing the narcissist. I was only his personal assistant and his figurative emotional punching bag. That’s when I’d learnt about trauma bonding and within 3 weeks, about 80-90% of the physical pain in my body and muscle strains left my body brought on by the stress of pleasing him. Now I pay a lot of attention to what pain I have in my body and love doing NET therapy to address it. It’s completely changed my life.

Coming out of 32yrs of a horror marriage I’ve needed to get into my own headspace, quieten the narcissist’s voice in my head, be my own, make my own choices and be by myself. So friends and family lectured me about going out and date, join clubs and do new hobbies and the old ones, do this, do that. I was judged for not wanting to do any of that, just paint my home to make it a beautiful environment for me and reset my mind and soul with peace and not talk about all the bad stuff (just with the mental health professionals). I had to cut myself off from everyone (except MHPs) and it’s been great for me and I love my room makeovers. Trusting your gut over people you’ve known for decades is still the best thing if they’re all giving you the SAME lecture. You know who you are and what you want in life. Sure you may make mistakes but they’re yours to make, just like they will make their own. Standing up for yourself is hard enough and I now can’t deal with people who don’t want me to change and be my true self. I need to be me first, be comfortable with me and expressing myself and creating boundaries before letting others into my life so I can give the best of me to them and myself.

Wowsers! When you’re going through depression, the last thing you need is multiple friends and family tell you, “You should do this, you should do that..” a dozen times over everyday and they’re keeping you on the phone for 1-2hrs per day and not actually listening when you’re saying I am doing x,y,z and can’t do this because of a,b,c. I had this for months before leaving my long term marriage to a narcissist and they weren’t even factoring in the narc factor and how he’d react. I was prepping in secret so that was an added hurdle. What it does is really make you feel like you’re not being listened to and trying to get you to second guess your intuition, what you need and even in your total vulnerability, you’re not living up to their standards and in THEIR time frame. Then they can’t deal with you making your own decisions and being excited about those decisions. They’re used to you acting a certain way while you’re being emotionally abused and now you are fighting to verbalise your own wants and needs and they don’t like the new you (the one that’s always been knocked down and hidden). All they want is a friend who will listen and encourage them, not judge them.

I feel like we’re in that commercial of “you’re turning into your parents”… is it Geico?

Face on face feels like a chameleon thing. Not the narcissist kind, the survival kind. You like a mannerism someone does so you adopt it.

Mirror neurons

Jess, yes! Only not so much face for me. It's an embodiment. It happens most with my mom where BAM I'm her in her body all of a sudden doing or saying the thing and i have to do a double take to realize I'm myself and I'm not all of a sudden my mom.

My dad (66) is a bad sleeper, too. I'm really worried he'll develop sever dementia the older he gets. He started taking Magnesium closer to his bedtime and it has improved his quality/quantity of sleep. Good sleep is really important for your brain to rest and reset. I worry that being ok with insomnia is not ok. Please try taking Magnesium if you are an adult struggling with sleep.

Face on my face is absolutely a thing! I made a face yesterday that made go OMG I am my brother right now lol