The dog conversation was actually VERY validating. I had this realization the other day that dog ownership and narcissism are very compatible (I’m not saying all dog owners are narcissists - I’ve had 2 dogs myself), but my ex never walked our dog when she had to go out (he thought it was cute/funny how frantic she would get trying to indicate she needed to go out). It always pissed me off so much, but my ex was a narcissist and sadly you can abuse and mistreat dogs, and they’ll love you no matter what (which is perfect for narcissists, like my ex). Long story short… I’ve always felt a lot of guilt over whether my dog was bored or sad or lonely. I tried to take her on as many long walks a day as I could and would feel bad if they had to be shorter because I needed to work (for example). Dog ownership is a lot of work and not something to take lightly… and too many people have dogs and shouldn’t. Another hot take I have … a flaming hot one… is that a lot of people are replacing dogs with healthy human interaction and bonds. Your dog should not be your primary source of emotional support. I know ppl will hate that take… but I truly think we’re in an increasingly troublesome social epidemic (?) (idk what to call it) but we all need more human interactions!
Dogs usually sleep 12-14 hours a day. Puppies up to 20. I have a boxer and she hangs out with me all day on the couch near my desk. We have a yard buts she’s like the Little Mermaid - she wants to be where the people are. I let her outside to go bark at the gate at least 4 times a day (busy street for suburbs). And we take fresh air breaks and go throw a ball or play tug with her outside during the day. Hubby takes her to the dog park 2 or 3 times a week as well so she gets to run around off leash and play with other dogs. 5pm every day she demands play time (very playful and intelligent breed). If she is bored she’ll come put her head on my left arm and that’s when we go play outside for a bit. Actually helps me to take breaks and get fresh air.
Totally!! My dog looves other dogs and plays and romps around off leash at the dog park, so I feel like Jess & Caroline’s opinions would change if they observed really social dogs interacting.
Consumerism creeps UP on you. I was raised to be very suspicious of it and was always a big saver as a kid (saved up allowance money for at least one year if not two or three before finally choosing to make a purchase), but I fell into the trap of thinking online shopping through thredup was fine just because it was better than, say, shein. Now I realize that the only way to truly make my wardrobe sustainable but also reflect my style is 1. identify something I don't actually wear to donate/recycle in exchange for buying something else 2. actually try it on physically so I can feel the fabric, texture, see it on my figure, etc (I will never return something by mail so that means I truly have to do it at physical stores) 3. Confirm it's something I literally need (say, underwear) or deeply love (for me, usually very whimsical yet practical stuff, like a long dress). If I'm not sure if I deeply love it or only think I do, I ask "does it have pockets? Do I have to iron it?" and go from there. Even then I'm not going to abide by all those rules perfectly, so when I do see that brand online that it's been calling to me, I only allow myself to buy the item if I've genuinely been haunted by it for six months or more
Oooh! On spending - Hannah Louis Poston speaks and spent most of her early youtube career exploring her shopping addiction. She talks a lot about wanting to want something. I've really enjoyed her videos.
Talking about planning spendings: when I started the simplest gsheet with expenses and average income and I filled in 12 months of the year, I could see how any new perchance changes my final "saved" number and start thinking maybe i don't need it.. and also I can see how much I think I spend and how much i actually do (and spoiler: it's not what I thought I would, thanks to planning fallacy)
I liked the fashion & consumption topic. It’s a hard topic because it basically sucks the fun out of things we used to enjoy, but just keep in mind the bigger picture, that we don’t have to go ham! And be easy on ourselves. Just buying less is a happy middleground for me. Plus, even before I found out about all this (decline of company standards), I used to feel bad when I’d get in this cycle of buying things just to declutter in 6 months, and hated that it all felt so disposable to me?
I just stopped buying those foods I would binge & if I realllyyyy wanted it, I have to get up, drive & buy it at the store, then I can have it. That usually stops me 😂 Also, I live in the desert in CA. Temperatures can go up to 112 & people have their huskies & pit bulls outside all day! I’ll never understand it.
I had a chocolate allergies problem, so now I'm buying lots of dark chocolate. It's not only not restricted but also not so tasty for me in comparison to milk chocolate, so yeah, its working and last years have been easy. Now I'm covering cookies 😂
I don’t think you’re just projecting your human needs onto them, Caroline. I believe your perceptions are onto something. Every living being desires freedom, and humans have a misconception about how much space they actually need. We look at their size and think, “Yes, my apartment is fine,” but this simple math doesn’t take into account their need for freedom of movement, choice, and action. We underestimate them-every bit of that word’s meaning. A puppy might need care without its mother, but what about adults? Adult dogs, cats, and other “pets” need to move as much as we do. They are as curious about the world as we are. We assume that this desire is an evolved trait unique to humans, but it’s actually fundamental to all living beings. Imagine if your parents never allowed you to leave the house, and you were 30 years old, unable to go out because “bad things could happen to you.” What would that be called? That’s often the argument we use when confronted with the morality of the situation. We fail to see the harm we cause, blinded by ignorance, not recognizing that this relationship benefits us excessively at the expense of their freedom.
Came here for the comments - your hot takes today were 🔥! I hope you get the camo cap and wear it proudly. I’m sure it was scary dipping your toe into political territory but I’m so glad you didn’t edit that out. How about a Whatado about what’s at stake in this election?
I do agree with the whole dog abusing part, but the big-city-small-apartment-big-dogs are not the abused kind. It’s the suburban backyard dog that is the most abused. Because for a dog whether you have a small apartment or a large home with a backyard does not matter - it’s all a dog house, used for rest, sleep and cuddles. And for the most part, when people decide to get a working/active dog in the city they put in the work, they research, they take the time to give the dog the exercise they need. And the exercise is only partially physical, for the most part it’s the intellectual stimulation they need - THE SMELLS. And walk in the city is like a carnival of smells. And they get it every time they go for even a quick pee. However the backyard dogs? They pee (usually) where they live, they can run around all day (so they are ALLEGEDLY getting the exercise) and usually get what? 1 walk a day? Owners of backyard dogs get lazy pretty easily and neglect the intellectual needs they have. Ever walked down suburban road and got violently barked at by a dog running frantically along the fence? That was a dog that was bored to death.
Are white people not supposed to say habibi? It's like everyone can do everything but god forbid a white person does. I don't like how it's okay to be anti-white these days.. Like there's no way you could have said that comment about any other ethnicity without getting hated on. Before anyone gets defensive about it I'm an immigrant and I really think it's a problem here in the U.S. with people blaming everything on white people and not taking a more nuanced look at history. All people do dumb and crazy shit! This just struck a nerve because I hear it so often and it's annoying and hypocritical.
When it comes to the dog hot take, I think it's important to realize humans have bred these animals into existence for our benefit. They exist with no way to rely on themselves, which was extremely selfish of us. I'm against breeding of animals altogether (yes even ones we exploit and kill for food), but if you are rescuing an animal from a shelter, at least you're giving them a better life than just being in a cage all day. I love dogs, but if even one has to suffer due to us humans, I'd rather they weren't brought into existence in the first place (the modern dog, not their wild ancestors). This is because humans show time and time again that they are not capable of truly taking care of these vulnerable animals 😩
Okay not to sound absolutely insane, but I feel like the consumer culture is soooooo nasty and wasteful these days that just seeing people buy non-necessities literally gives me the ick lmaoo
This dog conversation was truly a bummer. So many dogs are in overcrowded kill shelters. Prejudging city dogs when you do not truly know the situation is judgmental and honestly harmful.
Yeah it was very disappointing lol. Humans are responsible for the domestication of these animals and they cannot survive without us. We need to be encouraging more people to adopt and not worry about whether their home is large enough for a dog. Even a studio apartment is better than life in a cage or on the street. Mind you, apartment city dogs get more walks and exercise on average since backyard owners tend to just let the dog out into the backyard for potty, and apartment dogs also spend more time in close encounters with their humans (which is by far the thing dogs crave the most).
As someone who has a large dog and cat and is IS home all day-I AGREE! I was literally telling my husband two days ago like how could we have our pets if we both worked in office all day?! that’s so cruel 😩 just accept that you don’t have time/the lifestyle to responsibly have a pet, and I even have a senior dog who sleeps ALOT I can’t imagine having a young dog and leaving them most of the day.
"Do better" is a lot like "check your privilege". A phrase thar may have once been effective, yet now is used to be snotty towards a fellow human in a socially acceptable manner. It is very "yay I found somoeone doing awful, so I finally get to release the pressure of moral perfection by being a jerk while still looking like a good person!"
Totally agree with the dog conversation. I would never have the guts to say it to anyone, but unless you work from home all day, or you live on a farm where they can be outside roaming around and doing dog stuff, it’s so immoral to have a dog. We have a senior cat, and people think it’s ridiculous that I bring her to my parent’s house to cat-sit when I’m away. THEY ARE LIVING BEINGS! They deserve consistent love and attention, and to be physically active. If you are leaving your dog in a crate all day, you are abusing them. Period.
I would attentively listen to Caroline go into the depths of her eating disorder experience for another 85 hours. I am SO passionate about eating disorder/body dysmorphia recovery and how, when it comes down to brass tacks, you pretty much are on your own when it comes to fully coming to a sustainable life-long approach to healing.
Bedding! My partner and I sleep on a king-size bed with a fitted sheet and we each have our own comforters - it's the BEST! He sleeps hot, I sleep cold so we have different needs when it comes to bedding. We can still snuggle up but when it's time to sleep we have our own zones and everybody's happy.
Thank you for talking about food restrictions as taboo now!!! I don’t eat things I’m allergic to, things that upset my stomach, or foods that literally cause cancer (bacon- and alcohol!!). Why is it bad for me to restrict ultra-processed foods that are literally engineered to be hyper palatable and addictive and trigger my Binge Eating Disorder. It’s just not worth eating those things for me because they serve zero nutritional benefits and I am incapable of eating them in moderation. How is that bad??? How is that not intuitive eating??? Everyone on the internet- including nutritionists- seem to think you need to eat donuts to be eating intuitively, but that has actually led to me gaining over 100lbs and feeling like I was suffocating under my own weight whenever I lied down. Obesity is not the answer. I say that as a joke, but it’s also true. Rant over. I love you both ❤
The sour candy is SOOOO relatable. I keep it for special occasions only--like on road trips or when I go to the movies. cause otherwise I just would eat it everyday lol
My unwanted two cents on Jess’. hat situation: I recommend getting either the Habbibi or the bar one. The political one is a little trendy now and it may not be relevant for years to come so you will probably declutter that sooner than the others.
I have an interview rec or collab on style. Daria from Wonder Wardrobe. She has a RUclips channel and I love her philosophy and approach to style. She's also into sustainable style so could be an informative interview.
I love y'all like sisters. -- I think the Democratic party has been running on very superficial platforms for the past few elections, to the detriment of issues of very high importance, including foreign policy, the healtth of the economy, and homeland security. As a former Bernie voter, I voted for Trump in 2020 and will again this year. -- I also love & respect dogs way too much to keep a dog in my apartment. The pod continues to be the song of my people. Xoxo.
We just moved to Portland and the dogs go everywhere! All the brunch spots have patios for the dogs to come along 🥰 our dog loves it here more than she loved being out in the country getting ticks and being hot
The dog conversation was actually VERY validating. I had this realization the other day that dog ownership and narcissism are very compatible (I’m not saying all dog owners are narcissists - I’ve had 2 dogs myself), but my ex never walked our dog when she had to go out (he thought it was cute/funny how frantic she would get trying to indicate she needed to go out). It always pissed me off so much, but my ex was a narcissist and sadly you can abuse and mistreat dogs, and they’ll love you no matter what (which is perfect for narcissists, like my ex).
Long story short… I’ve always felt a lot of guilt over whether my dog was bored or sad or lonely. I tried to take her on as many long walks a day as I could and would feel bad if they had to be shorter because I needed to work (for example).
Dog ownership is a lot of work and not something to take lightly… and too many people have dogs and shouldn’t.
Another hot take I have … a flaming hot one… is that a lot of people are replacing dogs with healthy human interaction and bonds. Your dog should not be your primary source of emotional support. I know ppl will hate that take… but I truly think we’re in an increasingly troublesome social epidemic (?) (idk what to call it) but we all need more human interactions!
Dogs usually sleep 12-14 hours a day. Puppies up to 20. I have a boxer and she hangs out with me all day on the couch near my desk. We have a yard buts she’s like the Little Mermaid - she wants to be where the people are. I let her outside to go bark at the gate at least 4 times a day (busy street for suburbs). And we take fresh air breaks and go throw a ball or play tug with her outside during the day. Hubby takes her to the dog park 2 or 3 times a week as well so she gets to run around off leash and play with other dogs. 5pm every day she demands play time (very playful and intelligent breed). If she is bored she’ll come put her head on my left arm and that’s when we go play outside for a bit. Actually helps me to take breaks and get fresh air.
Totally!! My dog looves other dogs and plays and romps around off leash at the dog park, so I feel like Jess & Caroline’s opinions would change if they observed really social dogs interacting.
@44:07 It’s like, you want to find a person you can “do life together” with. That phrase (“do life together”) is corny as hell but I do think it fits.
51:40 because “it’s 5:00 somewhere “! That means it’s officially evening, this you can have a cocktail!
OMG hahahha I commented this before I got to the later section of the podcast where you actually reference this phrase. Hahahaha
Phrases that annoy me: “do better” “touch grass” “adulting” “cry harder”
They actually make me viscerally angry. 🤬
Consumerism creeps UP on you. I was raised to be very suspicious of it and was always a big saver as a kid (saved up allowance money for at least one year if not two or three before finally choosing to make a purchase), but I fell into the trap of thinking online shopping through thredup was fine just because it was better than, say, shein. Now I realize that the only way to truly make my wardrobe sustainable but also reflect my style is 1. identify something I don't actually wear to donate/recycle in exchange for buying something else 2. actually try it on physically so I can feel the fabric, texture, see it on my figure, etc (I will never return something by mail so that means I truly have to do it at physical stores) 3. Confirm it's something I literally need (say, underwear) or deeply love (for me, usually very whimsical yet practical stuff, like a long dress). If I'm not sure if I deeply love it or only think I do, I ask "does it have pockets? Do I have to iron it?" and go from there. Even then I'm not going to abide by all those rules perfectly, so when I do see that brand online that it's been calling to me, I only allow myself to buy the item if I've genuinely been haunted by it for six months or more
Oooh! On spending - Hannah Louis Poston speaks and spent most of her early youtube career exploring her shopping addiction. She talks a lot about wanting to want something. I've really enjoyed her videos.
Todays episode truly not for everyone - dog mom
Talking about planning spendings: when I started the simplest gsheet with expenses and average income and I filled in 12 months of the year, I could see how any new perchance changes my final "saved" number and start thinking maybe i don't need it.. and also I can see how much I think I spend and how much i actually do (and spoiler: it's not what I thought I would, thanks to planning fallacy)
I want more of the silly Caroline that was coming out at the end!
A study was done and Women are actually very sensitive to clutter in comparison to men.
If I buy the maxipack, I eat the maxipack 😂 But so happy that does the trick for you, Jess! Whatever works, we’re all wired a bit different.
I liked the fashion & consumption topic. It’s a hard topic because it basically sucks the fun out of things we used to enjoy, but just keep in mind the bigger picture, that we don’t have to go ham! And be easy on ourselves. Just buying less is a happy middleground for me. Plus, even before I found out about all this (decline of company standards), I used to feel bad when I’d get in this cycle of buying things just to declutter in 6 months, and hated that it all felt so disposable to me?
This was my favorite episode yet. Bravo, my friends, very brat.
I just stopped buying those foods I would binge & if I realllyyyy wanted it, I have to get up, drive & buy it at the store, then I can have it. That usually stops me 😂 Also, I live in the desert in CA. Temperatures can go up to 112 & people have their huskies & pit bulls outside all day! I’ll never understand it.
I had a chocolate allergies problem, so now I'm buying lots of dark chocolate. It's not only not restricted but also not so tasty for me in comparison to milk chocolate, so yeah, its working and last years have been easy. Now I'm covering cookies 😂
i feel caroline would love Apple (brat)
The country is hanging on these eyebrows 😂
I got my eyebrow pencil at Sephora this week too. Threw in a brow gel 🫠
Whaaa that video popped up for me earlier (clothing quality)
Also clothes were significantly more expensive in the 80s. If I could have afforded more clothes back then, I definitely would have bought them.
I don’t think you’re just projecting your human needs onto them, Caroline. I believe your perceptions are onto something. Every living being desires freedom, and humans have a misconception about how much space they actually need. We look at their size and think, “Yes, my apartment is fine,” but this simple math doesn’t take into account their need for freedom of movement, choice, and action. We underestimate them-every bit of that word’s meaning. A puppy might need care without its mother, but what about adults? Adult dogs, cats, and other “pets” need to move as much as we do. They are as curious about the world as we are. We assume that this desire is an evolved trait unique to humans, but it’s actually fundamental to all living beings. Imagine if your parents never allowed you to leave the house, and you were 30 years old, unable to go out because “bad things could happen to you.” What would that be called? That’s often the argument we use when confronted with the morality of the situation. We fail to see the harm we cause, blinded by ignorance, not recognizing that this relationship benefits us excessively at the expense of their freedom.
Came here for the comments - your hot takes today were 🔥!
I hope you get the camo cap and wear it proudly. I’m sure it was scary dipping your toe into political territory but I’m so glad you didn’t edit that out. How about a Whatado about what’s at stake in this election?
The millennials hyped Charlie xcx so that gen z could be brats 🖤
I do agree with the whole dog abusing part, but the big-city-small-apartment-big-dogs are not the abused kind. It’s the suburban backyard dog that is the most abused. Because for a dog whether you have a small apartment or a large home with a backyard does not matter - it’s all a dog house, used for rest, sleep and cuddles. And for the most part, when people decide to get a working/active dog in the city they put in the work, they research, they take the time to give the dog the exercise they need. And the exercise is only partially physical, for the most part it’s the intellectual stimulation they need - THE SMELLS. And walk in the city is like a carnival of smells. And they get it every time they go for even a quick pee. However the backyard dogs? They pee (usually) where they live, they can run around all day (so they are ALLEGEDLY getting the exercise) and usually get what? 1 walk a day? Owners of backyard dogs get lazy pretty easily and neglect the intellectual needs they have. Ever walked down suburban road and got violently barked at by a dog running frantically along the fence? That was a dog that was bored to death.
Are white people not supposed to say habibi? It's like everyone can do everything but god forbid a white person does. I don't like how it's okay to be anti-white these days.. Like there's no way you could have said that comment about any other ethnicity without getting hated on. Before anyone gets defensive about it I'm an immigrant and I really think it's a problem here in the U.S. with people blaming everything on white people and not taking a more nuanced look at history. All people do dumb and crazy shit! This just struck a nerve because I hear it so often and it's annoying and hypocritical.
This looks like you! @Caroline_Winkler
When it comes to the dog hot take, I think it's important to realize humans have bred these animals into existence for our benefit. They exist with no way to rely on themselves, which was extremely selfish of us.
I'm against breeding of animals altogether (yes even ones we exploit and kill for food), but if you are rescuing an animal from a shelter, at least you're giving them a better life than just being in a cage all day.
I love dogs, but if even one has to suffer due to us humans, I'd rather they weren't brought into existence in the first place (the modern dog, not their wild ancestors). This is because humans show time and time again that they are not capable of truly taking care of these vulnerable animals 😩
Okay not to sound absolutely insane, but I feel like the consumer culture is soooooo nasty and wasteful these days that just seeing people buy non-necessities literally gives me the ick lmaoo
This dog conversation was truly a bummer. So many dogs are in overcrowded kill shelters. Prejudging city dogs when you do not truly know the situation is judgmental and honestly harmful.
Yeah it was very disappointing lol. Humans are responsible for the domestication of these animals and they cannot survive without us. We need to be encouraging more people to adopt and not worry about whether their home is large enough for a dog. Even a studio apartment is better than life in a cage or on the street. Mind you, apartment city dogs get more walks and exercise on average since backyard owners tend to just let the dog out into the backyard for potty, and apartment dogs also spend more time in close encounters with their humans (which is by far the thing dogs crave the most).
"it's a medical need!" as someone who has filled in her brows before being brought to the the ER, I concur
Um unpopular opinion I do miss your eye contact since like my only relationships are para social 😂
I also hate phrases that are babyish. Menty-b. Yuck.
As someone who has a large dog and cat and is IS home all day-I AGREE! I was literally telling my husband two days ago like how could we have our pets if we both worked in office all day?! that’s so cruel 😩 just accept that you don’t have time/the lifestyle to responsibly have a pet, and I even have a senior dog who sleeps ALOT I can’t imagine having a young dog and leaving them most of the day.
"Do better" is a lot like "check your privilege". A phrase thar may have once been effective, yet now is used to be snotty towards a fellow human in a socially acceptable manner.
It is very "yay I found somoeone doing awful, so I finally get to release the pressure of moral perfection by being a jerk while still looking like a good person!"
Totally agree with the dog conversation. I would never have the guts to say it to anyone, but unless you work from home all day, or you live on a farm where they can be outside roaming around and doing dog stuff, it’s so immoral to have a dog.
We have a senior cat, and people think it’s ridiculous that I bring her to my parent’s house to cat-sit when I’m away. THEY ARE LIVING BEINGS! They deserve consistent love and attention, and to be physically active. If you are leaving your dog in a crate all day, you are abusing them. Period.
I would attentively listen to Caroline go into the depths of her eating disorder experience for another 85 hours. I am SO passionate about eating disorder/body dysmorphia recovery and how, when it comes down to brass tacks, you pretty much are on your own when it comes to fully coming to a sustainable life-long approach to healing.
Dude I’ve said this so many times.. big dogs in apts is just rude for the dog. Sorry not sorry.
Bedding! My partner and I sleep on a king-size bed with a fitted sheet and we each have our own comforters - it's the BEST!
He sleeps hot, I sleep cold so we have different needs when it comes to bedding. We can still snuggle up but when it's time to sleep we have our own zones and everybody's happy.
Thank you for talking about food restrictions as taboo now!!! I don’t eat things I’m allergic to, things that upset my stomach, or foods that literally cause cancer (bacon- and alcohol!!). Why is it bad for me to restrict ultra-processed foods that are literally engineered to be hyper palatable and addictive and trigger my Binge Eating Disorder. It’s just not worth eating those things for me because they serve zero nutritional benefits and I am incapable of eating them in moderation. How is that bad??? How is that not intuitive eating??? Everyone on the internet- including nutritionists- seem to think you need to eat donuts to be eating intuitively, but that has actually led to me gaining over 100lbs and feeling like I was suffocating under my own weight whenever I lied down. Obesity is not the answer. I say that as a joke, but it’s also true. Rant over. I love you both ❤
The sour candy is SOOOO relatable. I keep it for special occasions only--like on road trips or when I go to the movies. cause otherwise I just would eat it everyday lol
"It's 5 o'clock somewhere" which is permission to drink, because it is evening
I listened to the podcast on the Podcast app but I had to come to RUclips to validate you both on your hot take about emotional support dogs 😂😂😂
My unwanted two cents on Jess’. hat situation: I recommend getting either the Habbibi or the bar one. The political one is a little trendy now and it may not be relevant for years to come so you will probably declutter that sooner than the others.
Are we sure it’s not brat (as in bratwurst)-girl summer? That’s how I read it.
I want you can do coke off a pigeon merch
Awww i want a habibi/lover hat! ❤
I can't believe I finally found people who share my opinions about dog ownership...I feel so seen right now.
I have an interview rec or collab on style. Daria from Wonder Wardrobe. She has a RUclips channel and I love her philosophy and approach to style. She's also into sustainable style so could be an informative interview.
I constantly feel guilty about my dogs being bored or sad when I have to leave and now.. I feel worse 🥲
LOVE the political hat! We need to take the symbol of the American flag back too 🇺🇸
I will now only refer to camo as “military jungle print.” So cute.
The dog chat, the do “better”! You guys have the best podcast ever. 😂❤️❤️
Such a great ep!! ❤
I love y'all like sisters. -- I think the Democratic party has been running on very superficial platforms for the past few elections, to the detriment of issues of very high importance, including foreign policy, the healtth of the economy, and homeland security. As a former Bernie voter, I voted for Trump in 2020 and will again this year. -- I also love & respect dogs way too much to keep a dog in my apartment. The pod continues to be the song of my people. Xoxo.
We just moved to Portland and the dogs go everywhere! All the brunch spots have patios for the dogs to come along 🥰 our dog loves it here more than she loved being out in the country getting ticks and being hot
i love you girls!!! the laying in the beds is IT