What He REALLY Wants When He Ignores You
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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If you're ignoring someone on purpose, you're a child.
99% of the time though
And this causes all kinds of relationship issues...
Nobody ignores someone on purpose or for sport. Ignoring isn't a verb, THINKing is. Planning. Doing things. Etc etc. People are just insecure and take it offensively when someone spends more time talking to themSELVES.
@@allykayyy2683 lots of people ignore others on purpose.
Actually they do @@allykayyy2683
A moron 🙄 yes agree
@@allykayyy2683 it can be done for manipulation tho in some instances.. when they know you can see them interacting with others and especially if you have genuinely done nothing wrong. I'm going through this right now with someone who constantly thinks he is a victim it's unbelievable . there's a difference between silence and the silent treatment 😢
A couple of hours is fine. A couple of days means you’re not the only one he’s seeing.
For sure
Or that he’s married!
Very true.
OR YOU GET ON HIS NERVES ALREADY !!!!!
AND HE NEEDS SOME SPACE FROM YOU
@@hawaiigirl8089 that makes total sense. I needed to see this. This really changed my life rn. Thank you
If he ignores me, he is teaching me how to learn a way to live without him
If someone doesn't want to talk to you every day, they aren't your partner.
Facts!
It's not about want it's about healthy boundaries. We can talk every day just fine. But if you're having a mental breakdown if I don't reply within an hour of your last text; you have serious attachment issues that you need to work on as a person. Partner or not, they're still an individual with their own individual life. It is unhealthy.
@@aaronlevesque2909that depends on the situation. If your partner knows where you are and that you're safe and you've told them you are working or want time to be on your own, or with friends, then you're right. But in that case why would your partner even be texting you? If there's something going on however I would expect my partner to be reachable.
I don't get in a relationship thinking I still want to have my own life. I go into a relationship thinking I will share my life from now on with someone. Doesn't mean we don't need our own time and space and privacy from time to time. But thinking you're keeping your own life exactly how you spend it as an individual before going into a relationship can be dangerous when the other person is expecting something else. And it honestly makes me wonder if you are not avoidantly attached instead of the other person being anxiously attached.
@@aaronlevesque2909 people will rip you into pieces then act like they don't know why you're disregulated for a while
@@danaparfitt2491 no literally this 💯😪
As soon as you see someone play stupid games, get out asap. If he pulls away, you WALK away, and don't look back.
Exactly
I agree its a sign that he's not interested or he may not even be thinking about her if its a head game and you don't give into it he might actually change his approach. Women are not going to chase them because we already got enough going on to be chasing people. If they really want somebody they usually go after her they don't flip flop like that unless there up to no good.
As a teenager what is more fun without games?
Yes! That's exactly what I say. Nobody who really loves somebody ignores them or plays games or disappears for a while just to see what that person's going to do. That is manipulative, controlling, and basically a form of narcissism. Do not play that game.
Guys generally dont play games in relationships
This is foolishness. If a man behaves this way, bounce. When a man is into you, you know.
How do you know? By him fawning ? Or something much more subtle?
There’s nothing wrong with being busy. Ignoring someone means you KNOW they are looking for contact or connection and you are NOT giving it to them. There’s no reason to do this in a relationship. What we women want is an adult who can simply communicate that he has things on his mind and needs alone time….
Exactly it's not complicated but some men make it difficult and when you adress it decently they gaslight you that it gives them stress.
So they are the victim and the woman is the one who is making it hard.
They try to reverse the situation. Basic communication. Can be 2 word text. Respect.
If you care and like someone you will reach out. At least within 3 days.
Just Communicate.....
💯👌🏽✌🏽🙄🙏🏽😂
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650ot they get defensive saying they're wnitbattached to their phone or get busy. But as soon as they need you, they're blowing your phone up.
I"m almost 40 and each year passing realizing im so much more happier being single. So much bs I was truly exhausted. I have so much love to give but its more worth it to put it towards yourself, friends, family.
Same here ❤
Right there with you 🎉
But the thing is, I wanted romance and a family like my mom got to have
What a guy wants when he ignores you… to be ignored right back because that’s what you should do since he’s choosing not to be a real man about anything.
Or maybe he’s just not that into you.
Right and she may not be that into him, either..after a while it gets old trust me, men forget that women usually tend to have more options than men do.
Damn straight
This!
Thats a Good 😊 one!
No one’s ignoring anyone if they’re busy- they’re busy!! If someone is ignoring you, they want you to go away.
Yeah you got it
Most people who pretend to be busy aren’t and they’re not ignoring you. They’re playing games especially if they ignore you and then start contact, unless you did something that would make them cut you off.
A guy ghosted me after putting his points in the argument and then didnt even listen to what i had to say. Been a week and he has not checked the messages i sent as my points in the argument
Thsy could just say that and end things vs dropping hints like a child
@@SR77736 clear communication is best, no doubt. We should all do our best to not get swept up in petty things.
I think the real red flags are when his behaviour changes e.g. if he has been texting you twice a day and he suddenly doesn't bother anymore. I would say, he is either going off you or he has found someone he prefers. I think women know when things have changed. I certainly do. I now listen to the alarm bells instead of ignoring them like I used to. It is better to have temporary misery, having to let him go, rather than a lifetime of misery knowing deep down that you can never really trust him. I think in relationships sometimes the penny can suddenly drop that the other person is not for them.
Yes I went through that 😢 now I’m realizing it smh
@@Lovemeorhateme313me too
Oh boy the penny did drop
A man who plays the now you see me, now you don't "wonder game" isn't worth your time.
Amen
If someone doesn't respond within a few hrs because they're doing something else, that isn't "ignoring". That's life. A day, weeks or months, yes. In that case, he clearly doesn't care & just wants someone to entertain him.
On the other hand, I've seen guys get insecure or assume a woman is playing mind games when she's not responding within a freaking hour.
They always have double standards
Yeah… I was at a brisk of getting kicked out of my house and I working to take care of the rent snd bills! Now he did want to help me and I’m responsible for ignoring him but that’s not the reason I was in no communication because I had my own fears of what he wanted really because of my trust issues snd if he is real or just pretending to be nice! So all that energy I focused on work and I just realized that I may have hurt his feelings so now I’m messaging him but he’s not responding! He is probably thinking I don’t like him back but that’s not the case!
If it's a couple hours, I'm not gonna freak out, but if it's been days or weeks- I'm out. And he better not come back around, cause I'm busy
Couple hours is still rude AF
@@ninisimone3381 I guess it would depend on the conversation itself. And if I'm actually dating him.
👏 👏
But then they will messege you and say that you are very quiet
What if it’s your husband
I don't think my man is IGNORING me if he's busy. To me, IGNORING, is a conscious choice to avoid a person because they are either upset with them or playing manipulation games.
Even busy it takes a few seconds to check in every day or two
He wants me to ignore him right back as far as I'm concerned. Bye boy
Seriously, if that’s what he wants he should just open his mouth and do her the courtesy of telling her. It’s about time men (and women) stopped playing stupid games and were just adults enough to be honest with each other!
But maybe, he wants to feel like modern Casanova and he wants to see other girls fighting for him. I know such type it is not nice for girls being in love with him. He wants to use the girls and level up his self esteem.
could not agree more.... i honestly don't get how/why they can't put forth 2 seconds worth of their energy to say I DON'T FREAKIN WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE
The reality if he is intermittent about texting you- he is conditioning the relationship. He still wants to have sex with you on his terms. He doesn’t want a commitment. He is with you for an experience.
Unless you want to be in a turmoil roller coaster relationship where you are simply a toy of convenience.
Walk a way! Stop communicating with this person.
The more time goes on and you give to this relationship the more you are putting your self at risk of being screwed up for life!
True and those men are evil.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 they truly are Evil. They do not care about the other person .
The men we are talking about are out for their own pleasure.
This is pure facts❤
Yup they're nit fully invested. Everything is ok their terms. They text when they want to reply. But don't text when they don't want to. Bc that's how the relationship will be. All about their selfish needs.
Not a bad person just not a matture one. For a relationship to remain stable have to communicate and resolve issues fairly. Everyones not ready.....✌️
Follow this advice and you'll get hurt less: 1) You can tell VERY early on (within a month) if the guy likes you and is interested. You'll know. If you're still wondering after a month? Hes not into you (and probably chasing someone else), and just using you for an ego boost
2) If after 3 months, he doesnt commit- walk. Guys KNOW within 3 months if they consider you as long-term material. MOST men will know after 10 months to 2 years that you're wife material.
What if you knew he liked you, heavy flirting and affection etc. for months, but it's long distance. He's willing to fly over but suddenly says he is emotionally unavailable ...
and when I said we need to cool off on flirting and he's completely ignoring me.
How about he shows his interest for 2 years then everything shifts? It got me so confused if what we have before is true or not.
Guys don’t want that. Let’s be real. They want to chase the cool girl until he traps her and gets her co dependent on him like a house maid and a mommy. Then he gets sick and tired of ya and tries to devalue and discard you. Not worth the trouble ladies. Keep it movin’
truth....
Without attitude about men you will never be married
@@BobSmith-kd4oc plenty of men have an attitude towards us too. You apparently think we're all gold diggers scheming to divorce you and take your shit.
I agree. Men really think women are there to fulfill all their needs but hardly give back in return. It’s nothing new but I love seeing women resisting this dynamic and demanding a better quality relationship from men.
We need ladies school to avoid being co dependant and trapped
Good advice. Who wants a partner that is going to drain them mentally. That's an insecure person and you do not want a person that is is insecure of who they are because then you are in trouble.
I used to get so caught up in thinking that things were the worst if he was not answering my text right away but my anxiety really shined light on how insecure I felt about myself and the lack of love and validation that I was giving myself. I was expecting to get it from whatever guy I was with! Recipe for disaster by the way……
It's so simple ladies you can play the same game ignore him report, block and delete his number just forget about him don't text or call him plse don't sound like you are desperate give him space sorry i don't have a big baby boy to worry about a man who doesn't even care about me.
Wow thank you! New perspective and journey I didn’t know I needed to address. Screenshotted with. Love from Houston Tx
Definitely there's a Prince or King who's waiting for you by God Grace he will make the way for me just be little patient forget about a man he will come not be a chase looking he must do the chase looking for a loyal trustworthy respectful curvy nice boobes Chinese eyes hardworking women if i qualified for his needs i will apply get what i deserve he must meet my needs a honest,loyal,trustworthy respectful man very confident clean and smart hard-working romantic who will treat me like a Queen as a first priority my sole mate.
This is me even though my favourite saying to others...if you don't love yourself how can you expect someone else to love you
Couple hours no problem, 3 days no contact walk away if im not missed why should i waste my time!!! 🤞🤞🤞🤞
When he acts cold or weird, I act like he's the best I can get. I increased his ego. Then he lose me. That's it! I'm easily done with him and move on. I'm tired of their games!
😂😂😂
I've done this. It is fucking hilarious and I know it's all ego but I be dying laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not narcs, they love it when you are confused about what is going on.
"he's probably got other things going on...."
yeah, sure he does. Or other women.
Ignoring for an hour when it could take literally seconds to say he is doing something and would get back.
A couple of days or more means he’s just not that into you. Move on. Don’t share your sugar with someone like that 😜
If he is ignoring you, then to find the answer why do you ignore someone ? The answer is simple, he is no longer interested
This really helped when we went from talking daily to no contact for a week. He would message me to ask about my day and it would spark a 6 hour long call.
It was wonderful, but I realize now I was putting a lot more effort in than he was. I didn't realize that I was the one messaging first, complimenting him, offering support and devoting time I didn't have to him while he was just soaking it up.
I wanted it to be easy. I didn't want to play games but he kept "testing" me. I wanted someone I could confide in and he didn't want to talk about anything too serious. I just wanted him to make it clear how he felt about me and I suppose his silence did just that.
Men do NOT want a NEEDY woman!! You're correct in saying that she should have a life of her own!!! Not dependent on him to make her happy!!!!
I'm a woman and I agree 💯 very important that we have our own life you will have better relationships with people's and it will be easier to walk away if the person is not showing you interest.
Yes if he doesn't want to fulfill my needs then someone else will. "Needy" bahaha that's a ruse by narcissists
Yes she can and should have her own life, but she can also expect to be treated with respect and feel secure in the relationship/connection (e.g. if the man answers after many hours or a day on occasion, that he explains why the delay etc)
Sorry you don't ignore someone you love and you strive to be with them.
Why can't people just communicate like adults? If someone is busy that's one thing but if someone is IGNORING YOU to get some kind of message across, that's childish and dumb, grow up. That goes for both sides.
I hate when they insult you with the “I was busy” excuse when it’s been days since they last texted. Who is really too “busy” to check their phone for 2-3 days? Just grow a pair and tell me that you aren’t interested
Exactly leave them alone
just give him the same energy back
Exactly
Why don’t they man up and say things straight!
Lol if he ignores you ignore back
Lol good advice I’m gonna try it 😂
I had a guy loose interest after date 2, bc I didn't go to bed with him. Found out he dated girl in another dept, and was sleeping with her. She got friday, I got sat. Glad I didn't. He bragged he was doing her to others. I don't chase, and got a bad feeling like he wanted dinner over with to get to sex. Dodged a bullet
Never ignore those bad feelings. Intuition is built into women for a reason.
If he shows up out the blue, acting as if you disappeared, its Games.
I don't think of it as him ignoring me, more of he has a life outside of me, he has two jobs, kids, hobbies, friends I have the same (well only one job) I'm certainly not waiting by the phone. I just tell myself he's busy/preoccupied with things and he'll be back...then he is! Live your life! Definitely wouldn't want him waiting desperately by the phone too. I've dated clingy men and it's a real turn off.
Got to love those silent treatments......
What he really wants when he ignores you? Not you!
Most women don't sit by the phone waiting for a man who purposely ignores her. And men know that. If a man is trash enough to ignore someone to test them than move on. Ice seen many men who do this but freak when their woman isn't immediately available. That's what I don't understand.
It's called manipulation. They also enjoy thinking about how their woman is pining for them, sadistic! Move on and never look back.
Plainly seen and said; He doesn’t want me. He’ll see if/when he wakes up that I don’t want him. To ignore and not talk to me will accomplish the goal. No need to think that I’m sitting around waiting and wondering. You get what you give.
I’ve been situations when it’s been several weeks or months. By the time he recommences communication I can’t even remember his name or who he is 🤔😯
😂😂😂
I like that. You had better forget his name. Lol
Lol hit ‘em with the, Sorry who is this?
Lol no but in all seriousness, don’t respond⚔️
His preferred option at the time dumped him😁😄
Sounds like he wants to play the field and when and if he's ready to see you, text you or call you he'll do it. That's why he wants you to still have a life going on so your not hanging on to his nipple's constantly.
Keep a healthy active lifestyle and I'd date to.
Don't be his "call back girl" ladies. Keeping it light and fun still having your own life would be good. Don't get serious right away
I'd continue to go about my life and if he calls you he does handle it from there.
Why don't you all just stay single? If you can't be bothered, why do it?
Probably nothing.
He's busy with someone else.
DUHH
Truth
Or busy doing work or something else in case of introverts
If he ignores me he's going to get my absence. Maybe even permanently. "F" around and find out.🎉
Women have lots to do. They don't have time to sit and wait.
I think when you are in long term already, people need a few days break here and there, especially those with very busy lives. People need breathing space too, and its nice to communicate productively. But when you just starting and person dissappears for long time...its not a good sign
Oh yeah. Not good. At that point they are doing it on purpose to try to mess with ur mind & hurt ur feelings. I say ghost back & move on
How long is too long? And do you think they shld at least update us beforehand? Cus i always end up being the one who got my msg on read but no reply.
This means he doesn't want you. Move on 😢
Ladies please spend your time loving yourself from a healthy place....enjoying your life.... growing.... working on your relationship with God etc....and only entertain someone that truly loves you and appreciates you....
This is arrogant behaviour, he need not bother to call back.
Because he made me feel something ive never felt before, i didn’t expect it to end over one argument about our communication.
Is there never a time where a guy would want me as a girl to reach out? Like it seems like he's ignoring me but he wants me to give him attention?
There's a third scenario. If he doesn't initiate contact for a day or 2, and he has a job or is studying, then he's probably sleeping or just having some quiet time to recharge his batteries.
What about just small texting but no calling for 6 days continuously
I do have other things I do but he's ignoring me long times, not how he used to be.
How do you know if he’s ignoring you to test you? Ignoring you so you focus more on you? Or ignoring you because he’s slowly fading out because he’s a pos
If he's testing you, he plays games. Cut the cord immediately.
If its a guy 9/10 hes not ignoring you.
Yea
He wants to chase other tails because he thinks you're already part of his collection..but he keeps dropping women trying to pick up more..just greedy and selfish
Just ignore them back
As long as its ignoring. Move on. But be sure he's not in strife.
He wants you to ignore him right back !!
Nice, you do shorts!
Hearing the very last part cheered me up "why would you hang onto someone- ignoreing- you-..." or in my current case; Talk down on you, hostile, negative, name calling and a major buss kill. Its a new acquaintance, clearly insecure, imature and can't deal with having another female around. Despite my attempts to include them and keep an open mind.
So as you teach; I'll just leave the drama and look for better things.
Years ago I was in a terrible relationship and I wasted probably 14 years (married & living with him 2 of those yrs) with this guy who did not love me. In the 1st so many years that's what I'd do I sit and wait for him to call. He would ignore me for days. My mental illness kept me hanging on to him as I couldn't face the pain of breaking up. He put me through a lot of mental/emotional pain and even gave me 2 black eyes once.
Absolutely💯 You’re always spot on. This is you’re true calling. Helping others in many different ways with all you’re insight and knowledge and experience. Well done Matthew👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I appreciate that.
@@MatthewCoast You’re so welcome!!!
You Are So Right Why Would Someone Want To Hang Onto Someone Whose Ignoring You
Well this Woman doesn't give energy to people who dont have time for me. Just the way it is.
Lets face it if a guy is interested then you wont feel like you dont matter to him.
Same goes the other way I think.
People make time for those they care about.
He’s describing what a healthy person in a healthy connection would want (sans intentionally ignoring someone)-your partner to have their own life and be happily independent.
We all know though that someone INTENTIONALLY ignoring you with no seeming rhyme or reason usually points toward wonderfully less-than-healthy character traits such as manipulation and just plain being an asshole.
Any mature adult will communicate and tell you they're busy, which will ease anxiety. Unless you're dating a cluster B personality (like a narcissist) and then it's a whole different set of rules. Ghosting for a few days or leaving for 24 hours is the standard practice.
Man I don't have the energy for the silent treatment. I just give him his space for a while then talk to him like normal, no attitude.
If a man needs soooo much space that he would go MIA for days then he should stay alone rather than in a relationship 😊
What he could do is explain what’s going on and why he’ll be out of touch for a while. In the videos of yours I’ve seen I feel like you’re training women to be narcissistic supply.
Exactly 💯
Absolutely We should just be our true selfs Not into game playing If I don’t fit your life, please feel free to move on, the sooner the better 😂
I don’t think so. He’s teaching you to value yourself and not to settle for bad behaviour. If you love yourself, someone else can bring love to your life and add to the experience. If you don’t love yourself, then you’ll be looking for someone to complete you. In the latter, you’ll be less likely to walk away from bad behaviour, and will end up in a toxic or codependent relationship, and it’ll be exhausting. Look after yourself, find the good in yourself, find things you like to do, and the right man will find you. It’s not narcissistic. All therapists even teach you that you need to love yourself first too
@@sallyannhenno3909he's encouraging bad behavior
Exactly. Explain it. Small effort! So both can feel relaxed and secure and able to enjoy their days without anxiety caused by a disrespectful selfish figure.
I started ignoring my ex to try to get him to realize how much time and energy I had devoted to the relationship when I was only getting bread crumbling in return. I would talk to him if he talked to me but not initiate and stopped reaching out to him. This was when I realized it was all one sided. Instead of an apology or even recognition I got ignored back. That was 9 months ago and I moved on. He still ignores me. Lol
Dang my boyfriend will ignore me for a couple days and tell me that it’s normal to give him space. He will play video games for 12 hours straight and be okay without talking to me for days. I guess it’s time to let go 😭😭
Trust me that is what he wants.. Thank you for the message really needed it.
if you are freaking about hours of no contact get a grip and have life dint be needy
There are so many reasons they could be ignoring you.😮
This is excellent advice, very empowering! I love that you're teaching people to examine their own behavior and set reasonable expectations instead of feeding into rumination.
Sounds like games to me .
Are u the representative for men.? The girls that follow this need to get some self esteem and stop learning how to constantly guess what's going and how to cater to your man. if your ignoring me I'm so okay with never seeing u again. When 2 people are interested in each other it's not guessing game. Dude I love being single....test me please
😂. If there were more people like you then men wouldn't get away with their crap. Its because they know the woman will be there waiting for him, he probably does this s***
💯💯💯
He wants you to move around!
If he doesn't talk to me for almost 2 months??.. Means he got someone else 😂
Life too short to be upset.
If it’s a day or a couple of days it’s Game Over 😂
Ghosting
guys ignore woman for hours and days too. I move on
Be a responsible human being with your partner randomly, ignoring someone is childish.
If he's ignoring you out of the blue, he's deprioritizing you for other people and doesn't really want to deal with you anymore. It happened to me with an ex who came back into my life after 9 years after I broke up with him. I noticed old behaviors and patterns that happened just the way they did years ago. It was really quite bizarre. And I let him go.
Yes bro thank you but I just want to live my life in peace, freedom ❤
He doesn't let you do what you want and have freedoms so you dont and THEN he gets mad that you dont do anything without him 😂
The second one happened to me💀 idek why I’m literally shedding tears for this guy. He was so hot and then so cold. He was texting me all day, all night, and then suddenly ghosted me.🤧 It was so bizarre.
Please don't do this to yourself its not worth it ,you will find someone who really cares for you and will invest time in you.
I just had the same happened to me for the 2nd time ,it's been 3 days !!! I have deleted his number,life is too short to wait on a waste man .
Good luck ❤
How many days not texting means " ignoring"
He’s NOT interested
If I have stuff to do I tell her and if its something she can assist with I ask her if she wants to help. Even when I am super busy for a week I make time for a date night. But regardless of the task or time away - I always bang hard at night and she knows I still want her.
In the initital phase of dating, its a test to see if you are feminine and have self love. However during dating, its abusive. If its in the situationship stage, hes being insecure, immature and wants validation.
Couple of days is not that long in some cases ... life can be so caught up with work and study and self-care and rest...
He was space. Bro I’m giving you your space, time and energy for good.
But we are talking about a whole week not an hour 😂 yup he’s gone
We all have fuckin full lives in which are phones are attached to our hip