Would You Date A Woman Who Earns More Than You? (Feat. Keiji Umehara) | MEN, EXPLAIN EP 1
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- #podcast #relationship #money #career #sugarmummy #girlboss
Are men prepared to be a house-husband?
Traditionally, When looking for potential partners, men tend to look for “housewife material.” But in the modern century, research has shown that 87% of men said that they would date a woman who earns more than they do - but would they marry these women, and sacrifice their pursuit of a career if hers is more viable than theirs? In this episode, we invite a male guest to dig deep about what men really think of women’s success.
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Host:
Sonia Chew - / soniachew
Featuring:
Keiji Umehara - / umeandhara
-
Directed & Edited by: Lynette Kee
DOP: Yap Li Yu
Producers & videographers: Nazurah Razali, Yap Li Yu, Lynette Kee
Business inquiries:
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BASED Keiji saying it how it is. It's a girl thing in Singapore, 90% of girls would not want to date a guy that earns less than her. They all say they don't mind until it actually happens, then they start to wonder why your meals are at hawker centres when her friends go dating at Dempsey, why their friends get picked up in cars but they gotta take bus or grab. Trust me i've been through it and anyone that denies that this stereotype is true is completely delusional
you are right...
Hypergamy
I everytime i hear Sonia's voice it takes me back to my secondary 987fm days hahahah
😘😘
Agreed man! :)
I've married my wife who earns more than me. We don't mind it and a lot of the times we even joke about it. We compliment each other in different ways. As long as we love each other whole heartedly, thats the only thing that matters.
As a guy who doesn't earn that much, i admire girls who are successful, I don't mind dating them in fact I would want to learn more about their mindset and the stepping stones that get them there, I might also take reference and add it into my steps towards my wealth goals. So in turn we all get better together.
Basically u just want her to provide for you la HAHHAHA. Please cut to the chase
Love says it all. So what she is earning more. That will not make the man less of a person to her.
Indeed!
for me it depends on whether the woman is truly and sincerely ok with me earning less. like Keiji said, he is ok with the girl earning more, but the man has to be equal or more. That the problem. Being a guy does not mean you will definitely earn more than the girl. But society expectation is different.
It is ok for a girl to earn less or more but for guy they can only earn equal or more. So for a guy the woman earning is not something he can rely on but a goal he has to reach, a "KPI" he has to achieve. And if his earnings is part of his value as a man in a relationship, then naturally he would be "competitive" towards the girl or like keep trying to overcompensate something.
A lot of girls complain about guy not ok with them being rich, but they themselves complain about the guys being poor. Women are praised for being strong, treated as previous when being weak but guy are despised heavily for being weak. There is only one way out for guy, then people wonder why guy are stressed when they are not able to reach that standard.
For girls who are not pressured to be weak/strong, poor/rich, it is just up to her personal pressure of course it will be different.
How a woman use her money/earning in relation to the guy is 100% up to her. If it is something she use to take care of her man, he would have a chance to appreciate her strength. If her money is set as a goal that her partner must reach or else, there will always be that pressure. If she is competitive with it, then man will be competitive as well.
A lot of the time man simply sense how does the woman view her own money in relation to a guy and we react accordingly.
Not the "earn less for a while but have to earn more in the future" That not true acceptance, that the woman earning would effectively be functioning as a KPI of sorts, literally, that the guy have to reach before the woman patience runs out.
Sooo....Sonia..when can your boyfriend quit? hahahahahaahaah
Man want hot sexy beautiful women, women want 1001 things, enough said.
I'm so glad autoplay just started this video. I love this conversation.
Personally, I feel like I'm built more as the dependent person in a relationship. I'm the homebody who would take care of the kids more than be the breadwinner. I think it's only weird because of how society promotes the guy to have to be the one making all the money. To me though if a woman works better in the workplace than at home or the guy works better at home, they both need to be able to bring their strong suits to the relationship instead of fitting square pegs in round holes just because of how it's "supposed to be".
Gay couples have to figure out gender roles without having the arbitrary male/female surface level look at the world anyway, so that only further influences where I'm coming from on it.
For what it's worth, this is coming from a Gemini.
Thank you for sharing! We definitely encourage more alternate perspectives in these conversations!
Bro you just red pilled me. Unfortunately societal stereotypes are dominant everywhere ...
If you give the guy a platform to be relied on, they will step up to that level of faith. If you’re like nah I can do everything, they be like chill la.
It's all a question of respect for the individual as a human being. In this era where our roles are no longer defined purely by our gender, education, income, and what-not, the key is the mutual respect that we should have of our partner as an individual, a person, a human. We all have different strengths and weaknesses that we bring to the relationship, and as a partner in a relationship, we should be looking at the best interests of the relationship and be ready and willing to take on the roles in the relationship that we're stronger in. If she's a better earner and one partner has to stay home for the good of the family, then the husband stays home, but the wife must still respect him as a person, a man, and not lord it over him because she's bringing home to bacon. Likewise for the husband if the roles were reversed. Ultimately, for me, mutual respect is the name of the game.
Btw, great to know that a guy can quit to be a house-husband. But the reason why many may choose not to do so because unlike women, men are NOT given alimony in a divorce barring exceptional situation e.g. handicap. So since you're agreeable to this idea of a man having to give up his career for you/family, you should proactively fight for men to be given alimony benefits similar to women. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Not true in many common law countries these days including singapore. Distribution of assets n maintenance is pretty equally applied using the same parameters
@@dennisgohyahoocom Not sure what you’re smoking.. this doesn’t apply to Singapore🤣. Why don’t these so called girl boss campaign for it? Funny how when a divorce sets in, they quickly keep mum and push to get as much $$ as they can, damn the morality of it, give me the $$.
@@dennisgohyahoocom “Maintenance for men in Singapore remains restricted to instances where a husband is incapacitated, by a physical or mental disability or illness, from earning a livelihood and unable to maintain himself and continues to be unable to maintain himself”
expatliving.sg/men-and-maintenance-and-alimony-divorce-in-singapore/
Also I think Singaporeans, in general, can be quite practical about things. I said can be. So some people, not all. So whoever's earning more, keeps doing it, makes sense mah.
Totally loved it....the pacing and the interaction was just perfect!!!
Thank you! More episodes to come, do keep a lookout for them! (:
2 main problems:
1. afaik, sg divorce law states that most times, house husbands dont get any cash or get the kid in the event of divorce. thats slowly changing but we are still working up a mountain here. maintenance is only provided if the man is unable to maintain himself. so if you were to spend 10 years taking care of the kid and a divorce happens, well. you can start your career then and there as a grab driver. mummy gets the child, the money, and a new daddy.
2. girls prefer guys who earn more than them.
Interesting new concept and interesting topic! 👍🏻
We're glad you enjoyed it! Definitely more juicy topics to come!
I mean.. why not? Just because i'm a law student, almost all the girls I meet has mentioned at least once about how i'd be making a lot of money in the future. If i love you, it doesn't matter to me whether who makes more money and is more successful. I'd assume that its the same for some women as well. If she's okay with earning more than you then i think you really should just put your pride down and be proud and feel happy for her
At this day and age, its completely fine for women to do what men has been doing in the past, at the same time, its also completely fine for men to do what women has been doing. The more traditional and older people might disagree on that but its really up to the couple to decide for themselves.
I'm a simple youtube fan, i see Keiji i click
same here bro same here
EYYYYyy
@@UMeAndHara eyyyyyyyyyy man hahahs
i need these podcasts to be longer!! love it !!
Thank you Sabrina ♥️
Hear hear
love this concept of a podcast! enjoyed this episode tremendously :D
Yes. I would because it’s now 2021 and women are able to advance in careers and earn their own income, unlike a generation or two back ago where women are usually the ones at home doing housechores. If a man feels inferior because of this, they gotta get rid of this toxic mindset and realise that a female doing well is not gonna make them less of a “man”.
🙌
Notice the low birth rates and marriages rate correlates to the new mindset where women stop being housewives . If depopulation is your goal, please carry on this toxic culture.
@@darkcastle1489 so how? Get all women to understand that giving birth is all what they are born to do? let em choose whatever they want.
@@danielradcliffeissopretty put all these women on an island by themselves without any men. I want to see them building their own houses, building their own transportation, getting their hands dirty with farming, making their own civilisation. I’m pretty sure the island will be beautiful and well kept, that is as far it can be.
Edison created the light bulb, Nikola Tesla created electricity, Wright brothers created airplanes, Bill gates created the computer, Steve jobs created the iPhone. Women create rumours and babies.
Women who create most of the world’s beauty products and cosmetics have any REAL value to the world?
Think with your head, not with your veg.
Love the podcast! It was super fun to listen
Thank you Julian 😘
Watching this just reminded me how much I like listening to Sonia speak :D
That’s so sweet of you thank you 😘😘
I feel too Entertaining watching this episode!! Kudos to Sonia & Keiji for a biggest thankful sharing about thoughts of dating life!
I don't mind as long as we love each other
Sonia's bf is a keeper for sure. He is probably a confident guy. My previous date told me that he prefers to date girls who earn less than him and when I told him I earn more than him, he told me he felt inferior because of that. We did not hang out together in the end, I can't find a job that earn less than him and he can't find a job that earns more than me. I guess there are still guys out there who really cares when the woman earning more than them. When I said "actually I earn more than you" he said " er ...better not lar. " :(
😰 Yikes.. Thanks for sharing your story! Gotta say kudos to you for trying to make it work and even going to the extent of finding a job that pays less! And you are right, different people do hold on to different values. We hope you'll find someone with the same values and belief system as you for your next match!
Lovein' the mustard yellow hoodie, btw.
i think the problem of the society is that we judge others (and sadly ourselves too) by how much they earn. Now where did this problem come from?
Humans in the past century has grown complacent because of peace. Hence its no longer survival but more for materialism. Rising standards of living contribute but really because we want luxury things. Interesting
Enjoyed this podcast a lot.. interesting topic.. being much older than my husband (13yrs) I’m currently earning more than him.. I’m waiting for him to reach the peak of his career so that it’s time for me to relax and stay home.. :)
absolutely love conversations like this!
Love Sonia. Love this podcast.
Thank you Shanie!
Thank you 😘 that means a lot!
‘When can i quit” HAHAHAHAHAHA
Reminded me of Piere Png's character in Crazy Rich Asians.
Nice la continue the good work
I just broke up yesterday and here I am watching about the women earning more...
As a girl perspective. I still very traditional and cannot accept. Just because nowadays girls are getting better doesn't give guys the right to slack off. Most guys now are okay caz to them yay got someone pay and be responsible even better la. To me, if the girl is earning more, the guy should try to step up his game too leh. Unless the girl is really very ahead at career. If not, actually in reality is still quite common guys can still earn more. And I think tradition should still be kept to a certain extent. I still like to play the role of a typical stay home mum and wife. Btw I'm 26yo but maybe I still think like a boomer HAHAHA
I want to date and marry someone with your mindset, blessed to have a wife waiting for me at home taking care of my babies, while I earn millions and live a life of a hero.
Lol.. In the Singaporean context, the majority of guys who earns much lesser needs to be given a chance to date for a few months in the first place in order to even know how it feels.
Usually the SG ladies will just eliminate these group without 5Cs before any form of meaningful relationship can even start so it’s a no brainer question.
Unless of course it’s Malaysian ladies. They are more willing to sincerely give it a shot than their SG counterparts.
Subscribed as 830th subscriber. Interesting vid!
sure, why not ?
Really awesome episode!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I would. Provided I can get such women to agree to go out with me in the 1st place.
dope hoodie Keiji, from H&M?
is this available on spotify?
Hello! Yes, this episode will be available on Spotify and Apple Podcast on the 27th of Apr!
The only man who doesn't love a woman who earns more than him is a man who doesn't love free money.
Just be a househusband, take care of the chores at home, and welcome your dear wife home and shower her with love everyday.
Nice topic ;)
Sonia's the best 👍🏽
NO!
Tunnel brothers luck huh, so if she meet a real Good Luck Chuck irl does it cancel out or amplify?
Men usually marry women across and down the dominance hierarchy while women usually marry across and up the dominance hierarchy. Therefore, the more successful and able a woman becomes, the smaller her market is...according to Jordan Peterson.
What about divorce?
Yes! It’s a change for once. =P
Keiji is cuteeeee 🤗
It is a sg (or mostly a developed world) thing where guys have to consider switching their traditional gender roles. Zooming out abit, in for e.g. the ASEAN region, there won't be such gender role confusion amongst the majority. In sg, it's not practical or realistic for guys to keep trying to "step up" as breadwinner when the gals are already mostly equal or earning more than guys. Sg guys will have to either reverse their thinking and force themselves take up traditionally feminine roles, or if they find that uncomfortable, the other real option is to move or find a partner elsewhere in a country that generally does not force a guy to become feminine.
Please stream on Spotify!! :(
Hello Kelvin, it is available on Spotify! We've updated the link in the description above. :)
@@itsclarityco YASSS THANK YOU!!
Why not I dont mind :)
fabulous 😜
Hope channel will find maturity soon. And stick to gender role topics in the years to come.
Babies are cash cows LMAO 😂😂😂
🤣🤣
she was so attractive until she started talking about horoscopes..
hhmm.... so how old is the girl in the video.. ( clarity)? 😁
Q
Just another echo chamber!
Qq
women want equal pay, gets two year headstart in life and then want men to earn more ... ok lor
Oh come on... men can always date a girl younger than them. then you can take away that mentality of yours. Better to gauge perhaps? :)